#sure i make jokes so often but i'm not exactly a shining beacon of peak self esteem. i think that how my people are percieved is a huge par
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hm.
#fucking hell. do you guys ever think about how normalized racism against indians is? I know i do#god.. why can't i just exist? why is it so normal to be so fucking disgusting about my people? i've spent my whole life thinking i'm#unattractive and ugly because of my body hair and my brown skin and the shape of my nose and the smell of my food#why can't i have all the sweet things the pretty girls have? will i ever be perceived as the same as them? will i always be unattractive?#my relationship with my culture is.. complicated. but still... it hurts so much. it weighs on me so heavily#sure i make jokes so often but i'm not exactly a shining beacon of peak self esteem. i think that how my people are percieved is a huge par#of why i feel that way about myself. it's to the point where i think my f/os would be better off dating someone else or wouldn't like me#because they'd think my culture is 'weird'#idk man. i've just been having a night#i saw some a.qua ship art and fell down a rabbit hole and spiraled. wow... would she even like me at all? or find me attractive in any way?#this is so unlike me y'all LMAAOOO you know how they say you should never listen to your thoughts past 9pm? yeah. it's almost 1am rn-#i should go to bed. i'll be okay. just been a lot going on and even more on my mind#sigh..#vent#i'll delete this later gamers#goodnight pals
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