#summer lovin' had me a [ mistake ]

[inkskinned]

we used to dye our tongues on purpose using kool-aid and i stood in the sprinklers with the grass already so muddy it was starting to do that thing where your lawn is now quicksand

i think i want to kiss you because you remind me of smoothing out the chalk drawing with gentle fingers. of anthills and feeding birds our leftover lettuce. of getting covered in briars while we picked blueberries from the backyard bush. i think i want to kiss you because it's a bad idea, and i think i want to kiss you because of how water grips the side of a pitcher of iced tea.

you said your life was a toddler's art piece, with paint splatted on your floor, in your mouth, in your hair. i was delighted by that.

i loved the idea of leaving color everywhere.

[lady-ashfade]

All Is Far In Love And Farming

Chapter 1: Getting Started

´*: ･ﾟ⋆˒ Yandere!Mha!Hybrids × Farmer! Fem!Reader. Chapter 1.

╰･ﾟ✧☽ storyline: The calling of being a professional farmer had been your dream since you were young. Growing up on your granddad’s farm was the best thing, many years later you happen to be back. And the property is now yours to restore. With some hard work, you want to restore hybrid caretaking back to what it once was.

╰･ﾟ✧☽ Chapters: Previous // Next

╰･ﾟ✧☽ words: 2.5k

╰･ﾟ✧☽ warnings: short chapters, stardew valley au, yandere behaviors, obsession, stalking, hybrid abuse, slightly sick love, possessive, manipulative, gaslighting. platonic yandere, hybrid and human relationships, and future warnings when more chapters come out, spelling mistakes and grammar who?

╰･ﾟ✧☽ characters for now: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugou, Mina Ashido, Ochako Uraraka, Tenya lida, Denki Kaminari, Kyoka Jiro, Tsuyu Asui, Shoto Todoroki, Eijiro Kirishima, Hanta Sero, Mashirao Ojiro, Koji Koda, Momo Yaoyorozu

series masterlist

-`｡ﾟ˘: ﾟ⋆ ––✷☽ ᱬ ☽��––⋆ ﾟ: ˘ ﾟ｡.`-

Everything you once saw, the brightest of grass and the crops ripe and perfect, and the animals in the barns chirping of happiness— it was all gone. once a happy place you roamed in the summer as a kid was now a abandoned filthy place, old bards with holes and damaged walls. Nothing was what it used to be, the grass was as tall as small trees and it was going to take a lot of lovin.

But if your granddad taught you one thing is that; working for a better future would make everything you did it worth it.

And that’s exactly why you are here, to make your future. Everything in your life was about becoming a farmer, like your grandfather. and like him, you believed hybrids deserved to be in a safe and open land to roam, not such in some metal factory and enclosed to live their life.

“Come join the number one hybrid farm in Japan, The League.” the tv rung in your ears back at the college room, the place had been taking over everything and running all the local and good places out. at one point the only place you probably could work at was The League, since they seemed to be everywhere. “New locations, New Areas, And New Pay. Call the number on your screen for more information.” you had heard the commercial so many times you rolled your eyes everytime.

Never did you believe they would come out here, and be the competition. 

Honestly, the first day your body was drained easily from all the work. The labor wasn’t exactly what you were expecting to start off with, moving the rooks and weeding. But you had supplies to start off with thankfully, the money he left you was so much, and ready for a new purpose. But the only thing that was helping you in all of this, your holy grail was a local store owner. Arthur, who happened to be your grandfathers best friend.

slapping the metal truck with the gloved hand, the old man smiled and stepped down from the back of the moving truck. you whipped off the sweat from your skin and catch your breath as the unpacked heavy boxes placed besides you and man.

“The old man used to buy twice as much as this and unload it all him, then complain when his back hurt afterwards. Lucky, he had me to talk some since into him.” the white haired man spoke breathlessly. you didn’t want him to have to help, seeing his age but he was in better shape then you by the looks of things. “Old bat was stubborn, you got that in you kid?”

taking a deep breath you arose from the bend down position you were in and look at the man, smiling a bit you commented back. “Used to give granddad a run for his money, I think I have it in me.” you were earned with a deep chuckle and a small one from yourself. starting back up again you closed the doors and gave the man who drove the truck the okay and he drove away.

the next day was worse then the first, your body was sore and tired, you wore sunscreen all over your body to protect you from the heat damage and the illnesses you could catch. unpacking all the equipment, getting them put together, and make sure the starter crops are taken care of. you took many breaks. and Arthur was the greatest help you could ask for.

you heard the story of how he met your granddad many times before, but you didn’t mind hearing it from his side. Arthur had moved from the United States to start his business with his family, and your grandfather was just started out in town. they were younger and bonded right away, and there for marriages, children and grandchildren. knowing he wasn’t as alone when you left was comforting in a away but you knew the full story. just before your tenth birthday you were moved away from the small town with your parents and left the farm behind.

“He talked about you every day.” The words perked up your ears. You looked at Arthur as he continued to work on a huge fan.

“Everything that happened in your life, he would tell me. What happened at middle school sport events, to dances and even show pictures of the dresses you wore. And man, when you went to college for Hybrid Education he was bursting with energy again.” It’s been a long time since he was able to leave the cabin. You knew that, but knowing still punched you in the guts.

“Was he proud?” asking was a waste of time.

“Proud as hell, there should be no doubt about it. His pride and joy was you, more then anything he did here, and now you have a legacy to continue.” smiling you continue to work to hold yourself from the weight building up in your chest. you missed him so much.

Each day there was something new to fix and call in, you knew granddad was rich from the bank account he left you. but boy, it sure was a lot of money. and now, you finally had a starting point. you had scheduled a barn repair on the electrical and building. the crops were set up along with the sprinklers and scare crows, even cleaned out the well…but not without getting algae all over you.

Smalltowns in the country side where the best, everyone in the community was helpful towards one other. And since The League had a location down the road, the people really came together. Businesses were losing in hybrid projects and animals, but the crops were the same. But this met more hybrids lost there homes, and had to be relocated elsewhere else or to The League…You hated it.

A big wooden sign at one of the joint shop centers made you smile and turn into the lot. today was the weekly event, selling of many things of local produces. you remember coming here as a kid and always getting blueberry jam from the market lady. and just like then, it was crowded. and with a lot of stalls and moving trucks. Arthur had told you they still had them and that you should check it out. of course you wouldn’t miss this for anything.

you shut the truck door and fixed your clothes before started the walk around. everyone was selling amazing things at their booths. the first table you saw was one cover in homemade soap bars and honey products. a sweet older couple ran that shop. some stalls were for hybrids for sale but you didn’t have room for them, at least until the barns are rebuilt. but milk, crops and seeds where your thing anyway to look at.

“how much for this?” the only person behind the table was a young girl who looked angry and ready to chew off your head, it was laughable. she was going to be hard to haggle, but a amazing work ethic. “I don’t know you, so twenty bucks.” your eyes widen and look down at the honey in your hand. it was a very small jar…and not worth it, I mean for the bigger bottles sure.

“Hmm, how about ten?” the small girl glared at your words and huffed. she shook her head in annoyance and pointed to the tag, “you trying to get out of paying hard working people lady? This is the best honey you’ll find in the whole country! Haggling is only for people I know,” her finger pointed at you and you back up a little at her shouting voice. “And you ain’t it!”

signing you pull out a twenty and handed it to her, she smiles so kindly you forget about the anger she had. placing it in your cloth bag you continue walking down the path, smiling and looking around. not much you could buy yet, though you did buy from groceries and loaded the up in the bed of the truck.

“well if it ain’t the talk of the town,” a sweet woman’s voice called out loudly. you turn your gaze and see a almost forgotten face, but one that filled you with joy and nostalgia. “Aunty Hoshiko.” You scream and rush over, the older woman comes out form her booth and takes you into her arms. only now did you realize the sweet small of jam and the jar’s decorated like they used to be, but this area was bigger and a extra tent was behind it.

“I couldn’t believe you moved back here after moving to the city, heard you got into a good college.” She smiled from cheek to cheek while pulling away. “Why come back here?” it was flattering how much she thought of you, but you couldn’t have stayed away from this place for much longer.

“Well, grandpa left me the farm and I needed to start my new life. Can’t get much better then a already laid for land, and with great soil.” she hummed but her eyes dropped a little and her smile became different. “I’m so sorry, he was a good man. you tell me if you need any help okay? Your granddad helped us a lot, so many people in town will be willing to do help too.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you smile and take a peek at the table, “mind if I look?” she is excited to show you all the new flavors and jars she has, letting you smell each one. she even offers you a discount for family.

you had a few jams picked out but you keep looking at everything, knowing you’ll come home with more. then there was a sign and paperwork around on a tables end.“Hybrid Rescues” is what you read and your hands reached for it immediately. seeing your interested, Hoshiko started to talk.

“The League has been running out businesses, hybrids are either purchased or…end up alone and abandoned. My friend runs a rescue company, we help her out here trying to give some of them a home.” you clinch the paper in your hand and want both more then to go punch the owners of the company. No hybrid deserves to be left alone.

“I usually have a few here with me, but today only one is for sale. He’s very special. And a house animal, or helper if you will since I know you don’t have much room for more yet.” the next step was to always get hybrids, but you weren’t sure if today was the best idea today…

“Oh!” that wasn’t your choice since she pulled your arm and lend you into the tent where only one hybrids sat. you struggled to look away from the hybrid laying in the floor.

He was huge. he looked peaceful tho, curled up on a bed and resting peacefully. he had long and pointed ears, a middle tail that curled. “he’s a special breed, no idea why they didn’t keep him since he must have cost a fortune.” there was a small scar on his arm and you hated to see, it looked like cattle whip strokes.

“tenya,” she called out quietly to wake the dog. you really didn’t know if you should get a hybrid, but seeing him already you knew you couldn’t say no. his furry ears twitched and his body rolled over ready to see what was happening. he was fast, and he was built. a pure breed for herding and hard labor. “I have someone here who needs a dog to help around the farm.” she patted you on the back and you got shy for some reason.

His tail was sticking up, his eyes glancing over and panicked. he was on high alert. “Hey buddy, my names y/n.” You smile softly. You don’t want to move until he gives you a sign. his nose sniffs into the air for a moment and his body freezes, you both stop for a minute too.

until the thumping of his tail was heard and he jumped up to greet you properly. you are taken aback and he gets excited and starts to shout, you can’t help but to smile. “My names Tenya, I am apart of the Iida breed. I have experience in herding, working and defending territory. I have many skills,” his hands reaches for hers and stuffs it into his nose to get a proper smell.

“Hello to you too,” you giggle. having some help now would be good, and a herding dog would the best thing.

“Tell me iida, are you okay with maybe coming home with me?” if it was only a dog he would for sure be jumping on you from how happy he seems to be.

Iida didn’t want you to leave to get things needed, saying it was his job to be with you now but you need to find food and things before leaving. he whined forever until he saw you again.

you came back to get him…like you said you would. he loved you, loved you so much. the kindest human he’s met.

Riding back to the farm was a journey. he was talking every second about all the things he could do, from each animal, hybrid or not. boy, was so happy to be by your side. and he was asking about you too. why you picked him? what you wanted him to do.

your heart broke once you got back to the cabin.

you held the door open and called for him to come in, but he just stood on the porch looking at you almost guilty. “Hybrids aren’t aloud inside, I must protect you from out here.” he was already looking for a place to set up for the night. it was a miracle you didn’t start crying again.

“Well, whoever told you that was a idiot. Many dog hybrids are aloud inside, and it’s my house so my roles go.” you tap the door again. he was hesitant, and it took about ten minutes to get him inside. and you told him to stay put while you get the things from the car…then told him it was a order to get him to stay.

you placed the things on the floor and smiled, proud of yourself. “Okay, so I got a large mattress for you. We can place it anywhere you want, also got you special food, hybrids approved.” he looked at the mattress for a long minute. Iida couldn’t believe it was his, he hadn’t slept on one of them since he was little, and then at the market earlier. And this one was his, made for his height and weight for him to sleep…inside.

“Your bought this for me?” He asked while poking at the bed, it’s softness amazed him. once he accepted his reality his tail starts to swing like crazy and crawled over to you, and hugged you lovingly.

“I’ll be the best boy I promise. anything you need I will do, anything.” his grip tightened around your waist and pushed his head into your plush stomach. you patted his head and thanked him, and told him he deserved to be loved and cared for.

That night, he placed his bed in front of your bedroom door and stood watch in his bed. to protect you, his master…his.

next chapter.

series master list.

Taglist: @serxinns @queenpiranhadon @hah-simp-acc-2 @imlonelyty @yourmommasworld @moonlight-dreamer04 @cherrysxuya @melody-deathnote @ladybug2235 @odevote118 @hrezx @androgynouszombiegentlemen @letmelickureyeballs @lovelystarstruckvoid @simpingmasterpiece

@ please don’t repost my stuff to any other platform. This is my writing so don’t claim it as your own.

[joelscurls]

stranded

pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

words: 2.6k

summary: your shitty boyfriend dumps you on the side of the road after a fight. joel miller finds you.

warnings: 18+ minors dni, no outbreak, explicit smut, oral (f receiving) (joel miller is a munch and u cannot convince me otherwise), slight angst, reader has a shitty/abusive (ex) bf (only briefly mentioned), allusions to piv sex, i think that's it? lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: this is my entry for the summer lovin' writing challenge put together by the incredible @pedgito, @amanitacowboy, and @chaotic-mystery (ily all so much), based on the above moodboard with the location hiking (i went for hitchhiking) and the quote "i'm your only hope". i haven't written in what feels like years & am admittedly rusty, but alas! it was so much fun to get back into writing with a little challenge. dividers by @/saradika-graphics. this was minimally edited; all mistakes are my own.

His red pickup truck had been the first car you'd seen in hours. Rain pouring down, drenching your t-shirt and streaking mascara along the apples of your cheeks, it'd been like a beacon through the fog. 

You’d asked to borrow his cell phone to call a friend. Don't have one, he’d drawled. Got a landline at my place, but the whole county’s without power.

And though you knew nothing about the man in the driver's seat -- not his name nor his history with the law -- you'd still gotten in when he'd pushed open the passenger-side door. After all, you had little other choice.

It was either that, or risk freezing to death on the side of the road where your boyfriend had deserted you.  Ex boyfriend, now. That asshole had taken everything from you: your phone, your keys, your dignity -- and left you for dead. So really, how much worse could this admittedly handsome stranger be?

Just a bit, it turns out. 

Okay, so he's giving you a lift. Back to his place to wait out the storm and call a friend on his landline once the power returns. And he's not hurling nonsensical accusations at you with hands curled tightly around the steering wheel. No declarations of, "My buddy swears he saw you dancing with another guy. Why would he lie about that?"

Still, his silence is beyond off-putting. His brows seem permanently contorted downward, his eyes narrowed on the road ahead as he drives, the highway closer and closer to flooding with every mile that passes. He hasn't asked if you're okay despite the fact that you're holding your ankle in your lap, its incessant throbbing a reminder of when your ex pushed you out of his car earlier. No, he hasn't even offered his name.

You wonder if you're driving to your death.

The first words he speak are muttered under his breath, a quick, "it's just down this road," as pavement turns to gravel. He slows the truck, tires crunching and mud splattering until the trees give way to a tiny wood cabin. The driveway is a long stretch of dirt that winds through an unkempt yard, all tall grass and overgrown shrubs.

It's dark, the sky an angry black as you hobble out of the truck. Your ankle stings and your heart pounds when the strange man rounds on you, and you flinch when he outstretches a hand.

"You hurt?"

His voice, though unamused, drips like thick, rich honey. Pools at your feet with the rainwater.

"Yeah," you respond meekly. Your fingers curl against your palm, nails digging into the skin there. "It's uh, my ankle." His eyes follow yours down to your feet. Widen at the sight of black and blue. 

"Shit."

It's quiet for a long moment. You can tell he's trying to piece it all together: how you ended up alone on the side of the road, hurt.  He still doesn't ask though. Not until a particularly loud rumble of thunder sounds overhead, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin.

He sighs, a half-hearted comforting hand on your shoulder. 

"Someone dump you out there?" 

"Yeah," you sigh. "Boyfriend. We got into a fight and he just...lost it."

The man nods. Takes a small step forward as you hop on one foot next to him. 

It must take five whole minutes to get to the front door. Your ankle only feels worse by the time you step onto the porch, throbbing having turned into searing pain somewhere along the way. You bite down hard on your bottom lip as he jostles the key in the doorknob, the metallic taste of your own blood a temporary distraction.

He motions for you to follow him in, which you do, albeit hesitantly. His house is as you'd expect it to be from your brief encounter: little furniture or decoration, dishes in the sink, a general air of…man…throughout the small, dark space.

“Sit down,” he says. “I'll get a first-aid-kit.”

“Wait,” you stop him, because for some reason it seems of utmost importance in this very moment, despite the flash flood outside and your inability to walk, to know–

“What's your name?”

“Joel.”

You situate yourself on the couch as you wait for him to return. Scan the room for any signs of imminent danger. There’s a bookshelf on the far wall, stacked top to bottom with hardcovers and carved wooden trinkets. You wonder if he – Joel – made them himself. 

You wonder if the books keep him company out here; if the stories of Huck Finn and Moby Dick make him feel less alone. 

You wonder why he’s so isolated in the first place. 

You have little time to dwell on it though, as he re-enters the room promptly, dusty first-aid-kit in one hand and a lantern in the other. He places the latter down by his feet before pulling up a footstool. Opens up the kit and pulls out a roll of gauze.

“Might hurt a little,” he warns, beginning to unravel it.

You nod. Brace yourself. 

By the look of his hands – large and gruff – you expect him to be a bit rough. But he’s gentle, surprisingly so, cradling the lower half of your leg and wrapping your ankle with laser focus. His fingers, though calloused, skate across your skin with a near-startling softness. 

You watch his face as he works on you, quickly finding yourself transfixed by the way his brows contort and his eyes narrow, by the absentminded twitch of his mouth. He looks so much less intimidating like this, and you inadvertently begin to relax into his touch.

He seems to notice this, leaning in closer to your body, and while you know it's just to get a better angle, more precision, it still sends a rather confusing shockwave of electricity up your spine. In this proximity, you can practically feel the heat radiating off of his body. Can practically see every fiber of muscle in his biceps as they flex under his flannel shirt.

This close, you're met with the rather inconvenient realization that Joel is beautiful.

You try to tell yourself that it's purely situational, that if you hadn't just been dumped on the side of the road by your asshole boyfriend, you wouldn't be seeking the physical comfort of another man. Still, this does nothing to stop the steady acceleration of your heartbeat, nor the growing arousal between your thighs. 

All of this, despite the pain in your ankle.

You almost don't realize he's done mending you, the shifting of his hand to your opposite calf sending you into a prompt spell of dizziness. Mind flooded with images of him spreading you apart, taking you right here on this worn, leather couch, you're silently reeling. 

His eyes flit up to meet yours, a little darker than you recall them being. His fingers curl against your skin and your breath hitches. 

Does he feel this too?

You shift experimentally. Let your legs fall apart just an inch. To your dismay, he pulls his hand back; clears his throat.

And just like that – the bubble bursts.

“All set,” he announces as he stands, before practically running out of the room.

A little humiliated, you retreat back into yourself. Stare out the window and pretend not to notice when he rejoins you in the living room and wordlessly drags his footstool to the opposite side of the room.

The remainder of the day passes agonizingly slow. Minutes feel like hours, the sky only growing darker, and it’s a wonder how Joel can even see the pages of the book he’s currently got his nose stuck into.

Not that he’d offered you one. 

Instead, you’ve been stuck in place. A prisoner to this couch, the springs of which are digging into your back uncomfortably. Staring out the window like some harrowed female protagonist in a period piece.

Joel doesn’t seem to notice your presence, after a while. He reads, drinks warm beer, and quite literally twiddles his thumbs. Anything to avoid talking to you. 

You’re not sure what you did wrong. Had you said something to offend him without realizing? Had your subtle pass at him been less subtle than you’d thought? Had you crossed a line? You’d really just considered it innocent flirting. Maybe Joel hadn’t.

Regardless, it makes you wonder why he even brought you here. Maybe he’d just wanted to feel like a hero – hadn’t thought about what came after. About you occupying his precious space. 

After a while of sitting in the same place, your muscles begin to ache. Plus, your throat feels dry. You need to stand, need to get something to drink. Except, when you move to get up, Joel immediately stops you. 

“Where you goin’?” 

“Need a drink.”

“I’ll get you one,” he offers. “What do you want?” 

What you really want is to go home. To forget this entire day even happened.

So you settle on–

“Vodka?” 

He hums. “Don’t got that.”

“Tequila?”

“Got some scotch left. Might be one more beer. Was really hopin’ to have it though.”

You scoff. 

“Okay. Water, then?” 

“That I can do.” 

He disappears into the kitchen and returns moments later with a glass. Hands it over without making eye contact. 

“Thanks,” you mutter. He says nothing in response. Just collects his empty beer bottles from off the floor and retreats once again. 

By the time he comes back, the sun is setting – at least, what can be seen of it through the dark clouds that still rage in the sky. 

He seems tense, fixating himself by the window and watching the storm with such acuity you think he may be waiting for the second it ends to kick you out. 

“Have you heard anything about when this is supposed to pass?” you ask.

“Have no electricity,” he grumbles. “So, no.”

You stretch out your back. Stand. This time, Joel doesn't stop you. “Just didn't know if you had a radio or something.”

“I don't.”

Rounding on him, you attempt to get him to look in your direction. Still, he stares straight ahead, like you're not even there. Frustration bubbles in you, quickly reaching a full boil.

"What is your problem?"

He finally looks at you. And then he laughs, though you get the sense that he's not amused in the slightest.

"My problem?”

You nod. Raise your eyebrows at him.

“I'm lettin' you wait out a storm in my house right now,” he says. “Doesn't seem like somethin' you should be asking me."

You scoff. "I just don't know what I did to piss you off."

He turns to face you completely now. 

"Are you kidding? Haven't done nothing but inconvenience me since you got in my truck. Askin’ for a fuckin’ cocktail like this is some kind of resort. Starin’ at me all day like i'm a guest in my own home.”

Is he fucking serious?

“Why’d you even pick me up?"

"Wasn't gonna drive by a stranded girl on the side of the road, was I?"

You're both silent for a long moment. You can't exactly be mad at him for rescuing you. Still, you feel extremely uncomfortable now, knowing that he doesn't want you here. Tears pickle the corners of your eyes threateningly. You choke them back.

"Well fine, if i'm such a fucking burden, i'll leave."

You're expecting him to open the door for you. Throw you out to the wolves. So you're more than taken aback when he shakes his head at you disapprovingly.

"Like hell you will. There's about two feet of water out there. Where you gonna go?"

"I don't know,” you admit. “But i'll figure it out."

"You'll figure it out?"

"That's what I said."

Joel tuts. "Look at the state of you right now. You can barely even walk. There’s no power anywhere. Just face it: you wanna get home safely, before tomorrow, i'm your only hope."

“Fuck you,” you spit, stepping closer to him. Where does he get off, acting like such a righteous savior? You're going to brush past him, leave anyway, but as soon as you go to move, his hand is winding around your arm.

“Don't.”

“Or what?” you hiss. 

“Just – don't.” His voice is less angry; more pleading.

“You don't want me here,” you say. It's not a question, but he nods anyway.

“Yes I do. I mean – I don't want anything to happen to you out there. Please just – let me make this up to you.”

His hand slides up to your shoulder. Squeezes gently. Your eyes wander to where he holds you. When they flit up to his face again, you find he's already gazing at you.

You're not sure who moves first.

You're back on his couch in an instant, your shorts being tugged down and off your legs, along with your panties. And then Joel is shouldering himself between your legs, shimmying down the couch and situating his face right in front of your pussy.

His nails dig into the skin of your thighs as he gets his first taste of you, and he groans. You shudder at the sight of him, the sound of him. Your fingers find their way to the curls at the crown of his head and grasp tightly onto them.

“Is this what you need, baby?” he slurs, and you nod deliriously.

“Yeah,” he smirks. “I know.”

His tongue dips into your apex, greedily lapping up some of your sweet nectar before he finally decides to put you out of your misery, dragging it up to swipe over your swollen clit. 

You instinctually buck against his face, trying to force him closer, and he chuckles. Grabs onto your thighs and pulls you toward his mouth. His tongue begins to relentlessly massage your clit and you cry out, a needy little whine that echoes through the room. 

“Mhm,” he hums against you in understanding, the vibrations of his voice sending a wave of pleasure coursing through your core. And then he pulls away, only momentarily, to spit on your pussy, the sound of it so obscene that your eyes roll back in response. He's back on you immediately, plunging two fingers into your soaked cunt and curling them against your g-spot as his tongue laves at you.

In less than a minute, you're coming hard, gushing all over his chin and his hand. He doesn't relent until you're gasping for him to stop, scratching at his shoulders in desperation. And then he's kissing you, the taste of your arousal on his mouth, and though satiated, you've never felt so starving.

“Need you,” you mumble against his lips, your hands roving restlessly across any part of him you can reach, grasping at fabric and skin.

He nibbles at your neck and you inhale the scent of him. Commit the smell of his sweat and musk to memory. This'll probably be the only time you have him, after all. You push that thought to the back of your mind. 

Sitting back on his haunches, Joel pulls off his shirt and undoes his belt. Shucks his jeans off. He hovers back over you with a newfound ferocity in his eyes. 

“Up,” he orders. Helps you sit. You pull your own shirt off and toss it aside. Unclasp your bra and let it fall from your body as Joel stares wolfishly at your exposed chest.

Your eyes, on the other hand, fly straight to his cock. It tents in his boxer, his bulge a bit intimidating, and you feel yourself beginning to salivate.

He chuckles above you, hand coming to rest placatingly on your waist.

“Think you can take it, baby?”

In truth, you're not entirely sure. But you're sure as hell not about to waste any more time wondering.

“Please just – fuck me.”

He shifts his weight. Props your ankle atop his back and rests with his elbows on either side of you. And then he grinds against you, the heft of his hard cock rubbing against your bare pussy.

“Patience,” he tuts. “We got nothin’ but time.”

[enwrites]

Summer Lovin' (l.hs) – Part One

pairing: ex childhood friend!heeseung x afab!reader 

warning: 18+ MDNI !! (not really proofread so sorry for mistakes)

genre/cw: smut, sexual tension, degradation, fingering, male masturbation, vulgar language, suppressed emotions, asshole!heeseung, very slight basketballplayer!heeseung here, crack, slow burn kinda, jealousy, angst, teen romance, slice of life, you cry a lot, heeseung is very annoying, lots of throwing up is mentioned, enha members (02z & sunoo), aespa members (karina & ningning), mentions of beomgyu txt

synopsis: you and heeseung were super close as kids. being the same age and your parents being best friends, you had no other choice but to be each other’s best friends as well. that was until heeseung’s family moved to another town causing a rift to get in between the both of you. never being able to fully recover from the past, what happens when they move back and old feelings start to emerge? you just knew this was going to be a long summer.

wc: 13.2k words

a/n: part one is officially here!! this was just mainly a build up for the story so i apologize if it's a little lacking. part two will def have more to it and juicier smut so pls bare with me! i still hope part one is still enjoyable <3 happy reading and again, all feedback is appreciated :) (+ lmk if you'd like to be added to my taglist for this fic or my perm!)

[ series m.list ] [ main m.list ] [ part two ]

You let out a sigh of content.

Having just graduated, your senior year finally came to an end. Your last summer before college has just started. Bittersweet feelings linger in your heart as you realize your highschool chapter is over. Scrolling through your camera roll, you reminisce on old memories and experiences. Giggling to yourself finding pictures you had thought you forgot about. Most captured you and your three best friends. Karina, Ningning, and Sunoo.

The four of you have done just about everything together and you couldn’t wait to get your summer rolling, especially as Sunoo wouldn’t be joining you guys in college just yet. You cursed at the world, he was just a year younger than you all. It wasn’t like you guys were going to be separated anyways, he was your next door neighbor, his family having moved in right after Heeseung’s family left. 

Heeseung… your mind starts to fill up with childhood memories. You couldn’t help but wonder how he was and what he was doing. You turn your head to the side. There on your nightstand sat a hello kitty framed picture of you and Heeseung at the town’s fair. You picked it up, holding it in your hands as you reminisced on your younger days. The two of you being shy of 12 years old, the summer before he left. The picture showcasing the two of you plastered with huge smiles eating funnel cake. You giggle a bit thinking about the events that occurred that day. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to one specific moment.

For some reason both of your parents allowed you two to ride the ferris wheel alone. Your face falls a bit as you start to remember. You wish things had never changed then maybe Heeseung would still be as close to you… maybe he would’ve kept his promise like he said.

“We’ll wait right here for you guys, okay?” Your mom says, ushering you both to the ferris wheel line. Excited bubbled inside the both of you as you two finally were getting to spend a ride alone without having a parent chaperone. Hearty laughs leave the both of you as you enter the ride, sitting across from one another. The sun was finally setting, leaving a sun kissed color in its path. You knew you’d remember this forever.

“The sky is so pretty Hee!” You excitedly said, taking the disposable camera your parents had bought you out of your little hello kitty purse, capturing the sky from your view. Heeseung watched you with so much adoration. He couldn’t help but smile at your actions, loving every second he spent with you. After getting your little picture, you put the camera back into your bag and turn to look at him, a smile permanently etched onto your face as well. 

“Yeah— just like you,” Heeseung bluntly says, eyes never leaving yours. Your face starts to heat up and you look away from him. You had always had a crush on Heeseung, everyone knew that. Your heart pounds against your chest, you want to throw up everywhere. What you didn’t realize was that everyone also knew how much Heeseung liked you. Your little puppy love could be seen and felt from miles away. “I like you Y/n,” he continues, breaking the tension.

“I like you too Hee–,” he cuts you off. “No I really like you Y/n,” he sternly said, leaning into you. Even being across from one another, you felt suffocated, the ferris wheel capsule was extremely small you noticed. You wanted to run away. this had to be a dream right? 

“I do too Hee,” you whispered back at him. The ride comes to a halt, you were at the very top. Your face red as can be, you were waiting for him to laugh saying this was all a joke. But he didn’t. He leans in even closer and that’s when you felt it. He took your first kiss. Your eyes went wide. For a moment you felt like you were floating amongst the stars. He pulls away, giggling at your reaction as a blush painted his face as well.

“We are going to be together forever Y/n, I promise and I'm going to marry you! And we’re going to have a big house and our very own hamster and even a cat! I know you really love cats but I really want a hamster!” he rambled holding your hands as his eyes never left yours again. Your heart was so full you felt like you were going to explode from joy. At that time, it was you and him against the world. 

Forever you had hoped. Small tears formed as you remember the day he moved. Forever was long gone. You wish the world had helped Heeseung keep his promise. The heart shattering memory played in your head. You have tried for years to forget. But can anyone really forget their first love?

“D-Do you really have to go Hee…,” you choked out as tears fell down your face. Your parents gave you both some time to say goodbye to one another as they packed the last of the Lee’s things into their moving truck. The tears kept falling and falling. He reached his hand to your face, wiping them away. His heart shattered that day, he didn’t think his parents were serious. But slowly things were being packed up until this very day and he knew he had to say goodbye eventually.

“I’m sorry Y/n… I have no choice… please don’t cry,” he says to you, your sobs intensify. It was his time to cry as well, tears fell from his eyes as he watched you, this was never a sight he enjoyed. 

“We’ll call all the time, okay? I’ll make sure we do, remember what I said Y/n! I’m going to marry you!” he choked out. “We’ll be like Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel Y/n… I promise, I’ll make sure my parents let us visit, okay?” he rambled on more. Pulling you into a tight hug, he let you cry on him as he wiped his tears away, holding you one last time. You didn’t know it was going to be the last time. You pull away, wiping away your snot and tears. 

“I-I have something for you,” you stuttered, feeling overwhelmed as you pull out a little charm and a tiny picture of the two of you. Before you could say anything, the two of you were cut off as Heeseung’s mother spoke up, letting you two know they had to leave in a few minutes. Your tears always came rushing back but you held them in. You hand him the picture and a charm. A small smile crept its way to his face. There in your hands was a tiny little hamster charm accompanied by a pocket sized photo of the two of you from the ferris wheel, giggling as he remembered how you guys attempted to try and take photos together with your little camera, hoping the pictures came out well.

“I have a matching one!” you said, pulling out another hamster charm except yours pink and his gray. He pulls you into another tight hug, never wanting it to end. 

“Don’t forget me Hee…,” you sadly uttered, his heart breaking right there and then. How could he forget you? 

“I’ll never forget you Y/n, I mean everything I said!” He pulled you away giving you a stern look. You give him a weak smile, your heart feeling like it was never going to feel better.

“Just promise me Hee,” you softly spoke, sticking your pinky out. “I promise Y/n,” he links his pinky with yours, the two of you pressing your thumbs together, solidifying it. And with that, the two of you make your way to his driveway, as your parents called for the both of you. Your families say their last goodbye, promising to keep in contact and to visit. With one last final hug goodbye, they make their way into the truck. Pulling out of what was once their driveway and onto the road, Heeseung waved goodbye from the window up until the truck was out of sight.

You broke down. Your parents consoling you as your never ending tears kept falling down your face. You never really knew what heartbreak really felt like but you knew for damn sure this had got to be it. There you were, inconsolable as your first love headed away for a new town.

You didn’t realize how badly you were really crying. Puddles of tears trickled all onto the frame you held. No promise was kept as the months went by and your contact slowly started to dwindle. The Lee's getting too busy with business trips and Heeseung making new friends and joining so many after school clubs. The Lee’s never visited since then. Your mother telling you they just had a lot on their plate and that they’d make time eventually. 

That was when the silence came.

Heeseung eventually stopped calling. The fantasy of that little house of yours being taken away by a tornado, forever ripped apart and shattered. The only time you heard or saw anything having to do with him was the year you got gifted your very first phone at the start of freshman year. Your mother had reached out to the Lee’s to give them your phone number. He added you on snapchat from his contacts, never once even starting a conversation with you. You never dared to attempt as well. Too many days had passed and you just couldn’t bring yourself to it. You were just glad to see he was alive and well, even if he never used the app. He never posted anything. Hell, he watched your stories for a week and abandoned the app, never once seeing him appear again.

Before you could get deeper into your thoughts and feelings, there was a knock at your bedroom door. 

“Y/n~ are you up yet? Your mom told me to come up here,” you heard a voice from outside your door speak. Sunoo. You sniffled and wiped all your tears away as best as you could, setting the little frame back to its rightful place beside your bed. “Y-yeah I’m up!” you yelled back, hoping you didn’t look as bad as you thought you did. Sunoo opens your door, taken aback by your red puffy face and eyes. 

“Were you thinking about him again?” He softly asked, joining you in your bed giving you a sad frown. He knew about Heeseung, you practically made his life a living hell the day his family moved in next door yelling nonsense about how he will never be Heeseung. He knew how much he meant to you and oftentimes he’d catch you looking at old photos with tear stained eyes. No matter how many boys you kissed and dated, you just never seemed to be able to move on. He was gonna fix that for you this summer. No more crying over Heeseung. Sunoo was on a mission now.

“Maybe…,” you weakly said followed by a sniffle. You were embarrassed to say the least. You hated how he had this effect on you. No matter how many boys you’ve been with, Heeseung was over there in the back of your mind. Even the time you lost your virginity to the school’s hottest boy Beomgyu, you couldn’t help but secretly wish it was always Heeseung. It was sickening and you knew he didn’t care for you anymore but for some reason you couldn't get him out of your head. You tried your best to suppress your feelings but you knew it was always going to be there. 

Sunoo groaned, throwing his head back, tired of seeing you this way. He hated seeing you sad and he especially hated seeing you hung up over some boy you liked as a kid. You were grown now and he was going to make you get out there and forget about Heeseung. 

“Y/n this is your last summer before college, we have got to get some new eye candy,” Sunoo says into your face, shaking you dramatically. “You have got to get over this dude Y/n! It’s been five years! YOU WERE A KID,” He exclaims, rolling his eyes. You sighed, hanging your head low. Sunoo had a point. You have got to try harder.

“You’re right…,” you let out. Putting his hand on his chest with a shocked expression plastered onto his face, he looked at you with his mouth hung open. No way you were finally agreeing with him on this matter.

“I’m gonna take this as a sign to completely come to the conclusion that we will never see each other again,” you glumly uttered. Yes your heart hurt but it was simply the truth. He ghosted you the year after he moved. You needed to get him out of your head once and for all. 

“Well… let’s start with that picture right there,” Sunoo points to the frame beside your bed. You frown. You shook your head a little, reaching over to the frame and just setting it faced down. Baby steps you told yourself. Sunoo lets out an exhausted sigh. Some things he just needed to be more patient with.

“I’ll let you pass with that one for now, now get your butt up and go get changed and ready! If you haven’t seen what Rina said in the chat, she wants to go downtown to shop and eat! So let’s get up! They’re waiting!” It was your turn to groan as he ripped your blanket off of you and dragged you out of your bed, literally.

You were ready to finally get rid of Heeseung. For good.

“Finally you’re here!” you heard a familiar voice shout as you walked into the designated brunch spot you frequented. You spotted your friend Karina waving for your attention next to Ningning. You and Sunoo make your way over, sitting across from the two. “Took you two long enough! I’m starving,” Ningning muttered, picking up the menu to flip through.

“Sorry! We could’ve come sooner but someone had a problem starting with Hee and ending with Seung,” Sunoo said to them. They both gave you a small eye roll. 

“Y/n you have got to get over him,” Karina said, looking down at the menu in her hand. “It’s been literal years babe,” she added.

“Yeah, I still can’t believe you turned down Beomgyu, he was literally in love with you after you both… you know,” Ningning trailed on. You cringe at the memory. Just after losing your virginity to him, Beomgyu started to get clingy real fast, constantly texting you every second of the day, walking you to all of your classes, wanting to be with you even after school, giving you zero time to yourself. Of course you were fine with those things as you were interested in him at first too. But every single day? You couldn’t take it any longer. It was exhausting the way he love-bombed you. 

“Yeah why did you ever end it with him anyways,” Sunoo spoke up, not remembering the details. 

“Because, he was creepy and weird and even if the sex was good, I felt suffocated, PLUS he said Hello Kitty was stupid…,” you said, reminding them, your cheeks turning red from embarrassment as you admitted the last part. No one was gonna hate Hello Kitty and get away with it.

“You are something else…,” Karina said back, shaking her head. They knew how much Hello Kitty meant to you and that was surely something they did not wanna mess with. Before anyone else could speak, the waitress came by to take your order. This was going to be a long day. You ordered a creme brûlée french toast and a caramel iced coffee. Heeseung loved french toast too, you remembered. 

Boy was this going to be a long summer for you.

“Anywaysss, this summer is project “hot girl summer” for miss Y/n over here,” Sunoo breaks the ice. You roll your eyes as a smile crept onto your face. You couldn’t help but feel immense happiness, thinking about how your friends cared for your well being. You felt so lucky that the world had brought the four of you together. They were your entire world. You probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for them. 

“Good because I wanna head to the mall and get some new clothes. Perfect timing! We have got to get you sexier things to wear!” Ningning exclaims excitedly. Something inside of you couldn’t help but get a bit excited. You were ready for a change and you were ready to get rid of Heeseung once and for all.

But you couldn’t help but feel as if something bad were going to happen.

You shake the thought off and you engage into whatever conversation your friends are having, laughing your heart away. You had to make this last summer count.  

After about what seems to be almost an hour and a half, you and your friends head to the mall. Thankfully, everything downtown was in walking distance so you didn’t have to worry about Sunoo having to find parking once more.

Walking into the mall, you guys entered the first clothing store you saw.

“First of all, we gotta get you some lingerie or something, you cannot keep wearing all of those Hello Kitty underwear you have,” Karina judgingly said. 

“Heyyy! They’re cute,” you offendly spit back with a pout. “Again, surprised Beomgyu even gave you some dick after seeing— OUCH!” Ningning yelps in pain as you smack her arm. She rubs the inflicted area, trying to soothe herself. 

“Yeah you cannot expect to get laid like that anymo— OW!” you smacked Sunoo next before he could say anymore. Without realizing, Karina was already filling up a little basket full of matching sets for you. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Were your Hello Kitty underwear really that bad? Your thoughts were disrupted by Sunoo as he called for your name, holding up a few mini skirts. 

“Try these on right now,” he said, pushing the skirts into your hands as Ningning followed suit with some tops and dresses. Already pushing you into the nearest dressing room, they demanded a fashion show. Meanwhile, Karina was hand picking the best lingerie she could find for you, making her way to the checkout, keeping her selections a surprise. Your friends were insane people.

Finally, from hours spent in the mall, you guys were ready to make your way home. The sun was finally setting as you four walked back into the direction of the restaurant your day had started at. With your hands full of bags, you swore you’re never going to spend this much money in one go again. “It was for a good cause,” you hear Ningning's earlier statement fill your mind. 

Was this really going to help? You couldn’t help but feel doubts within you as the thought of Heeseung came crawling back into your head.

The sunset was the same sunkissed colors of red and pink that day you shared at the fair. This was getting pathetic. He doesn’t care about you anymore. 

“Alright, we’re here, thank you guys for helping me with this case,” Sunoo spoke up, opening his trunk to put your bags away. Karina and Ningning smile at you, giggles escaping everyone’s mouths as you all take in the moment. It was days like this you all appreciated each other more.

“No worries, plus I cannot wait for you to see the lingerie, you’re gonna love them!” Karina excitedly squeals, pulling you into a tight hug. She leans into your ear whispering “send pics,” pulling away and giving you a sly wink. Hitting her shoulder, you shake your head with a toothy smile. 

You guys say your last goodbyes as Karina and Ningning make their way to Karina’s car, you and Sunoo pull away, making your way back home. Man was it convenient for him as he lived right next to you. 

“By the way, my mom just texted and asked if you wanted to stay for dinner tonight, she said there are surprise guests?” you asked puzzled. “What is Ice Spice going to be there or something?” Sunoo asks back laughing. You joined in. “Actually, she won’t tell me who it is so we’ll see… so are you down for dinner?” you asked again.

“Sorry not tonight, I already agreed to have dinner with my grandparents today,” Sunoo replied back. You were bummed as meeting new people always made you anxious. “But I’m free other than that so tomorrow we can do something again?” He asks. You nod your head telling him it was okay.

As you guys turn down onto your street, a boy on a bike passes by, catching your eye as he looks at you for a second, riding past Sunoo’s car. There was something oddly so familiar about him. 

“Woah, cute guy… never seen him before, hope we see him again, maybe he could give you some action,” Sunoo piped up as he pulled into his driveway. You smacked his shoulder earning a dramatic yelp from him.

“Yeah… let’s see,” you said back, rolling your eyes as Sunoo helped you gather your things, walking you across the lawn to your house. He gives you a little hug and tells you to tell your parents he said “hi” before making his way back to his house. You opened your door and was immediately met with laughter and some distinctly familiar voices. Yet your head couldn’t quite pinpoint it. The door opening catches the attention of your mother.

“Y/n? Is that you? Hurry in!” she shouts from the kitchen, sounding a bit impatient. “Hold on! I have to bring things upstairs real quick, I’ll be back down!” you shouted back and ran upstairs. Walking into your room, you threw all of your bags into your closet, making a mental note to put them all away later and to try on the things Karina picked out for you. Without a second thought, you ran back down, curious as to who your mother was talking about. 

Heading towards the kitchen, your steps come to a halt.

Were you hallucinating or were Mr. and Mrs. Lee standing right before you? 

“Oh my Y/n— you’ve gotten so grown up and beautiful, I may just cry! Come give me a hug!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, one hand covering her mouth to hold back tears and the other extended to pull you into a hug. “It’s been so long, how have you been Y/n?” Mr. Lee asks you, it was his turn to pull you into a hug. Still stunned, you thought this was a dream. This had to be some sick and twisted dream. 

“I’ve been okay, you know… just graduated and stuff,” you shyly said, suddenly getting anxious. Does this mean Heeseung was here too?

“Yes! We are so sorry for not staying in touch, oh how we wish so much to have stayed here but Mr. Lee’s new job required so much traveling!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, sadness filled her tone. 

“Oh no worries, life happens, it’s wonderful to see you guys, are you two just visiting?” you asked, taking a seat at the dining table, looking at them. They had visually aged but they were still the same sweet couple you remember them to be. 

“There’s something we have to tell you guys actually…,” Mrs. Lee trailed on, a sheepish smile on her face. She looked at her husband and looked back at us. “You tell them honey!” she excitedly demanded, seeming a bit giddy. Mr. Lee gives a gummy smile.

“We moved back into the neighborhood!” He shouts. Your parents both let out an “oh my god” as everyone was shockingly surprised. Your father getting excited that his cooking buddy was back and your mother getting excited now that she has someone other than you to gossip about the neighborhood. 

“Oh my god, that’s so fun! What made you guys come back?” you asked, your interest piqued as you genuinely wanted to know. It’s been five or so years since they last moved. 

“Well, Heeseung actually got into a college here, so we decided to move back and settle,” Mrs. Lee said. “Hmm what was the school name again?” she turns to her husband and asks.

“Decelis University honey, you’re always forgetting,” he laughs. 

Your heart fell to your ass. Your mouth hung open, a visible reaction of surprise shown on your face. No way this was real… you had to be dreaming. Before you can speak up, your father beats you to it.

“Oh? That’s where Y/n is going! That’s so exciting, you hear that Y/n? You and Heeseung can be friends again!” your father joyfully claimed. “Speaking of Heeseung, where is the boy?” your mother asks. 

“He should be here soon, he went on a bike ride before we left to see if anything changed around here. I’m sure he remembers where the house is!” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Bike… riding?

Oh no.

The realization comes crashing down onto you, you already have seen Heeseung. You wanted to throw up right there and then, this could not be happening right now. All of your emotions start rushing back to you as you excuse yourself to leave. Your mother sees your discomfort and follows you out of the kitchen a few minutes later. You make your way out heading towards your room, needing to sit down. Taking deep breaths in and out, your heart felt like it was going to collapse any moment. Your tears come flooding back the same they did this morning. Your breathing increases and you start to hyperventilate.

Was that really him? This can’t be happening, not right now.

Your heart felt as if someone just ripped it out of your chest and through it into oncoming traffic. No matter how much you wipe your tears away, they just keep coming back. Your head shoots up. There was a soft knock at your door. Your mother opens it, a weak smile showcasing on her face. She shuts the door softly, taking small steps towards you.

Your mother had always known how much you liked Heeseung. Your father always thought it was just mere puppy love, thinking you’d move on eventually. I mean who wouldn’t have? You two were only just kids. But your mother knew better. She always did.

The following days after the Lee's departure, she remembered having to hold you in her arms for hours as you hysterically cried thinking about the boy. The following months after, she knew you were still affected despite you telling her you were okay. She’d always occasionally catch you crying, hearing faint sounds of sniffles coming from your room. She always made sure to make your favorite desserts or meals to cheer you up, subtly letting you know she was always here for you. You knew you always worried her so you tried your best to suppress the feelings. But moms know best.

Sitting down on your bed next to you, she wraps her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a tight hug. You lean your head onto her shoulder as your tears continuously stream down your face. Leaning her chin on top of your head, she hums into your hair to calm you down just a bit. 

“Hey baby, it’s going to be okay, I promise… do you want me to tell the Lee’s an excuse so that they can go home? We don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready yet,” she softly said in an almost whisper-like tone as she rocked you a little from side to side. You shook your head. You knew you had to face him one way or another, you mind as well get it over with. 

“I-I’m okay…,” you hiccuped trailing off. She laughs a little. “Are you sure? I can really make an excu–,” cutting her off you chuckle, wiping your snot filled face and tears away. Your mother was always like this. She was always willing to do whatever it took to make you feel at ease. You couldn’t have been more thankful for having such a wonderful mother in your life. 

“Sunoo said it was “mission forget about Heeseung” summer, so that’s what I'm gonna do,” you let out, untangling yourself from your mother’s arm, sitting back up. You wipe off the non existent dust off your skirt, hoping your mother would understand. She lets out a heavy sigh.

“If this is what you want, you know I’m always going to support you and whatever you choose to do– but I will be checking on you even more than usual, got it?” she sternly ends, squinting her eyes at you as she gives you a harsh point almost scolding you a bit. You both break out into a fit of laughter. 

“Well, whenever you’re ready to come back down, the Lee’s will be joining us for dinner tonight– if that’s oka–,” you cut her off once more. “Mom, it's okay!” you dramatically sighed. “Heeseung is nothing to me now! I just threw him out the window in my mind,” you giggle picturing the scene. Your mother shakes her head, a huge smile plastered on her face listening to your silly thoughts.

“Whatever you say Y/n~ The boy should be here soon, so get cleaned up and make sure you look good! Show him what he’s been missing out on!” She excitedly lets out, giving you a kiss on the cheek. She heads to your door, but before leaving she turns her head back giving you a sly wink, then shutting the door. Her footsteps slowly disappear in sound as she goes down the stairs. You stand up, walking towards your vanity. Sitting on the seat in front of the mirror, you sighed heavily. 

You looked insane. Eyeliner everywhere and your hair a mess. You put on a smile as you get on to working on your makeup once again. Fixing your wings and making sure to add your touch of glitter, you finish off with a clear gloss on your lips. You brush your hair out, making sure it was neat enough and definitely didn’t look like you were just crying your heart out. Thankfully, your oh so dear best friend Kim Sunoo, bought you some eye drops not too long ago, making sure you never walk out with red eyes ever. He knew the amount you cried no matter how much you tried to defend yourself. Some day you knew it’d come in handy.

Well today was the day that’s for sure. 

You grab the eye drops, squeezing a few drops into both eyes, carefully blinking them in, hoping they wouldn’t mess your eyeliner up. You set it down, looking once more into the mirror for a final check. To your surprise, your face didn’t look as puffy as you thought it was. Thank you for the wonders of makeup. Satisfied with how you look, you walk to your closet, standing in front of your full length mirror beside it. You check yourself out, taking note that your outfit seemed cute enough already. 

You had on a sort of short light purple pleated skirt, paired with a simple black corset crop top and sheer thigh high stockings. Was this too much? Again, Sunoo did help you pick the outfit out earlier as, in his words, this makes you look “sexy yet cute” and will “attract all the single boys in our area.” Feeling the need to cover up just a tad bit more, you open your closet to grab an oversized, cropped, black cardigan to wear over your top. That should be enough. Giving yourself one last look, you walk out of your bedroom door, happily humming to yourself as you skip down the stairs, going back to where your parents and the Lee’s were. Catching the attention of both sets of parents, they all looked at you as you stood at the kitchen doorway. You give a tiny wave, an awkward smile on your face. You walk to the dining table, pulling a seat out to sit next to your mother. Mrs. Lee catches your attention.

“Oh Y/n sweetie, are you okay? Your mother says you weren’t feeling too well,” she concernedly asked you. A chuckle leaves your lips. 

“Don’t worry Mrs. Lee, I’m okay! Just something going on with my friends,” you lied, smiling back. Your parents definitely knew you were lying and Mrs. Lee couldn’t help but wonder if her own suspicions were true as well. Deep down, she knew how much your friendship with her own son meant to you. She also couldn’t help but feel guilty for how you both drifted apart, always thinking she should’ve convinced her husband to stay in this neighborhood a little harder. “Well, Heeseung should be here any minute now, food’s about done.”

You take a deep breath in, mentally preparing yourself. Maybe you weren’t ready for this. It was a little too late now though… plus you didn’t wanna ruin your parents excitement having their close friends back in town. You loved your parents and there was nothing more you wanted but to see them happy as well, no matter how much you were hurting inside. But man did you have a lot to tell your friends later. Your deep thoughts are soon broken as your dad speaks up.

“Oh Y/n! The Lee’s wanted to know if you wanted to come to their house this weekend for a barbeque party?” You nervously giggle as you weren’t really sure what to say. “You can invite your friends as well! Your parents have told us how close you were with the Kim’s son next door,” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Your palms start to clam up and your heart starts racing. 

“Y-Yeah… sure I’d be happy to go, I’ll let my friends know! Thank you,” you shakily let out. Both of the Lee’s nod as your mom gives a single happy clap, filled with immense joy. “Perfect! And you’ll make your famous tiramisu right?” your mother grins, nudging you with her elbow. Shaking your head with a grin, you couldn’t help but agree. “Ooh Y/n you make sweets now? You’ve always had such a big sweet tooth,” Mrs. Lee said. 

“Oh she sure does, wait till you try some of her macarons!” your mother exclaims dramatically, slamming her palm onto the table for a little smack sound effect. The two women get up filled with laughter, as they start to help prepare the table for dinner. “Do you guys need any help?” you asked, getting up from your seat.

The doorbell rings, catching everyone’s attention. “Y/n dear, could you grab the door? That should be Heeseung,” Mrs. Lee sweetly spoke up, hands filled with plates and utensils. “Uh… yeah… sure,” you sighed out, heart pounding against your chest. You definitely really weren’t ready for this. Again, that same bubbling feeling started to rise, you swear you were about to throw up right there all over the dinner that was being set onto the table. Surely this couldn’t be bad– right?

Making your way out the kitchen, you softly walked to the door. Your steps suddenly feel like you're walking on a floor full of hot lava. You oh so desperately wished you could just disappear into thin air right now. Please world, let you spontaneously combust with no trace of your well-being. As your body trembles a bit, you take in a deep breath as you shakily reach for the door, unlocking the lock and twisting the knob. That french toast from earlier fighting the urge to regurgitate right onto your floor. You pull the door open, confirming the sight you saw earlier from Sunoo’s car. 

Lee Heeseung in the flesh. 

Exactly how you saw him earlier in the day, clad in his gray hoodie and black jeans, bike leaning on the side of your porch. He tucks his phone back into his pocket, looking up to see who was appearing before him. The two of you lock eyes. He looks you up and down, taking in your appearance. He surely looked different, you thought. He no longer wore his glasses, his face was heavenly defined, and he grew to insane heights, towering over you. He had to be at least six foot tall you thought… yeah he was huge. You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach, you were sure that you were attracted to him. You swear you could just faint any minute now. Without a care or a single word being spoken, he pushes past you, making his way into your house and into your kitchen.

What the fuck? 

Taken aback, you close the front door, locking it behind you. A frown worn on your face as you try to take in what just happened. Following not too far behind him, you hear your parents excitedly yell his name. Appearing before you in the kitchen, you see him giving your parents both a hug, a small smile plastered onto his face. He wasn’t being serious right? It felt as if he was trying his hardest to ignore your presence. You held back your disappointment as tears desperately wanted to fall from your eyes. This effect he had on you was pathetic.

Now feeling offended as you watch them all engage in conversation, you make your way back to your seat at the dining table. You let out a huff, just waiting for this day to come to an end. Aside from his shitty attitude, you couldn’t help but think about the way he surely did grow into all of his features. Though he sported the same black hair he has always had, you couldn’t help but think how cute and fluffy it still looked, or the way his doe-like eyes still sparkled when you looked at them. 

Well to you they still sparkled.

You also couldn’t help but think about how it’d feel like to have him enclosing you against the wall, towering over you or picturing yourself sitting on his lap as he held you with his big hands, making out with you. You squeeze your thighs together, naughty things fill your mind as a blush crept onto your cheeks. 

What was wrong with you? Why were these thoughts filling up your mind? Before getting a little too flustered, you were brought back into reality as the chair across from you was being pulled out to be sat on. You look up, there Heeseung took a seat. He catches your eyes again, an uninterested look on his face. You simply look away. His aura felt suffocating. He was making you feel so small in your own home. It was sickening.

But man was the so fucking hot. Puberty had done him well that’s for sure. Your mothers sensed awkward tension between the two of you as they brought the food out to be set. Your fathers take their seats at both ends. Your mother takes a seat next to you and his mother next to him. Pouring yourself a glass of water from the pitcher your moms had prepared for the table, your throat feeling drier than ever, you gulp down nearly half of your cup. As you all settle in a bit, you start to dig into your meal. Silence fell upon the table as you all took a moment to eat a bit. 

The silence almost made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Mr. Lee clears his throat. “Heeseung, guess what?” he asks his son in a joyful tune. Heeseung cocks his eyebrow, looking at his father as he takes another bite of his food. Mr. Lee grins, looking at you and back at Heeseung. “Y/n is also going to Decelis University, isn’t that so fun?”

Your cheeks start to heat up as you awkwardly take another sip of your water. Heeseung looks at you. You could feel his stare burning into his skin. 

Why was he being like this?

“What are you studying?” he asked, tone seemingly uninterested as if he was forcing himself to speak with you. Yet that didn’t stop the butterflies from filling up in your stomach. You had missed his voice. His voice, now deeper than it was before, runs through body. Your body trembles just a tiny bit. To you he seemed bored yet that was not going to stop your heart from doing olympic flips inside of your chest. “Um, psychology…,” you trailed awkwardly, playing with the food on your plate. He nods, more immersed into his food than he was in you. 

Maybe people do change… maybe he really didn’t care for you anymore. You purse your lips into a flat line, frustrated at how things were going. Maybe you really did need to forget about him. 

“Well Heeseung just got his very own car! I’m sure he’d love to drive you to school as well,” Mrs. Lee spoke up, trying her best to defuse the tension. “Mom,” Heeseung whines, disappointed in his tone. She gives him a stern look. The younger boy sighs annoyedly. His mother always forced him to do things he never wanted to do in the first place. 

“I-It’s okay really, I’m fine taking the bus when the time comes, trust me, he doesn’t have to,” you shakily let out. Yet again, you felt as if you were going to throw up all over this table. “No he will Y/n, don’t worry, I’ll make sure of it,” Mrs. Lee smiles at you. Heeseung rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at his mother for offering his services. You awkwardly pick at your food, as the parents started up a completely new conversion amongst themselves.

Stealing peaks at Heeseung every so often, you wondered why he was being so weird. Did he not miss you this entire time? Were you really that forgettable to him? You frown to yourself, finishing what was left on your plate, not realizing how fast everyone had eaten. You get up from your seat, giving a helping hand as you start to clear the table for everyone and making your way to the sink. Finally, away from the view of the table, you set the dirty dishes down. 

You let out a deep shaky sigh. Tears slowly well up in your eyes once more. You tilt your head up towards the ceiling, trying your best to hold them back. You hated that you were such a big cry baby. You decide to start on the dishes, giving your mother a little helping hand, trying your hardest to think positive thoughts.

Back at the dining table away from your line of hearing, your mother speaks up, catching Heeseung’s attention. “Heeseung, you really have gotten so tall and handsome!” she expressed in awe. “Can’t you believe Y/n used to be a little taller than you back in the day? Now look at her! So short,” finishing her statement, she covers her mouth as she laughs, the other parents at the table join in. 

Heeseung simply chuckles back. You were very small, it was almost as if you barely grew in height the last he saw you. If Heeseung was being honest, you caught him off guard. You looked completely different. Your hair is longer, your curves grew in, and even the way you dressed surprised him. Heeseung didn’t mean to ignore you, he really didn’t. He was afraid he’d stutter and embarrass himself. 

You probably hated him anyway. So he made the conscious decision to make it seem like he just didn’t care. You surely had new friends now. But the thought of you, was driving him a little insane. That wasn’t the same Y/n, was it? He kept sneaking peeks at you like a kid having his very first crush. Well you actually were his very first love. For some reason, you were making him feel a bit hot and bothered. He needed to get away from you, he didn’t even think his parents would even move back to this place. He wanted to forget about you. There was no way you still felt the same after so many years. 

It was his fault anyways that you both stopped speaking. He couldn’t forgive himself and he figured it was best to keep you out of sight and out of mind, embarrassed and nervous thinking of the way he must’ve made you feel. It’s been so long, it wasn’t like you cared–  right?

Seeing you today just made him want to jump all over you. The nerve of you to wear that little skirt… Did you know his favorite color was purple? The moment he saw you, impure thoughts filled his mind. Thoughts and images in his head of you, bent over the table with your little skirt, all for him. He knew it was you he saw in that car with that boy.

Who the hell was that guy anyways? There was no way you wanted anything to do with him… you had already replaced him. For all he knew, that guy could’ve been your boyfriend. He needed to put an end to these thoughts. The two of you were no longer friends and here he was thinking about you in compromising ways. He felt like a creep. He felt himself getting a little too excited in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you were the bigger person and would look past his nonsense and maybe talk to him. He missed you, he always has.

But he was the one that ghosted you and he couldn’t forgive himself for what he ruined and he knew there was no hope of rekindling what was once there. It seemed like you had a boyfriend anyways and the thought of that just sours his mood. For some reason, it just made him all the angrier. He wanted to just kiss you in front of everyone to let the world know you were his girl first to begin with. Deep in thought, he hadn’t realized you were already back until he saw his empty dinner plate being carried away by his mother. 

You sat back across from him. He locks his eyes onto you, taking the way you looked in once more. Man did he want to take you right there and then. He felt so filthy thinking about you in such a way surrounded by not only his parents, but yours as well. He shifts a bit in his seat, having to keep in mind that you were already taken. He was always selfish thinking you’d wait for him. To make himself feel worse, the thought of you doing lewd actions to anyone but him, made him feel the need to punch holes through walls. 

Why was he so upset? He couldn’t even bring himself to speak to you normally anyways. 

You felt heavy eyes on you as you sat in your seat, looking up from your lap, your eyes meet Heeseung’s. This was happening way too much for your liking. You look away and back onto your lap, fiddling your fingers together, nervous as to what he was thinking. He looked scary. Your breathing still a bit shaky, you were just counting down the minutes till the Lee’s left. But you knew they’d be here awhile, that was typical of both your families as they loved to linger and talk about nonsense. Your legs shaking nervously, you let out a deep sign, your anxiety getting worse as the time flies by. “Why don’t you show Heeseung to your room and catch up a bit? I’m sure you guys would love to talk amongst yourselves.”

You spin your head at the speed of light to where the voice was coming from. Your father takes a sip of his drink. “Go on, we’ll give you two some space,” he adds on. Shocked, you looked at your mother, hoping she’d save you, but she gave you a little shrug shaking her head. You knew your dad never took your feelings for Heeseung seriously. Taking a mental note to have a stern talk with him later, you stand up from your seat, legs wobbling. “Uh… sure– if it’s okay with you of course,” you hastily spit out, hoping he’d turn you down. 

To your surprise, he stood up from his seat, making his way towards your side. What the fuck was going on. Was he not just ignoring you not too long ago? Your heart pounding against your ribcage, you scurry your way out of the kitchen, Heeseung follows behind.

Heeseung knew where your bedroom was already, your house was still the same aside from minor renovations from the past years. As you lead the way to your room, he couldn’t help but trail his eyes down to your bottom. The thigh highs on your legs not making anything better for what he was going through at the moment either. Walking up the stairs, his eyes catch a glimpse of your underwear… Hello Kitty underwear? He smirked. Maybe some things about you never changed and boy was he right.

When you open the door to your room, he was met with Sanrio galore. Hello Kitty plushies littered your room followed by every possible character that franchise had a hold of. Hell, your bedsheets and bed were splattered with just as much. 

You walked in and sat on your bed, the nerve wracking anxiety eating away at you. You swear you could just jump out of your window right now to escape this. Too deep into your thoughts, you didn’t realize the fact that he closed the door behind him. You were definitely going to throw up sooner or later. 

The tension was awkward and your heart was heavy. What were you supposed to say? 

Lee Heeseung was in your room and he looked extremely hot. 

He takes in your room, it looks completely different. You had taken time to really change things. He scans around and a certain wall catches his eye. There on the wall, littered with many pictures of you and your friends. There he saw you and that same guy he saw you with earlier in so many of the pictures. Why was he always there? It pissed Heeseung off to no end. Old pictures of the two of you nowhere in sight. He was upset to say the least. Did you really hate him that much? His temper starts to get short. What he said next shocked the both of you. 

“Did you really have to dress like a slut for dinner?” he spits, catching even himself off guard. Your head shoots at him, a disgusted expression lay on your face. “What the hell did you just say to me?” You stood up, crossing your arms as you looked at him.

This was not the Heeseung you knew, that's for sure. Your feelings for him were thrown out the window and forgotten. He was being thrown out the window in your head once again. “Did I stutter?” he cocks his eyebrow at you as your face displays offense.

“What the hell is your problem Heeseung,” you bite back, your temper being shortened. You cannot believe this was the same guy you were crying over the entire day. He laughs at your face. “What’s yours? I’m not the one having my ass and tits hanging out for the whole world to see,” he nonchalantly says. Oh he was done for. “You sure have changed.”

He was far too gone to even call whatever he just did some sick joke and make up with you. To him, you looked so cute being all angry at him, it made him a little excited. He wondered how long he could keep this up. Though, he was fighting the urge to just grab you and kiss you right there. But you had a boyfriend, he couldn’t do that. 

You angrily stomp towards him, cornering him against the wall. Harshly jabbing his chest with your finger, you looked up at him, a smug smile plastered onto his face. You wanted to punch his pretty face in. 

“You are so fucking annoying, what do you treat every girl you see this way? Dick too small to get any action, you have to take it out on women?” you spit out at him, venom lacing your voice. One thing you were not going to let men get away with was the way they spoke about women. The sweet Heeseung you once knew, instantly exploding into little pieces in your mind. 

He chuckles. “I’ll have you know, I have a huge dick and probably get more action than you– Ms. Hello Kitty panties,” he smirks at you as you gasped. “You fucking creep!” a loud sound erupted into the room.

You had just smacked him in the face. Heeseung knew he had that coming. You couldn’t believe this was your Heeseung. Someone definitely replaced the Heeseung you knew with a terrible good for nothing clone.

But why were you still so attracted to him?

Heeseung rubs the side of his face that was inflicted. “Can’t handle the truth can you, can’t believe your little boyfriend lets you out looking like that,” he said, rolling his eyes at you. Puzzled, you furrowed your brows together trying to figure out what he meant. Boy… friend? Then it hits you.

Sunoo. You couldn’t believe what you just heard. Heeseung thinks Sunoo is your boyfriend. Forgetting all that just occurred, you pull back and let out the loudest laugh in his face, clutching your stomach. You couldn’t believe he thought Sunoo was your boyfriend. “You really are so stupid,” you said, wiping a tear away. 

Heeseung’s face heats up a bit as he pouts, what could’ve possibly been so funny. “Yeah, my “boyfriend” let’s me out like this, because he’s not actually my boyfriend,” you said with finger quotes on the word boyfriend. Why was he so worked up over Sunoo anyways? 

“Then who is he to you, he’s in all of your pictures,” he crosses his arms at you. You raise an eyebrow, confused as to why he was pressing. “Um, that’s my best friend, he lives in your old house…,” you trailed, feeling a bit awkward bringing up the fact that his old place of residence was now occupied by some boy he knows nothing about.

Heeseung’s eye twitches just a bit, a weird feeling bubbles within him. So you did replace him and better yet, replace him with another boy that lives in his old home. He felt as if you just kicked him in the face. 

“Was I nothing to you? What are you gonna marry him now? I look better anyways,” he disgustingly lets out at you. Was he jealous? You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You were the one that ghosted me, let’s not forget that now,” you said back sternly. The way his eyes darkened at you, made your knees a bit weak. He strides towards you, causing you to walk backwards, the back of your legs hitting your bed as you stumble on, Heeseung towering over you.

Voice dropping as he looked down at you on your bed, he spoke up. “It’s not like it mattered anyways, seems like you were out here dressed like a whore, leading every boy on.” Your eyes meet his, he leans down, you can feel his breath on your face. 

“Bet you wanted me to look at you anyways, I bet you like the attention,” he whispers in your ear. Tingles run through your entire body. Without thought, you squeezed your thighs together to feel a little friction. You were getting turned on. He lingers just a little as he reaches his hand up to hold your chin, making sure you looked him in the eyes. Your breathing increases as you start to realize how close he was to you. This had to be a dream. He inches his face closer to yours, the scent of your strawberry like perfume fills his nose. You have always smelt sweet. It was intoxicating to him. You close your eyes, hoping this wasn’t real. He looks down at your lips before taking a slight breath in. 

His lips landed onto yours. Your eyes widened, not believing this was happening. You quickly close them again, giving into the kiss. He smirks against your lips, deepening the kiss, his hand still holding your face up. He pulls away, pushing you down. You scoot up a bit, as he climbs onto your bed, now hovering over you.

You felt so small under him. Your eyes fluttered as he stared down at you. A wave of embarrassment wash over you as you bring your arm up to cover your face. He pulls your arm away, eyes hungry for you. He leans back down, pulling you into another heated kiss as he puts his knee in between your legs, opening them slightly. The friction catching you off guard, you let out a small moan. His dick twitches, you start to grind a little on his leg. He moves his hand down to caress your side, bringing it up to give your boob a squeeze over your shirt.

You gasped, taken by surprise. He takes the chance to stick his tongue into your mouth, your panties growing wetter by the minute. Mission “forget about Heeseung” was no longer there. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in. Everything felt so hot and fuzzy, you had long forgotten the things he had said earlier. Heeseung pulls away, moving his mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses. You squirm under him, trying your hardest to keep quiet. He chuckles.

“We just met again after so long, and you’re really letting me do this to you right now while our parents are downstairs?” he spoke against you, he trails his hand down and in between your legs. “You aren’t really helping your case of being a little slut now– are you?” 

Your face turns red, unable to speak. He was right, you guys had barely said anything to each other and here you are letting him touch you after all the nasty things he said earlier. It was Lee Heeseung after all. The one and only boy who managed to make you feel every and all emotions in this world. Your body easily gave in as if this was what it's been waiting for. 

His fingers stroke the outside of your panties, you were already soaked. He rubs his finger up and down your panties, feeling the dampness as he reaches his other hand up to your corset top, conveniently having a zipper on the front, he unzips your top, your boobs spilling out. “No bra? You really are just a slut.”

At this point, he was painfully hard. He gropes one of your breasts as he leans down, taking the other into your mouth. He sucks on your nipple as he rubs circles on your clit, still clothed by your panties. You reach your hand over your mouth, covering it as your moans gradually get louder. The room felt hot and heavy, you couldn’t help yourself as you moaned his name, pleasure overfilled your body.

“H-Heeseung… Hee… please…,” you softly cried out. He moans into your breast, pushing your panty to the side, he feels your wetness in its entirety. His fingers slide up and down your slit as he takes his mouth off of your nipple, eyes on you. 

Fuck, you looked too hot. He couldn’t believe he was doing these things to you right now. He pulls you into another sloppy kiss. He inserts his finger into your hole, a moan erupting out of you as he starts to thrust his hand. You were so wet and he needed to take you right now. The thought of you both potentially getting caught as your parents were just downstairs, turned him on even more. He pulls away, taking your fucked out expression in. He adds in another finger.

“Oh my god,” you moaned, blushing as you caught his eye. Lust overtook him as he increased the pace of his hand, pumping his fingers in and out of you as if his life depended on it. He curled his fingers within you, earning a loud squeal from you. He smirks. 

“Y/n, you gotta keep your voice down, you don’t want your parents coming up here seeing their sweet little daughter like this, now do you?” he menacingly asked. Your cute little moans were enough to almost make him burst all over you. His pants were getting too tight for his liking. He needed to have you. 

You were lost and flustered. His fingers so deep into you, you felt your climax was close. “Faster… please H-Hee…,” you moan, stuttering from the sensation. “S-So c-close, I’m so close.”

With his free hand, he reaches up, grabbing your face. “Look at me while you cum Y/n, I need to see your fucked out face,” his said, his deep voice making you clench around his fingers. Your moans start to increase again, he puts his hand over your mouth, trying to suppress the volume. With one more pump, you cream all over his fingers, screams of his name muffled against his hand as he rides out your high with his fingers. He takes his hand off, allowing you to finally breathe and catch your breath. Eyes hazy as you pant. He pulls his fingers out of you, taking them up to his mouth, sucking on his own fingers and tasting your cum. 

“Fuck, you taste so good Y/n,” he said, leaning down kissing you, letting you have a taste of yourself. Pulling back, he leans his forehead on yours, taking in what he just did with you. Silence filled the room, your cheeks heated up as you looked away from him. Your heart wanted to jump out of your chest. 

You just let Lee Heeseung finger you. 

And you liked it. 

Before you both could even muster up words to say, yells of Heeseung’s name were heard from downstairs. He stands up quickly, taking in the way you were on your bed one last time. Man did he love that skirt on you. He adjusts his hoodie, pulling it down more to cover his raging boner. Without a word, he takes his leave, leaving you there on your bed. Tits out, panties filled with your own cum, skirt hiked up, and flustered. You hastily sit up, zipping your top back up. Like the entire day, the feeling of needing to throw up reemerges. You reach your own hand down, feeling the wetness still there. This definitely was not a dream. Heeseung just fingered you.

Lee Heeseung was here and he just fingered you.

You grab your pillow, groaning as you slam your head repeatedly down onto it. 

How the hell did you end up here?

Heeseung’s heart was beating so fast. He ran down your stairs, almost running into his own mother as she was putting her shoes on by the door. 

“Woah, slow down son,” she laughs. He mutters a sorry as he turns to bid your parents a goodbye. He makes his way out of your house needing a breath of fresh air, still painfully hard. He picks up his bike from the side of your porch and makes his way off of your driveway and down the road, leaving his parents there puzzled as to why he was in such a hurry. He needed to get home now.

Thankfully, his house wasn’t too far from yours, just being down the street by the basketball court. He threw his bike onto his lawn as he hurriedly tried to fish his house keys out of his pocket. Opening the door, he quickly shuts it behind him as he runs up the stairs and to his room. He locks the door. He needed to let one out while the image of you was fresh in his mind.

Heeseung strips himself of his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. He jumps into his bed, laying his head onto his pillow, palming himself through his boxers. Before getting started, he hears his parents enter the home. He waits until they make their way into their room, settling in for the night. After a bit of time had passed, he deemed it safe enough to finally start his session. He palms himself once more, squeezing his length through his boxers. 

He couldn’t believe you actually let him finger you. He takes the hand he used to finger you with, bringing his fingers up to his nose, taking a whiff of what was there of your essence. His dick twitched. You smelled delicious. Not being able to take it any longer, he pulls his boxers down, his cock slapping down onto his abdomen, pre cum already leaking from his tip. He spits into his hand, carefully reaching down to his cock, giving it a stroke.

Thoughts of you fill his mind. Images of what just happened flipped through his head like a slideshow. He strokes up and down, remembering the way your tits looked amazing. Your moans replay over and over again. He gives his tip a squeeze and continues on stroking his cock to you. His eyes remain closed as he tries his hardest to keep you there. He strokes hard and fast as he can almost still hear you moaning his name over and over again. 

He groans, wishing you were here to help him out. He thinks about how warm and wet your mouth would feel around him. He wishes so badly he got to feel your pussy around his cock, squeezing him the way you suffocated his fingers within you. 

“Fuck… Y/n,” he moans to himself, speed increasing. That damn skirt of yours. Next time he knew he had to have you bent over the nearest surface, pumping his cock deep into your pussy. If there was even a next time.

You were driving him insane. His orgasm getting closer and closer, he gives a few more pumps, ropes of his own cum spilling all over his chest as he lets out curses of your name. He laid there, panting and trying to catch his breath. 

This summer was going to be the death of him. 

The next day rolls around a little too fast for your liking. The events of last night, replaying in your head over and over again. You wanted to go to the nearest bridge and jump off. 

The boy you have been crying over for years was just here… in your house… and he fingered you. 

Your anxiety has been eating away at you since the moment you woke up. Your friends were on their way to your house, any minute now. Thankfully, Sunoo slept over his grandparents and agreed to go pick up the two girls before making his way here. 

After Heeseung had left last night, you immediately looked for your phone, opening up your messages to tell them what just happened. Thinking about it makes you want to run away forever.

Y/n sent a message to group “fuck heeseung!”

Y/n: guys … something just happened…

Karina: what’s up babe?

Sunoo: u good?

Ningning: ???

Y/n: uhhhhhhhh……

Sunoo: bitch if u dont just spit it out! 😒

Y/n: heeseung just fingered me in my room

Sunoo: WTF

Karina: WTF

Ningning: WTF

Ningning: this bitch done took the gc name srsly my gawdddd 😭

Having sent that text, you immediately threw your phone, ignoring the spam texts and calls your friends were sending your way. You could not handle your emotions as you went to get ready to sleep only to wake up to threats from your friends telling you they’re breaking into your house tomorrow and making you spill the tea. You lay there on your bed, covering your face with your hands. One of these days you were really going to throw up all over the place.

Your thoughts were soon broken as you heard loud knocks coming from downstairs. You hear muffles of your friends greeting your mother as she opens the door for her and then asking where you were. You wish you could just cast a spell like Alex Russo and disappear yourself out of here. Rushed footsteps head their way to you and your door was thrown open. You uncover your face and quickly sit up, patting your lap as your friends stare back at you, their arms crossed. 

“Heyyyyyyy…,” you said, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood, tucking your hair behind your ears, giving them a toothy exaggerated smile. This is the part where you wish you could spontaneously combust. Karina closes your door as Sunoo walks to sit on the bed with you and Ningning occupies the beanbag on your floor. Karina sits on the ground next to her. All eyes on you.

“So… how are you guys,” you sheepishly said, rubbing the back of your neck. They all roll their eyes simultaneously growing impatient. 

“How are we? Bitch how are you?!” Karina shouts at you. You pick up the Hello Kitty squish next to you, slamming your face into it and groaning. “If you don’t hurry and get to the detai–,” you cut her off.

“I will! Okay! So like you see…,” they inch closer towards you, not wanting to miss a single detail as mission “forget about Heeseung” was now compromised. You sighed, taking in a deep breath. It was now or never. 

“Okay so you see what had happened was… Heeseung’sfamilyhadmovedbacktotheneighborhoodandtheycameoverand–,” you were interrupted. “Oh my god Y/n slow the hell down, you know I can’t think!” Ningning exclaims, annoyed at your tactics.

“Okay.. okay… so… Heeseung’s family had moved back to the neighborhood–,”

“So they were the “special guest” your mom had told you about?” Sunoo interjected. You nod. “Okay, carry on.”

“Right so, since his family had moved back… that means he’s back… and–,”

“Now how did this get to him fingering you?” Karina speaks up. 

“I’m getting there woman! Okay so–,” 

“Damn Sunoo you missed out on seeing this motherfucker,” Ningning interrupts once more. “Right? Like I was just thinki–,” Now you were the one to cut Sunoo off. “Are ya’ll going to let me finish my story or what?” you annoyedly sighed. The two mumble small “sorry’s” as they allow you to continue. 

“Alright so, my parents invited them to stay for dinner, Heeseung wasn’t there yet and turns out he was the guy me and Noo saw riding his bike down our road,” you start off, palms getting sweaty. “THAT WAS HIM?” Sunoo shouts back at you, hand covering his mouth. “He was so cute.”

“Anyways,” you continued. “He shows up, kinda an asshole now, he practically ignored me all dinner until my parents forced me to bring him to my room and then things got a little… you know… heated… and he uhh… you know, did what he did to me,” you shyly finished as all the blood within you started to rush to the apples of your cheeks. You looked down onto your lap. “He was really mean… but he was so hot… I’m not sure what happened but he went from calling me a slut, to getting weird over thinking Noo was my boyfriend, me yelling at him, and then BAM! His fingers made their way in me I guess…,” you finished off. You look up, catching your friends' confused stares. Sunoo bursts into a fit of laughter.

“He thought I was your boyfriend? Y/n he was so jealous, like seriously, he finger fucked you because he was jealous you were around another boy!” Sunoo says through his laughter. You smack him with your squish, throwing punches at him after. “Well yeah and you’re sitting right where it happened,” you yelled at him. He gagged, disgusted he pushed you off of him and took a seat on the floor next to the two girls. He shook his whole body, cringing.

“Wait a minute, he called you a slut? Like in a “you’re so hot you belong to me” type of way or “you’re a slut and you need to stop looking like how you look” way?” Karina asks, genuinely concerned over the fact that this dude potentially hurt your feelings. You scratch your head. 

“Um… the second one…,” you trailed. Karina gets a bit heated. Her feelings towards this dude grow sour as the seconds pass. She hated him already. She lets out a heavy sigh. “You can’t be serious and you let him touch you after all of this?” She says with a disgusted tone paired with an equally expressive disgusted face. “When I get my hands on this guy, I’m gon–,” you cut her off.

“Rina, seriously it’s okay… everything just happened so fast, I’m not really sure how to feel but I also didn’t hate it,” you painfully admitted. The shame inside of you spilling out of your pores as you try to figure out a way to justify what you did. There was no justification. This was all way too complicated. 

“Y/n… this is the guy you have liked forever… and he ghosted you… if it were me, i would’ve been beating the shit out of him and not letting him put some fingers up my cooch,” Ningning spoke up, shrugging her shoulders. 

“Well I did slap him across his face,” you nonchalantly throw out. “You did what?” Sunoo said, raising an eyebrow genuinely interested. You roll your eyes at him. 

“So… did you even get his number to like… you know talk about all of… this,” Karina asked. She just wanted the best for you but you just alway seem to dig yourself into the biggest holes known to man. You let out a chuckle.

“About that… no…,” you muttered out. Karina picks up the nearest plush she saw that was on your floor and throws it at your head. “You are so stupid sometimes, you know that right Y/n?” she tiredly said. If she gets the chance to ever see Heeseung, she made a mental note to have a long talk with him. He could not get away with these shenanigans, she did not care how much he meant to you. 

“Oh yeah… and he’s going to be attending Decelis–,” this time it was Ningning throwing a plush at you, interrupting your nonsense. “It just keeps getting better and better!” Sunoo sarcastically lets out.

Sighing you felt exhausted, mentally and physically. This whole situation makes you want to pull your hair out of your head. But before forgetting, the thought of the barbeque comes to your mind. “Also, his family is hosting a BBQ this weekend, they said I could invite you guys– but only if you were interested!” you hurriedly finished the last part, worried they were going to throw anything else at you. Ningning and Sunoo shoot up from their seats. 

“Def def def going! If he’s as cute as y’all make him to be, he’s bound to have even cuter friends to invite,” Ningning giggles, fantasizing about the potential boys Heeseung could be inviting. “Maybe they’re gonna be going to DU too~,” the bubbly girl sings. You all roll your eyes at her. She has always been a hopeless romantic.

“I’m just nosy and I’d love to see how this all plays out,” Sunoo lets out, Ningning agreeing with him also. You all turned to Karina, she seemed indifferent.

“So Rina bear… do you want to come too? I’m making my tiramisu for the occasion~,” her face lights up, you can see the twinkle in her eyes. “Okay, but… I can’t promise i”ll behave,” she said, crossing her arms, sticking her tongue out at you. You jump up with joy, jumping onto them and onto the floor, pulling them all into a tight group hug.

“I love you guys so much, now let’s go get ice cream or something, I'm craving something sweet!” You excitedly exclaim. Sunoo snickers. “Yeah Heeseung already gave you something sweet last nigh–OW!” you smack the back of his head before he could even finish his sentence. With that, you all get up, making your way outside and to Sunoo’s car. 

“Alright, where are we heading?” Sunoo asks you guys. Ningning speaks up from the backseat. “Ooh, to that taiyaki ice cream place, you know, the one past the basketball court down there!” Everyone agrees as Sunoo pulls out of his driveway. 

Unbeknownst to all of you, Heeseung has been at the basketball court since the morning, playing some rounds with his friends. As Sunoo drives down the road, he suddenly lets out a gasp, slowing his car down.

“OH EM GEE… Y/n is that Heeseung?” He asked, pointing his finger towards the basketball court. “Oh em gee, WHERE?” Ningning yells, rolling her window down, Sunoo does the same. 

There Heeseung was, in a simple baggy white tee and gray sweatpants. “Wow Y/n… he’s so hot,” Ningning gasps. “And so are his friends! If those are the ones going to the BBQ, I call dibs on the blond one, he looks like a puppy,” she finishes. 

“Fuck are they looking at us?” Karina asked, her eyes bulging out of her face. Your face heats up, there Heeseung was, stopped in his tracks, eyebrow cocked as he makes eye contact with you through Sunoo’s car. You wanted to jump out of the car and run away. All of his friends were staring back, looking to see what had caught their friend’s eye. 

Of course they were, Sunoo and Ningning were not helping the situation. Who wouldn’t notice a bright red car, slowly driving down a quiet street as some weirdos stare at them from inside. To your surprise, Ningning catches the attention of the blond one, giggling as she winked, blowing him a kiss, he winks back at her. Karina pulls her back from the window, smacking her upside her head as she rolls the window back up. 

Sunken down onto your seat, the embarrassment was eating away at you as you oh so desperately wanted to throw up all over the interior of Sunoo’s car. You groan, covering your face, your friends really had to make things even weirder for you. Sunoo steps on the gas as he tries to get you guys out of this awkward situation ASAP. He couldn’t help but laugh at the way you looked in the passenger seat next to him. You ignore him, pulling your phone out to scroll through whatever social media app your finger clicked first. An instagram notification catches your eye.

“heesoswag1015” wants to send you a message!

You click on the notification, leading you to your requests box. Your heart is still racing, you click the accept button. The color drains from your face.

heesoswag1015: stalker much?

heesoswag1015: anyways my friend jake told me to tell u that your friend is really hot

heesoswag1015: and that you’re really fucking weird 

You were definitely not looking forward to the weekend.

© enwrites // tumblr

[goldenbuckyyy]

MADE FOR LOVIN’ YOU

Summary: After catching your boyfriend cheating on you, you find an escape with your old best friend.

Pairings: Eddie Munson x fem!Reader, Jason Carver x fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.2kish

Warnings: Cheating (readers partner on reader), Angst, readers feelings are hurt, crying. SMUT (!!) slight dry humping, making out, vaginal fingering, raw sex, unprotected sex (!!!), multiple orgasms, dirty talk, cream pie, exhibitionism kink, seniors in high school, season 4 vibes, Eddie didn’t fail in this world. Anything else? Let me know!!

A/N: I got this request (idk why I can’t tag the person, but it’s @lilsp00nvstheworld) and holy shit!! I totally fell in love with it and then this happened!!! Song inspo: “I was made for lovin’ you” by KISS

All my mistakes are my own. Please do not repost or translate my fics on any other site nor this one.

I appreciate any likes, reblogs, messages, and interactions. Please message me your thoughts!!! It fuels me!

Masterlist

Eddie Munson hated Jason Carver. 

Absolutely hated him. 

He fucked hated his guts. The stupid blonde annoyed him to no fucking end. 

He hated the way he walked. The way he talked. The way he acted as if he was king of the school. He hated the way he acted superior because he was good at basketball. It was infuriating. 

He hated the way he was the golden boy of the school. 

Mr. Popular. 

He hated how just hearing his voice made Eddie’s blood boil. It made his insides turn. Made him want to vomit. Made him clench his fists in rage. 

He especially hated how he had stolen his best friend away from him. 

His best friend, Y/N. 

His best friend in the entire world. Aside from his hellfire club. You were always his number one. Ever since the third grade. 

But then, you both entered high school and you became a cheerleader. 

You had managed to balance both hellfire club and being a cheerleader. But then at the end of freshman year, you started dating fucking Jason Carver. 

And you chose him. 

You chose that ugly sack of shit. 

Eddie knows it wasn’t your decision. He knows Jason was the type of guy to give you an ultimatum. “Either you leave the hellfire club or I leave you” type of guy. 

So, you left the club. You couldn’t even meet Eddie’s eyes when you had told him on the day before summer break that freshman year. Eddie was distraught. He couldn’t believe it. He remembers clutching onto your hand, begging you to explain, but you simply tugged your hand away and ran to Jason’s side. 

Eddie remembers the smirk Jason gave him when you weren’t looking. That’s the day that fueled the hatred Eddie had against him. 

He tried endlessly that summer to talk to you again. But every single time he went to your house, you either weren’t there or you told your mom to tell her you didn’t feel well. The look of sympathy your mom gave him never stopped. 

Soon enough… he stopped trying. 

Now, almost three years later, you guys are seniors. In your last year of high school. 

And you’re still dating Jason Carver. Head cheerleader. The captain of the cheer squad. Best friends with Chrissy Cunningham. Miss popular. The most beautiful girl in school. Everyone loved you and without shame. 

You’re beautiful, kind, funny, caring, and a total babe. A real sweetheart. And Eddie missed you. Missed you every single day. 

He also thinks… 

Eddie thinks a part of him still loves you. Eddie thinks he’s always loved you a bit. Ever since you guys became best friends. But.. you were always out of his league. Even as stupid young kids. So, he never tried to make a move. 

And now, he hasn’t spoken to you since that day in freshman year. Not with lack of trying on his part. But he figured you were happy. Who was he to try and stop that? 

So, he stood in the background and let you be happy. 

He watched you prance around the hallways in your tiny green cheer uniform with Jason’s letterman jacket covering your upper body and his arm wrapped around your waist tightly. Never letting up. He’d kiss you sloppily against the lockers every chance he got and he’d even run his fingers in the inside of your thighs.

You’d instantly close your thighs, blushing furiously, telling him to stop, and he’d only try to keep going. 

It always made Eddie furious to see this, but he never intervened. You had been with Jason for over three years already. 

You knew him better than Eddie did. 

Now, Eddie was at a celebratory party for the basketball team winning the playoff game. Eddie didn’t really mind coming to parties. He enjoyed the free beer. He enjoyed providing his drugs to pretty girls and handsome guys. Sometimes… sometimes if the night felt right, he’d end up in bed next to someone.

But tonight was a little different. 

Because you were here, too. 

Usually you and Eddie partied with two completely different crowds. But since it was the basketball team that was being celebrated, surprisingly the two groups merged together into one big party. 

So there he was. 

Sipping on his beer, huddled into a corner, laughing with his friends, and he sees you from across the room. 

It’s almost like a magnet is attached to you by the way his eyes always find you in a crowded room. 

You’re looking around, peering over different shoulders, a confused look etched on your pretty face, and you look amazing tonight. 

Eddie bites his bottom lip as he zones out from the group conversation to admire you. 

Your outfit is simple, but Eddie still thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the room. You’re wearing a pair of high waisted jean shorts, a striped brown with yellow oversized sweater, and a pair of white chucks. Your hair is still in the teased updo from the basketball game and you look flawless. You’re still wearing the makeup from the game and your lips are glossy. What a beauty. 

Eddie watches you trying to peer over the groups of people. Probably searching for Jason. 

He hears you ask another cheerleader if they’ve seen him and she says that she thinks she saw him going outside with Chrissy. 

The way your face falls makes Eddie’s heart still and he sees you quickly turning on your heel and walking outside. 

Eddie isn’t sure why, but he follows you. He follows silently behind you, not hovering, but close enough to where he can see what you see. 

You make your way outside and you’re immediately peering over the dark corners of the backyard. You stop in your tracks when you see something from the corner of your eyes. You look down into the dark alleyway of the house and Eddie sees your frown with the tears filling your eyes at what you see. 

You instantly turn around and run inside, covering your face, and Eddie sees you running up the stairs. You didn’t even notice him a couple feet away. 

Eddie walks over and peers into the alleyway. He stops the gasp from escaping his throat when he sees your boyfriend, Jason Carver, making out with your best friend, Crissy Cunningham. 

He has her up against the wooden panels of the house, her leg is wrapped around his waist, and he can see Jason finger fucking her underneath her skirt. They don’t even notice the second pair of eyes that have caught them tonight. Completely lost in their own world. 

Eddie almost wants to beat him to a pulp right now, but he’s more worried about you than bashing Jason’s face in. 

So, Eddie leaves them and goes back into the house. He goes up the stairs because he saw you run up them and slowly starts opening each door he comes across. Hoping he doesn’t catch another pair going at it. 

But this is high school. He catches another girl riding some guy. He doesn’t catch their faces because he quickly closes the door shut. 

He mumbles a few cuss words and proceeds to go down the hallway. 

He opens the last door of the hall and that’s when he hears your soft cries. 

“Y/N?” He asks into the dark room as he walks into it. 

You quickly sniffle, wiping your tears away, and looking around for the voice. Your face crumbles when you see him. The moonlight shines bright through the open window, coating your features beautifully. 

“Eddie?” He hears your confused tone ask breathlessly in between a sob. 

Eddie quickly closes the door behind him as he walks into the room. Not wanting anybody to see you like this and rushes towards you. 

He’s reaching out for you out of instinct and your arms are falling around him, you melt into his body, your face buried into his chest, and his ringed hands go to your hair. He tries to console you the best he can with the teased ponytail you’re rocking, he sticks with just twirling your hair in his fingers, and you cry into his chest. 

“Shhh, it’s alright. Let it out,” he whispers to you as he wraps his free arm around your shoulders. 

“D-did you see?” You ask, sounding a bit muffled, into his chest. 

Eddie sighs, “He's a jackass. Doesn’t know what he has.” 

You continue to cry into his chest, trying to control your breathing by matching his own, and holding him tightly against you. 

“I’m so sorry, E-Eddie. I was such a bitch to you freshman year! Why are you even here right now? You should h-hate me,” you cry out as you tilt your head up to look at him. 

Eddie’s already looking down at you with a small smile on his lips, he caresses your cheek gently, wiping away your tears, “I could never hate you. Never.” 

“But—“ 

“Never,” he quickly cuts you off. “It’s high school. We all make mistakes.” 

Your cries stop momentarily as you take a second to look at Eddie. 

To really look at how much he’s changed in the past three years. 

He’s really grown into his features and wow, he’s hot. He’s always been sort of hot to you, but you knew it would never happen. Because he was always your nerdy best friend.

His hair is the longest it’s ever been. Long messy brown curls frame his face perfectly and teased in all the right places. His full pink lips are resting nicely, looking wet and kissable. His big puppy brown eyes are looking at you warmly. As if you’ve never done anything wrong before. And you know it’s not the case. Because you’ve been such an awful friend to him. 

You were supposed to be his best friend. And you betrayed him. 

You whimper are your thoughts and Eddie caresses your face again. 

“Hey, hey. What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” 

“I’m… I’m really sorry, Eddie. I-I can’t believe I did that to you… and then now you’re consoling me about stupid Jason. God, I’m such an idiot!!” You move from his chest and cover your face with your hands, feeling angry with yourself for being so dumb, and ashamed for Eddie seeing you like this. 

“Hey, hey…” he grabs your hands, pulling them away from your face, and holds them in his big ones. 

“You’re not stupid, okay? He’s the stupid one. He’s the one who messed up here. Okay? Not you.” 

He sounds so sincere. You look at him with a pout. “What about you?“ 

“What about me, angel face?” Your old nickname slips out of his lips with ease and you flush under the darkness. 

“Do you forgive me?” You whisper low, feeling nervous, and your heart is racing. 

“I mean… of course, I do. I was… I was hurt. I’ve been hurt for a long time. But all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. And if Jason made you happy, then I let him make you happy.” 

“Oh, Eddie.” You wonder how his heart is still so big and caring even after all this time. 

You wonder why you didn’t fall in love with Eddie instead of Jason. Eddie would have never broken your heart. 

You find yourself moving closer into Eddie’s space again. Your head tilting up to his, your lips ghosting above his own, and you feel Eddie’s body tense up against yours. 

“What are you doing?” He quickly asks, his voice shaking slightly. 

“Make me forget, Eddie.” You say lightly at him, your lips moving towards him, and you touch his lips slightly with your own. You hover over them for a little bit. Wanting to see what he does. 

All you want is to forget and who better to help you… than Eddie. You’ve heard the rumors. You know he’s not a virgin anymore. You know he’s had plenty of sexual experiences. You’ve only had Jason. You want more than simple Jason. 

You want Eddie. You want Eddie to rock your world and help you forget about stupid blondie. 

“Please,” you whisper into his lips, your eyes peering up at him, and hoping he says yes. 

Eddie is looking down at you, watching your pretty eyes eating him up, and he’s hesitant on doing this with you. He’s always wanted you. Always wanted to have you in this way. And he’s not sure if he should now that he has the chance. 

But seeing the way your body is leaning over him, almost on top of him, your glossy lips hovering over his, he can smell your minty breath, and he knows you haven’t had a drop of alcohol. 

This is all you. 

Fuck it. 

Eddie surprises you by gripping your face with his big palms and pulling you into him. His lips crash against yours hungrily, you moan into his mouth instantly, your body melting into his, and his tongue fights its way into yours. 

He could taste your sweet lip gloss against his tongue and you could taste the slight beer on his. But you didn’t care. You could care less right now. 

You’ve never been kissed like this before. Fire erupts into your belly. 

His fast hands move down to grip your waist, pulling you more into his body, and he tugs you onto his lap after he adjusts himself onto the bed some more. 

You wrap your legs around his waist, back arching into his chest, and you both don’t break the kiss. Your teeth clashing against his slightly as you both try to get a quick breath of air between open mouth kisses. 

You can’t believe you’re kissing Eddie right now, but you can’t help but increase the speed in which you’re kissing. Your lips move against his hastily and hungrily. 

Eddie moans at your eagerness against him, his hands moving from your waist to your bare thighs right underneath your shorts, and he grips onto your naked flesh tightly. Which makes you grind your hips into his. 

Eddie pulls away with a groan as you tug onto his bottom lip. “Fuck,” he mutters as he watches you grind yourself into him again, your arms wrapped around his shoulders limply, and you look beautiful sitting on his lap. 

You both are breathing heavily, staring into each other’s eyes, asking without any words if this is really happening, and you both simultaneously lean into each other to continue kissing. 

His hands are tugging at the bottom of your sweater, trying to untuck it from your jean shorts, you pull away from him, leaning back on his thighs, and hitch up your hips to him. 

“Fuck, are you sure?” He asks, breathlessly. His eyes locking with yours. 

“Mhmmm,” you moan out, biting your lip. 

With ease, Eddie unbuttons your jean shorts, tugging down the zipper, and untucking your sweater. 

You don’t bother waiting to see what he does, your hands go down to the hem of your sweater, and you pull it over your head. Exposing your breasts which are covered in a black lacy bra, almost popping out of the cups due to all the movement you’ve been doing. 

Eddie’s eyes move from your hips up to your breasts slowly, “Holy shit. You’re fucking…” His words stop flat in their tracks as his swollen lips pout in awe. 

He moves his hands to cover your breasts and he squeezes them into his palms. 

You gasp out in pleasure, rolling your hips against him, and moaning loudly when you feel how hard he is underneath you. 

“Like that?” He asks you and you can only nod at his question. Waiting for his next move. 

He lowers his head and starts leaving small peppered kisses all over the top of your breasts. You pant as he continues to move between both breasts and he unclasps your bra with his free hand. 

The straps of your bra fall down your shoulders, your arms still wrapped around his shoulders, and you proceed to lean back to let your bra fall off your chest. 

Eddie pulls away slowly when he sees what you’re doing and his eyes never leave your breasts. You let your bra fall off your arms and onto the ground slowly as you watch Eddie watching you.

He then takes his time palming each of your breasts in his big palms. Pinching your nipples in between his thumb and index fingers. Then, he goes on to lick and suck your nipples. Taking his time making sure you’re feeling the most absolute pleasure in everything he’s doing. 

Your head tilts back in a moan, reveling in the bliss, and you don’t think Jason has ever taken the time in loving your body like this before. 

Even when you lost your virginity to him, it was in and out. All these feelings were new to you and you didn’t want it to end. 

Is this what it feels like to have a man worship your body? 

Has Eddie always been this giving to his past lovers? 

Eddie continues to kiss each of your breasts, leaving small bruises to remember this night all over your delicate skin, and he moves one of his hands to run his fingers along the curve of your waist. He smirks when he feels your body break out into goosebumps. 

“Eddie,” you whine in wanting more, your eyes closed, and legs trying to grip onto him. Trying to relieve some of the built up pressure you’re feeling in your center. 

“I got you,” he whispers into your neck as he sucks a bruise into it. 

Your hands move underneath his shirt, trying to remove it to feel more of him, and he lets you. 

You admire his naked skin, running your hands down his chest, and touching his new tattoos that you didn’t even know he had. And he smiles down at you. A toothy smile. 

“Hot, huh?” He asks with a wink. 

“You don’t even know,” you reply, kissing his lips again. 

He kisses you slowly this time, but with the same sense of hunger. You almost jump when you feel his hand sneak into your panties. 

You gasp out as you feel his fingers spread you open, feeling how wet you are, and he moans with you. 

“Fucking drenched, angel face. All for me,” he says as he continues to cup your pussy with his hand, spreading you open, and slipping a finger into you with ease. 

He slowly opens you up with one finger, his movements slightly constricted because of your shorts, but it doesn’t stop him. He continues to finger fuck you, inserting a second finger when he feels you’re ready, and goes in between your breasts to kiss each of them. 

You’re already whining above him once again. His thick fingers feeling so good inside of you, clenching your eyes shut in pleasure, and you start rolling your hips against him to try and catch your impending orgasm. 

Eddie moves away from your breasts and chooses to simply just watch you come undone in front of him. 

He can’t believe he has you like this right now. 

He watches the way your chest heaves up and down, your skin coated in a light coat of sweat, your eyes closed with your head tilted back, but you have a smile on your face. Your body is feeding off of the pleasure you’re feeling. 

And Eddie is reveling in it. 

He inserts a third finger, which makes you moan loudly, and he moves his thumb to your swollen clit. Which causes another loud rippling moan to escape from your lips. 

Your hands move from the back of his neck to intertwine into his locks and Eddie continues with his movements. 

He can already feel your legs twitching with your closing orgasm. 

He wonders for a second if Jason ever made you come undone like this. He seems too self involved in himself. 

He pushes Jason out of his mind and focuses on you again. The way your jaw is slacked open, soft whimpers coming out, and you’re riding his fingers so perfectly. 

“Almost there, baby?” Eddie asks you and you can only whine in response. 

He adds a bit more pressure on your clit with his thumb and continues to move his fingers into your tight walls. Your thighs clench around him, your lower stomach getting that familiar feeling that you usually get only with your own fingers, and you whimper sweetly above Eddie. 

Your fingers grip onto his roots when you finally feel your orgasm take complete control over your body. Your legs are shaking, tears are pricking the corner of your eyes, and an exasperated scream breaks out of your throat as Eddie only increases the speed of his fingers. Milking out your orgasm as best as he can and he’s smiling like an idiot underneath you as he admires your blissed out state. 

He slows down his fingers inside of you, sucking on the bottom of his lips, his eyes taking you in so greedily, and you pant above him. Your body relaxes against him in your post orgasm haze. 

Your soft eyes slowly open, taking him in, and smiling when you feel how hard he still is under you. You untangle your hands from his hair and hold his face in your palms. You peck his lips, licking his bottom lip, and proceed to suck a bruise slowly into his neck. Smiling to yourself when you see the pretty purple bruise against his milky soft skin. 

Eddie let’s put a moan at your actions, eyes hooded, and a dizzy smile on his face. He slips out his fingers from inside your shorts and grips into your waist. He gently lifts you up over his legs and you stand up in front of him. Your hands resting on his naked shoulders as your legs feel unsteady underneath you. 

He starts tugging on the bottom of your shorts, pulling them down, letting them fall to your ankles, as you kick off your shoes, and watch his eyes fall down to your lacy pair of black panties. 

“Fuck,” he mutters out, you reach down to unbuckle his belt, unzipping his pants hastily, and trying to tug them off as he’s sitting down still. He chuckles at your frustrated grunts, “Eager there?” You roll your eyes playfully and cross your arms over your chest. 

Eddie mutters something under his breath and stands up, towering over you. 

He kicks off his dirty Reebok’s, shoves his jeans down with all the chains hanging off the hoops, and brings down his boxers with them. 

His thick, red-rimmed, hard cock springs out from the fast movement. Your thighs immediately clench together at the mere sight of him. 

“Fuck me,” you blurt out and blush at your own comment. 

“I will,” he replies cockily, his fingers reaching down to the sides of your panties, and he slowly pulls them down. 

The cold air hits your warm pussy, making your entire body break out into goosebumps, and you shiver slightly as you kick off your undies. 

Your pussy is glistening in front of Eddie and he can’t take his eyes off of you. 

“Look at that,” he whispers. His fingers spread you open, “Glistening and all wet for me. C’mere.” His grabby hands hold your waist again as he helps you come back and sit on his lap. His cock sitting pretty in between you and you can’t wait to feel him inside of you. 

You lean back, one of his hands is holding you by your back, and the other is holding his cock. 

You lift your hips up, mouth open in a whine when you feel him move himself in between your folds, his pre cum spilling into you, and your wetness coating his thick cock. 

His ringed fingers grip your flesh as he aligns you above his cock and swiftly slides into you with one movement. Bottom out in you easily, your tight walls suctioning him in, and you both whine at the connection. 

Finally. 

Your arms hold onto his shoulders, nails digging into them, and your head falls into his shoulder as you whine at how big and thick he feels inside of you. 

You’ve never felt so full before. 

You’ve never felt so open. So spread out. Your walls burn at how thick he is. 

His cock is fitting perfectly inside of you, letting your body adjust to his size, and he almost comes undone when he feels you squeezing against him. Trying to feel more of him. His fingers digging into the fullest part of your hips as you both adjust to each other’s warmth. 

“Oh my god, you’re so fucking big!” You whine out, biting the flesh around his neck, and leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses. 

“Me? F-fuck, you’re fueling my ego. You’re pussy is fucking heavy, angel face.” 

His grip on you never falters as he starts to move you up slowly, the tip of his cock at your entrance, and he moves you back down again. 

You both whine again, feeling so blissful, so fucking wonderful. 

“You feel amazing,” he mutters out into the curve of your neck, biting down gently, and he continues using your body as he pleases. Continues moving you up and down on his hard, pulsating cock. His hips meet yours as you start to increase the speed. 

Rolling your hips into him as he moves you as he wishes, both moaning together, and the sweet smell of sex starts filling the room. 

Eddie suddenly grips both of your hands, moving them behind your back, and holding them by the wrist in one of his own. He holds you steady, your body leaning back, but his cock never stops moving inside of you. You feel fucking amazing right now. Never having felt like this before. 

You both look down at the same moment, both watching the way his cock pulls out of you and swiftly enters back into your soaked pussy, and they way you both enjoy watching. 

Your nails dig into your hands in pleasure, your wetness soaking his thighs, and Eddie moves his head down to your breasts. You arch your back to give him more access as he swirls his tongue over one of your hard nipples, you cry at the pleasure that rocks into your spine, and he moves one of his free hands to massage your other breast. 

“You fit my cock perfectly, fuck. You’re taking me so g-good. Oooohhh, honey. You feel like heaven, angel.” His thrusts only increase in speed, the sound of thighs hitting against each other fills the room, with the loud sound of his cock destroying your pussy. 

You can feel your orgasm building up once again and it’s as if he can tell because he releases his hold on your wrist. You instantly reach down in between your bodies, and cry out when you finally reach your awaiting clit. You hold onto Eddie with your free arm wrapped around his shoulders and he buries his head against your breasts, but continues to hold your hips to keep the pace fast and hard. 

“Oh, f-fuck!! E-Eddie, I’m s-so fucking close. D-don’t stop! Are you close?” You whine out, increasing the speed of your finger against your clit, and you squeeze his cock inside of you with your velvety walls. 

“Oh, sweetheart.. I’m fucking close. Keep going, k-keep touching yourself,” he sucks a couple more bruises into your breasts and then he moves his big hands to the bottom of your ass, cupping both cheeks roughly as his thrusts continue to enter you deeply. 

Your head is tilted back, jaw slacked, mouth open in your whining, your bodies melting together into one, and you feel your orgasm almost taking over. 

“That’s it,” he coos you and then suddenly, you hear the door open loudly. The door hitting the wall in a bang, but Eddie’s doesn’t stop your movements and you don’t either. 

“What the fuck?! Y/N! What the fuck are you doing with this f-fucking freak?!” You hear your boyfriend's loud voice yelling into the room, but you don’t care. All you care about is your orgasm. You need to come undone on Eddie’s cock. That’s the only thing on your mind right now. 

“Shut the fuck up, Carver! And look at your beautiful fucking girlfriend drunk on my cock,” Eddie yells back at him and you finally reach your climax, tears prickling the corner of your eyes. 

“NO! What the fuck?!” Jason yells from the door, slamming his closes fists onto the wall next to him, his eyes locked onto your fucked out body on top of Eddie, and he can’t look away. 

The stimutanous feeling of Eddie fucking you hard and the pressure you’re putting on your clit feels overpowering. And somehow being caught by Jason fuels a kink you didn’t know you had. 

A loud scream explodes from your throat and Eddie follows suit with a loud groan. His thrusts don’t slow down, instead your release triggers his own, his cum spurts out and coats your walls, your pussy clenching around him, squirting on him, and your thighs are shaking. The most overwhelming orgasm you’ve ever felt consumes you. 

“Be fucking loud,” Eddie demands against your neck as he watches you come undone. 

Your whining loudly still, your vision turns hazy with spots filling the corners, your hands gripping onto him as you come down from your climax, and you let out a breath of satisfaction. Your body feels like jelly against his. 

Eddie’s breathing is jagged underneath you, a smirk on his face as he pulls himself away from your breasts, and you finally take a look at the door. 

Jason is standing there, a shocked look on his face, mouth dropped, wide eyes, and he’s speechless. 

You can’t help, but notice how hard his dick is in his khaki colored pants. 

Eddie must have noticed, too. 

“Liked the show, Carver?” He asks cockily as he gently lifts you up over his throbbing cock, you hiss at the sensation and the emptiness. You stand up and you clench your thighs together when you feel Eddie’s cum leaking out of you. 

Jason doesn’t even speak. He’s only watching. His eyes moving down your naked bruised body and locking onto your fucked out pussy. 

Eddie maneuvers his hand in between your thighs, his eyes on Jason, and pushes his cum back inside of you. The squelching sound of his cum getting pushed back inside of you makes your knees buckle. 

You moan at the feeling, squeezing around his fingers, and you look at Jason. 

“I saw you with Chrissy,” you say causally and his eyes snap to your face. “We’re obviously over. So… maybe get the fuck out?“ 

Jason looks as white as a ghost and he quickly rushes out the room, slamming the door shut behind him. 

Eddie’s fingers are still in you when you look down at him and he’s already looking at you, with a smirk on his face and he bursts out laughing. You follow suit, a loud giggle bursting through your lips. 

“Did you see his face?“ He asks between his laughs. 

“It was priceless,” you say as you kiss his lips. 

“Mmm,” he moans into your lips, “Pussy so tight for me. Filled with my cum.” 

“Want to go again?” You ask, eyes glittering with want as you met his own. 

“Fuck yeah, but I want to take you home instead.” 

“Okay,” you whisper against his lips with a smile and a small kiss. 

[thoughtsonkm]

ALBUM TIMEEEE - the next day (after 47383 listens)

The way I couldn't listen to it for most of the day yesterday because I just HAD to listen to it only at home so I could make inhumane noises in peace, you feel me?

I do consider FACE a more cohesive body of work because of the rawness, but MUSE is so much fun and light and perfect for summer and gives you just the right feels that jimin probably wanted to leave us with during his absence

Rebirth has an ideal vibe for a intro and I cannot stress this enough . His voice is so light and airy. Sets the perfect tone of what he's trying to convey in the album. I get why this is one of his favorite tracks.

WITH YOU WITH YOU WITH YOU - love this part

Showtime acts like a seamless transition to SGMB tho. Could easily be the soundtrack of a little scene on some adventure movie, his voice at the end is so cute. I'm glad he had so much fun!

SGMB - honestly this song is truly just so postive. No matter what your musical preferences are, this song is what he wants to portray in all his happy bubbly self. It truly is a different from the rest type of track. I could tell he was so proud and loved the add-libs he did throughout the song.

Slow dance - I JUST KNEW their voices together would go super well on this track, she just has that type of specific voice that blends so well with jimins. The way for a moment I couldn't distinguish the voices at the end.. I WAS WAITING like my life depended on it for the saxophone part, wish it was even longer

Be Mine - It should be illegal to go this hard on a song, It is simply not allowed. You can tell he was waiting for his little latin moment again. This really is such a good genre for him.

MOVIN COMIN LOVIN in a hot island huh jimin? so that's what's happening huh? 😆

WHO - SOTY. Yes he's put crack on this because I can't seem to stop listening (in a strategic way with playlists, pls stream lol)

additional thoughts on this previous post

Closer than this is just e mental loop of I CAN NEVER LET YOU GOOO O O O OOOOO, can't help it

I'm so proud of him for continuing to elevate his music and art and also for always delivering bops and never disappointing

I'm proud he was able to do 2 albums back to back and that he no longer beats himself up for mistakes he thinks he makes and also that he finally could do the voice training from scratch just as he's been wanting to for years, to keep his voice healthy and ensure longevity

[nekoannie-chan]

Last summer

Last summer

Title: Last summer.

Fandom: Marvel, Captain America.

Ship: Pre-serum!Steve Rogers X 40’S!Reader.

Word count: 663 words.

Rating: Teen.

Summary: The last adventure that Steve and you had.

Major Tags: Fluff, nostalgic.

Additional tags: This is my entry for the @bigtreefest Essie’s Summer Lovin’ 300 Follower Celebration!! with the prompt:

“Scenario: Catching fireflies.”

“Trope: Last summer together before going separate ways.”

Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate my work myself) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. Please let me know if you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @Smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @Harrysthiccthighss @Marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @Here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard @rogersbarber

You had known Steve Rogers since you were kids. He lived two doors down from you, and, for as long as you could remember, you and Bucky had been inseparable.

That afternoon, almost evening, you were sitting on the front steps of your house, waiting for Steve to arrive. You had arranged to go out that night, one of the last of the summer. Your parents weren't home, and you had planned a little getaway to the park that used to be your secret hideaway. Finally, you saw him approaching. Steve was walking with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” you greeted, standing up and walking down the steps to meet him.

“Hi,” he replied. You noticed he looked more tired than usual.

“Ready for our last adventure of the summer? “you asked.

“Of course, I am. I wouldn't miss this for the world.”

You both walked in silence towards the park, enjoying the noise the crickets were making and the first stars appearing in the dark sky. You walked to the clearing where you used to play as children, a small nook surrounded by tall trees. You sat down on the grassy ground, and Steve plopped down beside you.

“Do you remember the first time we came here?“ Steve asked, looking up at the sky.

“Of course you do. You said you found a secret hideaway,” you replied, laughing at the memory.

“It was our little refuge from the world,” Steve said quietly. ”A place where we could be ourselves without being bothered. Hey, you know what I want to do?”

“What? “you asked.

“We're going to catch fireflies like we used to. It will be our last hunt of the summer.”

You laughed but nodded. Steve stood up and held out his hand to help you up, and for a moment you stared at him, wondering what you would do without him when he finally left. Together you walked through the park, looking for the little fireflies, running after them, laughing and stumbling in the dark just like when you were kids. Steve caught a firefly in his hands and showed it to you, his face illuminated by the soft green light escaping between his fingers.

“Look, one more for our collection,” he said with a smile.

“You're going to let them go, aren't you? “you asked, pretending to be annoyed.

“Of course. I always let them go,” he said, and then opened his hands, allowing the firefly to fly free again.

You both lay on the grass, watching the stars as the fireflies flew around them. Finally, after a long silence, Steve spoke.

“I'm leaving tomorrow,” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

You closed your eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to well up.

“I know,” you replied, your voice trembling.

“I don't want to leave you,” Steve continued, ”but I feel it's the right thing to do. I need to do something, something that matters.”

“I understand, Steve. I understand more than you know. But I can't help wishing you'd stay.”

Steve slowly, slowly leaned toward you, his lips brushing yours sweetly. When you finally parted, you both had tears in your eyes.

“You will always be my home, no matter where I go,” Steve commented.

“And you will always be my hero, Steve Rogers,” you replied.

You stood there, holding each other under the stars, knowing that this would be your last time together.

When the sun finally began to peek over the horizon, you got up and walked home, holding hands, as you had done many times before. You reached your house, and you stopped at the door, unwilling to let him go.

“I'll write to you every day,” Steve promised.

“And I'll wait for you.”

You hugged and kissed one last time, and then Steve turned and walked away. You stood there, watching him, until he finally disappeared.

You didn't know it would be the last time you would see each other.

[springlibrary]

Fic & Author Recommendations Wrapped 2022

This is a first I am doing this but I felt that I want to share what I’ve been reading for the past couple of months. 

Some authors you may already know and some, maybe not yet. But what they all have in common is that they make really amazing stories which I believe should be shared to everyone.

The categories will simply be separated by Dark and Non-Dark. I think it’s easier that way, but I will mention either way if they (the non-dark ones) are fluff, angst or simply smut. 

Dark

Unsolicited (Lloyd Hansen x Reader) by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor Summary: You run into a rude stranger at the mall, but this won’t be just another chance encounter.

All in the Family (Silverfox!Loki x Reader) by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​ Summary: Your new boyfriend invites you to meet his parents for the holidays.

Wallflower (Silverfox!Thor x Reader) by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor​​ Summary: Your mother meets a new man, but he doesn’t seem very interested in her.

High Value Hero (Steve Rogers x Reader) by @rustytricycle Summary: America’s golden boy, Steve Rogers, doesn’t have the most modern view of women behind closed doors. And the podcasts his buddy Sam has introduced him to don’t help the situation. Unfortunately for you, you catch his eye when you become his next door neighbor.

The Fall of Aphrodite (ThorKi x Reader) by @cherienymphe Summary: You have the hearts of both of the princes, but nothing good lasts forever.

If I can’t have you (Andy Barber x Reader) by @cockslutpadalecki​ Summary: After your professor calls off your affair, you won’t take no for an answer. Andy loves you and you love him— you’re meant to be.​

Fixer-Upper (Lumberjack!Steve x Reader) by @straywords​ Summary: You move to the countryside but life isn’t the cottage daydream you hoped for.

Grey

Put You In Your Place (Stepdad!Andy Barber x Stepdaughter!Reader) by @cockslutpadalecki Summary: Andy is sick of his stepdaughter continuously stepping out of line, and when he catches her spiking the punch at Jacob’s sixteenth birthday party, he’s had enough. It’s time he teaches her a lesson.

Show Some Respect (James Conrad x OFC) by @ladycamillewrites Summary: Louise, the adventurous daughter of a Marine General was assigned Capt. Conrad’s expedition troop. Soon tempers clash and Conrad has to make his position clear.

Non-Dark

Legend: 💚 - Smut / 💙 - Fluff / 💔 - Angst

Poker Face (Loki x Reader) by @mochie85​​ 💚 ​ Summary: Will you win a game of strip poker against the god of mischief?

It’s Always Been You (Loki x Reader) by @sarahscribbles​​ 💙 ​ Summary: Loki follows you from the Yule celebration with one question on his mind.

Come Around Sundown (Tattooed!DBF!Steve Rogers x Reader) by @cockslutpadalecki​ 💚 ​ Summary: What happens at Christmas is never just a one time thing, and when summer break rolls around, you find yourself repeating past mistakes. Or is it a mistake?

Chocolate and Promises (Loki x F!Reader) by @michelleleewise​ 💔💙 Summary: You have been friends with Loki awhile, so when he locks himself away you make it your mission to get to the bottom of it.​

Give these writers some lovin’ and don’t forget to reblog if you liked their fics. Likes are nothing but reblogs are everything. Also, feedback is key! Enjoy! 💖

p.s. you can also send me some of your recommendations. Just slide in my ask or my DMs.

[4am-enha]

☕️ .・📖・。. 🖇 ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── 🧸・。. 🎞 .・🫧

ello ello my luvs! thank you for visiting my page. here you will find enhypen related writings! i only write on here. extra and general stuff will be on my main blog: @4amwon. wattpad coming soon~

you can find the full master list & more below.

fem reader ✩

gender neutral reader ☼

masc reader ❅

ㄴ please let me know if i made a mistake. i may not always catch it.

! currently on a tight life schedule & slow at posting !

OT7

⌲ OT7 text scenarios

ㄴ screenshot format text messages with enha in a certain scenario. (most popular!)

enha when you start your period ☼

enha when you lowkey confess (but you’re drunk.) ☼

enha when you ask them to be your valentine☼

enha when it’s storming ☼

enha when you send them a selfie [snapchat pic format] ✩

enha when you cry over a sloth video (ask) ☼

enha when you forget it’s gfs day ✩

enha when you have an interview ☼

enha when you have a pretty bad argument ☼

enha when you’ve had a pretty bad argument pt.2 (anon ask) ☼

⌲ OT7 short scenarios

ㄴ similar to the above but one-shots in written format.

enha when you’re not feeling well ✩

enha when you go to a haunted house ~halloween special~ ☼

enha when they find you crying ✩

⌲ OT7 bullet points/notes

ㄴ short but sweet bullet points/thoughts on the members.

enha as love tropes ☼

enha as love languages ☼

enha as feelings ☼

enha as your group in a zombie apocalypse ☼

enha reactions when you’re a boxer ☼

⌲ OT7 fic

ㄴ longer one-shots with all enha members together in one.

enhypen eve ~ christmas special ~ ✩

cabin fever (anon ask) ✩

HYUNG LINE ONLY

⌲ text scenarios

ㄴ screenshot format text messages with just hyung line in a certain scenario. only hee, jay, jake, hoon !!

hyung line sending a bold text. ☼

SPECIFIC MEMBER

⌲ 정원 - jungwon

ㄴ usually longer one-shots on just reader x jungwon unless stated otherwise!

$3 coffee ✩

a kick in the heart (anon ask) ☼

⌲ 이희승 - heeseung

ㄴ usually longer one-shots on just reader x heeseung unless stated otherwise!

late summer lovin’ ☼

late summer lovin’ alternative ending (anon ask)

⌲ 박종성 - jay

ㄴ usually longer one-shots on just reader x jay unless stated otherwise!

pouring ☼

⌲ 심제윤 - jake

ㄴ usually longer one-shots on just reader x jake unless stated otherwise!

~ coming soon. ~

⌲ 박성훈 - sunghoon

ㄴ usually longer one-shots on just reader x sunghoon unless stated otherwise!

sweet (in)convenience ☼(ask)

⌲ 김선우 - sunoo

ㄴ usually longer one-shots on just reader x sunoo unless stated otherwise!

studying you (anon ask)☼

puppy bunny love (ask)☼

⌲ 니키 - niki

ㄴ usually longer one-shots on just reader x niki unless stated otherwise!

return home ✩

SMAU SERIES

~ nothing here yet ~

MORE

* this is my first time writing on tumblr, and my schedule is insanely packed so please be patient with me!

* practically none of the pictures are mine. almost all pictures i use are from pinterest! all creds go to the owners!

* i will not write smut on minors so don’t even ask! i am also not very skilled in the smut portion of writing, so expect mainly fluff and angst in here!

* feel free to leave requests in my asks, i may not always respond but i promise i look at all of them and will occasionally write them. i’m always looking for inspo!

* feedback is always appreciated, but please be kind. i don’t usually respond to reblogs on here to avoid spam and make my page easier to navigate, but again, i really appreciate and read them all. they matter to me :)

* all fics on here are reader x enha/enha member, if i ever write any member x member fics they will be on my wattpad! i will announce that separately. please remember it has nothing to do with the real enha members and you shouldn’t involve/relate them with fan fiction. don’t be weird and make them uncomfortable, keep it to yourself and the authors. fan fic ≠ reality. xoxo

* my main blog @4amwon is where i will post updates and random things related to enha and probably also bts & nwjns! i reblog on there too. prepare for jungwon posts galore. i love that man.

* asks will be replied to under the #ask 4am!🧸

anon symbols already taken: 🐴 .

my ults bias list: jungwon (enha), taehyung (bts), haerin (nwjns).

languages: english (fluent) & korean (intermediate)

timezone: KST (Korean Standard Time)

[allthingsfangirl101]

Joe Keery Masterlist

Contains SMUT*

Holidays marked with Emojis. Christmas-🎄 Valentine’s-❤️ New Year’s-🎉 Fourth of July-🇺🇸 Spicy (SMUT)-🌶

Requests are open. Message me on here or Wattpad.

Joe Keery Imagines

Later Nights

Prop Mishap

Blue Christmas Without You 🎄

New Year’s Confession 🎉

Red Carpet Flirts

Lifeguard Fun

Faking It

Reassurance

*Broken Heart Fixed 🌶

A Tricky Thing Called Trust

Secret Admirer ❤️

Stranger By The Pool, Part 2

Not Part of The Plan

Enemies to Lovers Twist

Misguided Jealousy

Private, But Still Perfect

*Something Stupid 🌶

Meet Cute

First Sleepover

Regret

No Bun In The Oven

What Matters

Teacher’s Pet

Interview Emergency

Second Chances

*Looks Can Be Deceiving 🌶

Rocket’s Red Glare 🇺🇸

The Keery Siblings

Secret Birthday

*Good Morning 🌶

Set Surprise 

Even Actors Make Mistakes

Kiss Cam

Accidents Happen, Part 2, Part 3

Protective Duffer Brothers

My Husband, The Boxer

*Officer Joe 🌶

Makeup Chick

Kidnapped

Ransomed (Kidnapped Part 2)

Life After Trauma (Part 3)

Secret Friends-With-Benefits

*Wanting More 🌶

Tables Have Turned

Dacre’s Sister

Innocent Nerves

A Sunny Christmas 🎄

Kiss A Stranger 🎉

*Summer Camp Lovin’ 🌶

The Soccer Player and His Nanny, Part 2

*Perfect Night 🌶

Galentine’s Day Interruption ❤️

Confessions of the Actor

Someone Before Me

*Different Types of Kisses 🌶

My New Guitarist

Speak Now

Frumpy First Date

Falling For Make-Believe

Late Night, Early Talks

Long Time Without You My Friend

Late-Night Swim

Oscar-Worthy Morning After, Part 2

Love Through Makeup

Touchy Subject

Seeing You For The First Time

Being Used

The Girl in The Rain

Nurse Joe

Sleepy Joe

Steve Harrington Imagines

Sick Together

Protective Act

Under the Mistletoe 🎄

New Year Resolution 🎉

The Girl Next Door, Part 2

The Truth Serum

Secrets Hurt

Defending You

Too Soon After

Gym Class Valentines ❤️

Boyfriends Know All

Good Luck Charm

My Brother’s Keeper

Failed You

Fallin’ For Ya

*Tentative First Time 🌶

The Visitor

Friends Don’t Lie

No Time Like The Present

Scoops Ahoy Rescue

No One Else

Hallway Chats, Part 2

May The Fourth Be With Us

A Rough Game

*Secret Superhero 🌶

Drunk Steve

Act Normal

Helpless

Bad Influence

The Dorky Sailor

Protective Parents

Overprotective Little Brother

Fourth of July Deal 🇺🇸

Lover’s Lake

*Undercover 🌶

Bad Dating Advice, Part 2

Demogorgon Killing Weather

Unsure Help

Last-Minute Leverage

Senioritis

All Fun and Games

Unwanted Customers

Standing Up For Her

Take A Break

Awkward Situation

Had Your Chance

Miracle Worker

*Naughty Dinner 🌶

Just An Assignment, Part 2

Halloween Mystery Girl 👻

The Only Cure

Eddie’s Sister

Jealousy Wars

The Letter, Part 2

The Girl Who Was Stuck, Part 2

The Family Embarrassment

Comforting Presence

7 Minutes in Heaven

In This Together. Always.

Seeing Colors, Part 2

Y/N Scrooge 🎄

Powerful Secrets

*Starting the Year off Right 🎉 🌶 

My Dream

*A Full Brood 🌶

No Hero

Right in Front of You

Thy Name is Jealousy

Scary Secrets

Newer and Better Valentine ❤️

*Screw It 🌶

No More Chances

Only For You

The Creel House

Poorly Timed Confessions

Checking on You

*Hawkins Realty 🌶

Unlike the Others

Study Session, Part 2

Bathroom Confessions

Little Notes

Surprised Reactions

The One Heart

*Naughty Dreams 🌶

Her Voice

*Post-Practice Cool Down 🌶

Personal Nurse

Family Nerves, Part 2 🌶

Risks and Timing

*Adrenaline Rush 🌶

Accidentally Turned On

Protective To A Fault

Walter “Keys” McKey Imagines

Insecurities

Christmas Distractions 🎄

Online Relationships

Stripper Cop and Laura Croft

She Has A Boyfriend, Part 2

*Secrets 🌶

Working Late

Antwan’s Assistant

Blue Shirt Girl

Security Breach

Got My Back

Long Time, No See

Desperate First Kiss 🎉

Crazy Plan

Millie’s Friend

Interview Nerves

The Star of Our Story

Simply Lovelorn

*The Boss 🌶

Our Saving Y/N

Kurt Kunkle Imagines

Different Kind of Passenger, Part 2

The One That Got Away

Before The Spree

Other

Fake Fiancé (Mob Boss Fanfic)

Even Stranger Things (Steve Harrington Fanfic)

Rocket’s Red Glare (Joe Keery Fanfic) 

Choice Encounter (Mob Boss Fanfic)

The Other Survivor (Steve Harrington Fanfic)

If you want more, you got more. Joe Keery Masterlist 2.O

[tinyboxxtink]

"....So I Married A Monster" *Chapter 3*

So I gave you a LITTLE lovin' at the end, give me a break. I'm loving all the angsty comments I'm getting. Really gives me a rush relishing in your pain. MWAHAAHAHAHAHA. I'm kidding I love you all please don't leave me.

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Tag List

@madamsnape921

@lolliepopsicle

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@stars-trash-18

@omgsuperstarg

@objection-argumentative

@thatesqcrush

@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

@word-scribbless

@storiesofsvu @believinghurts

-------

The next morning

As soon as you dropped Kylie at daycare and Maggie at school, you headed to work. You worked as an executive at an advertising company, so it gave you a lot of freedom to work from home. Really helped the whole "single mom" thing.

But today you had to go into the office for a meeting, and you were dreading it. The one day you could really use to yourself, you had to go and be around people, pretending to be okay. This was going to be hell.

During your meeting, you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket. You immediately went for it, thinking maybe by some miracle Rafael had figured out a solution super fast. But to your horror, it was a text from Billy.

LUNCH?

Oh god. He knew didn't he? He knew everything. There was no way in hell he was getting you alone in your house right now. You quickly texted him back discreetly.

I'M AT THE OFFICE TODAY.

*BUZZ*

THAT'S HALFWAY TO THE CITY. COME ON, I PROMISE I'LL HAVE YOU BACK IN TIME TO PICK UP THE GIRLS.

Was he serious? He wanted you to meet him in the City? Closer to Rafael? What kind of game was he playing? Well, at least you'd be in a public place. He couldn't murder you in front of an audience. And he promised you could pick up the girls, surely he was just going to let you leave after lunch. Right? While you were thinking it over, your phone went off again.

MY TREAT

His treat? Well, that would be a first. Sure he took care of them when they were married, but since their divorce he hadn't offered up a penny more than his legally obligated alimony and child support.

"Miss Y/N, do you have somewhere better to be?" Your boss interrupted your thoughts, you noticed that the whole boardroom was staring at you.

"No sir, sorry sir," You shook your head as you typed a quick OK back to Billy before shoving your phone back into your pocket.

-------

After your meeting you headed to the restaurant address Billy texted you. You sat in your Uber running your fingers nervously through your hair and checking your makeup. Though you really weren’t sure why-- Billy wasn’t the cute harmless man you fell in love with anymore, you had to remember that. No matter how much his smile made your knees weak.

You walked into the restaurant to see Billy already at a table. He smiled and waved at you, you walked towards him and joined him.

“Hey, sweetie,” He went for a hug, but you went for the handshake.

“Hey, Billy,” You nodded as you sat down across from him. “So, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” He kept that hundred watt smile focused on you, you felt yourself blush.

“Okay?” You tried to act nonchalant as you picked up a menu and browsed it.

“Yeah, you know after I found out you were with that animal, Barba,” He picked up his own menu and began to peruse it. You were glad he wasn’t looking at you in that moment because as soon as he called Barba the animal as opposed to himself, your fists clenched.

“Oh? Yeah it was no big deal…” You tried to keep your voice calm.

“So what did he say about me?”

“N-Nothing, I kicked him out as soon as I hung up on you, Billy,” You glanced up at him. You weren’t lying, you did kick him out right after you hung up. And it was the biggest mistake in the world.

“Really?” He looked genuinely surprised, but elated. “You just believed me over him, just like that?”

“Well, of course Billy,” You nodded as you put the menu down. “You’re the father of my children, I’ve known you for almost a decade. I...loved you,” You gulped as you sipped the courtesy water. You didn’t know if it was a great idea to toss that in, but you figured you needed to throw him as far off the scent as you could.

“...Loved?” Billy asked curiously.

Shit. Abort Abort.

“I mean, I’ll always care about you Billy,” You put a hand over his, giving him the sweetest smile you could manage.

“And Barba?” He gripped your hand a little tighter. “Do you love him?”

Shit. Alright, stay calm.

“I thought I might,” You nodded sadly. “Before you told me what a...monster, he is,” You hated even saying the words, but he needed to buy what you were selling.

“Oh, honey,” Billy gave you a sympathetic smile. “You know that’s what I’ve always loved about you. Always so trusting, and loyal...those are really great qualities in a woman,”

“...Thank you?” You sounded offended.

“Gosh,” He chuckled. “You know I am starting to forget why we even broke up,”

Oh God.

“B-Because you were always working, and you thought it would be unfair to keep going like we were going on the kids, and me,” You reminded him.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” He half laughed. “Gosh, you know I think I...I really messed that up,”

“...What?” You nearly choked on your drink.

“I think I made a huge mistake, choosing my...work, over you and the girls,” He gave you a genuinely apologetic smile.

“Oh, Billy you--” You tried to dissuade him, but he wasn't having it.

“No, you know what Y/N having the girls this past summer, it reminded me how much they mean to me. How much you, mean to me,” He took your other hand in his so he was holding them both now.

“But you know what? No more. Screw my job, I’m choosing my family this time,” He gave you the most loving smile and look you’d ever seen on him. You were starting to be even more confused than ever.

“...R-Really?” You blinked in disbelief. “You’d just...give up, your...job, for us?”

“Yes, I would babe,” He nodded, rubbing the back of your palms with his thumbs.

Suddenly, you remembered what kind of “job” he actually had. How could you get out of this? What would make sense? Wait, a thought occurred to you.

“...No,” You removed your hands from his.

“....No?” He repeated, his tone shifting. “What do you mean, no?”

“I mean, I’m not going to let you back into our lives, back into the girl’s lives. Get their hopes up that we can be a happy family again, and then you just take off again when you start itching to get back to work!”

“....Itching?” His nostrils flared. “Is there a reason you used that...specific phrase, Y/N?”

“No, it’s a term, Billy. Look it up,” You were getting more brazen, knowing you had a crowd of eyes around you. He wouldn’t try anything.

“You sure that’s not a certain lawyer talking, sweetheart?” He didn’t let up.

“....How do you know him, anyway Billy?” You suddenly changed the subject.

“Excuse me?” Now it was his turn to blink in disbelief.

“You knew him, when you called me,” You reminded him.

“Well yeah babe, I know he’s a--”

“A monster,” You finished.

“Yeah, I told you--”

“But, how would you know that?” You asked again.

“What?”

“He’s a prosecutor, Billy. You’re a...whatever it is you are,” You crossed your arms. “So how, do you know him?”

“Because….” You saw the wheels turning in Billy’s head. “Because he and the NYPD set me up!”

“They set you up?” You asked curiously.

“Yeah,” He sniffed and rubbed his nose as the waitress came and took your orders. He eyed her nervously as she wrote down your requests and left the table once more.

“You gonna elaborate?”

“Look right before I met you, I was living in the city,” He sighed, starting his story. “And I was on a harmless jog in Central Park, and these tourist girls got spooked and this bitch detective brought me in, started getting her whole squad zoned in on me for some reason, including your man Barba,”

“Just for no reason?” You gave him a look.

“Yes!” He pounded the table, causing some stares. He took a deep breath, and repeated himself. “Yes, babe,”

“Uh huh,” You nodded as the waitress brought your drinks. It was only lunch but you had ordered a martini, you needed it to get through this.

“Look I thought you said you believed me,” Billy’s eyes narrowed. “...Or was that a bunch of bullshit?”

“N-No,” You suddenly sat straight up, remembering you needed to keep up your act.

“I’m just trying to understand the whole situation, baby boy,” You threw your old nickname at him to diffuse the situation.

“Right…” He licked his lips with a smile as the waitress came and sat the food down in front of each of you.

“Anyway, babe they set up this whole thing. They went on a vendetta against me, I swear to God. They-- they started pulling all these records of me from places I lived, trying to pin me to something, anything. And then their Captain…” He stopped and chuckled, but not his normal chuckle. This was more...sinister, darker.

“She just had this...thing, for me,” He smiled as he remembered her, the “Good times” they had. “She begged me to spend this bender weekend with me and when things didn’t go her way, she tried to say I ‘kidnapped’ her, raped her, did all this nasty stuff to her,”

“....Why would she make that up?” You took a bite of your food. He was just spilling all of this information without you even prying, this seemed too easy.

“Because she’s a BITCH, that’s why!” He suddenly yelled again and pounded the table, more people turned to stare this time before he quickly got himself together once more.

“Billy, I’ve never seen you like this,” Your voice shook as you spoke.

“I’m--I’m sorry, Y/N,” He blinked back tears. “They just...they put me through hell,” He began to show you scars on his face and pointed to his ear. “She...when we went on our little bender, she got so hopped on pills and booze that she beat me within an inch of my life,”

Your hand went over your mouth as you saw his injuries for the first time. You put your other hand and traced the scar, tears in your eyes. He couldn’t have just faked those scars, there was no way for him to know you’d start questioning him like you had.

Maybe...maybe he was telling the truth. You had just taken Rafael at his word, and those articles at theirs. Stories could always be spun, and if it made the NYPD look good, that would make the best story, right?

“Billy…” You wiped his cheek with your thumb, tears were spilling down them. “I am so, so sorry…”

“It’s fine,” He sniffed, wiping snot from his nose as he pulled himself together. “I just...I just want to move on,”

“Yeah…” You nodded, patting his cheek gently with a small smile.

“So, will you let me come home?” He asked you with a sad smile.

“I…” You looked down at the table, mulling everything over. You really, really didn’t want to believe Rafael had been the liar here, just covering up for his best friend.

But...Billy seemed genuine, you had known him so much longer than any of them, maybe you knew him better than they did. You knew he was the wrong guy they should have tried to send away, maybe he was just the victim of their dirty captain. But the whole…”job” aspect, you weren’t sure of. You still didn’t know what he did, and why he had been gone all the time. Rafael’s explanation seemed logical.

“...I’ll think about it,” You looked at him with a small smile.

“You’ll think about it?” He quirked an eyebrow.

“Billy, you really hurt me,” You felt tears come to your throat. “You have to know that,”

“I know, babe…” He gave you a sad smile back, taking your hands again. “I get it, I have to earn your trust again,”

“Yes,” You nodded, glad he wasn’t going to press it. He nodded and looked at the table for a moment, then looked up at you with that smile of his.

“...You know, if you want the afternoon off honey, I can pick up the girls,” He offered.

“E-Exucse me?”

“You want to go see Barba, don’t you?” He was now smirking. “You want to verify what I’m saying, right?”

“I...um…”

“Go for it darling, that’s how confident I am you’ll make the right decision,” He encouraged you.

“...Right,” You nodded, downing the rest of your martini. “And if I don’t, you’ll have the girls as leverage,”

“Aww now Y/N…” He kept his smirk, it seemed more evil now when you looked at it. “I won’t need leverage, will I?”

“....No,” You gulped. You didn’t entirely trust him now, but you weren’t about to turn down a chance to see Rafael. Besides, if what he said was true, Billy would never harm the girls.

“Good then, so we’ll see you at home?”

“Sounds good,” You nodded as Billy laid down his card on the check. You got up and headed to the door, dialing Rafael’s number. You remembered that he had said not to contact him first, so you thought you’d do him one better.

-------------

Rafael was in his office putting together his opening argument when you knocked on his office door.

“Come in,” He said nonchalantly, thinking it would be his assistant with a memo.

He glanced up from his desk as the door opened and dropped his pen when he saw you. He blinked a few times, making sure he wasn’t hallucinating as he stood up from his chair and approached you slowly.

“....Y/N? What are you--?”

“Shut up,” You cut him off with your words before catching his lips in yours in a hungry, aggressive kiss.

You didn’t care what Billy had said, or what events led up to right now. You just knew at that moment you needed Rafael. And you took him, no regrets. You two spent several seconds just kissing and drinking each other up, hands roaming all over each other’s bodies.

You’d think you two had been separated for months, not barely 24 hours. But you both had been sure it would be ages, maybe ever before you saw each other again, and like you had said before you’d never been out of each other’s lives for more than a day since the day you met. Fine, maybe you were a little overdramatic.

“What are you doing here, tonta?!” He suddenly broke apart from you and chastised you. “I told you, it’s too--”

“Billy sent me,” You simply said, breathless from the kissing.

“...’Billy’, sent you?” His eyes narrowed. “And why exactly did Billy send you?”

“...We need to talk,” You bit your lip nervously. “But...but I just...I just want us to be us, for a little bit longer,”

“...A little bit longer?” Rafael’s eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t like the sound of that one bit.

“Just...please, Rafa?” You begged him, your doe eyes wet with tears. You knew what you were about to have to do, and you just wanted to be happy for a few more minutes.

“...Bueno,” Rafael sighed, before he grabbed you by your waist and carried you over to his couch, before resuming making out with you like two teenagers.

He didn’t like the sound of where this was going, but he knew he wanted to put it off as long as possible. And he had missed you like crazy, even if it had just been 12 hours. He loved you so much, and so fast, it scared him.

You didn't know what you were going to say to Rafael once his tongue was out of your mouth, but right now you didn't care. You just wanted this to go on forever---

And then there was a knock at the door.

[glennmillerorchestra]

i was tagged by the grooviest of friends, maddie @leonardcohenofficial and hazel @runofthemilldemo to post my favorite lyrics from my spotify wrapped top 10!

1. i had another look and i had a cup of tea and butter pie / butter pie? / the butter wouldn't melt so i put it in the pie - uncle albert/admiral halsey - paul mccartney

2. she said, "paul, you better look around / how long you think that you can / run that body down? / how many nights you think you can / do what you been doin' / who, now who you foolin’?” - run that body down - paul simon

3. why don't you write me? / a letter would brighten my loneliest evening / mail it today / if it's only to say that you're leaving me - why don’t you write me - simon & garfunkel

4. you'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs / i look around me and i see it isn't so / some people want to fill the world with silly love songs / and what's wrong with that / i’d like to know - silly love songs - wings

5. that was your last mistake / i find my love awake and waiting to be / now what can be done for you? / she's waiting for me - too many people - paul mccartney

6. coyote's in the coffee shop / he's staring a hole in his scrambled eggs / he picks up my scent on his fingers / while he's watching the waitresses' legs - coyote - joni mitchell

7. yesterday / all my troubles seemed so far away / now it looks as though they're here to stay / oh, i believe in yesterday - yesterday - the beatles

8. and she feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from china / and just when you mean to tell her that you have no love to give her / then she gets you on her wavelength / and she lets the river answer that you've always been her lover - suzanne - leonard cohen

9. hot town, summer in the city / back of my neck getting dirty and gritty / been down, isn't it a pity? / doesn’t seem to be a shadow in the city - summer in the city - the lovin’ spoonful

10. heart of the country / where the holy people grow / heart of the country / smell the grass in the meadow - heart of the country - paul mccartney

i'll tag @frogeye-pierce @plaid-nightmares @petecochrans @ourladyoftheundergroundd and @ghostsickness if you all would like to do this!

[satoruswifeyyy]

TALKING BODY

Type: one-shot

Fic: Gojo Satoru x gn!reader

Warnings: substance abuse, sexual abuse, swearing, mentions of sex, heavy angst.

Note: hey, this fic is inspired from the song "Talking Body" - Tove Lo and this is my interpretation of it and how I felt about the song and @kuroosdreamwifey has a similar fic like this that i took the basic idea from (will be linked at the end of it). If you've been through a break up or just gotten out of a toxic relationship please know that I love and I appreciate you for dealing with it! If you know anyone who has gone through something like this then just be there for them!! please I won't take much of your time!!!

<- masterlist —★— request ->

Enjoyyy!!

It had been a while since you had walked home alone. You took out your phone to play music that would give you company since you had no one to accompany you home. You skimmed through the songs until a title caught your eye, “Talking Body” by Tove Lo… The artist was familiar to you. At that point all you wanted was a song to bury your worries and lighten your burden and so you pressed ‘play’.

Your eyes widened as soon as you heard those lines. Your worries came flooding back tenfold. You felt blood rush to your cheeks once you thought of how Gojo’s skin felt on yours, you could feel it like he touched you just yesterday. You also remembered the times you got him substance until the point you were out of money to buy yourself dinner. You did all of this to see him smile. You loved him… Did you really?

Bed, stay in bed

The feeling of your skin locked in my head

Smoke, smoke me broke

I don't care, I'm down for what you want

You both were constantly on some kind of influence be it drinking or drugs. You wanted him there, you wanted to drown in his love. You felt so many things around him and to you he was the only one who cared for you. Gojo had a temper and he wasn’t afraid to show it. Broken vases, shattered mirrors and torn fabric would be around you by the end of it. Your lips would tremble as he kissed you apologizing between catching your breath. He at least apologized for the bruises on you, right? And it’s all because you love him, ri-

Day drunk into the night

Wanna keep you here 'Cause you dry my tears

Yeah

Summer lovin' and fights

How it is for us

And it's all because

Moans would fill the room after an argument that you wouldn’t dare to speak of it again. You knew sex would fix it for you, it always fixed everything related to Gojo. It was the only thing that would keep Gojo occupied, keep him from leaving you for someone else. He made you weak for him. “You’re mine.” He had already labeled you as his property to fuck, bruise or use. But that was his form of loving you right?

Now if we're talking body (Hey)

You got a perfect one

So put it on me (Hey)

Swear it won't take you long

If you love me right

We fuck for life

On and on and on x2

5… 8… 12… 16… You had so many people around you. Girls and guys who fell for you, who loved being friends with you and then you met Gojo Satoru. 23… 15… 7… 4… 1, you now only knew one person and he was your whole life. You gave up all your friends and disobeyed your family only because of him, him and his love. Rough or soft, passionate or dry, kissing or sex, smoking or drinking… that’s all you knew and that was all that happened. But then again, that’s the way he shows that he loves, right?

Love, give me love

Anything you want I'll give it up

Lips, lips I kiss

Bite me while I taste your fingertips

You felt miserable as you walked back home. It was almost like this song was written for you. You’re sure he loved- are you sure he LOVED YOU?

Day drunk into the night

Wanna keep you here

'Cause you dry my tears

Yeah

Summer lovin' and fights

How it is for us

And it's all because

“Satoru, how could you do this to me?!”

Oh, now if we're talking body (Hey)

You got a perfect one

So put it on me (Hey)

Swear it won't take you long

If you love me right

We fuck for life

On and on and on (On and on and on) x2

“Don’t be so fucking dramatic, Y/n. It was just a one-night stand! Grow up and stop being a bitch.”

“J-just a one-night stand? Gojo Satoru, I’m your s/o! You love me, remember?!”

“Did I say I love YOU? Y/n you were nothing but mine to use. Love? Where did you even get that idea? You’re wasting my time. We’re over!”

Ah, that hit you hard. You felt like a use and throw object and you took a while to cope from it… Two years, it’s been two years since then and you feel like all this happened a couple of hours ago.

“Y/n,” you heard him whisper your name as he bit your ear. “What are you?” he asked as slid his hand into your shorts. You felt hot and your legs became weak as you tried to speak. “Answer me…” “Yours only yours so please stop!” you spit out but a few minutes later there you were lying on the bed, naked with a sheet wrapped around you. “I’ll use up until there’s nothing left to use.” he said as he walked away. Is that how he felt when he left you? Did he use you up to the extent he had to throw you away?

Bodies

Our baby making bodies we just use for fun

Bodies

Let's use them up 'til every little piece is gone

(Let's go)

On and on and on

(Let's go)

On and on

(Let's go)

As the chorus kept playing you found yourself closer to home and closer to your answer. You had already realized that you were nothing but a thing for Gojo to use but hearing this song made it clear to you. As you walked to your apartment you saw a familiar figure standing near your door. You couldn’t mistake him for someone else because you knew that body so well. It was him, Gojo Satoru. The man of your dreams and also the man who took his sweet time shattering those dreams. “I missed you.” He said with a guilt filled voice “Cut the bullshit!” You spoke back with venom laced in every word!

Now if we're talking body (Hey)

You got a perfect one

So put it on me (Hey)

Swear it won't take you long

If you love me right

We fuck for life

On and on and on (Hey) x4

“Y/n, I’m sorry! Please, I really mean it!” He said with eyes full of tears which was new to you but you knew damn well not to get fooled by it! “Give me another chance, I swear I’ll treat you like Royalty!” He said trying to grab your hand. You pulled away immediately “Who is this, Love?” A tired voice called out. “Gojo, what are you doing here?” his voice slightly raised, he stood in front of you. Gojo’s eyes looked at the guy standing to protect you in terror, not because he was scared of him but because of the shock that you moved on completely fine while he regretted all the things he did to you.

“I’m fine, sweetie.” You said giving a small smile. Your current boyfriend knew you weren’t completely over what Gojo did to you but he was okay with it. He was more focused on showing you what real love felt like that he temporarily made you forget how Gojo treated you. “Leave!” your boyfriend said sternly “Don’t even try to breathe in Y/n's direction…” Gojo felt defeated in front of both of them and without saying a word he left.

“So, how was your day?” He asked you with a warm smile. “I feel like a huge burden suddenly disappeared!” you said with a light heart. “Good, you’ve finally moved on!” he smiled and with that you both went in and lived a happy life!

_____________________________________________________________

That's all!

hope you liked it!!

Click here for Rin's song fic!!

Proof read by @biancablack2474 <3

[angelthebedsheet]

Ok but like imagine a 6’8 black girl walking into karasuno gym while the in practice.

a/n: oooh alr this gonna be a headcannon

lets get it!

okay so ms girl you have some backstory.... some LORE

you used to be apart of the third year gang before you had to transfer schools

the boys + kiyoko really missed you yk?

so today you finally came back to karasuno

esp asahi bc you were his home girl

you already knew your way around and saw some of your old classmates from year one

now baby you are a tall girl

like taller than asahi girl

ya legs were lookin real beautiful

now you were on your way to suprise your babies

you knocked on that gym door and suga peeks his head out like

“hello? who is i— MY BABYLOVE!”

this nigga screamed that shit so loud the third years were ALERTED

there’s only one babylove and thats YOU honey

suga damn near jumps you

like he hasnt seen you in so LONG

“i missed you suga! im back for good now!”

“missed you too!! thats amazing!! also. WHY DIDNT YO ASS VISIT ME EARLIER? I HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE SUMMER LAST FUCKIN YEAR.”

sugamama’s out and he got your ear.

now kiyoko heard ya voice and that girl was zooming

suga and kiyoko pull you into the gym

second years and first years went

DAMNNNNNNN

asahi ran over there and tackled you in a big ass hug

now there’s a doggy pile of third years

and the rest have never been so confused

they havent even gotten a good look at you bc you got JUMPED by the third years

they deadass dropped their shit to get to you

“babylove its been so long!!” - kiyoko

this alr made nishi and tanaka go like 🤨🕶🤏🏽

like “whom?”

how you managed to avoid them is beyond me but girl you got your ways even tho yous a big bitch

kageyama deadass dont really care that much bc volleyball why tf this rando just bust up in here and take the third years....

n e ways

eventually they pull you up

they’re like DAMNNNNN again

bc GIRL YOU TALL TALL

like you can actually give asahi a forehead kiss

(which you have bc aint no damn way if i was in the third year gang i wouldnt give them affection poor baby prolly touch starved)

nishinoya and tanaka’s simp reflexes have kicked in they are def about to say some lightskin ass shit

daichi’s alr on defense

“ahnt ahnt let me introduce her. COACH UKAI can we take a min to introduce her?”

“...fine whatever just dont take too long”

“alr bet”

(i hc daichi, tanaka, and asahi got that negro in em so if you dont like that then suck my dick and you may think bc i am a woman i dont have one but i have a pink di—)

they introduce you

“this is l/n y/n. she was a first year manager with kiyoko until she had to transfer but now she’s back!” goodlooks suga

“any questions?”

“how are you so tall?” hinata

“ask another dumb question like that and i swear to GOD hinata.” sugamama

“can you play volleyball?” kageyama

“yeah i can. i play with ushijima”

I BEG YOUR DAMN PARDON?

USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI??? THE MAN WITH THE POWERFUL SERVE???

“what 😀” asahi

“can SHE PLAY WITH US????” - hinata

tsukishima cant even talk shit bc you really could rock his ass

he gotta look up at you he dont want no smoke lmaoaoao

they were just hounding you with questions now and suga a lil peeved bc damn yall cant pay attention in class and ask all these questions but as soon as our babylove comes in yall suddenly got shit to say? 🚶🏽‍♂️

“she’s hot, tall and plays volleyball? i mean shit l/n senpai...” - nishinoya’s thirsty ass

“ahnt I THINK THE FUCK NOT?” - daichi

oop

during this kiyoko just pulls you to the bench so you can just chat with da girlz

aka her and yachi

yachi fumbling and stumbling

like mamas you lookin real scrum-dilly-ious

“i-im yachi hitoka! nice to meet you senpai”

you’ve already adopted her

“i love you now. kiyoko can i take her in”

“she isnt a stray animal babylove.”

yachi’s a lil like???? yall got a poly thang happenin? is this whats going on?

you saw the confusion in her eyes

“they call me babylove since i used to act like like a lovin mother to em and i had a baby face”

(i suffer from baby face syndrome and istg if someone says i look like a lil kid one more time i’m gonna pop off like the fourth of july fym i look like a lil kid bitCH GET OUTTA MY FA— lemme stop being so aggressive in these)

“ooooh”

now we all know nishinoya is DOWN with the melanin.... and you sittin with the gorls lookin all... tasteful and melaninated.

is melaninated a word? i dont know but i will continue to use it even if it isnt

now he suddenly sitting beside you

“hey mamas”

excuse me? i beg your pardon?

“uh hello?”

stage 1 complete he’s now your simp lmao

“you’re beautiful”

“nishinoya if you dont get yo clown ass the FUCK up over here” daichi’s black ass and sugamama

“dAMN I CANT DO SHIT IN THIS FAMILY”

yeah they missed you and you def played volleyball

they made the mistake of letting you play on the team with daichi, suga, and asahi

you bodied they asses

even coach ukai had to hold in that snicker

you damn near beheaded hinata with that spike

that boy hit a note so high ms. ariana grande was given a run for her money

“YESSIRRRRRR” - you

the slangs are out and kageyama has never been so confused

static? bum ass bitch? tf that shit mean

(ny slang be confusing me too homie its alright)

yall right after they lost

but yeah eventually the first years warmed up to you

as soon as you affectionately patted kageyama’s head he was done for

that boy is ✨t o u c h s t a r v e d ✨

you fussed over yama and tsukki and they were sold

yama bc you were really sweet

tsuki? same reason but he aint telling you he said “im taking that shit to the fucking GRAVE”

das all bc baby im blanking out and i’m doing stupid like kaminari after he short circuits

[kumkaniudaku]

Atticus smut at a drive-in movie theater, maybe?

A chill in South Florida was almost as unusual as you being shoulder-to-shoulder with a man on a date, but things were due for a change.

“You cold?” You looked over at Atticus Freeman, who sat peering at you over his glasses. A genuine look of concern graced his beautiful features, robbing you of the ability to form an answer.

“Huh?”

“I was wondering if you were cold. I have a jacket in the backseat if you need it.”

“Yeah, that’d be, uh...that’d be great. Thank you.”

Atticus returned your sheepish grin before reaching in the backseat to retrieve his worn Army coat. Your eyes scanned the immediate area while you waited. On both sides of your brother’s Ford were cars filled with other moviegoers enjoying the night’s feature. In the car ahead of you and Atticus, a younger couple had completely abandoned watching the film in favor of connecting on a more physical level.

Atticus followed your gaze as he draped the coat across your shoulders.

“Looks like we get a show at the show.”

“Sometimes, a little bit of lovin’ is more interestin’.”

“You speaking from experience or wantin’?”

“A little of both.” Though you didn’t look to your left, you could feel Atticus smiling at the side of your face. You smiled and adjusted your position in the passenger seat. “Watch the movie, Freeman. You asked me here, not the other way around.”

Atticus considered probing for more information but decided to take what he was given and settled into his seat. Creature from the Black Lagoon played across the screen in black and white, but you didn’t pay much attention. You’d seen it enough times to recite the lines forward and backward, anyway. Instead, you waited for the perfect breaks in the action to steal a glance at Atticus’ profile and admire the slight curve of his lips as he dove further into the story. When looking became insufficient, you leaned over the center to kiss his cheek. “Now, I thought we were watching the movie,” he joked with his eyes still forward.

“This is the first time we’ve been off my aunties porch on a real date. Forgive me for wanting to kiss you. I don’t get the chance otherwise.”

“Well, you ain’t ever asked, either.”

“I’m askin’ now.” Atticus finally tore his attention away from the screen to look down at your lips before meeting your dark eyes. “You gon’ kiss me or what, Freeman?”

“I-I mean...I can. I can-I can kiss you if -”

Your lips against his effectively quieted Atticus as he matched the pressure and pace you set. Both of you pulled away breathless, grinning and sporting two sets of crooked glasses when you’d had enough of each other.

“Hopefully, I won’t have to ask next time.”

Atticus’s smile dropped as he moved further away to lean against the door. “There won’t be a next time, Minnie.”

“Why? Was it that bad,” you asked, laughing.

“No! It was perfect, actually. More than I could’ve hoped for.” Atticus watched your facial expression begin to sag and rushed to fix his mistake. He captured your lips in a second, shorter kiss before pressing his forehead against yours. “I gotta go back home. To Chicago.”

“Won’t you be back right after?”

“I can’t say for sure. It’s a family thing, and my folks ain’t the type to let me come and go with no issues.”

“Then, maybe you should stay for a little longer.”

He used his thumb to caress your jawline and closed his eyes. “I’ve heard that a time or two. But, I gotta go see about my father.”

“I understand.”

You didn’t speak as you shimmied out of Atticus’s jacket and tossed it in the backseat. He shook his head in response and attempted to grab your arm. “C’mon, Minnie, don’t do me like that.”

You shrugged off the contact and climbed over the center console to reach the backseat. He watched you in confusion until you finished creating a pillow with his clothes. After removing your glasses and placing them in the now empty passenger seat, you fluffed your curls and closed your eyes.

“Don’t have me back here by myself, Atticus. If you’re gonna leave me for Chicago, you might as well leave me with something to remember you by.” Atticus quickly grabbed your outstretched hand and contorted his body until he was hovering over your body in the backseat. You reached up to remove his glasses, handling the broken frames with care until they rested on the glove box. His lips brushed across your jawline and then your cheek before settling over your mouth.

Time didn’t allow for the intimate exploration that the first crack at sex deserved. There was no space to completely stretch out and feel the weight of Atticus’s body on top of your or to have him take care while undressing both you and him. He couldn’t fully appreciate the first viewing of your bare, brown skin that any man had ever had.

You didn’t mind, though. If this was what your first time had in store, you were happy it was with the sci-fi buff that walked in your uncle’s store one morning.

Atticus helped lift the hem of your skirt to your waist before undoing his belt and pants. The mixture of moonlight and light from the movie screen reflected off of his skin, giving Atticus an ethereal glow in the night. You smiled and stared at him while he ran his fingers up your thighs to pull off your undergarments. He was a sight to behold and a memory you wished to keep.

Your name had never sounded so beautiful until it fell from his lips as he entered your body. An audible hitch in your breath made him pull out and look down to gauge your reaction.

“Keep going. I’m okay.”

“You sure?”

You nodded and lifted from the backseat to kiss his bottom lip. “I’m sure. Keep goin’.”

With your permission, Atticus continued. He set a slow pace while keeping an eye on your face for any indication of your discomfort. You tucked your teeth between your lips to stifle a moan at the sudden stretch and fullness of being physically joined to the man that had captured your attention in late Spring. Atticus handled you with as much care as fucking in a backseat would allow. His pace remained slow and steady while the sounds in the area intensified.

Shared hot and heavy breathing created a thick fog on each window with tiny droplets blazing a trail from top to bottom. You could’ve sworn you saw two of them take deliberate paths to join each other in the center just as Atticus dipped his head for a kiss. Every inch of your body was warm and wet to the touch. Sweat from his forehead transferred to yours while he took on the brunt of the work. As his pace quickened, an unfamiliar coiling in the pit of your belly caused you to groan with his mouth still attached to yours. You felt ready to explode and scream all at the same time.

Clutching the back of Atticus’s t-shirt, you allowed the strange sensation to roll through your body naturally. Your muscles seized, and your toes curled in your shoes, suspending you in the most beautiful dream your brain could create. Was this what your older cousins meant when they talked about seeing stars with their boyfriends?

Atticus gripped you into a bear hold and drove into your body with renewed energy while you came down off your mountain top. The feeling was indescribable, somewhere between soft-serve ice cream in the summer and a warm blanket on a cold day. Each thrust sent your head thumping against the car door, making both of you laugh until Atticus finished with a stutter in his hips and your name on his lips.

When your breathing evened out, Atticus helped you sit up and redress before pulling his pants up to his waist. One after the other, you returned to your places in the front seat. You both placed your glasses on the bridge of your nose in sync.

The car was silent for several minutes before Atticus leaned over to kiss your cheek. He waited for you to turn and face him to place two rapid pecks on your lips for good measure.

“Something to remember me by.”

[rouiyan]

𝘙𝘌𝘔𝘌𝘔𝘉𝘙𝘈𝘕𝘊𝘌 ☾ [ 𝘭.𝘮𝘬 ]

⧏ part of the ‘before i met you’ collective ⧐

synopsis: — “girl, i got your lovin’ on repeat.” but like, literally because mark can’t seem to stop replaying the memory of your love, over and over again, in his head. endlessly.

✧ idol!mark x (fem.) reader → idol!jeno x reader ✧ post breakup au, cheating au

✧ genres : angst, nostalgia, minimal fluff ✧ word count : 4.7k ✧ disclaimers : suggestive themes, mentions of infidelity, mentions of sex, minor swearing

✧ playlist : you were good to me - jeremy zucker, chelsea cutler | highway to heaven (english ver.) - nct 127 | be my mistake - the 1975

author’s note — a sad spinoff of mark’s infamous line in highway to heaven. it’s really sad, i don't know why you would read this and i'm unsure of why i wrote this in the first place. enjoy!

✧ PRESENT

mark takes four, evenly spaced out swigs of water, deciding to down the whole bottle before realizing that he's only a third of the way through his recording session. he's tired, the vein in his forehead showing and his hands limp by his side. there isn't much to the song, except the few lines that are in a deeper range, but mark swears that it's the lyrics that are getting to him. his throat seems to close up at the words 'love' and 'you,' and the producer is annoyed to say the least, telling him to take a break not thirty minutes into the session.

the said boy slips the headphones off of his neck and hangs it securely on the sheet stand, exiting the room per the producer's instruction. mark hesitates before taking a seat at the couch, even the most inconspicuous things seem to make his mind spin. he closes his eyes to rest but almost instantly wishes he didn't because he's met with the sight of you.

✧ NINE (09) MONTHS AGO

the producer's angry at mark but he isn't entirely sure why, too preoccupied with glancing through the thick glass window, separating the rest of the studio with the recording room he's currently in. he figures it probably has to do with the fact that he can't take his eyes off your sleepy figure on the black leather couch, clutching the matching black leather pillow to your torso. your eyes are glossed over and laced with fatigue, laid shut for most the time, only snapping open at the sound of mark's singing voice. 

he thinks, well knows, that you're cold, noting how you're dressed in only a thin baby blue cropped camisole and his sweats that are obviously too big for you. despite the heat of summer outside, the recording studio stays cold with a generous amount of ac. he's in the middle of silently reprimanding himself for not thinking of bringing a hoodie for this specific case scenario but is brought back to reality when the producer has taken it upon himself to play the backtrack of the song, not bothering to notify mark in his current state. 

mark rubs at his throat with his left hand, his right clutching a wilted sheet of paper with the lyrics and his notes on it. he takes another glance at you, giving a small smile and thumbs up, before jumping into his part at the right beat. a part of him is always nervous when you decide to join him in the studio but moreover, he's extra motivated to give you the best (almost) one-on-one show he can, absolutely giddy off the times when your eyes would glisten with astonishment at how well he could rap and sing or when he would comment at how he thought this line should sound and how that line should should be sung (especially after you had told him, albeit a little drunk, how hot he looked when he was so clearly passionate for what he did).

while he came to the closing line, confident he had closely nailed it, he met eyes with a displeased producer. quickly finishing up, mark questioned him, with a quirked brow, only to be met with a rather comical response. "your girlfriend's snoring too loud, i can't focus. can you ask her to leave, please?"

this wasn't the first time the two of you had encountered complaints like these and mark let out a low chuckle as he nodded in understanding. mark retrieved his phone and quickly dialed jeno, whom he knew would be awake, asking him to pick you up at the main entrance, however soon. after confirming the ride and returning his phone to his pocket, he took quick and quiet steps to the couch where you lay and slid an arm under your knees, another around your back, lifting you as gently as he could. mark felt you curl into him and he looked down to make sure you were still asleep, returning your mindless gestures with an involuntary smile.

he loaded you into the backseat of jeno's pristine mercedes, careful not to fold your legs in an uncomfortable way, and jeno returned the curt nod he had sent in thanks. the boy looked as he usually did at this time of night, messy hair and glasses just about slipping off his face. stretching the seatbelt across your frame, mark gave you a quick kiss to the forehead and shut the door as quietly as he could.

mark trudged back into the studio, gulping down a good amount of water before stationing himself in front of the mic once more. he felt another surge of motivation, the source this time being the strong desire to head back to the dorms as quickly as possible to cuddle you to sleep. his head should be brimming with thoughts on how to better approach his line but instead, he focused on the realization that whether you were there or not, you were always his motivation, his driving force.

✧ EIGHT (08) MONTHS AGO

the night was young, or rather the morning was, the clock on mark’s nightstand telling you it was just past two a.m.. your head was brought back to face mark’s, his finger guiding you by the chin, and he closed the distance between your lips with haste. it wasn’t like midnight makeout sessions were all that uncommon for the two of you but these days you felt that mark wanted something more from you. his kisses that were once filled with slow adoration and sweet smiles now felt rushed and with a new purpose that you couldn’t quite place. 

unknowingly, you stopped kissing him back, not realizing until he detached his face from yours. mark’s eyes were clouded with confusion and something you could only describe as lust, though you were scared to confront him about it. moments were shared just looking into each other’s eyes before his low voice broke the silence, “what are you thinking about?” 

you genuinely contemplated his question but were unable to come up with any string of words that could encompass the suspicions you had. so you replied with a nonchalant, “nothing,” knowing that he would take the hint that you were uncomfortable and stop before anything escalated.

it was shocking to you how mark had simply accepted that as an answer and returned closer, this time peppering small kisses to your jawline, down to your neck. you let out a small grunt at this but didn’t stop him nonetheless, opting for silence. his lips had reached the base of your collarbone and you felt him rearrange his hands so they were at the hem of your shorts, sliding two fingers under to smooth out the skin beneath. 

you felt he was about to pull down your shorts, hands already moving quickly, when you shot your hand up to his wrist. “stop,” you let out, weak and embarrassed, with the hope that you could dodge this situation out the window. he lifted his head ever so slightly to look you in the eyes and for a fleeting second you think you saw a hint of annoyance in his expression. well, that’s new.

“every time, y/n,” his voice sounded exasperated, “every time i think we’re getting somewhere you always stop me.” a few seconds elapsed as you drank in the understanding that he knew you were avoiding having sex with him. 

“is it me? and i doing something wrong?” you were surprised at how small he sounded, in stark contrast to the words he had said just before. his eyes were no longer hungry but instead, worried and distressed, and you had an inkling that this was somewhat of an inner debate for him as well.

“no, mark. it’s just- i’m not ready for it. i’m not mentally ready for it.” the words were slow and precise coming from you and you hoped that they delivered the amount of sincerity that you meant. you went on, continuing your thoughts, “i’ve always thought that i would wait until i was 20,” you paused, trying your best to stop your voice from shaking, “but i’ve always known that i want my first time to be with you.”

he took his arms from your hips and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. mark neared you once again but this time encircled his arms around your shoulders, bringing your head into his chest, the sobs that you had suppressed now being forced out by his sweet actions. he stroked your hair until your erratic heartbeat slowed and whispered into your ear, “it’s okay, baby, i understand.” 

it was the first night of few that you had gone to sleep feeling safe in his arms, now with his knowledge of your insecurities. mark, on the other hand, didn’t quite know how to feel, his thoughts keeping him up until the ungodly hours of morning before his mind surrendered to his tired body.

he knew, first and foremost, that your feelings were to be respected. he knew, more than anything, that forcing you to have sex with him was simply not an option, much less a possibility. but laying in bed that night he couldn’t help the unsettling feeling in his stomach of disappointment. he couldn’t help but think about how he had to wait until your twentieth birthday, at the very soonest, in order to fulfill the desires that had stampeded his mind since day one. however wrong he knew the situation to be, he couldn’t help but think that he really wasn’t going to wait and that maybe, just maybe, he could get away with switching things up.

✧ SIX (06) MONTHS AGO

you were at the dorms since seven in the evening, occupying yourself while waiting for mark to return from his hangout with his old school friends. it was late by now, nearing one in the morning, and as usual when situations like these would occur (as they often did these days), you found yourself in jeno’s room, sitting on one of the many cushions strewn about the floor in front of the large flatscreen tv, also propped up on the floor because jeno hadn’t bothered to buy a table for it to sit upon. the two of you were loud despite the quiet hour, yelling at the screen in hopes that it would give you some extra power up or increase your abilities at striking the opponent. also as usual, jeno would win, sending you into a long rant about how you would’ve won if only you had used the character that jeno used or if you hadn’t fallen off the map twice or if jeno just, didn’t play. he had retorted with something along the lines of, “i think that what you’re really trying to tell me is that you just suck at this,” and you had agreed good-naturedly, not wanting another full blown pillow fight to take place.

halfway through laughing at jeno for being too slow to pick the character you both were eyeing for the next round, the door to his room had opened, revealing a very worn out mark, his lips curved into a lopsided smile until he noticed your close proximity with jeno as he tried to strangle the controller out of your hand. you and jeno had paused, mid-strangle and mid-struggle, looking at mark with wild eyes, filled comically with surprise. 

“hey y/n, i- i’m back,” were the words that had left his mouth after he had conquered his flustered state. further venturing into jeno’s room, mark noted the childlike glances you and jeno stole at each other like children caught in the middle of a fight and wondered when the hell you guys could have possibly gotten so close. you were almost always busy in the daytime, as was jeno, and mark was reluctant to admit that maybe it was in those times where he was absent, in his free time that he used to save up solely for you, that the two of you had gotten well past acquainted with each other. a familiar feeling of guilt gnawed at the edge of mark’s mind as he realized that the time he spent on his sexcapades was also time you spent with other people that were not him. the jealousy must have outswept his guilty mindset because he gently prodded at your elbow and said, “my room?” before you could press play for yet another round. to his relief, you had nodded excitedly and turned to excuse yourself from jeno, the boy nodding in return and shooting knowing smiles in your direction.

it was no surprise to you that mark had already pinned you under him barely two minutes after settling into bed. these days, he was so kind and gentle with you that you were so sure that he might as well be the love of your life. it softened your heart that mark had really heeded to your preference to not have sex until you were twenty and you couldn’t help but feel even more prepared, now that you knew it was with someone so worthy of your trust. 

tonight though, you felt as if it were okay to break the little rule you had made for yourself, with the way mark was kissing you and the low thrum of excitement and longing in the pit of your stomach. you felt as though you didn’t need a number to signal when you were ready but rather a feeling, a sign, that made everything clear. you were so sure, oh so sure.

with your hands tracing the bottom hem of mark’s shirt, you held onto it and raised it up and above his head and outstretched arms, ridding him of the shirt and tossing it aside. your hands explored the vastness of his bare chest and broad shoulders, your eyes clouded with the one thing mark had always wanted to see, lust. his heart soared and pumped wildly in his chest as he watched the expression on your face slowly morph into confusion. switching his line of vision down to where your eyes were trained, he felt his heart drop, and his mind reeled at the sight of a hickey, proudly flushing the skin just under his collarbone, unabashedly. your eyes on him suddenly felt like they were burning holes through his composure, like they were carving up the secrets he had buried deep within his heart. he felt it all, his world of carefully planned lies crumbling under your stare and wilting at the touch of your fingers on his guilty skin.

you watched him gulp visibly and had to remind yourself for the fifth time in the last ten seconds that you didn’t give him that hickey, not today in his bed, not yesterday or the day before in yours. you pressed your index finger hard into the colored blotch, pushing him off of you, sitting up and gulping yourself before asking, “why is that there?” 

mark’s silence only increased your desire to throw up. your emotions had really took a sharp u-turn and instead of feeling like the luckiest girl in the world, you felt shitty and even more than that, pathetic. “mark, why is that there?” you repeated, and after being left in the dark once more you urged on, “who did that, mark?”

mark seemed to be at a loss at what to say, his mind bickering endlessly on whether to come clean or say that it was just an unfortunate burn mark. but after minutes of debating, he could only come up with one thing that felt the most appropriate to say, “i’m sorry, y/n.”

your tears fell, sliding down and across the crevices of your face unopposed. mark’s hand instinctively went to wipe them with the pads of his fingers but he found his wrist caught in your hand. again. you gently laid his hand back on the bed and reached for his shirt, tossing it in his direction, then almost ejecting yourself off the bed and out the room before you were stopped by mark’s incessant rambling in attempts to make you stay.

“y/n it’s exactly what you think, i’m not gonna lie. i know, this is bad. i’m bad and- and extremely at fault. i just- i thought i wanted more. but please, y/n- y/n please look at me.” 

the tears in your eyes made everything seem like distant blurbs but even if you could see clearly, you doubt that you wanted to see him. “i can’t, mark.”

“okay, yeah i get that. but please, trust me when i say that i’m so sorry and that- that they didn’t mean anything to me, nothing at all. and that i won’t mess up again- ever again if you just,” he paused, entirely sure that this wouldn’t work but going on nonetheless, “give me another chance, y/n.”

if your heart could break again, you’re sure it would’ve. the ache that had dulled in the last two minutes returned again, this time twofold, as you hung your head low, back still facing the boy. “they,” you muttered as though it were a foreign word, “they as in... more than one.”

mark chastised himself at the minor slip up but felt that it was better anyways to fully come clean. he let go of his shirt that he was harshly gripping and slid off the bed, crossing the room quickly and grasping you by the shoulders to turn you towards him. you let out something that could only be described as a sad yelp and pushed his arms away, gently. “this isn’t something we can just talk about, mark. no matter who or how many times or even how many. all i know is that it’s over, we’re over.”

with that, you left the dorms, scurrying to get out of the damned place, ignoring jaemin’s worried glances and jeno’s ‘are you okay’s?’ you were anything but okay. you were falling apart with each step you took, farther and farther away from the boy that had once made your heart whole, the boy that had also crushed it in his bare hands, the sharp edges scraping his flesh apart like glass. you walked the long two-hour walk home, sore feet yelling at you but you were deaf to everything except the memory of mark. the elatedness he had made you feel and the crippling pain he inflicted on you not a second after, it was all coming down in fast breaths and shaky hands. you felt as if you were on a rollercoaster, the cart unfastening itself from the rails just as it hit the climax, the only way to return to the ground was to plummet to your death.

✧ TWO (02) MONTHS AGO

mark was really uninterested in his cereal but there was nothing else in the pantry that could fill his stomach. jaemin enters the kitchen as well, but says nothing to mark as he also sits along the counter with his own bowl of cereal. both the boys sit in silence... that is, until you enter seven minutes later, when the boys are just about sipping the sweet and lukewarm leftover milk. you’re carrying two large brown paper bags, one in each hand, and your back is turned towards the pair, unaware of their presence. just as your about to turn and set one of the bags onto the counter where the boys are sat, jeno enters, also unaware of them, and slips two arms around your waist, pressing a soft kiss right under your ear before pulling back, taking one of the paper bags with him. he turns to set it on the counter but stops halfway when he sees mark and realizes what he had done in his presence, eyes wide.

mark was still uninterested in his cereal but the little show of affection he just witnessed suddenly made the now gray-ish milk seem infinitely more intriguing. he opts to stare at it instead, swirling his spoon around and trying to mull over his thoughts. his head was about to blow with all the new information. just seeing you for the first time in four months would’ve been enough to catch a sob in his throat but knowing you had moved on? that packed one hell of a punch.

you finished unpacking the contents of the first bag into the fridge and proceeded to get the other one, folding the bag along its creases, but were met with three boys staring at each other in silence. collecting your expression to show less concern and more surprise, you thought that maybe it was about time you confronted him, after all, you felt that you had moved on well enough. still, parts of you thought that it was too risky, that your heart would prove you wrong and show you that you really weren’t fully over him. but looking at the boy himself, for the first time in months, your heart calmed itself. maybe what it was seeking was closure. 

the corners of your mouth inadvertently edged upwards into a small smile as you place a hand on the counter, leaning into it. “hi, mark. it’s been awhile.” the boy wasn’t even looking at you, but rather at what you assumed used to be a bowl of cereal. he raised his head slowly, looking unsure, but locked his eyes with yours nonetheless. a small smile, not unlike yours, was plastered across his face as his voice came out small, “hey, y/n. it’s nice to see you again.” 

you gave him another light smile before taking the other bag in your hands to empty it out as well. in all honesty, you had no idea mark was going to be at the dorms today. and it’s not like you were actively avoiding him, it’s just that jeno and you opted to spend time at your place rather than the dorms, just for the privacy. you wondered why mark never thought of that when you were with him. maybe it just wasn’t important to him at the time.

shutting the fridge door with a firm push, you turned once again to be met with the three boys in silence. jaemin’s eyes were frantically looking back and forth from jeno and you to mark, seemingly taking on the role as spectator. in a sense, you felt that this may have been entirely inconsiderate on your part. the boys hadn’t said much to you regarding mark since the breakup but from what you gathered, they knew the basis of what had happened. jeno knew for sure, being the one to comfort you and bring you down from your hysterical state but it was odd to know that the rest of the boys were also aware of mark’s actions.

you felt bad for him, however incredulous that could sound. he was a kind boy, no doubt in that, and yes, he cheated on you but even then, you never questioned his love for you. in some heinous sense, it was genuine, albeit also twisted. perhaps he was exactly what you needed to learn that love wasn’t always just a rush of feelings; it wasn’t always the beating of your heart thrumming in your ears, and very rarely was it the nervous flush across cheeks paired with shy glances. love, more than anything, was trust and respect. it was long-withstanding patience, over greed and over self-indulgence. he was there to teach you that love was both the big picture and the little gestures and everything in between and that you had simply fallen for the little sliver of true love he had offered. mark would never be the love of your life but for once you were fine with the fact that he was your first.

turning on your heel, you exited the kitchen, head cleared and heart light because the hole in your heart no longer felt hallowed and empty. it was full now, healed with only a scar to remind you of the highs and lows of the boy that once held your heart in his hands followed by the boy that did the same now. mark’s feelings were beyond you, a figment of your past you didn’t bother to unearth. sauntering into jeno’s room, you set up the game console you brought over, with nothing on your mind other than jeno, jeno, and jeno.

✧ PRESENT

if mark swears that he loved you then, he isn’t sure how he could describe what he feels now. he knows it’s stupid that he doesn’t want to move on and how he’s let himself fall farther into the idea of you even as you slip farther and farther away from him. he is lovesick in every way that he isn’t allowed to be.

mark’s grip on the black leather pillow loosens as he tells the producer with a rushed tone that he doesn’t want this. he doesn’t want to be in nct dream anymore. he tells the producer that he feels it should be time to focus more on his new projects, like superm or future nct 127 activities. he doesn’t tell the producer that, more than the previously stated reasons, he doesn’t want to see you sneaking into jeno’s room after dinner at the dorms and he doesn’t want to sit in his room, alone with the sounds of your voice blooming through the thin walls and spilling beneath the cracks under his closed door. he doesn’t tell the producer or his manager or any of the higher ups at his company that he doesn’t want to keep up the facade of looking okay whenever you strike up small talk or ask him about how he’s doing. he doesn’t tell anyone, and barely even admits to himself, that he loves the way you still smile at him and how his heart speeds up ever so slightly whenever your eyes would meet. the least he can feel is ashamed of himself and the most is hatred and disgust; each time he hears your name in passing or sees your face for a split second he’s reminded of how little he feels as a whole in comparison to his feelings towards you, good or bad.

it’s later that night when mark returns to the dorms for one last time. he swipes makeup remover under his eyes, revealing the dark circles and the pimples that had sprouted from the new layers of makeup that were needed to cover his fatigue. mark runs his fingers through his disheveled hair and decides that showering is for tomorrow, that today, he would let himself fall apart one more time. 

he dips the edge of his bed, looking down at his hands to keep some sort of semblance. breathing ragged, he hopes that no one comes to interrupt the pain he has laid out for himself. he’s worn out from within and he prays for a day when he can feel okay without having to dissolve himself within his workload. he waits for that very day when he can fall asleep without the need of exhaustion. 

feeling around the duvet, his fingers clasp around his phone to check the time but is instead met with a notification that says: one year anniversary♡. his breath hitches, heart lodged in this throat.

tossing his phone back into the messy abyss of his bed, mark lays down on his back, lost in the vast emptiness of the ceiling, and asks himself for the nth time if it was all worth it. the petty lies that held so much more meaning than he’d let himself feel. the desire that clawed through all his righteous thoughts and dared to disrupt the pretty glow in your eyes. the pointless girls he used to chase his highs, the same highs that he would fall from in tears and sweat that drenched his soul, suffocating him yet drowning out his sorrows. he shuts his eyes, your hearty laughter ringing in his ears, over and over again, like a mantra he could never tear himself from. and for the nth time, mark admits that no, none of it was worth it. 

and so mark bathes in the silence of his dimly lit room, in remembrance of why he feels nothing and everything at the same time.

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

✧ edited end note — hello you, yes you who just read this. this piece was my first published fic and it has such a deep hold on my heart. reading through a few months later, it makes me happy to see growth in my writing and growth in my blog. thank you for stopping by. wishing you lots of love, rouiyan.