#sucky writing and titles are my thing

[blye-flower]

I don't even watch m!raculous lady bug like that so I could be wrong, I really hope I'm wrong, but why would they have it so lady bug and chat noir are partners throughout the series, and have it so Adrien is not even in the final battle of the series??? Like it's the series is called the adventures of lady bug and chat noir, but the focus is solely on Marinette and Lady bug that I feel like her sole partner is pretty much thrown to the wayside ://

[svt-rosalie]

. . . ♡ MAMA ! ? 🐚 2023 ★ ﾟ๑

ׁ ׅ ୨ ❪ moments! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪

© 2023 , svt-rosalie rosalie masterlist!

warnings! mentions of anxiety, mentions of a passed family member, woozi and rosie being the cutest couple korea knows, speeches, sucky writing

MAMA 2023 was the award show to see if you are a Rosalie stan! She was nominated in four categories and stole the night, as she should! Rosalie won in all four categories she was nominated in, including; Worldwide Fan Choice, Best Female Artist, Song Of The Year, and Best Music Video.

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ROSIE’S BEST MOMENTS !

— rosie is the biggest extrovert and loves talking to the other idols! It causes a big of mayhem for her members but who cares? not rosalie.

— you can see rosalie at some points sneaking over to le sserafim’s seating spot and talking to all of the girls and laughing loudly that you almost hear it in the background

— on the first day when they were late, rosalie kept trying not to laugh at the realization and got caught on the screen and got very embarrassed

— rosalie was dancing to almost every single song preformed especially bouncy by ateez, that’s her ass shaking song come on guys

— she started crying when woozi gave his speech for album of year and had to be consoled by seungcheol. and then cried even harder at wonwoo and seungkwan’s speech wishing only the best for the boys.

— there was multiple times woozi and rosie were caught on screen talking and holding hands during random parts of the award show

— the screams that came afterwards were oscar worthy! yunjin of le sserafim was definitely not one of those screams

— rosalie was able to perform breathe with woozi playing the piano.

— she preformed in a beautiful light blue gown, her sister’s favorite color

— every time rosie won an award the boys were hyping her up so hard and embarrassing her so hard, it was so cute though to see her laugh and playfully scold them

— when rosalie won song of the year, she had jihoon come up as well to give a speech with her

— WOOZI’S SPEECH: “Breathe is a song of comfort. It’s a song that’s suppose to let you know that it’s okay, and that someone cares. This song is for Rosalie, a girl who continues to put on a smile no matter the circumstances! Ever since we met, she never went a day without laughing and trying to make other people feel happy, regardless of how she was feeling. She deserved to know that it was okay to be upset and to need a second to breathe.

I hope people will continue to find comfort in this song and support Rosalie till the end.”

— she definitely didn’t cry when she got home that night remembering his words

୭ৎ ࣪ ׅ ROSIE WINS SONG OF THE YEAR!

Rosalie was in her own world at this point, the award show had been going on for what felt like hours which in her case you can’t blame her. It was just one of those days where she would rather be cuddled up to her animals reading a good romance book rather than sit here, waiting for a event to decide if she or her group we’re good enough for the title of “Album of the Year”. But she was grateful, 2022 and 2023 had been a tough year and she was happy she was even nominated for a category.

Always her worst critic.

Though it was finally time for the ‘Song of the Year’ category, one that she had been anticipating for a while . . . more like the whole award show. Rosalie was nervous and couldn’t help but clutch the person’s hand that was nexts to her, Jihoon.

Rosalie lets out a sigh of relief and her worries subside, for the mean time.

Then the (dreaded) words came from the announcers lips “Samsung Galaxy Song of the Year goes to….”

Rosalie didn’t know what she was stressing about. It was as if her brain couldn’t decide which thing to worry about the most; what if I don’t win, what if I do win and so forget my speech, what if I trip going up the stage, what if?

All of that seemed to fade away when the words “Breathe, Rosalie!”

Rosalie’s eyes widen comically and was captured on the big screen for all the other idols and fans to see (which they found adorable) she covered her mouth in surprise and walked up the stage never letting go of Woozi’s hand. This was just as much his award as it was hers. He wrote the song, he produced it, all Rosalie did was sing it.

Rosie made it center stage, right there for all eyes.

“Ahh, I don’t know what to say! I had a speech for incase I won but I didn’t think I would so i forgot it.” Rosie said pouting. Anyone could tell she was nervous, you didn’t need to be close to her to notice the shakiness in her hands as one held the golden MAMA award and the other holding onto Woozi like a lifeline.

Rosie took a deep breath in and out before continuing, “I never expected to get an award like this and I am so so thankful to CARATs and to everyone who stood by me and supported me and this song. This song is everything to me and I’m so glad it’s getting recognized for what it’s worth.”

Woozi stepped a bit closer to Rosie at this point and held her hand a bit tighter.

“There is one person I would like to thank from the bottom of my heart. . . my little sister who wished for this day with me. We would watch the award shows together when I had first debuted and she dreamed I would win an award like this for her one day.” Rosie looked up trying to avoid letting the tears roll down, and took another deep breath in . . . and out.

“She would say ‘Unnie! Please win a big award so I can brag to all my friends that I have the most popular older sister in the world!’ and at that time, I didn’t think it would be a reality. But here I am!”

The crowd screamed for her as she held up the award, Woozi letting out a chuckle beside her as she did.

“My little Sarang, My forever Valentine — I did it! Aren’t you proud of your most popular awesome sister?” She asked rhetorically looking up the roof of the building. Breathe, in . . . and out. “I’ll be sure to remember this day forever and make more music people can find comfort in it as I did. Thank you!”

taglist — @angie-x3 @alixnsuperstxr @allthings-fandoms

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[quinnkdev]

My Failed Translations for other French RPG Maker Games: "Duplo", "Exercice de Style", "Dark Soul.Ace"

So, while looking through my games folder on my computer, I stumbled across three RPG Maker 2003 titles I'd like to briefly talk about.

A few years ago - nearly a decade by this point, most likely - I was such an enormous fan of Mortis Ghost's work that I was effectively scraping the bottom of the barrel. Comics and non-game works, but also: Short jam-games, and group-efforts, and shitposts...

Which brings me to my numerous failed translation efforts of those kinds of games. More under the cut.

Dark Soul.Ace

I'll head Dark Soul.Ace, the shitpost of the bunch, off at the pass:

I played it, and didn't think it was particularly interesting or funny.

I looked through the code, and, at the time, was confused, and mixed with the fact I didn't find it entertaining, a translation never got off the ground. I had no passion for it.

Below is the "trailer" for this shitpost game. Be advised that it's VERY late 00s-era humour, and really hasn't aged gracefully.

It gets more interesting from here, though:

Duplo

As far as I remember, this was a jam game Mortis Ghost made together with Exaheva, another comics artist he was collaborating with at the time. Exaheva is still around these days, and she seems a good sort!

Duplo was a strange little beast. Clocking in at only around 15 minutes of playtime, it's a game wherein the protagonist (whose name escapes me atm) lives in a sucky town in a sucky world where people are jerks to him - and then finds a hat that, when put on, transfers him to a version of that same world where people are actually nice to him and respect him!

My translation of this one actually got a decent bit further than the one of the other games I named. My main issue were the colloquialisms it used, which I could much more easily push through now.

If I had more spare time, I'd actually finish it - but while this game is only slightly edgy by today's standards, I still feel like there's not really a demand for "Duplo" to be brought to the English language.

Exercice de Style

This one hurts to admit as my great, big failure. For many reasons!

Those of you who have read some of my Patreon posts about An Outcry's story will know that I have a fondness for the French Oulipo, a kind of writer's association (founded in the 1960s) whose main philosophy is the use of intricate restrictions in order to focus the potency of a written work.

Well, one writer under that umbrella was Raymond Queneau! And he wrote a short book called "Style Exercises", in which he told the same, simple story of a man having an argument on a bus in several different writing and narration styles.

And in ~2009, the Oniromancie forums, as instructed by Exaheva, did the same with RPG Maker 2003.

The "vanilla" story is really simple: You're a plucky RPG hero living in a house with your mum and your sister, when, ALAS! A slime attacks a girl outside! You kill it, and the day is saved.

And along this game's 15 variations, this story would be turned on its head, and retold in several interesting fashions. There's one told from the perspective of a slime's family; One where everyone is a featureless cube; one where the entire thing is an action-RPG on the overworld rather than turn-based one; a dystopian sci-fi one; one made BY Mortis Ghost and one made in the STYLE of OFF - hell, even one that's just a visual novel!

"That's so interesting!", I hear you say. "I want to play that!" Well...

The reason I didn't finish my translation of this one is unfortunately, multifold.

A lot of the text in these 15 game-variations is hard-coded - or rather, hard-printed onto assets. Translating that means translating and editing a staggering amount of image assets without interfering with their size or dimensions, which is a nightmarish edge to walk on.

Some of these have really not aged gracefully - specifically the VN-variation I felt was really ill-conceived and had a incestual ending (????????)

A few of these game variations are VERY buggy. Specifcally the one Mortis Ghost had a strong hand in - the "abstract horror" one - has a glitch where the walls cease to function, and generally-speaking, the game deals very badly with finishing one of the variations and returning to the scene-selection screen. I don't... want to scour through code that I didn't make to fix all of that. Straight-up.

Now, do I suggest you check this game out? Sure, if you can find it. I'm purposefully not providing a download link here because I'm unsure where Mortis or the other contributors stand with this often silly and sometimes ugly thing, but I do think it's absolutely worth being checked out for people who love weird and obscure RPG Maker 2003 titles.

imo, it's worth it alone for the surreal horror piece that Mortis created with the story. It's a little silly, and you can tell it's not taking itself 100% seriously, but somehow it manages to be genuinely disquieting at the same time.

[medea10]

My Review of Cherry Magic

(short for: Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?!)

Note from the reviewer: Hi everyone! Sorry it's been several months since I last posted a review. It has been a hard and stressful time for me. I've had to endure a surgery, two infections, my younger cat having a heart attack and dying, a family member have her cancer come back, and this one condition of mine where I had symptoms plague me for an entire month. As you can see, I had no interest in writing reviews. Now that a lot of this turbulence has passed, I'm ready to get back into the swing of things. With all of that unpleasantness out of the way, let's get at it.

-----

When looking at this title, your first thought is this is an Isekai, a BL, and has a run-time of 5 minutes per episode.

As it turns out, this is a work-place comedy and has a normal running time of 22+ minutes. But it’s still a BL. That’s good enough for me!

Kiyoshi Adachi is 30 years old and still a virgin. Apparently, Adachi has acquired some weird power upon turning 30. Whenever he touches someone, he can hear the thoughts in their head. Adachi actually finds this power lame and also annoying in cramped places like crowded trains. One morning at his job, he accidentally brushed up against the handsome and charismatic employee, Yuuichi Kurosawa. Turns out, Kurosawa has a crush on Adachi.

Despite having some perverted thoughts about Adachi, Kurosawa really doesn’t act upon them. Yes, he invites Adachi over and yes, it’s a little odd that he has an extra pair of pajamas that are his exact size. But at least Kurosawa doesn’t do things to his crush that would chase him away. As for Adachi, this must be a big shock. But is he seeing this workmate in a new light? Could you even say that he may like Kurosawa?

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: The sucky thing about BL animes is that the licensing company usually never dubs it. I know there are dubbed ones out there, but it sometimes feels like a why even bother looking. And I was ready to write this off as yet another BL anime that’s to be left alone. Crunchyroll released an English dub to this several months after the anime’s premier. When it comes to the sub, I’m glad I’m getting the opportunity to hear some of these men again. I only know the two main cast members for one big recent role and almost nothing else. So, this always helps me. Plus, this cast also has Makoto Furukawa and Ami Koshimizu. You cannot go wrong here!

Yes, there’s an actual female in the show. She was seen as a possible rival of love, but it just turns out she’s just a big shipper of Adachi and Kurosawa. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Adachi is played by Chiaki Kobayashi (known for Stark on Frieren and Yuu on Sing Yesterday for Me)

*Kurosawa is played by Ryouta Suzuki (Ishigami on Kaguya-sama and Ryouhei on Tsurune)

ENGLISH CAST: *Adachi is played by Daman Mills (known for Amethio on Pokemon Horizons, Monaka on DB Super, Yakov on Yuri on Ice, Osamu on Haikyuu, Shin on Misfit of Demon Academy, and Ginshi on Tokyo Ghoul :re)

*Kurosawa is played by Dio Garner

SHIPPING: I have to wonder about Adachi for a moment. I know it’s clear that he’s a 30-year-old virgin. But not every relationship is built around sex. My question is, has Adachi ever been in a romantic relationship prior to meeting Kurosawa? By the looks of it, he really didn’t show much interest in hanging around other people. Even a small group of coworkers make him a little tense. It might have to do with this recent power that he has. There was also a flashback of something that happened to Adachi. It didn’t end well obviously. But I digress.

Time to open up a bag of cheesy popcorn and talk about these two boys.

Kurosawa’s mind is essentially an open book for Adachi. He knows Kurosawa has a burning passion for him. But Kurosawa doesn’t try to act upon his biggest urges. He gets an opportunity to kiss Adachi, but just does a safe kiss on the forehead. Modesty or just trying to not to be so obvious. Halfway into the series, there’s a confession and an acceptance. Seeing them move fast even for a 12-episode series makes me wonder if this relationship is going to go further like them sleeping together. And with that said, what would happen if Adachi loses his virginity? Will he lose his power? Oh, but I’m over-thinking things here. I’ve got another ship to discuss here.

Wait, what?! Are we going down the Junjou-Sekaiichi route?

Tsuge is Adachi’s long-time friend. He’s a writer and surprise, surprise a virgin like his friend. And just like Adachi, Tsuge got hit with the supernatural as whoever he has skin contact with, he can read their minds. Tsuge winds up making friends with a delivery boy, Minato. I know the boy is only coming back to see the kitty Tsuge recently adopted, but we all know what’s up. Unlike Adachi and Kurosawa, these two had no interest whatsoever at the beginning. It felt like Minato didn’t really see Tsuge as a friend until it was close to the end of the series. And Tsuge was a bit quicker with his feelings.

ENDING: By the halfway point, Adachi and Kurosawa are an item and went on their first awkward date. What comes next? Total honesty! Yeah, Adachi has been holding a pretty big secret from Kurosawa and that’s him being able to read thoughts when there’s skin-to-skin contact. Adachi almost let the secret out on accident once or twice, but could pass it off as one of them being too drunk. On Kurosawa’s birthday, there was an event for work. Adachi invited his friend Tsuge and Tsuge invited his friend Minato. This is when Adachi learns that Tsuge recently got the same power as Adachi.

Okay, so I guess that means it’s just the same power of being able to read minds. That just means Japan’s got a mass horde of 30-year-old virgins reading people’s thoughts. But of course, it can only work if there’s skin-to-skin contact. Depending on your life, you could go your whole life without noticing you have this power. But I digress.

Another effect to the power is that Adachi and Tsuge are able to communicate telepathically. The boys learn that this power led them to someone they have feelings for. Of course, Adachi can’t enjoy this moment of clarity. Kurosawa sees the two boys standing together and got jealous. Jealousy is Kurosawa’s ugliest trait. He is jealous of nearly every person Adachi talks to. After Tsuge leaves, Adachi reveals to Kurosawa that he has the mind-reading power and has had it for a while now. Thankfully, it didn’t cause a rift in the relationship. Both boys seem to love each other just the same if not more so. Although, Kurosawa is a bit embarrassed knowing that Adachi has kinda been prying in his mind for a while now.

Okay, the big reveal for Adachi is already out in the open and there’s three or four episodes left. What now? Something kinda huge! Work life kinda comes in and sticks a wrench in things. The higher-ups noticed how much Adachi has improved as of recent. You can chalk that up to Adachi now being able to read minds and the side-help he’s been getting from Kurosawa. But the big bosses wanted to give Adachi an opportunity at one of their other branches in Nagasaki. And currently, they are in a different city. I honestly forget where. It really felt like Adachi had no interest in doing this and not just because of Kurosawa. So, he tip-toes around the idea by speaking to another colleague about taking up the opportunity or not. This did not sit well with Kurosawa when he learned about what Adachi did. Kurosawa was not only mad that he didn’t discuss this situation with him, but that he spoke with another coworker about it.

Meanwhile, let’s look at Tsuge’s situation. Unlike his friend, Tsuge is not in a relationship with Minato and there’s an air of uncertainty of whether Minato feels the same way as Tsuge. Plus, Minato has got other things on his mind like dancing. He has the chance to go professional and be in a dance troupe. Tsuge has been a real big supporter of Minato. He even got him to an important performance when his bike ran out of gas. This looks like things are going to end nicely. Ehhh…that was until Tsuge reveals to Minato that he had a bit of an ulterior motive for doing so much to help him.

This is where we’re at. Adachi and Tsuge have not spoken to the guys they like for a couple of days. Both for different reasons, but both for stuff they said and did. The Minato situation is that Minato couldn’t talk about joining this dance troupe as it was sudden and secret until the reveal, so boy’s been busy. Tsuge showed up at the debut with a gift of new sneakers and hell yeah, Minato wanted to see Tsuge. Both boys reveal how they feel about each other currently. It’s looking good.

As for Adachi and Kurosawa, Adachi is on the 10-day business trip to Nagasaki and Kurosawa is just miserable. Actually, both boys are miserable! They both said and did things that they regret over a work issue. It looked as though Adachi was ghosting Kurosawa until Kurosawa got a hand-written letter from Adachi. More can be said in a letter than in a text message. Kurosawa winds up making the long trip to Nagasaki and waited for Adachi outside his hotel. Not only are they made up, they look like they’re about to fuck. Did they?

Oh, yes ma’am these boys fucked. Huh? I wonder if Adachi or Tsuge have sex if their mind-reading powers will disappear. Oop, right on cue! Yeah, Adachi lost it. It’s a weird feeling, but I think most of his thoughts are of trying to open this new location in Nagasaki and wanting to be with Kurosawa. And…ooh, I’m too excited because the end result made me very happy.

Rings. Vows. FUCKING WEDDING WITH EVERYONE THERE! Happy ending!

Sorry, after watching Yuri on Ice all those years ago, I’m still going to lose my shizzle when I see two boys who love each other exchange rings. God, I miss the fuck out of that show. Oh well, at least I know that we will one day get the Yuri on Ice movie that has been promised to us that is on its way since 2017.

I am now receiving word from some random place that the Yuri on Ice movie has been dropped by Studio Mappa. FUUUUUUUUUUU-

But as for this series, I liked it. I might even pick up the manga to quench this thirst of mine. I’m wondering how a story like this continues as both of these boys are now happily married. Unless the story decides to cover more with Tsuge and Minato. I think I’ll just check out the live-action drama that aired in 2023. Yeah, believe it or not, the live-action came out before the anime. I see a lot of hype surrounding this particular title. It’s no surprise that a compilation film was announced immediately after the season ended. That’s sometimes a good sign that more content is on the way. I think those who are into BL anime, this might be a good watch. And for those long-time Yuri on Ice holdouts…I’m pissed off too. But maybe, take your mind off the anger and check this puppy out.

If you would like to watch Cherry Magic, Crunchyroll not only has the anime, but also the live-action drama as well.

[iloveyou-writers]

Hey Hannah! <3 I need some advice!

I know first drafts are supposed to suck, just get it out, make it exist, but I still get so scared of messing the story up? I love my story and my characters so much, it's so magical and warm when I daydream about the plot, I get so excited to reach certain scenes, but I'm scared that if I write it wrong or just not good then I'll lose that magic feeling and it'll just become a neutral thing to edit until it's read worthy. My sucky brain tells me there's only one first time to write the scene out, and I'm scared the excitement for those scenes will disappear once they actually come to exist on paper.

But I know this is such an unproductive way of thinking, since it's preventing me from actually getting stuff done. Any ideas how I can combat it?? xx

I'm not sure what works for others but the way that I combat being unsure is blasting music.

I have a very loud inner voice, so sometimes the only way to drown it out is putting headphones on and blasting out my ear with music that is louder than the voice so that I can focus on what I'm trying to do.

This will not work for everyone, so if anyone else has tips, please feel free to drop them here!

I have in the past had someone recommend calling your document "the worst version of [title]" so that it's like you're permitting yourself to be terrible, so that's another thing that's worked for some people.

[callipraxia]

So, ‘fun’ (loud whisper: not fun) fact about me: if the barometric pressure goes up, I tend to get rather awful headaches. They’re usually only about a three or four on the pain scale, nothing like the stress-induced migraines I used to get in high school, but they come with a whole host of other sucky symptoms and, crucially, do not seem to respond to medicine at all. They’re just there until they aren’t, leaving my coordination shot, my mental processing excruciatingly slow, my attention span next to non-existent, my perception of time completely divorced from the clock…etc etc. Not good.

I’ve been grappling with one all day today, and it’s only about 60% gone, which is why I won’t judge the quality of the writing idea I had earlier right now…but if these things have an upside, it’s that my thinking makes all kinds of strange connections it normally wouldn’t, providing interesting material to think about, if I am lucky and can remember anything about it *after* the headache….gotta start keeping a ‘try to remember to jot down headache thoughts’ notebook or something. In any case, today’s random connection was between “fountain pen ink colors voted into the Diamine lineup by the r/fountainpens subreddit in recent years” and “hey, I could make that the title of a one-shot!”

Three of the four I know about worked quite well. “Earl Grey” and “Writer’s Blood” both could go nicely enough with episodes of younger Ford, and “Sailor’s Warning” can be made to work for something at just about any point in the GF timeline. The only not-obvious one is… “Celadon Cat.” I know I spent several hours of my headache musing over what I could possibly make that one into. I do not remember if I ever came up with an idea, but anyone who can is welcome to it.

[blossom-hwa]

Happy 5 Anniversary 🎉🎉🎉 for the drabble game Eric + lifeguard au

thank you for the request! I often see you in my notifications with your reblogs, so thank you for all the support as well :) I hope you enjoy this!

5 year anniversary drabble game: send me a Stray Kids/TXT/Golden Child/Ateez/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

(let it be known that I’m not familiar with lifeguarding at all... I just kinda searched up lifeguard horror stories and came up with this. apologies if it isn’t accurate!)

REQUESTS OPEN!!

~

Title: Lifeguarding Nightmares

Pairing: Eric x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 692

Warnings: mentions of drowning, cursing

~

By the time you get off your shift, you think you might be seeing red, and not in a good way. You ignore Juyeon’s concerned look as you exchange places with him on the lifeguard chair and set off across the pool deck, slamming the door to the office open then shut behind you. 

“Woah, woah!” Someone grabs you by the shoulders and you nearly flip out right then and there before you realize it’s Eric, just Eric. A bit of rage drains out of you just at the warmth of his touch, of the concerned look he’s leveling at you. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”

Your words come out more like a screech and a sob rather than actually words. “I fucking hate this job!”

In silence, Eric wipes away the tears you didn’t even notice had begun flowing down your cheeks and sits you down in the hidden corner you all use for mental breakdowns. “Tell me about it.”

Between an angry mess of tears and whispered rage and sobs, you tell your boyfriend about the terrible day you’ve just had. Two kids pretending to drown. A third kid who was actually drowning whose parents were only found after you rescued her, chilling with stupid snacks at the stupid concessions stands. More kids running around the deck, more parents asking why their too-short children couldn’t go on the slide, someone vomiting on the deck...

“Okay, I don’t hate this job,” you say when you’ve finally calmed down, Eric still studiously wiping a few last tears from your face. “It’s fine. But holy shit, today was just...” You trail off, too tired to come up with the words to describe it. 

“I get it,” he says quietly, dabbing the last of the wetness from your eyes. “It’s okay.”

You lean your head on his shoulder, brain spent. For a minute you just sit like that, breathing in tandem, letting the headache of your day slowly begin to fade away. 

“Sorry,” you eventually mumble. “I’m just so tired. How was your day?”

“Not bad,” Eric replies, and from his voice you know he isn’t pretending - it really wasn’t bad. You huff a little sigh. At least one of you had an okay day. “I think the most interesting thing was some kid throwing a tantrum about not being tall enough to use the big slide, but his parents were reasonable about it.”

“Would it were that the adults in my section were as easily reasoned with,” you mutter. 

“Yeah.” He snorts a little laugh. “I don’t know how some of these people actually grew up.”

“God, for real.” You groan. “Sorry for crying all over you.”

“I was going to ignore the first time you apologized, but since this is the second time, I’m going to address it.” Eric pulls you up and gives you a playful stink eye. “I know you suck at thinking about yourself, but you don’t have to apologize for everything. Your day was sucky and it’s understandable that you had this reaction to it. I told you already that I’m always here to listen to you, and I mean it.” He holds up a hand as you open your mouth to speak. “And don’t you dare apologize for apologizing.”

You close your mouth, smiling sheepishly. ��Oops.”

Eric grins. It makes you feel a little bit better. “Are you still feeling up to dinner tonight?” he asks. “We can stay in instead of going out, or cancel altogether.”

Your first instinct is to say no, it’s fine, we can still go out, but maybe Eric has actually instilled a bit of self-servingness in you because you think twice. While you don’t want to cancel your plans altogether, you’re not sure you feel up to eating in public with a whole bunch of other people around you. Not now, and probably not later, either. “Can we do takeout?” you ask quietly. “I’m still feeling kinda tired.”

“Sure.” He squeezes your hand. “Let’s go home, yeah? A shower will probably help you feel better.”

“Yeah.” Your smile grows a little wider, and this time, it doesn’t feel like a chore. “Thanks.”

[creativenicocorner]

2022 Writing Retrospective

2022 was a very interesting year. It certainly went places. It was a year in which I took a slight break from Trollhunters, but also the year I first dipped my toes into writing Discworld fanfic, which has been an incredible and fun san box to play in so far, and I sincerely look forward to posting more. 

I’m also fine with admitting that I certainly didn’t write as much as I would have liked in 2022. But that was mainly due to getting a rather intense and draining job which left me with not as much energy as I would have liked. Because of that I found myself making piece with the concept of just writing with less perfectionism in mind...this might lead to not as much polished stuff published in the future...I’ve made peace with imperfections, and hopefully (while always striving to do as well as I can) I can also be less hard on myself when works are less than perfect when published. In short this might be the dawn of what a dear friend of mine titled “The Sketchbook Era” haha  

We’ll see 

2022 STATS 

2022 Total number of.. User Subscriptions: 14 Kudos: 261 Comment Threads: 85 Bookmarks: 56 Subscriptions: 69 (hehe) Word Count: 60,501 Hits: 4,230

Top five hits/fics of 2022:

1) Unbecoming 2 Electric Boogaloo 2) Trial Runs and Errors 3) Small Soppy Snippets 4) The Runaway's Gamble 5) The Start of a New Story

2023 Expectations? Goals? Some sort of word like that...

While I am no longer in a sucky soul destroying work place job, I have a lot of personal projects planned that I’m working on, and a number of ideas in mind to help further my own career. I hope I’ll be able to find a good balance this year between personal/RL situations, and this lovely hobby. I want to grow as a person, a better person, I want so many things for my future...but that can only be possible if I plant the right seeds, and be kind to myself along the way. 

There’s a number of Discworld fics I want to crank out, and personal HC and ideas I would love to share and explore. Especially the relationship between Sam Vimes and Moist von Lipwig, as well as the Sto Helit family. I think about them a normal amount lol

I’d also like to tentatively step back into the ToA world, but it’ll probably be more of a wiggling shuffle. It would be grand if I could manage to get a chapter of either Unbecoming 2, Alto Mare , or Terpsichore out (hell it would be phenomenal if I finally finish ACT I of Terpsichore!! But that’s shooting for the stars lol) we’ll see...no promises though  

I’d also like to return to some of my DnD character fics. Between the two DnD fics I have so far there’s a good chance I might be able to publish something for Come on Eileen! though the next chapter may or may not be just a full comic instead of posted in its experimental script form.

 I’d like to explore comic making more, especially with what I have planned in the more professional future.   

And that’s that on that I suppose! 

Thank you for reading this far, and happy 2023, may it bring softness and good fortune to all. 

Stay awesome out there

Best wishes

[thewordworrier]

I Mean This - I’m Okay

Word Count: 6k and change. Notes: ~ Title from: I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance [obviously] ~ Yup, Shelly’s still Tour Manager. That’s her job! ~ This is my second Reader attempt. This one was a little easier! ~ Still not an easy thing to write, these definitely come out slower than other stuff I write, so please, continue to be a bit gentle with me. ~ I’m pretty sure this is gender neutral, and reasonably vague on age, but you can assume that Reader is old enough to maybe travel alone? I don’t think it really matters too much there. ~ I’m not sure if I’ll put this one on AO3 either.

- - - - - 

Setting: The Black Parade Tour - possibly before ProRev - I think. Your day was dragging, and nothing overly interesting had happened. This was normal. Everything was normal. Until you started to make your way home that is. As soon as you found yourself a seat on the bus home, you pulled your phone out of your pocket. The amount of notifications on the screen made you nearly drop it. You never had that many notifications; what on earth was going on? You spent a few minutes combing through the mentions, you managed to finally get to your inbox, where there was at least one new message waiting for you. Before you had the chance to investigate it though, your bus reached your stop and you had to finish making your way home. After a quick stop at the nearby grocery store for something quick for dinner and, because the day had been a bit sucky, a little sweet treat for yourself. And maybe a savoury one too. It had been A Day. After changing into something comfier, you decided to sit and relax for a little bit before starting some dinner. You settled on your couch with a drink and your savoury snack before pulling out your phone to finally check your social media inboxes. What you saw actually made you drop your phone in your lap. Thank god for your habit of always sitting with a pillow or blanket on your legs, because that meant that you didn’t have to move much to scoop the device up again. There was a message in your inbox from the official My Chemical Romance account. “What the…?” You muttered, tapping the message to open it. Hi there! We’re reaching out to you to let you know that you won the last competition - we’d like to upgrade your concert ticket to the meet and greet package! “Holy balls!” If you could reply to this message with the best way to contact you; an email address would be good to start with, we can go from there and we can make sure you have all the details you’re going to need! You were pretty sure that you had never replied to a message so quickly in your life. You replied with a quick; Oh my god, really? That’s amazing! Thank you so much! before sending across your email address as well. Once that message was sent, you put your phone on the arm of the couch before sinking into your spot, staring at the tv but not really taking anything in. Not too long later, your phone sounded loudly with a notification, making you jump before you groped for it, seeing that you had a reply. Awesome, thank you. I’ll gather the information and email you back; I’ll message you on here once the email’s been sent so you know to look out for it. Congratulations again! Truthfully, you were a little floored. You didn’t even really remember entering the competition, but you guessed that you had? The message was coming from the official band account after all? You didn’t think that it had been hacked so this can’t have been a hoax… It probably wasn’t from the band themselves - they all had their own social media; they probably had someone who ran that account for them. Of course. There was no way you were actually conversing with the guys themselves. Just as you’d thought that, something made you frown, and you double checked the messages from the account. Yeah, they’d switched from using “we” to “I” - as you expected, someone else was running the account. You weren’t surprised - the guys were busy after all. They were true to their word - not too long later, maybe half an hour at most, your phone pinged with a social media direct message alert. Hey, just letting you know that I sent that email across. You can either shoot me a message here to let me know it arrived or just reply to it. A quick swipe and tap later, and you were looking at the email in question. You shifted in your spot on your couch to sit up a bit better so you could concentrate on reading it properly.The email started with a simple introduction of; “Hi, I’m Shelly Sketcher, and I work with MyChem, and that includes maintaining the main band social media accounts, so it was me that you were talking to via DMs.” You were familiar with that name, quite a few people in the online fanspaces that you frequented were too. She’d been working with the band for long enough now, and the guys would frequently sing her praises during interviews. The online fanspaces seemed to like her - she did her best to get the band more time with their fans, or to get the gifts from the fans to the band, and most people appreciated that. Of course there were always one or two who didn’t but… That was to be expected. You just hoped that she didn’t have to see some of the utterly vile and nasty stuff that you had seen about her. Or, if she had seen it, you hoped it didn’t get her down too badly. You emailed her back, and sent her a direct message on the band’s social media to let her know that you’d received her email and sent a reply. She said to let her know if you had any questions - either via email or a direct message; she’d reply to either as soon as she could - she’d have notifications on as the whole thing was a little bit time sensitive. After sending her one more message, thanking her and letting her know that you’d let her know if you had any more questions, you sat on your couch, staring at the first message in your social media inbox. Truthfully, you were still in a little bit of a state of shock. It had taken you a bit of effort to get the ticket you had managed to get, and you had been incredibly grateful to finally get your hands on the one you did, even if it had been one of the cheaper ones. But now you were being bumped up to the freakin’ meet and greet package? Unbelievable. You spent the time between getting the messages and the date of your show, in a little bit of a daze, to be honest. You just couldn’t believe it. You were going to meet your favourite band. Nothing felt like it could touch you during that time; not even events during your everyday life that normally would have ruined your day, or at the very least your mood, had much of an effect on you. You were going to meet your favourite band. Like, what? What did you do to get so lucky? How? How was this your life? You just couldn’t make it up. ~ ~ ~ You arrived at the venue early, like it had been suggested, although you would’ve done that anyway. Nervously, you approached one of the venue’s staff. You knew that they were working the gig because they were wearing an MCR t-shirt, and they had a lanyard. They looked the part. She greeted you with a friendly smile and listened as you explained what you were there for. When you mentioned that you were a competition winner her expression brightened and she beckoned you to follow her. She led you through another set of doors before you had to go through the security procedure of having your bag checked. Once that was done, she gently pulled you aside and let you sit down. “I just need to make a quick call, okay? I’ll be right back.” She waited for you to nod before taking a phone out of her pocket and moving down the corridor a little. You were starting to feel a little anxious, like maybe you’d done something wrong? But you’d followed the email’s instructions… It was probably fine, it was probably just nerves. You were (hopefully!) about to meet your favourite band after all. The sound of heels on the flooring made you look up from your phone a little while later. The member of staff had returned, with a familiar looking, well dressed blonde in tow. They got close enough before the staff member said something to the other woman and got a nod in reply before heading off. The blonde turned back to you and smiled, holding out her hand when she got close enough. “Hi! I’m Shelly and I work with MyChem. You must be the competition winner I’ve been messaging?.” You felt your shoulders untense a little - she was who you thought she was and that meant that this whole thing was legit and not some elaborate prank. You hesitated for a second before taking her hand and shaking it, introducing yourself. “I’m so pleased to meet you, and that you got here okay,” Shelly said with a bright smile. “Pleased to meet you too,” you managed with a smile in return. “You do an excellent job and the fan base is very lucky to have you look out for the guys, and us, the way that you do.” She beamed and went a pale shade of pink. “I… Ah, that’s very nice for you to say, but I’m just doing my job.” “Yeah, but!” You protested. “Not every band has an assistant manager like you; I’ve been to other bands’ concerts and there’s never anyone running around to gather things from the fans like you do.” Shelly shook her head slightly, clearly not really believing you. “You’re very sweet.” “It’s true though.” “Mm, maybe,” she cleared her throat quietly and hummed for a moment as she pulled out her phone. She tapped at it before reading something and sliding the device back into her pocket. “Okay, right! So, the first thing is grabbing you some merch! Have you had the chance to see the merch stand yet?” “I…” You had actually forgotten that part of the upgrade included some free merch. “No, I haven’t. I was a little nervous about getting here and making sure that people knew that I was here.” Shelly nodded sympathetically. “I get that, I still get a bit nervous about being late or getting lost.” “You do?” “Sure I do,” she smiled and gestured for you to follow her. “Then again, I have to be very careful, as if I mess up with times, I could make the whole band late. But I’m like that in my personal life too, not just for my job.” “Oh,” you followed her to the merch stand, a little amused and amazed at how quickly and easily she moved through the building and through the manned doors. Then again, she was with the band; that was the ultimate VIP pass. You stayed close to her as you arrived at the merch stand, but you stood aside a little as she conversed with the people manning it. As to be expected, she was polite and everyone was really friendly with each other, but that was to be expected when the tour had been going this long. You were pretty certain that it was the same merch team. “Okay,” she turned back to you before gesturing to the stand. “Pick your poison.” You hesitated, wanting to ask a question but not quite sure how to. Luckily, she found the words for you. “Whatever you like, no real limit but try not to go too insane.” She grinned at you. “Insane would be like, one of everything.” “I, ah, wouldn’t do that, really…” “Some people might try it,” Shelly shrugged gently before pulling out her phone to give you some time. You took a few minutes to cast your eyes over the selection before picking out a couple of things - a shirt with the dates on it was the main thing you wanted, but you picked a couple of other, little things too. Once the guy behind the stand handed those over to you, you decided to use the money you’d set aside specifically for merch to actually purchase a few extra things. “Miss Shelly,” the merch girl called. “They wanna buy things too.” Shelly looked up from her phone before taking a few steps forward to stand next to you. “What did you pick as part of the upgrade?” You hesitated before opening the bag to show her, watching her nod and smile. “Hey, good choices.” “I don’t mind spending money,” you reasoned. “I have been saving for this since I got my ticket. I never expected to win the upgrade and I forgot that the upgrade included merch, so I’m really not against spending money.” “And, if I may,” the blonde continued. “What are you interested in purchasing?” You hesitated before pointing out a couple of extra things you liked before watching her out of the corner of your eye. She looked between the items before nodding. “Okay, but you’re getting a discount. We take care of our VIPs.” “I… I can’t ask you to do that,” you tried to protest as she gathered together the things you wanted to buy. “You’re not asking,” she double checked the size labels before giving the things to you. “Are these right?” You checked too. “Yes, thank you, but I -” “You’re getting a discount,” she said, her voice taking on a sing-song tone as she smiled. “And there’s nothing you can do about that.” You tried once more to protest, but she wasn’t having any of it, and neither were the merch staff, so you sighed and accepted your fate. Once that was all taken care of, you followed the blonde back through the doors, thanking her profusely along the way. “Honestly,” she said after using your name to interrupt you. “It’s really not a big deal. You didn’t try to take advantage, and I admire that.” “I… Oh. Um… Thank you?” “Don’t mention it.” She led you down another corridor before speaking again. “Did you bring anything for the guys to sign?” “Er actually, yeah, I did.” “That’s great; they’ll be more than happy to do that,” she stopped outside a door, and before knocking, she turned to look at you. “You okay?” You shook your head. “No, I’m a little bit nervous.” “Hey,” she said, turning her whole body to face you. “It’s alright, I promise! They’re not that scary! They’re really just a bunch of nerds!” This made you laugh and honestly, it did help a little bit. “And I say that with the most love possible,” she giggled as you laughed. “But they really are.” You grinned at her before exhaling deeply. “I know you’re right. But I’m still a little nervous.” Shelly nodded. “I know you are, I get it. Meeting them is a big deal to a lot of people. And that’s okay, they understand.” You exhaled again and she smiled gently at you. She was waiting patiently but you didn’t feel rushed at all; she just didn’t have that air to her. “I think…” You started carefully. “I think I’m ready.” “Awesome.” You watched her move to knock on the door; her knock was almost tuneful, and you were willing to bet that her knock stood out against any others. She waited a second before opening the door enough to stick her head around it. She must’ve said something and gotten a reply because you heard her laugh before she opened the door properly before turning to you and gesturing for you to follow her. She closed the door behind the pair of you before clearing her throat to get the attention of the band. Holy balls, you thought, this is actually happening. You listened to her introduce you to them, which you were grateful for because you had suddenly lost your voice. “I don’t think I need to tell you their names,” Shelly said with a slight grin as each member shook your hand. “Thi- Think,” you swallowed as your voice came out as a bit of a squeak. “Think we’re good on that one.” Frank laughed and Shelly gestured for you to sit down  as the guys did. Once everyone had settled, Shelly trotted around the room while the band asked you questions - how far you’d travelled to get there, how your trip was, had you seen them before; questions like that. You managed to answer them well enough, still feeling a little bit nervous but starting to feel a bit more relaxed. There was a pause in conversation as Shelly came back over to put some markers, Sharpies, on the table. You noticed that Gerard watched her a bit more closely when she returned, smiling and speaking softly to her when she was near enough. She smiled at him before clearing her throat softly. “Hey,” she said to them. “You guys wanna sign some stuff?” “Sure thing,” Mikey reached for one of the markers before the others copied him. “I like seeing what fans bring for us to sign, to be honest,” Frank added. At these words you pulled your bag onto your lap to go through it. “Um, hang on a minute…” Eventually you pulled out your item of choice as well as a small notebook, both of which you passed to the blonde who had moved to stand by you. “It sounds strange, but can you each maybe sign a page in here as well, please?” “Of course,” Gerard gently took both items from Shelly when she passed them to him before uncapping the pen and holding the lid in between his teeth, passing the first item around after he’d signed it. “I’m sure you’ve got your reasons.” “Is it something arty?” Ray asked, looking from where Mikey was signing one of the two items over to you. “A lot of our fans are very artistic.” “There’s a lot of talent in the fanbase,” Shelly agreed. “I… Um, kinda.” “If you ever share it online,” Shelly lightly slapped Frank around the back of the head for a reason you didn’t catch. “You’ll have to share it with us. I’m sure whatever you’re planning will turn out great.” “I hope it does, maybe I will share it,” you nodded once, taking the items from her as she handed them back over. “Thank you so much.” “You’re more than welcome,” Frank grinned over at you. You felt like you might be blushing so you focused on putting your things back in your bag until Ray started asking you a little more about yourself; what you did for work, what your hobbies were. Normally, talking about yourself made you feel awkward, but he (and the rest of the band) seemed so genuinely interested that you found yourself not really minding. When they ran out of questions and you’d run out of steam, a few minutes of silence followed before Shelly cleared her throat, drawing everyone’s attention to her. “How about we get some pictures?” She said before turning to you. “I can take them on your phone, if you like? Or I can take them with my phone and send them to you via social media?” You hesitated. “Either is honestly fine,” Shelly continued. “I promise.” “Ah, um…” You pulled your phone out of your pocket before unlocking it and, after a second, shyly handed it over to her. The blonde smiled and took it, checking it over. “Go over with me how to use it really quickly?” You obliged, and when you were close enough to her, Shelly whispered to you. “Don’t worry, you’re doing great.” “I am? I’m not awkward?” She shook her head and took a test photo of the pair of you before she showed you. “How’s that?” “Great, actually. That’s a great shot.” “You can delete that later if you want,” she gestured for you to go and post with the guys. “I won’t be offended. If you share these online, make sure you tag the accounts and we’ll reshare them too. If you’re okay with that.” You nodded to her and she took some photos of you with the band, letting you see them to make sure that you were happy. “If you’re not happy, I am more than willing to take more,” she said quietly to you. “I just want you to have a good experience, and bad photos are not a good keepsake.” “I don’t want to put the guys through -” “They won’t mind,” she grinned at you. “I won’t let them. Don’t worry.” “You…” You shook your head at her. “You’re too sweet.” “That’s part of my job honey. I’m like a liaison between the fans and the band as well as an assistant to,” she waved towards the guys. “The Lords over there.” The slightly posh accent she added made you laugh and she shooed you over to take a few more pictures. When that was over and everyone had settled back down, you put your bag back across your body - it was like a security thing. “You… Look like you want to say something else?” Mikey piped up. “Um… I…” You swallowed, hesitating. Well, he wasn’t wrong but… You were pretty sure that they’d heard everything you wanted to say before, and would probably hear it all over again. And again. But you knew that you’d regret it immensely if you didn’t say it. “I… Um…” You swallowed and clutched the cross-body strap of your bag, glancing down at your lap. “It’s okay,” Gerard said gently from opposite you.”Take a moment.” You felt like you’d rehearsed this about a thousand times - exactly what you’d say if you ever met them, but now you were actually here, your tongue was tied up in knots. The cushion next to you on the couch moved and you looked up to see their blonde assistant sitting beside you, placing a cup of water in front of you. She smiled softly. “Sorry,” you stammered. “I just…” “It’s okay,” she repeated softly. “Really. Hey, ignore them for a second -” “Hey!” Frank said. “Shut up Frank,” Ray rolled his eyes, throwing a balled up piece of paper at the short guitarist. Shelly eyed them, shook her head before turning her attention back to you, taking your hand. It was only when she squeezed it gently that you realised that you were shaking. “Talk to me. Tell me what it means to you.” You noticed that her nails were neatly French manicured using a shade of pink polish that reminded you very much of cotton candy. And you only picked up on this because you were quite focused on the way she was holding your hand; the gentle squeezing was really calming actually. “I… Okay.” You noticed her smile before taking a small breath, giving yourself time to try and get the words straight in your head. Once you were… Happy enough you nodded slightly and started talking. You managed to talk about how much the music meant to you, how beautiful you thought the lyrics were, how masterful the guitar and base notes were and how harmonious everything sounded together; how obvious it was that the other three were such masters of their instruments. You managed to get out much you loved all three albums, all for different reasons; the rawness of Bullets, the emotion of Revenge and the creativity of Parade. This made Gerard smile brightly; he always loved it when other people recognised just how amazing the rest of the band were at playing their parts. You took a breath, and a sip of the water that you’d been given before managing to talk about how strong you thought they were because they’d all battled their own demons and come out the other side, and just how inspiring that was - not just to you but to so many other people. As well as it being especially inspiring for the fact that they always seemed to want to fight for the underdog; that they wanted to give a voice to those who felt like they didn’t have one. Including yourself - you had your own struggles that their music had helped you through; it made you feel less alone. You managed to speak without stuttering and that made you think that maybe Shelly had been right - it had been much easier to talk to her (or maybe that should be at her…) than to talk to the band themselves. Even though you knew they were listening, it had been much easier to focus your attention on someone other than them. “You’re alright now?” Gerard asked when you took a moment to breathe. “You mentioned your own struggles? Are you okay now?” You nodded. “Much better, I’m doing pretty good, actually. There’s obviously still a few bad days, but coping with them is easier.” Gerard nodded and smiled a little. “Good.” “I know you’ve probably heard all of that before,” you said quietly, managing to look over at them. “But -” “We never get tired of it,” Ray said gently with a shake of his head. “It’s kinda amazing how many people feel the same way about our music.” “And about us,” Mikey added. “It’s incredible that four nerdy guys from New Jersey have had such an effect - a positive one, on so many people.” “You have done since the first record,” you said. “And I think you will until you call it quits.” “And even then,” Shelly added. “As long as your music is available, you’ll keep being that inspiring to anyone who listens to you.” “Yeah!” You nodded enthusiastically at the blonde’s words. “Exactly that.” Frank almost giggled and Gerard cleared his throat softly before speaking. “Ray’s right, we don’t get tired of hearing it. I think sometimes we still can’t believe that people feel that way about us,” he looked at the others for confirmation, getting nods in response. “I keep telling them that they really need to get used to it,” Shelly shrugged once with a smile. “But they don’t listen to me.” “Well, they should, because you’re absolutely right.” Shelly looked at the band and gestured to you. “See?” The guys laughed and that made you smile. “But thank you,” you managed. “For letting me get that out, even if it’s not the first time you’ve heard it.” “It would be rude not to let you speak,” Frank said with a small nod. “We appreciate the fans, we appreciate you, for appreciating us.” You nodded slowly and it was as if a lightbulb flickered on above your head. You turned your attention to the blonde still sitting next to you, which seemed to surprise her as she tilted her head. “I just wanna say again,” you started quietly. “We appreciate you, too. So many of us do, for what you do for them,” you gestured to the guys a little. “For what you do for us as fans, for the running around you do to get our stuff to them, for interacting with us, for everything.” Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Gerard lean forward, his forearms on his legs, as he focused his attention on the woman next to you. This made you remember that there had been some rumours rumbling around about there being a relationship between the two of them, but there hadn’t been anything officially said by anyone from the band, or from either of the pair directly. Their behaviour in front of you didn’t sway the arguments either way, really. It wasn’t really anyone’s business, you thought, but it was something the online fanspaces debated every so often. (Privately, your opinion was that they might be cute together.) Shelly, meanwhile, was looking at you with a very… Soft but surprised expression on her face. When she started to speak, her voice broke a tiny bit - she had to stop and clear her throat before trying again. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “That means a lot to me. Because I do work very hard, I do try and get you guys the most time with them.” “We’re nothing without our fans,” Ray added. You noticed the others nod. “We’re also not much without her,” Frank nodded to Shelly with a grin. “I mean, she’s the reason we eat and she’s why we’re on time and all of that.” “Behind every herd of cats is a woman rolling her eyes while she attempts to wrangle them to get them to behave,” Shelly muttered. You laughed. “You do an excellent job.” She smiled brightly. “Thank you.” “See? Mikey said with a small grin. “Not just us that say so.” “Shush you.” You joined the guys with a quiet chuckle before Gerard cleared his throat. “So, what’s your favourite song? We like to shout out one to our VIPs if we can.” A part of you had expected this question, and you really had truly thought about it. It was a difficult one to answer. “Um, that’s tricky. I feel like every time I think about it, I have a different answer, um…” “Way to put them on the spot,” Shelly rolled her eyes a little but she was smiling so it was clear that she wasn’t mad or anything. “Give them a minute.” You smiled at her gratefully before continuing to answer Gerard’s question, also managing to give them all a reason without waxing lyrical for too long. The band listened intently, nodding a little. “Well,” you said, after taking a moment. “It’s either that one or Disenchanted, really.” Mikey fist-pumped and the others groaned playfully. “See?” He said. “I told you it was a good idea to put it on the album!” Frank rolled his eyes and Gerard shook his head. “I’m not the only one who thinks so!” You added hastily. “No, you’re not,” Shelly added. “It’s a fan favourite, and one of mine too.” “Because you’re a woman of good taste, clearly.” Shelly grinned at you. “Thank you.” You chatted with the band for a little bit longer before it was time for them to start getting ready for the show, so you said goodbye, getting hugs as well, much to your delight, before Shelly led you out of the room. “You alright?” She asked gently as you both made your way down the corridor. You exhaled loudly and nodded. “Y- yeah, I think so.” “It might not sink in for a little bit,” she said with a nod. “And when it does, it’ll be a really inappropriate time.” “That sounds about right.” She laughed quietly. “Right, I think maybe you’re in the higher tier, closer to the stage area with the others who paid for those tickets but not the VIP thing, let me check…” You watched her pull her phone out to double check the details. “Mm hm, you are, which is good as your bag and everything will be safe there too, but if you weren’t I would’ve figured something out about keeping your things safe…” “That’s very sweet of you.” Shelly just smiled and took you to get a drink first - not that she let you pay for either of them, because she made you get a bottle of water alongside the other drink of your choice. Then she led you to where you’d be watching the show from. There were a few people there already, which surprised you, but it was actually a bit later than you thought it was. One of the other fans there called Shelly’s name before making their way over to her. They chatted quietly for a moment before the fan handed Shelly something; they must’ve been asking her to pass it onto the band, which Shelly obviously agreed to do before the fan smiled, got a hug from the blonde and went back to their spot. Shelly turned back to you and shook her head slightly. “Sorry about that, are you all good?” “Yeah, I get it, you’re still working after all,” you nodded. “I’m good, thank you so much for everything.” Shelly brushed it off a little. “Oh, psh, you’ve been a delight! I’ll be about during the show, I always am, so if you need anything, there’ll be a security guard nearby - get his attention and he’ll get me. Don’t be afraid to do that, the security is here to help, and so am I.” You nodded and offered her a hug, which she accepted. “Thank you, again,” you said to her as she hugged you back. “So, so very much.” “You are so welcome,” she squeezed you gently before taking a step back. “I have to get back to the boys. Have a great time during the show, in case you don’t need me for anything. And please, let me know that you get home okay?” “Oh, sure I can do that,” you nodded, touched at her concern. “Message the main band account,” Shelly said. “I’ll get that.” “Okay, I’ll do that, promise.” “Good, I’m glad,” she checked her phone again and winced. “Okay, I really gotta get back to the guys. Have a great time, remember that security is here to help, okay?” “Yes ma’am,” you mock-saluted and grinned as she narrowed her eyes at you a little - but she was smiling so she wasn’t mad. “Thank you, so much, again.” “You’re so welcome,” Shelly smiled at you and waved to another fan further down the section before going to grab something from them. She waved to you and headed off in the other direction to return to the dressing rooms. Naturally, the support act was amazing - but that wasn’t really much of a surprise as MyChem’s support acts always seemed to pair well with the main band themselves. Then the main event happened; the lights went down, the curtain at the back dropped to reveal the staging and… Boom. The cheers were almost deafening as the guys came on stage and only got louder as the first notes played. Much like Gerard had, not promised per se but had said, you got a bit of a shout out for your favourite song. And he stopped just before Disenchanted to make a comment about “well, we’ve been told by almost everyone else that putting this next one on the album was a good idea. Everyone say thank you Mikey Way.” And the crowd echoed back; “Thank you Mikey!” MyChem were incredible obviously. They always were. And major props to the lighting techs, who properly spotlighted each of the guys at the best times; Ray during the opening of Disenchanted for example, Frank during his best solos (you swore he winked at you during one of those and you’d put good money on the fact that you probably blushed). The show must’ve gone relatively smoothly because you didn’t see the Tour Manager come down to help out with anything, until the encore started. That’s when she appeared down in front of that first barrier. She stopped to check in with you, squeezing your hand before heading down the line to check in with the security guards. The encore finished, the band took a bow and Gerard told the crowd to get home safe before they left the stage, the lights coming on not long later. You decided to wait a few minutes to let some of the people behind you head out first before heading outside yourself. When you got home, you sent the band’s official account a quick message, like you promised and then decided to upload some photos from the evening; just one or two for now. One of you and the whole band, the slightly silly selfie you’d taken with Shelly and one or two you’d taken while the band were performing. You tapped your chin for a moment before typing out a caption, making sure to tag any appropriate accounts; Best night of my life! Massive thank you to not only the guys but also Shelly for taking care of me and giving me this amazing opportunity. I'll never be the same after tonight and I am very much okay with that  - I promise!

[hopeymchope]

On this Nintendo Direct day, I'm pondering how Sony's PlayStation division went from "amazing press conference events" to "sucky State of Plays"

I know Tumblr - and indeed, even myself - tend to be pretty radically anti-capitalism these days, and for good fucking reason. But right now I'm going to write about being an unapologetic consumer of marketing hype like a fucking shill, so I just wanna warn you in advance of that.

*AHEM* Today is September 14, 2023. Nintendo Direct time let's GOOOOO!!!!

Nothing will ever again be as HYPE as E3 conference presentations were at their peak, but Nintendo Direct is the closest we get these days, and today brings us another one. I feel confident there will be causes for most of the userbase to get excited during that show. But oddly, today ALSO is bringing a State of Play that is... almost sure to disappoint.

About E3: You see, in the days of E3's peak press conferences, it's hard to argue that Sony wasn't the best at that particular style of presentation. Obviously, they had famous fumbles like 2006's meme-inducing show — but it was usually Nintendo who had the most sleep-inducing E3 shows in those days. Sony managed to pivot most successfully when E3 transitioned from "industry trade show" to "mass-marketing event," whereas Nintendo was by far the least successful at ditching that "trade show" vibe.

My point is: You look at how Sony did their thing in the mid-2010s, and like... DAMN. People STILL talk in reverent tones about those 2015 and 2016 shows, but even 2013 and 2017 were powerful presentations to sit through. PlayStation even ran their own convention where they'd do utterly kickass stage showcases of their upcoming games A SECOND TIME each year - the sadly defunct "PSX," which happened towards the end of each year during its too-brief lifespan. Those presentations were ALSO fucking fire, albeit slightly toned down from their E3 shows. Sony's PlayStation division had this game on lock, not only in how the stage itself gave a grand feeling of scale but most especially in perfectly pacing out the reveals of mass-appeal titles, hardcore-geek titles, and more niche games that still managed to hold intrigue. They knew how to slooooowly reveal a game everyone would lose their minds over. They knew how to give people a buffer space after the cheering died down and let them take in something that would somewhat intrigue, maybe, but probably be more of an obligation before the next heavy-hitter smashed down.

But let's talk about where PlayStation's presentations are *today*.

I really, really want State of Play to offer the Nintendo Direct-level hype, but... Sony just utterly fucking sucks at this game. And maybe it's because they started the "digital presentation" trend, but somehow Nintendo has gone from "probably/possibly the worst at E3 showcases" to "EASILY the BEST at digital video showcases." Nintendo knows how to do the hype-ass editing where you go from a vague introductory statement to a black screen that slowly lights up to reveal some game that most of the hardcore userbase is gonna freak out over. Yet Sony can't seem to imitate that to save their lives.

PlayStation doesn't even seem to know (or more likely, doesn't care) what their hardcore users want — usually Sony shows us just one or, extremely rarely, two games that get the geeks talking. And a number of "Uh?" vagaries that are too early to really explain/understand. And some games very, very few people will care about.

Yes, of course Nintendo ALSO tends to include games that are extremely limited in their audience, but they know how to buffer and surround those titles with things that will appeal to certain significant demographics. PlayStation? Not so much. Which is particularly strange given how EXCELLENT they were are doing precisely that on live stages during the late PS3/early PS4 era.

In fairness, Sony usually at least knows what their biggest gun is. They knew that Resident Evil 4 remake was a big reveal. They still revealed it at the wrong time in their presentation and with a lack of buildup that felt pretty amateurish, but at least they knew it was a big deal and put it in an important slot.

But do I expect great things from Sony today? Not really, no. I suppose I should be grateful that they've progressively lowered my expectations to a reasonable level; I mean, I remember some people being disappointed by their E3 2017 show because 2015 and 2016 were so incredible. At least now, they've set me up to where, if they do a decent State of Play, I really *will* be blown away.

Here's hoping they surprise me. And I hope whatever your dream for the Nintendo Direct and/or State of Play is, it comes true for you.

[redmeansdead]

[Opens up to a photo of a boy and ten girls who are his sisters around him; all except one of them are smiling.] Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Ever wonder what it's like to grow up in a big family? Well, don't let the picture fool you! It's not all sugar and spice. Don't believe me?" [He opens the door to reveal plenty of chaos going on caused by his sisters; such as a baby playing with pots and pans, one sister reading a poem, one sister dressed up like a mummy in some white cloth substance chasing another sister wearing a pretty dress who is screaming in terror, one sister playing Football in the house, one sister angrily chasing another grinning sister through the halls, and one sister playing on a guitar.] "Welcome to...the Loud House." [Depending on which version of the pilot you see, the title may or may not show up. Lincoln closes the door and stretches a little.] "Surviving in a big family can be challenging, even the little things, like getting a turn in the bathroom. Which is why I give you..." [as he speaks, a caption with the following words shows up] "Lincoln Loud's Three P's to go Poo and Pee. You're gonna need Patience, Perseverance, and most importantly, Problem Solving. With these three steps, you'll get into the bathroom every time." [starts straining] "Which is important. Especially if you wait until the very last second to go!" [busts out comic book] "Into the breach!" [Heads out the door]

Lincoln: "Luna? A little traveling music?" Luna: "You got it, bro. One, two, three!" [starts jamming on her guitar and fulfills her brother's request.] [Lincoln begins his journey down the hallway to the bathroom.] Lucy: "Hey, Lincoln, you wanna hear my poem?" Lincoln: "I do, but I have a pressing engagement." [His funny sister Luan stops him in his tracks.] Luan: ""Lincoln! Smell my new flower!" [squirts water from flower, but Lincoln ducks just in the nick of time.] Lincoln: "Ha! Did you really think I'd fall for-" Luan: [suddenly squirts water from a flower on her left shoe into Lincoln's mouth.] "It's not easy being this good." [laughs] Lynn: "Clear the track!" [Lincoln does a spit take and gets out of the way for Lynn.] Lynn: "Comin' through!" [plays a bizarre sport involving wearing a football helmet, riding a motorbike, and hitting a tennis ball with a hockey stick; crashes into wall.] "SCORE!!!" [Lincoln tries to continue but is stopped by his little sister Lola.] Lola: "Hold it, Lincoln. Play 'Fashion Photographer' with me!" Lincoln: "I would Lola, but I really have to-" Lola: "YOU PLAY, OR I'LL TELL MOM YOU WERE READING COMICS ON THE ROOF IN YOUR UNDERWEAR AGAIN!" Lincoln: [makes an embarrassed side glance to the viewers and then starts taking photos of Lola as she poses for the camera.] "Work the camera! Uh-huh! That's it! Show me what you got!" Lily: [walking in the background] "Poo-poo!" Lincoln: "Who's a beauty queen?" [enter Lola's twin Lana carrying a pile of mud in her hands.] Lana: "Lincoln!" Lola: "Hey! I'm working here!" Lana: "Check out my mud pie! It's nice and squishy!" [squishes it and smears it all over Lola's face.] Lincoln: [with too much pressure] "Gotta go!" [continues] Lucy: [out of nowhere] "Now?" Lincoln: "Still pressing!" [leaps over his little sister Lisa who is writing a mathematical formula on the wall.] "Don't forget to carry the 1!"[she glances at him] Leni: [trying to use the vacuum cleaner] "Does anyone know how to turn on this sucky thingy?" [turns it on but also vacuums up Lincoln's shirt and pants leaving him in just his underwear now.] "Got it!" [Lincoln is almost in the bathroom, but his oldest sister Lori cuts in front of him and refuses to let him in.] Lori: "Beat it, twerp." Lincoln: [hopping around] "Come on, Lori! No fair! I was here first!" Lori: "Well, I was born first!" [shuts herself in the bathroom.] [As Lincoln has to endure the pressure even longer, Lucy walks over.] Lucy: "It looks like you have time now." [commences poem] "My love is like water. Bursting forth. Like a dam breaking. All control lost. Water rushing, churning, turning landscape to mud. Time runs out. Water. I feel the impending doom. My love" [While she recites her poem, every word from it causes Lincoln to feel even more pressure and have to go even worse than before; suddenly, Lily walks by with a full diaper and the stink nauseates Lincoln.] Lincoln: "Ugh! Could clear a room!" [gets an idea] "Could clear a room! Time to put the third P: Problem Solving into action."

[In the bathroom, Lori is applying lipstick until she hears Lincoln opening the door.] Lori: [irked] "I said I was-" [suddenly sees something horrifying and gasps.] "What are you doing with that?" [The door closes and whatever is occurring cannot be seen, but it only causes Lori to panic.] Lori: [terrified] "Lincoln, I'm warning you! Keep that thing away from me! Lincoln! LINCOLN!" [opens the door and runs out in horror.] "AAAAHHHH!!!" [Lincoln comes out wearing the vacuum's nozzle like a gas mask and Lynn's football helmet for protection; his other sisters look on in bewilderment and Lincoln reveals that he held Lily's dirty diaper by Lynn's hockey stick as a way to chase Lori out of the bathroom.] Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lola, Lana, and Lisa: [elated] "YAY!!!" Lucy: [nonchalantly] "Yay..." [A giggling Lily scurries across the hall now naked; Lincoln then tosses his literal baby sister's soiled padding into the trash.] Lincoln: [wrapping up] "Like I said, surviving in a big family can be challenging. But it's not impossible. Now, if you'll excuse me...pressing engagement!" [closes door to finally use the toilet.] "AWW, YEAH! WOO, SWEET RELIEF! WOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!!! [notices something] "Hey! We're out of toilet paper! Guys! There's no toilet paper! Someone! Can someone bring me a new roll?!" [Unfortunately for him, his sisters are causing too much of a ruckus in the hall to hear his pleas.] Lincoln: "CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?! ANYONE! PLEASE!!! HELP!!!" [The title card for the show and its creator, either the original design or the final version for it, pops up for the Loud House.]

this is retribution sent down to me for the crime of sending my brother as much of the bee movie script as would fit into a tumblr ask and making his blog glitchy as fuck for about a month after he answered the ask

[lieutenant-amuel]

Do you have a favorite chapter in your Gabe fic?

First I want to say I’m not going sentimental with this answer by saying “I love all my chapters equally, this story is so important to me after all <3” because I’ll be lying if I say it. There are chapters I don’t like, there are chapters I enjoyed writing yet I’m quite indifferent to them as stories and the other way around when the chapter itself is great but writing it was painful.

In the whole I do love this story, and I think everyone has already noticed it. But I obviously don’t like every single thing about it and if I had a chance to change some details, plot elements, or anything, I probably would (although no, I actually wouldn’t).

Anyway, to answer your question, it’s actually quite complicated because I do have several favourites x) I think objectively my best chapters are the ones that have two parallel storylines (plot A and plot B) whereas “linear” chapters are usually weaker because I tend to put too much stuff into it (The Fencing School and The Chess Elective are quite good examples of it. Although I love Frida’s arc in both chapters). But with some exceptions of course.

One of my favourite chapters is The Nameless Girl. I love both Gabe and Valerio’s stories there, I revealed a very important part of Valerio’s backstory and illustrated his positive side that he hadn’t showed in a long time, I introduced new characters who are very entertaining to me, it has good action and is quite adventure driven (Gabe’s story). Plus, I think this is quite a good ending for Gabe’s short storyline of realizing that solving the hideout mystery did more harm than good for him which was mostly for the reason he hid it from his friends and tried to do it alone. And I do love the scout camp setting.

Another favourite is Questions and Answers (despite the fact it has a sucky title). I did a good job with symbolism and paralleling Gabe and Valerio’s stories, both of which are also very good and I love them. It has a great scary story The Man in the Cloak, it has good humor, action, and a mystery with the riddles Gabe heard in the pyramid (they all are foreshadowings, if you try to solve them, you’ll pretty much figure out the core plot events). It has an absolutely fantastic scene of Valerio’s breakdown that I was extremely excited to write, and after my friend pointed out the flashback transition of Valerio closing and then opening his eyes, I started to appreciate it more too because it actually turned out very nice.

The Secret Hideout as a beginning of the best storyline (in my opinion) this fic has so far. Once again it has two plots, and they both are great. I created my own cipher for this chapter which marked the beginning of me enjoying it so much I created at least five more different ciphers that I probably won’t even include in the story. I expanded Avaloran Royal Guard system because I always thought a lot about it even if my headcanons basically have nothing to do with the canon. Both the ciphers and the Royal Guard are important parts of WBTL “worldbuilding”, and I’m actually pretty proud of myself for creating the sort of my own lore for this story. I’m repetitive but the fact that Gabe’s story is quite action driven in this chapter also makes me enjoy it.

The Eagle and the Crow is great for shedding light on Emilio’s story and making him more sympathetic which is important given he used to be the main antagonist for quite a long time. I showed his emotions, his struggles and tried to explained why he treated Valerio the way he did. I don’t know how I can explain why I love it but the entire scene of Emilio and Valerio meeting for the first time (starting with Emilio hesitating to open the door to the staffroom because he’s not sure whether Valerio has arrived already and ending with Emilio overhearing Valerio and Señor Murillo’s conversation). I don’t know it just was extremely entertaining to me to write how their relationship originated and it also has quite many lines that I personally find funny (“I don’t chuckle after every sentence” *chuckles*, “my favourite colour is green”, “this stupid game with those stupid questions”). The last scene of the flashback where I integrated short words into the narrative to illustrate how Emilio’s interest towards Valerio arouses (observation - concern - suspicion - goal) is probably one of the most powerful scenes I’ve ever written. The very first scene where Valerio reveals details of his past to Emilio is also great, and I’ll always be proud of this short fragment where Valerio describes what it felt like to be burnt.

That unforgettable feeling of the flames melting into your skin and spreading the burning pain from deep within your body. So, the only thing left for you is to scream. But you can't. As your lungs are squeezed by a suffocating embrace of smoke that doesn't let you take a single breath of fresh air. Yes. That's impossible to forget.

And how can I not mention the story The Eagle and the Crow. This is a metaphor of Valerio and Emilio, and I think this is very smart. Anyway, Emilio and Valerio’s relationship is absolutely fascinating to me so writing it (and reading about it too) always brings me joy.

And I think that’s it. I know you possibly asked me for one chapter but at this point I actually cannot choose between those four x) They all embody different aspects of this story that I absolutely adore, and I really wish to make more chapters of the same quality in the future.

As for other chapters, I love them too to a greater or lesser extent.

Some of them are very close to my most favourite chapters, I also find them great but they’re more chill and it makes them less exciting in my opinion. Those are Día de los Muertos, A Burglar, The Last Ship (although this chapter is just filled with different symbols and foreshadowings for Valerio’s story so I think I’d put it higher in my list), The Scout Camp, The Past Is In The Past, and the latest chapter The First of September.

Some have great concepts but I personally don’t like how they’re written in a stylistic sense (to put it short they’re just sucky written but are good stories, and well, it’s fixable so I won’t be too harsh on them). Those are The Essay Topic and The Chess Classes.

Some are great but as I mentioned above, include too many scenes which makes them overwhelming and quite difficult to summarize and navigate through (even I, the author, sometimes forget which chapter includes a certain scene). Those are The Fashion Show, The Fencing School, and The Chess Elective.

Some are good (but not great lol) story wise but are written poorly. Those are A Trip To Maarswik and Gabe’s Birthday.

Some are bad and nothing can help them but they were a base for the future chapters so I cannot remove them and am learning to appreciate them lol. Those are A New Beginning and The Long-Awaited Letter.

And some have an honorable mention because I now have conflicted feelings about them x) Those are the first three chapters: A Tale of the Dragon Slayer, The Baking Disaster, and The Olaball Practice. They were meant to show some of my Gabe headcanons but atmosphere wise they’re extremely different from the rest of the story so I think if I were an actual writer, I’d just create a separate collection of short stories to illustrate how Gabe’s childhood, without a bunch of my original characters and complicated plots, looked like (because I do have a few more ideas that have nothing to do with the main plot and I plan to put them somewhere in the beginning if I write them).

Anyway, as I was saying, I do love this story in the whole. My main issue about some chapters is just the way how they’re written whereas plot wise they’re absolutely great and I wouldn’t change anything about them. They’re the part of the established story and of the story I genuinely love (although now when I often come back to the old chapters, I can clearly see why nobody read it lol). But well, ugly descriptions and awkward dialogues can always be fixed as I keep writing and gain more experience in this field so I really don’t want to be harsh on myself. The story itself is good, and I think this is all that matters.

Thank you for this ask! And sorry for giving such a long answer ajhdnfjfk.

[nightmarenova-writer]

~Story Drabble Time Pt. 6~

(P.S. this is something of a draft for my project that I briefly mentioned in my pinned comment, I kinda impulsively decided to type this down because its been driving me a bit crazy due to how much I could work with this. And since by the time March comes around, this’ll be my 2nd year of constant and detailed planning with taking stuff out and putting stuff in. And I’m hoping by next year or by December I’ll have enough to start posting my stuff. BUT there is one important detail with my project. It’s actually a large scale fan-fic that’s gonna have roughly 10-11(?) parts or “installments” so if that isn’t your thing then you don’t have to feel obligated to read these okay? If its not your cup of tea, then no hard feelings. Also just a heads up my grammar might be a bit sucky. Even as a native English speaker my grammar does go down when I don’t write for a while! But I hope you enjoy this! Without further ado, lets get to it!)

— Also while this isn’t a story, and rather a poem/riddle this is something cannon that will have relevance to the entire story. And it will also show a small part of my Oc’s personality, that when needed she can, and will be cryptic at times. Especially when it comes to certain installments.

And since this is cannon to my story, and will be used. I’m going to give it a title, or name holder just so it can give you a tiny hint of one of my installments. If any of you are able to guess it then I give you all my praise and kudos since its gonna be hella hard to guess without the context that I know. Best of luck if you want to though! :D —

~Wildcard~

What is it that I see?

From one outsider looking in,

a person on the outskirts, defining.

What is it that you see?

A heart? A spade? A diamond? A club?

One calling to another, true answers will you find.

The truth you seek so clear,

yet clouded by semblance.

Your pursuit, soon ending.

Your question, near unraveled.

Your answer, well-nigh within reach.

All you need now, is to find me.

For the power I hold, is one I do not give freely.

May you defy the odds, and your rebellious hearts lead you onto me.

[slutzandcuckz]

Title: So Much For Being Quiet

Rated M 18+ (MINORS ARE NOT WELCOME TO READ OR INTERACT WITH THIS POST. MINOR AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED)

Content Warning: all characters are 18+, izuku x femme!reader (gender-neutral language used, reader has breasts and a vagina), undetermined relationship (they really like each other though 🥺), exhibitionism? (they fuck in front of other people), implied voyeurism, oral (izuku), hand job (izuku), frottage/grinding (reader), cum play, slight nipple play (izuku), pet names (i.e kitty and baby), overuse of the word fuck, probs some editing errors, idk lemme know if there’s anything I missed, I hope it’s not rushed I got antsy to finish 😩

Estimated Word Count < 1900 * I edit my writing too often to commit to a static number 🥴

“Shh,” he giggles, petting the back of your head. “They’re going to hear us.”

That’s easy for him to say, he doesn’t have an 8-inch penis shoved down the back of his throat. The gurgling and sucking and retching is so loud, it’s a wonder how you’ve gone unnoticed thus far.

It’s movie night, an occasion designated for every Friday evening. Everyone is scattered about Momo’s living room, all seemingly having fallen asleep during your movie marathon. Kirishima and Denki are cuddled in little makeshift cots on the floor, Urahaka has a couch all to herself, Momo retreated to her bedroom awhile back, and Bakugo is on the far end of the sectional you and Izuku are occupying—er— well Izuku is occupying, you’re kneeled on the floor in between his thighs. It’s super risky getting frisky with Izuku with all your friends around like this, but fuck is it hot. Izuku has a hold of the back of your head and is thrusting into your throat unabashedly. His eyes keep flittering between your teary-eyed dick-filled face, and the slumbering bodies around him. It’s so sexy to see his eyes flutter shut from pleasure only to widen and search for the source of any unanticipated noise. Your thighs keep rubbing together in an attempt to ease the throbbing. Any chance you get to release your hold on Izuku’s hips, you bring a hand down to rub your engorging clit.

“Oh fuck, baby,” he whines, a little too loudly for someone having shushed you just a moment ago. So much for being quiet.

Your mouth abandons his dick for your hands to take reign. “Shh. They’re going to hear us,” you mock. You alternate between loose languid strokes and tapping his sticky tip, massaging his balls all the while. It’s so cute how he shudders and moans, biting his lip in an attempt to stay quiet, but he’s doing such a sucky job. Luckily everyone seems to be sound asleep, although Bakugo has shuffled around a few times. Nevertheless, you and Izuku are clear to keep fooling around, and you take full advantage of that.

You love to tease him, especially in situations like this when it’s probably best to speed things along. You two have been fooling around for the better part of five months now and it never gets old. He gets so flustered and restless, but is too sweet to demand anything of you—that is—until he’s had enough. And you love getting him to that point.

He shoots his hips up searching for more friction, but you snatch your hands away and swat at his thigh, whispering for him to be good. He settles down for a second or two when you continue to stroke him before growing frenzied all over again. You play this game of swatting him and kissing his tip when he gets out of hand, but he comes to his breaking point pretty quickly. The moment you go to release your grip from around him again, he wraps his hands around your own and fucks up into them. His face contorts in pleasure and his head can’t stay up right for more than a second at a time. He’s drooling a little and his muscles are bulging from exertion. God, he looks so hot when he loses control like this, you can’t take it.

It takes a bit of pulling, but you finally release one hand from his hold. He growls from the loss, but quiets when you make no effort to remove your other. Your freed hand digs beneath your shorts and panties to frantically rub at your clit.

“Fuck,” you drawl.

As much as you both attempt to stay quiet, you fail miserably. Slick wet noises echo throughout the room, and your stifled whimpers teeter into uncontrollable moans. You both stare longingly at each other, completely enamored by the other's pleasure.

God, you are so pretty. Your chin is covered in drool and your lips are swollen from sucking his dick. There are dried tears running down from your lash line and your lashes flutter so gently across your cheeks. You look like an angel. He could stare at you forever. He really hopes he can do that.

“I’m going to cum,” he whispers, chest heaving.

You abandon your clit and regroup your hand with the others to help finish him off. With each stroke increasing in speed he grows more and more tense, spine arching as though he is being summoned by the heavens. You wait with bated breath for the inevitable explosion.

“Please, Zuku, wannit,” you beg, “Want your cum, please!”

“Fuuuuuuck—” Despite the orgasm that rages through his body he still attempts to be quiet. He’s cumming so much, thick gooey globs run down your hands with each hard flex of his dick. He’s so pretty like this: body flushed red, sweaty, and slowly sinking into the couch. He looks so dazed and content. He makes your pussy clench. You continue to stroke him through his orgasm, his hot steely dick gradually softening with each pull, sweet little giggles escaping his lips ushering you to stop before his balls run dry.

There’s so much cum; you have to play in it. You take the liberty to massage it into his skin, sliding it across his inner thighs, making sure to drag it through every curve and dip of his lower abs, even traveling beneath his shirt to pinch and tug at his nipples. It’s calming and distracts you from the throbbing between your legs. Still attempting to catch his breath he says nothing, allowing you to do what you please. Despite how messy it is, it does feel good; he could probably fall asleep like this, if he didn’t notice your squirming.

You’ve soiled your panties and sleep shorts, bottoms mushy and uncomfortable. Rubbing your thighs together really isn’t cutting it anymore. Everyone is still asleep. There’s still time to do more, if he wants, though he looks pretty tired. As much as your loins burn for release, you can sleep happy with your sexual escapade ending here.

You stand from the floor and turn to find the restroom, only to be stopped by Izuku’s firm grip. He lifts himself up from his slouched position and digs his thumbs into the sides of your shorts and panties, yanking them down to your feet in one hard pull. You eagerly step out of the clothing, excited you get to cum too. Your ass is grabbed and jiggled and prodded by Izuku’s large hands, before he pulls you to straddle his hips. His shirt is lifted and tucked beneath his armpits to reveal more of his abs as he sinks back into the couch. He settles his hands back on your hips and pulls you further along his abdomen.

His voice is so soft and gentle. It makes you gush how sweetly he speaks to you. “Grind that pretty pussy on me, baby.” He pats your butt to urge you along and hums when you follow his instruction. “Wanna see my kitty cum.”

With pleasure. His abs are cut like fucking diamonds, and they’re still nice and gooey from his cum. You start out slow and controlled, hands resting against his shoulders for leverage. Your hips swivel and swirl, exploring his flexed muscles. He can feel your hole clench and releases slick with every pass. Your clit is so hard and the sound is so wet. He can’t decide whether to look at your face scrunch in pleasure, or your hips glide over his body—either image is perfect.

It doesn’t take long before your hips pick up speed. Seeing him beneath you, submitting himself to you, allowing you to use him like a fucking sex toy, it drives you absolutely wild. And he looks so dreamy with his half-lidded gaze, and dumb flexing muscles; the way he looks like he could devour you at any moment. He takes such good care of you and makes you feel so safe. Everything he does is perfect and he makes you feel so good. Fuck.

You come to that inevitable crescendo that just keeps growing and growing and growing. It feels so good you can’t keep yourself upright anymore. Your arms give out and your chest collides with his own. You wrap your arms around his head to keep you grounded. His head wiggles atop your shoulder to keep sight of your fractic humping. He takes a hand-full of your ass in each hand, pushing and pulling you along his body.

“Yes, baby,” he coos into your ear. “Fucking use me. Grind that pussy against me—just like that.”

You do a much better job at staying quiet than he did, with your cute little whimpers and moans and fucks and babys.

Your hips are moving so fast. Each pass brings you closer and closer. It’s coming so fast you feel blindsided.

Fuck, fuck, fuck—

“Fuck!”

Your orgasm ricochets through your body, chest shooting up and hips stuttering with a fresh gush of cum. Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you body seizes as if you are being electrocuted; you’d maybe even go as far to say that is exactly how it feels. Despite your incapacitation, Izuku continues to rock your hips against his body, absolutely enamored by the ferocity of your release. This image will be engraved in his brain forever.

Your body eventually relaxes and Izuku gradually stops guiding your hips, alternately caressing and petting your skin, cooing about how well you did. Your chest is heaving attempting to capture air into your lungs. You’re a bit disoriented and your arms feel like jello, but you’re able to plop yourself back on to Izuku’s chest. He laughs, finding it funny how fatigued you are.

“Dun lava me” you slur completely pooped and on the verge of asleep. The soothing strokes to your back do no favors to keep you awake.

“I’m sorry you’re just so cute.”

You hum. You can definitely agree with that.

He allows you both to just sit and gather yourselves, although you should get up before someone wakes up and sees you like this. You’re both completely bottomless, and neither of you have announced whatever it is you two have got going on.

“Come on, cutie,” he pats your butt. “We gotta get cleaned up.”

“Okay,” you mumble, and reluctantly lift yourself from his body and the couch. Izuku follows suit, then pulls you close to lock your lips and massage your tongues together. The kiss is longer than it should be considering you’re both standing half naked in the middle of the living room, but you made it this far without getting caught, what’s a couple more minutes of passionate making out gonna change?

The kiss comes to an abrupt stop when a gruff, tired, and annoyed voice rings in the air.

“You idiots done yet?”

DO NOT REPOST, MODIFY OR PLAGIARIZE MY CONTENT.

DO NOT SHARE MY CONTENT ON TIK TOK

[usmsgutterson]

Sanktis Phantomma

o n e 

Okay, first things first, the title is the way it is because I didn’t want to write a female reader, to be honest. I wanted to keep it gender neutral but there aren’t any gender neutral terms for saints other than to say it in English, so I just sort of made it up? I’m sorry if thats offensive, and if it is, let me know and I’ll change the title!

Also, some context because I wrote a prologue and then google docs fucked around and deleted it--the reader is Genyas sibling

Fic warnings- water is present in most of these fics because the reader is a Tidemaker. Suffocation, drowning, and SOC canon-typical violence is depicted in this fic as well. As far as chapter specific warnings goes, illegal grisha indentures are discussed

Per Haskell found Y/N Safin when they were thirteen, recruited them into the Dregs and took them to the Slat. They met Kaz a week later, and from there, it seemed as though things were going to go from terrible to bad. Still, in the general sense, pretty sucky, but at least better than it was before.

And, by the time they’d hit eighteen, they found that they were right. Things went from terrible to bad, and then they went from bad to simply ‘meh’. Y/N found that, in the Barrel, there were bad days, there were worse ones, and there were days in which one merely survived, and that was certainly enough.

“They’re calling you the Phantom saint,” Kaz said as Y/N walked into his office. They grinned, rolling their eyes a bit as they took off their Tidemaker kefta, a gift sent to them by Nina whilst she worked abroad with a tailor.

Kaz had the entirety of the third floor to himself, and as much was evident in the recent expansions of his office. As Y/N entered, they spot a settee to the left, books and papers scattered over a coffee table. Farther into the room sits Kaz behind his desk, DeKappel painting on a half wall to his left. Candles and lamps light the room, and as they approach, they catch a half melted candle just beyond a small archway leading to Kaz’s bedroom, sitting on a night stand.

“Saint?” Y/N asked.“I’m a killer, Brekker. Every person I’ve killed has been a means to an end.”

“Most kills are just that,” he said. “They’re a means to an end. In your case, they’re more. They’re a business transaction.”

“I kill for the fun of it,” Y/N placed their kefta on the settee, catching the sight of Kaz’s cane, leaned against his desk and glinting in the light. “The money I make is just an added bonus.”

“The ones you kill are what makes the people here believe you’re a saint,” said Kaz. “Be glad they don’t know your face, Y/N.”

“What, would you have to parade me around and pretend to be in love with me for the sake of getting pigeons to the Crow Club?” Y/N teased.

“You make me sound like a wonderful actor,” said Kaz. “Though, if we need someone to act like they’re in love with you, I’m afraid my performance will be a little too convincing.”

“I love you too, Brekker,” Y/N gave him their best grin and he rolled his eyes, pausing his work on the heist at hand.

“Two years with the winter solstice,” he said. Y/N leaned against the wall with the DeKappel on it, nodding at him.

“Feels like yesterday,” and it did. “I’ve loved every moment.”

“As have I,” Kaz said. Y/N ventured into his room, finding the glasses and brandy where he kept them; the second drawer of his nightstand. They walked out and placed the cups on his desk, popping open the brandy.

Y/N poured the glasses and slid one to him, the pair cheers’ing the glasses.

“To a year and a half,” said Y/N.

“To the best year and a half Barrel scum can hope to have,” Kaz said. The pair of them both nodded, taking sips of their respective glasses.

“What prompted your visit?” Kaz asked. Y/N shrugged at that.

“I have intel on Van Kaarl,” Y/N said. “Information about where he keeps his Grisha indentures.”

“Word of mouth?”

“Word of mouth that can be confirmed by Inej,” you quipped. “He was standing three feet from the waves. Be glad I used the water to eavesdrop rather than allowing it to swallow him and his associate whole.”

“You could’ve drowned him from the inside out that very second,” said Kaz. “I must admit, I admire your restraint. I wouldn’t have had such strength.”

“I barely managed to go without,” Y/N admitted. “Inej can confirm the intel. As can Nina.”

“How?”

“Nina had taken her for waffles at the Kooperom,” you said. “They heard it by accident.”

“And what of you?”

“I’d grabbed tea from there earlier. I was watching the sunrise from the harbor. Van Kaarl stood a few feet away. He was within earshot.”

“And this intel?”

“Until he has them brought to his household, he keeps them in a series of farmhouses in southeastern Kerch.”

“That area borders Shu Han.”

Y/N nodded at that. “I have an idea of a location for the farmhouse. I know that there’s a village of them on the southeastern coast, most of them around or on beaches of some variety.”

“A village does the opposite of narrowing down a location.”

“Until you recall that Van Kaarl had a son,” Y/N said, grinning. “There are a few two floor lock ups in a beach town with townhomes and farmhomes for aesthetics purposes. Kerch government officials use them as vacation homes. Before Jan Van Eck got arrested and booted to Hellgate, he had three in Wylans mothers name.”

“You’re a genius,” Kaz said, taking a sip of his brandy. “Do you have Kaarls sons name, then?”

“His son died when he was seventeen. He was killed by Pekka Rollins after a con that lasted several months,” said Y/N. “His only daughter is alive and working for the Dime Lions as a result.”

“So?”

“So, with his daughters name, which, by the way, has legally been changed, we get the names on the deed to the multiple houses that Van Kaarl uses as Grisha storage units.”

“Their names?”

“Jamie Van Kaarl and Cella Rollins,” Y/N said, taking a sip of their brandy. “However, Cellas name is not Cella Rollins on the deeds. It’s Cella Van Kaarl.”

Kaz downed the rest of his brandy before pouring himself another glass.

“If Jamie is deceased, and Cella has changed her name,” Kaz paused, clear enough but unclear in it all the same. Kerch laws had changed just after the Ice Court, and between other heists and jobs that needed to be handled, he’d not had the time to familiarize himself with the new rules of the country.  

“All assets belonging to a deceased person, by Kerch law, must either be passed down to the next of kin or be sold for a profit in Ghezens name,” Y/N said, filling in the blank. “The same goes for faulty names or names that’ve since been changed, with the exception of the findings of documents proving a marriage, meaning that, with this, we just need to get the Grisha, prove faulty names on the deeds, and Van Kaarl can still wind up dead by tomorrow morning.”

Kaz smirked at Y/N as they said the words. “You’re still in it for the kill, even after the fact that everything you just explained would keep you from having to do it?”

“I am,” Y/N said. “He’s taken so many captive. He does not get to escape me.”

“I pity the man who is to meet the fate of Sanktis Phantomma.”

“And you should,” Y/N said, taking a sip of their brandy as they lifted a hand to run it through their hair. They put the glass down and nodded at Kaz as they turned to leave.

With that, they exited, picking up their kefta from the settee as they went.

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Fic: What We Don't Know Can't Hurt Us

Fandom: Triple Frontier

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Librarian!Reader (cishet female) meet-cute

Warnings: No warnings really, some language and mention of masturbation and sex. Reader doesn't like kids. Yearning. Frankie is a TOTAL DILF SWEETHEART. Sad ending.

Summary: Reader is a librarian who has to temp at the kids' section desk from time to time which is a pain because she doesn't like kids. And who is a regular if not a very hot, scruffy-looking dad with the very polite and mild-mannered daughter? Sparks fly but some things maybe aren't meant to be.

Words: 5,155

a/n: Just to be clear, this one doesn't end well. I just wanted to write something sad, I guess.

Oh, shit, there he is again. The Hot Dad.

You straighten a little in your chair and once again curse the fact that you’re working in the children’s section at the library: the only desk that isn’t adjustable. You prefer to do your service desk duties standing up, not only for ergonomic reasons but because you hate how patrons look down on you – literally – when you’re seated by the desk. Also, you tend to slouch and it’s not an attractive look. And at the kids’ section, you’re all supposed to work on the same level as the little tykes. And you’re not particularly keen on those.

You are, however, keen on hot dads. God knows you only get them once in a blue moon and if they show up, it’s usually in tow of a whole clan of children and a wife. But this dad has been in once before when you’ve had desk duty and you saw him stop at the shelf for picture books about divorce and pick out a few. You also heard him tell his little girl that she shouldn’t bring the books she chose to her mom’s. Divorcee, so fantasizing was even more allowed – although he probably had a girlfriend. Guys like that always do.

“You don’t want to lose them, sweetie,” he had explained patiently to his daughter. “You can keep them in your room at my place but if you take them to your mom’s there’s a risk you lose them and that means I have to pay for them. You see, we’re only borrowing these books, that’s what you do in a library.”

You had smiled an inwards smile when listening to him. There was nothing you loved more than parents who actually seemed to understand that all the material in the library was free at one simple condition: return it in time, in the same condition as you borrowed it. A lot of people did not seem to grasp this and made a huge deal when they failed to meet these conditions and were faced with late fees or even had to compensate for lost books. But when parents who knew how to use a library include their offspring, explain how it all works for them, well, that’s how you foster a new generation of good library patrons.

This dad did just that. And he was very careful with the books, prompting his daughter to be the same. Every book she pulled out of the stacks, he helped her put back in the right place. That’s practically marriage material right there and it was enough to make you weak at the knees, to be honest. After almost ten years working in a public library, you were disillusioned about people in general and their intelligence in particular. Sure, you liked your job enough to not cry in the mornings when you had to leave bed, and you did enjoy the work itself (mostly), but… having to deal with people was exhausting. Having to deal with little people even more so, and the worst was having to deal with adult people who had little people with them. Parents.

Hence your absolute obsession with Hot Dad who was soft-spoken, really good with his kid, understood to appreciate the library and its services, nodded his hello to you when passing by the desk, didn’t make a mess, clearly read to his kid regularly and encouraged her to read for herself. You just didn’t get to see people like that so often, and it triggered your interest. You allowed yourself to daydream about him.

Francisco Morales. You remember his name from his last visit, when he and the kid came up to the desk with their haul. You always encouraged patrons to use the self-service check-out (the less you had to do deal with them, the better), but for this guy you were more than willing to go the extra service mile, even with the kid staring at your every move from across the desk as you registered all the loans. You silently gave her plus points for not trying to “help” like some kids did, and for the quiet but clear Thank you she gave you without prompting from her father.

You’re busying yourself with the returns, loading them onto a cart, when you hear a soft, deep voice go Excuse me behind your back. You twirl around and see Morales, pulling his baseball cap off his head to reveal curls that would make any hair model cry of envy.

“Sorry to bother you,” he offers. Take me now, you think to yourself but instead, you give him your brightest customer service smile, the one you rarely give patrons.

“No worries, how can I help?”

“We’re looking for picture books about farm animals. You don’t happen to have those separated? I noticed you have some subject areas separated.” He gestures back towards the picture book stacks where his daughter is quietly perusing.

“We don’t, but I think we have some Julia Donaldsons available, let me come and have a look.”

You don’t always offer. With most patrons, you’d tell them to look under D for Donaldson and then smile sweetly and ask them if they’re okay to do it themselves. You can’t do everything for everyone, that way they’ll never learn. But for Francisco Morales and his well-behaved little girl, you’re absolutely willing to make an exception.

There are some Donaldsons that the girl, whose name you learn is Sofia, eagerly accepts when you present her with them.

“I love fawm animals,” she sighs happily as she browses the first one. “Do you?”

“Who doesn’t love animals?” You make the effort to small talk although communicating with kids usually makes you awkward.

“What’s youw favowite? Mine is bunny. And howses. And lambs.”

“Goats! I love goats, they’re so cute and sweet and playful.” You almost add something about goats being the devil’s favorite animal as well but manage to stop yourself in time.

“Is there something else you want to ask the librarian?” Morales asks his daughter. “If not, I’m sure she has a lot of work to do, and we shouldn’t keep her any longer.”

“I’m here to help,” you shrug and give him a little smile: not a polite, impersonal one that you’d give a patron, but a more intimate one. A flirty smile. “You just need to ask.”

The smile he gives you back is warm and grateful, and you realize that he doesn’t have different facial expressions for different people. He doesn’t work in customer service because if he did, he’d know the difference. Not that you ever thought he worked in retail or anything like that, well, maybe a hardware store, but no. He just doesn’t seem like the type. The way he moves his body suggests something a lot more physical.

Oh, you’d like to get physical with him, alright…

All the sucky library-themed pick-up lines flash through your head. Can I check you out as an overnight loan? Can I insert my private collection into your empty stacks? My reference desk or yours? Am I being too loud, well, you’ll just have to shush me with your lips. You’re like an overdue library book because you have fine written all over you.

Worst part is, if Hot Dad Morales tried any of these on you, you’d probably forgive him and go for it. Maybe. You’re really not that simple, but a girl can dream, right?

The kid thanks you and you return to the relative safety of the desk and the mundane task of alphabetizing returns. You need to calm the fuck down and act professional. Daydreaming is fine but you’re barely toeing the line.

God, you need to get laid. As if that’s something that one can remedy just by walking into a store and ordering a medium dick with a side of hands and tongue.

📚📚📚

The next time you see Francisco and Sofia Morales, you’re taking your lunch break in the small park outside the library. It’s a sunny day and you didn’t fancy sitting in the breakroom with your salad, listening to colleagues talking about who cares what. So you took your lunch box, fork, and water bottle, and went to sit on the park bench the furthest away from the swing set and sandbox. The weather is nice and you enjoy yourself and your break from the library’s chat service. You never know what you’re gonna get when you work the chat: a stupid question about opening hours which anyone could google the answer to, or something more complicated like requests for books with partial or no titles, rarities, or subject areas that you don’t know much about. That’s when you get to use your whole competence and really dig deep, think outside the box, solve problems. You love it but it’s challenging at times, and takes a lot of energy. Your outdoor break is welcome.

“Hi!”

You hadn’t noticed the girl walking up to you and the greeting startles you.

“Oh, hi.”

“We’we wetuwning the animal books,” Sofia informs you seriously. You have to smile.

“Good job. You want more of those or something else this time?”

“Mowe. Will you help me find some?”

“I’m not working the desk at the children’s section today but my colleague there will absolutely help you. Just ask her.”

Now you see Morales walking towards you from the swing set, carrying the large, flowery canvas tote that says “book bag” he always brings to the library.

“Hello,” he nods with that warm smile that he definitely gives everyone. “Sofia, don’t disturb the lady on her break. I’m sure she wants some peace and quiet before she has to go back to work.”

Jesus fucking Christ. How does this man just know shit like this?

“I’m sowwy,” Sofia immediately offers. “I wanted to say hello.”

“Don’t worry, it’s okay,” you allow, although technically, he’s not wrong. “I’m almost done. It was nice to see you. I hope you have a good visit to the library.”

“Thank you!” She skips along and Morales chuckles as he takes off his baseball cap and scratches his head, swipes his long locks out of his forehead, then puts the hat back on.

“You’re her favorite, you know,” he tells you. When you raise your eyebrow, not comprehending, he hurries to elaborate. “Of the librarians. She says you’re the best.”

“Thank you, but whatever for?” You know you do a good enough job at your usual position and that your regulars appreciate you, but you are also very aware of not being at your finest in the kids’ section.

“You have to ask her,” Morales grins as he looks out for his kid, who has returned to the swing set and is pumping her legs on the swing, brows knitted in concentration. “But she’s very taken with you. I think it’s because you’re very calm and focused with her.”

Calm and focused??? You almost laugh out loud. That’s everything you’re not when you’re at the kids’ desk.

“Thanks,” you manage, because you have to say something.

“She’s also really interested in your tattoos and I definitely think she wants to get her nose pierced now,” Morales goes on. “I told her that we don’t comment on people’s appearance, but just a heads up, she might ask you about those.”

Ah, the unpredictability of children.

“I appreciate it.” You really do. You don’t mind talking about your tattoos or the septum ring you have but if a kid suddenly asks about it, you’d rather be prepared.

“Anyway, sorry to intrude on your lunch.”

“No worries,” you reassure him. “You can… sit down for a while if you want to? I have ten minutes left.”

Your heart beats faster at your proposal. It’s not exactly appropriate but you just want to enjoy his company for a moment. And discreetly sniff him because he smells so fucking good, woodsy and smokey but with a hint of… vanilla? You’re terrible at recognizing smells but it reminds you of some aroma reeds you had a couple of years ago that smelled like a wood cabin with vanilla sugar spilled on the floor. You loved it but like everything you love, it was discontinued.

Morales looks over at his daughter before nodding, the book bag slipping down from his shoulder as he places it next to the bench.

“If you’re sure?”

“Wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.”

He likes your straightforward answer, you can tell from how his eyes crinkle a little and how relaxed his body language is when he sits down.

“I’m Frankie, by the way,” he says, like he just remembered that introductions are a normal part of human interaction. He extends his right hand to you and as you accept it and tell him your name, you can’t help but marvel at how huge his hand is. Big, warm, slightly damp but not in a weird way.

“Nice to meet you, Frankie.” Frankie. Francisco Morales is Frankie. It suits him better than Francisco, to be honest.

“And that’s Sofia.” He points to the girl who seems content swinging by herself. You realize you’re expected to say something nice about her to the proud dad.

“She seems sweet.”

“Yeah, she’s awesome. And she loves coming to the library, it’s all she talks about when I have her.” He clears his throat and adds: “Her mother and I got divorced quite recently. I only get her five days every other week.”

“Sorry to hear that.” Shit, it’s divorce and custody talk from the start. You have no idea how to respond to that.

“That’s life,” he shrugs, “but I figured that going to the library every time I get her could be a good routine to ground her. And then we have books that we can read together for her entire stay.”

It’s definitely a good routine as far as you can tell.

“When I was between nine and thirteen years old, my dad would take me to the local library every Monday evening,” you tell him, smiling at the memory. “My dad never opened a book in his life but he patiently read the auto and tech magazines while I collected half the kids’ section with me. When I went to tell him that I was done, he always pretended to object to the amounts, but then he’d help me carry it all to the car.”

As you tell him this, you’re looking at him, no, staring at the patchy, grey-splashed beard he’s sporting. It’s the most fascinating thing you’ve ever seen. What’s the story there, why doesn’t it grow evenly? Is this a thing? You don’t have enough experience in the field of facial hair. Is it genetic? Is it always like this?

He keeps looking at his daughter as he listens to you with a small smile on his face, clearly enjoying your little anecdote.

“That’s lovely,” he says, turning his attention back to you when you’re finished. “Dads and daughters, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

You pick up your phone to check the time. Shit. You have to return to the chat.

“I gotta go. Lunch break’s over.”

You collect your things and stand up, brushing off your skirt. Frankie stands up as well and picks up the book bag.

“I’ll see you in there?”

“I’m not a the desk today.”

“Oh.” He seems disappointed, his eyes flickering from you to the ground. “That’s too bad.”

“And the kids' section isn't my primary department.”

“The bad news just keep on coming, don't they,” he jokes as the two of you start to walk towards the entrance. Sofia jumps from the swing and comes running.

“She's not at the desk today, daddy,” she tells Frankie precociously.

“I know, mija. We'll have to ask someone else about the animal books, okay?”

Sofia doesn't seem too happy with this solution but nods. You take your leave before she has the opportunity to ask about your body modifications, and disappear through a door marked “Staff Only”.

📚📚📚

The following weeks you seem to see Frankie everywhere. You run into him at the supermarket and get drafted into advicing him on what cereal to buy for his kid. “Something healthy, but good so she'll actually eat it.” How the hell should I know? you want to scoff, but you're simping for him enough to help him choose something you'd never in a thousand years touch yourself. You see him in town one afternoon when you're running errands and he suggests you grab a coffee - holy hell, in your book that's a fucking date - but you decline as kindly as you can, citing a busy schedule when in fact you're mostly just scared out of your mind. The daydream is becoming a little too real and you're absolutely not ready for that, especially not because of the kid. If it wasn't for Sofia, you could have dared the leap, but dating a guy relatively fresh out of a marriage, and with a kid to boot? No, that's asking for trouble and you don't want trouble.

One afternoon at the kids' desk, you once again get to help Sofia find books, this time on sharks.

“She went from farm animals to sharks in one week,” Frankie confides in you when the girl is sitting quietly in a reading nook, carefully studying every page and occasionally widening her eyes at what you suspect is pictures of shark teeth. “It's sharks this and sharks that. She asks if there are sharks in every body of water she sees, from the pond in the park to the ditch outside my parents' house.”

“Have her watch Jaws and she will never want to think about sharks ever again,” you suggest, earning a laugh although the idea was probably a little bit on the morbid side.

“Maybe, but that would probably scar her for life. I actually want her to learn how to swim.”

“Then best not.”

You pick up a couple of books someone else left behind on a table and make a gesture that says I have to re-shelve these, come with and Frankie follows you to the right shelf.

“You know, she talks about you as her friend at the library.”

Now, some people would find that adorable but you don't. You're not friends with this kid, you're in a position where you could possibly influence her keenness to literature and literacy but you will always risk critique from her guardians. Being a children's librarian is like a hybrid between being in customer service, and being a teacher. You get to form young malleable minds but you are always subjected to criticism, even when you've done nothing wrong. Kids are patrons, like adults, and to have them see you as friends is only going to complicate things.

“That's nice,” you reply carefully, not really sure what else to say. It's so hard to talk to parents sometimes, one wrong words and you're basically Satan, you can't know because you don't have kids yourself, how dare you not worship the ground my offspring just vomited all over?

“You're definitely her favorite librarian.”

That you can take. You have a couple of adult patrons who come in regularly and prefer to get their reading recommendations from you. They always have time to discuss literature and they bring you a box of chocolates for Christmas.

“Well, she's easy to help. She always knows what she wants and she's polite. And quite easy to please,” you smile, meaning every word. You don't mention that the only time you like kids is when they're like Sofia is right now: reading quietly in a corner, handling the books with care.

“You're my favorite librarian as well,” Frankie adds, and now that sweet smile he's always wearing when you see him is shy. There's definitely a red tinge on his cheekbones as well and it makes you want to lean forward and kiss him on his goddamn mouth with that goddamn full lower lip that he sometimes sucks into his mouth or fucking licks...

“How many librarians do you know?” you ask and manage to sound easy-going, or at least you think so. The laugh Frankie produces is low and rolling and it makes your stomach coil in on itself. Fuck him and that deep voice he rode in on!

“Got me there. It's basically you and Mrs Wilkerson, the school librarian who scared the shit out of me when I was in elementary school. She made sure I didn't step foot in a library until, well, now.”

“Oh, I so wanted to be a librarian like that when I was a kid!” You grin at Frankie's horrified expression. “No, no, hear me out! I always had this idea that those librarians led these super rich, fulfilling lives as night-time vigilantes or that they were actually millionaires who spent their free time floating around in pools with fancy drinks in hand.”

“Were you... a normal child, besides these illusions?” Frankie teases you and before you can stop yourself, you're slapping his arm playfully. Like a girlfriend would. Or someone more intimate than a Favorite Librarian, at any rate.

“I'll have you know that the voices in my head are saying that we had a very normal and healthy childhood,” you reply with as much dignity as you can muster, while desperately wishing for the phone to ring or another patron to ask for your help. But no, the ones present seem to be managing on their own - except for one mom who seemed to have overheard your joke because she is now staring at you with hesitation in her eyes.

It's Sofia who comes to your rescue with her request of being taken to the bathroom. By the time she and Frankie are done there, your colleague has come to relieve you of your duties at the children's section.

📚📚📚

You knew of course that it was coming. You may not be that experienced in the terms of dating and relationships but you weren't stupid and you had some experience: Frankie was going to ask you out. It had to happen. Technically, it had already happened that afternoon in town when he asked you out for coffee. He maybe didn't see it as a date, but you certainly did.

It happened when you had just started your shift in the children's section and it was a fucking mess. A class of kindergarteners had just left and the teachers hadn't bothered to keep them in check, so there were not only books on every available surface, they were also put in the wrong way and in the wrong places. Your colleague who you were relieving stayed behind to help you, feeling too bad to leave it all to you.

That's when Daddy and Daughter Morales showed up. You weren't really happy about the existence of kids in the first place but made an effort for Sofia, who brought you a drawing she had made in preschool that day. It featured some figures in green, slightly reminiscent of animals and one human but you wouldn't be able to tell. Luckily, Frankie explained it to you.

“She's waited all day to give you this drawing of you with goats.”

“Wow,” you manage. “Thank you, Sofia, this was so kind of you.”

The girl is beaming with pride. “Will you put it on the wall?”

“Super probably!”

“I can see you're busy,” Frankie notes and ushers Sofia along. “We won't distract you. Come on, honey, let her do her job now and maybe you'll get to talk to her later.”

You nod your thanks and focus on cleaning up the entire department before you colleague leaves and Frankie and Sofia come to the desk to borrow this week' picks. Sofia seems uncharacteristically giddy.

“Do you want to come with us to the awbowetum?” she asks with a wide, expectant smile. Fuck shit ass hell.

“We're going on Saturday,” Frankie fills in, “and we were both hoping you'd want to join?”

Saturday. Thank goodness.

“Sorry, I work on Saturday,” you say, trying to sound rueful. It's true and you're relieved about not having to lie. “But thanks, it's sweet of you to ask.”

Sofia is clearly disappointed and so is Frankie, but he masks it better.

“Some other time, yeah?”

If it were only him, you'd tell him it wasn't a good idea. But you can't say that with the kid right in front of you. You may not like kids but that doesn't mean you want to scar them for life.

“Yeah, maybe.”

You loan them the books and as they leave, Sofia waves happily at you and Frankie shoots you one last smile that makes you press your thighs together in your seat.

Come Saturday, you're by your usual desk in the section for adult fiction and you almost fall off your chair when you see Frankie come up the stairs and straight up to the desk.

“Hi.” He's had a haircut and a shave and looks different. Still good, but very different. The dark locks of his hair are more tamed. The mustache is still there but you miss the patchy beard.

“Um, hi? Where's Sofia?”

“In the car, with a friend. We're going to the arboretum.”

“Right. I hope you have a good time, the arboretum's lovely.” You still don't understand what he's doing here and he seems to have some difficulty in telling you. Moving his weight from one foot to the other, he scratches his neck and looks down - why does he have to be so freaking cute? - before looking up at you.

“About that... I wanted to apologize. I wasn't sure it was a good idea to ask you to come with, but Sofia was so persistent. She likes you so much. I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. I'm sorry.”

“That's alright,” you brush it off because there's not really anything else you can say. “Don't think about it, just go have a good day.”

“I also wanted to ask if you wanted to go grab a drink with me. Just me. Maybe next week when Sofia's at her mother's.”

Fuck, there it is. His hopeful face makes you hate yourself for the answer you have to give.

“I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Frankie,” you begin carefully. “I'm really flattered, but you're... recently divorced with a kid. That's a lot of baggage and things could get complicated. I don't want to get caught up in that.”

You've practiced this speech at home but it still breaks your fucking heart because Frankie is so good-looking, kind, funny, and sweet. You would've asked him out yourself already if it wasn't for the baggage. Fuck, you masturbate to the thought of him, for crying out loud! You imagine what it would be like to be with him, to make dinner together and watch movies and go to bed and wake up in each other's arms. You think about sex with him a lot. You make an effort with your appearance those days you know he'll show up at the library, you don't even mind the kids' section that much anymore because you get to talk to him.

You are fucking in love with him, or at least the idea of him because you don't know much about him, only that he used to be a pilot in the special forces but now he trains new pilots, he has best friends who are like uncles to Sofia (and who have been asking about this mystery librarian she always keeps talking about), he likes cooking and loves baking with his daughter, he hates working out but knows he should take better care of himself, hell, you even know what brand of milk he buys.

He's clearly disappointed but keeps a brave face, one that you can see right through because he wears his heart on his sleeve.

“I understand that,” he says quietly, mildly. “I'm sorry, I hope I didn't embarrass you.”

Jesus fucking Christ can this man not???

“No, don't worry. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the answer you wanted. It's just... not a good time.”

Shit. You shouldn't have said that. Now he might think it could be a better time later.

Frankie nods and smiles sadly. “Yeah, you're probably right.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

He clears his throat and nods. “I better be going. You have a good weekend now.”

“You too.”

He shoots you one final smile before he turns around and leaves. As you watch him go down the stairs to the exit level, you just want to call his name, do your run through the airport and hurry after him, throw yourself into his arms, kiss him, Jesus, imagine that somewhere there's someone who'll get to kiss him some day, tell him that you made a huge mistake and you want to go out with him, you want to have drinks with him and dinner and breakfast and lunch for the rest of your lives because nothing would make you happier than making him happy. You want to be the reason his eyes crinkle and his cheek displays that little dimple that makes you lose your train of thought every time you see it.

But it's not for you. People with kids need to prioritize their kids and you know that you can't be anyone's number two. You don't want to get caught up in custody disputes, you don't want to be "your father's new slut", you don't want to be anyone's stepmom. You don't want to have to spend five days a week in the same house as a five-year-old. Being in a relationship is difficult enough as it is and if you can make choices that avoid some of the problems, you're going to make them, no matter how much it hurts.

And it hurts. A lot. But so much in life hurts and you've made it through before.

He must already be out the door, probably in the car. Does he say something about this to his daughter and friend? Is it a female friend? No, it must be one of his army buddies, probably one of the brothers.

You pull up Frankie's profile in the library database and see his phone number. You could call him anytime. Or send a text. Keep talking to him, flirting.

Shit. It's a bad idea.

A patron approaches the desk and you force yourself to look mild and service-minded.

“Hi, do you have Hate To Want You by someone called... Ray, I think?”

“Please hold a moment, I'll check.” You stifle the sigh that threatens to escape you and hope that the day will be busy so you won't have time to think about Francisco Morales again.