#strap in folks we are in for a wild ride

[familyvideostevie]

to close up all the rest

joel miller x reader | 3.2k

a patrol rattles you. joel keeps you grounded.

cw: typical tlou violence, intense emotions about being alive/death, love, something to live for. post-part i jackson au

a/n: just a little jackson au one-shot. this is a christmas present for darling @macfrog. thank you for existing, i love you. hope this is alright.

--

It's been a long time since someone died in front of you.

You don't even know her. Honestly, you should be glad the runner grabbed her, considering she just finished shooting at you. Your patrol partner, a kid called Joey who usually works the stables, shouts your name as you watch it sink its teeth into her neck over and over again.

She doesn't even scream.

"More are coming," he cries. "We have to go."

He's right. The woman's gunshot echoed in the valley and it's not yet cold enough for the herds to be slow, so you have a few minutes at most to get out of here. Probably less.

Groans on the wind. Definitely less.

You shake yourself out of the twisted thrall you've fallen into and look away. Heart in your throat, blood pounding in your ears, you quickly tie your bags to your horse and scan the street.

"Do you have your pack?" you ask Joey.

If she was screaming you'd shoot her. Put an end to it. But it might be a waste of a shot and then the runner would be on you in ten big steps. Fuck.

"Got it!"

You both mount skittish rides and take off down the cracked pavement. The patrol had an added ask of raiding some neighborhoods for linens that can be turned into bandages. You each have a big bag of old clothes, curtains, blankets, and the like strapped to the back of your saddles. The woman had appeared out of the tree line just as you finished the last house, demanding your stuff. There was protocol for this -- Joey would distract her while you went for the gun strapped to the back of your jeans.

But she was skittish, this woman. She fired at the pavement in front of you as soon as your hand twitched.

And then, well.

After a few miles of steady galloping you signal for Joey to slow. The forest is quiet as you turn onto the path down the hill that will lead you back to Jackson.

"I can't believe she shot at us," the kid says. "Stupid."

You sigh. "She was desperate," you say, remembering how wild her eyes looked. "And alone. If she had people with her she wouldn't have."

"You think?"

It's been some time but you did your days alone in this world. It's bloody, it's terrifying, it's punishing. You stop trusting anyone and eventually you stop trusting yourself. Wondering why you keep trying. Without community you lose sight of what matters. You lose sight of how you can not just survive this hell on earth, but live in it.

If she had wanted to do that, instead, maybe you could have told her it was possible.

"Yeah," you say. The walls of Jackson come into view and you think about what awaits you. A warm house, an even warmer embrace. Safety, security, home. "Having people makes all the difference."

Joey waves the green flag and the gates open for you. After returning your horse and checking to make sure the kid isn't too traumatized -- frankly, he seems totally unbothered -- you walk back to the house. The sun is starting to set, painting everything golden, but you can see the clouds rolling in. Might be that snow that everyone keeps anticipating. Most mornings you hear chatter about it. Small talk about the weather persists after the end of the world.

A few folks wave hello, ask after Ellie's new dog, say they hope you've got your firewood ready. Jackson is a thing out of dreams. Solid walls, even steadier people. Good rules, smart leaders. You feel lucky every day that they let you stay here. That you've made a home here.

That home is in sight when you turn on Rancher and what you spy on the porch makes you pick up your pace.

Joel.

He's rocking in the one chair out front, guitar slung across his lap like an afterthought as he strums with his eyes closed. It'll be too cold to sit out, soon, so he spends most evenings playing while he can still stand it.

A heaviness you didn't realize you were carrying lessens a little at the sight of him.

"Hey, stranger," you call as you walk up the steps.

His gaze falls on you, the hazel in his irises more evident in the fading light of the late afternoon. God, he looks beautiful. Like everything you've ever wanted.

"Howdy," he says. The guitar goes up against the house and he stands, meeting you at the top step. "How was patrol?"

You falter, smile frozen on your face. You should tell him, but you don't know what you'd say. A stranger died in front of you and it's put your stomach in knots? It's not that he'll laugh at you, or anything like that. You just need to chew on it a little longer. And right now you're steps away from the warm inside of your home and inches away from the man you love, so you decide to push it aside.

"The usual," you muse. Joel furrows his brow just a little and searches your gaze, but whatever he finds in your eyes causes him to let it go.

"Okay," he says, softly. He taps your chin with his knuckle and turns toward the front door, snagging his guitar on the way. "You hungry? Ellie brought by some soup."

"Did she make it?"

Your layers go on the hooks by the door, your boots next to his in the hall. He heads for the kitchen.

"Hell no," Joel says, deep voice echoing through your house. "Dina did."

"So it's edible?"

You pad on socked feet over creaking hardwood and find him over a pot on the stove, bowl in hand.

"Tried a bit and it didn't kill me," he says. "Waited for you to get home to eat, though."

"And Tommy says you were raised in a barn," you tease, kissing his cheek before he ladles the soup for you.

Joel grunts and you laugh. "Hot bowl," he says. "Careful."

For some reason, his gentle caution makes your chest hurt. You think about the woman from today, how she had no one telling her to be careful. How she made a mistake, or maybe a reckless choice. How she didn't even scream.

There are many very difficult days in this life and you dealt with them on your own for a long time. It's taken practice and mounds of patience from Joel and the other people in this town who love you, but you've learned that you can let other people help you through those days. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard.

You sit at the table across from Joel and try not to let your mood take over.

"You alright?" Joel asks, frown firmly in place. "Maybe Ellie did make the soup--"

"It's good, Joel," you say, smiling a little. If he asks you how you are one more time, you'll crack. And you're not ready yet. "Will you tell me about your day?"

He sighs, no doubt seeing through your second deflection, but allows it.

"Let's see," he starts, leaning back in his chair. "Tommy had me handlin' that bullshit with the kids who went huntin'."

Last week, three teenagers snuck out with the grand idea that they'd bag an elk or something just as big and bring it back for fame and glory or whatever kids think is worth life and death these days. It hadn't gone as badly as it could have, but it was pretty bad. They'd stolen a rifle from the patrol cache and only made it a few miles before one of them slipped down a bank and broke his ankle. Joel had been the one to lead the search party when someone realized they were missing.

He's got a soft spot for teenagers.

"It's good for them to learn," you remind him. He sucks on his teeth and rubs at his jaw. You slurp on some more soup and a thought at odds with your sour mood dances through your memory -- how good his beard felt on your skin last night. Jesus. He does something to you, this man.

"Should know better," he says, oblivious to the echo of your desire. "Havin' them clean all the guns is one thing but once that kid heals up I'm tellin' Tommy we oughta start a trainin' class or somethin'. Let them get outside the walls and hunt if they want. With supervision."

"Keep talking like that and Maria will make you join the council," you muse.

He snorts. "Yeah, I'm sure as shit not doin' that."

"You'd be good at it, Joel. People listen to you."

"I have a hard enough time gettin' my own kid to listen to me," he reminds you. "Hell, you, too."

It's less of a jab and more of an attempt to get you to cheer up, and it works. You laugh at him, delighted to vex him so. As if he does anything but melt for Ellie. And for you -- both of you know just how wrapped around you he is. He'll do anything for his family. You've seen proof of it.

"If only the council had a uniform," you sigh, exaggerating your disappointment. "You'd look so handsome in one."

"Watch it," he says, eyes sparkling.

You tap his foot under the table with yours. "Just being truthful," you tease, though it rings a little hollow given the fact that you're swerving talking about your own day.

Joel hums and leans back in his chair. "You gonna tell me what happened today?"

"What do you mean?"

Even as you chew on how to swerve him once again, you find yourself going back to the patrol. The way your senses sharpened when she stepped out of the trees, how you saw all the ways it could go wrong. Her twitchy hand, her wide eyes. The crack in her voice when she demanded your packs. The echo of the gunshot and your own heartbeat loud in your ears wondering if today was the day you wouldn't make it home. When the runner leapt out of nowhere and latched onto her. How easily your life could have ended that way, too.

"Hey, I'm talkin' to you," Joel says, not unkindly. "Where are you?"

You chew on your lower lip. This would be a lot easier if the words would just come to you, if you knew how to explain yourself.

"Joel--"

"Alright, that's it," he says. Joel gets up with a groan, stretching his arms high in the air, and heads for the front door.

"What?" you ask, confused, but you follow him into the hall. "Joel, where are you going?"

"We're goin' for a walk." He shrugs on his jacket and waves you over. "C'mon."

"But the dishes--"

"Will be here when we get back," he finishes. "Now, get your coat on. Hat, too. Reckon the snow is gonna start tonight."

You could fight him about it, say you're cold and tired and just want to sit on the couch. Tell him to stop badgering you, to let sleeping dogs lie.

But that's the thing about Joel -- you trust him. Outside the walls, inside your home. With your life and with your heart. You're safe in his hands. And you've been here before plenty of times. After nightmares from both of you, after hard days in town, after his fights with Ellie or Tommy or whatever it is. You walk and you talk it out. Fresh air helps, Joel often says. It's the father in him, the caretaker, the man who knows when to listen and when to push. He's taught you a lot about that.

So you shove your feet back into your boots and Joel tugs a knit hat over your ears. The sun finished setting while you were eating, Jackson now illuminated by the gas lamps and string lights hanging between the posts.

Normally you'd be content to just walk with Joel side by side, as is your usual routine. He's not a particularly public man when it comes to affection, though you never doubt that he's thinking of you. His eyes find yours in every room and he easily finds you in every crowd. By now, you've got your own language.

But, given that he's brought you out here to no doubt get you to be honest about your complicated feelings, he offers you his arm for support. You take it with a dry look that he matches.

Never one to let you off easily, this man. Not when he knows he can help, at least.

"You know what I'm gonna say," he grumbles.

It helps to talk.

It's basically a mantra in your house. Ellie says he didn't used to be like this. The total opposite, in fact. You know that it's her that brought him back to this version of himself -- he did it because she asked. And maybe you coming along helped, too. He might seem gruff and guarded to those who don't know him but it's all so he can protect who and what he loves.

And this is one of his ways -- not letting things go unsaid.

"I don't know where to start," you say. "I don't know how to explain it."

Joel rubs a hand over his jaw. "Try the beginning," he suggests. "It was patrol, right? Somethin' happened?"

You nod.

"We saw a woman," you start. You close your eyes and picture her, letting Joel lead you down the street. "She came out of the woods just as we finished the last house."

"Hostile?"

You look at Joel. His jaw is tense, as if you're not standing in front of him safe and sound. Always trying to fix hurts he had nothing to do with.

"She had a gun, yeah," you continue. "Demanded our stuff. We were ready to do the protocol but then she shot at us."

Joel stops in his tracks, pulling you with him. "She did what?"

"And missed, obviously," you remind him. "But it was a stupid mistake, since we weren't far from that town with the herd. She had to have seen traces of them and known they were there."

"Christ," he mutters. You tug on his arm and he starts walking again.

"And before we could do anything a runner tackled her to the ground."

Joel curses under his breath. "Unlucky."

It starts to snow. You look up at the white flakes falling from the dark sky as you figure out how to say what happened next.

"Go on," Joel says, softly. "This is the part that bothered you, I reckon."

"She didn't even scream, Joel," you whisper just loud enough for him to hear. "She just went down."

"Ah."

All of it comes to a boil and the words pour out of you.

"I mean, why did she shoot in the first place? She was jumpy, sure, but she was alone, too. She looked so tired, so desperate, and the way it lunged for her I know it didn't kill her on the first bite. No screaming, she just took it. She took it and gave up. I don't -- she must have had nothing, to give up like that. It's just so fucked up --"

Your voice breaks. Joel pulls you to a stop and unwinds your arms so he can put his hands on your shoulders.

"Ain't nothin' you can do about someone else's lot," he says. "She made her mistakes."

"I know," you retort, "but that could have been me."

"It ain't you."

"But it could have been, Joel!" You're not angry with him, but you're frustrated. "If things had worked out differently for me, it could have been. If I never found Jackson, if I was still out there. It could have been me."

He exhales sharply, reigning in his own desire to remind you that you're safe. That you're here, that you're with him. That he won't let anything bad happen to you.

"Lots of things could be different," he says, slowly. "Could spend days thinkin' 'bout that stuff. Years."

"I guess I'm just sad for her." The snow has gathered in Joel's hair and you reach for him to brush it away. He allows it, keeping his eyes on yours. "I think she wanted to die."

"It's a hard life on the road."

You sigh. "I know, Joel," you say. "I just -- it's been a long time since things have been that bad for me. And it was hard to be reminded, you know?"

His hands move from your shoulders to cup your face, thumbs your skin. "I know, sweetheart," he replies. "We've all been there. Hard not to think about givin' up at least once in this shit hole."

It gets a dry laugh out of you.

"But you ain't givin' up. You fight tooth and nail every single time 'cause you've got so much to get back to. And it'll get you home."

You lean into one of his palms, your lips brushing along the heel of his hand. "I know, Joel."

He's not done. "For a long time I was like that. Not carin' much how things went, so long as I got to get my hands dirty. But Ellie --" he swallows, the love he has for his girl getting in the way of his words " -- and you tie me to this damn place. Make me get up every day, make me remember how things can be good. And someday it'll be my turn --"

"Joel--"

"No, listen. Someday it'll be my turn, and I'll go knowin' I was the luckiest son of a bitch in the world to get what I got. Time."

You can't take it anymore. You pitch forward into his chest, arms wrapping around his waist. Now that he's said it, you realize why the whole thing bothered you so much. You don't want to die. You don't want to lose the life you have now. The home you have with this man, the way he loves you. The way you love him. It makes you feel human, it makes you feel alive.

And you feel damn bad for anyone who doesn't have something to live for.

Joel's hand presses into your spine. Maybe in a different life you'd be worried that he'd think you're silly for being so bothered about this, but he always takes you seriously. You both know how quickly you can lose something, how much it matters to make the time you have count.

"Thank you," you say into his jacket. He scoffs.

"C'mon, now." He gently pulls away from your embrace to look at you. He brushes snow from your shoulders and hat with careful fingers. "Let's go home."

Home. For so long you never thought you'd have one.

Joel must see the vulnerability in your eyes because he leans in to press his lips to yours gently. An anchoring touch, a reminder of how he feels.

"Getting frisky, Mr. Miller," you mutter when he pulls away. He snickers and you sneak another kiss as he pinches your hip through your coat.

"Home," he says again.

You couldn't agree more.

[marlynnofmany]

Sledding

The architecture in this alien city was strange: undulating concrete all over the place, with some buildings underground and some set on top. Everything was painted in wild colors. It reminded me of a skate park. I was curious about the history behind it all, and whether the local Heatseekers had worked with any other species on it. I hadn’t seen the little lizardy folks build things like this before.

Zhee didn’t know. He also didn’t care, more interested in getting our delivery done before the distant rainclouds arrived. He clicked across the concrete on his many bug legs, hissing at me to keep up and not drop the package.

He probably would have liked to be the one carrying it, but I’d grabbed it first. My hands were more suited to carrying this size box than his mantis pinchers were anyway. I walked faster. Getting caught in the rain didn’t sound like a good time to me either.

Then we rounded a corner and topped a hill to where there was more ambient noise, and hmm: problem. It looked like the previous rainclouds had made for some unexpected flooding. A valley with high sides was filled with rushing, muddy water. Heatseekers stood on either side with their own signs of commerce, debating how to get across.

“Can’t we just go to the bridge?” one asked, sounding like she knew the answer already. Her purple-blue scales clashed with the orange vest she wore.

An older female in a similar vest shook her head. “Too far. The bosses want this fixed an hour ago.” She rapped scaly green knuckles on the hoversled holding tightly-strapped-down machine parts. “Traffic’s going to pick up soon, and the rich and powerful will be complaining.”

A truly ancient male with patchy blue scales peered at the contents of the sled. “Are you kids here to fix the water lock?”

The middle-aged female gave him a look that was part amusement, part exhaustion. “We are. Unfortunately it’s on the other side of the water.” She waved toward the gushing current.

Several other Heatseekers stood on the other side, three in orange vests. One cupped hands to his snout and yelled, “Ride it across!”

The younger female winced, shrinking back from the water far below. The older one sighed.

The old male cackled with the glee of an elder who was about to watch someone else do something he wouldn’t be expected to. “This should be good!” he declared, stepping to the side and waving at a couple newcomers who were just arriving behind us. “Step back, everyone! The mechanics are going to do something dangerous!”

The green female sighed again and rubbed her face, scales clicking along with the sound of water. “Thanks.”

Puzzled, I looked from the sled to the water and back. The slope wasn’t very steep. Were there predators in the water or something? Or was she worried about running out of momentum and getting stranded in the middle? That model of hoversled didn’t have an engine. Oh right, and Heatseekers were coldblooded. That could actually be a problem. But only if she didn’t go fast enough, right? These big halfpipe slopes ought to work just fine for that.

The younger Heatseeker looked terrified. “Please don’t make me,” she whispered.

“I don’t want to either, but it’s got to be done!” the older one snapped. She looked over the gathering crowd. “I don’t suppose there are any volunteers?”

It really didn’t look dangerous to me. Kind of fun, really.

When I turned to look at Zhee, I found him staring at me with his antennae angled into a judgemental expression. He rotated his pinchers and plucked the box from my hands. “This one volunteers,” he announced. “She’ll even enjoy it.”

Now everybody was looking at me, with more than a little hope in their eyes. “It really doesn’t seem that scary,” I admitted.

The young one snorted. “Okay!”

The older one addressed Zhee. “Is your friend right in the head?”

“Hey,” I said.

Zhee spread his mandibles in a creepy Mesmer grin. “As right as her species ever gets. Humans evolved swinging through trees, and they’ve never gotten over it.”

The elder cackled loudly at that, and the middle-aged one shook her head. “All right. Do you know how to steer this model?” That part was aimed at me.

I stepped over for a quick rundown of the controls. It was simple enough; this type even had built-in speed controls that required two hands to override. They couldn’t just give it a kick and hope for the best; someone really did need to ride it to make sure it coasted all the way across the water.

(Which did not have alien turbo-crocodiles or whatever lurking under the surface. They promised.)

There was no more reason to delay after that. The two mechanics held the sled stable while I climbed on and found a position that was mostly comfortable, with my legs wedged under the straps. I put both hands on the controls. Then they let go and gave it a push.

“Woooo!” I cheered, sledding down the hill. The hover mechanism was a good one, not even jolting at the transition between concrete and water. I skimmed across the surface with the smell of muddy alien river water in the air, then all too soon I was scooting up the opposite slope. I remembered to engage the brake before I slid back.

The mechanics on this side rushed down to meet me. “Thank you!”

“My pleasure!” I said, tugging my legs free of the straps. “That was a lot of fun.”

“Fun??” one asked in disbelief, pausing in the middle of removing one of the machine parts.

“Sure!” I said. “I haven’t ridden a slope that good since I went sledding as a kid. And this time I didn’t have to wait in line for a turn!”

The Heatseeker looked quietly horrified. He didn’t say anything, just going back to freeing the bit of machinery and hustling away with it.

“We appreciate the help,” said the one that seemed to be in charge, while others took the parts through a door that I hadn’t noticed until now. “How convenient that you enjoyed it. We should be able to get the water diverted very quickly, now that we have replacement parts.” He frowned at the door as if he could see through it to where various clanks and swear words could be heard over the river. “Honestly, that whole section was supposed to be replaced last year. Anyways! We’re very grateful.”

“Happy to help,” I said. “Say, will you need to take the sled back that way when you’re done with it? I could ride it back again.”

He picked up one of the last pieces and tucked a strap away. With a chuckle, he said, “I don’t think anyone’s going to stop you.”

“Excellent.”

The water level was already going down by the time I took off, but that didn’t make it any less fun.

“Wahoooo!”

I could see Zhee shaking his head from here.

~~~

These are the ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book.

Shared early on Patreon! There’s even a free tier to get them on the same day as the rest of the world.

The sequel novel is in progress (and will include characters from these stories. I hadn’t thought all of them up when I wrote the first book, but they’re too much fun to leave out of the second).

[bantersnatch]

dissecting the vip s2e11 bianca loredrop

welcome back, folks! this is a deceptive one, because on paper it's just two lines on a wikipedia page. here they are now:

the thing is, there's a lot of information compacted into those two lines. let's break 'em down together!

bianca and the host are alums of the same college. this is from the "notable alumni" section wikipedia page for the host's college (uc irvine as per s2e10), and this is definitively our bianca. these two went to school together. this is actually something i've been speculating about since the mid-season break (i talk about why in this post). this is a story, so there is no world in which this is a coincidence and they didn't know each other during their schooling -- this means the two of them go back at least a decade as of the in-world filming of season 2. "tethered" is starting to make more sense, huh? this is a long, long relationship, and it's likely that it started out as something very different than the current stepparent-stepdaughter dynamic. i'd hazard to say it's most likely that the host actually met their husband through bianca.

bianca graduated one year before the host did. i'm taking this to mean that bianca is in the class year before the host, and is roughly a year older than her stepparent. we know the host's birthday is in november, so assuming bianca didn't graduate early we're looking at an age gap of 3-15 months. absolutely beautiful stuff.

bianca's last name is jocasta. this is the big one, which is a wild thing to say after the massive reveal that these two have known each other for 10+ years. but, well -- that's just the point we're at. i've already been operating under the assumption that the 10+ years thing is true, so while it's fantastic to have confirmation i'm not overly shaken up about it. "jocasta", on the other hand? brand-new. unforeseen. unhinged. we can talk about whether this is her dad's previous surname or if she took her mom's after the divorce but i don't think any of that is too relevant to the story being told here. let's chat instead about the name itself, because holy hell is there baggage. in greek myth, jocasta was the mother-turned-incestuous bride of oedipus rex. a queen doomed by fate to marry her son, so on and so forth. absolutely classic, absolutely devastating. in freudian psychoanalysis, a 'jocasta complex' describes the erotic fixation of a mother on her child. oedipus complex but move it slightly to the left. in short: her last name is an incest reference any way you flip it.

bianca's wiki page has been viewed before. we've just "hacked into" the host's accounts, so i think it's safe to assume that the implication here is that the host has been hanging out on bianca's wikipedia page. i'm not going to offer any analysis here because you know exactly what i'm gonna say about That.

conclusion: yeah okay. i'm done playing coy about this. i've been trying to keep my biases regarding these two's backstory in the realm of fanfiction, where speculation on that level belongs, but this all essentially confirms that the show and i are on the same page. there is a romantic/sexual component to the relationship between bianca and the host, it is Weird, and it goes back at minimum ten years.

everyone strap in. i have a feeling we're in for a wild ride from now until the end of the season. we know they shot around an hour of bianca footage total (i think this was mentioned in a tamar interview with jordon brown?). they could pull just about anything.

[its-all-or-nothing94]

Formual 1 / MotoGP Fusion - Part 7

Summary: You are the first female MotoGP rider ever. You race for KTM Factory Racing, leaving Jack Miller your teammate, and one of your main sponsors is Red Bull. You grew up with most of the riders but your best friend is the multiple MotoGP Champion Marc Marquez. After your horrific crash the year before, you are ready to start the new season and probably a new love?

Pre-Story - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6

A/N: Sorry for the long break - here wo go agaiiiin!

Ship: Not telling yet (Marc Marquez, Carlos Sainz or Charles Leclerc)

Warnings: none

Taglist: @laneyspaulding19, @luciaexcorvus, @raizelchrysanderoctavius, @darlingssaturn

Y/NY/L/N22 ☑️ Nice, France

Liked by marcmarquez93, charles_leclerc and 1'536'428 others

Y/NY/L/N22 Got myself a new toy 😄 and yes, I'm talking about the bike.

View all 3'864 comments

marcmarquez93 😍😍 It's a beauty. Y/NY/L/N22 If you behave, I maybe let you ride it. 😉

charles_leclerc 😍

annie546 Did anyone notice, that she is in Nice? Only 30 minutes from Charles? 🤔

charles_lover Maybe they went on a tour together? I read that he owns a bike as well.

miasonda Did anyone notice, that she explicitly said that she meant the bike as a new toy? Like if we should mean something else? 😂😂

charles_leclerc ☑️

Liked scuderiaferrari, marcmarquez93 and 1'563'842 others

charles_leclerc A beautiful bike trip ☀️

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arthur_leclerc❤️

sania OMG there's the proof! He was on a bike tour with Y/N!😱😱

ferrarigirl HE WAS!

vaniasilo Did anyone else notice, that this is the first time, Charles posted his bike? 🤔

pierregasly Icon 💪🏼💪🏼 charles_leclerc Next time, you have to come, Mate!

🔥 Y/N Y/L/N's Cryptic Post Sparks Intrigue: Is Charles Leclerc Her Co-Pilot on a Romantic Ride? 😱🏍️

😄 A new toy, a new adventure? Fans speculate as Y/L/N's Instagram post hints at a possible connection with Leclerc amid the scenic landscapes of Nice! 🚀🌉

Just when fans thought they had unraveled the tangled web of relationships surrounding MotoGP star Y/N Y/L/N, a new twist emerged as she posted a cryptic picture on Instagram, accompanied by a caption that set hearts racing. Y/L/N's intriguing post featured a snapshot of herself with a brand-new bike, along with the words, "Got myself a new toy 😄 and yes, I'm talking about the bike." The photo was taken in the picturesque city of Nice, France, located a mere 30 minutes away from Monaco, the hometown of F1 driver Charles Leclerc. 😱🏍️🌉

As fans quickly connected the dots, the speculation intensified. Could Y/L/N's newfound "toy" be symbolic of an exciting new chapter in her personal life? The proximity of Nice to Leclerc's hometown fueled rumors of a potential connection between the two racing stars, leaving fans breathless with anticipation. 🚀❤️

Fueling the fire of speculation, Charles Leclerc himself shared a picture on Instagram, showcasing his own bike, yet neither Y/L/N nor Leclerc tagged each other in their respective posts. This omission only added to the intrigue, leaving fans to ponder whether the two were on the scenic journey together. 🔍🧐

As social media erupted with debates and wild theories, followers and enthusiasts alike questioned whether the stunning landscapes of Nice played host to an intimate escapade between Y/L/N and Leclerc. With emotions running high and imaginations running wild, fans now find themselves on the edge of their seats, eagerly awaiting any further hints or confirmation of a blossoming romance between the two racing stars. 💘🌟

Amidst the exhilarating twists and turns of the love saga, one thing remains certain: the racing world will be forever captivated by the electrifying entanglements and unexpected connections that continue to unfold, both on and off the track. Strap on your helmets, folks, for the ride is far from over, and the truth may soon be revealed in the wind of their love-fueled adventures! 🏁🔥

arthur_leclerc and lorenzotl started follow you

[skrutskie]

THE SALVATION GAMBIT is out today!

And boy, what a weird time it is to be releasing a book in which con artists face off against an artificial intelligence. When I started drafting this book, AI was nowhere near the front of most people’s minds. On this, the day it released, many authors (myself included) are discovering their books were scraped in the Books3 data set. WGA leaders are voting on a historic deal today that will protect screenwriters from the use of generative AI to devalue their labor. And just two weeks ago, a casino was hacked, not via a complicated algorithm that wormed into their systems, but by someone impersonating employees using information found on LinkedIn to gain access via the casino’s own help desk.

I thought I was writing a HAL-9000 sendup, a throwback to the diabolical AI villains we know and love, but THE SALVATION GAMBIT’s take on AI turned out to be far more relevant than I ever dared to dream. THE SALVATION GAMBIT is all about the seductive nature of outsourcing your thinking to a machine that has its biases baked in. About how the natural ally and natural enemy of artificial intelligence in equal measure is the con artist. And about how, if you can think your way around the version of reality that an AI has constructed, you might just be able to beat it.

Murdock and her crew of cons are loose in the world, and I’m so grateful for every single person who’s given them a chance to steal their hearts. Strap in folks. This one’s a wild ride.

Get your copy today!

[randomvarious]

1990s Breakbeat Playlist

Well, it's Mother's Day here in America, so be sure to show mom how much you love and appreciate her by giving her this 90s breakbeat playlist as a very special gift! 🥰 This week I've added a couple tunes from Ninja Cuts: Flexistentialism, a 1996 sampler that was put out by Ninja Tune, one of the greatest electronic labels to ever specialize in breakbeat, breaks, downtempo, trip hop, hip hop, and more.

And the first add happens to come from the legendary founding duo of Ninja Tune itself, Coldcut, who deliver pure, totally frenzied, retro-futurist, Cold War-styled havoc and panic in a song called "Atomic Moog 2000." This uptempo, psychedelically funky sweatfest first appeared on Flexistentialism in 1996 before appearing the following year on the Atomic Moog 2000 12-inch, and it's also *not* to be confused with an entirely different version of the song that was included on Coldcut's first Ninja Tune album, Let Us Play!, in 1997. Strap in for this one, folks, 'cuz it's a pretty fuckin' wild ride! Around 77K Spotify plays.

And immediately following that one is something a bit jazz-loungier called "Do You Believe in Love?" by Ashley Beedle presents the Uschi Classen Band. The last update I made for this playlist back in November of last year included a Beedle tune too—his phenomenal "Sun Barrio Break Mix" of Takada's "Ola-Le"—and now he's back with another one, with this one-off song he did with fellow Londoner Uschi Classen. True-blue hip hop junkies might notice the tone-setting sample at the beginning of this one too: Smokey Robinson's "Theme From Big Time," which was then used the following year by Company Flow for their underground cult classic, "8 Steps to Perfection." And I'm thinking El-P probably got the idea to use that sample from this very Beedle/Classen tune itself, because "Do You Believe in Love?" appears to be the first song that ever sampled Smokey's "Big Time" theme in the first place. Currently at around 73K plays.

Coldcut - "Atomic Moog 2000" Ashley Beedle Presents the Uschi Classen Band - "Do You Believe in Love?"

But in addition to those two gems, I've got a couple more on the YouTube version of this playlist too, both of which can't be found on Spotify. First among these is another one from the guys from Coldcut, specifically their alias/side project, DJ Food, which still exists, but doesn't contain either member anymore. In 1992, DJ Food released the third volume in their something-along-the-lines-of-a-DJ-tools-series, Jazz Brakes, and on there is a sweet and funky, hand-drum-and-flute-laced groove called "Ninja Walk," which would also then appear on the triple-vinyl version of Flexistentialism some years later too. This one's nearing 57K plays on YouTube.

And then for something that has nothing to do with Flexistentialism at all, we have a remix of alternative multi-instrumentalist Lisa Germano's "Lovesick" that was done by London's Underdog in 1997. The official version of this remix is of way more of a trip hop bent than it is breakbeat, but the version that I'm supplying you all with this week is the one that appeared on Parisian Kid Loco's fantastic DJ-Kicks mix in 1999. This one appears to be blended with the beat from the preceding song in that mix, whose official version I can't even find on YouTube, called "Culture Consumers," by a short-lived duo called Tongue. Like much of the rest of that mix, this song makes for some truly heady and totally stoned trippery, but it also comes with some pretty dissonant guitar noise too! Currently around 72K YouTube plays.

DJ Food - "Ninja Walk" Lisa Germano - "Lovesick (Underdog Rmx)"

And this playlist is on YouTube Music too.

So with this update, the Spotify version of this playlist is now at 16 songs that total 90 minutes, but over on YouTube, we've got 36 songs that clock in at 198 minutes! So if you want a lot more 90s breakbeat goodies that are a bit rarer and harder to find, you should definitely give that YouTube one a look!

More breakbeat next week 😎.

Enjoy!

More to come, eventually. Stay tuned!

Like what you hear? Follow me on Spotify and YouTube for more cool playlists and uploads!

[bobbinacrossafricatake2]

Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride

May 26, 2024

Up and at ’em at 6:00 AM for 6:45 breakfast. Maison Gallieni is lovely but a bit odd in its setup. We can’t quite figure out the operation. The staff is attentive, but with limited English, they’re not particularly adaptable (first wine on one page of the wine list last night was pink, so they assumed all on the page were pink, even though mostly from South Africa of various varieties; Jill tried to send back her yogurt this morning so as not to waste it, and they didn’t understand.). Ah well, they were nice enough!!

Maharo was waiting for us a bit before 7:30 AM and off we went to see the Queen’s Palace, also called Rova. It burned down some years ago and has been rebuilt in the same style. We had a local guide take us through the museum, and he was a wonderful source of history and culture details. One of the most interesting things was that Madagascar was occupied by the English, then French, and our guide, for one, regrets that the French stayed. They were less respectful of the people and culture. There was an area that had artifacts from each of the regions of Madagascar. One region featured vanilla. As much as we think of Madagascar as being the home of vanilla, turns out that they got vanilla from Mexico. And even more crazy, they don’t have fauna that pollinates the plants naturally, so they have to do it manually as each plant opens individually. “Bourbon Vanilla” reflects the group of islands of which Madagasgar is one, not the Kentucky spirit! The palace was also on the highest point of Tana (Antananarivo) so we caught some fab views of the city.

Maharo drove us around the city, including the business district, which was a bit more modern and bustling than the areas on the hills. Only about 28% of the city’s population has running water, so we saw several places where folks were collecting water from a common pump into big yellow containers, and hauling then to people’s homes. Then came Mr. Toad’s wild ride to Andasibe. For our ~4 hour drive out of town, we took the National Road #2. The highway is more like a decrepit road with more potholes (more aptly called pot-craters!) than a person can count. There were loads of trucks in both directions on this road that seemed barely wide enough for one. Cars and trucks were often spewing black fumes. Maharo sped along (strap in!) swerving madly around pot-craters, barely missing trucks as they came toward us. There’s a secret language of toots both to warn oncoming cars or people to get out of the way and to say thank you when they do. Both between villages and in villages, people were walking on the road, sitting along side the road, zebus pulling carts loaded with plants or other goods, bikes and tuk-tuk’s on the road, and there was additional swerving to be done to avoid everyone. It was a wild, wild ride. The scenery was great. We zig-zagged up and down mountains, along streams, all the while seeing the squares of rice paddies and plots for others crops. Zebus were here and there in the fields. People were using nets to catch small fish in the rice paddies and many women were washing clothes in the streams, then spreading them out on rocks to dry while little kids splashed in the water. The buildings along the way range from simple to simply ramshackle with corrugated metal roofs, makeshift fences around yards, laundry hanging out, chickens running about. People burn coal for fuel and for cooking. Tuned into green energy, this country is not. Overall, we’re not in Washington, DC, any more!

After a quick pit-stop for fresh bananas, we stopped at Madagasgar Exotic, a private reptile reserve. (They also have a butterfly collection, but we were there in the wrong season; that said, we saw some huge yellow moths, including two that were mating!). Neither of us is a fan of slithery creatures, but it was fun checking out their wonderful colorful frogs and a big variety of chameleons and geckos. A local guide took us around from cage to cage, often holding the creatures or letting us, to get a better view. Wow! They seriously blend in with their backgrounds - little brown ones that look like wood, some that have tails that look like leaves, and some bigger ones that are wonderfully colored with cool texture! There were a few snakes (boa constrictors) to round out the slithery afternoon.

We both wondered what our lodge would be like, as we saw very few places (!) in which we thought we’d be comfortable (how’s that for a diplomatic description?). Thankfully, once in the national park, we went up, up, up and arrived at our lovely accommodation. We had (as seems to be the norm) some communication challenges with the local French and Malagay speakers, who told us there was only electricity from noon-2:00 PM. Turns out that’s when there is not electricity, so we’re happy ;-)

We had less than two hours to chill out and then it was off for a night-time rainforest walk at VOIMMA reserve, established by locals to get some of the tourism action. Fun! Mary was our guide on our lemur hunt. We each got a flashlight and Maharo switched out his headlamp with Jillebob so she had hands free for hiking sticks. Worked out beautifully. There was a big group arriving as we were gearing up. We went into the rainforest at about the same time, and when we saw a tiny lemur (smallest of the 12 species in this part of Madagascar) within the first five minutes, they all piled into the same space - a little obnoxiously. Ah, the glories of a private tour. Off we went to find “our own” lemur! We saw some tiny crickets; Jill spotted a giant snail; a few of the golden spiders we’d seen in town and we heard a multitude of nature sounds: frogs, crickets and who knows what else!! There was a pygmy kingfisher asleep on a branch. Such a cute shape, and so ready for a portrait! After spotting only one more elusive lemur that we only got a glimpse of when he scampered away on a branch, we finally saw a larger one. He was gray with a white stripe. He was pretty far up, but climbed down a bit at one point and then again further. So fun to see him climb down and then see his head swivel like an owl with his beedy red eyes showing as they spun by. All in all, a successful night walk!

Back at the hotel, dinner was already ordered, and arrived quickly: two different preparations of zebu. It was tasty and interesting flavors with watercress soup to start, but at least Seb can’t say that she’s going to learn Andasibe cooking.

[eilantra]

🌟 Confessions of a Tumblr Newbie 🌈

Alright, Tumblr, buckle up because you're about to witness the chaotic ramblings of a total newbie trying to navigate this wild world of blogging. 🤯

Full disclosure: I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing here. Like, zero. Zilch. Nada. But hey, that's half the fun, right? So bear with me as I stumble through this journey of discovery, occasionally tripping over my own two feet along the way. 🤷‍♂️

Why am I here, you ask? Honestly, I'm not entirely sure myself. Maybe it's the allure of sharing my thoughts with the void, hoping that someone out there will relate and not just hit the "scroll past" button faster than you can say "Tumblr famous." Or maybe it's just a desperate attempt to procrastinate on all those adulting responsibilities. Who knows? 🤔

But here's the thing: amidst all the chaos and confusion, there's something strangely comforting about pouring my thoughts into this digital abyss. It's like therapy, but without the expensive copays and awkward silences. It helps me ground myself in the moment and remember the little things along the way, even if those little things are just me ranting about the weird dream I had last night or my latest obsession with avocado toast. 🥑

So here's to embracing the uncertainty, embracing the randomness, and embracing the sheer absurdity of it all. Let's see where this crazy Tumblr journey takes us, shall we? Strap in, folks. It's gonna be a bumpy ride. 🚀

[sciencestyled]

Holding a Quantum Cat by its Schrödinger's Tail: A Ride Through the Microcosmic Madness

Hey there, you intrepid souls of the internet! Strap yourselves in and hold onto your beanie hats because we’re about to serve up something that’ll make your neurons do backflips. Remember those times in science class when your teacher mentioned quantum mechanics and everyone’s eyes glazed over? Well, forget that snoozefest because we're about to reintroduce you to quantum mechanics in a way that's as far from boring as the Earth is from the edge of the observable universe (which is, FYI, pretty darn far).

We’ve all heard of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, right? Classic tale of one man with two wildly different personalities – the proper, buttoned-up Dr. Jekyll and his unhinged alter-ego, Mr. Hyde. Now, imagine these two hosting a TV show about quantum mechanics. Sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen? More like the most bizarrely enlightening crash course in the microcosmic universe you'll ever witness!

First up, Dr. Jekyll will swoon over atoms like they’re delicate flowers in an English garden – with protons playing the part of the noble knights, and electrons as these flittering, unpredictable creatures that you just can’t pin down (literally). He’s all about the poise and eloquence, painting a picture of the atomic world that’s more like a Renaissance painting than a high school textbook diagram.

But wait, there’s more! Just when you think you’re wading through a Victorian novel, in bursts Mr. Hyde – tearing down the fancy language and giving it to you straight. He sees atoms more like a rowdy bar on a Friday night, with electrons as the shady characters slipping through your fingers just when you think you've caught them.

And oh boy, when they get to wave-particle duality, it’s like a comedy show. Dr. Jekyll waxes poetic about particles being waves and waves being particles, in a manner most scholars and romantics would appreciate. But Mr. Hyde? He compares it to a drunkard staggering home, sometimes walking straight like a normal person (particle), and sometimes swerving like a snake (wave).

But wait, there's a plot twist! Just when you think it can't get wackier, they start talking about quantum entanglement. Picture this: Dr. Jekyll eloquently describes it as a mystical connection transcending space and time, like star-crossed lovers' hearts beating in unison across galaxies. Enter Mr. Hyde, scoffing at that notion, likening it instead to gossipy neighbors who can’t help but mirror each other’s dramatic reactions.

As we wind down this wild ride, we confront the infamous Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. Dr. Jekyll will likely get all philosophical about it, musing on the nature of reality and our place in the universe. Hyde? He’ll probably just grumble about how it’s as impossible as taking a clear photo of a running squirrel on your first try.

So, there you have it, folks. If your brain’s not buzzing like a bee after this, check if you’re still awake. It's quantum mechanics narrated by the most unexpected duo since peanut butter met jelly. And just between us – it’s a way more thrilling story than anything about apples falling on people’s heads. Tune in, geek out, and who knows – you might just end up loving quantum mechanics more than cat videos on the internet. Maybe.

[btcinfonews]

Bitcoin Options Market Faces Potential Volatility Amid Mixed Signals

🚀 Bitcoin Options Market Spicing Up: What Are You Waiting For? 🤑

So you thought the Bitcoin options market was chilling out, huh? Think again! 🤔 Amid a collective sigh of relief from traders, on-chain data is waving red flags, suggesting we might be in for a wild ride.

Here’s the tea, folks: Deribit is sitting pretty with a staggering $32.9 billion in open interest, but that doesn’t mean you can kick back and relax just yet. Concerns about concentrated supply make BTC's price more sensitive than a toddler's feelings when you tell them they can't have ice cream for breakfast. 🍦👶

“In such environments, even modest price fluctuations can affect a broad swath of investors...” - Glassnode Analytics

So, what's next? Traders are smelling bullish sentiments but on-chain analysis is like that friend who tells you that your ex is still lurking around. Be cautious! 😬 Market predictions might be optimistic, but they can shift faster than your weekend plans.

Ready to dive into the chaotic beauty of crypto? Check out the full breakdown of this rollercoaster in the original article and make sure you’re strapped in! 🎢

What do you think? Are you buying the dip or selling off your dreams? Let’s hear your hot takes!

💬 Drop your thoughts below, and don’t forget to share this post with fellow crypto enthusiasts! #Bitcoin #CryptoTrading #OptionsMarket #InvestSmart #Blockchain #Bullish #CryptoNews #Volatility #BitcoinOptionsMarket

[amberavaava]

Why Your Startup Needs HR Even Before You Hire Your First Employee

Launching a startup? Oh man, you’re basically spinning plates while riding a unicycle—there’s product stuff, chasing down cash, decoding the market, and somehow finding humans who’ll join your circus. So yeah, it’s super tempting to shove HR to the bottom of the to-do list, like, “We’ll figure out the people stuff once we’re not running on ramen and Red Bull.”

Here’s the thing though: skipping HR early on isn’t just risky, it’s basically inviting chaos to your launch party.

We’ve seen it all at SapientHR (yup, we work with Indian startups of all shapes and sizes). The biggest rookie move? Ignoring HR setup until stuff starts breaking—contracts get messy, compliance gets sketchy, and your so-called ‘culture’ turns into a game of ‘who’s doing what and why are they yelling?’

So, why bother with HR from the jump—even before you hire anyone? Strap in.

Actually Knowing Who Does What Before you bring folks onboard, you’ve gotta be crystal clear on what roles you’re hiring for, what each gig actually involves, and how it lines up with your big-picture goals. Sounds obvious, but you’d be shocked how many founders wing it.

If you don’t sort this out, you get a lot of “I thought you were doing that” and “Wait, is this my job or yours?” It’s messy. A barebones org chart and a few bullet points for each job make scaling way less painful.

That’s our jam at SapientHR—helping you build an org structure that doesn’t collapse the second you add another person.

Contracts & Policies That Won’t Come Back to Bite You Bringing on even one employee without a legit contract? Wild move. You’re basically opening the door to pay disputes, IP theft, or awkward “you never told me not to tweet company secrets” moments. Nobody wants that drama.

You need the basics: offer letters, agreements, NDAs, some ground rules (aka policies). We hook you up with stuff that’s actually legal and won’t get you in trouble down the road.

Compliance: Not Just for Big Corporates Founders love to think labor laws are just for the big dogs. Nope. In India, once you cut your first paycheck, you’re on the hook for a bunch of rules—Shops & Establishments Act, Minimum Wages, whatever. Mess up, and you could get slapped with fines or worse.

We make sure you’re not accidentally breaking the law (it happens more than you’d think).

Culture Starts With You, Like It or Not Culture isn’t some fluffy thing you build later. It starts with how you talk, how you handle screw-ups, even how you answer emails. If you don’t set the tone, “culture” will just happen, and not in a good way.

We help founders figure out what vibe they actually want so you don’t end up with a company full of people quietly hating each other.

Don’t Botch Your First Hires Hiring’s not just about finding bodies to fill chairs. Early mistakes—like vague job posts or weirdly slow interview processes—can scare off good people and leave you with, well, headaches. A little structure goes a long way: decent JDs, interviews that aren’t an interrogation, some background checks. You’ll look way more legit.

We’ll set you up so you don’t look like amateurs when candidates Google you.

Payroll & Benefits: Not Just Spreadsheets & Hope Trying to DIY payroll on Excel? Trust me, it always ends in disaster—late payments, wrong tax deductions, angry WhatsApp messages at 2 AM. Even if it’s just you and two other folks, get your payroll act together.

We’ve got tools for that. Payslips, compliance, the whole shebang—without breaking the bank.

Get Investor-Ready Sooner, Not Later Dreaming of raising money? Investors are nosy—they’ll want to see your HR docs, contracts, how you keep people from running off with your IP, all of it. Scrambling to get this together at the last minute? Stress city.

Start early, and you’ll breeze through due diligence instead of scrambling to invent policies on the fly.

Bottom line: HR isn’t just another box to tick. It’s the thing that lets you build fast without everything falling apart. It protects you, attracts better people, and lets you focus on, you know, building your actual business.

If you’re even thinking about hiring, hit up SapientHR. We’ll make sure your HR doesn’t suck—no matter how fast you’re growing.

Ready to stop winging it? Let’s chat.

[theccpress]

Ripple's $5 Billion Offer for Circle: Rejected! 🚫💸

Well, folks, it seems Ripple's aspirations to add Circle to its crypto family took a nosedive faster than a meme coin during a bear market. 🌊😅 The fintech titan offered a whopping $4-5 billion for the issuer of USDC, only to be told, "Thanks, but no thanks." 🤷‍♂️

Ripple's $5 Billion Offer for Circle Declined

Why, you ask? Circle, with its beautiful $62 billion market cap, is oh-so-confident in its valuation and IPO plans. Talk about self-worth! 💁‍♀️💰 As Ripple navigates this snub, we can't help but wonder: what’s on their acquisition wishlist now? 🤔💭

“Although Ripple's initial offer was rejected, the company remains interested in acquiring Circle.” - Bloomberg’s report 📰

Meanwhile, Ripple's got its eyes wide open on new acquisitions, continuing its aggressive approach in a bizarrely dynamic crypto market. The rejection might stoke some confidence in investor circles (pun intended). Is this a sign that Circle’s IPO is more promising than we thought? 🚀📈

After the dip into speculation, let’s not forget how this impacts cryptocurrency valuations across the board. Is Ripple's chase for Fortune leading them into a game of cat and mouse with regulations? 🐱🐭 It’s a wild ride, and we’re all strapped in with popcorn in hand! 🍿

Curious to see how these ripples in the market evolve? Check out the full scoop here. Don’t forget to share your predictions about Ripple’s next moves. Will they double down or switch lanes entirely? Let's hear your thoughts! 💬👇

#Ripple #Circle #CryptoNews #USDC #MarketTrends #Blockchain #Investment #IPO #Cryptocurrency

[kanalcoin]

🚀💰 Crypto Alert: 🇺🇸 Trump Media is diving headfirst into the blockchain! 💰🚀 Grab your popcorn, folks, because Trump Media and Technology Group (TMTG) just announced a shiny new utility token and a digital wallet for their Truth+ streaming service! 🌟 Can you say game-changer? According to CEO Devin Nunes, this token will kickstart a rewards program that might have you saying goodbye to those boring subscription fees. Imagine paying for your binge-watching sessions with a little sprinkle of crypto magic! 🪄 So what’s the master plan? Here’s a juicy excerpt from the shareholder meeting:

“We're exploring the introduction of a utility token within a Truth digital wallet that can initially be used to pay for Truth+ subscription costs.”

Oh, sweet summer child, the possibilities are endless! 😏 But wait—there's more! TMTG is putting up a staggering $250 million to bolster their crypto adventures. 💸 That’s right, they’re not just dipping their toes in the water; they’re doing a cannonball. 🤿 With partners like Charles Schwab backing them, you can bet the landscape of digital currency could get a bit spicy. 🌶️ In this crowded crypto carnival, TMTG’s fusion of social media with cryptocurrency feels like the thrilling ride we didn’t know we needed. 🎢 If this concoction of fintech and media hits the mark, we may very well be witnessing the rise of a new titan in the space. So, strap in and keep your eyes peeled! 👀 Curious to learn more? Check out the full scoop on their wild plans here and join the crypto revolution! 🌐💎 #CryptoNews #TrumpMedia #UtilityToken #DigitalWallet #CryptoCommunity #InvestSmart #Blockchain #Fintech #TruthPlus #Kanalcoin

[doomanddead]

Fiends & Fuzz: A Peek into Druid Stone's Undead Poets Society

Here at Doom and Dead we shine a light on the doom, drone, and psych acts you’ve never heard of. Every month we choose a new release that deserves more attention than it’s gotten. This month’s pick is from the Virginia band Druid Stone. 

Take stoner doom and acid rock. Now mash them together and throw them against the wall in your parents’ basement. Unspool a VHS tape of your favorite black and white horror movie and toss that on for good measure. Light the whole thing on fire. Poke through that ashes with a broken guitar pickup and that’s where you’ll find Druid Stone, the passion project of Demeter Capsalis. Druid Stone’s new LP, Undead Poets Society, embodies a love of homemade music in its purest form, complete with shitty mics and devil-may-care swagger. The songs on Undead Poets Society approach prickly topics like suicide and self-destructive behavior with a wink and a nod. Nothing is off limits. Every track oozes with the rock-and-roll attitude of a misfit unapologetically living out loud. So slip this one under your tongue and join me for a meeting of the Undead Poets Society. 

Bride of Satan comes barreling out of the gate ready to get high and kick ass. It’s a wild psychedelic jam with a 3-foot thick layer of scuzz on top — a fitting ode to a monstrous relationship. 

Little Wing (Neil Young cover) is a trippy take on a mellow folk classic. It’s a song that finds beauty in every season, now made cheekier and darker. The album notes say “inspiration by LSD and satan,” and that’s exactly what what Druid Stone brings to this cover.

The Wood of Self-Murderers Waltz is a morose little ditty that feels like it’s informed by the previous track. There may be a folksy twist to the melody, but this creation is 100% Druid Stone right down to its gushing mutant heart. The song’s lyrics are from the perspective of someone who already committed suicide, a doleful tale cautioning any who continue down this path. Things take a sharp turn and our surroundings become more ominous. The band’s signature doomed psychedelia takes over. There’s cacophony over the airwaves. Audio clips from Dawn of the Dead carve out space between ecstatic riffs.

With growling lows and a wailing guitar, The 13th Floor is one of the heaviest hitters on the LP. This track is as self-destructive and disillusioned as they come — a manic rock golem sutured up with searing psychedelic licks and incubated in a vat of fuzz. Capsalis’ brassy attitude shines through the chaos, reminding us “baby, we can jump if we get bored.” Halfway through, things grind down to a lumbrous doom metal crawl.  The track tunnels down lower and slower until the riff hits bedrock and the spell gradually unravels. 

Killing a Vampire (for A.C.F.) is melodic and melancholy with a blush of anger that would make Alanis proud. Not fooled by a vampire with a “suave facade,” Capsalis vows to kill him over and over from one life to the next. It’s the perfect anthem for your next breakup or that boss that whose bullshit you see right through. 

The centerpiece of the LP is Undead Poets Society. The bass line grabs control from the very beginning, kicking in your door and strapping a rocket under your ass. Druid Stone rides the riff across the sky all the way to the fucking moon. It’s an LSD-fueled tumble through the cosmos with a catchy hook you’ll be humming all day. There might not be any escape for the undead, but with riffs like these, just leave my ass here in hell.

The album closes on (Lately I feel like) I’m Begging, Shelob. It’s a melancholy tune portending an ominous fate and pleading for the sweet relief of sedation. The acid trip rolls on with doomy licks and visions of destruction. Wild effects wander the landscape as apocalyptic riffs rain down. The last vestiges of the song linger and I find myself clinging on, not ready for things to end. 

Undead Poets Society is a revolving door of homespun movie monsters, each laid bare and framed in fuzz. Every wart and hump (heh heh) is on display in all its unabashed glory. Druid Stone’s black sense of humor is a magical elixir that permeates the senses and gives everything new life. Many of the songs on this LP feel like tongue-in-cheek warnings from creatures who could not save themselves. I recommend this to ill-fated ghouls, unabashed kooks, and all those who go bump in the night. 

[voreporn]

From Entrance to Entrapment: Diving Deep into the Depths of Vaginal Vore!

Ever wondered about that wild realm where fantasies get freaky and desire takes a sharp left turn into the surreal? Well, buckle up, you horny explorers, 'cause we're about to take a dive into the tantalizing world of vaginal vore! Yes, you heard it right, folks. We're delving into the juicy, slippery, and downright mind-bending phenomenon where the traditional notion of pleasure gets a whole new meaning.

What in the Freakin' World is Vaginal Vore Anyway?

Alright, let's break it down for the uninitiated. Vaginal vore, my dear deviants, is like a portal to a parallel universe of pleasure. Picture this: You've got a lady, a fine specimen of human beauty, with a twist. Instead of your regular ol' entrance to paradise down there, her vagina is a voracious, hungry beast, ready to swallow up anything in its path. It's like the wildest dream and the kinkiest nightmare all rolled into one.

How the Hell Does That Work?

Now, you might be scratching your head and thinking, "What the actual fuck?" Well, fear not, my curious comrades, for there's a method to this madness. In the realm of vaginal vore, it's all about the art of the devour. Think of it as a sensual symphony where every thrust, every plunge, is orchestrated to feed the insatiable hunger lurking within. It's about surrendering to the primal urge, letting go of inhibitions, and embracing the sheer ecstasy of being consumed.

But Isn't That Just, Like, Really Weird?

Oh, absolutely! And that's precisely what makes it so goddamn enticing. Vaginal vore is a playground for the adventurous, the daring, and the downright kinky. It's where taboos are shattered, boundaries are pushed, and desires run rampant. So, if you're tired of vanilla, if missionary makes you yawn, then strap in, my friends, 'cause we're about to take a ride on the wild side.

So, Where Can I Get a Piece of That Action?

Ah, now we come to the million-dollar question. Where does one go to witness such debauchery, such decadence? Well, look no further than Vored.com! That's right, folks. If you're craving some prime-time vaginal vore action, then this is the place to be. With a smorgasbord of videos featuring everything from tentacle vore to unbirth vore, this site is your one-stop shop for all things kinky and carnivorous.

[elementalevolutions]

Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster: Taming the Wild Ride of Unwanted Feelings

There will always be that one thing that seems to be impossible; Today we live in a world where anything is possible.

Welcome aboard the emotional rollercoaster, where the highs are exhilarating, and the lows can leave you feeling like you’ve been sucker-punched by life itself. But hey, buckle up because today we’re diving headfirst into the wild world of unwanted emotions. Strap in, folks, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride! Understanding the Emotional Jungle Gym Ever feel like your emotions are swinging from the…