#still hurts me that the band have not come back to my country ever since :''v

[saulweissberg]

availability / @theodoranowak setting / the local country club golf course; wednesday, july 17th, around six pm.

“ah, there you go! nice swing.” saul complimented after theo cracked the golf ball across the greensward. the sun was still high enough in the sky to give off a sweltering heat, but as two high powered attorneys, neither would be caught dead playing hooky and golfing on a weekday morning. well, at least saul wouldn’t, mostly because his schedule was so busy lately that he barely had time to shave before work, let alone sneak away for a quick early morning golf session. with theo and isabel working as senior associates under him, and with help from micah, his firm had more clients than ever before. he’d hazard to say he was downright successful, but saul knew better than to count his chickens before they hatched. at any rate, he was successful for suburban illinois, but he’d probably never reach the esteem of his former firm, wlrk. that was something he was coming to terms with. the market was smaller, but divorces happened anywhere and everywhere. that was the best part of their specialty: they were pretty much guaranteed job security, and saul was running the show now. having theo as part of his legal team just propelled them into further success.

they still needed to enjoy themselves, though. golf wasn’t his favorite sport—especially since his third ex-wife’s older brother was a professional golfer and hated saul—but he was better at it than tennis, and it was practically required for any blue blooded man to know how to do both. besides, it was the first time he really got to spend some time with his pseudo-cousin since she arrived in blue harbor. after theodora finished her turn, saul set up the tee and positioned himself alongside the ball, holding out his arms stiffly as he lined up the club. with a swift motion, he swung the club and connected it with the golf ball, sending it flying into the air and curving to the right. his hand flew to his forehead, shielding the golden afternoon light from his eyes as he watched the ball land far ahead. turning to theo, he grinned and pumped both fists in the air. “yay!” he gave a light laugh and moved over to their golf cart to find where their respective golf balls had landed.

after a beat of silence, saul raised a brow as he regarded theodora. “so, how are you finding blue harbor?” it was sort of funny how she was the third brunette he knew back in new york that had found her way to the small midwestern town, but this time, she had asked to come work for him. though he had a stable staff with isabel, micah, and his secretary, he would’ve been insane to decline her. not only did she have nepotism on her side—the weissbergs and nowaks had been family friends for generations—but theo had a remarkable record and he wouldn’t turn down the help when his firm was steadily growing. more lawyers, more clients, it was simple math! that, and he had known theodora since she was a baby. he supposed he owed it to her, out of some familial-like obligation, and he could understand cracking under the weight of her family name. she needed an out, and while saul had his misgivings about blue harbor, it was the perfect place for someone to start over, just like he had three years ago. “i’m starting to think the entire island of manhattan is moving here. my first ex-wife, then my second, and then you? micah, too.” he didn’t count thalia, since blue harbor was her hometown. “either that, or you’ve all banded together to destroy me. i wouldn’t count that out for terry, but you and cassie? i’m hurt, teddy. just hurt!” he joked, mirth evident in his smirk and the sparkle in his eyes.

[valsnonsense]

The Rynth Family

What happens when a lizard and a fish fall in love-

Sorry that was terrible lksdjfsldkfj

But here we have the Rynth family! One of my more crackier ships with absolutely no reasoning behind it, but eh, that’s what terminal shipping does to ya.

Synth and Riff met after one of Riff’s concerts. Barb, Riff, and the rest of their band came to Trollstopia to perform on day, and Synth was invited by Branch to come to the performance. Synth was absolutely blown away by the music, but most of all by the drummer. Just something about how incredibly fast he moved, even slamming his own face into the drums was just amazing! So after the concert, when Branch offers to take Synth to meet Barb and the band, Synth jumps on the opportunity.

Imagine Synth’s surprise when the drummer turns out to be Barb’s younger brother, and a Prince no less! Despite this, Synth walked right up to him and shook his hand, going on a long winded spiel about how amazing he found his drumming and how excited he was to meet him, so on and so forth. Riff was taken aback by the excitable techno troll, never having someone come up to compliment him specifically after a show. He shyly thanked him, keeping how he found the Techno Ambassador to be fucking adorable to himself, but did nervously asked to exchange contact info.

The two became fast friends after that night. Synth would call or text him and talk for hours, while Riff would just sit back and listen. After a few months of close friendship, Riff worked up the courage to ask Synth out on a date. Synth was over the moon about it, having started to crush on the Rock Prince himself, and the officially started dating. They hadn’t dated for an entire year before Synth couldn’t take it anymore and popped the question to Riff. Riff immediately said yes, and two were married.

After they wed, Riff moved to Trollstopia, since Synth had duties to fulfill full time as a Councilman. There were some bittersweet tears between Barb and Riff (and maybe Barb pulling Synth to the side and threatening him that if he ever hurt her brother she’d find him and end his entire existence), and Riff officially moved to Trollstopia.

Riff began working as a musical mentor for young trolls, teaching them about rock music and how to play it. It was a few years after they married that Synth found out he was carrying an egg, and the two became parents. And very quickly had two more in rapid succession lol

Riff and Synth love being dads, and raised their kids to appreciate all kinds of music. When Hatchet fell in love with country music, and began working on his own spin on it, the two were over the moon about it. When Hatchet decided to move to Lonesome Flats to pursue his career, the two were sad to see him go, but fully supportive of his dreams. When all three of their kids ended up taking on musical careers, becoming extremely successful super quickly, it was too much for the two. Just look at our babies! They’re so grown up and amazing, omg I can’t take this I’m gonna cry-

They currently still live in Trollstopia with their two youngest, Viper and Lantern, but they can often be found in Lonesome Flats visiting Hatchet or in Techno Reef attending Viper’s raves. They two own copies of all their kids records and show them off proudly to anyone who will listen for two seconds.

And that’s the Rynth fam! Very cheesy love story, but they strike me as a cheesy couple xP And this piece was actually the first one I made exclusively digitally! Super proud of it~

[bluewavesofchange]

The guardians of the Pharaoh.

I don't own Yugioh or it's characters.

Chapter 2

Almost a year has now passed since Seto and Mokuba had arrived at the orphanage and my world had changed. We became like a family and promised that we would always be together no matter what. I was no longer bullied and Markiato and his band of idiots left me alone. Things were going great and I was happy...sadly the day I had always dreaded came...the day Seto and Mokuba were taken away from me...the day they were adopted.

When news got out that the CEO of a big corporation was coming to visit the orphanage, Seto started coming up with a plan. It was odd seeing him this way...serious and almost never smiling. In the first few months that he and Mokuba were here, he seemed mostly happy, trying to keep a smile on his face for Mokuba's sake. However he started to change...it seemed that he was growing up too fast, but who could blame him. He had a little brother to take care of. Seto had once told me that the reason for him turning down so many families that wanted to adopt him was that he wouldn't leave without his brother and that he wanted to make sure that whoever adopted them was well off and would never suffer financially. So when word got out that Gozaburo Kaiba was coming to the orphanage, Seto started to finalise his plan. Since Gozaburo was not only well known for his title in the business industry, he was also well known for his skills in the game of chess, (not that anyone could match the skills of my...I mean...nevermind).

So the plan was that when Mr. Kaiba arrived, Seto would challenge him to a game of chess, in exchange if Seto won, then Gozaburo would have no choice but to adopt him and Mokuba, both of them becoming the children of one of the most powerful business tycoons in the country. Seto seemed so perfectly certain that his plan would work...however there was one thing he left out of the equation...he left out...me...

It was the day before Mr. Kaiba would be arrive and I would have to say goodbye to the only friends I ever had. I was sitting by myself on the swing set, a growing pain spreading in my heart. I held in my emotions as best I can, I didn't want to upset the two boys, especially when there was a chance that they could have a better life. But it still hurt...my only family was possibly going to leave and I would be where I was in the beginning...alone...but that wasn't the only reason why I was upset today. You see today was my birthday, I was turning 10 and you know what they say about orphans who are 10 or older...there's no chance of them being adopted. And not to mention, my birthday was a reminder that I was unwanted and would always be alone...Seto was a year younger than me and Mokuba was about 5 years old...

I was staring down at the ground when Seto came over and sat on the swing next to mine. It was obvious he had seen that I was looking rather down today. Not making any eye contact with him, I just wanted to be left alone...

"Well, Mokuba seems rather excited about tomorrow. I mean...both of us would have a chance to have a good life and we would never have to suffer again..."

I could feel him smiling as he spoke. His words cut me very deep with the mention of them leaving. I bit my lip, holding back the tears...

"That's great. I-I'm happy for you two..." I mumble trying not to show any signs of sadness. However, Seto knew me too well. He could easily pick up when I was upset and when I was happy. He could read me like a book. He turned towards me, the smile fading from his face,

"Hey, are you ok? You seem a little down."

I could hear the hint of concern in his voice as he spoke. I didn't answer; I didn't want to talk to him right now...like I said...I wanted to be alone. I could sense him processing what could be wrong, spending so much time with him and Mokuba had given us the ability to pick up when any of us were deep in thought and what they were feeling, we knew each other too well to have any secrets between us...and it was at that moment when I knew he figured it out, or I thought he did. His expression changed to that of someone who had forgotten something important...

..."Oh that's right, it's your birthday."

He smiled softly as he took my hand in his, "Is that why you're upset? You thought I forgot something as important as your birthday?"

He got up out of the swing and kneeled down in front of me, still holding my hand, trying to look at my face. I still tried hard to stay emotionless, but it was getting difficult with each passing second that he was near me. At the moment I hated him, I hated him for the way how he could make me open up, I hated him for the fact that he gave me happiness, I hated him for the way he made me feel and most of all, I hated him for wanting to leave me behind and steal away my happiness. I finally broke as a tear run down my cheek; this didn't go unnoticed by him.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked concerned. I jerked my hand away and got up, "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yelled as I ran to my room, slamming the door behind me. I sat in the cold, dusty corner in the room and I hugged my knees to my chest and buried my face in my arms and cried. I cried and cried, not caring who heard me. I poured out my heart through my tears, I was broken and it was his fault. He gave me hope that I could be happy, that I would never have to be alone again; he gave me the feeling of what a family was. It was his entire fault; it was his fault for making me hurt so much. He broke my heart, he broke me. I hated him! I hated Seto and I would never forgive him for abandoning me just like my parents did...

I didn't hear the door opening as the sounds of my shattered cries deafened the sounds around me. I only saw the shadow of someone entering the room and it wasn't hard to tell who it was.

"G-go a-away S-Seto. I-I wanna b-be alone..." I stuttered in between my sobs.

I didn't notice the box he was carrying with him. Without saying anything he sat beside me, setting the box down and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me in a warm hug. As much as I hated him right now, he always knew just how to make me feel better. He rubbed my back in little circles, trying to soothe my pain. I didn't stop crying, I couldn't stop myself from letting out the past 10 years of pain I went through. I let out all the anger, all the hurt, and all the sadness, everything I held back for all those years. I wanted it all to just go away...I wanted to be alone...because that is where I would be by night fall tomorrow...and every other night there after...

..."You're upset because Mokuba and I are leaving tomorrow...am I right?"...

I looked up at him to see his eyes closed as he faced downwards. I didn't expect him to say anything. His eyes slowly opened and he turned his gaze towards me and I was met with those same sweet blue eyes I had seen the day he arrived at this place. Those beautiful blue eyes that held so much, but what I saw in those orbs now was sorrow...

"I know you think we are...well I'm abandoning you, but I'm keeping you safe. I know you think that me and Mokuba are leaving you behind but the thing is, I don't know what this guy is like and I can't take the risk of this guy being a creep and risk you getting hurt or worse..." he looked away sighing softly, "I care about you too much to risk your safety. Before we met, it was just me and Mokuba and it was easy to just have to take care of him. But to watch out for two people who are very close to my heart and-"

..."Seto stop..." I interrupted him. He looked back at me confused while I looked away,

"I get it. Your little brother comes first. And I don't want to be the one to hold you back from a good life." I turned back to him and smiled and wrapped my arms around him, "I was being selfish. And I'm sorry for getting upset with you." I pulled back and gazed up at him, the tears running down my cheeks were those of joy, "I should have never doubted you Seto. I was just scared of losing my two best friends..." he reached out to wipe away my tears as I spoke.

It still hurt, but I guessed it would still be inevitable. They would eventually have to leave and I would be left behind...but it would be alright. I would be ok…somehow. Seto had taught me something about myself that I never knew...that I was strong and I knew how to survive on my own...and that made me smile at him, and he returned a smile.

He reached over for the box that he had brought, "When I went looking for Mokuba's toy aeroplane after the caretakers took it from him, I found this on one of the shelves in the closet where they keep the confiscated things..." he said as he handed the box to me.

I examined the box and noticed that my name was written on it. I was rather confused as I had never seen this box before. I slowly opened the box and took a look inside...

...My eyes widened, the things inside...a purse...silver female watch...a purple scarf and a necklace that held a beautiful blue jewel.

I picked up the purse and opened it; pulling out the only thing that was inside it, an old photo of a man and a woman, the necklace in the box hanging around the woman’s neck in the picture...could these have been my parents? It could be possible that the things in the box belonged to my mother...the things could have been left behind when my father ran off. Seto reached into the box, pulling out the necklace, "I believe this was your mothers...I thought that it wasn't fair that the caretakers kept this away from you for all these years. So..." he reached out and hung the necklace around my neck, "...I got this back for you. I guess it can be some sort of a birthday gift." He said chuckling. I dropped the box and wrapped my arms around him again, hugging him tightly as I cried again, "Thank you. Thank you so much Seto."

He just smiled as he hugged back, "You're welcome Lillian. And remember, whatever happens tomorrow...we'll always be together...in here," he said placing his hand on my heart, and I placed my hand over his as I smiled, knowing everything was gonna be ok...

The next day I stood by the gates of the orphanage and watched as the two people I had come to love and see as my family drive away in a long fancy limo. The breeze picked up as a tear ran down my cheek. I stood there for hours after they left and well into the night after the sun had gone down, hoping that one day we would see each other again.

It's been a week since Seto and Mokuba were adopted and left the orphanage. And I was alone again. And that was ok. A letter had arrived yesterday with a number on it and a note saying that if I ever wanted to contact Seto and Mokuba, I could call that number. Unfortunately we weren't allowed to use the telephones. So it was of no use to try...

But something unexpected happened that day as I sat on the lonely bench once again...

The gates at the front of the orphanage opened and in walked a family...a mom, a dad and a little boy who seemed to be about 8 years old. The parents went into the main building to get the papers ready for the child they were going to adopted, while the little boy headed to the playground where all the kids were. And after taking one look at this kid...I mean I've seen a lot of odd looking people in my short life, but this one takes the cake. He had black hair with the tips tinted a red colour, the bangs that framed his sweet little face was bright blonde and not to mention the fact that his hair had been spiked up in different directions, almost forming a star shape. And also...I could have sworn he was wearing black eye liner, and I mean, who allows their kid to do that? And get this, his clothes, he wore a tight, black, long sleeve shirt with a dark grey sleeveless jacket over it, and he was wearing black jeans and black and white trainers. But what shocked me the most were his eyes...they were a vibrant purple colour, something I had never seen before. But they matched his innocent child like face perfectly and he was well...really short and small.

He wondered around the playground smiling at each of the other kids but in return they glared at him like he was some kind of a freak. Who would blame them considering how this boy looked. His smile faded as he seemed to become scared at the stares he was getting and honestly, I felt a little sorry for him. And also guilty for being so judgemental about him just because of how he looked. He soon caught sight of me and wondered over, sitting next to me as his smile returned.

"You seem a little lonely, mind if I give you a little company?" he asked sweetly. I turned to face him, about to tell him that I wanted to be left alone, when I found myself staring at the cutest face I had ever seen. It glowed of joy and innocence. How could I be mean to anyone that looked at me with those puppy like eyes? Before I could answer, Markiato and his gang arrived, ignoring me and grabbing the spiky haired kid by his shirt collar and lifting him into the air.

"Well, well, well...what do we have here? A little weirdo who wants to play with the loner." he laughed as the others snickered. The scared boy squirmed, trying to get out the older boys grip, "Pl-please sir, I-I don't want any trouble." The little boy said obviously scared. "Well guess what, I am trouble you freak!" Markiato bellowed as he raised his fist and punched the small boy in the face and throwing him onto the ground, proceeding to kick him in the stomach. The boy cringed and cried out in pain, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he curled up into fettle position. I caught a glimpse at his face and saw the tears forming in his eyes and so did Markiato, "Look fellas, we have a little cry baby on our hands." and they all started laughing. My blood started to boil as I stood up, clenching my fists. How could he be so cruel to someone so small and seemly innocent? I marched over to Markiato, "Leave him alone you jackass!" I shouted at him, he slowly turned to me, glaring at me. "Did you just call me a jackass loser?" he said through his teeth. "Yes I did. Why don't you leave us alone? Why do you always have to pick on the kids smaller than you, you fat freak?" I spoke out loudly, causing all the kids on the playground to go slightly and look at us. The little boy lying on the ground as managed to sit up slightly and look at me. I could see Markiato getting mad as he shoved me, "Better watch your mouth. Remember, you don't have your little boyfriend to protect you anymore. So once again...you are all al-OOOOO!!" he cried out as I kicked him hard between the legs, right where it hurts. Cupping his crotch he fell to his knees, wincing and wheezing in pain as he looked up at me, "Y-you're g-gonna pay for that you little-" I grabbed his head and slammed my knee into his face, a soft cracking noise could be heard as his nose broke. He pulled back, cupping his face as the blood run from his nose over his lips, “You little bitch!" He exclaimed, I saw his eyes begin to water, giving him a final kick in the chest, causing him to fall to the ground. All the kids on the playground jumped up and cheered for me as if I was a hero.

I leaned over him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt lifting him up, "Consider this a warning Markiato, if you ever mess with me or any other kid again...well let’s just say I won't hold back." And with that said, I slammed him back onto the ground. Standing up, I glared at the other boys surrounding the weird looking kid, their expressions were terrified as they stared at me, causing me to grin, "So…Who’s next?" after saying that, they all ran off like wimps. The rest of the kids who had been watching started cheering at the defeat of the playgrounds biggest enemy.

Smiling to myself, I walked over to the little boy and helped him up, dusting off his clothes, "Are you ok?" I asked, gently running my soft hand over the bruise forming on his cheek from being hit by Markiato. He just nodded as he looked up at me, not fearfully but...thankfully. I took his hand in mine and started walking to the main building with him, "Come, I'll take you to your parents."

Once we were inside the office, the little boy ran to his mother, leaving me standing in the door way. His parents seemed rather well...normal. his mom had soft brown hair with a round face and hazel eyes while his father had raven hair, a soft face with a bit of stubble covering his chin and a firm build. That left me to wonder where the kid got his hairstyle from.

The woman knelt down, looking worried as she saw the bruise on her sons face, "Who...who did this to you?" she said before she looked in my direction, "Did she hurt you?" she frowned at me. I actually felt a little insulted, "You stay away from my boy you menace." Ok that hurt. I was about to leave when the boy spoke, "No mamma, she saved me from the boy who hit me." the boy said as he ran over to me and hugged my waist (he was really short.) "She's my hero." he gazed up at me again with those puppy like eyes. The woman stood up as she and her husband looked at him, I suddenly felt really shy. The man walked towards us and knelt down in front of me, "What's your name sweetheart?" he spoke softly as his wife stood behind him. "Um...Lillian. My names Lillian sir." I answered looking at him. The man looked back at his wife and they both smiled at each other as if they both knew what the other was thinking.

The wife headed back to the counter to get the papers as the man looked back at me, "Well Lillian...it seems our son has taken a liking in you," he reached out, raffling the boys hair, making him giggle, "And I want to thank you for saving him. We've been having a lot of problems with him getting bullied at school and him having no friends..." the man spoke, looking down at the boy, he sounded a lot like me, "So maybe...you could come home with us and be his sister...and keep him safe from the bullies at school?" My eyes widened at his words...they wanted to adopt me? "Please will you come home and be my big sister?" the little boy asked with a big smile on his face. I smiled as I looked at the man and then to the boy, "I...I'd be honoured to." I answered, the man nodded and headed over to his wife to sign the papers. "Hey um...I don't know your name yet..." I said as I hugged my soon to be brother, "Oh my name is Yugi, Yugi Muto." he said with a smile...

The day had finally come...my miracle had come...I had finally found a family...I had found my hope...

[sprinklrsplashes]

oceans and engines part ii | b.b

Summary: it's been 10 years since Dove and Bradley have seen each other and they find themselves running into each other in a bar somewhere in Hawaii. They both have everything that they had ever dreamed of but they still have unfinished business.

Pairing: Bradley Bradshaw x ofc (unnamed and referred to as Dove)

Genre/content warning: angst (I can't help myself, I love pain 🥲) but there is a happy ending, swearing

A/N: this has been sitting (unfinished) in my drafts for a while but I finally finished it over the past couple of days so here is part 2 to oceans and engines, which if you have not read part 1, you can find that right here). I hope you enjoy this and I may be back to do some more writing over the next couple of weeks/months depending on how much free time I have.

Bradley doesn't believe in fate or destiny. Every choice, every decision he has made has been calculated and thought through, consequences and all. None of it was down to fate but it sure feels like it seeing his Dove in a bar somewhere in Hawaii. He rubs his eyes and has to look twice because he can't quite believe his eyes, but there she was on that stage. Her hair was different, her skin was sunkissed from what he assumed was the Californian sun and her cheekbones more defined, but he couldn't mistake her singing voice or the glow she had when she performed. She was electric and she has always been. There's a part of him that makes him want to walk out because as much as it was good to see her, it also hurt a hell of a lot as well. 10 years had passed but it still sometimes felt as raw as it did when she left, and though he had forgiven her, he couldn't forget the unbearable pain he felt that morning he woke up to find her gone with nothing but a note. But he couldn't tear his eyes away from her and the way she moved up there with her band made him think that she made the right decision; he had everything he had ever dreamed of and so did she. He just didn't have her. 

"This last song was one of the first ever songs I wrote and recorded and maybe one of my most personal. I was 22, heartbroken and moving across the country alone. It was maybe the most terrifying but exhilarating thing I have ever done but I had to make some sacrifices. Sometimes the hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go. There's that saying: if you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't, well, then it wasn't meant to be. And I think I believe that. Maybe that's the hopeless romantic in me but I probably wouldn't be a musician if I wasn't, right? Anyways, thank you so much. You have been a pleasure. This last one's called Oceans and Engines." 

It's all a bit too much for him, seeing her here, hearing her sing about him. Over the years he had imagined what it'd be like to see his little Dove again and the things that he would say to her. In the beginning, all he wanted to do was yell at her and tell her that deciding to break up wasn't a decision for her to make (he would never do such a thing because he knew the moment he sees her lip quiver, he’d crumble completely and forget about the things that he was so mad about). But now, he just wants to tell her how proud he is of her. And despite everything, he still loves her. Honestly, he doesn't think he has ever stopped. Sure he had dated other women since, but none of them were her. 

He hears the door open and a group of drunk girls leaving the bar before it swings shut again, leaving him in peace. The sound of footsteps follows shortly before stopping. 

"I thought I saw you in the crowd there. I couldn't be sure though, sometimes I think I see you everywhere even when you're not really there," she laughs nervously and though he's not looking at her, he knows she's doing that thing where she plays with the ends of her hair when she's nervous. "Are you actually real or have I had far too many tequila shots and gone temporarily insane?" 

His breath hitches in his throat when her hand reaches out to squeeze his arm; images of nights spent with her delicate fingers gripping onto him as he made love to her all night long flashed in his head. He can’t think of her like that, not now when he wanted to be mad at her. It was unfair of Bradley to still hold this thing over her head but he needed to know how much it hurt him. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and took her hand off him. 

Her heart sinks and she can’t mask the flash of pain and betrayal in her eyes quick enough from Bradley but she knows she deserved that. She was the only one to blame for this fraught relationship between them. In another life, they could have been married by now. She thought about this often, what her life could have been if she didn’t pack up her bags to fulfil her hopes and dreams. Would she have been happier? That was the question that haunted her when she was staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night. Maybe she could have been, or they could have ended up like most college relationships — staying together when the relationship was way past the expiration date but neither one knows how to end it so eventually someone cheats, or they stick it out and get engaged because that’s what they think should happen and they end up in a lifeless marriage. That’s the answer that helps her move on from thinking about her could-have-been life with Bradley but deep down, she knew it would have probably been far from it. 

"You were good out there," Bradley breaks the awkward silence unable to bear the uncomfortable tension between them. "I'm glad you got everything you ever wanted." 

There's a slight bitterness in him that makes him want to ask Dove if it was worth it but he knew what the answer would be. It would be the same if she asked him the same question. Yes, a hundred times, yes. 

"Thanks. You look like you're doing well too," she notes as she studies him like she’s trying to remember every single aspect of him, even though she probably could draw Bradley from memory if she had to. Though he isn't in uniform, she noticed the dog tags peeking out of his horrendous Hawaiian shirt that he picked and she couldn't miss those arms straining against the flimsy fabric of his shirt. God, she couldn't stop thinking about the things they could do now. Taking her against the wall with his dog tags against his bare chest, his fingers digging into her hips hard enough to leave bruises the next day showing that she is his and only his. Such sinful things they could be doing but he hates her guts now so those fantasies will never come to fruition. 

"Yeah, I am." 

Her lips purse together as he sticks to answers that leave no form for further conversation and she can feel her eyes getting glassy. It's stupid and she knows she deserves this but after 10 years, she figured there wasn't any hard feelings between them and they had both moved on (though she never truly did). "I know I fucked up but that was 10 years ago. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am so can you actually try to have some sort of conversation with me?" 

He can hear the slight tremble in her voice, the pleading in her voice that resembled the same as his whenever he heard himself begging her to stay in his dreams. It nearly makes him feel bad for the humourless laugh that escapes his lips. "You can't just expect me to act like you didn't just pack your bags in the middle of the night and just leave without saying a word. You shattered my heart, Dove. I loved you so much that it scared me more than anything; sometimes I think I would have given it all up just to be with you and that scares me but despite it all, I still wanted to be with you. There was a time I couldn't imagine a life without you by my side and sometimes I still can't even though it's been 10 years."

Silence falls between them as she begins to process his words, only to find that she can only cling to the last few. She doesn't even think Bradley's registered what has just come out of his mouth. "You still think about me?" she asks him looking up through her eyelashes, unable to look at him as she asks the question she needed to know the answer to. Her chest feels tight as she's holding her breath for his response.

Bradley cursed under his breath; she wasn't supposed to know that but now he's said it, he figures there’s no going back. "Yeah, I do," he admits as he runs his hand through his messy curls. 

Maybe it's the tequila running through her veins or the rush of knowing that Bradley still thought of her even now, but there's a streak of boldness that washes over her. It's something she had never been able to admit out loud (because doing so meant she had thrown away one of the best things in her life for nothing). "Same here. I don't think I've ever stopped. I think about you every time a plane flies across the sky, I think about you every time I see a piano, I think about you every time I hear Great Balls of Fire. It’s stupid but sometimes when I’m on tour, I’ll look up where the closest naval bases are and pray that we’ll cross paths. Sometimes I think leaving you was my biggest regret. I'm sorry for leaving the way I did. I'm sorry for everything." 

He can't help but crumble when her voice breaks at the end and reaches across to wipe the tears that have fallen down her cheeks. Suddenly it's like no time has passed and they're 20 years old again. Then she looks at him with those big doe eyes and he's falling in love with her all over again. There's that familiar flutter in his stomach, something he didn't think he'd feel again after she left and it's then that he decides that he can't let her get away, not for a second time.

Before he can even stop himself his lips are on hers, hot and desperate, fingers holding tight onto her waist like she's going to disappear any second. Not this time. He won't let her slip through his fingers again. She whimpers his name softly against his lips and he thinks that this must be what heaven feels like but she brings them crashing back to Earth. 

"Wait, wait, wait," her mouth is saying one thing but her hands are saying another as her fingers are tangled in his hair and she's sighing in his mouth. He pulls away from her lips and begins making his way to her neck. It had been years since they had been together but it was scary how easy it was to fall back into old routines. He still could note every spot that makes her weak in the knees, point out every scar, mole and freckle on her body. Hell, he probably knew her body better than his own. "Bradley, we can't." 

"Why not? What's stopping us?" 

"This, us, our careers. We have everything we've ever wanted. You and I both know that it's not going to work." She's stumbling over her words after that kiss. Being so close to Bradley makes it hard for her to think clearly. It's as if she can hear herself saying all these words but inside she's screaming at herself, begging not to push him away. 

He curses at her, his jaw tensed and his eyes harden. "Don't do this. Stop running away from me. I love you. Always have and always will. And I know you love me too, goddammit. You can deny it all you want but I know you, Dove. What are you so scared of?" His voice drops, eyes soften as he brushes her hair behind her ear and strokes her cheek. 

Her eyes dart across his face, never quite making eye contact. He'll see right through her if she looks into those eyes and she wants this to be easy. He knows her too well though and knows what she’s doing, "Look at me, please." 

She's unsure whether she's shaking because the beer jacket has now worn off and she's beginning to feel the evening breeze or because of her nerves. Bradley Bradshaw tended to have that effect on her. 

He whispers her name and repeats, "What are you so scared of? We can work through this together. Me and you as a team, like we were before." 

There's an urge to pull away now and run as far as she can, but she owes him this much. She figures she can't keep running away from Bradley. One thing that she loves and hates is his annoying persistence and she knew that one way or another he would have tracked her down and gotten her to crack. He was good like that. He knew her far too well. 

"That's what I'm scared of. I don't want you to put me in front of your dreams. I don't want to be the thing holding you back. I don't want to be the thing you'll resent in 20, 30 years when we're married with kids living in some lifeless suburb." 

His eyes shine even in the dim lighting of the parking lot, "You think about having kids with me?" 

In any other circumstance, she probably would have rolled her eyes and laughed. "Is that the only thing you took from what I said? Of course, I thought about that. At one point, I thought you were it for me and I couldn't imagine a life with anyone else. Sometimes I still can't." 

"Stop making decisions for me. Have you ever considered that maybe I want that kind of life that you just described? I want to have a family with you and grow old in some suburban home with a nice little picket fence and grass that is some unnatural shade of green. Yes, I love flying but I love you so much more and I'd rather die than spend another day not waking next to you." 

"Even so, I'm in LA and you're wherever you are now. We live different lives, it won't work." 

"San Diego. I've been stationed in San Diego for a few months now. Dove, honey, stop trying to make excuses for us. We can do it this time, I know we can but if you really don't want this, just look me in the eyes and say no." 

She can't do it. She chews on her lip as she gets lost in his warm eyes and sees a flash of fear but it doesn't last long. He's just as scared as she is, maybe even more. After all, it was her who left him heartbroken all these years so he had more to lose. For Bradley to put his pride aside and pour his heart out to her when she stomped on his 10 years ago was possibly one of the bravest things he had ever done and the man flies fighter jets for a living. 

After what felt like an eternity, she finally replies, "Okay." 

"Okay?" 

"Yeah, okay. I can move to San Diego with you, to be honest, maybe it's for the best because my rent in LA is painful. I'm a musician so really, I can make music anywhere and I can always travel to LA for business meetings or whatever, so okay." 

He laughs under his breath as she talks herself through the logistics of moving her life from LA to San Diego. It was these little things that he had missed and loved about Dove. "Who said anything about moving in with me?" 

Her cheeks flushed red as she stuttered but then she saw the corner of his mouth quirk up in that annoying way that told her he was just teasing. "You're such an asshole." 

"Ah, you've missed me really." 

"Every single day." 

"Same here." 

"Take me home, Lieutenant Bradshaw?" 

"Gladly." 

[briamichellewrites]

5

Bria was a musical prodigy. She could play any song after just hearing it once and she could sing any genre of music. Country, soul, hip-hop, rock, pop… Brad and Mike were impressed! They had to practice over and over until they were perfect. It was a gift they were envious of. She discovered her gift while taking lessons at school. Her teachers likened her to Freddie Mercury, who was also a musical prodigy. She saw the notes in her head. Her brain knew how to make the music come out.

Using Brad’s guitar, they tested her by coming up with random songs. Daughter by Pearl Jam? Yes. Something by the Beatles? Yes. Walk This Way by Aerosmith? Yes. Enter Sandman by Metallica? Yes. Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio? Yes. Another One Bites The Dust by Queen? Yes. That one was super easy because it was the same chords over and over.

“I’m just a musical prostitute, darling”, she joked.

They laughed. Freddie Mercury? Freddie fucking Mercury. She was playing Santeria by Sublime when Joe, Rob, and Dave came in. They all stood in the doorway while she played. When she was done, they clapped for her. What were they doing? Brad told them how he and Mike discovered that Bria was a musical prodigy. They were testing her.

Dave missed Jon. He understood that he had a wife and kids who were waiting for him. It wouldn’t be fair for him to stay in LA. There would be other men, but none of them would be like Jon. He wanted to thank Bria for introducing them, but not in front of the band. Because they were having trouble with their label, he was thinking about stepping aside for a while. A group of friends were forming a Christian ska and punk band. They asked him to join them.

He talked to Jon and he encouraged him to do it. It sounded like his band would always be there waiting for him. Bria handed Brad his guitar. She would have to buy herself one. You don’t have one? Nope. Yeah, she should. He gave her recommendations. She finally got her inheritance and all of her parents’ stuff, so she could use the money to buy one.

The band was saddened by Dave’s walking away, but they understood. They would hire a replacement until he got back. He thanked them. It would just be for a year or two. They still needed a lead singer, so they jokingly asked Bria if she could do a blend of hip-hop and metal. She would try but she couldn’t guarantee she would be any good. They laughed. Dave asked if he could come over. She joked about him needing kitten therapy. Yeah, he did.

Back at her place, she and Dave went into her living room where Woody was taking one of many naps. He needed his energy to run around in the middle of the night. The house had been recently cleaned by her housekeeper. He sighed because he knew what they had to talk about and he was worried about how it was going to go.

“I’ve spent the whole day going over what I’m going to say. Now, I lost it. I’m stuck in the middle between you and Jon. It was never supposed to happen.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No, I don’t. After we left your place, we went to a hotel and slept together. It was the best experience I’ve ever had with another man. I just feel confused because I love you. I know I just met you and I’m jumping the gun. I have to let him go. What is your relationship with him?”

“My parents bought a house next to his and his wife’s. So, he’s known me since I was five years old. We slept together the night before you guys did.”

“Damn it. I need a drink. No. No, I don’t.”

She pulled him in and wrapped her arms around him. Why was he upset? Because he had fallen for both of them but could only have one. He didn’t want her to think she was a second choice because she wasn’t. She was his first choice. He was scared because he had never been in a relationship sober.

Every time he had been with someone, he was always drinking. He didn’t want to hurt her or drag her down with him. As much as he wanted to push her away, he wanted her to stay with him. If he lost her, he would beat himself up over it. He felt like a little boy being comforted by his mother. For the first time, he felt safe being vulnerable and opening himself up. She wasn’t going to hurt him.

“You’re not going to lose me. I’ve never been in a relationship but I really like you.”

“Will you take a chance on me?”

“Yes.”

He sat up before kissing her. She got onto his lap. He put his hands on her hips before putting his head on her shoulder. I love you. She loved him, too. They decided to go upstairs to her bedroom. On her bed, he sat down in the middle. She straddled him and gently grabbed his hair as he kissed her. He wanted to explore her body and make love to every curve.

The next morning, he informed the boys that they were officially dating. They congratulated him! Rob joked about her taming the wild Farrell. She agreed she had. They laughed. He didn’t want to tell them about the events leading up to him asking her to be his girlfriend.

Or him sleeping with Jon. They didn’t need to know that. He knew that he would understand that he couldn’t be with him anymore. Jon would want him to stay faithful to Bria. During a break, he stepped outside for privacy to call him using her phone. He answered thinking it was her. Hey, it’s me. He laughed and apologized for his mistake.

“It’s fine. I just wanted to let you know that she and I are dating.”

“Congratulations! Take care of her for me.”

“I will. I had to tell you, so you didn’t think I was making you think there was a chance with us.”

“I like you, Dave. Thank you for thinking of me. Does she know?” “Yeah, she does. She’s cool with it. What about your wife?”

“She knows. Thank you for helping me come out. Next time I’m in LA, we can meet up to hang out. Or whatever you are calling it these days.”

He laughed. “Yeah, it’s hanging out. You’re welcome. If you ever need anything, please call me.”

He would. They then said goodbye. He then went back inside and handed her the phone. Even though he was in love, he wanted to wait to introduce her to his family. Jon had to laugh. He was getting too old. Dave will always be a special person in his life. It was because of him, he found the courage to come out.

“Jon, we already knew that.”

He wondered how often he gave himself away. How many times did they think he was gay? He wasn’t attracted to any of his band members. They were like his brothers. My name is John Francis Bongiovi Junior and I am a bisexual man. Would he come out publicly? He wasn’t sure yet. Maybe after he told his family. That would be something he talked about with his family and band. He reminded himself of what Bria and Dave said. It’s nobody’s business.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia

[thefollyofsilly]

Warning! A rant about how my week has been going. Mentions of suicide, drug abuse, and ect. MDNI

Nothing hurts more than literally everyone in your life being distant with you because nothing you do is good enough.

I grew up in an abusive and neglected household. I got out of there by attempting suicide and running away after I was released from the psych ward. My biological parents had treated me like a foreigner since I was nine years old. At seventeen, when my attempt was, I was able to go and live with my youth pastor and his wife. I have loved with them for two and am still in school. I have a part time job, in my school's band, and a senior in high school. I was formerly an addict and got diagnosed with bipolar after my second psych ward visit. I have since given up my old life and people in my life that I used to do those kinds of things with. I got sober for my adoptive parents and brought up my grades. I still have problems like lying and I understand that it's a big problem with my adoptive parents but I can't help it. I've been trying to quit and I've cut down on it. But two years doesn't erase trauma that's accumulated over seventeen years.

Yesterday, my adopted dad walked into my room. He asked me if I took his alcohol in the freezer. I told him no and that I would never do that, especially to them. I even swore on my best friend that died. He accused me, to my face, later apologizing to me over text because he found it in the freezer under frozen vegetables. It literally tore me to pieces. I cried until my eyes were swollen. I love them so much and instantly they accused me.

I understand that I'm a liar and a former addict. I understand their distrust. I understand that I'm a teenager and I used to drink heavily.

Never once did I take my anger out on them or accuse them of anything. I got sober for them. I didn't love myself enough back then to do it for me. I literally did it all for them. When I went to talk to them about how I felt, he brushed it off and lectured me. I'm planning on talking to my adopted mom about this but I'm scared she's just gonna brush it off too. I bettered my grades in school for them. I bettered myself for them. I got sober for them. I changed myself for the better for them and they act like I'm still the person they found me as.

I feel like leaving. I feel like throwing all my shit in my car and booking a flight to the farthest country from here. I'm always going to be a bastard in the eyes of everyone around me. I've literally debated throwing myself off a bridge but I don't want everything I've worked for go to waste like my car. I bought it myself and it's the only thing I ever earned myself.

TLDR : I'm having a come apart because no one really cares to know what's going on so I'm trauma dumping.

[zatyrlucy]

Darling I'm so happy of your come-out. You're great and wholesome. What else can I say besides "welcome in the queer gang kiddo"? I'm just so happy and proud of you. When someone is coming out it always makes my day and especialy when it's person I very like. I know it can be a drag being not straight in religious country (I'm ace so it's more like "Oh you wanna be special" so I don't fully know how bad it is). Also I'm so happy you have soulmate what accept you. European fan

D'AWWWWWWWWW thank you my dear

Yeah in my country couples of the same sex are bullied a lot, to the point that they can even get in trouble with the police just for kissing in public. Its hard to believe that a lesbian won for mayor in the capital, but at least thats a sign that colombia perhaps is not drowning entirely in homophobia.

I remember being very gay and tomboyish when I was little. Having little crushes on girls and even dressing like a boy from time to time haha telling my parents that 'today I feel like a boy'. I remember that clearly because my mother and aunts used to look at me with such terrifying faces every time I said that xD Anyway, then I became a teen, sent to catholic school, and everything went to hell for a while.

I still dress like a man from time to time, Its not my fault that men's clothes are better than women's (imo) xD and their pants have pockets! (I even use my boyfriend's clothes sometimes and he doesnt care, he is a sweetheart >w<). Im proud to be a woman, but I like other women and I hate to be feminine. Thats something that not even catholic school could take away from me. Fuck gender stereotypes.

Now that I think about it, I guess thats the only thing I dont agree with Vaggie. I would hate to use the same clothes of gothic lolita she wears. I. HATE. dresses. and. pink. so. damn. much!

Anyway, I hope you dont get bullied for being ace, I know aces can get a lot of sh*t for just existing. Btw, I havent heard from you in a while. Are you doing ok? how are things doing in poland? I hope all the political problems are less worrisome in these times.

<3

[rommahh]

Love On Tour…Actually

{Im sorry for how late this was. I went to the show Friday and honestly, it was the best day of my life. I had a little PCD which made me super unmotivated but I’m back. I love you all, R}

You woke up a little grumpy, you won’t lie. You didn’t like waking up alone especially on a show day. It made you uncomfortable to be left to your own devices without any structure or schedule. You understood that Harry was a busy man but it would’ve been nice to receive some text so you could plan your day accordingly.

Sitting on the couch in the lounge of your hotel room, you chowed down on leftover pasta while watching Netflix on your iPad. You had yet to receive a text from Harry even though you had texted him hours ago when you woke up. It was hard to tell if he was ignoring you out of anger or if he was simply just lost in track. Either way you felt dejected.

On the other hand, Harry hadn’t even noticed that he iced you. He was busy running around Nashville trying to get things ready for tonight’s show. He bought you a new dress and shoes, and got the ring fitted. It was hard to figure out your ring size but he end up measuring your finger when you were passed out asleep in bed last night. When you slept, you slept and he knew that would be the perfect time to measure your finger.

Harry was so busy that morning, that by the end of his errands he realized he didn’t even have time to go back to the hotel before rehearsals. He was sporting a small cough and his vocal chords felt overworked but that’s all apart of tour.

Pulling his phone out of his back pocket as he walked into the arena, he dialed your number quickly. He had people trying to talk to him but he paid them no mind.

“Oh? Would you look who’s here?” Harry’s head shot up to the sound of your voice. There you sat on his dressing room couch, arms crossed over one another as you glared at him. Your gaze burned through him and he could just tell he was in trouble.

“Hello lovie.” Harry rasped.

“Harry you sound like shit but here you are up and about running around. You should’ve slept in this morning.” Scolding as you stand up to walk in front of him. Harry could feel the anger radiate off of you but you hid it well. He melted into your hands that cupped his warm cheeks.

“I had a lot of errands to run and I didn’t want to wake you. Also it’s just a sore throat from singing and traveling- comes with being on tour.” He mumbles dropping his head into your neck. You caress the hairs on the back on his neck and massage the tense muscles.

“You’ve got to think about yourself more, Harry. You have a show to put on but you can’t put on your best show if you’re not at your best. I am not happy with you at all.” Even though your words were scolding him, you held him your arms in the most soothing way. That’s what Harry loved about you, you cared for him like no one else could (aside from his mom). You could tell him off with your harshest words but he’d always feel your love from miles away.

“You’re right love, sorry for not keeping in touch today.” You hum in acknowledgement. You both pulled away from each other when his driver walked in with Harry’s abundance of bags. “Thank you, sir.”

“What all did you buy?” You ask walking towards the bags. Harry’s arm shot out in front of you making you stop. You looked up at him in shock. “Fine be secretive.”

You huffed before making your way back to the couch. Harry rolled his eyes at you, making way to his shopping bags. Plucking the bag from Nordstrom he plopped it down on the table in front of you.

“I just didn’t want you snooping at some other stuff. I bought you this, for tonight.” He sat down beside you, thighs touching leaving no room between you two.

“Im not trying to be mean. Just a little peeved that you left this morning without telling me. You also have a cold and I wanna take care of you since you won’t do it.” A hand rubs his forehead luring his eyes shut.

“Sorry baby, I thank you for caring so much.” He whispers sleepily.

“Im always gonna care for my bubs.” Kissing him on the lips, your turn your attention to the bag. The small grey bag had light tissue paper covering the product within the bag. The tissue falls to the floor as you dig into the bag. A silky champagne dress, folded neatly to decrease wrinkles, sits in the bag. The dress was soft and you knew it was loose enough to give you the room to dance. Soft snores escaped the boy beside you- the exhaustion evident on his face.

You pull the dress out of the bag and walk over to where his outfit of the night hung. The dress was hung beside his to be steamed for later. Turning around, you smile at the sight of your curled up boyfriend. Your heart hurt knowing that in a few minutes he would have to go rehearse.

Harry sleepily went through rehearsals sitting in a chair the whole time. He knew his stage cues and performance, he only had one more thing to rehearse but it required for you to not be in the room. He gave one look to Jeff to signal him to get you out. Jeff made up some excuse saying that he needed help with some social media post for the show.

Before the show, there was a catered dinner from some local restaurant. Harry ate a light meal of fresh vegetables and a sweet iced tea which has grown on him having lived in the states for some years. You ate grilled chicken and fries enjoying the free food. The two of you ate alone in his dressing room- wanting a moment of piece before the crazy.

“How are you feeling?” You ask Harry. He shrugs, he was more nervous than anything but you wouldn’t understand why if he had told that to you. He felt floaty. Tonight would be a game changer, a step in a whole new direction. This is something he’s wanted to do for years now but it’s finally happening, and he’s scared.

"Im ok, a little tired but what else is new. I can't wait to sleep all night and cuddle with you." He grabs your hand from across the table. you squeeze it, frowning at his revelation.

"I don't like that you're so tired." You worry, his hand squeezes yours in reassurance.

“Im ok, it’s all apart if the job.” He looks down to your bare ring finger, thumb brushing over the empty spot. Your nails were done in your favorite way, some funky pattern you found from Pinterest all painted on short coffin nails.

“I love you Harry and I’m so proud of you. I know that these years put us both in a bad place mentally but I’m happy of where we are now.” Harry could almost tear up to your words. They settled into his mind, resonating. He was making the perfect decision and you solidified that ideal.

2014

Harry didn’t know how they did it. A show every night, a new state everyday, a new country every few months- he was burnt out. He was tired of shared tour buses and the lack of autonomy. Last nights LA show was amazing, the crowd was amazing, the energy was amazing- so why did he feel so horrid?

He walked around in The Grove, security guards walking in front and behind him. He wanted a peaceful day alone but here they were. Fans watched suspiciously trying to decipher if it was Harry or not. His hat and sunglasses were obviously not the disguise he thought they would be.

As the whispers got louder, his heart started to flurry more. Panic seeped into his veins as he looked for an escape. Bolting in the Barnes and Nobles- security guards close behind- Harry asked for the employees to close shop just for a moment. Harry only needed a moment to get a car near by to escape to. Feeling overwhelmed, Harry hid.

In between the historical fiction and romance aisle is where he sat. Head between his knees, trying to catch his breathe.

“Are you ok?” A voice asked from above him. His head whipped up in shock. Standing there was you, three books clutched between your arms. Adjusting your dress you dropped down to the floor in front of him.

“I-im fine, tired but fine.” He replied. He looked different than he did the night before, you thought. Last night, he was energetic and full of life and now, now you saw a boy whose exhaustion overpowered him.

“You here for any books?” You were just trying to change the subject, something you did with yourself when you had panic attacks.

“Oh no, I don’t-“ he stuttered shaking his head. You smiled at him before pulling a book from your stack. The fault In Our Stars, your new favorite.

“I love this book, one of my favorites. Heard a movie is coming out too so that’s fun.” You joke. Harry’s relaxed slightly, you nestled closer to him. Opening the book, you began reading, your gentle voice calming Harry.

At the start of chapter four, an interruption pulled you both away. Harry’s security guard told Harry that a car was waiting and the perimeter of the store was clear. Harry nodded telling the guard to give him five more minutes.

“I guess this is it.” You mumble closing your book. Harry nods but makes no move to leave. Something clicks in him as he looks at your face again.

“You were at the concert last night, meet and greet?” He muses.

“Yeah, One Direction is my favorite band. My friend bought our vip tickets for my birthday. Best night ever.” You say quietly, scared that he might think that you’re some obsessed fan.

“Oh, well I’m glad you enjoyed the show….so why didn’t you freak out today or- or expose where I was?”

“You’re a human being, just like me. You get nervous, frustrated, and sad just like me. You get panic attacks just like. Who am I to treat you differently?” Your words did so much for Harry. “Now don’t get me wrong, you’re my favorite in the band, but I don’t idolize you nor do I wish to be in your position cause I know it must be hard.”

“It is. Hard, I mean, really really hard. I love my job but I’m tired.” The silence you two shared burned a connection between you two. “This may be weird but could I have your number? I like talking to you and I wanna hear more of this book.”

Placing your hand made bookmark in the book, you closed in and gently placed it on Harry’s lap. “Have it. I have one at home and if you still want to talk about it- I’ll give you my number.”

Harry stills as the book sits in his lap. “I want to talk to you about the book.”

After exchanging numbers, Harry was urged by you to go. Walking side by side to the door, you were separated by his security.

“Harry, don’t let this keep hurting you. Find the joy and grasp on to it.”

You turned out to be his joy. Calls every night after shows and different books being read together, you both gravitated towards each other. Everyday was a new day to grow closer together. He invited you to more concerts, paying for every ticket because he just needed to be with you.

The show was going beautifully. Harry looked amazing in stage in all white and most fans were captivated by your outfit too. It worried you to see Harry so exhausted on stage but you knew he would stick it through like he always does. Proud was an understatement in your eyes. Harry made you more than proud.

You stood in the back of the watermelon pit at the end of the aisle where his stage stopped a few feet away. Jeff stood beside you like he normally did but he was acting suspicious. You two never stood on the side of Harry’s exit but this is where Jeff said you’d get the best view tonight.

Harry sang his final ‘we’ll be alright’ before doing his stage stroll and bows, but instead of finishing in the middle of the stage- he went down stage to the place he normally exits to at the end of the night. You watched in confusion, along with the crowd, as he walked down the steps to you. The crowd erupted in screams as the lights focused on where you were standing.

“What are you doing?” You asked with large eyes of shock. You felt your heart stop in your chest. The crowd getting louder by the moment. Harry walked closer to you, one hand digging into his pocket while his eyes focused on your face. You couldn’t place what was happening but you’re eyes welled with even more tears nonetheless. Jeff was to the side with a huge smile and his phone out to capture the moment.

“Y/N, my love, my light, the best thing that has happened to me,” he didn’t have his mic on so the crowd couldn’t hear him but you could hear him perfectly. As if you two were the only ones in the large arena, you could only see Harry. “From the moment I met you in the bookstore, I knew you were meant to be in my life. Somehow you took me from my darkest place and guided me to my lightest.

I know our lives have been hard but we’ve always found a way to be alright. I want that for the rest of my life. I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life, so will you please, my love, marry me?”

You gave him no time to answer as you yanked him up by his arm. You wept as you exclaimed loud yeses, yeses that could be heard by a few fans who screamed in excitement igniting the rest of the crowd to scream. Harry picked you up in his arms, throwing one arm out to wave at the crowd before bounding backstage.

“Oh my god Harry!” You exclaimed as he set you down. He only had a few minutes to talk so you kept it quick. You pulled his face down to your kissing his lips. This kiss pulled you both deeper into each other.

He pulled away making you whine. “I gotta go back but I promise you’ll get it all tonight. I can’t believe you said yes. I love you so much.”

Harry’s energy multiplied by 100 going back on stage. He even went as far as to explain what watermelon sugar was about. Remembering when the song was made, it made your legs clench together- a pulse overwhelming your lower regions.

Looking down at your hand, you could feel yourself tear up again at the ring he bought you. It fit perfectly in your hand, you remember him measuring your hand that night even though he thought you were asleep. The thought of your future made your heart swell. A future with new music, a wedding, a nice house, and babies made your heart swell. This was something you couldn’t wait for.

Harry found his joy in you but he never knew about the joy he was to your dark life.

[chocolateheart]

Door number 12

Title: Door Number 12

Word count: 7937 (I know, I'm sorry)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Summary: A noisy neighbour is bringing you a lot of emotions. What if this bubbling tension and frustration will finally find their way out?

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex (please, wrap it before you tap it), creampie, fingering, handjob, pinning to the wall, clothes tearing, biting, scratching, a lot of kissing, strong eye contact, sex noises, tension, some swearing, noisy neighbour, arguing, stealing food, property damage, I don't know, porn?

Bingo Square Filled: Neighbour AU for @spnmixedbingo

A/N: Yes, another porn. Please, don't judge me, I couldn't help it. I won't say much, that fic just sorta happened. I hope you'll like it! Enjoy babes!

A/N: As always huge huge huge THANK YOU to my dear beta, angel and Queen @winchest09 for giving this piece a look. Love you Tabbs <3 Still, mistakes are mine!

A/N: The gorgeous divider designed by incredibly talented @talesmaniac89 <3

Throwing your bag on the counter along with your keys, a deep sigh left your chest. You numbly looked around your apartment as you began to take off your jewellery. Why did this place always look like a pigsty every time you got back home? Your necklace and bracelet joined your bag when you tossed them to one side as a yawn escaped you.

This day was exhausting, to say the least. Maybe your work wasn’t that demanding but sometimes it was just tiring to the point where you wanted to cry. After shrugging your jean jacket off, your feet took you to the couch and you just collapsed down on it with a pained grunt. Your body was stiff and aching, your head was pounding from pain and as soon as you felt a pillow under it, your will to stay awake had started to fade. You knew you shouldn’t take a nap now as there was still so much left to do today, but for god's sake, it was Friday evening and you had been working for the past 5 days at top speed. An hour of rest was something you definitely deserved.

Without standing up, you lifted your hips to take off your jeans and wrapped yourself in the blanket you always kept on the couch. Relaxing your body with a deep breath, you closed your eyes, already halfway to dreamland. But as soon as you felt yourself drifting completely, a loud sound of guitar suddenly sounded in your ears, making your eyes snap open.

No, not again!

Fisting the pillow, you felt the anger growing as you knew exactly where the loud rock music was coming from; recognising the band as AC/DC. When the volume increased, you hid your head underneath the pillow, desperate to cut off your aching skull from the noise. But it didn’t work, the sound still bleeding through the cushion. It didn’t take you a minute to shoot up on straight legs and pull on your sweats while marching towards the front door.

Mumbling inappropriate words, you entered the staircase for your building and immediately went down; hearing the power of the music increasing with every step you took. You found yourself on a floor below, with your jaw and hands clenched, eyes glued to door number 12 as you approached it. Once you stood in front of it, you lifted one of your fists and hit the hard on the wood a few times, ready to murder the person on the other side. Of course he made you wait till the song ended, causing you to repeat the punching a couple of times.

When the door finally opened, you were fuming with anger, eyes shooting lightnings towards the tall man on the opposite side of the doorstep.

"I swear to god, Winchester," you hissed through gritted teeth, a loud melody almost muffling your words. "If you won't turn that down, I will physically harm you." Your threatening pulled a laugh from him which only acted as another oil drop to the fire.

"Sweetheart you can't do anything to me," he said, leaning on the doorframe with his arms crossed on this broad chest. "Besides, I don't understand what your problem is." Dean shrugged as if nothing had happened, making your brows shoot up.

"You don't understand?! This music is driving me crazy!" You took a deep breath and while not breaking the strong eye contact you had with him, you started to enlighten him on what exactly was wrong. "I’ve had a terrible day, no, week actually. Everything hurts, my head is pounding and this music is shaking my walls which in turn, is not letting me sleep. So if you could be so nice and turn that off because I swear on what's holy, if I lose my goddamn mind, your name will be the first one I'm gonna mention once they ask me how I ended up in mental hospital." Words just slipped out of you in one unbreakable line and you took shuddering breath after, composing yourself.

However, the smug smirk didn’t leave your neighbour's face; he didn’t give a damn about your monologue. After you finished, he only put a hand on your shoulder and delivered his response.

"It's a Friday evening and we live in a free country. There’s no rule saying I can't listen to loud music, unless it's lights out. What's more, you're the only one who can't stand this, I don't see anyone else coming here to complain, so maybe the problem lies in you, not in me," he simply said, as he flashed you a fake, sarcastic smile and closed the door. But not before saying, "have a nice evening."

You looked up to the ceiling, asking for patience but the frustration and anger were huge. You growled, kicked Winchester's door with your socked foot and cursed, feeling pain going from your toes to the tibial bone.

On your way back to your apartment, you were mumbling out every possible, offensive name that came to your mind when you thought about that green eyed man. Your relationship had been heated ever since he moved into the building. He made your blood boil. Loud music, meetings with his friends, watching movies on full volume on his surround speakers after dark in the middle of the week, noisily cooking at midnight; even his one night stands apparently had an unfulfilled opera career.

You were having a battle with Dean, on average, twice a week. Knowing you weren’t the only one who couldn’t stand his behavior, you asked others for help, but Dean’s charm was way bigger of an opponent than you had expected. He could just use a sweet smile, say a few, flirty words with this deep voice and Ann from the end of the hall would walk on wobbly legs with stupid smile on her face for the next four days.

You couldn’t really blame her, the man was ridiculously attractive but you were looking past it. Dean was an annoying asshole and the only reason you had not yet clawed out his eyes was the fact that visiting the jail wasn’t exactly a wooing thought.

Shutting your door behind you, you leaned against it and ‘Sweet Child O’ mine’ came on. You growled once again, hit your wooden barricade with your head and looked down, trying to find calmness in your floor. Once you stopped radiating fury, knowing that the person below won't let you rest for at least two more hours, you chose the second drawer in your kitchen, searching for painkillers. If you were being made to stay up, you were gonna be productive. Swallowing two aspirin, you decided to clean the place so you could focus on college work tomorrow.

If only you could actually focus on college work.

After waking up at 8 am the next day, you opened the window on your way to the kitchen, craving coffee. It wasn’t normal for you to get up at this hour on the weekend but your finals were coming and you had way more work than you expected.

Thankfully, the weather outside was pleasant; the sun was already shining, creating morning shadows and the soft wind streamed inside your apartment, tickling your ankles as you sat at the table, eating breakfast. The smell of spring made you smile, always bringing back good memories. After the meal, you didn’t bother to change your pajamas for the actual clothes and you just took the laptop to start working on your college sheets. You were sitting with one of your legs bent, heel leaning on the chair, messy bun on your head, sipping on the second coffee while listening to the birds singing happily outside. Words were flooding out of you, making you feel certain that it wouldn’t take you long to be done with your essays. But that blissful moment was cut short when a loud rumble of a car’s engine resonated under your building, causing you to jerk in your chair and almost spill your drink.

Recognizing it straight away, you looked up, trying your best to not get angry again but as the sound of his loud engine revving l continued, you smacked the table with your palm and stood up. As you leaned on your window sill and gazed out, you spotted black, slick Chevrolet with the driver's door, trunk and hood open. Tools were scattered around the vehicle, a jean clothed leg was sticking out from the inside and you greeted your teeth, knowing who that was.

“Hey!” you yelled out, not caring if probably half of the residents could hear you. “I’m trying to study here!”

Dean peeked out and up at you, smiled and got out of the car, leaning his elbow on the hood in a nonchalant way.

“Good morning to you too,” he said and flashed you the oh-so-charming smile.

“It would be good if you didn’t interrupt it with your loud junker,” you spat back, leaning on the window frame and smiled when his face fell; he hated it when someone insulted his Baby, and you were very much aware of that. “Now, could you please lower your generic volume because I have a lot to do and you’re the last thing I want to deal with today.”

“Nobody tells you to. I’m minding my business, you go mind yours, I ain’t stopping you.” He gestured towards you with his grease covered hand.

“No, but your car is making noise that shakes all the dishes in my cabinet.”

He just shrugged and you narrowed your eyes, seeing that he didn’t care about whatever your problem was. “Then I suggest closing the window.”

After saying that, he dived inside the vehicle and seconds later you heard the strong twang of a guitar. Again. This man was very successful in making you hate rock music. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, stopping yourself from throwing a flowerpot at him; only because it was a very nice pot and you were emotionally attached to it.

“I need fresh air! I’m not gonna close the window! Turn that off!” you screamed, but he only frowned and pointed to his ear.

“Sorry sweetheart, can’t hear you!” You could see the smile dancing on his lips and you really wanted to break something on his head. “The music is too loud!”

Clenching your jaw you gave up. Another defeat, but it wasn’t the war you lost; it was just a battle and he was yet to feel your comeback. Showing him your middle finger, you closed the window and went to the bathroom, not being able to hear the soft chuckle that left him.

Maybe to an outsider, Dean’s behavior wasn’t such a big deal, but the longer he acted like that, the more annoying and tiring it was becoming. You couldn’t focus on basic activities because he was giving you a headache in various ways and for some reason, you couldn’t just talk it through with him. Every attempt at trying to get to an understanding with him, ended up with a fight.

Winchester was just a pain in the ass.

Thankfully, he vanished before noon; his car was gone and there was a blissful silence that you made the most of, and finished the majority of what you had to do.

Surrounded by papers and books, you were sitting down on your fluffy carpet, leaning back on your couch, typing away on your laptop. Glancing at your clock again, you frowned. It’s been almost 85 minutes since you ordered pizza; your stomach was rumbling, unhappy with the fact of still being empty. Finding your phone, you dialed the pizza parlor’s number once again. Standing up, you stretched your muscles and looked outside, watching the sunset sky as you waited for someone to pick up. Finally, the lady’s voice spoke to you down the line, asking you how she could help.

“Hi, I made an order from you and I still haven’t received it? It’s been over an hour,” you explained politely, scratching the back of your head.

You didn’t like situations like that; delay was understandable, but it had been way too long. However, you hated to call someone out, you never wanted to make someone’s job harder than it already was. Giving your address to the lady so she could check where your food was, you spotted the black vehicle under the building and your brows shot up. He was home and it was still quiet; it wasn’t normal.

“Miss, the system says your order was delivered and we have a confirmation of receipt.” You frowned hearing her words as what she said was impossible.

“Are you sure? There was no delivery here.”

“Yes, I’m positive. It says someone picked up the order twenty minutes ago.” Pinching your nose, you took a deep breath.

“Could you check the address precisely, please? Maybe your driver made a mistake?” you suggested being already sure someone else got your food.

“Rosenhouse Street, building 4, apartment 12,” she read and the last number made you flinch.

“Apartment 20,” you corrected her, but she denied.

“No Miss, the order was picked up by apartment 12.” And just like that the level of your anger reached three digits in a second.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you murmured and disconnected the call without a goodbye, already storming halfway across your place, getting ready to leave.

Slamming the door, you took a very well known path downstairs and you banged on number 12 as soon as you stood in front of it. Feeling the urge to punch the person who was supposed to open, you inhaled deeply, clenching your teeth. Just... keep it cool, Y/N.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” you growled the second Dean came into your view in his domestic clothes, wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.

“Whoa, what?” he tilted his head with an uncomprehending look.

“Listen,” you pointed a finger at him. “Loud noises, annoying car, your mean behavior, fine, okay. Screw it. But stealing food? That is childish. Can you go any lower?!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, sweetheart,” he said with a smile dancing on his lips. “What food?”

“My pizza,” you muttered through your teeth.

“Oh, right!” He smacked his forehead, acting like he just now understood. “Yeah, pizza was great.”

“You stole it!” you exclaimed, a little too high pitched.

“No I didn’t,” Dean stated, giving you a small, I-know-better smile.

“Yes, you did. I ordered it and you just pocketed it!” You really wanted to stamp your foot like a little girl to tick your fury.

"No sweetheart, I didn’t," he said, crossing his arms and straightening his back so he could tower over you, making you look up. "The guy came in with pizza, said he's supposed to bring it here, so I paid for it and ate it."

"Oh! Because it's normal to pay for the food you didn’t order and keep it to yourself. And stop calling me sweetheart!" You puffed out irritated, making him smirk.

"You're cute when you're angry." Your face fell and you felt your palm itching. What would he do if you slapped him?

"Dean," you warned him but he chuckled.

"No, seriously." He reached to your forehead, wanting to brush it with his finger. "You have this cute, little wrinkle in the middle-"

"Don't touch me." You smacked his hand away and pointed a warning finger straight into his face. "One more action like this and you're gonna regret it," you growled out and walked away.

"So it's threatening now, huh?!" he called after you, coming out to stand in the hall.

Before you stepped on the stairs, you turned around with such a force, that your hair flipped over one of your shoulders and you showed him your middle finger. Hearing his low laugh bouncing on the wall, you scoffed annoyed as you stomped loudly going back upstairs. You swore that if you were supposed to become a murderer one day, that this man was gonna be victim number one. This whole 'lets annoy her' process would be great fuel for you to slice that slender throat of his.

Shutting the door again, you walked into the kitchen, dived in the fridge and decided to stuff yourself with pancakes. Screw Dean and his pizza, you were not going to give him satisfaction with ordering anything else tonight.

“So, he’s a confident man,” Jo stated after you told her about Winchester’s behavior.

You came to Harvelle's to grab something for Sunday dinner; they had the most delicious menu in the whole town and no one could change your mind. You were sitting with a blonde girl at the table, outside their restaurant, sipping on some light drinks Ellen had prepared for the two of you. Ash was already working on your meal in the kitchen while Jo was taking her break so she could sit with you and listen about your neighbour under the floor. It took you way longer to describe everything and you felt kind of bad for that. You weren’t the type who whined about such things and forced friends to hear about your bullshit, but now you were desperate to get it all off your chest.

“Confident asshole,” you corrected her, “I just wish he could finally get his ass kicked, you know? I can’t live with this man! He’s an arrogant, offensive, little, annoying dickhead!” you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

After a few seconds of silence, you looked up at Jo. She was watching you, clearly trying not to smile; her lips were twitching and small dimples had already appeared. You knew her long enough to know that she was all ready to tease you about this whole situation.

“What?” you barked at her and she lifted her hands in defense.

“Nothing!” She shrugged. “Just, your relationship with him seems to have been�� rough since the very beginning.”

“It is! I really wanna punch him!” Jo lifted her brows, a smile breaking on her face.

“Just punch him?” The suggestion was shining in her eyes and your shoulders fell down at the subtext.

“Jo!” she started giggling when she heard your resigned tone. “Just because I’m having a heated exchange with a hot guy doesn’t mean that I wanna fuck him!”

“Oh, so you think he’s hot?” she asked innocently, taking a sip from her glass.

“Yes, but he’s an idiot and I would never let him in my panties, come on,” you scoffed as you rolled your eyes. The last thing you would ever do was having sex with this man.

“Sure.”

And you knew Jo didn’t believe you. To be honest, if you thought about it really, really hard, you weren’t sure if you believed yourself…

The door opened and Ash came out with a smile, your food packed in a thermal box.

“There you go, girl. We do not accept any complaints,” he said, winking at you and you chuckled, taking the meal from him.

“Thanks, Ash.” He saluted you and vanished as quickly as he appeared. You glanced at your phone laying on the table and sighed seeing the time. “Okay babe, I’m gonna go. School’s calling and I bothered you enough anyway.”

“Oh stop it, you’re not bothering me, don’t be stupid,” she said smiling, and hugged you tight. “Text me when you get home.”

“Sure thing.” You winked and walked backwards, watching her disappear inside the RoadHouse.

Smiling to yourself, you turned around and crossed the street. At first your thoughts were filled with Jo who could always put you in a good mood but then they gradually transitioned into someone else.

You didn’t know if it was your overworked system or what Jo had teased you about that caused Dean to stick inside your mind, but you wanted to scream; it was like he had nested in there. Not only was he disturbing your living space, but he was now invading your mental space as well. What’s more, it wasn’t exactly hard to not think about him in a nasty way, and you hated it. The truth was that he was attractive from his fluffy hair to his toes, and more than once you had caught yourself daydreaming about his hands and mouth on you.

You couldn’t help it. The way he looked was not fair and Jo made you realise that if not for his attitude, you would have slept with him a long time ago. Thankfully, in the moments you felt weakness for him, he was doing something that pissed you off to the point where you wanted to bite his head off.

You really wanted to get even with him, you had to bounce the ball. The need to bite back was so big that you stopped dead in your tracks when you saw the paint store. The bulb in your head flickered on and a devil smile angled your lips. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe it was childish, maybe it was crossing the line, but you had suffered enough thanks to this jerk.

Buying one can of pink chalk paint, you were muting your common sense that was currently shouting at you. As the saying goes - you only live once. He wanted a fight? You were going to fight. He started to play a strong hand? You were going to do the same. He thought playing with you like that was fun? Well, you were gonna have some fun too. Besides, he wouldn’t realise immediately that the paint would easily wash off, but seeing him panic thinking that his car had been defaced was revenge enough.

With a few last strokes of a paintbrush, you were finished. Straightening your back, you looked down at your work and smiled, satisfied with pink flowers you had drawn on the black surface. They were a nice contrast and you really liked the shape. In all honesty, it kinda burned you to paint this four wheeled beauty, but it wasn’t your fault her owner was a douchebag who deserved a lesson.

The impala was parked in her usual spot, next to the building that was mostly asleep. There were no cameras and due to the late hour, the chance of someone spotting you was small. Besides, you were just a hooded figure, no one would recognise you anyway even with the dim light from a lonely lantern. It was risky, but you were too far gone in your revenge to care. It had been done and you wished you could see Dean’s face in the morning.

Gathering your things you looked around, checking to see if there was anyone you should avoid and you got back to your apartment. After closing the door, you took off your clothes, staying only in leggings and a t-shirt, and decided to make some tea. You had this weird energy bubbling inside of you and it would be a waste to not use it on college papers. Getting comfortable on your couch you started going through materials for one of your projects.

Not expecting any visitors, you jumped slightly while hearing a rapid knocking on your door an hour later. You frowned and stood up, finishing your tea on your way to the entry. What you saw on the other side almost made you smile like an idiot. Dean was boring into you with his eyes; if looks could kill, you would surely be a beautiful corpse by now. His chest was rising and falling heavily, jaw clenched to the point his cheek was twitching and you could see the slight blush coloring on his face. He was wearing his leather jacket but was also in sweats so you assumed he was about to make a quick grocery run or something.

“What the hell?!” he growled at you before you could say a word. Ohhh, he was angry.

“What?” You shrugged innocently, ignoring the weird chill that ran down your spine after hearing the vibrations of his tone.

Dean took a deep breath, doing his best to not shout out. “I wanted to go get some beer and burgers, but guess what. Someone screwed up my car. And you know what? I think it was you.”

He pointed a finger at you, holding keys in his hand. You laughed and leaned on your doorframe, ready to confront him. Satisfaction already tickled your insides, but there was one thing that you had to admit - he was hot when he was angry.

“You really think that I have nothing better to do than mess up your car?” you asked, amused by his flaring nostrils.

"Don't you fucking dare play with me like that," he said firmly, not wanting to yell. "Do you know it's property damage? You broke a law and I can easily get you in trouble."

He was fuming with anger and you were sure that if it was possible, there would be smoke coming out of his ears. You smiled and stood your ground, finding it adorable how he thought he had anything useful against you.

"You have nothing on me. No proof that I was the one who defaced your car," you started, taking two steps to stand inches away from him. "Call the cops and I'm gonna tell them all about the nuisance, the stealing, manipulation and manifestations of aggression all coming from you.”

You stared straight into his eyes, a smart smile not leaving you even for a second; feeling confident in your words. Maybe he had a point, but you weren’t empty handed. You could get punished for what you did and so could he.

“What is your problem, Y/N?!” he asked, pinching his nose, clearly irritated with you. “You keep whining, making problems out of nothing and now painting my damn car?”

“You’re not letting me live in peace!” you raised your voice. “Your loud music, loud car, loud tv, loud you in general! I can’t sleep, I can’t study, I can’t do anything because you’re always there to disturb me!”

“Then leave!” he suggested, raising his tone as well. You were taken aback; lifting your brows you blinked a few times. Was he joking?

“Leave?! Are you kidding me now?! This is my home and just a friendly reminder, I was in here first so maybe you should back off!”

“But you’re the only one having a problem with me!” he yelled, spreading his arms, highlighting the obviousness of his argument.

“Because you’re a manipulative ass! You use your charm, this fucking smile, your shining eyes, and nice language, and the whole building is yours! Even Ian from the 4th floor and he doesn't even like people!”

“Ian is a cool guy!”

“Good!”

You took a breath and opened your mouth to say something more but no words came out. Again, you were convinced that there was no way to come to an agreement with this guy. Further arguments were pointless. Looking at him you shook your head and brushed your hair to the back. The soft smile and look you gave him next, made him frown a little.

“You know what? Fuck you,” you said simply and went to close the door, but his retort didn’t let you.

“You wish.”

Freezing, you locked your eyes with his and in a split second, something shifted in the air. The atmosphere got thick and the tension you had been building for months, now came into play, kinda taking you both by surprise. Dean felt it too, you could see his expression changing. He was trying to read you, trying to understand what was buzzing between you. A part of you wanted to explain it, to show him that you already knew it was sexual tension saying ‘hi’, but as soon as you realised that, you swallowed and forced your rational mask back on.

Shaking off the urge to take steps towards him, you scoffed and sending him one last look, you shut the door without saying anything. Taking two deep breaths, you leaned your forehead on the wooden barricade and closed your eyes.

There was no way in hell you would give in and break. He had everyone else in his fist, but not you. The only person that didn’t fall under his spell, the only one that didn’t let your craving inside take better of you. Dean was still your enemy and a pain in the ass; it was a matter of honour and dignity to stay away.

However, soft knocking made your eyes snap open. No. Darting your head from the door you looked at it, knowing who was behind it but that didn’t even register when you pulled on the door-handle. Dean was supporting his body on his arms that he had placed on both sides of your door, blocking the way. He was looking at you intensely, his breathing quicker than moments ago.

You could see the exact second he made a decision. You knew he was going to do something he shouldn’t and yet, you let him close the gap between you and crush his mouth to yours, cupping your cheeks at the same time. The force he hit you with made you take steps backwards, encouraging him to come in and turn you around so you could unconsciously close the door. His grip was firm, long fingers digging in your neck as hot lips forced yours apart. But your stubbornness caused you to push him away, breaking the connection.

The look you exchanged was a mix of emotions; hate, passion, frustration, lust, confusion, hesitation. This was something completely new for you; needing him was unfamiliar, strange, but at the same time stronger than anything you had felt before when it came to Dean. There was this quiet voice telling you that it was already too late; you tasted it and you wanted it, obviously. The other voice was louder, trying to make you aware of how messed up it's gonna be after, but somehow you didn’t want to listen. Not this time.

"Fuck it."

Saying that, you approached Dean and gripping him by the back of his neck, you pulled him down for a kiss. It was sloppy and deep, all teeth and tongues. He inhaled through his nose, bending down when your nails clawed at his skin. Grabbing you by the waist, he used a little pressure so you walked backwards. You didn’t expect to be pushed against the wall and a surprised gasp escaped you when your back hit it. Looking up at Dean, you noticed how his hungry eyes flickered over your figure and a cocky smirk formed on his face. You mirrored his expression and lifted your chin, so you could suck in his lower lip, biting on it softly. His response was immediate and fierce; he pressed his body to yours, pinning you to the wall completely, kissing you even deeper than before. The heat flooded you, making your cheeks burn and a sweat break.

You moaned and that seemed to spur him on because his hands started travelling all over your body. Doing the same, you aimed for his jacket, pushing it off his broad shoulders so it could land on the floor. The thought of finally discovering what was under his clothes took over your brain and you started to pull on his t-shirt, hazed and eager. But Dean grabbed your wrist and pinned it next to your head, not letting you undress him. You twisted and tugged, trying to break free, but he slid his fingers between yours and you instinctively clenched your palm.

“Don’t fight,” he breathed out, leaving your lips as he dropped to your neck, letting you take a much needed breath.

Leaning your head back you gave him the access to your throat where he licked and sucked, french-kissing your flesh. Your knees buckled a little when his hot lips closed on your pulse point, sending shivers down your spine as his stubble prickled you. Feeling his second hand sneaking under your shirt, you held your breath and jerked on the skin to skin contact. He wasn’t delicate; his long fingers were squeezing and digging, a firm touch making it all the more intense. Using your free hand you fisted his hair, pulling on it. Dean purred, nibbling on your flesh, making your eyes roll. It was like playing tennis, back and forth; you had an answer to each other's movements.

The hunger inside you was growing fast; you were getting more and more impatient and being caged by Dean only made you feel limited. So, naturally, you rebelled, trying to take control; with Dean it was always a competition. But your attempt only caused him to press his body more, his knee coming between your legs, making it harder for you to move. The thin material of your leggings was a weak protection to his touch and you whined when your sensitive area met his thigh. Fidgeting even more, you made him chuckle.

“Stop fighting,” he whispered into your ear as he pulled your earlobe between his teeth.

Growling, you turned your head and sunk your teeth into his neck, tasting sweet and salty. Dean hissed and backed away, looking down at you with a surprise in his eyes, brows slightly furrowed. You smiled and angled yourself to speak against his lips.

“Don’t act like you don’t like a fight, Winchester.”

The suggestion was clear and he seemed to understand. Your relationship was already a ticking bomb so why not have a little fun?

The challenging look you gave him was a last jolt and his mode switched. Before you could do anything, he kissed you firmly, letting go of you just to grab on the front of your shirt. Pulling with two hands Dean ripped the fabric in half, revealing your torso, making you smile a devil’s smile. He shook his head in disbelief that you were actually going along with it and grinning, he attacked your jaw. Scraping it with his teeth first, then kissing and going down passed your neck, to your collarbone. Bending his knees so he could reach lower and lower, he proceeded to shrug the destroyed clothing off you and focus on your breasts. Placing sloppy kisses on the curves, Dean moved his hands on your back and unclasped your bra. As soon as it was gone, he sucked in one of your nipples, causing you to arch your chest. Pulling his hair, you grabbed the back of his head, letting him know you enjoyed his work.

Every time his lips touched you, they left burning spots and you could feel yourself getting wetter. Not holding back anymore, you started to roll your hips, seeking the friction his leg could give you. Still playing with your boobs, he caught your hips and added the power to your moves, dragging a moan from you. Glancing down, you spotted the bulge in his sweatpants and realised he was still wearing too much clothes.

“Take that fucking shirt off,” you panted out, grabbing on the piece of clothing on his back.

This time he allowed you to do what you needed, lifting his arms to make your task easier and the second his chest was bare, you used your nails to leave red lines, making him grimace from pain before he kissed you. Caressing his newly exposed body, you felt firm muscles of his strong arms flexing. He wasn’t a gym type of guy, he was soft in some places but firm and strong in general, and that turned you on to the point your stomach flipped.

Suddenly, he pushed on your hips until your butt touched the wall behind you and pulled away from you, straightening himself. You looked at each other, panting and flinching in anticipation. Keeping the eye contact, Dean cupped your face, brushing his thumb over your swollen lips and slowly slid his hands down your body. You swallowed hard when he hooked his fingers behind your waistband and pulled your leggings down, crouching in front of you.

With a thumping heart you looked down at him, meeting his dark eyes watching you as he kissed your knee, your thigh, your inner thigh; his hands travelling up your legs, leaving goosebumps. You shivered when his hot breath hit your still clothed core. He placed a kiss on your damp panties, making your pussy clench and stopped. Leaning his forehead on your lower stomach, he tried to remain self-control, breathing strongly to calm himself down... and he failed. This whole situation was too much and he had wanted it for way too long to stop now.

Shooting up, he claimed your lips, driving his fingers inside your briefs at the same time. His digits went through your folds, gathering slick and found your clit, making you gasp into his mouth.

“Yeah? Right here?” he whispered and you sucked the air in through your mouth when he drew a circle, pressing harshly on your little nub.

Feeling him smiling, you clung to his neck, keeping him close when he started to make circles on your button. Moaning laughs escaped you, mixed with short breaths as you felt fire filling your veins, tickling sparks running from your clit to every nook of your system. For a moment you lost yourself in the feeling, but your brain woke up when he nudged you, rubbing his dick on your leg.

Opening your eyes, you locked them with his, tracing your palm down his chest and stomach. Somehow, you managed to turn you both around so he was by the wall. You didn’t care about teasing him through his pants so you pushed your hand inside and grabbed his hard shaft. Dean jerked and choked on his breath; the whole foreplay made him ridiculously sensitive.

You smiled satisfied and began to pump him, making his head fall back on the wall. His exposed neck was shining with sweat, throat moving as he swallowed hard. Your biting kink was begging for you to bite him, but the view was too good to not watch. His breathing quickened along with your strokes, his jaw flexing when he opened his mouth to chug. A thick vein popped out on the side of his neck, a guttural whine coming from him when you rubbed your thumb on his tip. Finally, you gave in and closed your lips on his jaw, light stubble pricking your lips. Dean turned his head and palming yours he brought you in for a kiss but you broke it fast, having enough.

"Come on," you said, taking his hand and leading him to your bedroom.

Not being able to stay away from each other, you stumbled towards the room, kissing and laughing, getting rid of the rest of the clothes on your way. Hitting the bed you let yourself fall on it, pulling Dean behind you. He hovered above you, using his tongue to play with your nipples as you both climbed up to the headboard. Adjusting the pillows beneath you, you felt his body pressing down, arms sneaking under yours as he kissed you deeply. Rolling his hips, he drove his cock between your folds, poking your clit and you automatically lifted your lower body up on your heels, feeling the electricity running through you. Dean bit down on your lip and pulled on it hard with his teeth, smiling when you hissed.

Without thinking much you just reached between your bodies and guided his cock to your entrance, making him freeze. The look he gave you was a mashup of a question and disbelief, and all it took was your evil smirk. You felt him fisting the sheets under you and with one, mild thrust he slid inside of you. Arching your back you inhaled, digging your fingers into his shoulders. He was stretching you; your walls fluttered around him when he bottomed out, making the two of you give silent moans, your voices stuck in your throats from intensity.

Watching you, he began to move, making you both more and more comfortable with the feeling. Gradually, his pace increased and so did the noises. Your breathy moans and growls filled the room, mixing with the sound of skin slapping on skin as Dean's hips waved between your thighs, faster and faster. New layers of sweat covered your bodies as the temperature increased; you felt the omnipresent, pleasurable burning.

Dean kept the rhythm, only stopping for just for a moment to kiss you. Not letting the opportunity pass, you pushed on him and flipped over so you were on top. Looking at you with a smirk, he palmed your asscheeks as you sinked down on him, continuing the activity.

The passion and sensuality made your head spin; Dean’s lustful eyes devouring you alive weren’t helping. You dragged your nails on his flesh again, making him hiss between the sounds. It wasn’t easy to breathe, to think or control yourself; your body started working by itself, speeding up, making you bounce on him while leaning your hands on his chest for support. Dean couldn’t decide where to touch, what part of you he should grab next; his hands were everywhere. Wrapping his fingers around the back of your neck he sat up, changing the angle and gave you this eye-rolling kiss. This asshole knew what he was doing.

A new position allowed you to only roll your hips and you laid back, grabbing Dean’s ankle to make your moves more fluent. He took a handful of your ass, helping you, watching himself sliding in and out of you, growling in pleasure. Tangled together you moved in sync, matching the other’s moves, grinding to empower the sensation. Feeling the coil tightening in your stomach, your head hung back and you exhaled, wailing quietly. A hand flattened on your back and Dean violently pulled you up, pressing your forehead to his. With closed eyes, panting against each other's mouth you chased both of your deliriums. Your pussy fluttered, your nails dug into his neck as you clasped it; the feeling started to overwhelm. The way Dean was moaning and clinging to you made it clear that he felt the same.

Your strength was fading and you found yourself slowing down. Dean’s attempts to continue were in vain as he was becoming weak too, exhaustion and his upcoming release taking over him.

“Y/N,” he warned you and you opened your eyes, looking at him when he reached between you. “I’m gonna-” you kissed him, cutting him off, tugging on his lip with your teeth.

“Stay inside,” you whispered, watching the surprise flash through his features.

The serious, assuring look on your face made his eyes roll back and the noise he made, clamped your stomach. Using your last strands of your power, you sped up, Dean joining you by hitting the right spot inside you. His fingers found your clit again, rubbing on it fast and you moaned loudly, feeling your muscles tightening.

A few more strokes, a few more moves and the crushing wave of pleasure hit you; your inner walls pulsated, squeezing Dean’s cock as you grabbed firmly on his neck, holding on for dear life. His thrusts went more erratic but also were more powerful; he was pounding inside you slow but hard, putting his forehead between your breasts. You were shaking and his breath fanning over your tummy only added more goosebumps.

Then you felt his arms wrapping around you and he hugged you tight. Pulling you close, Dean thrusted for the last time and with a low, throaty groan he stilled; his cock throbbing inside you, allowing you to milk him as you were still coming. The two of you were shivering, entwined in each other, panting and sweaty. Your heart was hammering and you could feel Dean’s galloping as well.

After calming down a bit, he let go of you and fell back on the bed, hitting the pillows with a sigh. Licking your lips, you looked down at him and smiled, seeing his eyes sparkling with joy and bliss. He laughed, caressing your thighs and then pulled you down for a kiss. It was sweet and soft, without tongue, just lips brushing yours; completely different then those earlier.

Oh, so he could be gentle too.

Cupping his face, you pecked his mouth a few times and then rolled off of him, standing up to make a quick run to your bathroom to clean yourself, leaving the door open.

"Hey!" you heard him yelling not even two minutes later, after you splashed your face with cold water. "Is it weird that I wanna cuddle?!"

You smiled on his words, shaking your head. Asshole also appeared to be a softie cuddler. Can this evening be any weirder?

"Yes!" you yelled back, laughing as you put down the cloth you were using to dry yourself.

"Cool!" he announced and then changed his tone, "I don't care."

Chuckling, you turned the light off on your way out and grabbed a random, oversized t-shirt from your drawer to put it on, letting it slip from one of your shoulders. Dean was making himself comfy in your bed, watching you carefully with his arm under his head and a stupid grin on his face.

"What?" you asked as you climbed on the bed, joining him under the covers.

"Nothing," he shrugged and shifted so you could fit in, resting your head on his chest.

Throwing your arm over his middle, you hugged him as his fingers came to trace the skin on your shoulder. A comfortable silence fell over you as you cuddled, enjoying the warmth, but you knew his mind was running, just like yours.

You didn’t like this tendency of yours to overthink, but the current situation was not only unexpected but also confusing. What now? Lovers? Relationship? Friends with benefits? Enemies with benefits? Because, you had to stay honest, if he did something that would piss you off, no matter how good he was in bed, you would still punch his perfect nose.

"I'm sorry." His words surprised you, detaching you from your thoughts. "For being a noisy neighbour."

You could hear the genuine guilt in his voice and that immediately made you feel like a bitch, so you said the first thing that came to your mind.

"I'm sorry for screwing up your car," you mumbled and quickly regretted it.

"Ha! So it was you!" His victory voice made your eyes roll and you poked his side, annoyed by the fact he dragged a confession from you so easily.

"But if it makes you feel any better, the paint is made of chalk so it’ll easily wash off," you said, unable to help the silly smile that spread across your face when you saw the relieved but shocked expression that he wore.

“Well played,” he chuckled, the sound rumbling under your ear which you found oddly comforting. So you snuggled more, melting into the intimacy.

You had to look the truth straight into the eye; maybe he did infuriate you like no other but there was something else. A pull, an urge to blow off the constant steam forming between you. You wanted him and something was telling you that from now on you won't be knocking on door number 12 just to fuss about loud music.

And once Jo finds out, you wouldn’t hear the end of it.

A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :) Feel free to leave some feedback. ASKs and DMs are open, don’t be afraid to message me. Every word from you is gold <3

Tag list is open! :)

If something is not working, you weren’t on the tag list even if you wanted to, you can’t send an ask or you didn’t receive the notification about me tagging you in any of my fics, please contact me in DM’s.

Tag list: @deanwanddamons @jay-and-dean @katehuntington @winchest09 @talesmaniac89 @roonyxx @bunkerconfessions @akshi8278 @snffbeebee @lady-pswrld @rvgrsbrns​ @polina-93 @teresa-67 @alwayskeepfightingsweetheart @mrspeacem1nusone @flamencodiva @cutiecowgirl @waywardbaby @flashxspn @lyarr24

[boldlyvoid]

Intro and masterlist

✨about me ✨

this is a mature blog, I trust all minors to be responsible and avoid everything marked NSFW!

NSFW sideblog: @pervstash-spencer

Hi! my name is emily, I'm 23 she/they

Capricorn, bisexual, non-binary, autistic, and I have fibromyalgia ✌🏻 overall just a fun time y'know.

ao3

i love: supernatural, star trek, marvel movies, criminal minds, this is us and grey's anatomy !!

Accepting requests for Spencer Reid x Reader fics currently

all my tags are listed below if you want to see other posts about said fics, also here is my Spotify for the fics <3

Dad!spencer Masterlist

First times Masterlist**

all links to my fics below the cut!

Updated: July 28th, 2021

** for smut

~~ for angst

Spencer Reid x Reader fics

Hypothetically**~ Ao3 | Tumblr -- 27 chapters, complete. 89k

reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

touch me**~ Ao3 | Tumblr 5.8k

Spencer is incredibly touch-starved and hard on himself since coming home from prison. Luckily, the medical examiner in this small town is really good at reading people, and exactly what he needs.

amethyst you so much P1 Ao3 | Tumblr 6.4k

Spencer has had a crush on Y/N since she started working at the bau. She only ever works the night shift after a case, handling all the aftermath gracefully. one night, Spencer stays back and they strike up a conversation about rocks, causing their feelings to dig a little deeper.

of quartz i will P2** Ao3 | Tumblr 6K

after 2 years of dating, Spencer decides it's finally time to get Y/N something to match her Amethyst bracelet.

Amoreena**~ Ao3 | Tumblr Completed 83k

Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Seven* Tumblr WIP

Summary: Spencer’s been married to Y/N for 7 years now, they have 7 children together and each one is going through something different. Spencer’s always wanted to be the best dad, now he gets to figure out how to be.

the guy at the rock show Ao3 | Tumblr 5.6K

Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.

journey to Camelot** Ao3 | Tumblr 3.8K

When Penelope introduces Spencer to online games, he expects to be spending his nights alone. Yet, somehow every time he comes back from a bad case, he logs on to chat with the ever so lovely user FairlyGwen and getting a lot more than just a helpful tip from her.

Exploration** Ao3 | Tumblr 4.7K

request: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room

Expedition** Tumblr 1.2K

Summary: there's a first time for everything... including joining the mile high club with your boyfriend on the work jet.

10 Days Ao3 | Tumblr 1.4K

it's spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are.

ain't it fun?** Ao3 | Tumblr Masterlist 11K

reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

I'm not kidding!** Tumblr 6K

Spencer keeps getting little notes from a secret admirer, they're nice and sweet at first as they tease him with their crush until she's sending him notes about all the dirty things she wants to do to him

Perfect Timing** Tumblr 1K

spencer and reader have been spending the last month together in the same hotel room during a pretty brutal case. tension has been rising and she's completely in love with him.

what happens when they both think the other won't be back for a while and they want to shower?

Redamancy** Tumblr 5.4K

the co-op librarian at the FBI Academy has been secretly crushing on the smartest agent in the Bureau, TA, Doctor Spencer Reid, and he's been crushing on her too.

Being Neighbourly** Tumblr 1.9K

Request: reader is Spencers neighbour and she can hear him masturbating every night that he's home how do you have her deal with that?

Professional Hair Dresser (Ph.D)** Tumblr 6.4K

summary: after Spencer's knee injury, he starts visiting a salon every week to get his hair washed

36 Questions to Fall in Love Tumblr 8K

Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day

New Romantics** Tumblr 23k

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Million Dollar Man** | Tumblr WIP 5k so far

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea** | Y/N version | 1-4, 5-9, Epilogue 25.6k

Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Spencer x Ethan

Ruin it.** Tumblr 5.4K

Summary: Spencer never had sleepovers as a kid, so now that he's an adult he's always sleeping over at Ethan's house, ad he'll take any excuse to crawl into bed beside him.

Warnings: mutual pining, love concessions, blowjobs, handjobs, anal sex (both top and bottom spencer in this), childhood friends to lovers

400 Celebration fics

Reid Me Tumblr 2.5K

Spencer has noticed a beautiful woman at a spirituality booth at the farmers market every Saturday for almost a whole year now. he finally asks her to give him a reading.

mystery of love Tumblr 700

Spencer surprises his wife with a trip to Italy.

Spy Kids Tumblr 900

Spencer and Y/N's kids think that they are secretly spies and request a mission story before bed.

a father's greatest weakness Tumblr 1K

Princess Y/N is betrothed to the Viking king in an effort by her father to keep the peace between their countries, he doesn't expect her to join in the fight to free Scottland.

Luke x Reader

Best Dad Ever 2.8K

Request: angst with a happy ending, reader and luke have been divorced for a few years but have a child, she tries and tries to fall out of love with him but he's around so often that she can't

Spencer x OC

Sugar Honey Ice Tea** Ao3 | WIP 9/10 chapters complete 25.6K

Fix-it-fic: Dr. Beth Pattinson and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It Ao3 | Tumblr WIP 6K+

Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

Criminal Minds x Mindhunter AU

Spencer x OC Peggy Carr

Franklin x Reader

Voulez-Vouz** | 3.2k

Summary: in a small town, everyone knows each other… or at least they think they do.

Warnings: porn with plot, smut, Dom reader, Sub!Perv!franklin, making out, teasing, face sitting, oral (female and male), hand jobs, overstimulation, prostate message, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, let me know if I forgot anything.

Chip x Reader

forever is the sweetest con** | 6.2K

Summary: Reader’s dad is a carpenter; sometimes he takes on apprentices and sometimes, if they’re lucky, they get his daughter’s number at the end of their training. Chip Taylor, however, hits the jackpot when her father invites him over for one of her homecooked meals.

Warnings: reader’s mom passed away, mentions of parental death, strangers to lovers, random acts of kindness, mutual pining, falling in love, steamy make-outs, oral sex (male and female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, sub!chip, food mentions, praise, love confessions.

Raymond x Reader

Alone Together ** | 2.4K

Summary: Raymond moves into a haunted house and ends up sleeping with the ghost who lives there... only he doesn't know that when you fuck a ghost you also become one.

Warnings: details of suicide and murder, blowjobs, pegging, bottom!raymond, top!reader, becoming a ghost, major character death.

Star Trek Masterlist

Star Wars fix it fic

Supernatural masterlist

thanks for all the love, as always,

-Emily <3

[monicashipsnickyjoe]

Joe has been waiting in this coffee shop line for no less than ten minutes, but he doesn’t mind because he’s spent that long looking at the man in front of him. The line of those shoulders and the curve of that long neck reminds Joe of someone he can’t place. Still, he’s almost positive that he knows this man. A memory, somewhere, sits in the back of his mind, itchy.

When the man turns, chin to shoulder, and gifts Joe his profile, the sight of a prominent nose is enough.

“Nicolò!”

It’s been years, but Joe would never forget his childhood friend. As neighbors who went to different schools, they were inseparable in the evenings. For summers, they were practically attached at the hip.

Nicky has grown since then, filling out his lean frame. Lanky limbs are now solid mass. And those shoulders. Shoulders that tense up as Joe watches, until Nicky looks like a rubber band pulled too tightly, ready to snap.

Sighing, he half-turns toward Joe, though his gaze remains elsewhere. “Did you want a selfie together? Or an autograph?”

Joe frowns. He’s heard from his mother that Nicky is doing well for himself - she’s seen him on television. But Joe doesn’t watch television. Maybe he’s been afraid to. Maybe he wants the past ten years back, to stand once more under that tree in Nicky’s backyard where they said goodbye, and actually kiss him this time.

Joe said Nicky’s name on reflex. Perhaps he should have let the past live in the past.

“No,” Joe says. “Sorry.”

Joe ducks his head, but he still feels the moment Nicky sets his eyes on him. He hears the soft intake of breath. He watches Nicky’s shoes as those feet twist further until Nicky is entirely facing him.

“Yusuf?”

Joe tries for a smile. “It’s me.” He looks up and finds himself in a blue-green ocean. Nicky’s face does not so much as twitch, but those eyes always give him away. “Hello, Nicky.”

Nicky steps toward him. “Joe, I -”

“It’s okay,” Joe says.

“No, I -”

“You don’t have to -”

A stranger’s voice calls out, from further down the line. “Is that Nicolò di Genova?”

Nicky’s mouth snaps closed. His back straightens.

“It is!” says someone else. In a matter of moments, Nicky is swarmed with fans. He’s patient with them, taking pictures and signing autographs, but Joe can see the tense line of his body and the tightness in his smile.

Ahead of Nicky, the line has dwindled. The cashier calls out for the next customer, but Nicky is buried in fans. Joe steps around the crowd and takes Nicky’s place. He has no idea what Nicky is drinking but he guesses a coffee and orders another for himself.

Drinks in hand, Joe turns to find fresh faces surrounding Nicky, and decides to step in. “Okay! Alright! Thank you all, but Mr. di Genova must be moving on now. He’s on a tight schedule, you know.” He passes the coffee to Nicky, then places his free hand on the small of Nicky’s back. “Please excuse us.” Cutting through the crowd, he leads Nicky toward the exit and around the building toward the back parking lot.

Once they are out of sight, Nicky slumps against the wall. “Thank you.”

“It was my fault for calling you out.” Joe hums. “You must be very famous.”

“You haven’t seen the show?”

Joe doesn’t want to hurt him, but he doesn’t want to lie, either. “No.” Even thinking of Nicky, of what could of been, has been so painful. How could Joe bear to see him? To know how beautiful he’s become? To know all that he’s missing?

“Good,” Nicky says, kicking off the wall. “It’s terrible.”

Startled, Joe laughs.

Nicky looks at him again, and his eyes sparkle in the same mischievous kind of way they used to before he suggested something that always got them both in trouble.

“Joe,” Nicky says. “If I asked you to take a ride with me, would you?”

Joe wonders, even with ten years separating their last day together and today, how Nicky could ever think the answer might be no. “Nicky, I’d follow you anywhere.”

Nicky dips his head, and his lips curl up into a gentle, easy smile. Softly, he says, “I missed you.”

Joe forgets how to breathe.

“Come on.” Nicky walks past him and into the parking lot. Without a word, Joe follows. Ten years wasted. Ten years too long.

Nicky stops at the side of a red Ferrari. Joe finds his breath again just to laugh. For such an unassuming man - even now he wears jeans and a t-shirt - he would have the flashiest car in the lot.

Joe has learned long ago to never place presumptions on Nicolò di Genova.

“You don’t like it?” Nicky asks. He’s still smiling, there’s no hurt in it.

“It’s perfect, Nicky.” Just like you.

Joe opens the passenger side door and slides inside, as Nicky does the same behind the wheel. Nicky turns the key and the Ferrari roars to life. That look of mischief returns to Nicky’s face.

Joe’s heart flip-flops in his chest.

Without another word, Nicky touches the gas pedal and they jolt forward. He veers around the corner, then onto the road, the highway, and out to the country. He drives fast, but danger never registers for Joe. Nicky’s eyes do not  leave the road. His hands stay fixed on the wheel at ten and two.

Only when he drives to the edge of an orchard, on the side of a tall, grassy hill, and stops, does Nicky lower his hands. With the car in park, he turns off the ignition and gets out. Joe follows, walking behind him to the edge of the treeline. They’re fruit-bearing trees, not unlike the one in Nicky’s backyard all those years ago. The one they climbed. And fell from. The one they used as protection for water balloon fights, and home base for games of tag. The one Joe leaned on when he told Nicky his family was moving. The one Nicky hid his face against when Joe walked away for the last time.

“Nicolò.” Joe wants to fix it. They tried to stay in touch for a while. But days turned to weeks turned to months, and before long, Joe’s best friend and secret crush was someone he hadn’t talked to in years. He had no idea how to bridge that gap then.

But now, with Nicky right here.

“Nicky, I -”

In the shadow of a tree, Nicky cups Joe’s face in his hands and kisses him quiet. It’s soft and sweet and world shattering. Joe grabs at Nicky’s wide shoulders and holds on for dear life, else he might fling straight into the sun.

When it’s over, Nicky presses his forehead to Joe’s.

Joe’s hands shake. His breath is uneven.

“Ten years,” Nicky says, closing his eyes. “Every day for ten years, I regretted not doing that.”

One hand still clawing at Nicky’s shoulder, Joe lifts his other to brush the line of Nicky’s jaw and bury his fingertips into the short hairs at the back of Nicky’s neck.

“Yusuf,” Nicky says, a plea in his voice. “I have thought of you so many times. Please. Tell me I was not alone.”

A warmth rushes through Joe’s body, starting from deep in his chest. For a moment he thinks he has never been this happy before in his whole life, but then he realizes he is mistaken. It’s just been ten years.

“We said goodbye ten years ago,” Joe says, “But my heart has never strayed from your side.”

Nicky’s eyes snap open. How can he possibly be surprised?

“Kiss me again, Nicky,” Joe says. “We have ten years to make up for.”

And Nicky wastes no more time.

[alrightberries]

our sorry little hearts

❈ pairing: levi ackerman x fem!reader

❈ genre: angst. ❈ word count: 1.6k

❈ summary: Levi hasn’t seen your traitorous Eldian face in years.

❈ trigger warnings: profanity. war. mentions of blood, death, and violence.

a/n: you’ve heard of enemies to lovers, now get ready for... lovers to enemies. this takes place during the liberio invasion aka S4 E6. based on a love like war by all time low.

(also don’t tell anyone but this is me lowkey warming up after not writing for so long)

There’s something oddly nostalgic about seeing you again on the battlefield.

Levi recognizes your usual battle stance; feet a shoulder’s width apart and hands tightly clutching the handles of your sheathed blades. You’re wearing the scouting regiment’s outdated white uniform, green cape hiding the leather straps your missing brown jacket usually would. He’s not surprised you’re not wearing your wings of freedom jacket, though; he was, after all, the one who sliced it in half during your escape with Zeke on the Cart Titan’s back. He hasn’t seen it, but he’s positive that a long scar runs down the length of your spine.

“Levi,” he hears you murmur, and he pretends that his heart doesn’t ache after hearing his name slip from your lips for the first time in four years. “I—... Levi,”

He feels his chest tighten. You still look as beautiful as he remembers you to be, and the fact that you still take his breath away is something he hates. It’s been a long while since he last stood on a battlefield with you. Only this time, there were no trees to swing from or titans to kill; no reassuring squeezes on the shoulder or cheeky kisses when no one was looking; no small smiles or stolen glances across the field as your horses galloped through Titan Country. No— this time, you wore different colors and fought on opposing sides.

“Levi, talk to me,” your tone is airy, said in what seemed to be a mixture of built up anticipation and disbelief. But there was something in your voice— something he couldn’t quite place. Was it relief? Longing, perhaps? Maybe even regret. But Levi pushes those thoughts aside in favor of gritting his teeth and giving his traitorous wife a stone cold stare. “Levi, talk to me, please.”

He refuses to reply. His hands are shaking from how hard he was gripping the handles of his blades, and he swears his heart was going to burst out of his untrimmed chest from how loudly it beat at his ribcage. There are about a million and one emotions swirling around his head— betrayal. anger. sadness. melancholy.

And he doesn’t know which one takes over him when he charges at you full speed.

There’s a grunt followed by the sound of metal clashing against metal, and Levi’s not surprised to see that your reflexes are still as sharp as they were before. His own cape whips in the wind when he turns to land another strike. But then he hears sound of your hooks digging into bricks, and he’s quick to take your little fight to the air in pursuit of you.

He knows he has to be at the plaza to save Eren’s ass but he also knows that he had at least seven minutes before he had to go. He’ll make this quick.

“Levi,” he hears you call out. You’ve led him further away from the plaza— maybe intentionally or unintentionally, he doesn’t know— and he’s only now realizing that you both stood on the side of a building, the hooks on your gears the only thing keeping you up. “My love—-”

“—don’t call me that,” his heart twitches and he sneers. It’s the first thing he’s said to you in years and god did you miss his voice, miss him in general. “Don’t you fucking dare call me that,”

“Levi,” you breathe, but the deep growl that escapes his lips is enough for your words to die in your throat.

“Stop,” he says. “You’ve lost the right to speak my name; you’ve lost the right to wear that cape,” his eyes land on the silver chain you wore around your neck, a gold ring hanging in the middle. It matched the one he had back home, the one he secretly held at night and kissed sorrowfully when he felt like breaking down. His voice is quieter, almost pained as he speaks, “you’ve lost the right to wear that ring. You’ve lost the right to even look me in the eye after what you’ve done.”

His words sting and your throat tightens when you once again remember the look of pure and utter betrayal in his eyes when you confessed you were a spy on behalf of the Marleyan government. The way he froze, hoping you were lying; yet the tears running down your cheeks and the apologies that slipped from your lips as you got down on your knees and begged him for forgiveness left no room for contest.

“Levi, we don’t have to fight, please just hear me out. I’m still the wife you loved—-“

“No,” he cuts you off. “My wife is gone. She died in the battle for Shiganshina.” your lip quivers, and he continues to speak. “You? You’re an enemy. You’re as good as dead to me.”

Your words once again die on your tongue when he charges at you, and you just barely manage to leap away. The edge of his blade scrapes against your thigh, and blood paints your trousers red when your feet land on the cobblestone streets.

Every attempt you make after, any attempts at conversation is silenced with a swift swing of Levi’s blades, almost as if he were seeking catharsis through violence.

You grit your teeth. “You’re never going to listen to me, are you?”

His silence and steely glare is all the answer you need, and you sigh. Your stance shifts, and the grip on your blades changes; you were finally taking an offensive stance, Levi notices. Blocking his blows wouldn’t be enough— you couldn’t reason with him no matter how hard you tried, and you couldn’t win with just defense. You had to outsmart him; you had to win. You had to.

“I’m sorry, levi, but losing isn’t an option for me. Not this time,” you murmur.

You didn’t want to fight him, he could see it in your eyes. But you were fighting for something, for someone more important than him. Your eyes— the first things he fell in love with, the ones that were usually fiery and full of life— are soulless, almost solemn when he sees you run at him full speed, and Levi pushes down the hurt he felt at the thought of you loving another as he charges at you too.

A tear silently falls down your cheek. You loved levi, but you loved him more. You were fighting for him, and he was waiting for you back at home.

There’s a grey little building in the Liberio Intermittent Zone, somewhere between the gates and the plaza. The gunshots and explosions just barely reach the drab building, and the smoke rising into the air is the only thing visible to the naked eye of the chaos unfolding at the plaza.

A Marleyan soldier, donned in white and war medals, stands in front of an open window. She’s got binoculars in her hands, and she peeks through the eye piece to watch as two figures fight. Their capes create shadows of black where they flutter, and their silver blades gleam in the moonlight.

She smirks. Your negotiation failed, just like she said it would, and now you had no choice but to fight to the death.

Good, she thinks, that Eldian scum’s doing her end of the bargain.

She leans back and a satisfied hum leaves her lips. She turns to look at the little boy, no more than four years old, sat on the bed. The red Eldian arm band clasped around his arm brings a grimace to the soldier’s face. She can’t believe she got stuck with babysitting some lowlife scum.

“Is mommy doing well?” he asks timidly. He doesn’t even know that you were out there about to murder a man, but the kid was smart; he at least knew your job carried a heavy weight.

“For now,” she replies. The boy’s jet black hair bounces slightly as he nods, and his slanted eyes are downcast, staring at the floor. His silvery grey orbs dare not make contact with hers.

The boy looked almost nothing like you— if anything, she was sure he looked to be the spitting image of his unknown father. Strong genes, the father must’ve had.

She finds amusement in how tense the boy was around her; at least his whore of a mother had the decency to teach the kid his place in the world. He was worse than an Eldian, the lowest of the low— he was half Paradis demon. He should’ve never been born. They should’ve beaten you to death along with your unborn child like she’d suggested when you came back from Paradis knocked up.

“You can kill me, but spare my baby, please.” she remembers you begging. “I didn’t even know i was pregnant. Not even the father knows.”

Still, maybe it was a good choice to keep both you and the demon child alive. As much as she hated to admit it, you were a skilled soldier— one of the best they’ve ever had. Threatening your life meant nothing to you, but threatening your child’s? All they had to do was suggest it, and you’d follow their commands like an obedient dog chasing after a dangling treat.

“When’s mommy going to come home?” the boy suddenly asks.

“Soon,” she replies, eyes once again gazing through her binoculars. “If your mother does her job well, she’ll be back soon.” There’s a telephone beside the soldier, ready to make the call should you ever stop fighting. A sniper awaits her signal.

“If she doesn’t... well,” she laughs. The door to the small room you called home is locked, and the loaded gun hidden in the soldier’s pocket is a weight she’s familiar with. “Do you believe in god?”

“No,” the boy shakes his head. “Who’s that?”

“Tell you what, kid. if your mother fucks this up, i’ll personally see to it that you meet him soon enough.”

alrightberries © 2020. do not modify or repost.

If you want to be added to the tag list, click this link!

[garrettandoscargirlsblog]

Starting Over ( On the Road TF crossover)

Summary: Here is the first part of this fic idea i previewed few days ago. Kudos to @artemiseamoon for inspiring me to watch on the road. Btw, yall need to watch the movie so you know what happened. Some sexy movie scenes. The plot is where Dean wonders the streets to find a warm place to warm up. Never thought he would meet  a familiar face. 

Dean is beside himself. Sal doesn't want to see him. In his mind he is all alone. No longer married. Haven't seen his daughters. As for family? Not wanting to think about that now. Sure his brother William said he would be there for him. Where was he? Oh yes. In the Army. Haven't heard from him since he retired. Walking around the town, and get warm.suddenly he hears music playing . Nothing he hasn't heard before. Good beat,and yet soothing. Going inside to see a familiar face at the bar. William is older, but still looks the same.  Blue eyes,and blonde hair.  Only thing different is a tattoo on his left arm. Sitting on a barstool . Clearing his throat, " Fancin seeing you here. Thought you be back in California. " Turning around, " why would I do that? Wanna be like you? Using people ? Not knowing you have people that love you. Have news for you.  I'm willing to help your sorry ass. Yeah I know all about it.  Sal has been my regular customer. " leaning against the counter. Practically in his brother's face," what did he say? I wanna know!" 

Will just had enough of his mouth. Tugging on Dean's arm. He looks at his other friend, " Mind the bar Frankie.  Need to talk to my brother. " Frankie nods, You got it man. Good luck with that." The waitress comes over to the bar. Looking at the direction Will went. Taking a breath, " Nothing to worry about Lizzy, by the looks of things? Things might get a wee bit hairy." 

Frankie was right. Things got hairy. Will reached upstairs to his apartment.  One of four. After pushing Dean inside the apartment.  Will slammed the door," Sit your ass down, and listen to me! I'm not gonna tell you nada till you explain something to me! Why would you leave Camille and your daughters?! They love you dammit! " Dean got up from the couch," Had my reasons! Wanna find our dad! Okay! Guess ya never thought about him! All you could think about is defending our country more than your family!" Rubbing his face.  Pacing around.  Will calms down, " let's get one thing straight.  I needed to leave. Need to make a new life for myself.  Thought you would join me,but noooo…  you want to be a bum! Answer to your question about finding dad? Check the graveyard. Yeah, he died in prison for the very thing you were doing with that 16 year old.  " 

Dean was in shock. No wonder no one ever told him the truth. Chest heaving," shit! For years of looking! All I could have done was to look you up. As for my mistakes.  Don't know if she wants to see me. " Will sit down on the other side of the couch. Looking at his brother, " never hurts to call her. Tell her how you feel.  Might take pity on your soul." Dean nods," I'll do that now. Not till you tell me what Sal said." 

That's something Will doesn't want to tell him. Doesn't want him to know who Sal has been seeing. Actually gonna marry.Marylou. She didn't marry the sailor. Her heart belonged to Sal. Taking a breath, " Sal felt alone. He needed you when he was sick. Then it dawned on  him that it was time to start over. Clean slate. Ment meeting new people. Ment letting go of how I can say this without hurting you. " Dean finally got the picture. Sal doesn't want to be around him anymore.  Taking a breath, " I'm gonna call Camille.  Can ya give me some privacy?" 

Meanwhile downstairs the bar comes to life again. The band played lively music. People dancing around enjoying themselves.  Lots of dancing and hollering.  Will comes downstairs to see his friend,  Santiago playing guitar. Singing songs he has written himself.  Lizzy leans against the counter next to Will," how did it go upstairs? Did you accomplish anything? " looking at her with loving eyes. Hugging her to his side," Told him about my father, and what Sal told me. Actually not the real reason why he doesn't want to see Dean. Want him to see from a different pair of eyes. Thinking about giving him a job here and a place to stay.  He could stay in the vacant room." Kissing his cheek as she goes to take more orders to the customers, " You are a good man Willam Moriarty. Glad I married you. " 

The call to Camille didn't end the way he wanted. She still wants to see him. Only if he cleans up. Have a steady job.  To him it would be a hard thing to do.  If he wants to see the babies ,and her again? He would do anything.  Heard noise downstairs. Same kind of music that was playing earlier. Venturing downstairs to see what was happening.  Sitting on the step watching everyone having a good time.  Especially a vision on the floor.  Dancing in a way he had never seen before.  So expressive. Her movements tell a story. 

" You must be Dean. " looking up to see an older man with dark hair with wavy hair. Sitting next to him, " I'm Frankie by the way.  Served with your brother.  One playing the guitar  is Santiago.  Ladies love him. A chick magnet. Will told me you are working here. There are some rules you need to know.  No weed here. Even in the apartment.  No prostitution. We are doing this for you. Want you to sober up." Dean sighs," Thanks. Wanna ask you somethin. Who is that girl near Santiago?" Frankie nods in that direction, " someone you shouldn't be around.  That's his baby sister. Nona. She is a firecracker. My advice? Stay away from her.  If you want to accomplish your goal. " 

Dean watches her move around the room.  Way she sways to the beat is like he does. More he watched, the more turned on he got. Sadly , the music ends. Lucky for him since she went outside to get some air. Naturally he followed her out. The boys and Lizzy see him leave. Knowing what might happen next.

[a03bkdk]

no quirks bkdk fic rec list (p 2)

thirsty gay wingman fic by lalazee

((smut-14130-1/1))

Oct 11, 2019 "Thinkin abt besties-since-birth BkDk goin to college together, Dk begrudgingly bein Bkg's wingman w/chicks & lamenting his big gay crush. One nite, Bkg cant get laid, hes drunk in a shitty mood, so Dk propositions him, which turns into the best night ever & the WORST consequences."

My tweet got 366 likes & 66 reblogs, so that was more than enough reason to write about it.

romeo and romeo by supercrunch

((10473-1/1))

There’s a nasally howl from the neighbour’s place. Izuku looks up – it’s the very loud, very blond guy living in the unit opposite. They’re technically in separate blocks but their balconies are close enough they can see into each other’s living rooms. He’s dancing around in his pyjamas. Yodelling at the top of his lungs off-key, swinging his Pomeranian around by the armpits like a furry ragdoll. “You’re a dog! You’re a fluffy little yellow dog and you’re a pain in the ass but you’re still my favourite shit-stain, yeah!”

Izuku bursts out laughing. The neighbour’s head whips around. He yelps when he sees him, tossing the dog on the couch and scrambling out of view to hide in the hall.

Izuku drops the watering can and runs back inside to find his phone.Small Might: Guys. I've decided i have a crush on my neighbour.

(quarantine baking: a balcony romance)

mechanical bull by warschach

((smut-27573-1/1))

Katsuki has a track record of bad choices, it's a condition, but Izuku might be the one choice that's right.

battle of the bands by roadtripwithlucifer

((smut-168158-26/26))

'The rules are simple. Battle of the Bands. Local bands send in a single track to the radio station, and ten tracks are selected. Over the coming month, the songs play on the station and listeners vote on the top five. The top 5 play a live concert as part of a music festival, then the top 3 at a larger, indoor venue. The top two have the honor of opening on the first stop of All Might’s retirement tour – here. In Izuku’s home town. And finally, the winner gets the ultimate prize. Getting to spend the rest of the tour, forty cities, across the country as All Might’s opener. Three months. Same tour bus. Shoulder to shoulder with the greatest musicians the world has ever known.'Izuku Midoriya is a broke college student presented with the opportunity of a lifetime. But winning isn't gonna be easy, especially when one band's aggressive blonde frontman seems to be dead-set on making Izuku's life a living hell.

oh my god! they were roomates! by phatye

((smut-79108-57/57))

“Don’t go through my shit, and if there’s a tie on the door, then fuck off!” Katsuki growled. “...what?” he asked. Katsuki glared at him. “This is fucking college, and I plan on getting laid a lot! I don’t need some nerd cockblocking me! And what is with all the fucking toys here!” Katsuki had moved over to his shelves. “Are you a fucking child or something?!” This was not what he was expecting.

shades of blue by young_crone

((smut-22525-1/1))

Echoes filtered down the white hall as he descended the stairs toward the locker rooms, reverberating from the pool. A whistle, the sound of breaking water. He swiped the towel over his face, paused. The sliver of cerulean catching the sinking sun pouring through the skylights, the red and white lane buoys, the burn of chlorine.Izuku ran a hand through his curls, snagging on a knot. The clock on the wall reminded him how late it was. A minute wouldn't hurt. He worried his lip. Just a glimpse.

k-9 by warschach

((smut- 18304-1/1))

Izuku takes in a stray on one rainy night, except it's not a dog, it's a dog shifter who goes by the name, Katsuki. After the initial wave of panic and embarrassment, Izuku thinks his new pet/roommate is pretty cute.

sucker punch by warschach

((smut-41551-1/1))

But, whatever, Disney Boy over there was—

Prettying up real damn good that Katsuki got kind of distracted—totally understandable, like god those CGI pine eyes—and didn’t see the straight path he made for the metal trash bin in the center of the area until he was tipping forward and waist deep in discarded bottles, plates, balled up tissues sticky with he prayed was chocolate ice cream and nacho cheese.

Mina howled behind the gate. “Look, Katsuki returned to his home.”

(or Katsuki works security at Six Flags and moonlights as a derby dude and continuously looks uncool around Izuku)

may I take your order, dipshit? by supercrunch

((6373-1/1))

So, like, maybe Bakugou wasn’t really the best choice for this whole pizza delivery shindig.

(Midoriya in love, Bakugou in denial, and way, way too much cheese.

A BakuDeku romance in thirty minutes or less. )

raise me so high (your sins become my pedestal) by stardust_painter

((smut-10804-2/2))

After his boyfriend cheats on him, Izuku wants to do something stupid. The question is how stupid does he want to be.

The answer is very stupid apparently.

eye for an eye or whatever by tobiyos

((smut-4049-1/1))

“I’ll make it up to you!” Izuku says brightly, lifting his head from Katsuki’s lap.

Katsuki’s eyes narrow but he isn’t still pushing Izuku away so. Progress. “Fuck are you gonna do to make it up to me?”

“Hmm…” Izuku says quietly, tapping at his chin. “Oh! You’re still a virgin, right?”

Katsuki chokes on his own spit and promptly renews his efforts of pushing Izuku away by the forehead. “Fuck off,” he wheezes, “get out of my room.”

leap of faith by ladyofsnails

((28771-4/4))

Midoriya Izuku is just a random kid who loves art, analyzes everything, and is obsessed with the (in)famous hero Mighty Spider. He's got a loving mother, a great uncle, and maybe not too many friends that aren't those two but he's working on it.

And then a random cute boy shows up at his school, a spider bites him, he meets his hero under the worst possible conditions, and it all goes to hell. Now he's got villains on his tail, a promise to keep to a dead guy, and a washed-up hobo as his mentor.

Here goes nothing.

green is the warmest color by gloriousporpoise

((smut-12287-2/2))

“Woah, someone call the fire department,” Eijirou says, elbowing Katsuki squarely in the ribs. “That guy is smokin.’”

“I literally hate you.”

Here’s the thing, though. Eijirou’s a certified dumbass, but his current observation isn’t even a little bit wrong, much to Katsuki’s displeasure.

“Think you can get his number?”

Or, Bakugou is a painter without a muse.

you and i collide by ethereals

((smut-20442-9/9))

And not that Bakugou’s the type to sexualize a potentially dead body; especially one that he just accidentally murdered, but the man has some pretty solid DSL’s. He would hit it, with more than just his car.

OR

in which rich fratboy! bakugou is a badass who accidentally hits poor med student!izuku with his car and chaos ensues therefore.

97.6 FM by jamjars

((smut-32249-3/3))

Izuku can’t stop listening to the radio host with the deep voice who sounds like he’s stuck in 2010. It’s a harmless crush. That is until he starts calling into the show under the pseudonym Deku.

Or Radio Host! Baugou x Listener! Midoriya

give me that sweet love by xsxuxgxax

((smut-32768-9/9))

Things Katsuki needs to excel at: be hot, be clever and pretend to be nice, let Izuku kiss him publicly, let Izuku fuck him privately…

(sugar baby katsuki and sugar daddy izuku pretty much)

dance with me by astralchaos

((30161-10/10))

Mina pulled up a video of a young man, seemingly teen, dancing to a popular new hit, and Izuku felt his heart drop to his stomach. His skin prickled and felt clammy as he started sweating nervously, not daring to move or make a noise. His eyes were glued to the screen but he didn’t see anything – his brain was too busy going into overdrive and freaking out.

Because Mina was showing him a video of himself. The one he uploaded last night.

How on Earth did she find this? He had barely a few thousand views, he wasn’t popular, and it’s not like he was even any good, especially compared to her or Kacchan–

“That move was sexy as hell,” Kacchan said, and that was when Izuku realized that his childhood friend – his longtime crush – also leaned in to watch the video Mina was showing him.

puppies puppies by Esselle

((15491-2/2))

"So after doing all that," Katsuki says, "you're just going to settle here? Tatting up wannabe bad boys?"

"You think all guys who have a lot of tattoos are wannabes?" Midoriya asks, so smoothly that it throws Katsuki.

"Wh—no, I mean—maybe!" Katsuki says. "You'd know best, wouldn't you? Are you a bad boy?"

The words are out of his mouth before he even realizes it, and he regrets them immediately. There's a figurative list of things that one should never do, and probably high up on it is asking dark-haired sailors with ocean green eyes and black swirls of ink all across their barely concealed muscles if they are bad boys.

--

Katsuki thinks he has everything he needs in life: a successful pet shop, an occasionally reliable assistant, and the unconditional love of the twenty puppies he’s raising for adoption. But when the tattoo parlor next door hires Midoriya Izuku, a hot sailor with an affinity for dogs, it makes Katsuki wonder if he might need something more.

Like… a piece of that ass. Maybe. He’s figuring it the hell out as he goes.

im gonna make a part 3 later ergaegrggjnjuvuh

[hangezoeenthusiast]

Totem of Undying

gn!reader

person: c!technoblade

word count: 1,852

warnings: blood, yelling, cursing, failed execution (art not mine, SAD-ist on youtube)

One day, you were pacing across Techno’s floor, wearing out the carpet, wondering were he was. He was gone for 9 days, and normally he isn’t out for that long.

He specifically said before his little expedition, “I won’t be gone long, I just got to get something for Phil.” “Ok, have fun honey.” you said, not looking up at him from your book. “You’re sure you don’t need anything?” he asked, trying to find a way to spend a little more time with you before he left. “Yeah, I’m sure, just tell Phil that I said hi.”

“Ok, bye my Aphrodite.”

Ever since, you haven’t gotten any messages on the comms, no messenger birds from him, or any sign of communication between the piglin hybrid and you.

“If he was going to Phil, then I should call Phil.” you murmured under your breath. How could you forget, he said he was going to get something for Phil, so he must be with him.

You looked for you phone, and called Phil’s number. “Hello, who is this?” replied on the other side of the phone. “Phil, is this you, I need to talk to you.”

“Oh hey Y/n, how are you doing?” “Not particularly well, um I have a question, is Techno there, he isn’t answering my calls.”

"Umm, well, he isn't here right now." he states, regret lacing his words. "Well where is he, it's urg-" Phil cut you off, "Y/n, you don't know?"

"What do you mean Phil?"

"I don't wanna say this, but he got captured by the Butcher Army." "Are you fucking kidding me, when he get caught?" you questioned. "IThey came to your house a few days ago, didn't you see them?" "No, I don't think so."

Then you suddenly remembered, “I think they might have came to our house. I was on a trip to get some spider eyes, so I guess that’s when they came over and got Techno.”

“Yeah, they haven’t come back yet, they tried to interrogate me, but I said no, and then they put an ankle monitior on me.” “They decided that if I wasn’t going to tell them anything, they would confine me to my house.”

You apologized to him, “I’m sorry Phil, hopefully you get that off soon enough.” “It’s fine Y/n/n, right now, what I’m concerned about is Techno. The Butcher Army built something, it’s a little cage with an anvil, I watched them build it, but it was kinda vague to me.” "I'm coming to L'Manberg Phil, I'll be there in a hour or so." "Ok, be safe."

-

You arrived in L'Manberg, looking for Phil's house. "Hey Y/n." he spoke. "Right back at you Phil, how are you doing today?" "I'm doing eh, I'm just worrying about Techno." "Me too, hopefully he turns up soon."

So then you stayed with Phil for a while, drinking tea and talking about random stuff. You were trying to buy your time until Techno popped up somewhere, preferably unharmed.

“Yeah Phil, there was-” Hooves stomped on grass, triumphant talking covering every sound outside. The people that cut you off was the Butcher Army, who was boasting their victory over their fight with Technoblade.

Techno, blood all over his skin, bruises on his face, barely showing any sign of his true skin tone. Chains rapping all over his body so he wouldn't escape. You felt devastated, what had they done to him? Behind them was Quackity riding Carl, holding him hostage so Techno couldn't escape on his steed. "What did they do to you?" you whispered under your breath.

They led Techno to the stage, when he looked up at you and Phil, suprise basking his face. "PHIL, PHIL, WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU PHIL, Y/N, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yelled from under you guys. "I'M FINE TECHNO, THEY PUT AN ANKLE MONITOR ON ME." Phil screamed back.

They dragged him away from the house, bringing him onto the stage. "LEAVE PHIL AND Y/N ALONE YOU HEAR ME, LEAVE THEM ALONE." he retaliated. They locked him in the cage, where he was waiting his impending doom.

"Technoblade, this is actually not a trial, if you look up, you can see an anvil hanging down. When we press that lever down there, what it's going to do is drop on you and it's going to fucking kill you."

After Quackity's little statement, he demanded Tubbo to explain to everyone what was happening, but what they didn't know was that there was an ally, or friend of Techno's that would help him sooner or later.

After Tubbo spoke about how Techno betrayed the country, and how he had to pay for his wrongdoings, Punz swooped in, throwing snowballs to distract the Butcher Army. With his armor clad self, he started to attack them, momentarily trying to buy time for Techno. He splashed potions all around himself and the Butcher Army.

Then he started to load up the stage with unlit TnT, sending a warning to the Butcher Army not to fuck with him. Quackity yelled in scaredness, hoping that Punz wouldn't light the TnT. "PUNZ, PUNZ, CHILL THE FUCK OUT PUNZ, CALM DOWN." Quackity begged. He didn't stop, and that lead to the whole Butcher Army attacking him with their axes.

While they were chasing Punz, they didn't realize that he slipped Techno a totem of undying. That's right, one of the only things that can prevent death if someone was to kill someone else. So when Punz left the scene, and Ghostbur came to the stage to secretly tell Techno that he named his sheep "Friend", they started to prepare for execution.

"Ok, no more, I'm pulling this fucking lever." Quackity stated. And there is was, he pulled the lever, and the anvil went crashing down on Techno's head. But Quackity didn't know that he had a totem of undying in his hand, so when the anvil came down on Techno, there was a flurry of green and yellow sparks all around him, protecting him from his death.

During the little show, Techno escaped the iron cage, and ran for his life. The Butcher Army was confused, why did Technoblade die, he was supposed to perish, right?

He ran to the little hole in the ground, and was meet by Dream, riding Carl. Dream started to block up the hole, while Techno rode Carl to victory. As he rode Carl, he reached a control room, where there was chests filled with stuff for specific people. There was Eret's, Tubbo's, his, and many others.

He looted his chest, put iron armor on, and started to prepare for his journey. He splashed potions onto his body, giving him strength for a few minutes, and swiftness. When he realized that the pathway wasn't large enough for both him and Carl, he started to break blocks so he and Carl wouldn't suffocate in the walls.

While he was doing that, Quackity sneaked up behind him, taking him by suprise. “Techno, you’re not leaving this place, how didn’t you die?”

“None of your business Quackity, how about you leave me alone.”

“You’re my business Techno, and as long as you’re alive, this server is going to go to shit.” And this the fight began, Techno only donning a pick axe for a weapons, and iron armor, and Quackity, with full netherite and all the tools you could ever need for a fight.

Their weapons clashed together into a disgusting sound. “I’M GOING TO DEFEAT YOU TODAY TECHNOBLADE.” shouted Quackity, thinking he was going to win. “NOT A CHANCE.” Techno answered.

Quackity was clearly arrogant in this matter, even though he had the good stuff, and Techno had the shitty stuff that would be easily broken, he forget something. He forgot that he didn’t have technique, and Techno was the great night Blood God. Technoblade could’ve easily, if he wanted to, take down an entire village.

But he didn’t, and that’s what Quackity didn’t realize. Yes, Techno did some shitty things in the past, but he declared that he was going to retire from the fighting, from everything that related to violence. It wasn’t necessary to try to execute him.

So when the final swing hit, Quackity with his ego to a high capacity, at almost half a heart, Techbo easily defeated and killed Quackity, taking one of his canon lives.

-

You paced across the wooden floor for 10 minutes. “Phil, is Techno ok, where is he, why isn’t he here right now, Phil-” you cut yourself off, “Phil, is he dead?” “No he isn’t Y/n/n, I know Techno, he’s still alive, trust me.” he assured you, trying to comfort your thoughts, but it wasn’t getting to you.

Techno had to be dead, an anvil fell on him. “But what was the green and yellow sparks, what was the reason for that?” you thought. Was that a distraction, or was it something more significant.

“Phil, are you sure he’s-” he interrupted you with a shush. “Do you hear that?” he asked, not sure what’s was happening outside of his home. “No, I don’t, what’s wrong?” “Stay here Y/n.” he ignored your question.

He sneaked toward the door, trying to quiet his footsteps. He slowly opened the door, looked around, and saw Techno standing there, covered in bloody armor. “Holy shit Techno, what are you doing here, they could come any minute.”

“I need Y/n for a second.” he calmly said, trying to ease Phil’s nerves. “Mate, what about the Butcher-”

“I killed their leader.” “Heh?” “I killed Quackity, unfortunately it isn’t permanent.” he sighed. “Ok, first of all, weirdchamp, and secondly, please come inside, you’re worrying me right now.”

Phil let Techno in, and offered him a cup of tea. “No thanks Phil, so back to what I was saying, where is Y/n?” “Oh, they’re in the back, I thought you were someone else.” “Thanks.”

He stepped towards the direction you were in, and opened the door to find a frantic, worried Y/n. He put his body on the doorframe nonchalantly, “You missed me?” You turned around from your pacing, and looked at Techno, relief coating your eyes, “TECHNO.”

“Y/n.” he replied. You hurriedly walked to Techno, and gave him a bone-crushing hug. “Oh my goodness I’ve missed you so much, why did you have to leave, I don’t want you to die, fuck Quackity and the rest of them...” You rambled on and on about how the Butcher Army should be convicted, and a whole bunch of other things, when Techno cut you off, “Calm down my Aphrodite, I’m back, and that’s all that matters.”

"Ok, well are you hurt anywhere, Phil has some healing pots as well as some bandages." "I'm fine, but are you ok, did they hurt you?" he put his hand on your shoulders. "I'm ok, they didn't acknowledge me."

"Well, I'm glad that was the case."

You severely hugged him again, "Please never leave without me, I don't want this happening again."

"Never Y/n, never."

[slashxrose]

Surprise, love -Duff Mckagan-

Title: Surprise, Love.

Warnings: explicit content. 

Summary: I don’t use to do summary of my stories, y’all is gonna love it anyway; enjoy. 

Dirty reading~

Duff Mckagan is the last person I expect to see on my doorstep, wet from the San Francisco mist, a faded green duffle bag at his feet.

Even years removed my heart still clutches at the sight of his hair, the boyish grin on his face. The smile doesn’t reach his eyes the way it used to, but I’m not able to catch much more of him before he’s pulling me into a bear hug and lifting me off the ground.

To put you all in context, Duff was my best friend ... and the best boyfriend someone could ever had, for most of my life, he was my neighbour when we were just born, little kids, getting to know each other from there and living a whole life together; I watched from when his first tooth fell out to when he had to take his first flight to go with the band to San Francisco, the place where I currently live now.

It surprises me, and it shocks me to see him, so changed after so many years, so many years without looking him in the eye, without knowing anything about him; today he is finally here, standing in front of me.

Trying not to break down in tears the emotions hit my being in a wave; remembering the day he left me at the airport and then never see him again; exactly in 1991, after his great "Use your illusion." I never heard from him again.

“Babe,” he breathes, I press my face into his neck, a laugh bubbling up out of my throat, “I missed you.”

“Yeah,” I manage.

I can feel my eyes pricking because I have missed him, too much. We’ve kept up as much as we could over the years, but with him overseas and my steadily making my way around the country, it had gotten difficult. I haven’t heard from him in a few months, and I haven’t seen him in a few years – probably eight, if I think about it. Instead of thinking about it, though, I wrap my arms tight around him and try not to let myself cry at the feeling of him engulfing me.

“I missed you too, Duff.”

I get him up to my apartment and let him settle onto my couch before I ask him any questions, mainly because I can’t quite find my voice and I can’t believe Duff is in my apartment, right now. He beats me to the punch, settling back into my couch and peeking over at me in the kitchen.

“This place is really nice.”

I nod, filling a glass up with water for him and then looking up at him, a smile on my lips.

“It’s alright,” I shrug, shutting off the tap and making my way over to the couch, handing it to him before I sit down, one leg tucked beneath me. “I got lucky.”

Duff sips the water and looks around, shaking his head. My apartment is nice – it’s got floor to ceiling windows and sleek, modern appliances and a killer view of the Golden Gate Bridge.

“Not luck,” he shrugs. “You deserve it, you worked your ass off for this place.”

I swallow, smiling over at him and feeling my cheeks flush – in part, because he’s right, and in part, because he’s wrong.

“Duff,” I laugh my voice soft. I tuck some hair behind my ear and looks up at him. “How’d you find me?”

Duff shrugs, setting the water glass down on my coffee table and turning to face me, leaning his arm over the back of my couch.

“I went home, first...talked to your mom, she gave me your address for if I ever wound up out west. Figured,” he shrugs, laughing, “It’d be more of a surprise if I didn’t tell her I already knew I was coming out this way.”

I shake my head, pressing my fingertips to my face.

“Oh god… I cannot believe my mum did that after all the things I told her, honestly.” I sigh, dropping my hand and raising my brow. “So, she didn’t know you were coming out here...but you did?”

Duff nods.

“Yes, I did… I’ve gotta come back to the hotel in a couple of hours… We’re flying to Europe, we’re gonna start a new tour I guess, we don’t really know, but I figured I could make a stop before I check into my hotel.” I swallow, watching his fingers flex against the couch cushion.

“Another tour?” I raise my brows. “You’ve been on tour the last eight years.”

“That’s what happens when you’re a famous rockstar babe, you never stop….” he laughs, his voice low. “I’m thinking I’ll be out here a bit, actually, trying to convince the boys to stop a little, I want to see you more often.” I try not to let my reaction show on my face, but this is Duff, so I know I’m not exactly subtle.

I chew on the inside of my cheek as I think about it, about Duff, just half an hour away instead of across the world.

“Wow,” I breathe, smiling over at him. “I’d get to see you, then?”

“If you want to,” Duff shrugs, and I roll my eyes at him, reaching over and swatting at his arm.

We cover the basics with his hand on my knee: I moved to San Francisco alone, I work for a newspaper, and I’m a runner now. He’s been back on tour and he’s not going to go so far away again, and he’s thinking about stop touring a little bit.

Wow.

I slide my hand over his and look down at it, brushing my thumb against the back and humming softly as I look up at him, a smile on my lips.

“So you’re telling me,” I say, my voice soft, “you’re a big enough deal the boys to stop touring, what they’re supposed to be doing?”

Duff rolls his eyes, glancing down to our hands and then back up to mine, his gaze soft. I try to focus on anything other than the look in his eyes and settles on his mouth, chewing on the inside of my cheek, because I know it’s a mistake immediately. Bad things tend to happen when I look at Duff Mckagan’ mouth.

“I’m telling you I could do it,” he shrugs, and I watch intently as he runs his tongue over his lower lip, his fingers pressing lightly against my leg. “We’ll find out, I guess; Steven’ planning to go to rehab…” He probably saw my intrigued face, so he immediately keeps talking. “I’ll tell you in a bit about it.” He smiles at me and I nod. “Slash has two little annoying but cute kids… so he’s gonna be busy with that, and Izzy… Well Izzy fucking left the damn band, so there’s no problem with him.”

I nod, feeling my lips shift into a soft smile, Wow, it’s surprising how everything changed since the last time I saw him, every one of them were idk… almost 30 years old, playing and joking around, being drunk and high as fuck, I never… I mean, we never thought that the band was gonna become this famous.

“Well,” I say, “I’m happy for you, Duff. You’re all grown up.”

Duff laughs, pulling his hand from my leg and rubbing his hand over his jaw slowly, swallowing.

“We’re both grown up, honey,” he chuckles, and I let myself meet his gaze. I stuck in a slow breath, feeling how heavy his eyes are on mine, letting the feeling wash over me easily. “Easy to see that, right?”

I nod and sit up a bit, settling my hand on Duff’s forearm, brushing my thumb slowly against his skin.

“Easy,” I say my voice barely above a whisper. “Too easy.” I don’t know why sitting here with him like this makes me feel like I could cry.

I squeeze my eyes shut, sighing out a slow breath and tightening my grip on his arm.

“I really missed you. I know we,” I shake my head, “I know we covered that, kind of, but...god, Duff.” I swallow, heavy, keeping my eyes shut so I don’t have to look at him as the words tumble out of my mouth, “I really didn’t know if I would ever see you again, you know? No matter how safe you told me you were, you almost had a fucking overdose… too much alcohol, too much shit.”

Duff doesn’t say anything, but I feel him shifting on the sofa. I feel him scooting closer to me. His breath wisps over my skin, and I feel like I might be shaking. I should stop him – I knows I should, I knows it’s the right thing to do with all of us history, all of the feelings that stretch out between us – but there’s an ache in my chest that I don’t think will let me. I squeeze his forearm, holding onto it with my fingers and hear myself let out a soft noise as his nose touches mine.

“Babe,” he murmurs, and I nod, my eyes still squeezed shut. “I’m good; you don’t have to worry anymore.”

“I know,” I breathe out, and I slide my hand off his arm and slip my fingers into his hair. I pulling him towards me, kissing him in the way I had imagined doing for years, for a lifetime, even. I’d never kissed him like this, so tender and slow, so intentional, so full. I whine into it, feeling tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

It feels like my heart is whole, even for just a moment.

Duff’s always been the boy I turned to when I was hurting, always been the person who knew me the best, who could make me feel good. This, though, is different – this kiss isn’t sweet, childhood tenderness, its gut wrenching in the most wonderful way. My stomach twists into a knot and then settles as his arm wraps around my waist, my ears rush harshly as his tongue moves against mine, my heart pounds in my chest as I feel both of our cheeks, touch against each other.

This is Duff, the man, safe in his arms, telling me he’s here, telling me I’m his. He hasn’t said it, but I can tell...I can tell from the way he’s kissing me that this was him, standing on her doorstep, asking me to let him in and keep him.

For tonight, at least, I can do that.

I crawl into his lap and press my fingers into his hair, my thumbs dragging along his face, my breathing ragged against his skin.

“Duff,” I whisper, brushing my lips against his, “I have a bed.”

Duff’s breathing is possibly more laboured than my own as he slips his hand beneath the back of my t-shirt, his fingertips pressing lightly into my skin.

“I assumed,” he mumbles, his mouth praying for mine, “This is a big apartment.”

I nod in a smile, grinning against his lips;

“Want to,” I tip my face down, my forehead pressed to his as I move slowly in his lap, my lips just out of his reach, “take a look at it?”

Duff lets out a low laugh, nodding and mumbling,

“Smooth,” against my mouth as he keeps his arm locked around my waist. He stands up, lifting me with him, I wrap my legs around him as he settles me in his grip.

I direct him to the bedroom, settling my feet down on the ground and swallowing as my eyes fall on a picture frame settled on my nightstand.

“Shirt,” I breathe, looking at Duff, who’s sitting on the edge of her bed, staring at me with a dazed smile on his lips, “shirt off, rockstar.” He lets out a low laugh, and I takes a moment to flip the picture frame face down while his shirt is obstructing his view, then tugs at the hem of my own shirt before taking a step forward, pulling it off as I stations myself between his legs.

I settle my hands on his bare shoulders, dragging my hands down along his skin slowly, then moving it back up and cupping his face in my hands. I slide my thumb over his lower lip and hiccups, chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“God,” I whisper, letting my eyes move over his face, taking him in. I’d never felt so full before. My vision blurs as I watch him, feels his hands settle over my waist.

He had changed, years without seeing him… without feeling him, I missed his touch, his kisses, I missed him so bad.

“Honey,” he says, and his voice has that lilt to it – the what are you crying for lilt, and I don’t have an answer. I bit down on my lower lip, shaking my head and trying to stop myself. His hand reaches up to my cheek and I lean into his touch, feeling my tears seep onto his skin.

I want to tell him...about the photo, about the man in the photo, about the way their timing is truly, continually, terrible. Instead, I lean my face down and kiss his palm, swallowing hard as I hear his own breath going wet.

“Come here,” he says, his voice thick, low.

I don’t need him to say it twice. I crawl into his lap and he shifts them back onto the bed, his hands moving shakily along my skin.

He flips them and undresses me carefully, his eyes moving over every new part of me as it becomes exposed. He unhooks my bra and pulls it slowly down my arms, unbuttons and unzips my jeans and tugs them over my hips, hooks his fingers into the waistband of my panties and tugs at them, slowly, his lips pressing to my stomach as he does, the gasp tearing from my throat involuntary, I swear.

Something in my brain tugs, that I should be embarrassed, being so naked in front of this man who’s known me for my entire life, but no. I can’t be, with the way he’s looking at me, with the adoration and want in his eyes. I let my hands slide along his arms, breathing slowly as he looks at me, takes me in, and then I settle my fingers against his belt buckle.

“I can’t be the only one naked here, baby,” I say, my voice soft, and the smile on his lips is so soft that I feel my cheeks flush.

I unbuckle his belt shakily, watching as he gets himself out of his pants, pushes off his boxers. I bites on my lower lip at the sight of him, half-hard for me, then drags my eyes up to his face, smiling at the way his cheeks are flushed. I sit up a little, wrapping my hand around him gently, dragging my fingertips lightly along his length and shutting my eyes, leaning my forehead against his chest because I don’t think I can take the look on his face, the pure emotion rippling through him.

“Fuck,” he bites out, and his hand slides to the back of her neck, his thumb dragging along the base of it slowly. His voice is shaky when he says my name, and I twist my wrist slowly, smiling as I feel him growing harder in my hand.

Yes, honey, I know you like this.

He shifts my back on the bed, pressing my legs apart so he can settle between them and leaning down to kiss me, drawing his tongue slowly over my lower lip as his thumb drags over my inner thigh. The mixture of sensations has me shaking, already, and he hasn’t even touched me where I want him to yet.

He’s gentle with me, at first. His fingers press lightly against my wet folds, testing the waters, working slowly as I breathe out heavy sighs to keep myself calm.

He’s driving me crazy.

His lips press over my collarbone lightly, dragging against my skin slowly as he dips a finger into me, then another. He hums against the hollow of my neck as his thumb circles my clit lightly, and I feel my hips lifting off the bed to find more of him, knowing he isn’t giving it to me yet.

“Oh god-” I groaned.

I come apart on his fingers, shakily, one of my hands gripped tightly into his hair. His mouth is on my neck and I whine, searching for his face.

“I need you.” I breathe, and he lifts his head slowly, grazing his lips over mine.

“You keep driving me crazy as the first day we met.” he murmurs.

I stop him, slipping my tongue into his mouth. I can’t hear him, like this, not right now. I need him to fuck me, need him, before I get too rational and stop him entirely.

This is too much, I can feel it – I’m going to break the both of us, but I can’t possibly end it before I feel him, before I know what it’s like to have him inside me, again.

“Duff,” I moaned against his mouth, lifting my hips and hooking a leg around his waist, trying to pull him closer. “I need you.”

He nods, slow, just once, and I love him for it. I love that he isn’t trying to tease this out, that he’s listening to me, that we both want this so badly that dragging it along isn’t appealing at all. I slide my hands up to his face, holding it and keeping my eyes on him, my heart still hammering. He locks eyes with me as I feel his tip pressing at my entrance, and I suck in a hard breath, watching his face.

He cracks the softest smile, and I feel my resolve breaking.

“Duff,” I breathe, my voice full, my eyes stinging, “please.”

I want him in a way I can’t understand – it’s something about the way he knows me, I think, absently, as his eyes trail over my face, down my body.

It’s about the way he held my hand when I fell off the jungle gym and broke my arm when we were six, it’s about the way he shoved an old friend of mine for calling me a bitch when we were eleven, it’s about the desperate way he kissed me back in her car when we were sixteen, it’s about the way he made me and makes me feel right now. It’s about the fact that he’s the same Duff he’s always been, but something else altogether, too. The boy I’ve always known, and the man I’ve always wanted, hovering above me, about to make me his, even when I belong to someone else.

But I didn’t care.

One of his hands brushes my cheek, and I slide my own to press over his, to keep him there. I hold his gaze as he pushes into me, slow, filling me. I let out a soft laugh, turning my face into his hand and rolling my hips.

“Please,” I murmur against his skin, “I want to feel you, Duff.”

He’s slow, but not in a torturous way. His eyes stick on mine as he rocks his hips into mine, as the fingers of his free hand trail along my leg, over my hip, tracing little shapes. I feel him, all of him, and my legs tighten around his hips to keep him as close as I can. His strokes are long, deep, and I know neither of us is going to last long, regardless of the speed.

“As my queen commands.” Duff softly replied, smirking before kissing my lips deeply as he thrust deep inside me.

The sudden feeling of being filled with a cock as big as him made me cry out in pleasure breaking the kiss as my back arched, I felt his fingers holding my hips lightly, making the movements to go harder. His own groans of pleasure mixed with mine as they filled the room, he started to move slowly, taking his time as our lips re-joined together with our tongues dancing and warping round each other, as our hands roamed each other’s bodies just feeling blindly in a that need to be close.

I feel my walls constricted around him, he started to move faster and found that bundle of nerves that made me touch the sky with my hands, his moans made an echo in my ear, they were loud, he was really enjoying this, making me instantly lose all the control, all sense of who and where I was, right now it was just the two of us; the world outside didn't matter, the day ahead didn't matter everything I can focus on was in him and nothing was going to stop that.

“Oh shit babe, yes.- ” I moaned. “Keep doing that oh god-” I wrapped his curlers in my fingers holding him, his thrusts collided with my body causing a lack of control in all my senses, damn I had missed this.

His movements were wild and erratic but so perfect precise, he knew all the right buttons to press. I open my eyes again to see him above me, his face the clear picture of pleasure and need, I never had seen anyone become so desperate and undone for me. A man like him with such talent showing a side of himself only to me that so few ever got to see, but in truth he would only ever truly become this undone and this vulnerable for me.

My hands slid down from his hair, trailing down his back across his slightly sweating skin as they found that perfect ass of his. His lips moving to my neck again as tears of happiness, love and pleasure fell.

“Oh my sweet babe.” Duff moaned shakily as he continued thrust deep into me, all I could do was cry out with pleasure and need.

“Oh Duff I love you.” I gasp thrusting up to meet his own movement's.

He’s nothing like I’ve ever felt, before – there’s something about the presence of him, of his body over mine, of his eyes watching me, his breath mixing with my own.

“Babe,” he breathes, his face tipping down, his lips finding mine. I sat up a bit, my hips shifting to meet his, to hit at a new angle. I weave my fingers into his curly hair and grips onto it as I kiss him, our tongues pressed together as I feel the heat pooling in my stomach, knows I’m closer than I’d even like to admit.

His hand moves from my leg to dip between them, pressing against my clit slowly, tracing over my nerves delicately before finding a pattern. I can tell he’s close, too, his breathing getting heavier, his thrusts more erratic.

“C’mon babe” I murmur against his mouth, “I want to feel you, Duff, I want to know what you feel about me.” my words fade into a whine as I feel him pressing more firmly to my clit, rolling it between his fingers.

I come hard, around him, feeling him spill into me moments later, our moans mixing together as he presses me down into the mattress.

“Oh damn.” He moans loudly in my ear.

We lay still, for a long while. I scratch sleepily at the back of his neck, Duff start kissing my neck softly as we cling to each other, trying to calm down. He pulls out of me slowly, smiling to himself as I groan at the loss, and I hum as he lays back down, still pressing his weight down against me.

“You’re not allowed to go anywhere,” I whisper, my lips pressed against the side of his head, “until I say so.”

Duff nods. “Got it, you’re in charge,” he murmurs, “so nothing’s really changed, huh?”

I laugh, but I feel the pang in my chest, knowing the truth – because yes, almost everything really has changed, and he doesn’t even know the half of it.

I must fall asleep, because when I woke up it’s dark outside and I hear him moving around...somehow, I just knew in that moment that he knows, now. I sit up slowly, pulling the sheets to my chest and pressing my hand over her face.

“Duff?”

He pokes his head out of the bathroom and smiles at me softly. When he steps through the door, he’s got his boxers on, and I feel my heart clench in my chest.

“What’s his name, babe?” He sits on the edge of the bed and pull my hand from my face, lacing his fingers with mines. “He’s got some nice pomades, in there...expensive.”

“Duff,” my voice is hollow, I look up at him with pleading eyes. “I can explain all of this, okay?”

He nods, brushing his thumb over mine.

“I know,” he swallows, his voice thick. “What’s his name?”

I sigh out a breath and casts my eyes upwards, trying not to cry.

“Daniel…” I answer, quietly. “We’ve been...I moved in a few months ago, but it’s been a little over a year.”

I don’t let myself close my eyes, making myself look at him as he swallows, processing my words and looking around the room.

“You love him?”

“Duff,” I don’t know how to answer that question, not right now.

He’s been away for a while, and came here making me feel lost and complete at the same time, now I don’t even know where or who I am.

“Does he make you happy, hun? That’s,” he lets out a soft, wet laugh, “that’s really...what I’m asking you.” I nod, looking down at our hands. “Good.”

“I didn’t,” I croak, and I hate myself for it. “I didn’t know when you...if you,” I shake my head. “I didn’t know, Duff. I didn’t know if I...if–,”

“I didn’t want you waiting for me,” he supplies, shaking his head and looking at me, straight on. “I’m glad you didn’t, I... I slept with a lots of girls too… I can’t blame you for this.”

I feel desperate, scoots myself closer to him and settles a hand on his cheek.

“I’m not,” I breathe, wanting to press my face to his and hesitating. “You’re here, now, Duff.”

Duff nods, and bridges the gap. He presses his forehead against mine, finding my eyes.

“I’m not leaving,” he says, his voice low. “I told you,” he swallows, “I’m not gonna go away without you next time. If I convince the boys…damn.”

I nod.

“And I’ll be here,” I murmur. “But someone else is gonna be here with me…”

He shuts his eyes, squeezing my hand.

“For now,” he shrugs, “and maybe for good, but,” he opens his eyes and looks at me, fully.

My feels tear pooling in my eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere. I...I believe in this, babe. I wouldn't be here if I didn’t.”

I take a long breath, nodding slowly. I realize he doesn’t mean here, my apartment – he means here, in San Francisco...that he wouldn’t be considering this job if it wasn’t for me. I understand his meaning, here: I’m in charge.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and he shakes his head, but I stop him. “No, I should’ve told you.”

“His shoes were by the door, babe, I saw them.” he says, his voice soft. “I’m not an idiot.”

I feel something break in me, and I find Duff’s mouth, kissing him softly.

“God,” I laugh, my voice low, my lips pressed to his, “we really can’t get it right, huh?”

Duff kisses me, soft and slow, his tongue tracing my lip before he pulls away. He stands up from the bed and I watch, my eyes wide and soft as he moves around, grabbing his clothes and pulling them on.

“To be determined,” he decides, as he’s buckling his belt.

I chew on my cheek, getting out of bed and finding my robe. I wrap it around me and follows him out into the living room, watching as he grabs his duffel bag.

“You can stay,” I say, my voice hoarse, and he looks over his shoulder at me, shaking his head.

“I won’t leave,” he swallows, and I shut my eyes for a moment at his words. I nod.

“Okay,” I whisper. “So when will I see you?”

Duff sighs out a breath as he pulls the bag over his shoulder, then wraps his arm around my waist. He walks me over to the door before he pulls me against him, leaning his face down, kissing me softly.

“I’ll be here another week,” he says, his voice low, “and then...depending on things, I’ll be here for good. So,” he finds my eyes, “up to you, okay? You call me.”

I nod, my head spinning.

“Don’t disappear on me, okay?” I beg.

He shakes his head, softly, kissing me lightly.

“Promise, I won’t.” He replies.

I feel him pull his arms away, and I wrap my own around myself so I don’t do something stupid, like pull him back into my bedroom. I watch as he grabs the doorknob, opening the door and taking a step through it.

“Call me when you get to your hotel?”

He nods, leaning down and kissing me gently.

“I will,” he breathes against my mouth.

By the time I open my eyes, he’s gone. My phone buzzes on the kitchen island and my heart drops, but when I flip it over, it’s Duff.

‘Miss you already, you know that?’

I press it to my chest and shut my eyes, taking deep breaths – in part, to calm down, and in part, because I did.