#steve was clearly traumatized and out of his mind on that beach

[trickster-archangel]

Katya nailing the problem keenly as ever:

You know what's at the core of everything? They were both coming from a series of devastating experiences that had torn their lives and families apart: Grace Tillwell and the divorce for Danny, Freddie and John dying because of Steve, and of course being both strangers on an island which is still alien to Danny and has become such to Steve. Without close friends, without love, without trusted confidants, without family, barely treading water and surviving the deep waters trying to swallow them.

They met at that turning point where they could've become resentful, inhuman, dark and bitter. And instead they became each other's purpose, their goal, their meaning, their everything. They built a home in each other. They became each other's home and family. Steve stayed after Wo Fat's death, and Danny stayed even when Grace left, because at this point it wasn't a matter of whom they'd chosen to come to Ohau anymore: it was a matter of whom they'd chosen to stay for.

[clynnra]

Strongest Together

After that disappointing last ten minutes of the series finale, I didn't think I would ever write for my beloved boys again. But, thanks to binging lots of episodes of the show on ion since it started airing there (happy to post this story on one of ion's Five-O Fridays) and reading many fix-it fics, I had to do this for Danny. I will be forever bitter that our last glimpse of him ever was hurt (physically and emotionally) and alone on Steve's beach. So this is my way of fixing that sad image. There's background (literally, just a few minor mentions) Steve/Catherine and Danny/others, but this is a McDanno story. I didn't want to vilify Steve, since he should take care of himself and find peace, so I hope that comes across. Finally, eternal thanks to my beta PhoebeMiller for making my story way better than it was with her fantastic feedback about story line, diction, and all the grammar. She's an awesome writer in her own right - go read her wonderful stories! And always thanks to SheppardMcKay for inspiring me to post fic.

Steve and Danny. Danny and Steve. Steve left Danny. Danny was alone.

Sighing, Danny knew he had his kids, his family and the team. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt so fucking much. Days like today, it still hurt to breathe.

Danny didn’t begrudge Steve finding his peace. Or his taking care of himself. Hell, he tried to instill self preservation in his Neanderthal time and again. But when Steve finally took his advice and put himself first, it had ripped Danny’s heart to shreds.

It still hurt so damn much because of the way Steve left. The timing sucked. Just out of the hospital, Danny could barely walk even with his cane. This proved Steve was hiding the depth of his own suffering. Normally, he'd never leave Danny when he was injured. Danny smiled and remembered Steve raiding his house for cookies after he'd been shot in quarantine. The fondness bubbling up just about killed him.

More memories of this year from hell came back, and Danny had to sit down. He'd moved himself into Steve's house after Doris died because he sensed Steve needed him. The loss was just too much after Joe's death. When Joanna had died, Steve was there for him, cooking him eggs most mornings, claiming routine was good. Danny knew Steve was talking about himself, too.

They'd fallen into something Danny dared call a relationship when he was awake late at night, insomnia raging. He and Steve lived together. They ate meals together most nights. They walked Eddie, locked up the house and said good night like a couple.

A couple of idiots, Danny grumbled now. Or was he the biggest idiot? He'd made this huge leap into what proved to be a lonely abyss.

What hurt the most was Steve pretty much rejecting the idea of the two of them growing old together on that beach. Danny didn't know for sure when his best friend would return from his Kung Fu adventures. He'd only counted on Steve coming home at some point. Now, when he replayed their last conversation, the dagger twisted in his chest even more.

The sad fact was - Danny loved Steve. Not just like a friend. He loved him like I want to spend the rest of my life with you even though you drive me crazy, you caveman. He never told Steve he was in love with him. Danny was scared and convinced such an admission would be suicide. Because he feared their friendship would be over, was so sure of it, in fact, that he kept all of his feelings locked away. He didn't want to fuck up the best friendship he'd ever had.

Not to mention, Steve was straight. He'd never given Danny any hint that he was interested. Unless you counted Steve's octopus arms and his total disregard for Danny's personal space. Which Danny did not dwell on. No way could he let himself go there. That's why he'd pushed Steve into dating. First Brooke and then the vet. Neither had really worked out, and Danny did not allow himself to question why. He would have kept on searching for the perfect mate for Steve, too, if he hadn't left. Even though Danny wanted it to be him.

No one knew Danny's secret. Although he mostly dated women, he had a few relationships with men while at Seton Hall. He kept his attraction to men close to the vest. He'd thought his college experiments were in the rearview mirror until the giant goof stole his crime scene.

To distract himself from the heartbreak over Steve’s dating, he’d focused on reconciling with Rachel in a vain attempt to stitch his family back together. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, it just didn’t work since he was in love with Steve. When they finally figured out they were better as friends, Rachel shocked him with advice to stop dithering and tell Steve. He was so taken aback by Rachel’s accurate insight into his heart, past all his bullshit, he’d gone to that bar and met Joanna. Like so many other things in his life, hooking up with her to forget Rachel and Steve had ended all kinds of bad. Spectacular didn't even cut it. Joanna's death wasn't his fault. This he knew. But he couldn't stop feeling guilty. She was with him in the car because of how he'd chosen to mend himself, and she'd died after everything he'd done to try to save her.

And of course, there was Catherine. He envied her for having Steve the way he wanted. She knew every inch of him. She knew so many more secrets.  Steve had opened his heart to her - and what had she done? She'd pulled a Doris. More than once. And the idiot took her back.

Weren't they a pair? Danny knew he was a hypocrite for being angry with Steve about getting back with an ex time and again. He didn't care. He couldn't help feeling upset that Steve was with Catherine (probably this very minute) and not him.

+++++++

Three months had passed since Steve left, and Danny’s PT was coming along well. He texted Steve a few times a week to check in, while Steve returned his texts within a couple hours. They’d spoken on the phone a few times, and Danny lost himself in the comforting cadence of Steve’s voice. Their calls ranged from about 20 minutes to almost an hour, and their talks were nice. But during one of their conversations, as he listened to Steve chatter on about what he did in whatever destination he was currently staying, Danny realized that Steve’s journey to find himself didn’t include him. Steve didn’t need him like Danny needed him. And that revelation punched the breath out of him. He tried to cover it, but Steve, with his keen SEAL senses, heard it.

“Danno, you okay?” Steve interrupted his story about what he saw in Scotland.

“Yeah, babe, I’m ok. Just still get tired sometimes. Had PT this morning and energy kinda zapped. You mind if we pick this up some other time? I’m gonna have a lie down.” Danny chewed his lips as he lied. It was a white lie, but still.

“Ok… you take care buddy. I love you.” Steve said with a note of concern.

“You too.” replied Danny. He couldn’t tell Steve he loved him on their calls because he didn’t want Steve to hear how in love with him he was. Texting “love you, too” was fine, but when he said it, he felt his heart in his throat.

Putting his phone down, Danny glanced around himself. He was still at Steve’s house sitting on his couch. Eddie was laying on the floor nearby. And Danny came to a decision. Steve was out finding himself, and Danny really needed to do the same. He had spent so much of the past ten years being part of Steve and Danny that outside of being a father to Grace and Charlie and being on the task force, he‘d kinda lost himself. He felt like his life wasn’t making sense after deciding to just be friends with Rachel and then the tragedy with Joanna. He knew that in order to move on with his life, he had to make a change. He would always be there for Steve, but it was time he was there for himself.

A few days later, Steve called again. This time he was in Ireland. He told Danny about the beautiful scenery there, and after he was done, he asked, “So, what are you up to now, Danno? PT almost done right?”

Danny took a deep breath and started. “Funny you should ask that. I, um, I’m gonna move back to my place, Steve.”

There was a moment of stunned silence.

“Why? Danny, is something wrong?” Steve replied, trying to keep a lock on his emotions.

“No, babe.” Danny grimaced and continued. “I just, uh, think it’s time to move back. You know, you’re out there trying to find yourself and your peace without me…”

Steve gasped, “Danny…”

Shaking his head, Danny kept going. “and that’s fine, Steve. I’m not trying to make you feel bad. You deserve to find the peace and happiness you need. I just need to find myself again a bit. After Joanna died, I felt sorta lost. And I was starting to make sense of my life again before Daiyu Mei swooped in…” He didn’t mention and when you left me. Danny shook that thought from his head.

“So, I need to do this. To remember who I was before I was part of Steve and Danny…” he finished with a fake chuckle.

“Danno, are you sure?” Steve asked, a note of sadness in his voice.

Danny nodded even though Steve couldn’t see him. “Yes.”

There was another moment of charged silence.

“Ok, Danno, I got it. You need this, so I got your back. Whatever you need. Hey, I gotta head out, but I’ll call again, alright?” Steve sounded like he was happy for Danny but wasn’t quite believing it.

Danny replied, “Sure. Bye, babe.”

Steve said clearly, “I love you, Danny.”

“You too.” Danny croaked out. When the call ended, he dropped his phone next to him and covered his face with his hands taking in a few deep breaths.

It was time to find who he was again without Steve.

+++++++

Danny finally completed his eight weeks of PT, and his doctor okayed his return to light work aka paperwork. He still had to check in each month since it was his second gunshot wound in his chest in two years. As part of his process to return to Five-O, the governor mandated Danny to complete visits with his therapist since he survived such a traumatic experience. At first, he was annoyed he had to go to therapy again; he’d rather eat pineapple on his pizza. But during the couple of months of sessions about his kidnapping and near death at the hands of Daiyu Mei, he found himself working through various issues including the death of his partner Grace, his guilt over Matty, his complicated relationship with Rachel, Grace’s kidnapping and almost fatal car accident, Charlie’s paternity and medical condition, as well as other work related stresses and traumas. The governor’s directive for Danny’s therapy was once a week for two months, but he continued past that, and for a few weeks, he was going twice a week. He just unloaded whatever was burdening his mind and heart. He felt stronger for it. He even told the therapist about his feelings for Steve, and she suggested that to find closure or peace about it, he should consider discussing his feelings with Steve. Danny knew she was right but wasn’t ready yet. However, talking things out gave him the perspective he needed.

With the end of PT and his ongoing therapy doing well, he told the kids first he was moving out of Steve’s house. They were shocked, Tani near tears while Junior took the news stoically. But once Danny told them why, they were very supportive and helped Danny move to his now renovated place over two weekends. Lou, Quinn, and Adam also chipped in their time to help with Danny’s move. Since Junior moved in with Tani, they figured out a schedule of who would check on Steve’s place and when including the upkeep of the grounds. Junior and Tani told Danny once he was cleared for regular work, he could share some of the maintenance duties. They'd take care of it for now. Tani joked that maybe they could get Kamekona to hire some of his family. Danny rolled his eyes and smacked her. None of them had enough money for that enterprise.

Eddie was another story. Poor guy was just adapting to his master being gone. Now they were relocating him. Danny decided Eddie would live with him, and Junior would take him as time allowed since he loved Eddie, too. It was a good arrangement, as the loyal dog loved each of them. And he enjoyed the extra attention he was getting.

Danny felt like things were starting to get back to the new normal without Steve while he was at work doing paperwork and running point for any cases from HQ if needed. He surprised himself that he got the hang of the HQ computer table after getting lots of help from the team. Quinn was especially patient, and he appreciated it.

While Danny settled back at work, he still kept in contact with Steve. His best friend would mostly text him to check in with how things were going and send some pictures of gorgeous landscapes and appetizing food. When they did talk on the phone here and there, Steve would catch Danny up on things with him. Danny winced when Steve spoke about Catherine, but tried to sound as supportive as possible. He had to keep reminding himself that if Steve was happy with her, he would just have to accept it. And during one of these phone calls, Danny promised himself that he needed to start dating again. He may be in love with Steve, but he also owed it to himself to move forward and not spend the rest of his life pining after his best friend who was happy with the love of his life.

In a bold move, he asked Adam to be his wingman, explaining he needed to shake things up. He wanted to reclaim who he was before Daiyu Mei and even before his last disastrous attempt to get back with Rachel. What he left unspoken was his need to reinvent himself without Steve.

Adam didn’t even raise an eyebrow and had replied, “You got it, brother. You were there for me when I was lost without Kono, so I’m here for you.”

Danny was so grateful. They went to nice bars, the types professionals patronize. Danny did score dates with some doctors, lawyers, and accountants. He surprised Adam by dating both men and women, but after that initial shock, Adam supported his choices, even offering to set Danny up with friends. He even went on a few double dates with Adam and Tamiko. The companionship was nice, and the sex even nicer, but Danny didn’t feel like any of these people would help him get over Steve. At least he felt like his life was more balanced and not just focused on Steve all the time.

When he first mentioned to Steve that he was dating again, there was a silence long enough that Danny thought the call dropped. He could easily FaceTime Steve but just could not find the courage to see his beloved face again. The phone calls offered distance, a buffer. And Danny needed it so he could continue to support Steve and survive his updates when they included Catherine.

Just when Danny was ready to ask his best friend if he could hear him, an exaggeratedly upbeat Steve jumped back in.

“Hey, buddy, I’m glad you’re getting out there again. You deserve to be happy, too.” His voice cracked on the last bit.

After that last odd tone from Steve, they continued like normal when Danny filled him in on the latest with Grace and Charlie. The rest of the call was pleasant with some of their usual teasing.

But on the next call when Danny mentioned how he and Keith went on a double date with Adam and Tamiko, Steve choked and started coughing on the phone.

“Hey, babe, you ok? Don’t choke on the butter in your coffee, alright?” Danny joked.

Steve got his breath back and said, “Sorry, went down the wrong tube. Wait, so you’re dating guys now, Danny?”

Danny didn’t care for Steve’s tone, but answered, “Well, I did date a few guys back in college, but just stopped once I met Rachel.” He didn’t mention and once I met you. “Is that gonna be a problem for you, Steven?”

Steve quickly responded, “Of course not, Danny. I’m just shocked you never told me this in the over ten years we’ve known each other. And for the record, it’d be hypocritical of me if it was.”

Now it was Danny’s turn to gasp. “Wait, when the hell were you dating guys, Steve? In all the years we’ve been together, you’ve only talked about women.”

Sighing, Steve said, “Well, I didn’t really date guys, Danny. When I was deployed, I helped my teammates out like they helped me. So to be more specific, I’ve had sex with guys, but not actually dated them. I enjoyed the sex and was even attracted to some of the guys, but DADT kept me from being open about being sexually attracted to men.”

Danny couldn’t help himself. “Did Cath know?”

Steve chuckled briefly. “Of course, man. I told her I slept with several men and was attracted to some. She was cool with it since she had some bi friends and family.”

Danny admired Steve’s honesty, and he wanted to be honest, too.

“Steve, dating these men and women - it’s nothing serious. Don’t get me wrong, the company and sex are great, but they don’t compare to you.”

It sounded like Steve sniffled on the other end of the line. His voice was slightly hoarse. “And just so you know, partner, no one will ever replace you. No one can. Hey, we gotta grab some food…”

Danny teased, “Try not to ruin your food with pineapple, you animal. Enjoy your meal.”

Snickering, Steve added, “Copy that.”

Steve’s voice became sincere again. “I’ll call you again soon, Danno. I love you.”

Automatically, Danny replied, “You, too.”

Steve’s breath hitched before saying, “I miss you, Danny. Talk to you soon. Bye.”

Danny exhaled, “I miss you, too. Bye, babe.”

Once Danny placed his phone down, he was like, good going Williams. You almost told him you’re in love with him while Cath was right there. Don’t be an idiot next time.

+++++++

It had been a week since that eye-opening phone call and about six months since Steve left, Danny had been back to regular responsibilities at work for about a month. His therapy sessions were twice a month now. He was still seeing people but didn’t feel the desperation to date like when he first started a few months ago. He felt confident in his own skin again, feeling better both professionally and personally. But he was still in love with Steve. Danny finally decided. Fuck it. I’ll always love the maniac, I just have to live with it.

And it came to a head during one of their phone calls almost two months later.

Danny couldn’t keep himself from asking, “You happy with Cath, Steve?”

There was a pause before Steve said, “I wouldn’t know. She left about two months ago on another CIA assignment. She offered to come back when her job was over, but I told her that I need stability and consistency and her work didn’t provide that. I said I was proud that she found her way and happy for her that she loved her job. I told her that I would always love her, but she deserved someone who was in love with her.”

Danny’s heart sped up with hope. “So, what are you saying, Steve?”

Steve pushed air through his nose. “I’m saying that I couldn’t commit to her because I’m in love with you.”

“Steve…?” Danny’s voice shook with emotion.

“Danny, every time I told you I love you when we ended our calls, I meant it as I’m in love with you. You never repeated it to me so I assumed you didn’t feel the same way. But once you told me you dated guys, I got hopeful again. And after that phone call, I stopped sleeping with Cath. And she knew something was up with the no sex but never called me on it. That’s just not what we do. Things are easy for us, and when they’re not, we still pretend that they are. But my heart couldn’t just be satisfied with what was easy and familiar anymore. I needed the challenge and passion. I need you.”

Danny confessed, “Babe, I’m in love with you, too. I just couldn’t tell you since I thought you had your happily ever after with Catherine. When I figured you guys were permanent, I dated to move on without you. But it’s no use, Steve. I want you. I want everything with you.”

Choked with emotion, Steve whispered, “Danny.. I’m coming home.”

“I’m so glad, babe. I love you.”

+++++++

Two days later, Danny was at baggage claim. He spotted Steve immediately, tall and gorgeous with a full beard and short but longer than military regulation hair. Steve saw him too, and his face lit up with a huge smile that crinkled his eyes. They moved quickly through the crowd to each other. As he got closer, Danny spotted the specks of white in Steve’s hair and thought it just made his big goof even more handsome. Finally, they were in front of each other. Dropping his duffel, Steve wrapped his arms around Danny hugging him tightly. He tucked his face into Danny’s hair and inhaled deeply.

“Danno, I missed you so much.”

Danny just squeaked out a “me too” while he hugged Steve. He was too busy inhaling the travel worn scent of Steve. He couldn’t get enough of the man he loved. He rubbed his face into Steve’s chest, reveling in the physical presence he had wanted so much all these months and at long last had.

They moved so their foreheads were resting against each other. Breathing the same air, not aware of the bustle of the people around them.

Danny broke their peaceful bubble by moving his face away so he could look into Steve’s eyes. “Did you find the peace you needed, babe?”

Huffing and licking his lips, Steve shook his head. His left hand held Danny’s face as his gaze never wavered. “Not yet, but I’m working on it. I know I’ll get there with therapy and what I need most.”

Danny tilted his head questioningly at Steve.

“You.”

Then Steve kissed Danny. Eyes fluttering closed, Danny returned the kiss. Like this thing they were doing happened every day.

Feeling a surge of joy, Danny broke the kiss with a smile. Smiling himself, Steve opened his eyes.

“I think I need you to repeat yourself, I didn’t quite hear you,” Danny said with a smirk as he pulled Steve down again. This time, the kiss was firmer. Danny nipped Steve's bottom lip and he opened his mouth. Always the control freak, Steve cupped Danny's face so he could move him where he wanted. He hummed contentedly as he tasted Danny. A couple times, their teeth clacked, but their tongues soothed the minor mishaps. The frantic exploration continued until they needed air.

Eyes opening and panting a bit as their lips parted, they grinned at each other goofily.

“I think we gave the airport enough of a show, babe.” Danny joked.

Steve chuckled. He sobered a bit and said, “Danny, I love you.”

Danny smiled brightly as his heart thudded happily. “I love you, too, Steve. Let’s go home.”

“And where is that exactly?” Steve asked mischievously.

“Wherever you and I are together.” Danny replied quickly.

Appeased, Steve grabbed his bag and slung it on his left shoulder. He pulled Danny under his right arm as they walked to the car.

Danny with Steve. Strong on their own. Strongest together.

FIN.

[spdersilk]

Sunburn

Summary: bucky is smitten and so are you. one sunburn later and y’all have some “fondue” (i tried to make it rhyme but it didn’t work)

Pairing(s): bucky barnes x reader

Requests: open!

Word Count: 1.8k

Warning(s): swearing, fluff

It was hot. It was ridiculously hot. The California heat seemed to be extraordinary oppressive this morning and all Bucky could think of was ways to make his metal arm not accidentally brush against his skin. He had made that mistake four times this morning.  Tony had decided it was essential for the Avengers to take a getaway trip for the sake of sanity. Bucky called bullshit,  clearly aware that Tony was postponing yet another Avengers meeting with Ross and Fury. Not that he minded.The team had spent the last month communicating with officials nearly everyday to organize plans, substantiate future missions, and debrief every and any inquiries from Maria Hill. The vacation was well deserved. But the climate made it feel more like a spa day gone wrong than a relaxing day at the beach. 

“Where’s Nat? I thought she and Y/N were going to get the drinks.” Sam grumbled, rubbing more sunscreen on. 

“She said that 20 minutes ago. I bet they’re lounging in the bar. I know Tony’s making drinks over there.” Steve added, sinking deeper into his sun chair. Bucky turned around and squinted. Surely enough the two women sat perched on two bar-stools, entertaining Tony. The drinks were long forgotten. 

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Bucky muttered. Steve turned around before groaning.

“Hey what’s the deal with you and Y/N anyway?” Sam asked, turning towards Bucky. Steve raised an eyebrow at his friend.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Bucky stated, looking away. Steve looked at Sam in confusion.

“There’s something going on with Y/N and Bucky?”

Bucky pursed his lips. There wasn’t anything going on...necessarily. Bucky had developed a “small attraction” towards his team mate and there was nothing wrong with that. Until Sam found out. Bucky still regretted that day, thinking of a million different ways it could have gone with an outcome that was completely different. Sadly, no matter how much he dreamed, reality sucked and Sam would never not be a dick.

Y/N had just finished training with Natasha and was eager to ravage the fridge for anything that would satisfy her seemingly unquenchable appetite. Bucky sat on the sofa, his eyebrows knit in confusion.

“Do you want me to turn on the television? I’m sure it’ll be way more interesting to stare at than just a blank screen.” Y/N said, smiling lightly. Bucky blinked, now noticing the blank television.

“I was just thinking.” He replied, blushing lightly. He had been pondering about her and how exactly he would ask her out. This was much easier back in the 40s.

“Ahh. Do you want anything from the fridge?” Y/N asked, turning towards the kitchen. Bucky couldn’t restrain his eyes from checking out the rest of her figure. He was so utterly drawn to her that he was sure she could make anything look beautiful. She turned around at his lack of response. Bucky flushed.

“Just a bottle of water.” 

Y/N hummed in response and Bucky began to panic. It’s now or never Barnes. He got up quickly, his mind set on asking her out. He didn’t realize a familiar well built man with a smirk waltz into the room. 

“Y/N, I was wondering if you would wanna-”

“Hey manchurian candidate, whatcha got there?” 

Bucky froze. That son of a bitch. He looked at Sam, his eyes narrowing at him. Sam looked at Y/N before looking back at Bucky, the wheels in his mind turning. He knows.

“A water bottle.” Bucky said between his teeth.

“Y/N, could you toss me a granola bar?” Sam asked, his shit eating grin only widening. Bucky only had one wish at that moment: make Sam Wilson disappear.

“Sure. Bucky, what were you saying?” Y/N asked, tossing Sam a bar. 

“I was thinking we could-”

“Oh my god, was he going to tell you how I walked in on him watching porn? Dear god-” Sam barked out in laughter. Bucky stared wide eyed, absolutely mortified.

“What?” Y/N asked, clearly bewildered.

“I walked in on Bucky watching porn. It was hilarious and traumatizing.” Sam snickered. Bucky tried to speak, but his voice betrayed him and all he could do was watch the horrifying scene unravel before him. He looked at Y/N, his eyes almost pleading her not to believe Sam. She let out a small chuckle, clearly uncomfortable. Bucky had never wanted to kill Sam more than he did in that moment.

“That’s great um. I’ll sit this story out, see ya guys later.”

Bucky shook his head at the memory, the embarrassment still causing him to blush. 

“No, Sam just likes to make up things.” Bucky mumbled. 

“I do not! Old man’s just saying that because he’s sad he hasn’t gotten a kiss since 19-”

“Are you asking for a black eye, because I am not afraid-”

“Guys settle down. Has it really been that long since you’ve kissed someone Buck?” Steve asked, clearly amused. Bucky looked away, his lips pressing into a fine line.

“No.”

“Liar!”

“Who’s lying about what?” 

Natasha and Y/N suddenly came into view, a cooler in both of their hands. Steve let out a sigh of relief, violently taking the box from Natasha’s hand.

“Easy there. You’re acting as if we were gone for an eternity.” She said, taking a seat at the edge of Steve’s sun chair.

“That’s because you guys were gone for an eternity.” Bucky grumbled, cracking open a Milwaukee beer. Y/N took a seat beside him.

“You guys are a bunch of divas. And who’s a liar?” She asked, crossing her legs. 

“Frozen Popsicle No.2 over there hasn’t gotten a good ol’ smooch since the 20th century.” Sam crooned, making kissing faces at Bucky. Using his metal arm, Bucky grabbed Sam’s bicep causing him to shriek. Steve immediately set the fire out. 

“I highly doubt that.” Y/N said, popping a pistachio in her mouth. Bucky raised an eyebrow at her.

“Look at you. Who wouldn’t want to make out with you?” She stated before freezing. The four of them stared at her, their gazes unwavering. Y/N shrugged sheepishly.

“Just putting it out there.” She whispered, taking a giant sip of her beer. Bucky stared at her for another moment before clearing his throat. 

“Alright you two...save the sex eyes for later. I actually want to enjoy the vacation while it lasts.” Sam quipped, causing them to laugh. 

Bucky couldn’t seem to get her out of his mind the rest of the day. He distanced himself from Y/N as much as he could, convincing himself her words were out of pity. He wasn’t aware that the distance hurt her or that she pined for him the same way. 

“You’ve got a sun burn.”

Bucky shook slightly, looking to the side. Y/N stood there, her eyes peering at his chest. He was still shirtless, opting to not change because of the hot weather. He looked down at his chest, touching at the burnt skin before wincing. 

“Hold on, I’ll be right back.” She muttered, disappearing into the corridor. Bucky’s heart began to pound. Is she not weirded out by me? After Sam’s little stunt three days ago? And then earlier today? Bucky took a seat on the kitchen chair. She came back with a first aid kit and got to her knees. 

“This is going to hurt a bit.” Y/N said softly, squeezing out a white cream on to her hand. 

“Nothing I can’t handle.” He said, smiling slightly. She chuckled, slowly applying the cream to his chest. He didn’t wince, simply staring at her as she worked Bucky swore Y/N was the most breathtaking woman he had ever seen. If he had wanted to kiss anyone, surely it would be her. Hell, when he thought of the word intimacy, he thought of her. Her and the lazy smile she would give him in the mornings when he made her coffee. Her and the chocolate chip pancakes she would make for him because Steve told her it reminded him of his ma. Her listening to everything Peter had to say about Star Wars when Tony was too busy in the lab. Her helping Wanda with her emotional trauma. Her looking out for the team when they stopped taking care of themselves. He swallowed thickly. It was so hard to not fall in love with her. She made it as easy as breathing. 

“You’re staring.” Y/N said, glancing at Bucky. He didn’t reply, simply raising a finger to push her hair behind her ear.

“And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He mumbled, not caring if he confessed his feelings. Her breath stopped short and she gazed at him for a moment. His eyes were raw with emotion, a clear cerulean blue intensely gazing at her. Y/N looked down, carefully cleaning her hand with a wipe.

“You’re being coy.” She whispered, trying not to let his close proximity affect her. She was failing. He grasped her hand slowly, urging her to look at him.

“I am being honest, doll.”

Y/N swallowed thickly, her eyes searching his face for some kind of sign. But it was clear. He was smitten and it showed. She couldn’t hold herself back. Not now.

“You really haven’t kissed a girl in that long?”

“That embarrassing huh?” He asked, chuckling. She placed her hands on his shoulders. She looked down, not wanting to face the possible impending rejection on his face.

“Can I kiss you?” She mumbled. He almost sighed in relief.

“Please.”

And then their lips were molding against each other. Bucky couldn’t suppress the sigh he was holding in. Each opened mouth kiss conveyed the longing that they both felt. His veins were filled with adrenaline. The mere idea of tasting her lips was enough to drive him crazy but right now, he could barely restrain himself. He pulled her onto his lap, cupping her cheeks like it was the last thing he would ever hold dear to his heart. She snagged at the ends of his hair, allowing to him groan against her mouth. The kiss was erotic and nothing like the soft and slow kiss Y/N dreamed it would be. Eventually the two of them stopped for air, leaning against each other. 

“You could have asked me a lot sooner, ya know?” He panted, smiling dazedly at her. She rolled her eyes, leaning her head on his neck.

“Don’t get cocky now.” She mumbled.

“Oh and for the record, I was not watching porn.” Bucky stated, absentmindedly drawing shapes on her hip.

“And what were you watching?”

“Probably Dora the Explorer, or some shit.” Sam piped up. Bucky and Y/N jumped at the intrusion, immediately scrambling away from each other.

“Don’t act all Virgin Mary with me, I saw the sex eyes earlier. You two need to keep it at a minimum.” Sam grumbled before waltzing out of the room, leaving the two love sick birds to their selves.

[missjanedoeeyes-blog]

how about a Bucky that wears his jeans from before he started gaining around the house cause it turns Steve on but one day the seams split..

Every day, Steve thinks it’s going to be the day that Bucky admits he’s too fucking fat for his jeans and he needs a new pair. And every day, Bucky manages to squirm into them one more time, never mind that he looks like he might pop a button at any moment.

It can’t be comfortable, and Steve never misses those moments when Bucky tugs at his waistband to get it as low as possible, so the round, fat ball of his belly can expand fully over the top of them. It rests on his thighs now, when he’s sitting, which makes Steve so hot he can barely fucking stand it.

The thing is, Steve knows that Bucky knows the goddamn pants don’t fit. He’s just being an ass about it, because Steve had lovingly, playfully teased him a few months back that he was going to be in 40s before the summer started. Bucky had obstinately, adorably denied it, insisting that he was “just stocky” and he was sure that his weight gain had “leveled out” and he’d be fine in his 38s, thank you very much.

They’d both known he was lying, and god, that was what made it so goddamn sexy.

“Those jeans don’t fit,” Steve says now, as Bucky lies flat on his back on the bed and manages to get them buttoned once again.

Bucky huffs, partially in dismissal of Steve’s comment and partially because it leaves him breathless, pulling himself up to a sitting position with his gut pouring out over the top of his jeans like biscuit dough. “I’m wearing them, aren’t I? So they fit.”

“That can’t be comfortable. That button is gonna pop right off.”

Bucky looks down, palming the beach ball of his belly and giving it a jiggle. “They’ll loosen up after I’ve had them on a while.”

Privately, Steve thinks that’s a filthy lie, but he nods. “Uh huh.”

*

By the time dinner rolls around, Bucky’s been eating pretty steadily most of the day, and his gut looks enormous. His threadbare white t-shirt is taut against his belly like a second skin, and whenever he raises his arms, a sliver of belly appears. Still, his jeans are buttoned. Steve thinks he’s probably going to lose circulation soon.

“Bring me some more of that fettucine, hmm?” Bucky asks sweetly, looking up at Steve from his spot on the couch, where he’s balancing a scraped-clean plate on his belly like the world’s sexiest otter.

“Get it yourself, pal. I’ve already filled your plate three times,” Steve says, just to be obtuse. He reaches over from his side of the couch and pokes the side of Bucky’s belly. “Getting awful fat there, Buck.”

Bucky sighs, like Steve’s being completely unreasonable, and rocks forward, heaving himself up into a standing position. “Am not. Jeans still button, don’t they?”

“Buttoning them under your gut doesn’t count,” Steve says, and opens his mouth to keep going, to say something about how much of a glutton Bucky’s been today, but before he can get anything else out, Bucky takes a step toward the kitchen and stops short at the distinctive sound of fabric ripping. Steve watches, transfixed, as Bucky sets his empty plate down on the coffee table and leans awkwardly over his big gut, trying to peer at his inner thigh.

“Uh—the seam split, I think,” Bucky says, sounding sort of confused.

Steve cackles. “I told you! You’re too fat for those jeans!”

Bucky’s quiet for a minute, and Steve almost thinks for a second that they’ve gone too far, that the teasing-shaming-shit-giving game they play about Bucky’s ever-increasing girth has stopped being fun for Bucky. It makes Steve’s heart squeeze for a second; he would never, ever hurt Bucky’s feelings, not purposely, and certainly not just because he gets a sexual kick out of teasing Bucky about getting fat.

He even starts to say something, to try and fix it, but Bucky beats him to the punch, looking back at Steve with a shit-eating grin. “You said the button was gonna pop. It didn’t. So technically you were wrong.” He pats his belly. “They still fit around the waist.”

Steve’s flooded with relief. Clearly, Bucky isn’t the least bit traumatized by this latest evidence that he’s getting fatter. “They do not. You’re too fat for them, Buck. Just admit it.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “If I do, will you go get me more fettucine?”

“You are ridiculous.” Steve shakes his head. “But yes, baby. You just gotta admit it. That’s all. Tell me you got too fat to wear those stupid jeans.”

Bucky flops back down onto the sofa, and a few more threads snap with the movement. “Fine. I’m too fat for the jeans. They clearly don’t fit, and I think I need you to help me get ‘em unbuttoned. Happy, Rogers?”

Steve grins. “So happy, Buck. Here.” He leans over, hoisting Bucky’s fat belly up and out of the way. “Hold this up and lean back.”

Bucky complies, and Steve tugs the button loose. The zipper flies down on its own, and Bucky lets his fat stomach expand forward into that new space, flopping down onto his thick, jeans-busting thighs.

“Better?” Steve asks, unable to resist squeezing the soft chub of Bucky’s lower belly, the pale flabby part of belly that’s now exposed below his t-shirt.

“Mm, it’ll be better when you get me that food,” Bucky says, purposely pushing his belly out even further.

“Glutton,” Steve says sweetly, standing up and grabbing Bucky’s plate.

“Put extra cheese on it,” Bucky shoots back, and Steve does, a stupid smile on his face the whole time.