#steve said i'm not gonna come out it will be much funnier to watch the curiosity kill this cat

[formosusiniquis]

caught flour handed

For the @steddiemicrofic challenge Prompt: cake | WC: 311 | G | no CW A Dustin POV steddie discovery, everyone's fave

Steve has been up to something for weeks. Dustin knows the only way to find out what he’s been up to: sneak in and go through his shit. He’s calling it sneaking too, because if he knows where the key is he doesn’t think it can be called breaking and entering.

He twists the front knob slowly so it doesn’t click in the latch, even mostly deaf Steve always knows when someone’s at the door. Eddie would say crouching before he’s even through the doorway is a dead giveaway that something’s up. But what does he know?

“There are more helpful places your hands could be.” Dustin freezes in place; his hand still on the front door.

“There are less helpful places my hands could be.” That’s Eddie’s voice responding, but his van hadn’t been in the driveway.

“You’re the one that said you wanted cake.” He’s too far from the kitchen to tell, but Dustin would bet Steve has his hands on his hips.

“What if I said I actually wanted beefcake.” 

Steve can be a bit of a ditz sometimes, but Dustin can’t imagine him getting cake and that confused. What would beefcake even be, meatloaf?

“I would say you should have said something before we got up.”

“I would’ve but y’know how you get when your mind’s made up, Sweetheart.”

“No, I don’t actually. Want to share, Edmund?”

“Only that delicious cake you’re making.” Dustin can hear Eddie’s feet moving on Steve’s tile flooring. He’s creeping up on the doorway now, but has to assume based on the giggling that Eddie was moving out of smacking range.

Moving even closer, Dustin can see Steve facing the oven. Two perfect, white handprints on the ass of his jeans. “Your child is lurking,” Steve says, “do you wanna tell him what you’ve been doing to his babysitter, or should I?”

[slithyt0ves]

i just watched Con Air for the first time and basically live texted my reactions to my husband so here are some highlights from that

John Cusack is a mess in this movie

no really why is he like a soggy kitten

Colm Meany's accent really came on strong in the first scene he's in and then pretty much disappeared entirely which tbh im thankful for

Nick Cage's has been a nightmare all the way through

BUT HERE'S MY BABY STEVE BUSCEMI TO SAVE THE WHOLE FILM!!!!

like why the fuck is John Cusack wearing socks and fucking sandals and a nice linen suit

John Malkovich is great though as usual

Was not expecting Dave Chappelle, but then was not surprised when he was playing a crack head

96% of the things coming out of Cage's mouth are pure memes(tm)

also apparently im watching the edited for tv version which is making it even funnier

literally every person in this movie is in a billion other things

its like a smorgasboard of awesome b-list actors and i am feasting happily

"i SAID put the bunny back in the box!"

"Now you're talking semantics. What if I told you insane was working fifty hours a week in some office for fifty years at the end of which they tell you to fuck off? Ending up in some retirement village, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of trying to make it to the toilet in time?"

now they're in an airplane graveyard

literally why are some of these old planes that have clearly been sitting here dead for years smoking?

here we have a fight sequence between John Cusack and a plane

"Of course we're having trouble finding him! He's off saving the rainforest, or recycling his sandals or some shit!"

thank you for that Chief O'Brien

recycling his sandals

that's the worst insult he can come up with for a guy who he hates simply because he dares to think that prisoners are human beings and its valuable to try to understand them psychologically

lord they found the ugliest little girl that was currently living in 1997 to play the girl that Steve is gonna try to eat or whatever

(my husband replied 'he's not gonna eat her, they're friends" XD)

"Whaddaya think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna save the friggin day."

the little girl looks like handsome squidward

Guy to Cyrus: "Please, Cy--" Cyrus: "Anora." **tosses cigarette*

I AM FUCKING CACKLING

god damn John Cusack in his sandals and fine linen suit hotwiring a truck

dont-SLAM-treat-SLAM-women-SLAM-like that-SLAM!

omgomgomgomg the whole last like, twenty minutes of the movie i was going "is it bad that i kind of want Steve to escape" and then he DOES

just livin his best serial killer life in vegas, as he should

that was a fuckin ROMP