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#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the
delicatetaysversion
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3 days
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with
#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks
#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do
#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration
#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just
#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission
#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na
#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!
#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!
#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta
#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine
#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents
#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless
#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just
#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial
#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the
#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc
#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time
#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally
#having 103 FEVER.
#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn
#checking my fever sote jaagte
#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being
#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still
#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love
#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional
#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen
#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she
#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay
#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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