#srsly have never gotten over ''they knew each other better than anyone yet could no longer call each other friends''

[infizero]

are you guys ready for me to rb that entire comic in full every single time im brainrotting about kris and noelle. cause thats whats gonna happen

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[feignedperfect]

How do you feel about Hal

   SUCH A GOOD QUESTION i have so many thoughts on hal omg . like at first i was not a fan at all bc he comes off like a total tool and at first glance it seems like he and alice really don’t like each other much . i got the vibe that they might love each other on some level bc they have kids together and they’ve spent so long together & definitely care about each other at least but they don’t like each other at all ?? like any time she does anything that’s remotely  ’ alice like ’ he’s so put out and its just like ‘ why did you marry her then ?? ’ to me it seemed like a lot of the pressure she puts on herself must be from him and that perfection was a big deal to hal and then ofc the stuff with polly but actually since i’ve been rewatching i’ve changed my mind a lot .

like he still isn’t my favourite character or anything but i’ve been trying to look at it from a different lens and i’ve decided he’s not that bad. like obviously he still has a lot of faults but almost everyone on the show is an asshole so how harshly can we really judge at this point ?? lmao

we haven’t got to see too much of hal yet really, so i may end up being wrong but rn i think he’s a decent guy who loves his family but is also very stubborn. i think from what we’ve seen of him its clear he places a lot of value into FAMILY LEGACY, which was likely instilled in him quite young, and that’s what influences a lot of his poor choices. he didn’t tell alice or the kids about being related to the blossoms because he’s been told its a shameful family secret , one he may have intended to die with him . like - dumbass move dude get your shit together but idk maybe he was trying to protect them from it in a way ?? idk but srsly bro if you wanted your kid to stop dating her cousin - maybe yk tell them they’re cousins ?????

and then booking the abortion the way he did was obvs about the incest which he eventually copped to and you can see when it dawn’s on alice and she’s like ‘so that’s why’ and he’s just ‘yeah alice, THAT’S why’ to me it felt like there was a lot unspoken there and that was his way of letting her know that he never would have had the circumstances been any different. which actually makes me pretty curious what his reaction might have been had she gotten pregnant to anyone else - maybe he would have supported her keeping it after knowing how much it hurt alice losing their son ? who knows man

and then on to he and alice :  i think their relationship is honestly the most complicated and layered on the show and needs to be explored more for sure bc they have such a big issue with communication to the point of being heartbreaking, but they also seem to have this incredible ability to forgive at the same time ( if not completely then at least enough to move forward ) and this weird dependancy on each other i find really interesting.

it’s easy to write them off as a marriage of convenience but it just doesn’t make sense to me for alice, being who she is to marry/stay with someone she DIDN’T LOVE, its not in her character.

like what happened with polly ��-  she was DEVASTATED to find out he’d done that after all they’d been through. she was actually ready to walk away even though she’d been able to forgive him enough for doing it to her to marry him and have two more children.

then she finds out the reason and how the two of them were cousins etc and you can see her face when he says it, this wave of understanding goes over her and you can almost see her decide to forgive him and after that they go get polly and he’s moved back in. and it can’t just be for the sake of keeping up an image,  she had kicked him out already, the illusion of perfect was over so there was no reason to take him back unless she GENUINELY loved him.

and while some of the things he does have me side eying him hard af i’ve started to see the way he talks to alice ( not when they’re fighting, just in general ) as them just being MarriedTM lol like yes he rolls his eyes at her a lot but i don’t think its about him not liking her anymore, i think its just that they’ve been together so long now that he’s just like ‘ omg not again really pls ’ lmao but not even in a bad way . and i love that when she starts going overboard he’ll be like ‘alice’ or touch her or something and she’ll calm down and then like when they were in that city hall meeting he’s just sitting with is arm around her, not touching her but theres that closeness. then in the deleted scene after the meeting she has her arms linked around his which i think was really cute.

or like the scene where penelope slaps her , i loved seeing them interact there because he just puts his hand on her and he’s making sure she’s okay and talking her down, etc —-  mostly, i feel, because he knows if she does hit penelope she’s gonna hate hearing people gossip about her etc bc she’s so conscious of that.

i’ve also been trying to think of why tf she would stay w him after he had her give up their first kid, which she views as her biggest regret and i feel like he probably visited her a lot at the sisters and just sat w her and talked to her about whatever she wanted / about what their future would be like / helped her study so she didn’t fall behind bc she probably would have wanted to get a scholarship for college and just tried to be there for her however he could and maybe that helped her get through it IDK

the only thing i can think of is that she honestly really loved him and she knew he was right about them not being ready for a baby even though he handled it badly and at the time she was just young and thinking more about her own future. maybe it wasn’t until later that she started to regret it? like maybe when she had polly that she really started to regret not keeping him

i’m sure she felt some regret before that of course. felt that pull to him as her child but she was still a child herself really and i think it would’ve been seeing polly and all the milestones that come with having a child that would have made her realise what she missed out on with her first / would have made her wish she had have kept him.

i think when she was pregnant it would’ve felt like the end of the world and she would’ve had to give up all her dreams to have him and she was probably scared she’d end up living in a trailer park etc in the lifestyle she grew up in , but then after polly she thought differently. she realised well i could’ve had him in daycare or gone to a community college that would’ve been more lenient so she could’ve managed both etc.

i feel like I’m not even answering your question anymore at this point lmao

i think his parents would have played a huge part and you can tell by the way he told that story about his grandfather he’s very family orientated so pressure from his parents probably influenced him A LOT but i also think had she decided to keep the baby he’d have stuck by her.  i think it was his parents offered to pay for an abortion and probably paid to have her go to the sisters. and i think it would have meant a lot to her if he came to visit / kept coming back hat in hand trying to make amends and keep their relationship going bc she probably assumed he’d want nothing to do with her after. i feel like he’d have been really apologetic about the whole thing though.

i also feel like his mother is probably really intense and thats where alice takes on a lot of her 'perfect wife/mother’ act bc a lot of the show centres around the becoming your parents sort of thing but for alice i feel like it was mother-in-law. you can tell all perfect Mrs. Cooper posturing is very very put on so she has to be getting it from somewhere. and i feel like hal definitely became his father unintentionally with the way he’s holding onto old family feuds and offering to pay for polly’s abortion. i don’t think he would have been like that as a younger man.

i’ve also been thinking a lot about how alice and hal might’ve gotten together in the first place and i like the idea that it was because of her writing that he took a real interest. like he would’ve taken notice of her already bc she’s beautiful but probably wrote her off bc she was from the southside and idk maybe one day they’ve all had to read their own piece to the class or their work has been passed around etc and he’s realised theres a lot more to her than just the southside.

i’m really curious why he originally took interest in her bc we can pretty much guess her reason at least originally would’ve been this hope of having a better life but i think there must’ve been a lot more to him as well we just haven’t seen yet bc otherwise i think she could’ve easily had her pick of northside boys.

and from what i can tell they seem to be a marriage of equals for the most part, which i’m sure is something thats really important to her and that makes me like them together.

[tayegi]

Hey lu! I just read equilibrium's new update and its so good! I have been waiting to see the drama unfold once OC realises that Jungkook likes her. This has got to be one of my favourite writings from you! The storyline is so fucked up and sad yet i could totally see this happening in real life. Take your time to write the next part and i'll like you to know that you have found yourself a loyal fan here! Have a great day!

Ah im glad that you liked the update! And as strange as it is, theres a bit of realism, huh? bc real life relationships are never perfect. and this is such a level of fucked up that it could srsly happen in our fucked up world haha. Thank you so much and i hope you have a great day as well!

Anonymous said:If I were OC in equilibrium I definitely wouldn't have continued or even gotten into the relationship to begin with. Idk maybe I'm too prideful but if anything I would be MORE upset over being in love with someone who obviously cares more about someone else WHILE in a relationship with both. Like I'd have to witness the extent to which the person I love values someone else more than me, be constantly reminded that even if I'm with him and he cares about me to a degree, I will always be 2nd best.

wait really? This is so interesting to hear! I mean, i completely understand your perspective, but i feel like it would be hard for me to resist... Like imagine if it was IRL Jimin and he wanted to share you with an outside party. Could you really resist that? I am an weak bitch and id prob crumble in seconds D: 

Anonymous said:I really don't understand why all of these anons are so upset with the Mc and not the boys as well? The three of them are clearly using each other, it's not just her using Jk. Anyways, I love your stories and this one is fabulous as well, and those stupid anons need to chill out. You're fantastic and have every right to put them in their place! I look forward to the next chapter!

exactly! The internalized misogyny on this site is fucking ridiculous. But all of your kind comments make me realize that these idiots are the minority so im super grateful

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is so compelling. It's essentially a story like a chair with three legs- if one breaks, the whole structures collapses. Each person is only willing on keeping eachother around for their own gain. If anyone should be blamed for this, it should be Jungkook for simply suggesting the polygamous relationship knowing full well what it could mean for him specifically. Even more so, he's the only person "playing the field" taking advantage of Jimin's affection and OC's desperation - C Anon

Anonymous said:Continuing on my last ask. I also can't help but to notice that both Jimin or OC are particularly biased. They probably didn't intend to act that way but they do. But they also respect the "third wheel" of their ideal relationship respectively. Jungkook didn't do that. He intentionally tends to Jimin's needs knowing that's what he wants for no other reason than to keep OC away from Jimin. Cunning John Junglecock... someone is going to get hurt with this relationship built on lies - C Anon

Yes exactly! Theyre all pretty messed up, but Jungkook seems to be the most conniving of them all. I love the way you’ve thought this through and your interpretation is so spot on! Thanks so much for reading so carefully ^^

Anonymous said:Now that ive read chapter 10....how the FUCK are ppl mad at oc for this mess? Oc is dense for not picking up on jimin being willing to sell her for a corn chip in comparison to kookie, but the boys are by far the worst. They should've broken up after a week, with everything as toxic is it is. Both have ulterior motives when they say yes to the relationship. Everybody is in competition. And there is like, ZERO communication between them until kookie confessed in this chapter. It's a hot mess.

i know right??? seriously asdfjlksdfjk. tho i wouldnt go as far as saying that jimin is worse than the OC. theyre pretty damn equivalent. But no one’s innocent here haha. It’s just a truly screwed up situation D: 

Anonymous said:You are queen and I love you. I literally don't give a flying fuck what anyone else says about OC being a 'whatever-the-fuck-they-said' cause mygOD ARE YOU A FABULOUS WRITER. Fuck me Equilibrium is amazing. I'm slightly tipsy rn, but I know good literature when I read it, and I am leaving it open to reread it tomorrow when I am sober, but even I can see that the characters are all equally using each other, and each of them are to blame for this shit-storm of a relationship. Perhaps JK even more?

ahahahaha this is amazing! I’m so glad that you are tipsy! TAKE AN EXTRA SHOT FOR ME!

and i know right? I feel like Jimin and the OC have been played. Theyre innocent idiots. But then again, it’s not like they were forced into doing anything. it was their own free will :/ 

Anonymous said:Gahh ch10 was so intense! I agree with others that all three are wrong to manipulate each other but idk i found myself feeling kinda sorry for Jimin by the end of 10? The way I've interpreted it so far is that he probably felt the most inclined to just go with it and agree to the poly relationship, or at least that's how I read it, and yeah fine maybe he hasn't treated yn quite as 'nicely' but like he hasn't condemned her for also being affiliated with jungkook, but then again he's using this(1)

Anonymous said:(2) relationship to be with jungkook but yeah sorry I'm repeating myself but I really get the sense that he's just been kinda going along with it rather than outright manipulating them both, and yeah his resolve has been kinda breaking over the last few chapters but the flashbacks suggest that Jimin is at heart caring and just lovesick with jungkook whereas the oc and jungkook seem to have an unhealthy obsession w jimin and y/n respectively. Sorry I'm rambling but yeah thx for the amazing fic!

yeah i can see it that way! I feel like jimin has a better sense of morality and guilt than the other two. They are unhealthily obsessed, but jimin genuinely cares about them both, so it’s a bit sad. :/ But you can also see it from another dimension-- Jimin knew the OC liked him, Jungkook knew Jimin liked him and they both are playing their respective parties to get to what they want. However, the OC did not know that Jungkook liked him until the latest chapter, so she was pretty much innocent until now. so yeah. it’s debatable who’s the most innocent, but it sure as hell isnt jjk lol 

Anonymous said:Equilibrium is amazing for me because the longer you think about it the worse the characters get likeJimin at first seems like the purest one but then you realize he knew the OC was always being bullied and used and she depended on him because he was her first friend and he still made the decision to use her once again.Also I feel like part of her feelings for him have something to do with her feelings she came from an environment where she was never treated well and then suddenly here he was.

YES EXACTLY! It’s so hard to tell. bc jimin does genuinely care about the OC, but at the same time, the OC wasn’t manipulating anyone or stringing along anymore until the latest chapter where she finally broke and turned into one of them. So yeah... it’s the lucifer effect, man. The situation will change you