#spoilers as in I'm tweaking the shit out of game events so no you don't actually know what's real or isn't if you haven't played the game

[andthekitchensinkao3]

Thanks for the tag @elodiah :3 Next week I'll have a Lokius WiP snippet, I promise. Or, ooh, even for this Sunday's SSS. Stay tuned!

In the meantime, I'm still with the Veilguard canon-divergent epic brainrot that is, or will be, Stories Told and Forgotten.

In chapter 7, we follow Emmrich's POV through a hellscape - fighting a blighted dragon and darkspawn towards the end of Act 1, when that sort of thing's usually reserved for professionals, at the end of a DA game. And Emmrich, the gentleman necromancer, will have to face his biggest fear. Dying.

The floating city was on fire. The thought itself, the very concept, failed to make any sense: Minrathous, most powerful city of the north, populated by more mages per capita than any other nation in all of Thedas - on fire.

As they rushed through the streets, fighting off Venatori cultists shouting about the glory of Tevinter, all Emmrich could see was blatant misery. Entire residential areas crumbling under the onslaught of the dragon, and the fire, spreading from wherever the dragon saw fit to spew its fiery misery onto the proud city. Say what you will of Minrathous’ politics, but politics couldn’t lose their homes to a monster on blighted wings.

They worked their way ever downward, to the last known location of the dragon. It was easy enough: just follow its path of destruction. Neve led the charge for Rook, Bellara and Emmrich, while Harding, Davrin and Assan, and Lucanis made their way from the other way around, hoping to hit the beast from two vantage points instead of one.

Past Dumat Plaza, onwards to the Andoralis grounds - there came a clamoring unlike anything Emmrich had ever heard, even in his worst nightmares. A thousand voices, roaring into the Tevene night sky. No. Snarling.

“Darkspawn ahead!” Rook called out, whipping his head around to meet their eyes - “Emmrich, raise the dead, and raise Hell while you’re at it! Bellara, hit them with everything you’ve got, arrows or temporal magic, everything! Neve?”

“I’ll freeze the bastards solid. I’ll send the dragon into its own, personal ice age if I have to.”

Rook nodded. “Our primary focus is taking down that dragon, and every darkspawn down there. Fight smart, not fast. We don’t want to get infected, so keep your distance and attack from afar. You see someone hurting, don’t hesitate to act backup, but be safe.”

Emmrich’s pulse throbbed against his collar, which felt so tight he could barely swallow down the taste of bile. Bellara readied two of her arrows, as grim as their objective. Rook’s eyes went to him, and Emmrich could only hope he looked calmer than he felt.

“I’ll raise a small army, Rook. The darkspawn won’t know what hit them,” he said, already calculating mana pool versus sustaining animation by the dozens-or-hundreds. Fight smart, not fast was possibly the cleverest thing he’d heard since they left for Minrathous. There would be no point to hitting the dragon with everything they had, only to be dragged off by the darkspawn… possibly to be eaten alive.

Rook’s jaw settled into a line so firm it looked painful. “I’ll draw the dragon’s attention. Solas said Ghilan’nain and Elgar’nan want the dagger. If that’s the case, they’d better come and get it.”

Emmrich’s heart all but sank to his stomach like a block of ice. “Rook--”

But Rook merely smiled, and showed the palm of his hand. “I can run faster than a panicked nug. And I’ll hit them hard. If we all do our part, we can do this.”

---

TAGS In no specific order: @redheadsramblings @starfleetteddybear @mercars-musings @starrose17 @holyglassbone @genocidalfetus @wolfpup026 @lokimobius

@ghoulehhh @natendo-art @in-my-loki-feels @kusakichan15

@devilbearingtrouble @impulsemuppet @mirilyawrites @scifikimmi @silentxsymphony

@rin-love-is-green @confetti39x @stillwanderingflame

@insert-witty-user-name-here @blackbirdofasgard @dreamycloud @distracteddream

@mobius-m-mobius @dilfmobius @adorbspotat @lgwilt

And, as alwyas, if I forgot to tag you, please consider yourself tagged!

[mikiruma]

okay i'm snapping what the hell is saints row about. who's the dude with the giant titties you keep thirsting over and who's the mcdonalds emo. i need some answers bc i don't know shit.

ill edit this w a readmore bc it got Very wordy and im on mobile but i promise you. this series is a mess, i live for it, i could go ON abt it for days but this response was long enough fhwkfhejhfnd

1) so basically the premise in most of the games is like. you are a member (leader as of sr2) of a street gang (the third street saints!) and though the story is tweaked slightly for each installment, the overall goal is the same- control different neighborhoods in your city, squash the other gangs, be badass. i *call* it a grand theft auto clone but tbh i havent played gta, the gameplay's similar enough though. the first two games are more uhh... grounded? than the later 3? the plotlines are darker, deaths & events are more fucked up in a heavier/moral sense, etc etc. but the last 3 are way more silly i think. the entire series is kinda packed with crude/sexual humour and essentially responding to a punch with a flamethrower, but it goes over the top in the newer games which is.. why i always liked em lol.

but its just funny in general to think of the plot progression. oh i witness a gang war so im recruited in a gang whose current leader... wants to end gang violence. oh that leader tried to kill me and arrested/killed everyone else so i am going to go apeshit on this city until i find him and kill him back. oh somehow we are international celebrities and do crime as publicity stunts, i am gonna ask mayor burt reynolds to help us with this zombie invasion. oh now i am president of the united states, time to get the earth blown up by an alien warlord and do it with whats left of my gang every survivor plus an ai in a ball.

ive seen Some Shit abt the general timeline but tbh ive always tried to piece it together like. ok these games take place in/around whatever year they were released. besides sr4 which would be... 2019 if my math is correct? i just felt like mentioning that bc i am not touching any canon timeline

OH ALSO the main reason i even got into the series. i literally bought sr3 because of the character customization. the body mods could.... use a lot of work imo but what you can do for your protags face is BANANAS... and changing voice pitch in sr4 was fun too bc male 1 was ok for my boss but having it just a teensy bit higher REALLY made it

tldr; i cant help you there i am just along for this ride

2) im assuming you mean johnny gat not bc theres any competition but like. theres so many dudes like that in this game

his role is actually pretty consistent in that he stays a lieutenant, and hes one of the rare characters (besides. the protag i think?) who's been in every single game. he's the designated badass of the saints and is really good at coming up with plans that involve lots of guns or blowing stuff up. if i typed everything i liked abt him right now this post would be a mile long but trust me he is an excellent man, even tho he might be the scariest motherfucker ever and i probably would be afraid of him irl, he fully deserves that. hes loyal to the saints and his boss which i absolutely respect. still bitter abt sr3 "killing" him bc cmon. he cannot die. does that count in the spoiler? its the literal first mission after u customize your character so i dont think so// whatever ive been posting untagged spoilers for the other games bc theyve been out for a decade

3) IM STILL LOSING MY MIND OVER THAT SJSDHADDHSI mcdonalds emo.... thats his legal name now....

but seriously matt miller is like. one of my fav characters from sr3. he's the leader of one of the rival gangs, the deckers, and they specialize in hacking & money laundering and stuff like that. matt specifically is 16 in his debut game which is really funny to learn bc imagine being a ballsy ass kid repeatedly nae naeing the us government because you can.

anyway i like him bc instead of killing the other gang leaders like usual, u just fight him in a vr world and ur both sick ass dragons and he decides "actually i dont wanna go brain dead. ill give u either weapons or car discounts" then he fucks off back to england. then it lets him come back for sr4 and yall are friends now :D yes yall tried to kill each other but whats past is past. i would be his friend irl honestly hes great. also im still firm on the autistic matt train bc of how often he shares his love for nyte blayde & im WEAK over the boss eventually getting into it as well