#speaking is like. the barest amount and I've never spoken it outside school
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
knock knock it's
time to watch the In The Heights trailer again and fuckin cry my eyes out because it showed me what I'm missing re: my own mixed heritage
#pls pls don//t reblog#for context my lita is peruvian and my mom is 1st generation born in the US#i have.. some memories of when i was little. of dancing to spanish music with lita#if there was anything else i don't remember#but i never learned spanish and it's gonna be easier flying to the moon than becoming fluent in it#i never learned any as a kid and 4 years of spanish in public school was uh. not the best for me#don't ask me to read or write any Spanish but i can kind of hear and understand#speaking is like. the barest amount and I've never spoken it outside school#I JUST#watching the ITH trailer just made me realize how little (how fucking little) i know about/am connected to my spanish heritage#i live outside houston for chrissakes. there are so many chances for me to speak spanish#i feel like I'm trying to grab smoke from the air when i tell people I'm mixed.#as i get older it's not funny anymore hearing 'oh you must look like your dad!' or jokes about me being adopted#when I'm out with my mom (who has darker skin#(who has darker skin and dark hair and eyes. clearly i do not look like her)#it's just another reminder that there's my own personal history I'll never know or learn unless i go to peru myself#anyway this is a really long way of saying ITH makes me cry not just because of the story but because i want what they have:#culture they're proud of#anyway I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom now peace
4 notes
·
View notes