#sorry yu pookie this is all in-universe 'foreshadowing' for your ob

[distant-velleity]

vanishing act

You aren't supposed to be here.

A/N: Wrote this second-person POV "drabble" for the Ramshackle Isn't On Fire (Yet) server because I wanted to make them cry <3 Now it's here. This is not an x reader thing, this is from the perspective of my Yuusona, Yuhua/Yu (and features changes to canon based on his own actions), but maybe if you relate enough it could be about you...? Who knows. Enjoy it anyway, if you want~

~

The masquerade is, in basically every aspect, a success.

Students dance and smile at each other from beneath their masks, no matter what school they hail from. The music ranges from joyous and lively, to dramatic and passionate. Everyone is bathed in the brilliant lights, like the shining stars they are.

Everyone except you. 

You fidget with your sleeves, your mask, anything that feels vaguely uncomfortable. You watch the students, wanting to join in on the excitement despite knowing you can’t and you’re not good enough to.

You’re always like this, fading into the background. You don’t have what it takes to stay on stage for a long time. You shine bright for a short while, and then your moment is over, and you’re back to hiding in the half-light of the wings. Like you never even happened.

Why?

Because you’re a coward who always gets ahead of himself. You’re a fool who keeps biting off more than he can chew. 

You didn’t have to leave Trein in the more capable hands of the vice president and aide. You didn’t have to let go of every acquaintance while insisting they stay safe. You didn’t have to scale that bell tower with the housewardens, offering them support against the blazing flowers. You didn’t have to put yourself in danger, up above the city where even a stray shot of magic could spell your doom.

Rollo was right. You really had no stake in this at all, as a magicless person. You could have taken up his offer, you could have helped him, or you could have just done nothing at all.

Yeah. You didn’t have to do anything. It sure seems like you didn’t do anything. And now that it’s over, no one has to do anything for you. You can go back to being a nobody, a shadow on the windows who disappears with just a few “No, thank you”s and “I’ll pass”es. 

The thought of it leaves a bitter aftertaste in your mouth. 

All of a sudden, it feels like you shouldn’t be here. The lights are too bright, and the music too loud. Your skin crawls under the layers of expensive fabric with the feeling that something is wrong about your presence.

Maybe if I just vanished…

You don’t finish that thought. You don’t want to. Because you know where it will go.

You should leave. You need to leave.

You slip out of the ballroom, and shut down the part of you that hopes someone will notice.

~

writing taglist (ask to be added): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @casp1an-sea @elenauaurs (i actually don't know who wants to be tagged here......)