#sorry this was long and rambly and unasked for i'm just having a really really bad day
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y'know. it really sucks to feel yourself back-sliding, mentally, when you know you've been doing pretty alright for a while
#i can feel it coming scoob. frankly i think it may already be here.#i am always so tired. frustrated. having really fun mood swings.#and my job is deeply taxing and deeply stressful. ao i never get any fucking reprieve.#and i literally don't have the energy to care for myself at home reliably.#so my whole fuckin day got ruined today bc my landlord visited with some people to measure the place.#and i spent hours cleaning. and he ended the call by trlling me my apartment was dirty.#so. i cried. bc i have no emotional resilience anymore on account of the constant stress#and then i cut someone off in traffic today despite trying really hard to Not do that#but despite checking my mirrors and blind spot 4 times i still managed it!#and they sped past me. so i screamed at them from the safety of my car with the windows rolled up.#and then immediately burst into uncontrollable tears that lasted the better part of 30 min#and nearly made me puke.#so now. i am hollowed-out and exhausted. just barely making it through.#and i can feel how close the absolute meltdown is. and i can't fuckin do anything about it bc i can't miss work! fuck!#it's been an exceptionally stressful two weeks and I've had it. but we keep trucking i guess.#idk im sad and frustrated and just going through it rn. and it sucks bc i remember being happy.#and i'm just not anymore.#i ramble#sorry this was long and rambly and unasked for i'm just having a really really bad day#and will be having them every day until at least august!
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I Will Help You Swim. (Steddie Oneshot)
Summary: Eddie is about to leave Hawkins to see as much of the world as he can in his van, and Steve realizes it might be his last chance to tell his friend how he really feels.
Content: Just fluff! Lake day, fruity four, steddie, (implied ronance but nothing explicit so I'm not tagging it and getting anyone's hopes up)
Word Count: 5.8k
A/N: Yeah I know I said "I'm not writing anything else until I finish banished&bloody!!" but I am like papa!! I LIE. I needed something sweet and soft for my boys. This is HEAVILY based on the song Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms, like I am pulling lines straight from their lyrics and I strongly recommend listening while you read <3
“Harrington residence, Steve speaking.” His voice crackled down the receiver, slightly staticky as he loosed a tiny sigh into the mouthpiece. “Harrington!” Eddie’s voice crowed back, making him jerk away from the cool plastic pressed against his ear. “Hey, man. I just–uh, I guess I was just calling to make sure we still had plans tomorrow?” Steve’s eyebrows slid down over his eyes, his lip pulling back from his teeth as he wracked his brain.
“It’s just, um, well, I hadn’t heard from you in a few days, and I know I probably should have just called Robin, but I figured since it’s your pool we’re using I should call you. Right?” Eddie’s voice almost sounded nervous to Steve, a level of anxiety clearly present in his tone as he rambled his unasked for explanation.
“Oh, shit,” Steve said, pushing his free hand through his hair. “Eddie, I’m so sorry. I totally spaced. It’s–my parents are in town. Home, I mean. They’re home this weekend.” There was silence on the other end of the phone. “Hey,” Eddie said, his voice smooth and gentle through the lines. “No worries. I can just catch you guys some other time.”
“No, Eddie, that’s not fair!” Steve said, suddenly furious with himself. How did he forget this? How did he forget that Eddie was leaving this weekend, was finally going to get the hell out of Hawkins like he’d been promising to do the entire time they’ve known each other?
It had to have been a result of his parent’s arrival. Steve had drifted home from Munson’s trailer late one night, rolling in through his unlocked front door smelling of weed and stale beer after a movie night with his friends. He had sat through one of Eddie’s picks, a slasher horror movie filled with fake blood and exaggerated close-ups of screaming women, with Robin and Nancy, the three of them laughing as Eddie tried to explain the genius of the “film.” The girls had left after the movie, fingers wound through each other’s hands, but Steve had decided to stay, gratefully accepting Eddie’s offer to smoke as he picked up empty beer cans–grateful for the weed, sure, but more grateful for the time spent alone, just him and Eddie.
They had spent the next two hours leaning back on the couch, bodies pressed slightly closer together than Steve thought was appropriate for two friends as he rode out the peak of the high. Eddie had quietly talked about his never-ceasing plans, his ideas for the future, and the darkness of the trailer filled with glimmering sparks coming off of Munson’s dreams and plans that seemed like a wild fantasy to Steve but were reality for Eddie. Steve was still barely able to wrap his mind around the fact that he was alive, that he was physically here and had survived what was supposedly the last trip he’d ever take to the Upside Down.
But Eddie had plans, had dreams like Steve never had. Steve was still surprised every morning he woke up, but Munson was going to see the world. Eddie was already starting to pack, had started planning out his route to drive across America. “I’m going to play on sidewalks in every state,” he had laughed. “And I’m not stopping until I find the right place, you know what I mean, man?” Steve had looked at him, really looked at him, pressing his face closer to Eddie’s. “No.”
Eddie had laughed, throwing his head back and letting his long, dark curls swing across his back as he turned his body towards Steve’s. “Somewhere that feels…safe, I guess. I just want to play my music and be–” He had blushed, the dim light from the kitchen showing the slight pink stain across his high cheekbones barely covered by his long hair. “Being happy with someone else would be nice, I think,” Eddie said, his eyes glancing down as he fidgeted with the rings on his fingers. Steve had just stared, blinking hard against his heavy eyelids. “Yeah,” he had sighed. “I think it would be nice too.” When Eddie had looked up at him, grinning, he had smiled slowly back at him.
But when he went home, his parents had been waiting in the living room. “Steve,” his mother had said, standing abruptly and startling him. “Where have you been?” “Mom?” He had been so confused, completely taken aback by the sight of his parents in their living room. They were rarely ever home, spending most of their time making business deals for his father with his mother schmoozing the clients. “Are you high, son?” His father said, wrinkling his nose as the scent of Steve’s skin crowded the room. “It’s–It’s a friends, not mine,” Steve said, a weak excuse for the permanence of the smell under his nails and the red in his eyes. His father had just shaken his head, his mouth setting into a hard grimace–the same hard grimace Steve had seen when he had been rejected from his dad’s alma mater, when he had gotten a job at Scoops Ahoy!, when he had told him he didn’t want an internship with his dad’s business if it was just going to be handed to him because of his last name.
He had gone up to his room, remorsefully scrubbing the smell of Eddie’s house and marijuana off his skin, and slid in between his cool sheets. He had stripped off the shirt he was wearing, tossing it onto the empty bed where he’d spent the night holding it against his face, trying to absorb the smell Eddie’s skin had left on the shirt sleeve that had been pressed up against him all night. The days since his parents had come home had been awkward, tense; Steve was constantly on edge, waiting for his father to finally blow up at him or his mother’s sighs to drive him over the precipice.
He had picked up extra shifts at the Family Video Store, desperate for any reason to escape the house that felt emptier when his parents were home, and he was lucky Eddie had called when he did as he had been gone most nights, working or pretending to as he drove the deserted streets of Hawkins. His parents had accepted he was far from perfect–or, at least, had accepted that he was a failure–but he still couldn’t imagine they would want to know that he was hanging around with the supposed cult leader of Hawkins. Steve flinched, standing at the receiver, at the imagined picture of his mother or father answering the phone and being told that it was Eddie Munson calling for their son.
“Eddie,” he said into the receiver, brushing his fingers through his hair. “I don’t want–you can’t leave before we all get to say goodbye to you.” He wasn’t sure how they were going to get together with his parents’ actually at his house, but he couldn’t let Eddie leave without seeing him again. “It’s no big deal,” Eddie’s voice said. “I already saw the Hellfire kids tonight. We played one last campaign. Maybe I’ll come home for Christmas or something, and I can see you and the gals then.” “No,” Steve said.
The idea of not seeing Eddie until Christmas stuck in his throat, the feeling like a dry clump of sand pressing against his vocal chords. “We can–we could go to the Hawkins pool!” Steve said, proud of himself for preserving their swimming day. Eddie laughed. “No offense, Harrington, but some of us don’t exactly get along with the families around here.” Steve flinched into the phone, embarrassed at how easily he had forgotten the way people in this town still looked at Eddie when he went out.
“Sorry,” he half-whispered. “I just…don’t think you should leave. Until we get to see you.” There was silence on the other end of the line. “Eddie?” “What if,” his low voice was sudden and hushed, “we go to the quarry? Swim there?” “The one by Hawkins Lab?” Steve’s head recoiled, shock making his eyes narrow. “Well yeah,” Eddie laughed, “It’s not like it was actually making people sick, right?” “I guess not,” Steve said. “We’ll probably be the only ones there, too,” Eddie said, getting worked up, “since we’re the only ones who know it’s safe. Come on, it’ll be like going to the lake but with less people!” Steve couldn’t help the smile that slipped over his lips as Eddie’s voice grew more passionate. “Okay, okay,” he said, laughing. “Call Nancy and tell her. I’ll see you guys there tomorrow at lunch, okay?”
The next day, Steve put on his Family Video Store vest over a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. He slipped his swim trunks, an old Hawkins basketball shirt, a pair of shorts, and a thick, plush pool towel into a duffel bag, throwing it over his shoulder. “Going to work, mom,” he said, stooping down to press a quick kiss to his mom’s hair as he walked past her in the living room. “Wait,” she said, and Steve felt his spine stiffen. He turned, his mouth already set in the same hard line he had grown up observing on his father’s face. “Steve,” she started, then sighed. Steve fought back the urge to roll his eyes.
“Are you taking care of yourself?” Steve felt his eyebrows drop over his eyes as he tried to muddle through the meaning of her question. “What do you mean, mom?” “There were no groceries in the kitchen, Steve. You came home in the middle of the night like it was nothing. You’re at work all day, every day. Are you…” She sighed again, dramatically. “I just want to make sure that you’re happy.” Steve felt a lump form in his throat.
It had never occurred to him that his mom would think about things like that, would notice what he was doing. “I’m…I think I’m happy,” he said. “Do you–Well, Stevie, you’re spending time with people, right? When we’re gone? I just don’t like the idea of you alone in this house all the time,” she said, missing the irony of her responsibility to be one of the people in the house with him. He laughed. “Yeah mom, I’m ‘spending time with people.’”
“Good,” she said, nodding. “And these ‘people,’” she half-grinned at him, “she makes you happy?” Unbidden, an image of Eddie floated behind Steve’s eyes. His hair, knotted up behind his neck as he played his guitar, or tickling the sides of Steve’s neck as they leaned against each other on the couch, pretending he was too tired to move so he could spend a few more minutes pressed up against him. Steve felt a blush creep up his neck, staining his cheeks.
“I’m happy, mom,” he said, rolling his eyes now as he pushed a hand up his neck, the same way Eddie always did when he wanted to avoid making eye contact. “Okay,” she said, turning back to the television in the middle of the room with a small smile on her face. Steve started to walk away again, heading for the front door. “Oh, and honey? We’ve got a flight out around six tonight. I’ll leave the information on the counter for you.”
Steve pulled up to the quarry, parking his car beside Nancy’s. Eddie’s van was on the other side of her car, but none of them were in sight. Steve got out of the car, leaving the drivers side door open as he stood up and pulled his duffel bag into the empty driver's seat. He pulled his shirt and swim trunks out of the bag and, looking around quickly, changed hurriedly.
Right as he slid the mesh of his swim trunks over his hips, someone called “Harrington!” He jumped, his frame straightening out quickly. Robin laughed, loudly. “Didn’t mean to scare ya, Stevie boy,” she crooned, waggling her head at him. “Shut up, Robin,” he said, a half smile lifting his lips. “What took you so long?” She asked. “We’ve already been here for at least half an hour.”
“I wanted to pick some stuff up,” he said, blushing as he turned to the back seat of the car. He slammed the driver’s door shut, opening the door behind it as Robin peered over his shoulder. “Ooh,” she said, ducking under his arm to grab a grocery bag. “What’d the rich kid bring?” Steve laughed. “Just snacks. Beer. The usual.” Robin turned her head back at Steve from over her shoulder, looking at him from where she was hunched into the opening of the car. “Steve. Did you get him a cake?”
Steve felt a blush snake over his face for the second time that day. “It’s a going away party, Robin. You’re supposed to have cake!” “Steve,” she said, standing up with a sigh, her arms full of paper bags and a six pack. “You need to tell him.” “No, I don’t!” Steve said, his eyes widening. “Steve Harrington!” Robin half-whispered, half-yelled. “You are in love with your second-best friend! You need to tell him!”
“Okay, okay,” he said gesturing with his hands for Robin to settle down as his face expressed a familiar look of skepticism. “I am not in love. I have a crush. And you know what happens with crushes, Robin? They go away! And he’s going away! It’s going to go with him!” Robin grumbled, stepping away from him as she began to walk back to where they had set their towels and bags at the edge of the water. “I’m just saying,” she said. “If you don’t tell him before he leaves, you may never see him again.”
Steve’s heart sank at her words. Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to him that he might never see Eddie again. He had just assumed Eddie would come home, would make his way back to Hawkins after he had seen the country. Steve chewed on his bottom lip. When Eddie had said he was looking for a place that felt safe, Steve had just assumed it would be where he was. He had thought, had hoped, that maybe Eddie would go and see the world and then realize he had everything he wanted waiting for him in Hawkins. Waiting for him in Steve.
He took a deep breath, pulling the grocery store sheet cake out of the back of the car, a package of birthday candles on top of the plastic covering. Robin was right, he thought, grimacing. As much as he hated to admit it, this was his last chance to tell Eddie how he felt–to give him a reason to come back to Hawkins. Steve sighed, wishing Robin hadn’t learned all of his best advice to force back on him when he wanted it the least.
“Harrington!” Eddie called from the water. “You’re here!” He ran towards the shore, his body moving slowly as it fought the pull of the water. Steve set down the cake, tossing his towel over it to hide it from Eddie, but he couldn’t help his eyes from running down Eddie’s body, from observing the pale skin marked with black ink that gleamed in the sunlight, droplets of water sliding over his skin as he emerged from the water. His black swim trunks dripped heavily on the ground as he walked up to Steve, wrapping him in a tight hug that left a damp print of his body against Steve’s clothes.
“What, like I was gonna skip your going away party, Munson?” He said, making his voice sarcastic as he rolled his eyes. “I didn’t think you’d bail,” Eddie said, smiling widely at him. “Just wasn’t sure you’d be able to get away from your parents.” “Oh,” Steve said. “I told them I was going to work. Plus, they’re leaving again tonight–no idea when they’re coming home.” Eddie just nodded, his lips pulled into his mouth. “So I’m a free man, starting tomorrow,” Steve said, smiling slightly.
“Maybe you can come by my trailer in the morning, then,” Eddie said, his wide brown eyes on Steve’s. “Send me off with one last smoke session.” Eddie pursed his lips to the side, making Steve laugh. His laugh echoed around the canyon they stood in, and Steve looked around. Robin and Nancy both were in the water, Nancy floating on her back in her bikini as Robin doggy-paddled in circles around her. Suddenly, Robin stood up and jumped, grabbing Nancy around the waist and pulling her down as she laughed, Nancy giggling and screaming.
The stone rose up high around them, gleaming with the dazzling streams of gold reflecting sunlight arcing up over their heads. Steve turned back to Eddie. “Good choice, Munson,” he said, nodding. “Yeah, well,” Eddie said. “Figured it would be better than not seeing you again. Until Christmas, at least.” Steve eyed the man’s face, watching him as he watched their friends giggle and splash each other in the water. “So,” Steve said, drawing Eddie’s eyes back to him. “You’re definitely coming home for Christmas?” “Yeah,” Eddie said, cocking his head to the side.
“Why? You want to know if you should get me a present?” He leaned into Steve’s space, pressing his face just shy of too-close to Steve’s. “Yeah, that’s it,” Steve said, shoving him back lightly. “Don’t want to waste my money on someone who’s not going to show up.” “Speaking of money, Harrington,” Eddie said, letting a smile tilt the corners of his lips up. “Are you ever going to get in the water? Or can rich kids only swim in chlorine?” Steve looked at his friend’s face, at the gleaming smile that made the corners of his eyes tilt up. At the smile that Steve had fallen for at some point, while he was busy cringing at too-loud death metal and learning how to use a bong.
“Oh, I can swim, Munson,” he said, stripping his shirt off. “Swim captain, Junior year. Remember? I think that was, what, your first senior year?” For just a second, Steve could have sworn he saw Eddie’s eyes slip from his face, slide down his chest, his abdomen, over his trunks. His face burned momentarily, a slight pressure in his stomach as Eddie’s eyes flicked back up to his, one eyebrow lifted and a tilt to his lips. “Oh, I remember,” Eddie said. “I remember having to go to your pep rallies,” he scoffed, stepping towards Steve. His hands came up, the pale white of his skin contrasting gently with the tanned olive of Steve’s shoulders as he grabbed him. “Pep rallies! For a survival instinct! Congratulations, you didn’t drown!”
Steve threw his head back, laughing. “It takes more skill than that, Munson!” Eddie just shook his head, his wet curls sliding heavily back and forth over his skin. On an impulse, Steve let his hands come up to where Eddie’s still sat on his shoulders, wrapping his fingers around Eddie’s wrists. The gentle thump of his pulse under Steve’s fingertips seemed to increase, Eddie’s tongue poking out between his lips to dampen his lower lip. “Come on,” Steve said, voice suddenly low. He cleared his throat. “Maybe we can get the girls to play chicken.”
They spent the rest of the afternoon in the water, taking breaks to eat saran-wrapped grocery store sandwiches and sip on cans of coke and bottles of beer, splashes and screams echoing around the empty stone. Robin climbed on Steve’s shoulders, her t-shirt and athletic shorts running rivulets of water down his back and into his hair as she gripped Nancy’s hands from her position over Eddie’s shoulders. They shoved each other, Nancy winning most rounds. Steve chastised Robin, heavily, for being such a pushover for pretty girls, but she merely shrugged and shook her head at him. “Maybe I’m just a wimp, Harrington,” she had said, and Nancy had laughed.
As the afternoon wore on, Eddie swam out slightly from where Nancy and Robin splashed each other, laughing as they threatened each other lightheartedly. Steve swam out towards him. “Where are you going, Munson?” He asked, pulling smoothly beside Eddie’s body and brushing his damp hair up from his forehead. His muscles felt good in the water, warm but loose under his skin. Eddie looked over at him, his eyes content as he pursed his lips. “Thought I’d race you, Harrington.” “Oh yeah? And where are we racing to?” “There’s a spot, out in the middle of the water,” Eddie said, coming closer to Steve.
He wrapped a hand around Steve’s shoulder angling his head behind Steve’s to direct his gaze. “Right there,” he said, pointing to a spot that shone just slightly in the center of the water. “There’s a rock under the water, and we can lay out on it. After I beat you there.” Steve laughed. “You’re–” He was going to say on, but Eddie suddenly pushed Steve’s head under water and threw himself forward, his arms sweeping long, passionate strokes over his head as his legs kicked beside, and then past, Steve. “Hey!” Steve cried as his head broke the surface to see Eddie swimming away. “Cheater!”
Steve threw himself after Eddie, pushing his lungs harder than he had in years to catch up to Eddie’s head start. The water pushed across his skin, sliding his hair over his cheeks as he choked back laughter. When he reached the smooth stone jutting out of the water, he stood up on the low shelf it created, using his arms to push himself up onto the part of the rock that shone in the sun. Eddie arrived shortly afterwards, panting hard. “Dammit, Harrington,” he said, face pink. “I really thought I might win.” Steve laughed, reaching a hand down to help him up. Their hands met in the water, Eddie’s rough fingers gentle across Steve’s smooth palm as he helped lift him.
Once Eddie got up on to the rock, Steve let himself lie back, his body warming in the soft glow of the late-afternoon sunshine. Eddie stayed sitting up, his ankles dangling into the water below the two of them. Steve let out a heavy sigh, the feeling of his bones baking in his body as familiar and calming as the faint smell of tobacco and soap that always clung to Eddie’s skin. He folded his arms behind his head and let his eyes drift close, his head becoming drowsy the longer he laid in the silence.
He heard Eddie take a deep breath. “What?” Steve asked, eyes still closed against the bright reflections of sunlight caught in the quarry, dancing over the walls of smooth stone and his eyelids. “You look…” Eddie said, his voice quieter than Steve was used to. Steve let his eyes slide open, turning his head slightly to look at Eddie, his eyes drifting down Steve’s body. “You look like a lizard,” Eddie said, pursing his lips into a slight smile, and Steve rolled his eyes, letting them close again. When he felt a hand slide over the muscles of his thigh, the scarred fingers rubbing small, damp circles against his skin, he sighed quietly, a smile ghosting over his lips as he dreamed.
“Steve,” Eddie whispered. Steve opened his eyes suddenly. The hand was still on his thigh. He felt his body tighten, the muscles in his core tensing as he realized that Eddie’s hand on his skin wasn’t a dream. “Yeah?” He whispered back. “I want to tell you a secret.” Steve felt his chest hitch, the breath stilling in his body. “My secret is–that I’m scared,” Eddie said, and he sniffed. Steve turned his face to look at his friend, the beautiful boy he had grown so close to. There were tears at the edges of his gentle eyes, his focus on the water in front of them.
Steve sat up, pushing his arms against the rock to force his torso up, leaning slightly into Eddie’s back. Eddie started to pull his hand away from Steve’s thigh, but Steve’s hand moved faster than his mind did, placing his own fingers over Eddie’s to keep them in place. “What are you scared of, Eds?” Eddie sniffed again, blinking rapidly. “I, uh. I don’t know.” The high cheekbones shone red, a blush as Eddie looked down at the water below the two of them. “Come on, Eddie,” Steve said. “Tell me.” He peered into Eddie’s face, searching for a hint of what had upset his friend, what had brought this sudden wave of sadness over their otherwise perfect last day together.
“I think,” Eddie started, pulling in a deep breath. “I’m scared that, when I come home, it won’t be the same.” “What do you mean?” Steve asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion. “I’m scared that when I come back you’re all going to have moved on. Nancy and Robin leave for college next week and you’ll–” Eddie’s throat bobbed and he fell silent. “Eddie,” Steve said, wrapping his other hand around Eddie’s bicep, tightening his fingers over the dark ink on his pale skin. “They’re going to come home for Christmas too. And I’ll still be here.” “Yeah, but,” Eddie said, closing his eyes. “It’s not going to be the same. You’ll probably have a girlfriend by then, and I just–” He swallowed again, hard. “I wish you would go with me, Steve.”
Steve felt his heart stutter in his chest, his breath hitching in his throat. “Why, Eddie?” He whispered. “Why would you want me with you?” Eddie’s eyes opened, the dark pools flicking to look at Steve from under a skeptical brow. “You know why.” “No,” Steve said, drawing his face back slightly as he shook his head, damp strands of hair scattering water over the two of them. “I don’t.” Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes. “As if you don’t know! Steve Harrington, everyone’s high school sweetheart, suddenly can’t tell when someone has a crush on him? I don’t buy that shit for a second, Steve.” “What?” Steve asked, his jaw falling slack as he tried to understand Eddie’s words. “Who has a cru– Oh. Oh.” Eddie turned his head, looking away from Steve as a pink blush flooded over his neck and chest.
Steve watched the blood race under Eddie’s skin, his own heart pumping harder than it had while they were in the water. He tightened his fingers, slightly, over Eddie’s grip on his thigh. “Eds,” he said, his voice soft as he looked at the damp curls draped over the pale shoulders, the dark tattoos, the chain necklace with a guitar pick still slung across his neck even in the water. Eddie turned back to look at him, his eyes cast down over the water as he chewed on his bottom lip. “Eddie, will you look at me?” Eddie didn’t move, didn’t speak as he continued to stare at the water below them.
Steve felt the tension in the air, the electricity. It was the same electricity he had told Dustin about, had tried to tell him to wait for, and he knew that this was the last chance he would ever have to use it. Steve let go of Eddie’s hand on his thigh, his fingers coming up to gently wrap against the narrow point of the jaw of the other boy’s face. He turned his face towards his, lifting his chin slightly as he stared into the warm eyes. “I didn’t know,” Steve said, and Eddie snorted slightly. “I didn’t,” he said, again, “Or I would have done this already.”
Steve leaned in slowly, his eyes on Eddie’s as he watched his dark brown eyes widen, his breathing increase slightly, and when their lips brushed, he watched Eddie’s eyelids slide down, the anxiety and fear disappearing from his face. When Steve closed his own eyes, he felt Eddie’s lips slide into a smile against his and he tightened his fingers against his jaw, tilting his head and long hair back slightly as Eddie’s lips slipped open.
Their hands were delicate, nervous against each other’s skin, brushing each other’s naked shoulders and ribs, Eddie’s fingers brushing fire over Steve’s skin as his fingertips danced over the scars on his hips. Steve slipped his tongue into Eddie’s mouth, dizzy on the taste of coca cola and beer and sunshine and tobacco as his fingers knotted in the damp curls at the base of his neck. When he tugged his hair, slightly, trying to angle Eddie’s head farther up, Eddie gasped slightly, and Steve felt drunk, felt his limbs tingle with the burst of physical feeling in his mouth.
He pulled back, momentarily, staring deep into Eddie’s eyes as Eddie looked at him with concern. “Did I fuck up?” Eddie whispered, anxiety slipping over his face again. Steve shook his head, letting his fingers slide under the chain around Eddie’s throat and tug slightly. “Stay with me, Munson,” Steve said. “Stay here with me.” “Hey man,” Eddie laughed, “No fucking way.” He pressed his mouth to the side of Steve’s neck, making him gasp as his teeth pressed into his skin. He pressed a damp kiss over the tender skin, pulling his head back as he ran his fingers through Steve’s hair. “Come with me instead.”
Steve looked at Eddie in shock. “Come with you? And do what?” Eddie just laughed, shaking his head. “Be my groupie, I guess,” he said. “Come on. See the world with me, Harrington.” Steve just looked at him, shock numbing his brain. Shock at the question. Shock at his hands knotted in his hair. Shock at the tingling in his lips. Eddie laughed again, giving the hair at the nape of Steve’s neck a gentle tug. “We can find something for you to do. You got any rhythm, Harrington? All the famous rockers put their hot chicks on tambourine. Unless you wanna sing backup?” Eddie grinned at him, devilish as he teased him, and Steve felt his own face echo the look back, echo like the way the rocks rising around them echoed the sounds of their laughter.
“Okay,” Steve said, and he felt his heart jump, physically jolt against his skin, at the look that spread over Eddie’s face. He shrugged, sitting back and disentangling his hands from Eddie’s body as he leaned back on his palms. “I’ll go with you. It’s not like my parents are going to know I’m gone,” he said, turning to Eddie. He pulled his lips into his mouth, biting back the grin that threatened to consume him as Eddie’s eyes lit up. “You’re serious?” He asked, leaning into Steve’s face. “You’ll go with me?” Steve nodded, their noses brushing. Eddie pressed a kiss to his lips, Steve’s body arching up to push against him on its own.
The two stayed on that rock for a long time. They finally climbed down from the rock, swimming back to the shore where the girls had sprawled out on towels, almost entirely dry already. As the sun slipped down, bathing them in a liquid golden glow, Robin shot Steve a look. He rolled his eyes, waving her away as she grinned. “I told you, Harrington!” “Told him what?” Nancy asked, sitting up. “I told him to tell Eddie how he felt!” Eddie turned on his heel, staring into Steve’s face with delighted surprise on his face. “Tell me how you feel, Stevie? You were keeping secrets?” Steve laughed, shoving Eddie’s chest slightly, unsurprised when Eddie’s own fingers wrapped around his wrist, keeping his hand over his heart. “You were too, Munson,” he said. Eddie just shook his head, looking over his shoulder to wink at Robin.
“Ladies,” he said, “We’ve got news.” “You’re pregnant,” Robin deadpanned. “I knew Steve wanted a herd of kids, but I didn’t think you two would start on it so fast.” Nancy laughed, covering her mouth with a small hand. “Not yet,” Eddie said, tilting his head as Steve rolled his eyes. “It’s a going-away party for two now.” “What?” Robin asked, her brows sliding together as her mouth held on to a smile. “I asked my boy to go with me. He said yes.” Eddie reached an arm out, wrapping it around Steve’s waist as he preened at the pet name.
Robin stared, slack jawed; Nancy slid the frames of her sunglasses down, her eyebrows sliding up over her forehead. “So,” Nancy said, lying back on her towel with a smirk. “You’re getting that cross country road trip, after all, Stevie.” Steve turned to look at Eddie, his eyes gleaming as he let his head fall on to Eddie’s shoulder. “You’re leaving me?” Robin screeched, completely oblivious to their happiness. “Hey, hey,” Steve said, standing up straight and putting his hands on his hips as he took a step towards her. “Technically, you were leaving me first.”
“For college,” she groaned. “I’m coming back!” “So are we,” Steve said, looking over his shoulder at Eddie, who nodded. “We’ll all come back to Hawkins for Christmas. Plus, they have pay phones on the road, Robin. I’ll still call you.” She pouted for a minute, then looked at Eddie. Suddenly, she pointed at him from her spot on the ground. “You had better take care of him,” she said. “No weed three days in a row or he feels sick. Make sure he eats at least twice a day. Don’t,” she said, menacingly, “let him get a tattoo.” Eddie burst out laughing. “If my baby wants a tattoo, I’m not standing in the way.” He wrapped his arm around Steve’s shoulders, nipping at the exposed skin of his shoulder as Steve blushed. “Maybe my name, right here.”
“Robin,” Steve sighed, reaching a hand up to wrap his fingers in Eddie’s hair behind him. “I do all of that for you. Why would I need someone else to do it for me?” Robin shrugged. “Eddie’s going to be a dangerous influence on you. Look,” she said, pulling the towel off of the plastic covered cake. “He already got you to buy a cake! Buying sugar before noon! And a grocery store cake at that, not even a homemade one.” “You got me a cake?” Eddie asked, nuzzling his face into Steve’s throat as he wrapped his arms around his waist, pressing his still-damp torso to Steve’s back.
“Yeah,” he said. “With candles. So you can make a wish.” Eddie laughed, letting his head lean back. “Do you get wishes for going-away parties?” He asked Nancy, peering his head around Steve’s shoulder and she shook her head. “Definitely just birthdays,” she said. “That’s okay,” Eddie said, pressing his lips against Steve’s cheek before he let them drift back to his ear. “Nothing left to wish for, anyway.”
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Noo 🥺 Don't be insecure about your interests, ever!
I have a few tips and things I do to cope with such things:
1. If I want to write about a fandom, I do a separate blog only for writing so I don't fill my original blog with random stuff that some of my other followers might not be interested in.
2. If I have many thoughts and feelings about a certain fandom and I don't want them on my dashboard where people I know irl might see them, or I don't see them fitting with the original content of my blog, I also make another blog (like this one!).
3. When it comes to speaking about fandoms, irl or here, I speak about it in general, but I don't go into details about ships or thoughts about characters too much, unless I see the other person is on the same page of accepting these things or at least being interested in the fandom.
Like, I also had this before, worrying about how people might react to me being so interested in fandoms and all but I stopped. The thing is, there'll always be people supporting you but also people that find it weird. But if you're insecure about it, you might miss out the chance to meet people with similar interests! I always tell the people around me about what fandoms I'm in and sometimes, there are people who are in the same fandoms and then I find people to talk about them with! Other times, they just say they haven't heard it or don't like it, and that's it. There are also these cases like when I was rewatching Umbrella Academy recently and my mother got to see it as well and at first I was really worried what she's going to think of it because of all these strange and dumb moments and I thought she'll watch an episode and be done with it but she turned out liking it so much that I had to wait for her to come home before continuing the rewatch so she can also watch with me.
Anyway, I'm getting in a ramble a bit so, what I meant to say originally is, you shouldn't be insecure about your interests even if they're strange, because that way you might miss out finding new friends or bonding with people over something! Like, maybe not share all of your thoughts and all about a TV show immediately but testing the waters saying you like it to someone is not something to be insecure about!
Anyway, sorry for this long and unasked for answer but I really just wanted to say there's no need to feel worried about such things so much! Nobody is going to think you're dumb or even if they do, that's their opinion but it might be caused by them liking completely different things that /you/ might be finding dumb yourself! ;)
does anyone else get really insecure about their interests? like I’ve always been like. this person thinks I’m stupid because I like the umbrella academy and the umbrella academy has a lot of really dumb moments. I’m so hesitant to talk about shows I like if there are small plot elements that are kind of silly
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