#sorry that revealed to me in a delusion and i couldn't stop laughing

[name-is-janedoe]

I saw these guys on a station, and they were constantly talking about hunting and how hunters used to put their prey on a hood. And one of them was like "oh that gotta be so fun for a prey to riding on a hood", and the other was like, "wanna try?"

And now they are tying him to the car like

What the fuck

[trashprinceward]

Hello Mandela people, here is a theory I had

So these are some thoughts I had from a theory video I made a while back, that I think might get more reach over here. This a theory with absolutely no bearing, but just thought I'd put it out there anyway. (please note I'm not/never have been in any discords or reddits for TMC, so idk if any of this has already been talked about or proved wrong, so if I'm way off the mark, I'm sorry, haha)

Anyway, here goes. (This is adapted from the video transcript so sorry if it's a little disjointed)

I was thinking about like Mandela catalog stuff and rolling around in my mind. This idea came up just after Mandela Catalyst released, and how that and the end of Vol.4 followed Adam, and Adam being an alternate, and his transformation and things like that.

And that's great and everything, but I just haven't been able to stop thinking about Mark, and what Mark's role was in everything, and what happened to him or more specifically for my theory what didn't happen to him.

Because, you know, the reveal of Adam being an alternate and like the transformation he's going through is all very good horrific stuff but I think a lot of people, like myself included, and I know some other people in the fandom as well were expecting that to happen they saw it coming because of all the threads and the breadcrumbs that Alex had left behind. A lot of people were theorizing it and then you know the confirmation at the end of Vol.4 was like 'yes finally it's paid off'

But this is just a stupid Theory. It's probably nothing but I can't stop thinking about it. About how Mark saw uh the Intruder, Six, when he was young. You know, the story of the scary night when Mark was four. And it's always kind of got to me that that has never been resolved. And we've seen as well like in Exhibition that Mark was stalked by alternates for a while before Caesar actually made the move toeventually like entrap him, and I just wonder why why Mark had this encounter with Six when he was young and then nothing happened. He just got tired and went to sleep the end, and I always kind of laughed at that because it's a very understatedreaction to like seeing a creepy man in your room or whatever.

BUT the lack of reaction is kind of like feeding into the theory that what if Mark was also an alternate, but he never activated. Because it seems that alternates, or at least in the case of Adam (you know we can't expect Adam to be representative of every single alternate, but at least in Adam's case he had no idea he was an alternate, he thought he was human). And I'm thinking that M.A.D., the Metaphysical Awareness Disorder, we've got it all wrong.

People aren't killing themselves because they've been fed information they don't want to know. They are instead doing so because they're realizing their alternates and they are offing themselves before the transformation. We saw in Adam's case in Mandela Catalyst, he was already undergoing his transformation and couldn't take himself out. He couldn't die, alternates can't die. At least as far as we know, not through traditional means anyway.

So what made me think this about M.A.D. is, and I picked up on it the first time around, (in my original reaction video) I pick up on the phrasing that they use of "reverse the delusion". Which is the same phrasing that Lucifer/False Gabriel uses when he says he has to reverse the delusion. So, reversing the delusion isn't snapping people out of M.A.D. it's them surviving the process of into turning into an alternate without taking themselves out. So you've got like the 97% death rate of people realizing they're an alternate and then offing themselves like Mark did, and then the three percent who survive "reverse the delusion" (the delusion being their humanity) and go on to transform into an alternate.

And it kind of it kind of makes sense as well because if you think about it, in Intruder Alert (?), it says that something like 3000 children have gone missing from across the various counties. Now if the children have been taken by the Intruder, if they are all replaced with an alternate, that would be 3000+ alternates. And not only would Mandela County and the surrounding counties be overwhelmed, a lot more area beyond that would be overwhelmed as well. But if there's only a 3% success rate of alternates transforming and going on to survive, that's a much smaller number of alternates that actually survive the process. And it's not so much a loss to the alternates because as far as they're concerned, the original children are already gone. They're already dealt with so they're not technically losing numbers. But the three percent that survive, theyare gaining numbers technically, so it's still kind of like a net win for the alternates.

So yeah I just I just wanted to sort of like get this out because the thought won't leave my head it just keeps on going on and on. So maybe Mark was taken by Six as a child and replaced by an alternate. He didn't realize because apparently alternates don't realize until they "wake up". The alternate Caesar wasn't able to get to him to activate his transformation so he was able to basically off himself before the transformation took place, or at least that's my theory. Because otherwise why have that encounter with Six when Mark was a child, you know? Why would that be relevant? Why would it visit him as a child and not take him away, leave him alone for like 17 years, and then come back and kill him later? Why would that happen?

The way it adds up to me M.A.D., or at least M.A.D. as it's been presented to the public seems to have been misinterpreted a lot, or forgotten about a lot through much of the discussion and the theories and such, and I think it's a lot more important and a lot more relevant than most of the fandom discussion or the theory discussion tends to give it credit for, and I think it's a lot more integral to what's going on than we think.

It's probably nothing, it's probably me just reading into this way too much, but it's it's a theory that I thought I would share with you

[peterstrk]

Idk what it is maybe it’s just start of some hurt/comfort or angst drabble. I was just so bored and listened to “Narcissus”by Paris Paloma and this was my inspiration. Anyways.

Starker.

Tony and Peter were dating secretly almost 7 months now. And Peter starts pondering that Tony is ashamed of him. Yes,Tony has his own reasons to keeping it secret and at first he even agreed with them but now when they are dating secretly almost a year and he doesn’t see any hint of it changing. He is frustrated, he loves Tony and he thought that this is mutual but now he is not quite sure. At first they agreed to keep it slow and reveal their relationships after some time, they did it to spend time with each other a bit more and don’t be interrupted by others. Now Peter thinks that maybe all of it was his delusions and Tony didn’t even wanted to date at first place and did it only cause of pity ugh it’s awful. Peter shouldn’t have to confess his feelings for Mr Stark, he could’ve live without their relationships but he could not live without Mr Stark in his live. And now he is sitting in the lab all alone, he was waiting for Tony to came because today is their usual lab day. But Tony haven’t shown up yet.

-Friday,where is Mr..i mean Tony?- he quire and was surprised by how evenly his voice sounded as if he is not in distress now

-Boss is not available now, I’m sorry Peter.- responded her robotic voice and if he doesn’t know better he would say that she was sorry for him.

_ Oh.. hm it’s..it’s ok Fri, I’m just gonna.. I’m.. yes yes I’m gonna go..-he responded briefly with faint voice.

Peter was on his way out of lab, he didn’t see why he should be here…it’s not like the owner itself would care to show up. Suddenly he stopped. His face were pale, and picture of pain were painted on his pretty face features. He opened and closed his mouth as if he had something to say…finally words came out of his mouth.

-Fri, can u maybe record my words and share them with Ton…Mr Stark?- he sounded unsure but persistent.

-Of course, Peter. What would you like me to convey?- she somehow managed to sound softer.

-Khm..yes uhm Hi Ton..Mr Stark, I know u don’t want to be in relationships anymore and..and it’s totally fine. Who even would want to date the guy like me? the nobody from Quince?..-last words he muttered mostly to himself than to anybody else. But sensitive trackers of Friday caught all of it.

-And I’m so so sorry that you had to endure me and my silly delusions..I was so deep into you almost too deep that I even didn’t notice that you don’t want me here..and maybe never did. And I know that you wouldn’t laugh at me you are too good to laugh, but Mr Stark maybe I would prefer this above being pitied. Mr Stark I..I will try to get over of my stupid feelings I promise but please please don’t… don’t leave my life. I wouldn’t… couldn’t do it without you Mr Stark. -he finished his monologue in tearing voice and left the lab attempting to hold his tears back but without succeeding in it.

Tony was busy today Pepper just could not left his side at least for a moment the number of meetings he attended are getting ridiculous...And not he is not exaggerating just ask Friday. He thinks that he must have been forgotten something he frowned. Tony has this awful feeling in his gut that he has everytime he forgets something important. He wonders whatever it might be? Ugh he just couldn't remember. Huh maybe it is something that will help him to get rid of the meetings for a while? -Friday babe tell me that u have something to help me escape this charade!-he pleaded. -Maybe your usual laboratory days, with shall i remind you, your boyfriend might be relevant reason boss?-her respond was cold as winters in the Alaska. Suddenly Tonys breath catches and millions of thoughts going through his mind but the most coherent was "Oh, i did it again i am sorry Peter" and he was but he was also smart enough, they called him genius for a reason, to understand that being sorry won't help him this time. -Fri, is Peter still in lab?- he quire with sigh when he finally exhales already thinking about the ways to get up to his boyfriend. -No, he is not but he left you a message should i play you this boss?-she sounded even more cold and distant now but Tony knows that he has only himself to blame at the end it was his idea to build her and he knows that he screwed everything with Pete now. -Sure Fri, go ahead- he told as he was leading his way towards his lab. -Khm..yes uhm Hi Ton..Mr Stark, I know u don’t want to be in relationships anymore and..and it’s totally fine. Who even would want to date the guy like me? the nobody from Quince?..- What did he mean that Tony doesn't want to be in relationships anymore? It is not true and his heart is aching to hear so much pain in voice of his boyfriend and more painful is that he caused it. Peter being just ordinary guy from Quince is not true either Pete should have known that he is incredible and Tony is lucky that he can call Peter his boyfriend. Tony knew that he will screw up this relationship too that's why he was hesitant to get into this at first place ugh he should've talked with Peter but talking about feelings is not his strongest ability. - And I’m so so sorry that you had to endure me and my silly delusions..I was so deep into you almost too deep that I even didn’t notice that you don’t want me here..and maybe never did. And I know that you wouldn’t laugh at me you are too good to laugh, but Mr Stark maybe I would prefer this above being pitied. Mr Stark I..I will try to get over of my stupid feelings I promise but please please don’t… don’t leave my life. I wouldn’t… couldn’t do it without you Mr Stark.- "Oh, Peter" was Tony's first thought when he heard the whole monologue

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.s English is not my first language, and it’s my first attempt in writing so please don’t be too harsh!)

[asteriasfallingstarsandtears]

A very rough piece of when Graha left the 8th Calamity Timeline and brought himself and the Tower to the First and a chance meeting between worlds. I've taken some liberties and this is just a first draft.

Lost in the Sea

2427 words

G'raha x WoL references, Azemet references

G'raha, Hydaelyn, referenced named WoL, referenced Hades(Emet-Selch)

CW: Black Rose death, grief, threats of harm

It had worked, in a sense. G'raha Tia couldn't deny that the Tower and him had left the Source, the world he had been born in. The Tycoon had been a superb creation, the last invention of Cid and Nero before their passing, and realised by Bigg’s descendant. The Tower had also been fantastic, he was fairly certain that the fact he and it hadn't been completely destroyed was because it had formed a stasis around itself again.

The royal lineage and the Tower just survive above all. There were no more heirs. 

Just G'raha, and the Tower, and they were both trapped horribly in the Aetherial Sea.

It should have worked, there shouldn't have been this stop, the Rift and the Sea were so entwined, to go through one was to risk the other. 

And so, he sat at the door, horribly locked against everyone (and him) once more. Only this time he hadn't done it.

He slammed his fist against his leg, cursing himself. It was too much, he was the thinnest of Allag's bloodline left, and while the Tower listened to him, he didn't have the power to supplement it. He had been the weak point in this whole affair, centuries of work and effort, and he had failed before even starting.

There was a knock at the door and he frowned, believing it his imagination.

Another. “What in the world?”

He stood and laid his hand against the door, ordering it to open with a force of incredible will. If he was going mad, then let the Sea take him, he wouldn't be able to do the job anyway.

The doors slowly slid open and revealed a tall pale woman clothed in brilliant white robes. He stared up at her in disbelief, having to crane his head up considerably to meet her gaze. Had he ever seen anyone this tall before? She towered over even the tallest people he had known, making Biggs and Nero look like they were his height and he looked absolutely tiny compared to her.

What did one say to what must be an avatar of death or the delusion of his failing mind? Hello? What did it matter, he had clearly lost his mind and the Sea would claim him soon. 

“Hello, I'd offer to let you in, but it's rather a mess inside.” Her face shifts from placid peacefulness to full mirth, laughing boisterously as though he had said the most clever of jests. He stared at her, utterly perplexed at whatever his mind had conjured in these final moments. “If you don't mind, you're welcome inside, I guess?”

Her laughter quieted down into a giggle before she collected herself and stepped within the Tower’s bounds. She looked around as though she was someone who had been here before and was reacquainting herself with it. He supposed if she was some sort of guide to the afterlife it was possible she had, many people had died in the Tower when Allag fell. 

“I hope you don't find me terribly rude.” He began, trying to catch her attention. “But can I ask what you're doing here? I know what I'm doing here, but I don't know how anyone else can survive out there. And who are you?”

She stood there as though she hadn't heard him and then gave herself a little shake before turning back to him. “Forgive me, I was remembering someone I once knew. She lived in this Tower and died here, but I was here to catch her before she was lost, thankfully.”

“Uh…” This was a bizarre conversation and he felt completely out of sorts, as though he was supposed to know what she talked about but didn't. “I don't think anyone has died here since we opened the Tower the first time, and before that it would have been millenia. I'm sorry for your loss?” 

She smiled sadly. “It was, but that was then, and she has been lost for good this time.” Her face hardened as she looked at him and then knelt down so her face was on his level. He started at the irritation and anger on her face and the glowing prismatic blue eyes she had. He had seen those twice before, different colours, but so similar. He became very afraid, this woman had to be an Ascian. “And I have you to thank for that, G'raha Tia, heir of Allag.”

He swallowed heavily, not sure what to say. Had they learned of their plan to save the Warrior of Light? To stop the Calamity before it started? To undo the tragedy written in the Star? Would she destroy him and the Tower?

“Now tell me, little one, why I shouldn't throw you out of this Tower and condemn your soul to the deepest pits of the Underworld for your transgressions?” She seemed to grow bigger in front of him, or he grew smaller, a child being chastened. He knew who she spoke of, Azemya preserve him, she was talking about the very person he was trying to save, to unwrite her death and subsequent fall from Light from history's uncaring pages.

He briefly saw a flash of the last moment he saw her, horrible gurgles in her chest as she coughed up dark congealed blood and poisonous gas. The death she had been denied two centuries before by the man she had called Hades catching up with her in his darkest moment.

The moment he had failed Hades’ test, when he had looked back when he was told not to. He was told to not look until they had both left the city. He should have trusted her to tell him when she was safe, but he had been so excited, so relieved to have righted this wrong that he had believed whoever had tapped him on the shoulder and said she was there.

He had looked behind him.

She was still within the old gate of Garlemald city, the last barrier to cross.

And she had died 

Horribly.

He knelt down before her, pressing his head down against the cold stone flooring of the Tower.

“I don't deserve your mercy, only that I am trying to fix what I broke.” His voice is small, cracking with grief as he watched her die over and over in his mind. The guilt that had eaten him for two full years since that day, since he had buried himself in his work with Biggs and readied himself for his own sacrifice. “Please, I deserve to die, but I need to continue.”

The woman's face peers at him for horrible long seconds before it softens and she pats his head gently. “She told me she trusted you and what you planned, and so will I.”

“How do you…? How did she…?” He didn't know what to say, Mina had died in the ruins of Garlemald that Hades had made his own well before G'raha had returned to the Tower and learned of the time travel plan from Biggs. “But she's dead, she can't have known. I didn't know.”

She tilts her head curiously. “Is she? Lost, certainly, but none of us ever truly die. Even your own soul, were you to rejoin the Sea now, it would merely rest and remake itself in preparation of rebirth. But our souls, those who are beyond the cycle of death, we do not end so easily. There are certain souls who do not return to the Sea if they do not wish them to, and now, hers is likewise removed from the cycle of life and death.”

His heart sank. What he had done has irrevocably destroyed her chances of rebirth? 

“I'm trying to prevent it from happening.” He whispered, his heart being ground into even finer shards as he imagined the torment her soul must be in. “I couldn't stop it there, but I can try and stop it from ever happening in any world, in any timeline.”

“Of course you are, she told me you would, so I waited and watched, wondering if it would be this time or next time. Normally by now I would have given up on a timeline but this time…” she paused, looking him over thoughtfully. “This time, I'm glad I waited. The pieces were right, the Eighth Calamity had occurred, the Crystal Tower was occupied, Hades had captured her soul. I knew it had to be this time, it had to be the timeline she told me of.” She shook her head. “I would that I could have reached out to her, but Hades was too thorough in trapping her and breaking our bond.”

“Your bond?” His mind raced, trying to remember who she had a bond with. A horrible idea crossed his mind, but surely not. She didn't look like a Goddess, like he had always imagined one to look, or like the artwork of all Gods and Goddesses he had ever seen. 

The corner of her lips twitch in amusement and he peers closer at her. He cannot deny she appears as a woman, a very, very tall woman, but a woman nonetheless, as though someone had taken the template or a hyur and made it very, very large. 

But she had the same kind of eyes as Hades did and as Mina’s eyes had been turning into. 

What did it mean? Why did she have the same features as the Ascians he had come to know?

“Do you know who I am yet?” She asked gently.

“I don't know how it's possible.” 

Her form flickered, the woman turning into something larger and more impressive. He had the hazy vision of flowing lines of fabric, hair and crystalline wings before she resumed the form she had first appeared as. 

“This is really quite ingenious, the others don't give you enough credit. They never did, for all you carry the spark of what we were, and the ability to grow beyond us, but they only see you as broken and dull.” She looks around, shaking her head sadly. “I'll say that Hades did create something beautiful, he was always good at making such things. A shame that he turned it to such destructive purposes. If he had only worked with you mortals for good…” 

She turned back to him. “I am Hydaelyn, G'raha Tia, though I come to you as I once was.” She laid a hand on his head and he felt healing warmth and light spread through him, imbuing him with hope and purpose. “I said I wouldn't interfere, but it is imperative you complete your task, and I wished to meet you, to help you, to guide you to the First Reflection where the fate of your world will be determined. If you can succeed there, I will know mankind is ready, and in being ready, the Star will be saved.”

“It seems so hopeless here. I'm trapped, I failed to bring the Tower through the Rift to the First.” 

She laughs again, mirthful once more. “Only because I asked the Tower to wait.”

“You did what?” It had worked? He hadn’t failed, Hydaelyn herself had reached out from the Aetherial Sea and plucked him and it from their travels. “But why?”

“I wanted to know the one she spoke of.” She smiled. “I recognized your soul, you know, I may not have Hades’ eyes, but after so many long eons in the Sea, I have come to recognize those who resonate most with hers in every lifetime.”

His eyes widened in shock. “Then the scholars are right, we reincarnate?”

“In a sense. Whatever form you wear, you are as you were once, but that is a story for another day.” She peered back out the open door and gave a soft sigh. “My time is nearing, I will need to abandon this timeline now, and I will follow you to the next.”

“What?” 

She smiled and patted his head soothingly. “Worry not, the people here are not abandoned, I have left contingency plans in every one I have left. The next one must succeed, G’raha Tia, or else there will be no more.”

“I don’t even know where to start.” The task had been daunting enough, but to know this might be the last time he could ever try? The weight of responsibility was crushing. If he failed here, would it mean the end to those he had left behind? “She may not even know me in this one, how can I get her to trust me?”

“The only certainty I can give is that you will know what to do, even bereft of the memories of this meeting.” A gentle warmth began to spread through him and he felt as though he was slowly drifting off to sleep. “I’m sorry, I cannot risk Hades knowing that I have a hand in this. You will have a very long century ahead of you sweet boy, in which you will fight with everything you have.” A pause as he slumped to the ground, eyes struggling to remain open. “You will believe you passed out during the spell but it will be successful and you will be on the First where you will gather the survivors. Do not give up, no matter how terrible it seems.”

When he woke he hissed as pervasive light struck his eyes from the open door of the Tower. He had the feeling he was forgetting something but he couldn’t remember what as he stood, stumbling towards the foreign world outside of the Tower. He shaded his eyes as he gazed outwards, marvelling at the strange scene before him.

“Purple trees aren't what I expected.” He chuckled, laying a hand against the Tower. “Thank you, we made it.” There was a gathering crowd of people outside the Tower who stared at him and it in apprehension. “Hello! I’ve come from far away, can anyone tell me what has happened?”

And so began his journey as what the people came to call the Crystal Exarch. A long, lonely journey of a hundred years in which he and the Tower fought to survive in the barren aether of this Reflection. He met friends and companions over the years, withdrawing further and further into himself as he bound his body and soul closer to the Tower.

Until finally, it was almost time, the two worlds slowly coming together to match once more, when the conditions were right for the Reflection to rejoin… or heal.

And he intended to heal it.

[opalesense]

more than friends

kaeya & gn!reader

2k words • ~15 min. read

summary: feeling down in the dumps on a lonely valentine’s day evening, you are met with a pleasant surprise from your close friend, kaeya.

warnings: just pure lovesick fluff!!  shy kaeya my beloved... <3

notes: i defrosted this draft from valentine’s day aahhh hope you like it!! ;^; p.s. shoutout if you can spot his canon voice lines in this hehehe

SITTING WITH MY BACK ON THE FOUNTAIN WALL and watching the rotating blades of the windmills in Mondstadt was not how I expected to spend my evening on Valentine's Day.

   To be honest, Valentine's Day was never that big of a deal to me.  For the past few years, I always considered Valentine's Day to be a day where vendors could get a boost of profit by exploiting the gift-giving aspect of the holiday and selling their wares to cheesy couples who wouldn't know any better.  Why was there a dedicated day to be sweet to your significant other?  Couldn't special gifts be given at any other time of the year?

  Despite my indifference to Valentine's Day, I couldn't help but feel a little lonely this year.  My back purposely faced the couples of Mondstadt who would walk by now and then on their way to their dates and instead I had windmills to accompany me along with a book to pass the time.  I figured my evening stroll outside wouldn't make me feel so disappointed in myself, but I was proven sorely wrong.  I couldn't even look at other people today without feeling sorry for myself.

   "[Y/N]?" a familiar voice drew closer behind me, interrupting my lament and startling me.  "What are you doing here all alone?"

   I turned my head to see my close friend and neighbor Kaeya approaching me, carrying a small leather pack along with his sheathed sword on his waist.  I realized he probably finished his shift at the Knights of Favonius headquarters and was just about to head home.  The sight of him eased some of my worries knowing that despite my usual solitude, at least I would talk to one person today.  "Just reading a book," I held up the cover of my book for him to see.  He gave a small nod to the title as I put it back down into my lap.  "How did you even spot me here?"

   "I can see you from my office," he pointed at a window on the wall of the headquarters, "You chose quite an odd spot for reading, dear friend. You must be uncomfortable on the ground like that.”

   I nervously laughed, not wanting to admit that I sat behind this fountain to avoid looking at how much fun everyone else was having.  My gaze turned to the sky, a vibrant orange that now began fading into a shadow of dark blue sprinkled with stars.  Dusk was approaching. “I suppose it is getting a little late for reading, now that I think about it.  I think I might head home now."

   "Allow me to accompany you on your walk home.  I’m headed that way, after all," he quickly offered as I began to prop myself up to my feet.  He held out his hand to help me on my way up, the sudden physical contact sending a shiver down my spine.  As clearly touch deprived as I was, my hand quickly pulled away once I was standing and dusted off my clothes, which were wrinkled from sitting for so long today.

   "You are too kind, Kaeya," I grinned, earning a grin back from him.  Maybe this is my loneliness speaking for me, but I swear that smile might have made my heart skip a beat.  Although I may have had a crush on Kaeya for the past few months, there was no way I’d ever let those thoughts resurface now.  I've done a good job of repressing the feelings for so long, whether I was around him or not.  At least, I thought I did.

   As we walked, it suddenly dawned on me that the feelings never truly went away.  They were persistent for months, despite being suppressed.  He was my closest friend for quite some time now.  So maybe it was a sign that it was meant to be...

   Chills ran down my spine at this realization.  And once the truth had settled in, the feelings I thought I had managed to stow away suddenly flooded my mind in a storm of emotion.  The more we talked during the walk home, the more eager my heart was to open up and let the thought of him fill the cavernous, lonely void inside.  My eyes nervously turned to our feet, which stepped together in perfect sync.  My attention darted to the hand at his side, which I ached to touch once more.  The more I tried to fight this longing, to forget about it and keep it isolated, the more it fought back in an effort to stay alive.

   "[Y/N]?" his sultry voice snapped me out of my delusion.  Do NOT let your emotions take control of you, I scolded myself.

   "Sorry," I shuffled my feet towards his figure, which had stopped a few meters away.  The world seemed to stop when I was lost in thought, and with each step I took towards him, the world slowly resumed from where I mentally left it.

   "Is something wrong?" he asked, now concerned.  "You know you can talk to me."

   "No, no.  I'm fine," I gripped my book, fighting the urge to break in front of him.  "I'm just a little lost in my thoughts."

   "Well then, what's on your mind?"

   "Kaeya, you won't make fun of me if I’m being honest with you right?" I started to speak without thinking.  No, no, no!  What are you about to say?!

   "What makes you think I would?  C’mon, [Y/N].  We joke around a lot but you know I'm good with secrets."

   What are you doing?!  Don’t fall under pressure like this!

   "Well...  I’ve felt quite lonely today.  A little part in me hurts to see so many people enjoying Valentine's Day, knowing fully well that I live alone and spend most of my days alone...   I guess what I’m trying to say is that it was very kind of you to go out of your way to talk to me today, Kaeya.  It means a lot more to me than you know."

   The silence that followed that regurgitation of thoughts was lethal.  Kaeya didn't even stop.  We just kept walking.  I ignored the instant regret that pounded the walls in my head.

   "So you didn't have any plans today?" he asked, as if he had just ignored everything I told him.

   "Not at all.  I was taking a stroll to find a good reading spot for today but seeing so many couples together...  I guess it was like pouring salt into the wound.  That's why I was sitting turned away from everything, if that answers your question from earlier."

   Now you've just told him too much.  If he didn't already think you were sad and lonely before, he definitely thinks so now.

   "You shouldn't isolate yourself like that, [Y/N].  We could've– forget it, actually," he chuckled and rested his hand on the back of his neck as we finally approached our residential complex.

   "Hey, spit it out!" I nudged him with my elbow, "I poured out my thoughts for you, don't get all shy now.  It's your turn."

   We stopped at my front door, exchanging small chuckles.  The space between us was killing me. If only I could get enveloped by his warm embrace now... No!

   "How about I tell you later?  Meet me here in around ten minutes."

   "What?!" I scoffed, "Now you’re just toying with me."

   "Ten minutes," he gave me one last grin and a short wave before jogging away towards his own house.  I shook my head as I turned the key to my door, feeling the slamming of my heart against my ribs and the sloppy mix of awe, nervousness, and regret boiling in my stomach.  His smile was frozen inside my mind like a photograph capturing a memory. It hurt to like him this much.

   A knock on my door ten minutes later pulled me away from tending to my plants on my balcony.  I set the watering can down and rushed to the door, straightening out my clothes once more before opening it.  Contrary to my expectations, Kaeya stood in the doorway with a shy grin, his hands obviously hiding something behind his back.

   "I thought you were joking when you said ten minutes," I scoffed and crossed my arms, looking up at him to meet a pair of soft eyes.

   "Still don't have plans for tonight?" his eyebrows raised with the question.

   "No.  What, are you about to take me out on a date or something?" I said in jest.  He chuckled and uncrossed his arms behind his back with slight hesitation before revealing a dainty bouquet of calla lilies tied with a silver ribbon.  My jaw dropped slightly in shock with the sight of the charming white petals.

   "I am, actually," his voice was gentler and sweeter than usual.  "These are for you."

   He motioned for me to take the bouquet, which I gladly accepted.  The subtle fragrance reminded me of his own scent, which made me smile.  I secretly wished my entire house would smell like this unforgettable aroma – this unforgettable man.

   "[Y/N]," his words were laced with hesitation, "I have been waiting weeks to tell you this but...  you are constantly on my mind.  Whenever I see you my heart jumps and..."

   He chuckled with nervousness.  That grin never fails to make my chest light up.

   "...and I know you're not going to believe me because you say I smooth talk everyone, but I promise you, [Y/N].  I know you see that I’m nervous right now – that doesn't happen to me with anyone else.  This feeling hasn't gone away for months.”  Instant regret suddenly painted his face, which I quickly took notice of.  I stepped closer to him and lifted my hand to gently cup his warm, blushing cheek.  It was my way of telling him to keep talking without interrupting him.

   "[Y/N]..." he blushed more at the touch and sighed, "you are so special to me and... I’ll get straight to the point. I want to be more than friends. I really mean it.”

   He stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited eagerly for my response.  I was no longer thinking properly.  My heart had taken over my mind, and for once, it was for my benefit.

   "Kaeya," my voice cracked with a million emotions at once, "you have no clue how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.  I am so in love with you it makes me sick," I admitted lightheartedly.

   He laughed with relief, taking another step closer to me and shrinking the space between us.  He lifted his hand to grab mine and intertwined our fingers together.  The mood shifted from nerve wrecking intensity to reassurance and gentleness the instant our palms met.  He caressed my hand with his gloved thumb for reassurance, chasing all my troubles away.  "I promise I will never let you feel alone ever again."

   We stood there staring into each other's eyes for a few moments, exchanging so many mutual emotions in mere seconds.  A blush began to creep up my face as well when he gave my hand a squeeze accompanied with a proud smile.

   "Well, now that we're both blushing messes in love with each other, how about we finally go out tonight?"  Our friendly dynamic finally returned to clear the thickness in the air once he broke the silence.  "I have to admit, I was feeling a little lonely myself and was just going to drink at the tavern with some of the other Knights tonight.”

   "Not anymore, I hope?"

   "Definitely not.  I’d rather spend the evening holding your hand and taking a stroll through the city so everyone knows I’m finally yours."

   This man sure knows how to say the right thing.  I glanced at the bouquet in my arms, partly to hide my reddened face but also to ask, "Could I put these in a vase first?  They're beautiful, by the way. I really love calla lilies.”

   "Oh yes, of course. But they’re not as beautiful as you, cutie," Kaeya said with no reluctance.

 There's the flirty Kaeya that I know.

 I let out a shy laugh as he let go of my hand, the loss of touch making me pout.  As I turned to put the flowers away, he leaned on the doorframe and let out a deep breath.

    "Well, I'll be here.  Don't make me wait too long, now."