#sorry people just don't know how to Consume properly and it frustrates me

[swan2swan]

Always flabbergasted with people who say "Soyona was just so two-dimensional in the movie, I didn't like it"...she was there for three scenes. Five if we're counting different sets. She's in a car, she's on a tarmac, she's in an alley, she's in a garage, she's in someone's apartment. That's it. Five scenes, probably five minutes of screentime.

Sorry we couldn't get into her backstory (Dichen wrote it down and everything), but she's built on costume desgin, presence, and her little laser device. All of which were iconic and memorable--I feel like it would be hard to forget her in that film. If you did, it's probably just because she was only in it for about a twelfth of its runtime. A fast drive-thru will have you in and out in a more proportional chunk of your lunch break.

[sgojoenthusiast]

needy.

✧.* miguel o’hara x reader

summary:

miguel is suffering with the side effects of his vampirism: the insatiable hunger. you, a doctor, will stop at nothing to help him, no matter what. it’s your job, afterall.

cw: smut, biting, lowkey vampire sex, rough, i didnt do amazing in my gcse spanish course so i’m sorry for the rough attempt at miguel speaking spanish LMAO, hardly proof read mb, bit of oral (f receiving), mentions of blood, pain and injury. fem reader.

word count: 2.1k

likes, comments and reposts are deeply appreciated! <3 enjoy.

-`♡´-

He couldn’t help it. He couldn’t resist. His brain felt like it was begging to break out of his skull. Everything hurt, but it wasn’t the kind of pain he could turn to you for help with.

It was the kind of pain that stemmed from the unfortunate bite all those years ago. A pain that derived from a never-ending hunger within him, resulting in constant hunger and sharpened fangs.

“Miguel, how many times do I have to say it? It’s my job. It’s what I'm paid to do! Just let me help you and we can-”

“No.” he cut you off sharply. When he had hired you after a particularly nasty fight that ended in a lot of spidermen injured but there was a lack of medics to help, he didn’t realise everything you did or said would have so much of an affect on him. If he had known, he would’ve never even looked in your direction because, god, you were intoxicating. “No puedo más, mierda. [i can’t anymore, fuck]. You can’t help me, okay? Just go home.” He seethed.

He wasn’t angry with you, never you. He was angry at how he had to turn your sweet words and caring touch away just because he couldn’t risk hurting you.

“You’re so frustrating, Miguel. you never let me help you.” He stood with his back to you, because he knew that if he looked behind him and saw you standing with your arms folded, a cute pout on your lips and the smooth skin of your neck on display, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back anymore.

If he ever came close to hurting you, even if somehow the domino effect of something he did led to you getting injured, he would never forgive himself for as long as he lived. You were only human, you weren’t a spider like the rest of them. You were fragile, and couldn’t protect yourself as well as you could save others. 

“You should know by now I won't stop until I get what I want.” you began walking up behind him. “You’re clearly struggling with something. your breathing is heavy, you haven’t been walking or talking properly since you came back from your mission.” a sudden realisation popped into your brain. “You didn’t hit your head on your mission today, did you? Miguel- you told me there wasn’t a scratch on you, I can’t help you if you’re lying to me.”

Finally, he turned around to face you, his head hung low but he could see every inch of your perfect body. No longer could he restrain himself from the all-consuming thirst he felt as he flashed his fangs and suddenly appeared in front of you, pinning you against the wall.  “No quiero ayuda. [I don't want your help]. I just want it to stop.”

You tilted your head up at him. There wasn’t an ounce of fear in your eyes despite your position and he felt his heart stop. “You aren’t scared?” He breathed out. His eyes were wide and red. His heart was beating increasingly fast and his throat was getting dry.

He was so used to being the one people would cower around. Yet with you, you always seemed to defy his expectations. He stood in front of you, restraining himself from killing you, and yet you had barely even blinked.

You moved your hair out of the way of your neck, causing him to try and push himself away from you but you grabbed his wrist before he could. “It’s my job to help you. That’s why I'm here. So let me help you.”

He found it so hard to disobey you when you looked up at him so gently. Yet it was that look that reminded him of his affection towards you and made him shake his head profusely in denial. He refused to hurt you, even when you asked him to.

You pulled him by his wrist, closer to you, tempting him in as he complied thoughtlessly. His mind was reeling with the thought that it was your hand touching his wrist. It was your hand that slowly traced up his back and it was your fingers that threaded through his hair at that moment. Slowly, you guided his head down towards your open neck as every doubt inside his mind froze against his will. All of his morals disappeared. Everything he stood by, his dedication to protecting you, gone within a minute of you delicately caressing him.

“Please, Miguel, let me help you.”

When you pleaded with him so innocently, when your words slipped so tenderly from your pretty lips, he could no longer hold himself back. The shackles he’d chained himself to for so long, the restraints he’d built with his bare hands, crumbled like castles.

His sharp fangs sunk themselves into the crook of your neck and you whimpered slightly in pain, biting your lip.

Miguel lost himself in the taste of you as he forced you up harder against the wall. Still, it wasn’t enough. He needed his entire body against yours. He grabbed your leg, wrapping it around his waist as he continued to slowly suck the blood from your neck.

His hands pawed against you and massaged your hips. You felt yourself growing increasingly more wet at the feeling of him pressed up so close against you with his lips against your neck.

Somehow, the pain faded as you got used to it and all you could feel was the sensation you got as he ground himself against you, overpowered with need and moaning into your neck.

His head was spinning as his blood pumped vigorously. He’d never experienced such a high, such an addictive drug that devoured him whole and swallowed him completely.

You could feel how much he needed this. The feeling of peace and pleasure overshadowed the one of pain, yet, as you felt yourself go faint, you began to shake yourself out of the trance his lips against your neck put you in. In an odd way, you’d let him drink from you forever if it meant the feeling of his skin against yours.

You tapped his waist, urging him off you as he withdrew.

You placed your hand against your neck as a sudden pang of soreness washed over you. However, the sight before you was one you’d never forget as you looked up to meet his eyes. His lips stained with your blood before he wiped it away sent a strange sensation down your back as you closed your legs.

“Thank you, mi dulce niña. [my sweet girl].” he took your face between his thumb and index finger. Your faces were unbearably close. The desire to taste your own blood on his lips consumed you as your eyes flickered between his and his lips.

You stood against the wall of the empty hallway to his room in silence, your bodies begging for each other yet your mouths too shy to make it known.

Instead, he opted for silently taking you down the dimly lit corridor to his room, his fingers intertwined with yours.

The second his door closed, your back was against it. His lips finally pressed against yours as you sighed in contentment. Once again, your leg was hiked up as he caressed the supple skin of your thigh.

A rough yet gentle hand made its way up to your face as he ran his thumb up and down against your cheek. “I need you so bad. You don’t know what you’ve done to me. Everyday, I think about you. Your lips, your voice, your smile, your hips. I can’t fucking get enough of you and it kills me that I cant physically be as close to you as I want to be.” he murmured against your lips whilst you breathed shaky breaths against his.

You didn’t know what to say, or how to put your feelings into words because he had already summed it up so perfectly for you. “I can’t get enough of you either.”

He carried you to the bed and placed you down, his touch never once leaving your skin except to take his suit off.

Your hand ran across the scars of his chest, some you had fixed up yourself, up to his neck where you pulled him against you once more. He struggled to get your uniform off quickly with the continuous kiss and lack of sense as the thought of you naked beneath him fogged up his mind.

Miguel broke the kiss, and the sight of you with your hair splayed out across the mattress, skin glistening and your eyes half-lidded with lust had him weak in the knees as his dick grew harder against your thigh.

The moonlight peaked out past the gaps of his curtains, highlighting your frame and making him desperate.

He began to kiss down your body, leaving marks across your collarbone where he would occasionally bite.

He sucked and licked your nipples gently as you writhed beneath his touch, desperately yearning for more of his rough touch.

“I need you, miguel.”

“Patient now, mi dulce niña. [my sweet girl]” he replied, looking up at you from between your legs as he slowly began kissing down towards where you needed him so badly. He stroked your thighs and nipped at them harshly, yet the pain merged so beautifully with the pleasure that it all became one big blur.

He asked you to be patient, but after so long of longing stares and discreet touches, being patient was the last thing on your mind as you bucked your hips up, itching for his touch.

“Niña mala [bad girl]. What did I just tell you?” he snarled.

“Please, Miguel, I'm begging you. I’ve waited so long- I can’t be patient anymore.” you pleaded with him. It seemed to be enough to convince him as he brought your hips up to his face and flicked his tongue skillfully against your pussy as you gasped surprisingly.

He moved his tongue rhythmically, snatching pleas and moans from your lips. It wasn’t too long before he slid in one of his fingers... then another. He thrusted them inside you relentlessly, praising you for taking what he was giving you without another complaint.

His tongue and his fingers combined clouded your senses and made you feel as though nothing - no one - would ever come close to satisfying you so well. However, just as you clenched around him, he pulled out. You whined and cried for him to stop playing around, but he simply ignored you.

Miguel needed to feel you come around his dick if you were going to come anywhere. He needed you both to finish together. He craved the feeling of your bodies merging together in that haze of relief and exhaustion before he pulled out.

He moved back up to your face and your eyes locked; a feeling rushed over you that made your heart swell. You don’t think you could ever get enough of him.

He grabbed his painfully hard dick, stroking it against your folds. You bucked against him hopelessly. Luckily, he took the hint and slid himself somewhat smoothly inside of you, though the pain of the stretch was inevitable.

Your hands immediately went to his back, gripping on as if it would save you. Miguel groaned at the pain as he pulled back slightly and thrusted harshly back in.

He noticed the bite marks on your neck, and the blood that still gradually fell from it due to the lack of treatment. He leaned down, licking the blood up and moaning as he pounded himself into you savagely.

Everything was overwhelming. The feeling of him licking and sucking the blood from your neck, the pain of your hands clawing down his back, the unrelenting pummelling inside of you and the sounds of skin against skin and voices intertwining in the air.

It sent you both spiralling.

“ ‘m g’nna- come, Miguel.” you heaved out.

His hand trailed down to your aching pussy as he slid a finger against your clit and began rubbing viciously. Your moans dominated the room at the extra pleasure as you began to slip from your control.

“Come with me.” he demanded as he hammered inside of you without any remorse.

It was everything you had both dreamed it would be and more. The feeling of letting go together shook you both as you clenched around him, sucking him in, and as he shot his load inside of you.

You both lay there for what felt like an eternity of comfort and serenity. Your bodies pressed up against each other with your eyes closed, just soaking up the moment without any anxieties or thoughts.

However, to your dismay, Miguel pulled back. He took your face in his palm again, marvelling at your vulnerable state. He would be the only one to see you like this.

He placed his forehead against yours as your breaths became synchronised along with your heartbeats, creating the sound of peace and belonging.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

a/n: read the extra here.

☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･ﾟsgojoenthusiast

[moonbiscuitsims]

SIMDEW VALLEY SET 🍄👩🏿‍🌾🐷🐴🐄🧙🏿‍♂️🌻🌽

Stardew Valley Pixel Art Floors/Walls/Deco (TS4) Download Below

Aside from a couple most of these pics are just the demo pics showing what's included, more CC in game pics can be seen here

🍄Misc Large Decals

In order: Junimo huts + large Junimos, Holdiay Decor and "sky decor", furniture items, rarecrows, plants.

🍄Wall Decals Paintings and Banners:

🍄Wall Decals Misc small:

Adventure stuff and boots, small junimos, random furniture items slime monsters different expressions

🍄Wall decals Gems and Minerals:

I didn't do them all, just some that I liked.

🍄Wall decals farm animals

🍄Wall decals Fishing

Again just the fish I wanted to do, not all:

🍄Wall decals Harvestables, Crops, Products:

Here's a random in game pic (see more in links provided at top or bottom of post), all decals show through glass too!

🍄Stardew Valley Villagers (yes the bear is a villager I refuse to accept otherwise) portraits

The portraits are the only item with actual dimension, I recoloured a base game framed painting, so these are not flat like the rest of decals. (they look a bit orange but that's just my mood lighting)

🍄Walls and Flooring (indoor and outdoor flooring)

I did all the ones you see here:

For the floors I made a large and small version of all:

🍄You can see more CC in game pics in my wip post here

Are you sick and tired of those smooth graphics from Sims 4? Do you wish you could replace those pesky curves and detailed HQ textures with nothing but square pixel heaven and flat colours? To be finally rid of all those 3D bump/light effects and replace them with volume-less cardboard cut-out illusion and imagination? Do you want your build/game to look just like Stardew Valley? Or do you simply think that if the sims team are gonna give us low poly and low quality meshes and textures might as well do it properly? Fear not! The solution is here! I made a new Stardew Valley save (why I need yet another save that I'll never have time to complete I don't know) and tried my first build, the recreation of my current (and only) farm. It was ok but I got frustrated at how "Sims 4" everything looked, and checked for stardew valley cc conversions, art, decor but only find people making it using sims 4 stuff, which is probably the most logical thing but not for me! So I made this as there are plenty of game assets from Stardew Valley available online and however tedious and time-consuming resizing the tiniest of pixel art images is to fit Sims 4, it is fairly easy and doable, so I did it. I did skip some items in each category as there are way too many and just did the ones I like, sorry if there was one I didn't include. Also there are some floors in the game or icons that I couldn't find. Some Junimos were taken from the internet but most are individually resized game assets. INFO: all decals in wall deco, all are zero simoleons, and the portraits are 10. You can find my stuff typing "moonbiscuitsims" or "stardew". All have correct colour filter tags and removed "talk to object (insane)" and "can be struck by lightning" (these things annoy me or could cause more distractions for my sims, sorry if you like this though I'm sure there are plenty of objects to talk to/ lightning strikable objects). I don't know if this has an effect. All the portraits are just tagged as brown. All are resizable to your liking. Forgot to mention the floors i think are in wood flooring and outdoor flooring; and I think the walls in panelling. REQUIREMENTS: Nada, nothing. Just base game. (though I did accidentally make one item from a get to work decal by mistake, I remade it to fix it and I've play tested everything, but let me know if something doesn't show up.

PLEASE READ AND RESPECT MY TOU AND DO NOT ❌❌❌: - ❌ Reupload - ❌ Include in sim downloads - ❌ Put behind paywall of any kind no matter what. - ❌ Claim as yours. If you wanna use the texture files to make other different original content that is fine as long as it is different from mine and NO PAYWALLS and no reuploading my stuff. The images are from Stardew Valley, but I spent ages editing every single one to fit the sims, and this took me days to do. All my stuff is free. I don't care about conversions to ts2 or ts3 but NO PAYWALLS and please tag and credit me. If used for screenshots please tag me too, I'd love to see <3 🍄DOWNLOAD (including a pick and choose or a merged file with everything, don't get both) 🍄ALT DOWNLOAD PATREON Enjoy! Happy Simming/Farming

🌵🥥🌴NEW!! Calico Desert Addon🌴🥥🌵

Stardew Valley fav music playlist 🎵🎵🎵

[daniellelocklyn]

Vahumana Wanderer x Amurta Fem! Reader

This idea is from wiki (Vahumana darshan) : A popular topic among Vahumana students is Time-Sensitive Commodities, or TSC. Their research and advice on this topic has helped fruit and vegetable sellers at the Grand Bazaar prevent waste and save Mora. They have worked alongside Amurta scholars to design products related to food preservation and overfishing.

You were not a very brilliant student among others in darshan amurta. You were not interested in human biology and focused on plant biology, only a few took interest on your studies about fruits and vegetables. This made you upset sometimes, people always look down on your research just because they thought it's not as helpful as human body biology researches for the society. You wish one day you can prove how your study can also be helpful for the society, because well, we consume fruits and vegetables everyday, so why are their study are not appreciated as much. 

You managed to continue your reasearch about plantation, post harvest, and waste management on fruits and vegetables farming. One day, you were overly happy when your senior called you out for helping a Time-Sensitive Commodity (TSC) research along with darshan Vahumana students. These reasearch is going to solve problems for fruit and vegetable sellers at the Grand Bazaar event, to help them save more Mora and produce less waste. 

You were told to be working on the fruit and vegetable waste management along with a Vahumana student. He introduced himself as the Wanderer, you thought his name was the Hat Guy because the host introduced him as that during the Interdarshan Competition. During your first meeting, some of the Vahumana students warned you about Wanderer's bratty behaviour, honestly you didn't really care, all you care about is this project and how you will prove to the world that your studies all this time are important. 

You never really talked to the Wanderer unless it's about the project, it's true that sometimes he said mean things, but that doesn't bother you. During weekly project meeting, you were always charmed by how the Wanderer managed to explain well in each presentation and answer hard questions effortlessly. Working with him made you feel motivated. Because the Wanderer was very passionate about this project, you as his project partner starting to work harder, you spend most of your days in the Bazaar or in your lab doing reasearch and spend your evening reading tons of books and journals in the library. 

This morning you were busy collecting datas around the Bazaar, asking few seller about how they treated their wastes, you were too focused on writing until you, not realizing you hit someone's back. "I'm sorry Sir, I didn't watch my step" You immediately apologize. "Ah so here you are, I've been searching for you in this endless Bazaar" It's the Wanderer, what a coincidence. He drag you along to a small food stall at the Bazaar. "Eat" He said, you gave him a confused look. "Tch, you're so troublesome, just pick what you want to eat, I'll pay and no, you can't eat salad, you must eat carbohydrate" You still in confusion, like how did he know you were on a diet, in the end you pick a stir fry noodle. You ate together in the stall with the Wanderer quietly, since this is your first time spending time with him outside of the project. The first bite of the noodle made you realized you haven't really eat well lately, all those research and projects somehow never made you feel hungry, and mysteriously your partner knows this. "Listen, I know you were busy in your lab or in the library, but you still need to take care of yourself properly, it frustrated me really, this project will mean nothing if you get sick or something" You were shocked after he scolded you. You smiled and thanked him for his reminder and treating you food, "I'll repay you" You said. "Don't bother too, just take care of yourself"

 After that day, you and the Wanderer somehow starts to meet each other often outside the project, either it's just a stroll or study together in the library. As you observed, the Wanderer never really care about the other as much as he cares for you, this thought made you blushed sometimes, but you never really asked the reason to the Wanderer, probably you just don't know much yet about him, you thought, and of course why would someone as popular as him has a crush on an ordinary scholar like you. As you want this project to be a big success, you told yourself to have these thoughts about the Wanderer, and stay focus on the project instead. 

After a few months, the project finally comes to an end. You were very happy on the output, your research was finally helpful for the society, plus your studies has gained a lot of attention. The end of the project made your thoughts about the Wanderer came back, you'll missed the days you spend together with the Wanderer. As the project were considered a big success, a farewell party was held as a congratulatory event for both darshans. You can't seem to focus on the event, you were busy on your own thought while stealing glances at the Wanderer. Of course the Wanderer noticed these glances from you. At the end of the event, he take your wrist "You know, I think you have to stop stealing glances" You apologize for making him uncomfortable "You can look at me directly now... But only if you wanna be my girlfriend, sadly I don't take no as an answer" He planted a small kiss on your hands. You still can proceed what happened and start pinching your own cheeks "Am I drunk right now?" You blinked your eyes a few times, because dang the Wanderer just told you to be his girlfriend. He chuckles "Took you long enough to get it huh? All these months I've tried to give you a hint" Ah, so all that caring gestures were a hint for his feelings? How stupid are you, but you're still happy you finally dated the person who's been filling your mind. This project was such a blessing, you finally get the validation you deserve and you get a bonus, a boyfriend. 

[apricusapollo]

Hey! Saw your post about deciding what to do for uni. Obviously it's a choice you have to make for yourself in the end (i know how hard that is as im going to uni this year as well, and im having trouble figuring out what to do too!!). Just offering some of my thoughts here!!

Im from a smallish eastern european country and honestly, I've only recently really started to appreciate my culture and language. I've spent so much time on the internet, consuming and consuming and consuming english, and my mative language skills have suffered for it. Like i hate those moments when i need a word and the first one that pops into my mind is an english one.

English is in no danger. English lacks nothing. It has all the linguists and philology students it needs. Does Georgian have that? Idk how Georgian is doing, but i know that for my own native language the situation is quite bad. A lot of young people speak better english than the native language, they sometimes put in phrasss or have entire convos in english, and that really harms my language, because a language has to be used intensely and in every aspect of life for it to evolve and remain truly alive. So like if i had to choose between english and my language, i think I'd choose my language, just because it's in a more precarious situation.

Like people from all over the world study english yk. But do people from all over the world study Georgian? We have to take care of our culture when we know that others won't, because it *is* valuable, even if only to us.

In the end, i think the best advice is to do what interests you most. If that's english, then sure, go for it, but if it's Georgian, then go for that. Make sure that you don't give up on your passions just because of fear.

helloo<33

the thing is, like you've said, I've been obsessively consuming media in English since I was 11-12 years old and at this point my brain Works in English more than it does in Georgian, ykwim?? I completely understand what you mean when you say that when you need a certain word, English translation is the first one that pops up in your head and it's so frustrating, I completely get it.

I also started appreciating my culture / literature / songs / movies lately and I sometimes get so angry at myself for not being interested in it earlier because, truly, who cares about how much information you have about foreign movies and so on if you don't know anything about your own first, yk??

and people around me use English phrases instead of Georgian too and it makes me So Mad and what makes me even angrier is that I also do that?? like?? why. Georgian is the sort of language that does not lack words or phrases, considering that Georgian tribes have existed since 8 century B.C. so, the point is, we don't lack anything that English speakers have.

another thing (which I have talked about here multiple times since I started studying history properly) is that Georgia has always, always been under attacks throughout its entire existence and we were constantly on the verge of extinction but somehow we always survived and people always managed to find a way to pass our culture and everything sacred to us to future generations. when I look back at that I feel so bad about the possibility of choosing foreign language and literature which was NEVER under the same risk of disappearance while my ancestors had to fight tooth and nail to still speak Georgian as the Russian Empire pressured them into speaking Russian.

honestly tysm for this anon because yeah. as a fellow eastern european, yeah you Get it.

my national exams are in July so I still have time to think about all of this but unless the fear of our complicated grammar makes me change my mind, I have a tiny feeling that patriotism might win within me.

sorry I didn't intend this to turn into such a rant

[ladiesandwitches]

Continued from here @stellamane (because the post is a legacy post and it wasn't cropping/editing properly and I was tired of its madness, haha)

"Supposed to be?" Sabrina repeated back to him, giving him a look of daughterly exasperation as she did so. "You realise that's not actually a reason, right? It's the same as 'that's the way it's always been'. And, I'm sorry, but I'm never going to be on board with the idea of people being punished who don't deserve it." People like Jimmy, however? Oh yeah, they definitely deserved it.

"Snuffed out?" Sabrina winced, not entirely keen on the concept. Why couldn't their energy go into a new life, be reborn? Why did everything in have to be so...final? Wasn't there some nice, reincarnation option? Or, better yet, a test that someone could take to prove they didn't belong in Hell. "There's gotta be something better. You're telling me that in thousands and thousands of years none of you, not in Hell or Heaven, has ever thought that maybe the system is a little bit broken?"

And Heaven sounded just as bad as Hell. Judging people for what had happened to them, and rejecting them for their sexuality; how did that make them any different from Hell? They were all punishing people who didn't deserve it, not caring about which ones were actually bad people. It was awful, it was wrong, and it needed to change.

She was aware her father was trying to dig the infernal knife in with Lilith, trying to point her frustration and anger in that direction, but as many problems as she had had with the First Witch in the past, Sabrina couldn't deny that she'd also been helpful. And that she was generally more easily persuaded than her father. And, after all, she hadn't rejected the idea of a reformation of Hell when she'd been her regent...

"Sorry?" Sabrina realised she hadn't been listening, her mind consumed with other thoughts. She made herself quickly catch up "Yeah, it was a séance. The Weird Sisters and I, using my mother's wedding dress, why?"

It had been the one real time she'd ever gotten to speak to her mother, gotten to see her, to listen to her advice, and now her father was trying to taint that? Make it seem as if it had all be false, just some...what? Practical joke? A mean trick from the spirit world?

"She did got to Limbo, yeah, but she said that she could move on after..." Sabrina trailed off, frowning. "What do you mean someone would have used it for their own agenda? Pretending to be my Mom? Who would even do that? Who would even care that I wanted to talk to her about Harvey?" Why would it have even been a big deal? She wondered herself, unable to imagine it as important to anyone but a teenage girl. And who would known enough about Diana Spellman to pretend to be her? But then, Sabrina realised, she didn't really know her enough to challenge it.

"You'd do that? Bring my mom here, to Hell?"

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Hey, Ralph. I don't really know how to articulate the feelings I have about jkr but you're a sensible person whose views have helped me in the past so here I am. Like I understand people have attachment to her work. But this debate whether spending money on her work is supporting her vs her work isn't hers alone and you can consume media while disagreeing with creator is really frustrating. I wish this insanely popular author didn't play part in questioning my existence and thinking of me as 'misguided woman' so I wouldn't even have to think about this. But she does and I wish could do something to counter her vitriol but at the same time I'm so fucking tired of justifying my being to everyone because living in a transphobic society is hard enough.

Thanks for sending this anon - it's lovely to hear that what I say has helped you make sense of the world.

I'm really sorry that you have to deal with all this bullshit anon. I'm sorry that JKR is so awful. I'm sorry that her work means a lot to people.

I think your last sentence is key to figuring out a way forward. You talk about being frustrated and tired - discussions about JKR seem really negative for you. How about you avoid them? If they're happening here block and unfolllow, block key words. You can have a great impact on how much of this debate you see. How about you see less.

Toni Morrison said: "“The function, the very serious function of racism is distraction. It keeps you from doing your work. It keeps you explaining, over and over again, your reason for being. Somebody says you have no language and you spend twenty years proving that you do. Somebody says your head isn’t shaped properly so you have scientists working on the fact that it is. Somebody says you have no art, so you dredge that up. Somebody says you have no kingdoms, so you dredge that up. None of this is necessary. There will always be one more thing.”

It sounds to me like JKR is distracting you. What if you blocked her every way you could and resolved to put the energy into some project that celebrated trans joy? What would that be? What if you made the energy you spent talking about trans lives proactive rather than reactive.

You won't leave anything important behind if you leave behind discussions about JKR I promise.

One of the strange things about current times is that there's almost an infinite capacity to talk in public about things. It's very easy that by talking about things in public you're changing the terms of how things are talked about in public (often you're not, often you're just setting the agreed terms of disagreement). Or that by changing the way things are talked about in public you change the way people experience the world - there is some ways that it's true, but far more ways that it's not.

If people get something out of talking about JKR that's fine, I'm not advocating that they stop, just that giving up the fantasy that it's doing anything allows who don't enjoy it to stop (as should be rather obvious I get something out of talking about a lot of things on this tumblr, I don't think that it's having a marked impact on the world).

It can also help to give this whole debate less power. I'm not quite sure what is being released right now, but small variations in the financial success of minor Harry Potter events are not going to be the deciding factor in trans lives over the next few years.

Fighting collectively by building a coalition to win meaningful changing to housing and healthcare is far more important than any response to JKR.

There's more I could say anon, but I think my main point is JKR isn't worth any of this and you can put your energy else where.

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

-

fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333

[littleoddwriter]

Hey Ronny! I just wanted to take a moment to say that I read your recent post about feeling frustrated and while as a fan of your work it made me sad, but as a fellow fic writer I understand.

I posted a fic on Ao3 not too long ago. It’s something like over 12,000 words, and while it’s gotten over a hundred views there’s been very little engagement. Only about a handful of kudos and one comment. Which has been my only comment since I joined the archive.

There’s nothing more discouraging than putting time and effort into a piece and then feeling like you’re basically tossing it into the void. I’ve been on the internet for a long long time and I remember the days where if you weren’t going to comment on a fic the very least you did was leave a like or share a link. Social media seems to have really changed the overall consensus on that, and it starts to feel like you’re more like a content farm than a writer after awhile.

You wouldn’t be the first fic author I know of who’s closed their requests because of something like this, and I’d like to just say that no matter what choice you make, you should do whatever’s best for you and what makes you happy in your writing. Creating fics should be something that brings joy into your life, not something that drains you.

Thank you so much for all the good things you’ve brought into fandom with your writing. You truly offer such a unique and meaningful voice for a lot of readers. You bring such imagination and skill to each request, and you deserve to be appreciated properly for that.

Whatever happens going forward I’m still going to be excited to see what you post, requests or not. The day I found your blog was a lucky one for me indeed, and even if I’m too shy to come forward please know you’ve got a friend applauding you from the wings.

Sincerely, Torrance Anon

PS. Sorry for the whole novel here. To end on a positive note, I loved loved loved the HC list you did for Danny and Barba. I also wasn’t raised by good parents and struggle with a lot of the same things those two do when it comes to the possibility of raising a family, which might be why I subconsciously picked them! Everything you wrote gave me the warm fuzzies, and you got the details of their characters just right! Thank you for taking the time to create something so wonderful, it means so much <3

Hello there, Torrance Anon!

I'm sorry your fic didn't really get any engagement, thus far. You deserve better than that; especially after having put in so much time and effort (12k words is extremely impressive!!!). Comments are very rare on Ao3, unfortunately, it can be so disheartening.

Yes, exactly! I've been writing fics since 2013; and even though I was only a child, whose writing was utter garbage, I got way more feedback and general support than I do now. And it has just become a big issue with social media the way it is today. People also seem to not really understand how Tumblr actually works and that it lives off of reblogging content. The same way, most consumers of said content don't seem to really comprehend that feedback = motivation to continue.

Seriously, you're such a kind-hearted person, Torrance Anon; I deeply appreciate you. Thank you very much for telling me this. You're absolutely right, after all. And I'm already making plans to coordinate everything better next year, so that I'll be able to work on the fics I've been putting on hold - no matter if things change and my requests stay open, or not. And it means a lot to me to know that you'll have my back throughout, and that you value my work like this. I can't really express how happy it makes me, thank you so very much for everything. You're a gem! <3

PS. No need to apologise, it was a very nice message to wake up to this morning, and it made being conscious less dreadful, so thank you - from the bottom of my heart. :') <3 And thank you for your feedback! I'm so happy you liked the headcanons!!! I'm sorry you've grown up in such circumstances as well, it's not fair; and I wish you the absolute best. <3 Thank you again! I was very happy to fulfil your request, my friend. <3 :') <3

[ally-the-turtle]

I don't know if you still do stuff for Noragami.. But can I have Yato with a fem! S/O who has like FABULOUS legs. Like they dummy THICC but they are so beautiful! (Bonus if she can do a split!)

woop sorry for the late response-  i’m not very active in this account since I switched into my art account on my other computer xD 

But hey, sure! Y’know what, I might make this account a multifandom writing blog. 

Noragami’s my favourite anime but it’s been a while since I last watched it :”)) I hope he’s not OOC! 

Warnings: You swearing like a sailor lmao Word count: 1467

~~~

No one would have ever thought that a girl with your legs could dance, let alone do the splits. 

It’s a stereotype, right? Thicc girl is too thicc to do anything blah blah blah

Well not you. 

You loved to dance. It was a form of art that you just connected with so strongly. Expressing yourself with just your body language was so extraordinary to you that you took on classes since you were just a child. Now a young adult, having just turned 19, you didn’t know what you wanted to do exactly. 

Future??? WHat’s thAT????

Currently, you were laying on your bed in your pyjamas which consisted of shorts and a tank top, under the sheets, looking up at the ceiling as random thoughts swirled in your head. Maybe you could go into the performing arts? Musical theatre performer? Dance teacher? 

“Ugghhh...” You groaned. “I don’t know what to dooo!” 

The performing arts was very physically demanding - that is, if you meant the requirements then you’re in. You had tried in the past to audition for dance classes and teacher positions but you had gotten rejected every time and all for the same reason:

Your weight.

What was most disappointing was that you had always been proud of your physical figure. You weren’t thin like a wire, you never were and unless you give up your happiness, you never will be. But you didn’t mind ‘cause fuck it - food is fucking delicious and people need to be more grateful of the awesome shit we get to consume. Ahem - anyway, you loved yourself. You love your body and you wouldn’t give it up for anything. You were beautiful. You had all the curves in all the right places. So many of your girl friends had told you they would give their soul to Satan to have your ass and legs. It was a weird way of complimenting you but you appreciated it either way. 

Still, you were upset. Just today you had auditioned for an elite dance class which fit your level. However you got rejected and even though they had told you that it was because you had come too late, you knew better, you knew it was because of your physical look which didn’t match their wants. 

“Beauty is so overrated.” You scoffed, thinking about how so many girls literally torturing their bodies just to fit society’s definition of beauty. 

wE LiVE iN A sOCiEty. 

“Societ...y...” 

“Huh?” You muttered, hearing a voice close by to you. 

“Beauti...ful...” 

“What the fuck?” You gasped, now fully aware that you weren’t alone in your room. Your eyes scanned the area and there in the corner, you saw floating eyeballs. 

“You’re not... beautiful...” It said. “We... can make you... beautiful...”

“Shut the fuck up! I AM beautiful!” You spat, getting your phone out to text your boyfriend, Yato, one word:

HELP.

You got up from your bed in a flash as the phantom grew larger and came closer to you. But how? You were confident with yourself, there was no reason why a phantom would appear right next to you. 

You were confident... right?

“Beautiful... Beautiful...!” It spoke again, its voice multiplying as if there were 500 children speaking at once. 

“Shut up!” You yelled, baking up against the wall until it touched your back. 

It attacked, sending black mist towards you. However, you lifted your leg high, a full 180°. Suddenly you had an idea. 

“You wanna dance? Bring it motherfucker!” You challenged. 

The black blob of eyeballs and mist multiplied and all began attacking you however, you were able to avoid them by lifting your legs and moving your legs in graceful manners, as if you were dancing. You even did a few gainer front flips (A/N: y’know those flips that ballet dancers do? yeah that.) You were skilled and it showed. You were cartwheeling around, flipping and twisting to dodge the attacks. However you were starting to feel tired and soon enough, one of your flips ended up with you hitting your head against the wall and twisting your ankle. 

“Ah fuck!” You cursed, holding your ankle and panting loudly. The blob grew larger and was about to launch at you until there was a flash of light. 

“Sekki!” A voice called.

Then, the blob exploded and on the other side was the all too familiar God in the light blue scarf. 

“Y/N!” He called rushing to your side. “Are you okay?!”

“Dude.” You panted, leaning against him. “It’s fucking 1 am, a Phantom attacked me, I sprained my ankle and I’m tired. What do you think?” You sassed. 

“Yatooo!” His regalia, Yukine called. “Release me!”

“Oh, right.” Yato said before releasing his regalia, causing the katana to glow and reshape itself into Yukine’s human body. “Get some ice.”

The blond boy nodded before leaving the room. Yato’s blue eyes locked themselves on your bruised ankle which was starting to change colour. His eyes then shifted over to yours, as if asking how it happened. 

“A Phantom was here and attacked me.” You briefly explained. 

“It wouldn’t just appear right next to you like that. ” Yato persisted, his voice growing softer. “Did something happen?”

You paused before sighing out. “They rejected me.”

“What??” Yato shrieked. “But you’re an amazing dancer! You’re the best one I’ve seen in centuries!”

That comment made you slightly smile. “Thanks... I guess I’m more upset than I initially thought...”

Yato frowned before bringing you in for a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist and yours were around his neck. You didn’t cry but your heart still felt heavy and having him by your side helped relieve the tension. 

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” Yato asked, his thumbs rubbing against the thin cloth on your back. 

“I didn’t wanna disturb you. I know you’re a busy guy.” 

“I would’ve made time for you, honey. Nothing can ever be more important than your wellbeing.”

“Heh.” You chuckled, pulling away from him and caressing his handsome face. “Thanks.” 

Later, Yukine came back with a pack of ice and the two boys brought you to your bed with Yato holding the pack against your ankle. You suggested that they both stayed at your place since your parents weren’t home and they gladly agreed. Of course, Yato decided to sleep with you and Yukine took your parent’s bedroom. The idea of having a queen sized bed just for him made him so happy since he hadn’t been able to sleep properly due to Yato not having a proper shrine of his own. Sure, Yato’s “mini shrine” that Hiyori had made for him was registered but it was far too small for them to sleep in. 

Now, it was just you and the God of Calamity. 

“Did they tell you why?”

“They said that I came too late which was, in fact, not true, since I was one of the first to audition. They didn’t wanna say it to my face but it’s basically my weight. They think I’m too fat even though my skills are just as high as the other girls. Assholes...” You explained, furrowing your eyebrows. “Guess I’m far away from being in the performing arts...”

Yato frowned. “Don’t give up like that, Y/N, it isn’t like you.”

“How can I not?” You retorted. “I keep auditioning, again and again, and every fucking time, I get rejected! Why? Because of these fucking things!” You slapped your thigh in frustration. 

Yato’s hand was placed on top of your thigh, where you had just slapped and gently rubbed it. Then, he lowered his head and kissed it which made you blush, feeling awkward by the sudden affection. 

“Your thighs are beautiful, Y/N. They’re strong and yet so soft to lay my head on.” He smiled. “They can do amazing things. It’s just that no one is as privileged as me to see them in action~”

“Oh my God you perv.” You giggled, facepalming at the God. “Thanks.”

He smirked at you, moving his body closer to yours until his face was inches from yours. Yeah this was completely normal. You were 19, of course you’ve had sex with Yato. Hell, he was your first when you turned 18. It was not the best experience but you were glad it was with him. 

Yato’s hands moved upwards, his palms creating a soft sound against your skin, through the hems of your loose shorts until they reached your waist. His thumbs moved in circles which was pretty soothing for you. He rested his head against yours, smiling contently before kissing your head, then your cheeks and finally, your lips. The kiss started out soft but then it escalated quickly. 

“Your legs are beautiful, let’s see what they can do~”

~~~

Hope you enjoyed it!

[skzluvs]

Strawberry Cheesecake 🍰; Han Jisung

Genre: Fluff!

Warnings: Swearing

Word count: 2.3K

A/N: Reuploading this one cause it had too many mistakes!

She tasted the saltiness of the caramel Frappuccino she ordered next to her a strawberry cake her ultimate favorite.

"So tell me Y/N how's school" Chan asked with a smile while he sipped his iced americano.

You where sitting at table in a vintage local coffee shop surrounded by aesthetically pleasing neon signs and flowers.

"You know being a college freshman is way harder than I thought" You sighed looking at him. Discomfort written all over your face.

“I know that face you make when something is troubling you, what it is exactly? I truly doubt is school related" He spoke softly.

" I swore I wasn't going to fall for him Chan, then tell me why I can't take him off my mind" You almost banged your head on the table as a sign of frustration.

You just couldn't understand why he made you feel that particular way and why exactly had to be him the one who everyone wanted the one you absolutely just couldn't have.

“He just has that effect on people Y/N"- Chan laughed showing his cute dimples.

" He truly does but that's not the point Chan you are supposed to be my friend and tell me to stay away from him before I fall in deeper"

Chan knew him they're weren't exactly close but they both shared American literature and that means they have talked here and then. Also they share a lot of things in common for example they were majoring on the same career.

" I can't do that sweetheart because indeed I'm your friend and if you like him I guess I support it"- He raised his shoulders innocently.

" Christopher Bang Chan! I never said I liked him to begin with and second of all you are such a bad friend this is why Woojin will always be my favorite"- You replied to him with annoyance raising your voice a little. Causing some customers to look at you.

Yes, you had the guy on your mind 24/7 but you just couldn't afford to like him. It was not safe, there were a million reasons why you couldn’t fall on that trap and mainly because you didn't wanted to become another one of the so called “fans” he has too many of those already.

" I feel disrespected but let me remind you woojin is still mad at you because you ate his precious chicken" He snapped back.

"What part of I was drunk both of you don't understand I was about to passed out and that chicken was the only thing that was on the fridge it was totally not my fault in fact you guys should do the groceries more often just saying" you responded with a sassy tone.

You were too busy fighting with Chan to noticed that a group of guys entered the coffee shop. And in that small crowd of young boys the protagonist of your chaotic nonexistent love life.

" Y/N I think we are missing the point here" He said trying to go back to the initial conversation.

" And that is..." You said waiting impatiently for him to answer.

" To admit that you do like him" a grin spread across his face.

You wanted to beat him so hard for being such a cheeky bastard.

"Fuck you Christopher I'm just going to pretend I didn't heard you assume my feelings like that" You scoffed in disbelief.

" What are you so afraid of though" he questioned raising an eyebrow at you.

" I already told you. First of all he's never going to like me back we only talked like twice and that's only because my clumsy ass bumped into him in the library"

" Don't you guys share a clase together" Chan asked while taking a sip of his coffee.

" Yes economics, but you know Mr. popular sits in the back surrounded by girls who are staring at him all day admiring his beauty while on the contrary I have to sit on the front so I can actually listen to Wilson talk about Adam Smith and his invisible hand of capitalism for an hour straight"

" Sounds like fun" he repeated mocking you.

" Today you are acting like a real asshole and I'm questioning why I'm still friends with you"- You said sending him a dead stare.

"I guess someone not in the mood for jokes" He said grinning.

"I'm just stressed out okay!"- You growled.

" Well I'm just going to say, you can keep denying it all you want I know you better than anyone else and unfortunately I can tell you are already in love with the poor man"

Mental note never talk about your love life with Christopher Bang because he has no fucking clue about anything else but music.

" When did you gotten so wise ? clearly never because all you are saying is nothing but bullshit" You crossed my arms in denial.

" Whatever you say Y/N. Why haven't you eaten your strawberry cake yet this matter must be really affecting you today because you tend to devore that thing in seconds"

The straberry cheesecake was just there sitting lonely on the table dripping the red syrup while the big chunk of straberry on top was slowly melting. You stared at it lost on your own thoughts.

There are too many reason why is even risky to think You were to like him but You couldn’t help to suppress a smile when You thought about him laughing or just walking confidently along with his friends through the hallways. You felt like a high schooler all over again having this secret crush on someone who can be seen as unreachable.

To you he was a like a shinning star in a sky, someone I wished upon up every night knowing that even with my extended hands I was never going to be able to touch because he felt too high for a simple mortal like yourself.

" HEY BANG CHAN"- a voice called for my best friend who rapidly turn his head looking for the owner.

You stayed there frozen In your place you could recognize that voice anywhere Seo Changbin one of the richest and most admired guys in school and of course for my misfortune his best friend.

“Hey Seo how you been?"  He asked while greeting the boy with a typical handshake.

There was no surprised that Changbin was talking to Chan they're both Music Majors, talented creative, self producers who were extremely passionate about their career unlike you who selected probably the most boring and time consuming career it could possible exist.

That's correct You were a Med student. Exciting knowing You’ll probably die before I get the chance to graduate.

"I've been well but actually I wanted to talk to you about a song I've been working on, do you maybe want to help me with some tracks ?” He asked directly and I could've sworn I heard Chris gasp.

" Of course mate I would love to" He replied with that beautiful smile showing off his dimples once again.

" I'm actually not that busy right now do you mind if we go to my place and work on it I barely started the beat" Changbin suggested.

" I don't mind I'm not busy either" Chan said immediately.

" Then let's go! can't wait for you to hear it" Changbin said turning around quickly.

You turned to face him for the first time since he got here, they were just talking comfortably as they pretended You wasn't even there but honestly You didn't mind at all, that's what happens when people with similar interests get together also nor You wanted to interrupt their personal conversation.

" I'm leaving Baby! I'll see you tomorrow I'm sorry we couldn't finish talking about you know what but I'll treat you to dinner next time"- Channie said while taking his jacket from the chair and standing up to follow Changbin.

" Don't worry about me, have fun with your new friend" You gave him a smile before he disappeared through the crystal doors of the coffee shop.

And then you came back to your thoughts while you kept on staring at my favorite dessert that didn't look as appetizing as before when you purchased it about 30 minutes ago.

As you was having this mental battle of trying to figure out my feeling for the dark haired boy you didn't even noticed that someone approached your table and stand there looking directly at you.

" Y/N" A sweet voice called out your name taking me out of your trance.

"Huh"- You said looking up confused.

That the minute your heart stopped for a couple of seconds and suddenly You forgot how to properly breathe. The most beautiful man was standing right there next to you with his hands on his pockets and his beautiful brown hair styled to the side. He was wearing sweatpants and a red hoodie but he still looked like a model.

"Can I sit here or are you waiting for someone" He asked offering that smile you always end up falling for.

Was he actually talking to you? You questioned mentally. You don't even know each other like that You wonder how is it possible that he even knows your name maybe he has a good memory and remembers you as the girl who tripped with the books on him on the library.

“God why did my mom had to made me uncoordinated” you said unaudible feeling your ears burn in embarrassment.

Your hands were sweating and You couldn't get the words out of your mouth you was suffocating on them.

" You can sit" you said rushing your words as you could spitted fire. If Chan ever needed a back up rapper you think you could do the job.

He proceeded to pull the chair in front of you and plopped himself on it while putting his elbows on the table and resting his cheeks on his hand his eyes looking directly at me. You instantly broke the eye contact and focused your gaze on that strawberry cheesecake again.

There was an awkward silence for a few minutes were neither of you made a sound until he decided to end it.

" Y/N i need to ask you something" His sweet voice sounded a little preoccupied.

" What is it" It was so hard for you to pretend to play it cool in front of him. The one who haunted you even on your own sleep a place where you thought it was safe. But not anymore.

"I know we haven't talked much but I found you really interesting" He scratched the back of his head nervously. "what I'm trying to say is that I would really like to get to know you I mean if that's okay with you of course" He said so fast no wonder why he's actually a rapper.

The red of your cheeks were just as the color of the strawberry syrup from that cake. How was you supposed to answer that while not long ago you was rejecting any possibility of liking him.

" I know this question might sound stupid to you but why me? You know there's absolutely no one in this one who hasn't fallen for you yet" I questioned still unable to believe on his words.

" Oh I know there's one, You are the only one who hasn't" He said obviously.

" So you are saying you find me challenging because I can resist to your charming face " you raised an eyebrow starting to feel offended you clearly wasn't going to be a game to him.

" Not quite I'm saying you are different and I like that maybe you don't realize it but even if the whole world liked me I would still only look at you, I mean I have been since you came in late the first day to Wilson's trying to fix yourself because you looked like you ran a marathon to get there" His laugh overflowed the whole room.

"Excuse me but my alarm didn't worked that morning and I didn't even got to eat breakfast so yes I ran my way all over there sorry I didn't looked presentable to your eyes but some people don't want to be late on their first day" You snapped back messing with him a little.

It was comfortable being with him like this right now. Something told me you was going to cherish this moment forever.

"I never said you looked bad in that moment I thought wow that messy girl is the prettiest one I've ever seen" A smirk spreading across his face.

"Are you just trying to cover up the fact that you literally just roasted me" You said laughing.

" Hey I didn't!” He said puffing outhis cheeks and You must admit he looks adorable every time he does that.

“By the way I was also meaning to ask is strawberry cheesecake your favorite as well?” He asked looking at the almost melted dessert.

" Yes it is. I have tried many variations but I always come back to this old friend, trust me I can eat strawberry cheesecakes for life I just haven't eaten this one because I was too distracted"

"Mine too! I love all kinds of cheesecakes to be honest with you, but no other flavor can surpass the deliciousness of the strawberry one. I must say it's my favorite because in some way it reminds me of you"

"How so" You asked curiously trying to hide the blush on your cheeks.

" It's really sweet but not to the point my teeth would hurt and the juicy texture of the strawberry just melts with the cheese and the cookie crust that's kinda how you are Sweet enough for me to like you with a twist personality that makes it even more fun"

You grabbed the fork and cut a piece of the cake while You shoved it on his mouth.

"Just be quiet for a moment you are being cheesier than the cheesecake" You said pointing at the plate while laughing at his sudden confession.

“Mmm this is delicious” He said savoring the taste on his lips. Liking them slowly in a teasing way.

“By the way, just for the record I was the one who purposely bumped into you at the library I'm sorry I had to grabbed your attention somehow" He winked at you with a smirk.

"JISUNG" You yelled at him.

You both talked about many things that afternoon but one thing you would never be able to forget is how his lips also tasted sweet like that strawberry cheesecake you shared.

[mrslackles]

#are we really gonna have to wait till all the episodes are finished airing? no we don't. that is what some people would have you believe. but, sorry, this is just a plain old regular weekly tv show. if tptb wanted a product (and, again, that's what good girls is. a product to generate revenue. nbc isn't an artist's colony or a governmentally-funded public art project. it's a mechanism to sell us goods & services from advertisers, while -- HOPEFULLY -- also entertaining the audience. (1/4)

sorry for the tangent. but if i see one more “the show doesn’t owe the fans anything; only to remain true to the creators’ vision” garbage take, i’m going to lose it. do people truly not understand how tv works? jenna & co have corporate bosses they need to satisfy. they are constrained by time limits. they have to be able to tell “their story” under monetary limits. and yes, even actors’ contracts must be considered. (2/4)

if all those external factors affect the story, why is it so ridiculous to expect that audience reaction should as well? no audience = no show. if you aren’t supplying the product people want, they’ll go elsewhere.) that could only be properly understood as a whole, then they shouldn’t have agreed to episodic television; a medium that is meant to be consumed and CRITICIZED on a weekly level. (¾)

Honestly, showrunners who have that mentality are always the absolute worst. CC: Jason Rothenberg and Julie Plec. I’ll never understand it. A balance must definitely be struck (shows that only play to fan hopes are bad too), but I’ll never get the ‘This is my ART and it will play out the way I want it to play out’ mentality that some showrunners cling to with their lives.  

I actually love that aspect of writing fanfiction – getting constant feedback is such a blessing and something I enjoy so much that working on my novel feels less fulfilling. I normally have the entire story planned before I start writing, but understanding what people are lacking and enjoying ends up changing so much along the way too. 

Obviously TV writers can’t do the same based on their schedule, but I do find it interesting (read: saddening) that people loved season 1 and they took that to mean that they should completely change everything for season 2. Then people had huge criticism for season 2 and they decided to double down on all the issues for season 3. 

yes, there are season arcs and even intra-season arcs for shows that go on that long. but individual episodes need to stand on their own as well. and i find it suspect that many of those who sing the praises for the writing on the show are the same who say things like they just don’t pay attention to the timelines or they’ve made peace that dean’s cancer lie will never be addressed. that’s choosing to ignore flawed writing; not an indication that the writing transcends those problems. (4/4)

(5/4) wow - excuse this massive missive. i have feelings. and also, possibly, a record for longest parenthetical in a ask?

Haha, record made for sure, but I don’t mind!

I guess what I was trying to say is that the BNF/lighthouse blogs know as much about the big picture as we do, yet are asked weekly for deep analyses, and that’s not an easy situation to navigate. So I get why they tend to go more positive. But I do also find it frustrating at times, considering the show has not recently earned the goodwill for this constant optimism. 

Beth and Dean are Exhibit A. 2x09 was such a disappointing episode for me -- to this day, I can’t believe she let him manipulate her that way. Watching it by itself, you would think and 'analyse’ that it was part of a storyline about Beth’s emancipation; that she was eventually going to come back stronger and kick Dean out on his ass. Instead it all culminated in her running back into his arms. To think they are still together even now is nauseating to me.

Optimism is great, but it can also be hurtful and lead to a lot of disappointment. Nothing illustrates that better than season 2. (Did anyone see Beth getting jealous about Rio hugging another woman as a lead-up to her shooting him in the chest three times? Or was it seen at the time as relationship development and moving forward?)

TL;DR: People’s analyses/metas are generally far better than what the show actually ends up doing and they have not yet seemed to have caught onto this themselves. 

“that’s choosing to ignore flawed writing; not an indication that the writing transcends those problems.”

[bts5sosempire]

BTS Reaction: small short s/o

A/n: this one took me longer to finished.

Kim Seokjin:

Jin doesn't know what is funnier to him, you trying to reach the top of the cabinet or the way you are struggling to keep your toes hoisting you up. He saw how your face scrunches up and the way you bit your lower lip in frustration.

You let out a loud huff as you were annoyed. You weren't that short, maybe just an inch or two shorter than the average height, but you are there in the 5 feet zone!

Turning your face away, you saw out of the corner of your eyes there was Jin there with amusement written all over his face as he tries not to laugh. You motion a hand for him to come over and he walks over to you and his height tower over your form. Jin grabs the bottle of honey and salt you were trying so desperately to get. He looks down and there was little happiness twinkling in your eyes.

“Thank you, Jin!” You shouted before accepting the salt and honey from him before scurrying away to the table to prep the meat. But you came back and tell him to lower himself so you can give them a kiss before running back.

Jin giggles to himself. He can see the little imaginary tail wagging behind you proudly.

Min Yoongi:

You and Yoongi were walking down the crowded street of Saitama. Both of your eyes spot a black bear mascot, with two rosy cheeks and its little white eyes with black pupils. “Are you seeing what I'm seeing?” You ask Yoongi and look at him out of the corner of your eyes with a wide grin. Yoongi tug on your hand and you both quicken your steps to get to the bear Kumamon.

There were children with their parents as they were taking pictures. You excitedly stood next to Yoongi as your excitement was skyrocketing. Yoongi doesn't know if seeing you acting like a kid ever made him this happy, and he is because he is in the same boat as you. You both practically love Kumamon and literally bonded over it.

It took a moment for the children to clear out and you both walk over to Kumamon and the photographer told you both to smile and took a few pictures. The photographer handed the photos to you and Yoongi. But there was something that made laugh. “You look so small, it's cute.” He pointed out the height. You were almost at the equal height of the bear, but a tab bit taller. “I'm keeping this one.”

He stuffs it in his pocket and hands you the other photo for you to keep.

Jung Hoseok:

Every single time Hoseok sees you, he hugs and kisses you. You fit like in the center of his palm, and he would like to say that today is just one of those days. Hoseok saw you all wrapped up in a bundle like a newborn prop on the couch as your laptop lay on your lap and watch K-Dramas.

Your glasses keep falling off on your nose bridge and you keep pushing it back up. Hoseok ran to you with his high pitch squeal and glomp you on the couch. He put your laptop aside and start rocking you back and forth in his arms. “You look like a baby,” he breathlessly said, “so small and cute!”

“Are you teasing me because I'm smaller than Jimin?” You look innocently at Hoseok who grab your face and puff out your cheeks and lips.

“No you are cuter than him,” Hoseok squeezes the living life out of you. “You are my Little Riceball.”

“Riceball?” You ask him with a pout and a frown, “Do I look round to you?” This made Hoseok tells you to stay still and accept his love and affection, while he kept calling you ‘Little Riceball’.

Kim Namjoon:

Life couldn't get anymore greater for you. Your short self had decided to climb the shelf that is full of snacks and different kind of flavors. You manage to bring down a whole shelf with you. Luckily you didn't get hurt.

“(Name) which one do you-” Namjoon appeared out of the corner and saw you gasp at him, “-would go with the…bulgogi.”

You can see the disappointment on his face as you try to help the employee picking up all the snacks from the ground as two other male employees put the shelf back. “Namjoon this isn't what it looks like!” You suddenly stand up and three bags of chips fell from your arms. You hurriedly put the snacks on the shelf and apologize to the employees endlessly before running to Namjoon who looks like he is ready to scold you.

“You could've told me to help you to get the snacks.” He told you like it was the most obvious thing in the world, with a deadpanned look.

“But you were like four aisles away! And I didn't think that...this would happen, oh well.” He smacks your head with a pack of meat and you look at the ground in guilt.

“At least your shorty self is okay,” Namjoon looks at the employees and made a slight bow and apologizes for your behavior. “Let's go,” he drags you along. “And I'm not mad at you also.”

Park Jimin:

Your height made Jimin more protective of you at all time. Anywhere you are, he was there silently watching…and listening. You had decided to visit him and everyone was practicing for the upcoming comeback. As soon as the dance choreography told everyone to take a short break, Jimin came flying at you at top speed like a jet.

“My second Mochi!” His overly affectionate self consumed you as you fall onto the side of the couch. Jimin likes to stick to you like glue. He was always happy to see you and there's no doubt that he'll let you leave his arms.

“Jimin…” Muffling out his name, he let's go of you and his big smile on his face never disappear. You turn away from him and hand him a water bottle with three containers that were stack on top one another, and another one.

“Is all of this for me?” He happily asks you and you nodded at him. Jimin didn't waste time to open up the containers and the food wafts in the air. “You should eat too, so you'll grow,” He teases and gives you a piece of the food and you accept it with a glare and a shy blush adorned your face.

“I smell food, did (Name) noona made it?” A loud Jungkook asks while there were thunderous footsteps of many coming yours and Jimin's ways. All Jimin can do is trying to shoo them away pointlessly as they all start grabbing food from the containers and you laugh at his reaction.

Kim Taehyung:

Taehyung had come to visit you and see a little kid no older than seven open the door for him. “Who are you?”

“I'm (Name)'s boyfriend.”

“I didn't know that Little Auntie had a boyfriend? Auntie (Name) your boyfriend is here!” Your nephew shouted so loud that three other kids pop out from the kitchen. Your nephew that open the door ran off to inform you.

Taehyung walks inside and saw it was havoc.

“Kwangmin, Kamjoo, and Solyong!” With a loud voice, there was loud laughter.

“Auntie your boyfriend is here!”

“Hoseon I told you about not to open door to people and strangers without telling me first,” you scold the boy and emerge from the kitchen. Your hair was quite dishelved and disarray like your clothes.

Taehyung saw you carry another kid on your back as the baby slept through all the commotions.

“Oh hi Taehyung,” greeting your boyfriend, Solyong, your niece came to grab your hand.

“Auntie, after you're done the cooking, can you play as little fairy queen again?”

“Why? You can ask Kwangmin to be the fairy king this time.” Solyong shook her head.

“No, you fit the small height of being the fairy queen. Plus you're small like us.”

Taehyung can't help it but grin at you who sigh in defeat and told her you'll play with her when you're done with the cooking and put little baby Nayoung to sleep properly. Taehyung saw you glare at him as you can read his mind, and he can't help it but comment it.

“Little Fairy Queen.” He giggles.

Jeon Jungkook:

Each time you jump, Jungkook jumps too. You were getting tired as he was teasing your height. He often pats your head and uses you like a little armchair. “Is my little (Name) getting mad?” He teases out with such a mocking voice that you want to punch that smile of his off his face.

“Jungkook I'm serious, give me back my floppy disc, I need it for work.” You were getting angry at his little smug attitude. Sometimes he takes the short joke too far that you won't be sorry for him anymore if you decide to do a roundhouse kick at him.

“What is so important that you won't even spend time with me little shorty?” Jungkook put the floppy disc in his back pocket.

“I swear to all the gods of all the religions that I won't be sorry if you don't give it back to me, I need it for work and my deadline is coming very soon.” With a glare, Jungkook doesn't look phased at all, and he is underestimating you to take him down.

“Nope.” Jungkook pops out the ‘p’ and this set you off.

You grab his arm forcefully over your shoulder and you turn your back and throw him over with all your strength. Just because you're small that doesn't mean you can't handle someone bigger than you.

Jungkook let out a groan and you squat down and flip him over into his stomach and grab out the disc from his pocket jean. “I told you so.” With a victory grin, you walk off happily and go back to finishing your work.

Jungkook lay on the ground and thinks for a moment.

“Holy shit she's strong.” He wheezes out. He can confirm that you are a Bong-soon in disguise.

[distantdreamboy]

Can't Stay On My Chest Forever: The Series [working title] 🍂

My being feels calmer after getting this out. Glad I did it.

It confuses me how I can be as inactive as I am and still be spread thin. Probably doesn't help that my family assumes I'm doing nothing with my life and just express how "worried" they are. Not worried about my mental health, just my income. We don't really go into depth about the mental health thing because certain people in the household would have to be held accountable for their actions and we can't have that. So the energy in the house is stagnant. Sometimes we'll try to cut through the scent of resentment and converse, share laughs, toss a kind phrase or two but the warmth can be fleeting. Without saying too much, my line of work is very physically demanding and time consuming but I love it--and I'm good at it. I got good work all summer and as a freelancer that can be rare so I save for the seasons in which work may not come around that often. After that I had a nice cushion that allowed me to coast for a bit. While I'll admit I have been exhausting it I've been progressing. For the past few months I've been making CAREER moves rather than getting one-off jobs for some extra cash. I'm not above those jobs (although I'm not inclined to them either) but my best self wouldn't be present if I wasn't passionate about it. Regardless it's frustrating to have to explain to them that I'm experiencing BURNOUT. I'm rehabbing an injury I never got properly treated because I was stuck in survival mode. I've attempted to move out three separate times and it didn't work out--but I tried. I've been working, been making money, and been making career moves! People know my name! They reach out to work with me because of who I am, what I do, and what I provide. To be frank, it feels like I'm figuring a lot of this shit out by myself and it's a lot to manage especially considering I've been pushed to question my reality. This is apart from all the familial pressure that I'm supposedly putting on myself. So, forgive me if taking some time off to recuperate doesn't fit into your rubric--but don't talk to me like I'm doing nothing. Maybe support what I'm already doing for myself first. Is that so hard? The vibes be so ass and I've told them exactly how I feel and they look at me like I have three heads. Thankfully I've realized that this isn't something I can carry. It would be best for me to create distance and set my boundaries. I'm going to save myself.

I was writing a letter to them that contained everything I wanted to say for the past ten years. Anger lay embedded in each paragraph because for so long I felt like it was unjust. Like it was all in my head. But I came across the sadness beneath the anger, I'm sorry to disappoint.

Some peers have made it seem as if my flirty guy stories were "all in my head" but I these dudes do some questionable things! Some might say lascivious (shoutout Brian Broome) behaviors! This self-proclaimed 'straight' guy at a bar cracks a joke at me and I'm a good sport, so I crack one back. He laughs and daps me up but holds on to my hand for a while, saying "nah that was too good we can't let go", so we held hands for about 10 seconds. It was...interesting to say the least. I was confused more than anything because where is the punchline for this joke? There is none--we're just holding hands while everyone talks around us. One of his friends is observing this, silently weaving a narrative that they'll discuss on the ride home. Maybe it was just a friendly gesture, an I come in peace, which I can respect, but its a tad tedious to have to question these pseudo advancements from the potentially curious. There are so many subtle signs I have to clock, sometimes pulling myself aside to do so. I'll take a bathroom break to regroup a counting the signs: held hands, prolonged eye contact, making sure he got my social media, watching me while I'm not looking. It's always weird when this happens because they expect me to make every move after that--they want me to so they can pin it on me if it's ever disclosed. Jokes on him...I'm the one who makes my partners sign NDAs.

This brings me to another situation, one with less subtlety. Again, another assumed 'straight' guy (whom I have referenced in a previous entry) sent some lascivious signs my way. The first of which was showing me his sextapes, the second of which being glancing at my ass, the third was glancing at my lips while the forth was asking 'if I touched you there, would that turn you on?'. This all before the fifth and final hand-swipe-on-the-lower-back, often used as the finishing maneuver after 6 shots of Casamigos. It almost worked, my saving grace being my church lady like demeanor and my principle of not being a home wrecker. Also the fact that I care about my karma. That's probably at least 86% of it. So nothing happens and we keep it chill, but I don't forget that night and truthfully I don't think he did either. Drunk mind speaks a sober tongue, cliche but true. Once I started checking if he viewed my story I knew I was in too deep--okay not too deep but deeper than I wanted to be. I can less-than-confidently say that its not just me, hearing through the grapevine that you want to come hang, come spend tiiiime with the kid. There's something about me you appreciate and the feeling is mutual but I can't help but wonder what this connection is being built on. What part of your body does this newfound 'interest' seek to satisfy? Are we just friends? Friends who flirt? Friends who flirt with an intent to bump uglies? Do you...like me? Not like like but a crush? Will this be a bad-boy-changes-his-ways romance storyline? The answer won't come to me overnight but I guess I'll have to wait till we see each other next, and even then it isn't guaranteed. All I know for certain is imma look STU-NNING.

[jessicaevierose]

DAY 2 OF #THE100DAYPROJECT

Word: Demitasse

Definition: Small cup of strong black coffee without milk or cream

Thoughts: I don't drink coffee anymore, so here's a photo of my sticky chai tea 🤤

It's interesting to see how a random word can spark a thought process that takes you somewhere completely unexpected.

.

Stream of consciousness:

Again, another odd word to be given. Although I’m kind of enjoying that the word choice is out of my hands and I just have to make it work. Another way for me to learn to let go and release control. I think it’s healthy.

Now about the coffee, the demitasse. I no longer drink coffee – it’s been almost 3 years since my last sip. At first I stopped drinking because I moved to the States and lived in a small town that wouldn’t know a real coffee if they saw it. It’s not their fault; it’s a cultural thing.

Coffee is about pleasure, hedonism, and the sweetness of doing nothing. It’s not about fast, takeaway, convenience. And unfortunately that’s the basis of American culture – convenience.

They have lost the art of life in a lot of ways due to this, especially when it comes to the food and beverage industry. An industry whose products greatly effect the guts and the minds of people, which are two places where a lot of pain and suffering stems from when not cared for properly.

.

Letter:

Dear the United States of America,

I hope this letter finds you well and prosperous, however going by the news these days, I’m not so sure.

I’m sorry to hear about the struggles you are going through, the issues you are facing time and time again. It must be difficult to find a way to solve all those problems. Especially since you’ve dug yourself into a bit of a hole…

I know it’s easy for an outsider to pass judgment, particularly when they don’t know all the ins and outs, and they don’t know what happens behind closed doors. But for a long time America’s turmoil has been broadcast to the world. So much so that people in other countries feel that it’s also their turmoil. That what happens to you, happens to us all.

As an outsider who’s spent a bit of time living and working in your country, and also having studied a little about your politics, may I be so bold as to put an idea forward?

It’s definitely not a solution – more an observation that may help you in the future.

I’ve travelled to quite a few different places and I often find that once you’ve had the experience of another country’s history and culture, there’s a word to describe that place most fittingly.

When I think of Italy, I think of pleasure.

The UK speaks to me of tradition.

India is striking.

Whereas when I reflect on the USA, it is convenience.

Convenience. It’s not exactly an inspiring word. If it were on a spectrum, it would be at the opposite end to creativity and innovation.

This doesn’t mean that I think America’s people are not creative, or that each individual city does not have it’s own unique flare. But as a country it seems that convenience reigns supreme.

When I think of the biggest brands and companies to come out of America, I think of Coca-Cola (causing sugar addiction), Starbucks (ruining coffee culture), McDonald’s (destroying rain forests and damaging human digestion), Kmart (making cheap crap that ends up in landfills), Nike (creating over-priced products off the backs of underpaid workers), Netflix (pumping out content no matter the emotional effects it has on viewers)… They are all driven by this idea of convenience – the easiest way to make a quick buck off the undiscerning consumer.

Sure I’ve only pulled a few, and they probably speak to some personal bias, yet that doesn’t change the fact that this convenience is effecting people’s bodies, their minds and ultimately their spirits. Even more so those that are underprivileged, from low socioeconomic backgrounds, with little access to a proper education.

I spent two years living in the USA and at times I found it seriously disturbing.  In small towns fast food chains are on every street corner, and that’s seen as varied meal options. In supermarkets junk foods have multiple aisles dedicated to them, taking pride of place over healthier items, and that’s viewed as normal. Anti-anxiety medication is promoted on TV with ridiculously long lists of side effects that are incomprehensible, and they’re considered beneficial. Super stores are full of every possible product under the sun, no matter if there’s only one tiny difference to it’s neighbour and it’s causing irreparable damage to the environment, and that’s supported as capitalism. And TV networks pump out hours and hours of content, irrespective of whether it’s repetitive, regurgitated rubbish, and that’s perceived as creativity.

I’ve never been more confused in my life than when I’m trying to understand your country.

It’s frustrating to see so many mistakes being made by a supposed “world leader”. And it’s even more frustrating when I look at my own country and see it beginning to model itself after you.

Where’s the innovation, the mindfulness, the compassion?

To me, those are the attributes that it takes to lead and to be great.

Stop pursuing what is convenient and start actualising what is going to make a difference to this world and change it for the better.

I hope that’s the direction you’ll move in, however I have serious doubts.

Especially when an absolute lunatic is running your country.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Bystander