#sorry not sorry I just love the concept of dirk being a mess

[an-american-teen-against-crime]

Hi! So I’m conducting kind of a survey/study? Can you rank the games in order from best to worst in your eyes? A simple list will suffice

AHH sorry this took me so long to finally do haha but I finally got it done! (this was. extremely difficult . I struggle) (also sorry some of my notes got kinda long so you can just skip ‘em if you wanna)

1. TRN- it has to be. My list has changed so much over the years and SPY was actually here once, but I’ve realized that this is the one that has stuck at the top throughout the years. It’s just SO. GOOD. from the music, plot, characters, hardy boys, setting, mystery, AUGH it’s amazing

2. SHA- I know this one is quite controversial in the fandom (chores.) but this had always been one of the top for me. It reminds me of my childhood (rip) and I just adore every single setting in this game- the atmosphere is wonderful. I just really adore the plot as well as the Dirk and Francis storyline, as well as the old west feeling (still not over the cliff dwellings or Dry Creek). THIS GAME MAKES ME V HAPPY

3. MHM- this was tough, but this was not only my first game but also it still holds up for me. It’s super old but I just adore the setting and gameplay, the spooks are top shelf and I just adore the feeling of this game from it’s puzzles and storyline. 

4. GTH- I have for sure played this game way too often, but I love it. The vibes in this game are TOP NOTCH, and I will never forget my first playthrough of this game. The story, the charACTERS, setting, music, is all so good. The puzzles tho are a bit of a draw back but I still love this game. 

5. SPY- I felt weird about have two “newer” games in my top five, but I genuinely love this game. It’s moved down since I’ve realized I kinda dislike the puzzles, but the spy aesthetic and the story of Nancy’s mom PLUS the Revenant/Colony Operation is SO INTERESTING to me. Not to mention this game has a unique story structure in the fact that Nancy solving the mystery is actually helping the bad guys which is really unique. I feel like this game also characterizes Nancy really well which I adore. 

6. CUR- So I actually thought this would be much lower on my list because I played this when I was much older than the other ones, so it has less nostalgia for me, but it still has some. (plus a lot of the game was spoiled for me before I played it because I watched a walkthrough of it. Dumb middle school Cambria WHY DID YOU DO THAT) The plot structure and just...the puzzles and how the whole game fits together is so amazing and the music/atmosphere/aesthetic is just SO AWESOME. Genuinely a spooky game and I adore it for that.

7. FIN- I adore this game, the plot, the timer/three days, the characters, setting, everything is awesome. I feel it’s pretty unique to the series which makes it even more special and its just SO GOOD. Plus it has Nick Falcone who is one of the best characters of all time. 

8. DDI- the atmosphere, THE MYSTERY, the whole setting it’s all just. wonderful. I love BEING in this game, and I feel like it’s one of those mysteries that really represents the series as a whole. 

9. TRT- Just like DDI I feel like this game really is a really good representation of these games as a series. It has everything that makes a good Nancy Drew game and it’s atmosphere is wonderful. I also love the history and while it’s way more treasure hunt like than mystery it does have good mystery elements and it’s a very cozy game.

10. SSH- I am shocked this game is so high, and I actually didn’t like it that much on my first playthrough. This is a game that gets better the more you play it because you uncover so much more- I love the museum and all the history, the social commentary, and the mystery IS SO INTERESTING. Like everything with Henrik trying to stop Sinclair and like you know there’s someone bad out there doing this stuff but you’re not sure who, and there’s all this information you uncover AHH. I know some don’t like the phone convos but I feel like tracking down all the different pieces opens up Nancy’s world so much and it makes it feel real. Also just the idea that you have to track them all down is so cool to me. Also the ending is freaky and gives me anxiety to this day.

11. SEA- this game makes me so happy, I adore Iceland, the setting, the story, the ship, the characters, ALL FABULOUS! Some of the puzzles are annoying but that’s a trend for the later games.

12. STFD- it shouldn’t be so high on the list probably but the mystery and plot line is always really fun for me. The whole premise, locations and iconic moments in this game are so special to me. I love just being in the game, it’s so simplistic. Plus, Dwayne Powers.

 13. WAC- this is the game I always fall back on to play. It’s further down simply because the puzzles are a little annoying at times, but the setting is great and I adore the school feeling of this game. It just always has been a game that has stuck out in my mind ever since it came out.

14. CLK- clk is so nostalgic for me, I literally don’t care about the time travel bit because it reminds me so much of reading the books. I love the town, the mystery, and it’s one of those games I can just relax in. You can spend hourS in this game and seriously do nothing but fish, deliver telegrams and play golf. Maybe a game of bard bounce in there too. 

15. SAW- I used to feel medium about this game, but as of my most recent replay, I’ve found I LOVE it. The setting is so freaky and I actually enjoy most of the puzzles. It just has this weird off feeling to it where you’re constantly being told everything is fine when everything is definitely not fine. I honestly wanna make a separate post just for this game, I have so many feelings on it haha.

16. DED- I love the feeling of this game, from it’s Tesla theme, to it’s puzzles, and also it’s a murder mystery which is super interesting. The mystery and gameplay is so fun for me, honestly not sure why.

17. CRY- I love this game’s atmosphere so so much, and a lot of the puzzles are really fun. The whole legend of the skull is fascinating and it has a great spooky vibe to it. However I feel like the plot is a bit weak and I am still salty Nancy doesn’t help Henry more. But also it has Henry Bolet.

18. TMB- I love Egyptology, I love archaeology, and this game is super fun to me for those reasons. the whole idea of the curse is spoopy and the puzzles are pretty cool too. I love both Dylan and Jamilla so that bumps this game up as well. 

19. VEN- I have wanted to go to Venice ever since I played this game, I feel it does a perfect job of making you feel like you’re really there. I love the whole spy aspects, and while some of the puzzles are EXTREMELY annoying it’s a really exciting game.

20. DOG- The vibe of this game is off the charts, I love the history and the mystery is kinda weird but leads you to a treasure hunt which is pretty interesting. I love the puzzles in this game and while the characters are kinda annoying I feel like this game is just so grounded and interesting. 

21. CAP- some stuff in this game is kinda dumb (PUZZLES. WHO PUT THEM THERE I NEED TO KNOW)  but the whole fairytale vibe is great, and I love the fact that Nancy is trying to track down a cryptid. I also kind of hate the culprit motivation, but it is what it is.

22. ICE- this is actually a pretty well put together game, I like the location, and the mystery is nice. It’s one of those that I really question the whole idea of why Nancy is solving the puzzles? Like I get it that she’s trying to get into the needle it’s just...sorta convoluted. Also some of the puzzles are really annoying in this game haha.

23. LIE- pains me to put this game so low on the list, but I freaking hate the puzzles in this game. I like the museum puzzles, and that’s IT. The set has no. reason. to have that weird of puzzles. This is one of those games that would have been better with the treatment of having more practical puzzles like the older games. Anyways, I still love the setting, the characters, and the fact that it’s in Greece, in a museum and has a play about a greek myth makes me really enjoy this game. Plus, I do like the whole villain plot and the ending you start feeling really trapped and freaked out which is exciting. 

24. ASH- I get why people love this game, I really do, but for some reason I always drag my feet to play it. It still is super interesting though from the mystery, characters, bad guy plan, and it has a good classic mystery vibe. I think I just have to be in the right mood to play it.

25. TOT- I actually do enjoy playing this game but the puzzles/chores can be really annoying, and I feel there needs to be more mystery. However I actually do enjoy the setting a lot and there’s something special about it to me. Plus I like to look at the clouds. :3

26. DAN- I like that it reminds me of Paris because it got that vibe, the history and locations are very cool, and I really enjoy being in the game. However the mystery is ditched for Nancy trying to solve the Noisette stuff which is annoying and weird and I feel like this game is a bit unfocused which bugs me. Plus I can’t remember a single puzzle right now other than that horrible wall clock puzzle.

27. MED- Yes, this game is a hot mess and I’m still upset about Sonny, but I actually really enjoy the location and puzzles of this game, it’s just really fun to be in. Also the reality tv show concept is fun. Wish the sheep were alive though.

28. HAU- I like a lot about this game but at the same time it feels very...small? Idk. I just feel like the whole game is Nancy running around on the moors solving random puzzles she just finds in the hopes of finding Matt. It’s weird. I do like the vibe tho and Fiona is a bit freaky. Plus, sheep.

29. CAR- peoplearegoingtomurdermeIwillbethenextjake listen I for some reason feel just meh about this game, idk if it’s just Joy, the location, or WHAT but for some reason it’s mostly meh for me. There’s bits that are fun and I always liked it when I was younger but for some reason it doesn’t do it for me. But I can get why people really like it! 

30. SCK: The vibes are great, the ending is v exciting, and I feel like the school is very creepy and the diner is a solid location. The whole mystery of how Jake was blackmailing everyone and the drug plotline is super interesting to me and while the disk switching drives me NUTS I really like pulling this one out just to feel like I’m in the 90s.

31. CRE- I think this game is fun and has some iconic bits to it, along with the fact I could spend hours at Big Island Mike’s Immersion Excursions, buT the fact is the mystery is freaking weird and I don’t like bugs. But we did get Big Island Mike. 

32. MID- Listen, this game is a good video game, but it’s a bad Nancy Drew game. I liked my first playthrough of this game, I really did, but theres just so many problems with it and it’s so upsetting to see what’s become of the series. You can tell that it wasn’t made by the same people and it doesn’t have the classic ND charm. There are a lot of plotholes and random stuff like the Hardy’s personalities in this game don’t make sense. However there are a lot of stuff that it enjoyable about this game and I will still replay it. It’s just kinda sad.

33. SCK Remastered: Lower than the OG because Beech is dumb and they changed the ending. Also some of the old magic is gone, and all the characters are way less likeable. However it did explain some stuff about Jake so there is that. 

34. RAN- It’s still fun at times and I like the location but the puzzles will be a thorn in my side till the day I die. Also the mystery is just meh. And it needed more characters, that’s just a fact. 

I guarantee that this will probably change by the time we are done with this playthrough, but until then this is my listing. I think it’s really a testament to the games though that there is no game I consider unplayable. SCK could be that game but I am willing to do the disk switching lol.

[claire-starsword]

as soon as dirk took over the meat route i was so infuriated by everything he said i ended up barely skimming 90% of the meat route and only reading it when it caught my interest. the repeated fucking outright abuse done to jake literally makes me so angry, the fact that they made jade into a horny plot device, and Oh Ny God jane is a fascist now? i am so fucking mad. i havent read candy yet. thats all

Just wrote my thoughts on Jane here, and to me she’s the worst part of this mess, I struggle to see how they got this from her character and even if the development made sense it would still be boring. Like wow, here comes Condesce 2: Now With Ten Times More Sex. 

(rest under readmore cause it got too long)

I ended up forgiving a lot of Dirk’s behavior because 1) any references to Detective Pony consume me with too much emotion to think straight, 2) it’s not like the narrative is defending his behavior, 3) I genuinely love the idea that the last step of characters ascending to godhood is an awareness of narrative structures and a loss of self. It’s a tragic but fantastic concept and the kind of thing I expect from Homestuck. 

Unfortunately instead of going interesting places it just destroyed any immersion I had in the story by portraying the characters as being just words any narrator can warp. Pour one out for Kanaya fellas, turns out she’s a fakey thing that can be turned into a hysterical wife or a useless sad thing or whatever the hell the plot needs with a flick of a wand. How dare you get attached to the fictional personalities and behaviors of a character, it’s all fake. Now pay attention to what really matters: the author’s ego represented by a few narrators and clever narrative tricks.

Lost track of where I was going but, Epilogue!Dirk is enjoyable if you want more meta on Dirk’s selves and Bro and their flaws, and kind of a good insight into an abuser’s mind at least in my opinion. If you wanted a closure of Dirk’s arc hinted in the original ending you got stomped on in the worst way possible. I’m sorry.

Oh, Jake. Jake. I remember being pissed when the credits came out on how Jake was treated as a sex icon despite previously showing discomfort on that, and how he was being punched around by Dirk again even though that was uh, literally everything that went wrong between them the first time! But then I thought hey, it’s okay, it’s just a little fun and memes and something for the Dirkjake shippers for credits. It’s all over now. The ending that matters are the last convos and Act 7.

Boy.

Boy how I wish it was over.

I legit don’t know what to say okay if you laugh at Jake’s treatment you’re wrong. I’m extremely sick of how Jake and Tavros are treated by both writers and fans as it seems to think bullying is funny as long as it is with someone who’s not smart, or if whoever’s doing it is cooler than you. Not that what happened with Jake in the epilogue can be called bullying.

It was so much worse.

Also have no idea when you sent this message and how much have you read by now so just pressing an F for you because if you hated Meat!Jade then Candy!Jade will be hell for you. Candy!Jade is my worst nemesis, it is likely a parody of bad love triangle fics but it is somehow worse. 

I’m conflicted about Meat!Jade because on one way I don’t mind Jade being overtly sexual as a sign of her social problems, and there are some good insights on her character sprinkled along the way, but in the end she’s too much a davekat satellite, I don’t get why they thought romance should be the focus on her character when in HS 99% of the time it was the boys who were too into her not the opposite.

Also she gets manipulated by someone else again in the end so yeah. This epilogue is only a rehash of old plot points. Even for those who weren’t offended by it I can’t understand how weren’t them bored by it.

[blaperile]

Homestuck Epilogues - Meat - Page 21 (Epilogue 4 Page 4)