#sorry if i'm not being productive. i swear im trying. i am just so stressed Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[averagstupideperson]

I feel so sick right now :[

These past few weeks are a pain

[fresh-tomatogogi]

Was scrolling through your art and I found incest (Scout and Spy) and beastiality (Spy with a dog as far as I can find). You have nice art, your understanding of anatomy is amazing! But this is disgusting. You are disgusting.

Im sorry to show this behavior to everyone. except this anonymous person😅

Are you the same person as Ask down there? I don't know what your intentions are but I'm quite excited for you now.

It's funny because I know the disgust you felt. Let me give you an example.

I also feel hatred and resentment towards the director every time I watch a movie with a great production of disgusting and terrible content by my standards. I feel offended by the fact that I felt great when I saw the work of "Such a person" and that I feel like I am associated with "such a person." So to prove that I am different from "such a person," I despise and criticize him, but at the same time I look up his work. Of course, I don't directly inform others of the blame or in a public place like you do. I know the least amount of manners.

It's a recognition error created by equating fiction with creators (like an audience attacking an actor who plays a villain on stage). It's very complex in this case, and I'm not trying to talk about this now, so let's move on.

Anyway, as you know, we call this denial. I understand your anger. And I've become a disgusting director who makes you experience denials, right? Haha, this is a lot of fun. It means that I've created something so influential that I can leave some confusion and appreciation for others regardless of my will and purpose. But at the same time, I'm disappointed that many people, including myself, are more easily affected by others than I thought and can't stand the small stimulus of being different from them (different from themselves = change = stress)

As a side note, to me, it's kind of a compliment to say that it's disgusting. The disgusting paintings you've seen are pornographic paintings of the pain and fetishized trauma I was experiencing at the time of painting through exaggerations and metaphors.

In fact, such extreme paintings are more like luminescence to endure pain than drawing. By drawing violence, I seem to calm myself down by creating the illusion that I can control the situation.

Like everyone else, the work includes the creator's experience! The picture of a spy being raped by a dog!! What happened to me at the time!! If I say this, people will tell me not to spoil other people's feelings by talking about personal details. Haha, they're right and i agree but what if my whole life is something that I shouldn't say? it makes me more and more crazier. It's only in pictures that I'm honest with metaphors. Anyway, you're right that you saw the painting properly, and this is proof that my expression was successful.

But where did you learn to hold on to anyone and swear first just because you are a squeamish person?

Is that your level of awareness? Or kind of racism? Because when I see a crowd like you, the overwhelming majority of people being blamed are Asian. And it's always the English-speaking Otaku who are making a fuss and agitating. Not all English-speaking people are like this. That's what my 5years-experience was like. Most of the Asian tf2 fans I subscribe to are called proshippers by English tf2 otaku and have been subjected to various insults, threats and bullying, including myself.

Among them, it was easy to see words telling them to kill themselves and wanting to kill them. Why are they so easily stimulated and ostracized? What is so terrifying? Or is it just for self-explanation?

This is also worth considering why. I'm guessing it's the cultural difference between the view that separates fiction from reality, but isn't racism from ignorance correct if it's really because of this difference? Wait, if the assumption is correct that the view that separates reality from fiction is weak, it means that they actually behave this way, do you behave this way in your social life?

If you're mental so unstable that you can't distinguish between fictional stories and reality and actually attack people like this, it's you who needs help.

Of course, in order to increase simple jealousy or the desire for moral superiority and the sense of belonging of the group they believe they belong to, there have been many cases of bullying those they perceive as relatively weak, so this should also be considered. In particular, people who lead or respond to this instigation seem to spend a considerable amount of time on the Internet fan community and find a lot of belonging and emotional comfort there.

Oh... I also want to write about 'proship', but I'm getting lazy. To sum up my opinion on proship, if you like TF2, everyone is "problematic".

They're mainly saying, "This is unethical, or Rape/incest is actually happening, so you shouldn't draw it porn because it stimulates the trauma of the actual victims... blah blah" Whata nonsense. Do they realize that I'm included in what they call the "actual victim"? Of course they can't. (+but i hate to be called victim. idk why🤪)

Those words are just meager, annoying excuses that they brought to justify violence against their opponents, because they just want to show disgust to people who like what they don't like.

We likes a game called Tf2 that was made to make war and violence and the valuelessness of personality (like zombies) comfortable and enjoyable. For them, war and violence and gore aren't real? not a problematic things?? This game is so that violence can be safely enjoyed in a safe place that the horrors have been purified and well hidden as being silly. fucking gross and j love it yum.

when I once explained Tf2 to a friend who was not interested in subculture like games, comics at all. she told to me that how they could make this things into a game, a caricature of War is so horrible.

Now can you understanding?? We don't deserve anyone. So Let's just shut up and enjoy the confusion and shame of self-reflection and contradiction. If you hate someone for some reason so you can't standing? Just shut up and block quietly or go outside and drink beer with your firends. What qualification do you have to control other people's delusions and hallucinations??

And did I force you to look at my paintings with guns and threats? I don't even know who you are. Don't hide in anonymity lol. ahh It's funny that you find my paintings on your own and get scared by yourself and whine at me like a 5 years old child. Anyway, someday you will enjoy these paintings when physical pain and trauma turn into fetish. Waitaminute, if you scrolled my arts, you would know right away that I am Korean. Why do you send an ask in English? Don't you know the existence of a translator? yeah You have zero manners.

Now done!!! Ofc I'm not saying everything I say is right., but it doesn't matter. I didn't write this to talk to you! It's just a one-sided shower of thoughts! like thoughts vomiting🤮. As you started first aeeheeee Actually your timing wasn't good. Normally, I just ignore people like you but My psychosis these days were really Bad and exploding due to personal happens. but thanks to your coming, I was able to divert my mind for a second! Thank you for the opportunity to pooping on you! I feel refreshed!👍👍👍

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33