#sorry for shitposting it's just that when I saw it separately it suddenly was like a whole new (and honestly better looking :') ) picture

[icantdothistodaybruh]

I took a screenshot and it's doing things to me I can't describe

[thecoolerliauditore]

Pls tell me about Scott's views on women in general pls I'm begging you

o7 and I'm sorry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fyi, the post itself isn't NSFW, but I'll be getting all gender theory in this bitch so I'll be referencing a lot of things and putting in pictures of naked ppl sometimes. maybe skip this one if you don't like that

(long post)

Disclaimers

An explanation for the tweet up there

I usually don't write these because I assume the people on my blog have enough sense to realise when I'm talking about the characters vs the CCs or are comfortable enough being a little confused, but I feel the need to extra-clarify here and expand on how I specifically view C vs CC because I think it differs a little from the average person.

To me, C and CC are two separate entities but not entirely disconnected. What differs (e.g. the exclusion of irl relationships -- their wives, kids, etc.) is poignant enough to severely detach them from the people they originated from, at least in my eyes, but there's also the fact that these are not scripted characters, just creators being themselves with a hint of behind the scenes drama-adding and improv thrown in.

For example, CC Pearl is a car nerd. So I assume her character is too.

This is where I state very clearly that yes, a lot of these thoughts come from things I've seen on Scott's twitter, which is undoubtedly the CC and not the C. However I, to me, am still talking about the C because any observations/judgments I could make on actual irl youtuber CC guy Scott Major would be tabloid at best and slightly invasive at worst. I'm seeing these statements within the context of "the death game guy would say this too and I'm writing this based on that", not "this is the inner psychological workings of the youtuber because I, as a fan, can totally tell".

TLDR I don't consider this post RPF but you might. This is a little more RPF-y than my usual stuff. If you don't rock with it we cool.

Everyone is weird about women, and that's okay

One short-hand I've used in the past to talk about Scott and women is just by saying that he's "weird about women" which I'm sure isn't exclusive to him.

(shitpost I made awhile back)

I see a lot of people now who love "villains" and "evil" but when it comes to any traits resembling real life evil (e.g. misogyny in this case) they suddenly become insecure. Just a couple of days back a saw a post on twitter essentially asking for permission to continue liking CC Scott in spite of the "bad things" he did.

And I think, in order to present an analysis like this, I must address that mindset first.

This is not a judgment on Scott's morality, nor is it trying to dissuade you from liking him. This is not saying that he is any more misogynistic than any other player in the series. This is just me pointing out Scott's attitude towards women and what I read it as, nothing less or more.

The feelings that me pointing these things out - be they apathy, disgust, anger or, what I would hope to see most, interest - are your own. I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel and never will try to police that on my blog.

Scott's Relationships with Women

aka. oh yeah this is about minecraft.

Scott and Cleo || "Yeah, you can kill me."

Scott and Cleo's alliance is arguably the strongest in the entire series, spanning through all five seasons and remaining unbroken with no (serious) drama attached. You'd expect from this that they two have a very settled and stable understanding of eachother, yet this isn't a case.

Their power dynamic shifts dramatically from one season to the next.

3L's initial Widows Alliance began on fairly equal footing, built on the mutual agreement that they were waiting for their respective partners to die. Both understood they were eachothers' "plan B" and felt comfortable in that arrangement.

Come LL, Cleo does what she couldn't in 3L, and initiates that plan, going to Scott after her last alliance, the fairy fort, fell apart. Scott requests nothing from her in return.

DL is the longest the two spent as eachothers main ally. Cleo is the one who initially proposes teaming up to spite their "cheating" soulmates and Scott agrees. Cleo admits to Martyn in private that she's aware she's taking advantage of Scott (which I've always interpreted as her talking about all seasons, not just DL). Due to the time they spend together, it's here where it becomes apparent that their initial assumptions during 3L were not entirely accurate, as Scott shows a level of gameplay competency much higher than Cleo's (e.g. teaching her how to axe-crit) but despite this Scott never berates her or thinks any less of her value as his ally.

LimL is probably this pairing at their most unhinged, as Scott, despite once again asking for nothing (or very little -- I'll be honest I'm a bit fuzzy on this) in return from Cleo, allows them and their allies to butcher him repeatedly for time. He gives more time to the Clockers than he does to Martyn, his closest ally that season. Despite this, Scott is never ever considered as a "family member" by the Clockers, despite them giving that title to even temporary allies (like the Bad Boys being their cousins) -- even Martyn gets a title with Scott completely unattached.

SL is relatively more chill, but shows that the two inevitably end up teaming together even despite their oath to avoid eachother that season.

The point being -- again and again, we see Scott literally and metaphorically making sacrifices for Cleo, with the only real transaction he requires from her being that she continues having his back when times get rough. This is despite that he's aware she isn't any more capable than he is and the fact that so far it has only been Cleo in rough times (LL, LimL and SL) and never Scott.

Speaking from a purely transactional perspective, Scott is not getting a bargain here -- and even Cleo seems acutely aware of it, judging by her comment during DL as well as the way she tends to speak of her survival capabilities very lowly in general ("rubbish pvp skills and spiffy one-liners"). I'm speaking in this sense because I've seen discussions in the past about the transactional way Scott views relationships but rarely does Cleo get brought up.

This is at stark contrast to how he treats Jimmy, whose predicted death was what spurred on Scott and Cleo's alliance in the first place.

Scott assumes Jimmy is "incompetent", where he assumes Cleo is capable. When Jimmy messes up, he reprimands him, when Cleo struggles to crit him, he patiently teaches her. When LL begins, Scott's first instinct was to look at Jimmy's lives and note that he was "useless to (him)", but holds no objections to Cleo joining his alliance despite her already having enemies being a potential liability. In SL, he jokes about how Cleo and him being allied is a given and pretty much expected of them, whereas in LimL he explicitly requests from Jimmy a recognition that he still cares ("say love you back!") before he will help him.

Scott and Gem || "You HAVE TO kill me, Gem,"

In SL, Gem settles in very easily in a leadership position within Gem and the Scotts due to her trying to live up to her reputation but also due to Scott and Impulse's more laid back, passive playstyles.

Both Scott and Impulse let Gem kill them for extra health this season, although Scott is arguably much more subservient than Impulse is, with him not only insisting that she kill him in the final episode but also not fighting back (and only yelling for her to stop) when she starts hitting him with a sword during the episode where her task was to literally kill everyone on the server.

Once again comparing her to Jimmy, Scott in 3L had a tendency to brush aside Jimmy's concerns over alliances (e.g. Jimmy questioning if they could trust Cleo) while in SL Scott runs his plans by Gem (and Pearl and Impulse) in terms of who he wanted to team up with (specifically excluding Joel from the potential mounders alliance) implying he held her opinion in some form of regard.

Before this becomes less of an analysis of Scott's treatment of men vs women and more of Scott's treatment of Jimmy vs everyone else, I think it's notable enough to mention that he and Martyn also lacked this sort of communication in LimL. He would inform Martyn of his plans, but rarely was it ever framed as a request.

SL almost feels as if Scott has slid Gem into the slot he had previously designated for Cleo in 3L (his girlboss ally) as he provides her and pretty much forces onto her by the end the acts of service he'd become accustomed to performing for Cleo.

Scott and Lizzie || "You killed her! I don't.. I don't know what to even say!"

Relatively shorter section because this is the one woman he hasn't teamed with, but there's still some interesting stuff I wanted to touch on.

In LL, one of the first thing Scott does is yell at Pearl to revenge-kill Joel for boogey-killing him. Pearl does as she's told and Joel's wet miserable pathetic LL life gets worse from there.

Several episodes later, the roles are reversed -- Lizzie lies to both of them and manages to isolate and boogey-kill Pearl. Scott, instead of reacting with the anger he had for Joel, is almost in a state of shock as he asks Lizzie to let him down so he could collect Pearl's belongings. He doesn't act aggressively towards Lizzie at all, with his most antagonizing act against her being to lie about his intentions when giving her a wither skull.

In SL, he's the only one aware of her early permadeath, but keeps quiet about it almost as if he's in a state of shock akin to when he saw Lizzie kill Pearl in LL. It's not until the others have noticed when he finally brings it up.

Scott and Pearl || "Tilly death do us 'part"

I wrote a whole post just for their relationship alone so for the sake of my sanity I'll be leaving this here.

So now I get to dedicate this section to the meat of this post -- how the way Scott treats women in general impacts his relationship with Pearl and how I view his heel-turn on her as seeping with relevance to Pearl's perceived gender.

In all three of the previous sections, the running theme is that Scott is 1. kinder and more patient with women, regardless of their competency and 2. someone who likes to be in a supporting role to women, occasionally aiding them more than he aids himself and his closer male allies (e.g. Jimmy and Martyn). As shown with Cleo, he assumes that girls have it together, but even if they don't it's not a big deal. When a girl's actions are truly disastrous, such as with Lizzie's, he goes into a state of shock and doesn't really react, preferring to swallow it down and not acknowledge it.

With the amount of times he sacrifices himself, I don't think it's a reach to say that Scott values his own life less than he values the lives of his (female) allies. This specific point actually does extend to his male allies too, shown when he's happy when Martyn literally backstabs him in LimL, but just as with the Martyn post where I point out his victim status-ing doesn't end at only women but includes all the women, Scott has pedastal-ed all the women he's teamed with.

Lizzie is, once again, the exception here due to his limited interactions with her. However that's actually somewhat patched over if you look at adjacent series (such as x-life) where he definitely shows her a level of admiration and respect.

Back to Scott and Pearl.

Their relationship during LL is very standard of how Scott treats women. While the power dynamic between them is obviously more caused by the initial life trade agreement, I don't think it's a far reach to say that Scott is somewhat comfortable in the arrangement.

However, this is also the first thing that sets their relationship apart from Scott with Cleo or Gem -- Pearl is the one making sacrifices, not Scott. She is the one "sacrificing" her lives to him, just in a more non-violent way as allowed by the season's mechanics.

When viewed through this lens, Scott trying to make it up to her and wanting his effort acknowledged makes even more sense. This is suddenly uncharted waters for him. His assuming that Pearl doesn't value him as a person goes hand in hand with him valuing himself less than her.

What Scott has with Cleo or Gem, situations where the other party is clearly uncomfortable with how he treats himself (Gem) or actively aware they are taking advantage of him (Cleo), is equalized to him because he is inherently worth less. What he has with Pearl, on the other hand, looks more equal to most people (lives vs labour) but is wildly imbalanced to him.

It's one of the many factors I see going into Scott's weird decision to abandon her in DL.

An Interlude, Before We Get to DL

La Pieta, Michelangelo

So this has been a lot of words so far and some of you might be wondering at this point: why say Scott is "weird" about women when so far this has been describing how he values women more, is kinder to them, is more patient with them, etc.? How is any of this behaviour remotely misogynistic?

And I would feel horrible if I forced you to read through all of my DL thoughts before I clarified this -- Scott is not your classic wifebeater "women are lesser" misogynist, Scott is someone who subscribes to misogynistic schools of thought and probably considers himself an ally to women, when in reality his beliefs are still rooted in dehumanizing them and these beliefs end up harming the women around him as well as himself.

After all, seeing women are your superiors is still not seeing them as your equals.

I know it's a bit of a meme on this blog at this point. But. Sigmund Freud identified what we know refer to as the "madonna/whore complex", which he described as a pattern of behaviour in men who separated women into being madonnas (pure, holy and admirable) and whores (debased, sexual, deviant). We'll be focusing on the former, the madonna, as it is more relevant to Scott's character.

Freud proposed that the madonna figure was something men projected onto women as a replacement for maternal love. These women are sacred and untouchable, literally as the projection of the maternal role onto them also makes it so that the sufferer cannot feel any sexual attraction towards her (keep this in mind for later).

Scott projects the madonna figure onto his female compatriots -- they are to be protected, served and supported. They are goddesses, queens, but they are never human. The madonna role in of itself is not inherently harmful to the woman, as seen with Cleo who takes control and advantage of it. However, it is enforced, as seen with Gem who at first revels in the superiority but almost breaks down when Scott offers him up as her sacrificial lamb one last time.

I linked this Utena AMV awhile back when vaguely talking about Scott and women, and this was the point I was alluding to.

Girls are beautiful and pure. They don't spit on the street, they don't piss on the street, they don't build hierarchies -- they subvert all the expectations of masculinity that I hate having to deal with. They are my escape.

But what about the girls who do spit on the street? The girls who piss on seats? Who build social hierarchies, who size up their competition?

The girls Scott interacts with are all painfully human. Cleo weaponizes his beliefs and take advantage of him. Scott is smart enough to know and accept this. Gem's playing into a role she has been assigned into by not only Scott but everyone around her. Scott supports the character she plays. Lizzie reflects traits he hates in Joel and Jimmy, but for her, he looks the other way.

Are they "demons", as the song says, or are they no longer girls at all?

(demons, gods, but never humans)

Weaponized Femininity and Women In Total Control of Themselves ;)

Hylas and the Nymphs, John William Waterhouse

Historically, weaponized femininity I'd argue is one of the oldest tropes in storytelling. Whether it's nymphs or sirens or witches or succubi or even more roundabout cases like Helen of Troy, there's countless stories of men's sexual attraction to women leading them to disaster.

One way to view these stories is to see them as warnings, don't let womens allure be the end of you.

There's a lot of good writing done on the femme fatale trope both in the context of weaponizing femininity and as a sexist way to argue against victims of sexual assault, as these stories often say that men who experience attraction to these "evil" women no longer have agency over their own actions.

Look at the painting above, for example - is it the nymphs who are responsible for drowning Hylas, or is Hylas climbing into the lake of his own accord?

Despite the fact we all know sirens, nymphs and succubi aren't real, the belief that men will simply lose control of themselves when encountering a particularly alluring woman persists to the modern consciousness. That there's something inherently dangerous about women and attraction to them.

(this is not 100% applicable to Ninja saying he won't stream with women, but it's the real life example I felt most comfortable putting in here)

Now, let's combine this with what's been said so far -- let's say you don't hate women. You love women, in fact, and you hate the way men treat women. You hate men, in fact.

Yet, you still believe in this inherent power women hold by being female and the loss of agency that men experience when attracted to them -- how disgusting.

It quickly becomes easily to not only demonize men for sullying the holiness of women, but also men, masculinity and attraction to women as a whole.

(apologies for using twt discourse in the meta post but this flew by my TL and i had to grab the irl example of mens non-violent attraction to women being used to frame them as misogynistic before the stupid app refreshed and i lose everything forever)

"To Venner" is a student film exploring a world set within this belief, where all the women have vanished and the men have become monstrous figures as a result of their pent up sexual frustration. fyi this is one of my favourite student films (and ive watched a bunch), but I do think its messaging is worth breaking down (especially its juxtaposition of dirty horrible monstrous sexuality vs pure and beautiful romantic love)

NOTE: this film is super graphic, lots of violence and nudity. have fun. or not

I admit this section is a bit hard to gauge as everyone in the series is gay as fuck. The closest in-series example I can think of is Scott reacting to Martyn's antics in DL with a sort of indigence but otherwise I can't really think of an example of a man expressing attraction to a woman at all, let alone one Scott reacted to. However, I do think it's still worth talking about because it opens up some interesting trains of thought in regard to Scott and Pearl.

For Scott, he himself has never been part of the picture. He's gay, after all, which gives him an edge over the bad straight men who objectify and assault women. Likewise, there's little evidence to suggest he finds the expectations of masculinity frustrating, but I don't think it's too far a reach considering how common of an experience that is for gay men and his adapting of more feminine mannerisms.

Double Life and Corruption

As mentioned in my previously linked post about Scott and Pearl's relationship, I do think Scott experiences what he would name as attraction towards Pearl, so my writing will reflect that.

Pearl is. ahem. not like other girls.

Not actually. But to Scott, she probably isn't like other girls.

She remains unaware of his different standards for her (how could she when she had nothing to compare them to), she acts out, sometimes violently, against Scott's urging (such as when she stole from Scar's wagon). She maintains their already irregular dynamic, and while she appreciates his care for her, she never quite falls into seeing him as a source of subservience the way Cleo or Gem do.

At the end of LL, right before the 1v1v1v1, she monologues to herself that she no longer has to feel bad for killing Scott. Which, in turn, implies she expected Scott to give it his all against her as well.

She entirely fails to embody the madonna with her immature naivete and her questionable morals. She is unpredictable, she doesn't take what she is owed, she is a monster in a lot of ways.

Scott, too, is a monster, to himself, for how he feels about her.

The very foundations of your understanding of yourself being ripped apart aside, let's rewind to the madonna/whore complex. To sexualise the madonna is to corrupt her and make a monster of yourself. Suddenly, you are no better than the men around you, the ones you've grown to hate. Suddenly, you are the grotesque figures in films like To Venner. You are Hylas and she is the nymph. And you are so stupid. Your worldview crumbles around its flawed foundations.

Scott is, however, immune to this corruption. This is a theme that appears in Empires as well, but throughout the traffic series he's prided himself on being loyal and kind and good. His monologue leading up to LL's 1v1v1v1 summarizes it quite well.

He can't let himself or anyone else see this side of him, but the energy needs to go somewhere. To defy fate, abandon your soulmate, is to admit you had a fate in the first place, is to acknowledge that she was your soulmate in the first place.

I've previously talked about how fate and romance are very ingrained in Scott's belief system, if it was anyone else it would've been amazing. He could've been like Bdubs and Impulse or Ren and Bigb, diving into domestic life and performative romance with a stranger. Or the world could've made his happy ending from 3L real, as he got to be Jimmy's husband all over again. I think it says something that he accepts Cleo as a "soulmate" before Pearl.

So what do you do with all that energy and tension, clearly apparent to yourself and everyone else, when you can't let them observe your feelings?

You project them.

Shout-outs to @/legally-allowed-to-slime for pointing out Pearl's comment early on in DL that she "feels like (she's) been broken up with" confirms she never saw Scott in a romantic sense. The "crazy ex-girlfriend" and "this is why I'm gay" comments really did come out of thin air, or perhaps insecurity.

Pearl is the crazy one. She's insane, because she wants me. She wants to be with me, so she does all this crazy stuff. She's lost control of herself because she wants me. She's disgusting.

I mentioned before that Scott is not your classic misogynist, but this is where the gears start turning. Scott's views of Pearl echo that of other players, most prominently Ren and Martyn, that Pearl has been overcome with some sort of corruption. She has become the witch, the demoness, the whore, in their eyes. Scott does not want to be the same as these men and I think his overcorrecting his behaviour in SL makes sense when you view it from this angle, but for now he has to rely on more traditional misogyny in order to navigate this new obstacle.

"Corruption" also implies that she had to have been pure (or at least pure-er) beforehand, something Scott personally knows is not true, but it falls in line with defaulting women to being "madonnas".

This is a Scott post but. shout outs to Ren for being all of this about Pearl but without the complexity of Scott like he literally accuses Pearl of seducing Bigb what the fuck man.

Pearl is, of course, none of that. But she plays into the role of being the witch much better than she fared playing into the role of the madonna.

Sidenote: I know I'm looking at this from a Scott/Pearl POV but I do feel like you can omit Scott's attraction if you look at it from a purely "pearl not performing to standards of femininity I expect and she makes me realise I don't view women as a whole as human which makes me feel weird so now we have to do this" POV. Like idk I think the exact reason he abandoned Pearl is going to be lost on everyone forever so any analysis I could perform is going to suffer at least a little bit of making-shit-up-itis.

I do also think there's something to be said about Pearl being pushed until she performed a role, any role and generally failing at Being A Girl tm but that's another post i think. yknow shes um. a bit. 🏳️‍⚧️ (but also very much not at the same time idk that's gonna need its own post)

anyway yeah uh the minecraft movie looks crazy huh

[bookwyrminspiration]

I CANNOT believe fakemintan + Dawnbreaker infiltrated the Tumblr fandom. That's absolutely insane. Fakemintie was a popular figure on the wiki fandom from about 2018-2019, and I think about her almost every day. She was the creator of bald Keefe, as well as many other wonderful edits, and she shipped herself with Fintan: FakeMintan. quil if you want me to, I could go on forever and tell you the entire history of fakemintan and the fakemintan wiki and what the 2018 wiki fandom was like. it's a RIDE. there was also gisorkle, which was some really complicated theory involving Lady Gisela and Mr. Forkle (not a ship), but I'd have to consult someone more involved in that.

Unfortunately, most of the original posts were lost when FANDOM transitioned to a new platform in 2020. The content was so good, too... it's too bad. But one of the current wiki administrators, Gildie-Everblaze, was one of the authors of Dawnbreaker, and she would know better than me.

unfortunately the legend fakemintie disappeared one day and was never seen again :( and her IRL friend Mintie, who was a wiki admin 2020-2021, is gone now too, so there's no way at all to contact her. I miss her.

sorry for infodumping, it's just that I could talk for literal hours about the history of the fandom + explaining it— I've thought about making YouTube videos before about it—

who knew my offhanded shitpost would awaken such a visceral, ingrained memory in so many people !!

the wiki sounds like an absolutely chaotic place to be, I must admit. though the FakeMintie being a username makes a lot more sense as to where the name came from. naming a goldfish after yourself or however that worked out is a little less explainable but honestly projecting yourself into a story as a goldfish is understandable. wake up babe new y/n just dropped, if you get what I mean. Also, I think i've seen bald keefe! I don't see a lot of kotlc edits (in case you couldn't tell, I've kinda dug myself very deep into the character analysis/logistical side of the fandom. i might be that side of the fandom). I have a memory of other bald edits following afterwards, some becoming profile pics. but i could be making that up

gisorkle is funny just for the name itself. like snorkling. brb just gonna go gisorkling. but whatever theories there were behind that sound intriguing!

oh no! sorry so much of the content got lost--I can only imagine how devastating that would be. FakeMintan seems to be pretty well loved by a fair number of people...

it's always bittersweet when people you interacted with/followed/just saw around disappear from the internet. Not too long ago i was going through my following list and unfollowing a bunch of blogs that were inactive now and so many of them hadn't posted since like 2019 and it felt so strange, which i guess my brain has made an association to your Mintie disappearing. i hope maybe one day you'll be able to get in contact again--you never know! Just a few weeks ago one of the people I knew from elementary school found my email and reached out to me to reconnect. Hadn't seen him or heard from him in over five years and yet suddenly we (and another person from then) were just talking like we'd never separated. so maybe you'll find him again!

and don't worry: there's nothing to apologize for! i think a lot of the knowledge you have is fascinating, and I'm entirely open to hearing whatever it is you'd want to share. Also, if you felt like making youtube videos, I'd 100% watch! it's super cool when people have very expansive knowledge of very niche things!!

[intelligentdumbass]

The Golden Apple Incident but-

(Honestly writing this felt like writing a glorified shitpost, so-)

Olympus’ garden was breath-taking; bioluminescent flowers blooming under Selene’s far-reaching gaze as the immortals were having the time of their lives, drunkenly singing under the serene night sky.

Hermes couldn’t help but subtly gaze back at Apollo every now and then, who was talking with one of the muses, when someone caught him off guard by wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He instantly knew who it was the second he smelled the wine in his breath.

“Jealous?~” Dionysus wiggled his eyebrows.

Hermes scoffed. “Jealous of what?”

Dionysus motioned back to the nine sisters. Calliope had her arms wrapped around Apollo’s neck while the god had just given her a small kiss. Hermes rolled his eyes, but, oh little did he know, he was faintly blushing.

The younger brother sighed.

“Look man, if you’re going to keep this up, then you‘re absolutely hopeless. I mean, at this point literally everyone except the distracted blonde you haven’t confessed to knows that you want a piece of that-”

“Hahahaha, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, have you seen Eris? I heard she wasn’t-”

��Hey, don’t change the subject!”

“It’s not what you think! I swear I was just slightly… concerned? I don’t know, he seems a lil off and Cal can prolly sense it too-”

“Pft, excuses excuses-”

Then it happened.

The festivities were suddenly interrupted by their father’s voice thundering across the garden.

“AH-” “What’s this?!”

On his hand he held out an apple as if it was made of pure solid gold. The fruit had struck him on the nose while he was chatting with his siblings. It glimmered and sparkled under the ambient moonlight as if it was enticing all of the immortals to come and have a closer look.

“It… has something engraved onto it? Hold on-” He cleared his throat, and now all eyes were on the king.

“‘It is with my greatest pleasure to present this apple to the loveliest god of them all, a trophy that will stand the test of time, a symbol of the lord’s unrivalled beauty and allure.’”

Whispers echoed throughout the venue, jumping from ear to ear. Now, of course, Zeus would’ve gladly declared himself ownership of the gift as it was thrown at his face. However, barely had a minute passed when the apple was already gone; snatched out of Zeus’ hands by the god of love whose wings immediately threw him up into air as he curiously stared at the prize he was about to award to himself.

“Still the same old insolent piece of shit, huh?”

A golden arrow whizzed out of nowhere, fired from a silver bow and carried by the evening breeze. It narrowly missed Eros’ head and pinned the fruit against one of the trees.

Eros flew after the apple as fast as he could, but by the time he managed to grab a hold of it, there was already another hand, from the archer god himself, and neither party seemed willing to let go.

He hissed. “You arrogant bastard.”

Apollo replied with a shit-eating grin. “Oh please, look whose talking.”

There was one single thought in Hermes’ head. ‘Oh boy.’ He tried to get even closer, running to where Ares and Aphrodite were. He just had to see this.

“Wait!” Athena interrupted, as she was a teensy bit worried that those two were about to murder each other. “This all feels a little… off. We don’t even know where that apple came from-”

“Don’t know; don’t care Misses killjoy!” Eros rolled his eyes. “I can assure you that I sense no malicious auras or weird obscure magic so, perhaps this really is just a gift from some fanatic, at which I am extremely flattered-”

Apollo laughed. “Really, you?? Why on earth would anyone give this to a saucy twink who’s barely taller than Hermes?”

The messenger frowned at the mentioned of his height. Ares gave him a few pats on the back while Dionysus, Artemis and a few other gods snickered. Athena just sighed like she gave up and doesn’t want to involve herself any further. On the other hand, Zeus had stopped trying to come up with a scheme to take back the fruit the second he saw his son want it too. Still though, the way Eros’ and Apollo’s fingers twitched, almost like they wanted to break each other’s necks, was starting to get kind of concerning.

“Okay okay please calm down, both of you.” The last thing Zeus wants is someone’s ichor to be spilled in the middle of a goddamn wedding. “How about-”

“Since you’re the king of the gods, that you be the judge of whoever is deserving to have this apple?” Apollo smiled. “What a wonderful idea father!”

Eros took advantage of that brief distraction of Apollo addressing his father to take the apple and throw it towards his dear mother. “Look, I know he’s usually the one who calls all the final shots, but don’t you think it’d be more fitting to let the literal goddess of beauty decide?”

Zeus thought about it, but decided that choosing between his favorite son and the bastard that could make his libido act up again was a terrible idea. Even Aphrodite herself seemed hesitant to choose and handed the fruit over to Ares because he and Hermes wanted a closer look.

“Uhm, no. I think my very obvious biases would make me one of the least fitting judges for that matter; same goes for Aphrodite. How about… let a mortal who is not part of any of your cults decide, and to please swear not to endanger their life over this.”

 The two gods gave each other a brief death glare before reluctantly agreeing to Zeus’ suggestion.

“Good. Now, where did that apple go?”

They all turned towards Ares, who didn’t have the golden fruit in his hands.

“Dad.” Eros stared. “Where’s the apple?”

“Let’s just say… I got hungry.”

There was a long pause before Eros continued.

“C-Come again?”

“I said what I said; I got hungry and that apple was right there and I got curious so, yeah. Surprisingly tasty-”

“I’m sorry,” Athena just had to interject. “But did you just admit to eating a lump of gold?!”

“Bold of you to assume that would stop the god that broke a chicken’s femur when he bit into its thigh.”

The goddess couldn’t tell if he was faking it and therefore hiding something or if he was actually very serious. Now she really did give up listening in to this conversation and proceeded to walk off to wherever Persephone and Artemis were. It was probably for the best, as it almost looked like she was losing more and more brain cells the longer this situation went on.

Apollo raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. Meanwhile, Eros was struggling to process what the fuck just happened. He flew over to Hermes who was trying his best not to laugh his ass off.

“Hermes, do you have something to do with this? Did you steal it??”

“Huh? No, why the hell would I want to steal it?? I may be cocky, but not that kind of self-aggrandizing cocky. I don’t have the golden apple with me.”

Eros narrowed his eyes. “How do I know you’re not-”

“Because he isn’t, all of what Hermes just said is true.” Despite the contents of what he said being perfectly harmless, Apollo sounded like he was about to brake Eros’ back the moment he saw the god of love reach into his quiver.

Eros backed off. “Okay okay, but then what? Is that it?!”

The blonde shrugged. “It appears so.”

“Why do you suddenly act like you don’t care??”

“I mean, of course having a pretty golden apple say you’re the best is great, but in my case it’s kind of unnecessary, isn’t it? Like, duh.” There it was again, that shit-eating grin. “Honestly, it was mostly because I didn’t want YOU to have it and gods fucking forbid you use it to constantly annoy me for the rest of eternity.”

---------------------------------

Despite the incident that had killed the mood a few minutes ago, the party seemed to be back in full swing now that Aphrodite took Eros back to wherever Psyche was. It was almost like nothing had ever happened.

Hermes, however, was interested in separating himself from everyone else as far as he possibly could, and he had dragged Apollo along with him until they were deep in some obscure part of the garden.

The messenger let out a nervous laugh. “Okay I have something I need to tell you.”

“That what Ares said, even though I can definitely see him doing it just to piss me off, was a red herring and that he hid the apple somewhere before giving it back to you once Aphrodite got Eros to go away?”

“Damn, you know me too well huh?” He took off his hat, revealing the luster of gold resting on his brown chestnut hair.

The archer laughed. “I’m surprised you got him to cooperate.”

“Guess I’m just that likeable! Plus, he owed me one after distracting you for… something.”

“You what-”

The messenger grabbed the apple and placed his cap back on his head. “I didn’t steal it for myself though.” He smiled, “It is with my greatest pleasure to present this apple to the loveliest god of them all, a trophy that will stand the test of time, a symbol of the lord’s unrivalled beauty and allure.” and then offered up the prize to the surprised blonde.

Apollo accepted, mildly flustered. “Is… Is there some sort of ulterior motive to this?”

“I… suppose you could call it that.”

He sighed. “What do you want, Herms?”

“W-Well… it’s nothing big.” There was a sudden faint flush on Hermes’ cheeks. “What about… a kiss?”

The archer stared and the messenger almost started backtracking on his request but, well, the blonde cut him off before he could, with a soft peck on his lips.

[ff15trashgoldenslumbers]

it took me all day to think of a request that didn't sound 100% like a shitpost!!! The bros and cor with an s/o who has chronic pain and tries to act like they're fine but they're like "I'm dyin lol" --joioliviapolaroid

Well…well…well As you have come to know, I love shitposts as much as serious inquiries.  Let’s see if I can make some magic. ╰(•̀ 3 •́)━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟGonna throw in some Lunafreya for free since you know, Waifu. @joioliviapolaroid

~~~~~

Noctis

Weapons vanished in hands as Noctis moved over to you for his celebratory hug and peck from you. Only to watch as you collapsed to the ground, holding your back. Worried that you had gotten hit by a stray attack the Prince quickly rushed over to you.

“Y/N are you okay?” He asked the others were slightly further away having got separated in the fray of battle.

“Ah, you know Death is near.” You responded with a laugh, as those worried blues eyes checked you over. It felt like you were in an X-ray machine with the way that he looked at you.

“You’re not, let me see,” Noctis called.

“I’m not getting undressed in public, what kind of lady do you take me for?” You gasped playfully.

Noctis wanted to growl, as he sent you what was hopefully a stern glare. It must have worked as you slowly turned around, slightly raising your shirt. He didn’t see anything different, aside from that old burn wound from years ago when you were attacked as a child which caused considerable nerve damage. His hand reached out touching the wound softly, as you jumped.

“Cold, cold.” You muttered.

“Does it hurt?”

“Nah, I’m good.” You smiled, lowering your shirt to go and stand, only for a jolt of pain to go up your back again, sending you to the ground, your boyfriend immediately hovering over you. “No, No, I’m a big girl, I can do this!”

Noctis groaned as he rolled his eyes, bending down too quickly scoop you up into his arms. Where you started to flail demanding to be put down, and that you could walk when you could hardly stand.  Why couldn’t you let him know when you met your limit? “Stop it.”

“No, you’ll end up hurting your back, and leg.” You objected.

“Just let me do this for you!”

You froze, suddenly realizing just how embarrassing you were. You wrapped your arms around your Prince’s neck, allowing him to carry you back to the others burying your face in his shoulder.

“Noctis…”

“Yeah?”

“…thanks.”

“…yeah.”

~~~~~

Prompto

Prompto’s camera slowly slides down his face as he looked to you, hunched over on the rock. Well sprawled out facedown was more than likely the correct answer, you had overdone it again and you didn’t tell him. He always hated when you did this.

“Sweetie,” Prompto called, not wanting to startle you off the rock and risk any further injury. “You okay?”

“Perfectly…*huff* fine. Just *huff, huff* who needs air to live, y’know.” You smiled, turning towards him, still heavily panting.

Prompto moved beside you, resting his hand on your back, feeling your labored breathing. Both you and he should have known better than your sports asthma was going to act up in this heat, and with the dust kicked up walking here, “Do you have your inhaler?”

You waved it off, “No,*huff* no I left it at *huff* the campsite. I’m fine *huff, huff* it’s cool.”

Prompto put his camera away, your panting was getting worse, the blonde then begun to pet himself down.

“What *huff* are you doing?” You asked, trying to sit up, only to have Prompto gently lay you back down.

Prompto remained checking his pockets, what a dumb time to wear cargo pants, so many pockets.  Still, he shouldn’t have asked you to come out in this weather and should have made sure that you had your inhaler.

“Got it!” He cheered, pulling the red pump from his pocket, he knew that he had your spare. “Sit up for me, Sweetie, and put your arms up.”

You wanted to swat him away and prove you were fine. Yet those tears within those baby blues made you take his hand, allowing you to sit up, as the pump was put to your lips. You inhaled as he held the pump, pushing the medication within you, then again.

“Feeling better?” Prompto asked, your wheezing was already getting under control.

“Mmhm.” You muttered, “Sorry for making you worry.”

Prompto smiled, pocketing your inhaler, before turning around, “Here I’ll carry you back.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I want to.”

~~~~~

Gladiolus

He saw it before you were even aware that it was happening, Gladiolus was no stranger to pain. So when you suddenly lost your balance and had a wooden sword slam into your head, lucky the man had only done it with enough force to knock you off your feet.

“Dead.” He called.

“Who you telling?” You muttered, rubbing the spot where your beloved boyfriend had the gaul to actually hit you in the head. “Wanna be a little nicer to your girlfriend and not give her a concussion big guy? I’m already jacked enough.”

Gladiolus groaned as he sat down before you, “What the hell was that?”

“What, I’m just off my game,” You scoffed, crossing your legs. “Like you’re mister perfect.”

Gladiolus tried to stare you down, yet unfortunately, with you being his girlfriend it held no effect towards you as it would for others. Instead, the man rolled his eyes, you always got kind of - what was the best word for it - bitchy when you were in pain or your ankle was acting up.

“Come on, I’m not getting any younger, again.” You called, moving to stand, only to shriek as your left leg was suddenly pulled out from under you and you were all but dangling from Gladiolus hold. “What the, put me down!”

“No, you’re hurt and not taking care of yourself.” He replied, as he removed your shoe, showing the angry bruise already forming. “Where’s your brace?”

“I don’t…I don’t need.” You growled, only to shriek as he stood, holding you upside down, yet now rather by wrapping an arm around your waist. “I’m a grown ass woman, put me down Gladiolus!”

“Obviously not,” Gladiolus replied.

“You asshole, I said put me down!” You yelled, trying to kick at him.

“If you’re not going to take care of yourself that I’m going to.”  He stated, managing to situate you so that you were instead tossed over his shoulder now, as he begun moving toward the infirmary to get you another brace.

“I’ll kick your ass! I said I’m fine! Put me down!” You barked, yet he was much stronger than you, and you were only making yourself look foolish, but still the principal of the thing!

~~~~~

Ignis

“Darling, are you feeling alright?” Ignis inquired.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

Ignis had noticed that instead of drinking your tea, you were instead cradling it with your hands, and constantly shaking out your hands as if they were cramping up. “You simply aren’t enjoying your tea, are your hands bothering you?”

“Oh, it’s just a little flare, and as you know I do love flair.” You giggled batting your eyes to the man.

“Would you like for me to massage them?”

“That is not necessary, all I need is to enjoy a cup of…oh and you’re taking off your gloves.” You cooed, as he moved to you taking your hand within his own. “Iggy this is nessac…oh my.”

Ignis chuckled his hands working through the tenseness in your hand as you purred and mewled softly. “Darling, perhaps we should look into those injections.”

“Mm…but how…oh gods…how would I get you too…” You couldn’t finish your sentence as the man pressed just right, and was now slowly moving up your arm. “Sir, if you continue this, I can not promise what comes from my mouth next will be rather ladylike.”

“I will be fine with that, so long as we do one thing first.” He replied, leaning forward to press his lips against your neck.

“Anything.” You moaned, only to stare in confusion as Ignis sat back pulling out his cell phone. “Ignis what are you doing?”

“Scheduling you for cortisone injections.” He replied.

You could do nothing but pout as he begun to speak to the clinic, “Freakin tease.”

He had the nerve to even wink at you!

~~~~~

Cor

It wasn’t often that Cor was home to share a bed with you, and you were rather excited when the man had actually come home for once rather than crashing somewhere at the Citadel. For a while, you had thought the man didn’t need sleep, part of the whole ‘Immortal Package’ deal. Yet lying within his arms now was the most beautiful and painful thing in the world to you.

You attempted to shift again, but Gods, your shoulder was on fire.

“What are you doing?” Cor inquired out of the blue, which caused you to jump further aggravating the pain in your shoulders.

“Just getting comfier.” You lied quickly, only to stare at those ice blue eyes turned to you. “What, my arms going to sleep.”

“Is it your arthritis?” He asked.

“I’m not old Cor!” You hissed, an automatic response at this point. “I’m just, you know out of practice.”

“Out of practice?”

“Yes, we can’t all be in top physical form like some immortals.” You replied, moving from his arms, to flop over on your other side, back facing the man, which only made the pain flair more. “Calling a lady old is so rude, we can’t all look like we’re still in our late 20s while pushing 50 like some people.”

It took everything in Cor not to roll his eyes at you, he loved you more than anything, but when you got into one of your ‘I’m not old’ moods it made it really hard for the man to get a word in edgewise. Besides he knew that you were avoiding the fact that your arthritis was indeed acting up So without a second thought, the man moved from the bed going to the bathroom to get some nighttime pain relievers.

Returning to the bed to find you still curled up on your side of the bed, muttering away angrily that you weren’t in pain or old. Cor sighed as he reached out, ever softly poking you in the shoulder which immediately sent you tense and curling away from the man. He waited, for you to sheepishly turn over eyes cast down as you sat up.

“Here.” He offered, handing you the pain relievers and a glass of water, making certain that you took them, before moving back into bed, gathering you within his arms again.

“Thanks.” You finally offered.

Cor sighed, as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, getting a purr and nuzzle into his chest. Always the same reaction to when he showed you a little sweetness. Stubborn, beautiful, woman.

~~~~~

Lunafreya

Being a part of the Oracles entourage was the best thing you could have ever hoped for. Granted the entourage was yourself, Lunafreya, her two dogs and Gentiana, so three women and two dogs, it sounded like some strange sitcom, but was a beautiful place to be. Now if only you could open your eyes and actually greet the beauty that was Lunafreya who was laying beside you in your large shared bed.

“Are you feeling okay?” The woman’s voice called, as you felt a soft hand stroking your head.

“Oh, I’m just blinded by the most beautiful woman.” You cooed when you were mentally cursing that everything in the room was white or silver and made your migraine worse with all the light bouncing around. You felt her hand rest on your forehead closely followed by comforting sensation, “You cut that out!”  You called rolling over, knowing that when Lunafreya used her powers she was putting a tax on herself. “I’m just dying, it’s cool.”

You heard the woman pout, rather than saw, and knew she looked adorable, her arm across over her chest, lower lip sticking out and then you heard it.

“I just want to help.”

You quickly flopped back over, groping around, before you hand came into contact with her silk white night dress. Wrapping your arms around her waist, you pulled yourself into the woman’s lap, burying your face within her lap, enjoying the feeling of her warm skin underneath the white silk. “I know, I know, I didn’t mean to get snappy.”

Feeling her arms circle around you, “I just want to make you feel better.”

“As long as I’m with you, I already feel better.” You replied, nuzzling into her lap, flinching as her hand began to stroke your head.

“I’ll go get you some medication.”

“No…what am I supposed to with you gone?” You cried, as you felt her leave the bed.

“I’ll be back soon.”

You grunted clutching her pillow to your face, hearing her leave the room, requesting for some to bring you some headache medication. Then move back into the room, moving back into bed to cuddle with you.

“I’ll nurse you back to health the old fashion way.” She cooed pressing her lips to your own.

You finally opened your eyes to look to the woman cuddling you, “I demand 50 CCs of cuddles and kisses, please.”

Lucky your girlfriend was more than happy to oblige. 

[dani-fandom]

My in-time thoughts on VLD Season 4

*cracks knuckles* Alright kids buckle up, because this is about to be an entire dissertation on season 4.

So I’ve watched the season twice now, and though I originally really disliked it, I’ve softened up and wrote down all my thoughts as I was watching it the second time around, plus some general overall thoughts at the end.

It’s gonna be under a read more because trust me. It needs to be.

Episode 1: Code of Honor

My least favorite freaking episode

This episode makes me want to die

Kolivan to smaller blade: Do not engage

Me: okay so that’s Keith then

So, like, how much of their mission depended on that guard being asleep at the station

Because he would have noticed the hack if he was awake

Okay, but like, Keith’s right, you asshole

He had the intel

It’s too bad we never see Regris’ face but oh well

This is 100% a fake Shiro, he would never be so short to Keith

But, Keith does need to get his head out of his ass and work with Voltron

Keith: this is your dream, Shiro, not mine

Man I hate clone Shiro

I am 100% sure that he’s a clone

Even if he flies the Black lion

She’s a flip

It’s actually really cool how they’re putting on shows for the people

It should be taken seriously

“It won’t take long” then why did you just reach the Galra cruiser as the show started

*sings softly* I will go down with this ship (Regris’ theme song)

Keith shut the fuck up, you need a lecture

Do not interrupt Allura you bitch

I get it, Lotor is important, but you have a job

“The Mamora can go on without you, they have for thousands of years. Voltron cannot.”

I’m very salty about Kuron being able to fly the Black Lion

You are a fake ass bitch, Black Lion

jk, I love you

but seriously

“I knew this would happen eventually” okay but like, Kuron, you let Keith go on these missions

Like, it’s mostly your fault

My sister watching the Galra attack: I hope Keith learns his lesson

Me, internally: no he just continues to do whatever the hell he wants

My sister: This fake Shiro is better than Keith at this point

Me: oh worm?

“You keep saying you’re sorry but your actions speak otherwise” yes Allura drag him

The group shot is cute

But fuck it

Voltron fandom: hey can you like not hyperfocus on Keith and his plot in every single season

Voltron writers: ok lol *immediately boot Keith from the team and we never see him again until the end of the season*

Voltron fandom: confused.gif

Episode 2: Reunion

MY FAVORITE EPISODE

I LOVE PIDGE SO MUCH

MY ADORABLE DAUGHTER

I LOVE YOU SWEET SMART THING

Matt and Pidge are the best siblings ever

He brought her CAKE

I love Matt

I love Matt

I LOVE MATT

I live for Pidge beating that Uniloo trader

Such a badass

She just swoops in and takes out those Galra fighters in front of the freedom fighters

She’s so cool

Man those rebel ships really aren’t designed for maneuverability are they

I wish Tiosh didn’t die

She seemed cool

“You look so much like him, it’s the eyes.” And the entire rest of the face like they are basically carbon copies

Freaking family of nerds

The lighting is so soft in the flashbacks I love them

“The most powerful processor is right here and it can never be hacked” uhhh are you sure about that

Me: this episode is titled “Reunion” and we see them together, and I saw the leaked stuff

I KNOW HES ALIVE

I know we know that Matt isn’t dead but damn if I wasn’t about to bawl with Pidge

That whole scene? I was wrecked

I don’t want my daughter to cry

Looking at it now, assuming the markers are all rebel fighters, it might be safe to assume that the ones with the lights on are still alive, which is why some of them were on and some were not

I live, breathe, and die for the sibling fight

I LIVE BREATHE AND DIE FOR THEIR REUNION

AHHHHHHH

They never explain what the bounty is for

Like, damn, Matt what did you do to have a bounty on your head???

What kinda technology does the Garrison have that they can fix eyes???

The whole ending scene is adorable

Episode 3: Black Site

My SECOND FAVORITE EPISODE

At first I didn’t like Matt’s reaction to Allura but tbh same

He is a walking shitpost/meme and I love him

I live for the slow pan to Shiro’s face

The sibling tour is the coolest thing ever

Also, like, is Haggar never going to bring up the whole, “hey so we were married and you threw me into a rift to save me” thing to Zarkon?

Like, never?

Didn’t she, like, bring him back to life?

“Hey, this is pretty goo…d.” I love him

I live for Matt being a proud, supportive older brother

I feel so bad for Narti

She deserved better

Also, Kova is never talked about

The entire Kaltenecker scene is sent from God himself

Lotor is talking out of his ass so obviously

It is so cringe-y

I hate Haggar

Why did she have to hack into Narti???

Im so upset about this

“What are we, animals?” I LOVE MATT

Also he was complimenting Hunk

Thank you

Everything about the Kaltenecker scene is executed perfectly

Ezor is so beautiful

Like I cannot stop staring at her when she is on screen

I have no idea what Hunk, Matt, and Pidge are saying, but I love them

Nerd squad!!!

“We have to help” Allura if only you knew

If only you knew

I literally screamed when he killed Narti

Like, oh my god

Narti didn’t do anything wrong

IT WAS KOVA/HAGGAR

I HATE LOTOR

Zethrid and Ezor are so sad, I am so sad

I am so upset

Episode 4: The Voltron Show

Why does this episode exist

It did nothing for the plot

We already knew that they were doing the shows, we didn’t need to dedicate an entire episode to them

Also we didn’t need to dedicate an entire episode to humiliating the characters

I mean, seriously, Humorous Hunk who is clumsy and farts a lot?

Really?

We didn’t even get development surrounding Coran (besides seeing his awesome room)

His framed picture of Alfor??? I love it

It was just him with a weird brain bug

I almost screamed watching it crawl into his ear

I still have goosebumps

It was basically just a waste of 24 minutes

They could have done so much more with it

This could have even been episode 1, which would lead more into Keith leaving because he wouldn’t want to do the shows

Episode 5: Begin the Blitz

Ezor I love you

Also I just noticed how her head tail thing is wrapped up in her helmet

Adorable

Yeah, Acxa. Narti trusted Lotor and she got shanked

Okay, so we see that he and Zethrid are on the other ship, but then when the ship goes through???

What happens?

They say it fails, but shouldn’t they both be dead?

Shouldn’t they have been torn to shreds like the other rift? Or did they just go straight through, and not make it to the other reality?

Rolo and Nyma and Beezer!!

Im kinda glad they’re back tbh

HUNK’S BODY SLAM MOVE

I WILL NEVER GET OVER THIS SCENE

HE LOOKS SO BADASS

Also the Galra he body slams kinda looks like the “Operation Kuron” Galra, but I’m not 100% sure

Okay literally we never see any female Galra generals until this season and we see three with like ten minutes of each other

Im not complaining, but like, wow

“Roger, Ribbit” is…is that a Roger Rabbit pun

Well, bye then, roger ribbit

Nice knowin ya

I love those three Galra we see on the surface

The one that just hops away is my favorite

I mean, I know they’re probably dead but still

Why doesn’t Voltron always use Hunk’s laser cannon???

It works, it takes out multiple ships at once

But they like never use it

?????

“For Narti” get him, Acxa

I love my plotting alien ladies

I wish they would join up with Voltron

But no, instead we get Lotor at the end coming to them

Also, why would they put their captive in the ship with the major destructive lazer?

Like, this is Lotor we’re talking about

Why would you do that

THE ARM THING MADE ME WANT TO DIE

I HATE IT

IT IS SO DISGUSTING

Episode 6: A New Defender

I hate the description of this episode because I was so sure that they were going to have Keith save the day and I am so tired of him being The Most Important

I’m screaming over Lotor deciding to take a nap in deep space

Like man did you really not know those beacons existed?

The visuals of the star are stunning, honestly

Moral of this episode: when Lance says you should go, you go

They wouldn’t have been stuck if they had just jumped into action

But no, they had to stay and look

“Maybe we can get through this energy field” really, Kuron? Maybe? That’s real reassuring

I’m just not going to talk about how those lasers should have hit them as they jumped

They totally should have gotten hit

Are Galra sentries just the Voltron stormtroopers?

I straight up thought Allura was gonna die

I almost screamed

Also did she just never bring up that she discovered Haggar was Altean in the end of Season 2?

Like, really?

Lance’s speech makes me want to cry

I love him

I love him

He’s so supportive

He’s the one keeping them all together, I can’t get over it

I’m so happy that Allura is the one who saves them, but also that Lance is the one who gave her the pep talk

I feel so bad for Coran, I can’t imagine how helpless he must feel being told to just get away

I hate Keith’s self-sacrificial personality

I hate it

Hate it

Hate

 H

 A

 T

 E

“I HATE YOU MOM” Lotor, probably

I hate this end

I hate it

I don’t want another Zuko

I mean, I know he’s totally doing this for himself

But still

I hate it

I don’t want him to be Zuko

OVERALL GENERAL THOUGHTS: This season was okay. It wasn’t my favorite (they go in this order: 1,3,4,2) but I didn’t dislike it as much as I did season 2. I will say that if you remember that Season 3 and 4 were originally supposed to be one combined season, it makes zero sense. Perhaps they omitted an episode in the middle to make it seem like two separate seasons, but still. Suddenly Keith is the Black paladin, and then just as suddenly he’s leaving Voltron? They introduce Lotor and then have him separate from his generals and go to Voltron in the same season? Like, if you look at 3 and 4 as standalones, they operate better than they would have together. If it had been one big season, that would have been horrible writing and pacing. It’s better apart, but still.

But anyway, this season was aight. I loved “Reunion” and “Black Site” more than life itself, but I feel like episodes 1 and 4 could have been handled differently. If they really wanted to do the shows it should have been in episode one, where it is already mentioned that they do the air shows. This would further drive Keith from the team, because we all know he would probably rather die than do those scripted acts. But this way we’d kill two birds with one episode, and I wouldn’t have to spend 24 minutes cringing over the secondhand embarrassment in episode 4.

What they could have done with episode 4 instead if they had smushed 1 and 4 together:

Backstories for Lotor and the girls, or even just how they all met each other. We get a very vague sense of loyalty between them in season 3, but as soon as he guts Narti that all flies out the window with little explanation

Why was their bond so strong that the death of Narti would cause even Acxa (whose defining characteristic is that she’s the most loyal to Lotor) to turn against him?

What did they mean when they said that his plan failed “again?” What other plans have failed before?

Why was Lotor exiled?

Exploration of the whole Zarkon + Haggar = Lotor thing

Seriously, the timeline is all screwed up

It makes no sense for them to have had Lotor pre Zombie-fication, plus, Coran definitely would have mentioned that, and/or Allura would have known him prior with how close their parents were

And he refers to his mother as “Honnerva” like who told him that that was her name? Haggar didn’t even know that was her name until the end of last season so who was telling him that?

It’s obvious that Zarkon didn’t remember that Haggar is Honnerva, and for some reason she didn’t tell him when he woke up/when she brought him back to life again

Side note: I bet the reason he’s covered in armor now is that he actually looks like a wreck, like skin sliding off and all that gross shit

Everyone wants to talk about how horrible his childhood must have been and yadda yadda, but why not show us? For all we know, he could have been pampered to no end, or he could have that heartbreaking backstory that everyone wants him to have

Deeper look at the Operation Kuron

Also, fake Shiro never mentions his headaches in this season

But, like I was 1000% convinced that Shiro was with Matt and the rebels, so where is he actually?

Did the Black Lion send him back to Earth?

Closer look at the rebels/freedom fighters

Besides episode 2 we don’t really get a good look at them

Olia is never really introduced, she’s just suddenly there in the Voltron meetings

I didn’t even know that was her name until after I had watched the season twice

It’s hard to feel for characters that get killed when we don’t have a face to associate with them

Star Wars does this very well, in my opinion, making you care about characters/pilots right before they meet their untimely but ultimately predictable death

In regards to the last two episodes, I really really really hate that Lotor is now going to be seen as a “Prince Zuko” type character. You can tell by his voice and expressions in the end that he is in this totally for himself, but we know he is not above groveling and humbling himself to get what he wants. I would love to say that the Voltron Coalition is smarter than that to let Lotor join them, but I do not have that much faith. I already know that Keith is gonna be the first to be like “but he saved us! #NotAllGalra!” or whatever. Idc about that, what I do care about is the fact that he is a lying son of a bitch and I will not feel bad for him until I have a reason to, and we do not have a reason yet.

I feel like it would have made more sense for the girls to be the ones to intercept and save the day. They said they had one more option, but we never see it. I thought it was obvious that they were going to try to appease Voltron but??? I guess not?? Not knowing where they are going is less of a cliffhanger than if it was Lotor who disappeared into deep space, searching for another rift or something. It would have made more sense for Lotor to completely switch places with the girls from episode 5 to 6. Let them get chased by the Galra and have them stumble across the transmissions, realize that that is their chance to help and get on Voltron’s good side, and succeed. Let Lotor be like “I have one more option” and don’t tell us. That is a better cliffhanger (in my opinion) than having Lotor being all snarky in front of Voltron and the girls off who-knows-where.

As far as character development, to quickly sum, Lance went backwards/stayed where he was (I mean we see him care about Keith leaving in ep 1 but that’s it and he’s a flirt again until the very last episode), Pidge went forwards (I guess technically), Hunk went forwards a bit (wasn’t reduced to a food joke, and was actually badass and praised for his smarts more than once), Keith just seems to be regressing, Allura got development in the end I guess, and I don’t care about Kuron so we’re just gonna ignore him for now.

I didn’t really care about ship interaction one way or another, so I won’t comment on that stuff.

I just want to put this out there, I love all of the characters. I love Keith to bits and I just want him to be happy and feel loved. I really hated how they took him away from the team. I hated it! It just feeds into his idea of not being needed and I hate it! (Do I think he left even partly because of what Lance said last season, not really tbh) Like Kuron said himself he was fine with just helping in other ways. I don’t understand why that couldn’t have been the end of it (for a bit at least) and let the other paladins tell Keith how much they want him to stay and work it out with them. I don’t get it.

TLDR; This season was okay. I’m in the middle with it, I just wish episode 4 either hadn’t existed or was made into something else. And I don’t want Lotor to be another Prince Zuko.