#sorry but I only post to insta for my own sake and it's very obvious to any real person who looks at my account

[catparazzi]

honestly few things are funnier to me than when scam acccounts contact me on Instagram for fake collab and sponsorship things

I post there so rarely and my last nine posts look like this,

I have about 200 followers on there, and I barely use hashtags whenever I post, so I KNOW that no one legitimate would approach me to advertise jewelry lmao

[casualotptrash]

Why the Persona 3 FES vs Portable Debate Makes Me Want to Fly Into the Sun Pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Yes, this is an emotionally fueled rant about Persona 3. No, this is not meant to send hate at those who enjoy Persona 3 FES or dislike Persona 3 Portable.

That being said, this discussion mentally pains me. I won’t go into all of my opinions on the matter here (I’ll probably go into it later with more posts), but I will be talking about one of the most prevalent “points” that I see being brought up every time the comparison between FES and Portable is made:

“Just play FES with the controllable party members mod.”

This point, although it doesn’t say so directly, essentially sends the message to anyone who doesn’t know the differences between the two games that the only thing Portable has to offer (besides the obvious changes to the game) is controllable party members. For the sake of this post, I won’t be going into the obvious changes such as having cutscenes and The Answer in FES compared to no cutscenes and a FeMC route in Portable. Instead, I’m going to rant about every other positive change I can remember that no one seems to talk about.

1. Jealousy Mechanic

Unlike in FES, the jealousy mechanic is completely erased in the Male Route. The dialogue/warning will still show up after hanging out with multiple female social links, but the social link will never reverse or break because of this. Social links are already a pain to try and max out in a run, even on NG+ without a guide, so the fact that you don’t have to stop seeing a social link for awhile or focus on just one girl at a time means this will at least be marginally easier in Portable. For those who don’t care about maxing out all of the social links, it’s still a relief because you can hang out with whatever social link you want without any penalty. This doesn’t apply to the Female Route as there isn’t a jealousy mechanic even implemented into that.

2. Fatigue Mechanic

For the pure amount of people I see complain about Tartarus, and don’t get me wrong I’m one of them too, I cannot comprehend how they fail to mention this change. In Portable, the fatigue mechanic is totally gone. Much like the jealousy mechanic, the text is still there where the navigator will say you’re getting tired, but no one actually gets the tired effect until you leave Tartarus completely. This means you can bust out a whole block in one sitting, if you so choose. I found this extremely useful because I hated being in Tartarus and this allowed me to just get it all done quickly instead of having to go back and forth from the Dark Hour multiple times.

3. Various Battle Mechanics

In addition to adding the “direct” command to the tactics menu (allowing controllable party members), Portable also adds the “defend” option. This is akin to the “guard” option in the other games where you use your turn to gain more defense. The combat system has also been improved to function more like P4′s in the way that you can get a 1-more from knocking just one enemy down, it no longer takes a full turn for a party member to get up after being knocked down (so you can stand up and immediately do your turn), party members can follow up with a co-op attack if you knock an enemy down, and after a certain social link event for the team social link party members can take a fatal blow for the MC. Again, I don’t know how people are not talking about any of these changes besides the “direct command” addition while also complaining about how Tartarus is a slog. You know what makes it less like a slog? All of these additions.

4. Equipment Menu

Many of the changes not talked about are tweaks to Tartarus/battle gameplay, and this is another one of them. Although more of a small quality of life change to save some hassle, I personally appreciate any change that makes Tartarus easier to get through. In FES, if you wanted to change your party member’s equipment, you would have to talk to the party member who you wanted to change the equipment for. That means if you wanted to change your whole party you would have to do your own first and then talk to your three other party members individually. Portable changes this so that there is one overarching equipment menu that you can access (like in the future games) and change their equipment there.

5. Fusion skills being items + Personas giving you skill cards

This is probably one of the smaller changes, but it can still be really useful. First off, fusion skills in FES are activated when you have two specific personas needed for the skill, but in Portable fusion skills can be bought as items from a store. They cost “gems” that are collected in Tartarus and I think some can be acquired as rewards for quests. This can be useful if you want to use a fusion skill without needing to have the two specific personas taking up slots. Additionally, every persona now gives the player a skill card once they reach a certain level with them. Skill cards can also be bought for gems in the same store that fusion skill items can be bought from. With how fusion works in P3, in which skills are unable to be specifically selected to pass onto the persona being fused, having skills cards is a pretty good change.

6. More Tartarus events/anomalies

Sometimes when going into Tartarus, “anomalies” can occur. This ranges from entering a floor and having your whole party be separated or entering a floor and having no shadows present. Portable adds four new anomalies, and although they may not add much sometimes they can be pretty helpful. The four new events are experience gain will increase on the floor, enemy items drops will increase, the floor will become dark and the auto-mapping feature in game is temporarily disabled, and upon entering the floor it can be fully mapped by the navigator. I specifically found the increased experience gain to be useful because that really boosted the experience cards and could easily level you up without having to grind for hours.

7. Two more added difficulties + Vision Quest

With the new changes to combat, some people dislike how easy the game can seem. To counteract this, or for people who really just want to play the game for the story, two new difficulties were added to Portable: Beginner and Maniac. Beginner is below Easy and significantly toned down enemy damage, and the player has 30 plumes of dusk (opposed to 10 when starting on Easy). Maniac is above Hard, and it adds a heap of new things to make the game more difficult such as enemies deal 2 times more damage than normal, can gain a higher chance of Enemy Advantage when not taken by surprise, and certain weapon fusions cannot be performed. If this still isn’t hard enough for you...I’m sorry, or something? I personally played on Easy because I was working my way through the Neo-Persona (3-5) games and didn’t want it to take ten years.

If you still want more of a challenge, or a fun time-killer, Portable also added Vision Quest. Like the Monad Depths, it’s accessible through Tartarus. Upon entering there are is a door corresponding to each Full Moon boss (besides the Magician) and five special doors. Each Full Moon boss door can be fought with any party members, but the bosses are much stronger than when they were originally fought. For example, the Hanged Moon boss (last one fought) is level 54 in the base game. In the Vision Quest, the Hanged Moon boss is level 95. I did complete all of the doors in Vision Quest (on my NG+) and this one took me almost as long as the final boss of the game to beat, because of the level and the fact that is has 18,000 hp. Yes, I was around level 95 at the time too because I wanted to fuse Messiah. For reference, the final boss has around 25,500 hp in total and is level 76. The five special doors are more so puzzles rather than standard fights in my opinion because you’re forced into the fight with specific party members and stats. Each special door also has its own strategy to beat it, which is where the puzzle part comes in. An example of what these doors offer ranges from having three strong enemies you can only hit with physical attacks that consistently switch between nulling, being weak to, and absorbing all three kinds of physical attacks (and the three enemies switch at different rates/patterns) to fighting an enemy one on one that you need to kill in a certain amount of turns before they insta-kill you (and there is also a pattern of what these enemies are weak to/null/etc.) If you even try looking up what the Vision Quests are you’ll likely to see a plethora of guides because these fights can be very frustrating if you can’t get the patterns down on your own. However, that’s still good for a challenge. In addition to all of this, if you beat all of the doors you get the option to fight a second secret boss: Margaret (from Persona 4).

8. More part-time jobs

One of the more minor changes, but in Portable there are more places where you can work at for part-time jobs. I don’t know if it follows the same system as FES, but generally the longer you work at a job the more money they will give to you. This can be helpful in the early game if you want to raise a stat by working and gain money at the same time.

9. Soundtrack 

This one is tied in directly with the FeMC Route, but a whole new soundtrack is available in this game. You are able to hear almost the full Persona 3 FES soundtrack in this game with the Male Route too, so if you play both routes you won’t miss out on a majority of the songs. Personally, I like a lot of the songs from both soundtracks (and the P3 soundtrack is one of my favorites, if not maybe my number one favorite, of the 3-5 series). I believe it is also widely regarded as a solid soundtrack, and some even like it more than the Male Route one. You could just listen to the soundtrack without playing the game, but again this list is just going through changes from FES to Portable that people don’t often mention.

10. Extra scene at the end of a NG+ run (Spoilers for those who do not know the end of the game)

For everyone out there who likes the dating sim portion of Persona and a heaping of heart-breaking angst, this is for you. On a NG+ run of either route, in the final scene before the credits roll you are able to spend your last moments with whoever you romanced. They each have their own personalized little scene, that is beyond adorable and sad, and the game ends with one last loving comment/sentiment from them before you fade away and Memories of You starts playing. In my opinion, it’s a great little addition, especially for those who like to play multiple runs.

And that’s the last of it I suppose, although there are some other minor changes I probably missed because they’re too small or probably can’t be considered either a “good” or “bad” change. Anyway, asking others for their opinion on the two games is obviously fine, but if you’re someone who boils down the situation with providing the input “Just play FES with the controllable party members mod.” ....don’t. Please :)

[senseandaccountability]

The Stolen Throne in 15 minutes

I wrote this parody back in 2010 and it would be a shame if Livejournal dies with this mocking post, so have a re-post here on tumblr. I actually love Stolen Throne, but it’s not going to win a Nobel prize, that’s for damn sure.   REBEL QUEEN: *is slain *

MARIC, a Level 1 Prince: OH NOES! I can barely hold a sword and now I'm all alone on the run from the usurper! HELP! HELP!

LOGHAIN, a Level 56 Warrior, several miles away: I have a really bad feeling about this shit.

MARIC: HELP! HELP! *cracks the skull of random attacker * HELP! HELP!

LOGHAIN: Oh for fuck's sake. Come along, then.

LOGHAIN’S DAD: Like all good leaders of men in the DAO canon, I am somewhat reluctant to lead. Yet I do. I’m also quite classy if I may say so myself.

MARIC: Agreed! I dub thee, ser Loghain's Dad to a knight in my service. Now, go off and die protecting me!

LOGHAIN: What the hell?

LOGHAIN’S DAD: Son, in a very foreshadowing moment I will now ask you to put your emotions and personal desires aside and do as you must. Sure, it will seem really fucking grim but so will the rest of your life. Now off you go and protect the Prince with your life.

LOGHAIN’S DAD and EVERYONE IN CAMP: *dies protecting the Rebel Prince* --

MARIC: *suffers prettily*

LOGHAIN: I hate you so very much.

MARIC: Naaah. 　

ENEMIES: *Attack!*

MARIC: Oh noes! *falls off horse/gets stabbed/is unconscious*

LOGHAIN: Okay, I can’t really hate you. It’s like hating a puppy.

MARIC: Told ya!

WITCH OF THE WILDS: Come boys, come...give me your semen. I mean, let me babble inexplicably off-screen about secret visions of mine...

MARIC: Oh, sure!

PLOT: *thickens *

LOGHAIN and READERS: Whatever. 　 　

-- ROWAN: *dramatic entrance*

MARIC: Oh look, it’s my future Queen.

LOGHAIN: Oh look, she can actually hold her own in a fight! WELCOME! Don't ever leave!

ROWAN: I'm the Warrior Maiden of this story. But don't worry, fangirls, I won't stand in the way of slash, plot or have much of a personality. I rejoice in seeing you alive, Maric. It would be pointless to rebel without a prince after all. And you’re cute when you fall off horses.

MARIC: Did you say something? I can’t seem to focus on non-elven women. 

LOGHAIN: Oh, Maker, warrior women are so sexy. I like my women like I like my coffee,with a spoon in them hot and strong.

ROWAN: Sorry, did you say something? I can’t seem to focus on commoners.

ROMANTIC DRAMA: *is obvious * -- 　　

ORLESIANS: *are Evil and Depraved even in their own POV-chapters*

LOGHAIN: See, this is what I keep saying! --

MARIC: *is endlessly fascinated with Loghain*

LOGHAIN: *teaches Maric how to use a sword*

MARIC: You make me a man!

LOGHAIN: You make me speak in semi-long sentences and open up my glum heart!

MARIC: I fanboy you so hard, there is nothing you cannot do! Here, have a pair of too tight leather trousers, for eh, plot purposes.

LOGHAIN: Who the fuck am I again? Fandom Draco?

MARIC: What? I don't sexualize you! Perish the thought!

ROWAN: I think I'm going to go for a walk. You two... hang out.

DAO FANDOM: Oh, look I wrote this multi-chaptered fic about how Alistair falls in love with my PC R'heaigh-Leihy-inneh Cousland, who is incredibly pretty! And then this long-ass sequel about their lives after the game, isn't that just so clever and romantic? It even has some NSFW bits!

SLASHERS IN EVERY OTHER FANDOM, EVER: OH COME ON! 　

-- ROWAN & LOGHAIN: *builds a small mountain of unresolved and badly written sexual tension*

KATRIEL: Hello. I am the Plot Device of this little story.

MARIC: OH MY GOD, AN ELF! *fans self *

KATRIEL: Indeed.

MARIC: Look, guys, there was an elf in my tent! She’s very pretty!

ROWAN: Yes, yes. Sooo, Loghain, maybe we should... duel. Just a little? Get the blood pumping, the adrenaline rushing… Nothing sexual about it, just to determine who’s the best…fighter?

LOGHAIN: I thought you’d never ask.

ROWAN & LOGHAIN: *fights*

LOGHAIN: *wins* I’m so sorry I hurt you! *angsts* And so incredibly turned on by the fact that you almost beat me.

ROWAN: I know, right. Now, let’s forget about the part where we are clearly perfect for each other because I am Maric’s.

LOGHAIN: Yes, duty first.

MARIC: *shags the elf* 　　

-- MARIC: *shags the elf*

ROWAN: *angsts*

LOGHAIN: *angsts*

ROWAN: I am so stupid and ugly and not an elf.

LOGHAIN: *mutters* I think you are beautiful.

ROWAN: No! Our UST must remain heavy on the U-part! For plot purposes!

LOGHAIN: He’s too stupid to breathe and yet I am the lesser man. Oh, this will define my character in many interesting ways, I’m sure! *storms off *

MARIC: Hey, where are you going?

LOGHAIN: I’m done now. You made it through the woods and it’s been eh,years

MARIC: But how can I make it one day without you? I've been taking self-preservation lessons from Bella Swan! I need a big, strong, dominant man to heal me sexually save me!

ROWAN: For true. I can't bloody take care of his emotional neediness all alone, please stay!

LOGHAIN: *angsts*

ROWAN: *angsts*

MARIC: *emo puppy*

LOGHAIN: Fine, I'll stay.

MARIC: I love you. Here, have a fancy title.

LOGHAIN: *kneels awkwardly* I love you, too. I swear to serve you well.

MARIC, ROWAN, LILITH & DAVID GAIDER: OH ♥LOGHAIN♥! -- 　 　

BATTLES: *a plenty *

MARIC: *is dumb*

ORLESIANS: *are evil and well-informed*

ROWAN: Loghain, we must – surprise, surprise – save Maric from a certain death! Someone who I'm sure my future king doesn't sleep with has told the enemies of our plans and we are overwhelmed and Maric will die!

LOGHAIN: I am a bit busy here, being the Commander and all. If we leave them they will die.

ROWAN: Surely you have realised by now that you are the one who will make all the harsh decisions that others can't bear and end up in a turmoil of politics you don’t master and internal fighting you care nothing for? I sure as hell don't want to make this decision, it's awful and I'm one of the Pure and Good Characters. Now, please tell me you will sacrifice my dad!

LOGHAIN: Oh, this will define my character in many interesting ways, I’m sure. 

MARIC: *emo puppy* I don't deserve to be saved. If this was a fanfic I'd be crying myself to sleep, listening to music that isn't invented yet.

LOGHAIN: There, there. One of my hidden talents is that I comfort very well.

LILITH: Awww.

MARIC: I second that awww.

ROWAN: Oh, me too! Me too! Now do me! I mean, in a non-sexy friendly kind of way.

LOGHAIN: Of course. Duty first.

MARIC: *shags the elf * 　　 　 --

DEEP ROADS: *are cool*

KATRIEL: *knows a lot*

MARIC: *is not suspicious at all *

ROWAN & LOGHAIN: *headdesk*　

MARIC: Oh, and I love the not-at-all-suspicious elf, by the way.

ROWAN: Bastard.

LOGHAIN: What the hell? I've angsted over your future queen for well over hundred pages of Gaider-prose and you don't even love her. I will kill you in your sleep.

MARIC: *puppy eyes *

LOGHAIN: Fuck you. 　 --

ROWAN: *angsts*

LOGHAIN: Did I eh…mention that I comfort very well? Cause I do.

ROWAN: Comfort me! With hot, brooding sex! With gingerly sexings accompanied by our mutual tears, because we do cry an awful lot, all three of us.

LOGHAIN: I'm not the object of our mutual desire Maric.

ROWAN: Can you pretend? And glad I am to hear it!

LOGHAIN: Only if you do, too. Really?

ROWAN: Damn straight. Eh. Pun intended. Really, really.

DEEP ROADS: We bring the sexytimes like nothing else in the DAO canon! 　 -- 　

MARIC: Oh noes! Betrayal! It hurts! I love her so! She is so completely without a personality save being pretty and shady and into me! My dream girl!

LOGHAIN: Much like the PC can choose to do in the game version of our future, I am now picking the option to harden you. Everyone’s out for themselves. There you go. Harden up, bitch.

MARIC: But I’m such a gentle flower! Girls dig that.

LOGHAIN: Yes, indeed. I dig that, too, and this breaks my fucking heart. But life’s a bitch and then your mother gets raped and killed by Orlesians while you are forced to watch and you must give up the woman you love for duty and Ferelden and FOR FUCK’S SAKE, MAN, JUST GROW A SPINE SO WE CAN GET THIS SHIT DONE!

MARIC: *grows an insta-spine*

KATRIEL: Oh, crap.

MARIC: This moment defines me. *stabs her to death*

LOGHAIN: This moment defines me. *turns off emotions *

KATRIEL: I think I was informed of this plot because I wrote a really obvious good-bye letter, but whatever. I still die prettily and redeem myself in doing so while also making Loghain look extra cruel. A little something for everyone! 　

ROWAN: We are, as always, the harsh pragmatists of this story. Or well, you are a harsh pragmatist while I may or may not act out of jealousy which really doesn't put me in a better light. Regardless, my heartless yet loving soulmate, why must it hurt so?

LOGHAIN: Because life’s a bitch and then-

ROWAN: Shut up!

LOGHAIN: *dark, brooding emo puppy*

ROWAN: You are the only one who can be allowed to see me weak. Which is quite touching.

LOGHAIN: It is. I see you as my equal, which also is hot and something that ought to be more present in fanfiction. Alas, for now I shall break up with you!

ROWAN: Look, the hardening quest is fun for like, five minutes, but for the rest of my life? COME ON! Why do I get to be Maric's consolation prize?

LOGHAIN: Well, life’s a bitch and-

ROWAN: DAMN YOU.

LOGHAIN: I AM DAMNING MYSELF AS WE SPEAK! JUST BLOODY PLAY ORIGINS AND YOU WILL SEE!

DRAMATIC BREAK-UP: *is dramatic*

ROWAN: *cries*

LOGHAIN: *cries*

MARIC, in a different room: *cries*

ORLESIANS: And these people will overthrow our brutal occupation? I think not. --

MARIC: I NEED A HUG!

ROWAN: I will hug you. I will also assume the role of your loving, forgiving and much-stronger queen. Such is my duty.

MARIC: Sexy.

ROWAN: Not particularly. Sexy just broke up with me.

MARIC: I killed sexy. I NEED A HUG!

ROWAN: This will get old very quickly. --

MARIC: I am hardened. It sucks. I suddenly have a spine, and I do things to further our goal.

LOGAIN: I am as surprised as the readers. And a bit guiltily conflicted about it but that's just going to be my personality from now on. So roll with it.

ROWAN: I am stuck with the elf-fetishist for the rest of my life, but hey, why mind me? I never had much of a personality to begin with and won't get a fanbase anyway.

PLOT: *is wearing a bit thin* Come on, get this book over with! --

LOGHAIN: I am very sexy as I lead my rebels in battle.

ROWAN: He is. The bastard.

MARIC: He surely is. And – wait for it - I seem to have found a few survival skills!

LOGHAIN & ROWAN: Praise the Maker! --

WAR:* is won in the epilogue*

ROWAN: *is dead in the epilogue *

LOGHAIN: *is miserable in the epilogue *

MARIC: *is a miserable king in the epilogue*

READERS: Wow, what a fun ride that was.