#sorry I've been in a HORRIBLE mood yesterday and today I might need to kill some people in DS2 to feel better

[katyspersonal]

I suppose I can't help but revel in the privilege of not having to worry about my reputation or mental health because they're already ruined, nor I am wishing to accept the absurd terms required to restore them anyway

Like, always being in contact with people who want to say something against something but are too scared of backlash or anon harassment, and knowing that I could just take the weight of (completely justified) anger off their shoulders, because for ME hatred and attempts to hurt me are just arrows shot into a fire....? It feels helpful to turn being a cringefail looser that will never go anywhere into something useful, even if just for a few people!

At the same time, maybe there are periods where I am getting too heated? Like, just because I can say something without hurtful consequences doesn't mean I should? I don't understand whether I am too negative or barely negative, at least. I am not being negative on daily basis unlike some people :p, but when I am it goes HARD.

I am also kind of a.. coward for an "angry dog", I suppose. When I bark at something bigger than me, I can step away, like not responding to response for a TERF that I barked at or something. Because these require infinitely more research to tackle than analysis of a dumb videogame. Nothing like how I am with fandomry discourses or scolding a customer for being an AI bro or talking about ableism or whatever. I both wish this trait that I have finally grew stronger and allowed me to become a wolf and not just a dog, so I could say things against progressively more and more and more serious types of unfairness. With the same vigor, same intelligence, same.. frequency. At the same time, it all looks like those who do eventually just all go insane. They all just lose sight of their targets and either start to attack innocent, go rabid at even a suspicion of a threat or eat their own or all these things at once. So maybe being just a stupid angry dog is a blessing in its own way.