#sorry 4 the spam. idk when i'll be done.

[hoshingi]

HOSHI & SEUNGKWAN ✯ 240330 Beautiful

[127day-dream]

ALSO ALSO (im sorry for spamming ur timeline) (this is long)

WHY DO ALL MY TITLES HAVE TO BE SO LONG TYING HEARTBREAKER + BABY DON'T LIKE IT EVERY TIME I TALK ABOUT MY FICS IS SO LONG

but consistency... they're track 4 + 5 on limitless... and the story (of the song) really makes sense considering the story's (of my story) themes...

can u tell i overthink a lot? hahaha

but its fun... plus, i really overthought h+bdli (i hate that abbreviation!) even tho it was a short smut fic... honestly, i might rewrite h+bdli (still dont like that) because i feel like the message was kind of... lackluster.

idk, i feel like i wrote yuta a bit too... lightly. i wanted him to be a total piece of shit but it came a bit too cute bc haha smuttt

actually, yuta and i have the same mbti personality type. and actually, i asked someone on tumblr what nct member im most like and they said yuta... isnt that funny?

can u tell im procrastinating writing? by writing here? haha

i feel so sad about h+bdli, bc the smut was really good but besides that i didn't really like the story BUT I DO BUT I DONT yk what i mean? all the characters seemed so flat... i overhyped it in my head. honestly, that's it... i think just a lot of people asked questions about the story this time and... wasn't ready haha

i like my characters to be like, actual humans making human decisions, not like just hentai "for the sex" characters (do not look at be there for you, i was in heat) and thats why i do too much...

actually, even with be there for you, jaemin had a bit of a mental breakdown when deciding if he was actually gonna have sex with the reader, which imo, makes it great lol no doctor would actually risk losing their medical license..

i think that writing more dynamic characters is more fun. hwth is my baby. it's annoying, has too many characters, is gonna kill me, and its my precious little baby because i HATE some of the characters (cough, cough, jeno) but they're like, real people making real decisions (except haechan's sex scene, that was purely for the sex lol)

anyways... i wish when i started writing nct smut i wrote oneshots, hwth is gonna kill me... I DONT WANNA WRITE IT TO BE HONEST BUT IM MAKING MYSELF WRITE BC I LIKE WRITING BUT ITS SUCH A BIG PROJECT I WISH I DID HEARTBREAKER 1ST LOL

well.................. im gonna work on hwth.

maybe................. i'll actually work on a taeyong fic i've been working on for a while..............

UGH im sorry.

highway to heaven?

taeyong?

idk.

hahaha.... my back hurts.

ah....

I NEED TO WORK ON HWTH.

IM GONNA GET IT DONE

im on part 4?

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

my cat is sitting on my keyboard. too lazy to delete.

5?

idk......

oh... my cursor is moving.

kitty, please leave.

i think she likes the warmth of the desk. i have a fuzzy blanket on it. she's sleeping on my mousepad... i tried getting her to sleep on a heating pad, but i think she likes the computer...

should i get her a computer? do i sound insane?

she deserves it. she deserves the world.

im not having any kids of my own, after all. she's my only family.

shes perfect. oh... i guess i really do sound like a mom....

it's okay.

actually, i never said this before, but i started writing smut to make my typing skills better... i always get made of for my typing...

isn't that funny? i could've just done a typing.com lesson...

but i like writing about sex and nct.

haha... well, for the record, it didn't work.

maybe i'll still do the typing.com lesson.

agh... my back really hurts.

i'm gonna sleep.

sorry, you'll have to wait for hwth pt... 4 or 5.

[ochaka-archive]

this will be long, sorry

I gotta address this in case my mutuals or followers see the "callout" against me, which was literally just a rant saying how "we hate u omg ur so stupid and poopy >:c" made public for some reason? it was personal drama and if they didn't @ me I would have never even seen it. I won't be naming anybody cuz I don't care about them, I just want my mutuals to know what this is about.

1. quick background

this is regarding my ex friends. I had a conversation with one of them about a month ago that escalated into us ending our friendship. it would appear that they have been struggling to get rid of me for months now because they thought I was annoying and obsessive. If you know me, you know I have adhd and other issues. I'm paranoid and very insecure abt things. this is all true and I am fully aware that I had moments where I was either weird or maybe too obsessed with something, but that's rlly just something I can't help. I get fixated on things. If they told me that certain things I said or did were really upsetting I would have done my best to stop talking about it, because I cared about these people a lot. Everything they had issue with could have been resolved if they just told me outright what was bothering them. We could have dealt with this months ago.

I repeat. I am fully aware that I made mistakes. However, I couldn't have done anything about them because I wasn't told outright that I was upsetting anyone for a long time.

2. Response to the "callout"

Why make such a personal issue public. What good did you get from making a post abt me that literally had no reason being public for random people to see that don't get half of the story, and put reasons that were just insults, insults that completely disregard the fact I'm paranoid and have severe RSD. literally why did u do that? Saying you hated me since April is honestly so gross because I knew something was wrong but when I would ask about I'd get responses like "oh it's fine!". I was lied to for months.

3. clearing up some accusations

I didn't send any asks to any of these people since I blocked them a month ago. I haven't looked at any of their blogs since I blocked them a month ago. I literally didn't do anything to them for a month. all I did was make 1 vague post and my friend said "ugh I hope he dies". How did they see this vague post if they weren't stalking my blog. And I honestly don't care what my friend said cuz what u guys r doing is way worse lol.

also I've been accused of being fatphobic by someone for saying their bf can get better taste. I said that cuz they joke kin gerard way who has a puke fetish oh my god. also this was said in private dms that were leaked in the server AFTER I had blocked all of them. if they're allowed to make a "callout", I can vague and talk abt this in dms.

4. wtf is wrong with you ppl

I received this ask about two days after the conversation with my ex friend

I don't know who sent it. it might not be them but if they're going to accuse me of sending asks I'll do the same. The wording is funny cuz the "no one cares about you at all" is very fitting seeing as they turned a lot of my friends against me lol

about a week ago I received this ask

again, idk if they sent it or not, but I really don't know who the "them" could be other than these people. It was sent the same day I got banned from the server we were all in (I didn't talk in it for a month)

(the date isn't accurate cuz it was sent a week ago and the person is hidden) which further proves that the ask and these people are connected.

if I'm so obsessive WHY are you stalking my blog and harassing me.

5. stop harassing my friends and myself

stop @ing me begging me to block you, stop spamming my friends asks when they had nothing to do with this. stop making weird sideblogs and following my friends. stop accusing them of shit they didn't do.

images of two asks my friend got for no reason, because they assumed they showed me their conversations in the server I mentioned earlier. they didn't. they were just in the server and they never talked.

I did receive screenshots of these conversations by another friend, and it's literally just shit blown out of proportion, calling me names and shittalking. that's it. I don't care if they're doing that, they can say whatever they want in private. but to make a PUBLIC post calling me obsessive is SO IRONIC. WHY are you stalking my blog if I'm so obsessive??

if you need any further clarification you can DM me! School is starting for me so please understand if I take time to respond

[park-loins]

I'm gonna go reread all your fanfics starting with Jammed. I'll report back later ✌ - the anon with too much time on their hands

I CAN’T BELIEVE U REALLY DID THAT wow drink some water stay hydrated buddy~

Asks 2-23 from ur adventure below the cut, and i think tumblr ate some but that does not shock me. 

2) Goddamn it Loins, I didn't even get the E.L James reference until I reread the first quarter of Jammed, goddamn it I didn't even know who E.L James was until now and I'm completely shook this is why I reread things ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (2/?)

o yeah Kim Taehyung’s novel absolutely KILLED the ‘bored with my marriage wine moms’ demographic

3) 😏😏😏✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (3/?)

4) "author, sex god, part-time bee keeper" is my new Tinder description✌-The Anon with too much time on their hands

SHIT THAT’S SO GOOD THOUGH, i’d swipe right, hard right.

5) Yoooo, I can't believe that Jammed was your first BTS fanfiction, Loins. It was so good, and it was better the second time around! Okay, on to Reprise. I can't wait to weep at fuck'o'clock in the AM like the first time ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (5/?)

Ahhh thank u man! U know what I get really insecure about Jammed sometimes and I want to go back and change it, but it is what it is. And it got me publishing again! Which was the important thing. It felt so good to publish. 

6) Yoooo the notes on the first chapter of Reprise thooo. Damn, first time noticing that ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (6/?)

Oh me being a creepy child? Yeah I walked around the house calling “mommy, MOMMY” and mom was like ‘what’ and i was like ‘no, my REAL mommy,’ the proceeded to describe the death of my former family! i, for one, am surprised and grateful she did not ditch me on a deserted mountaintop. 

7) And people say smut can't be soft...but also...😏😏😏 ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (8/?)

aww u know what... i’m gonna have to write some soft stuff in the future... i haven’t gone super soft n sweet since then and i think i should. 

8) Yep, I'm getting emotions now. Thanks Loins, I needed those back. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (10/?)

9) Okay but, my shuffle starting playing 'How to Save A Life' by The Fray the MINUTE I got to reading the last Scene in Reprise™, and I'm feeling quite attacked, tbh ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (11/?)

oommgmgmgmgmgmgmmggmg

10) Is it too soon to bring up the "Oh look, I've been impaled" meme? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (12/?)

YES IT CERTAINLY actually no u know what go for it, impaling is such a specific means of death u gotta take the shot when u have it. 

11) Okay, that's Reprise done. I've successfully got through it without crying this time, cause my family's asleep. Time to get into Inc. Don't worry since Inc. is really long, I won't bother you as much. I think you kinda hate me right now, spamming your already full inbox ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (13/?)

I WAS REALLY ENJOYING GETTING THESE THO as i was like getting ready for work then throughout the day, it was so nice ilu 

12) I will, and forever always believe, that Inc. is, and forever will be, one of THE most quotable fanfictions of our generation. Thank you and good day ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (14/?)

OKAY that means a lot, my family is SO big on quoting movies like that’s our sense of humor. In fact my sister has quoted inc. to me and then been like... hey what’s that from - cuz sometime we have so may references that we literally cant remember the origin- and i was like..... inc.

13) Me: *Reads the story of Murderers birth* Me "Wow, you could make a religion out of this" ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (15/?)

vmin at least made a HOLIDAY of it, that you can believe. 

14) Yoongi: "The only plant that's ever had the misfortune of being mine died long before it ever had a chance to tell it's tale of woe" Me: Wow, that sounds like somebody else I know...*looks into the camera like on the Office* ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (16/?)

....ok SURE fine whatever inc. yoongi is 87% me

15) Maybe Hazelnut will be our always? ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (17/?)

akdjlkjglkjhl

16) "I was very drunk, the photos where on Jimin's phone-..." Wait, wHaT!? See y'all, this👏is👏why👏re👏reading👏is👏 important 👏, I didn't even notice that the first time I read Inc., fucking hell. ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (18/?)

o yeah o yeah i was planting those vmin seeds for YEARs

17) "Jin steps gingerly over Namjoon, who is face down on the floor, moaning miserably into an abandoned microphone" This scene is the main reason I wish that could draw good fanart ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (19/?)

i almost think that bad fanart of this scene would be better

18) You know how there's a shirt floating around that has the entire script to the Bee Movie on the back? I want that, but instead of the Bee Movie, I just want the entire Inc. fanfiction. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (20/?)

 as long as “assplay” the 17 times i use it is in a slightly bigger font than EVERything else

19) Wow. A lot of shit went down in 2012. And we getting to the angsty, metaphorical shit, cause what else are you gonna get from a Minverse™ fanfiction? ✌ - The Anon with too much time on their hands (22/?) 

i think i used 2012 as a reference year for crazy shit in paint too and i’m thinking about my 2012 and i’m like o yep. that’s why

20) Ah yes, the time when Loins decided to write a Christmas chapter in the dead of summertime. I ain't judging, anything for the story's sake ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands 

CHRISTMAS is not a time of YEAR but a feeling in your HEArT, and also a great plot device

21) The first appearance Leash!Tae in Loins' ao3 fanfics. Honestly, what an amazing experience to read this again. I'm honored. ✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (23/?)      

leash!tae was a lifechanging event in my real life and i’m just i’m so glad to insert it into my writing at any and every chance.

22) How dare you write some emotional-ass smut. Also I'm gonna stop sending these in after 30 so that I don't get your inbox so full 😗😙 I'm sure it's probably more than that cause I'm bad at tracking numbers, and I hope I got Anon on all of em.✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands (26/30) 

‘nasty but emotional.’ MY new tinder bio

23) Can I just tell you something Loins? I'm a bit tipsy now, so don't judge, but you are so genuinely talented, it's sickening. Like, you talk about how your not that good at writing, but you could probably out write half of the people that's been on the NY Times Best Seller List. And you have such a good personality to top it off. I gotta stop sending asks now, sorry to end so suddenly, just know that I really appreciate what you're doing. 💓💓✌- The Anon with too much time on their hands

aw my dude... ur gonna make me emo but the good kind the just too many good and grateful emotions kind of emo.... that really means a lot man, idk if i’ll ever pursue writing outside of a fic context, but it make me feel SO nice to think even for a second that i could. anyway!! thank u for making my day, this was such a nice little distraction on an otherwise dull and shit day, and thank u for being so sweet n supportive n i really appreciate you!!!!