#song inspo: I don't wanna be by Gavin Degraw

[schnoogles]

@jonsadrabbles Day 4 Hidden / True

“I don’t want to be anything Other than what I’ve been trying to be lately All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind I’m tired of looking around rooms wondering what I gotta do Or who I’m supposed to be I don’t want to be anything other than me” Canon divergence: R+L=J is revealed before the BotB

“Jon? What are you doing down here? Feast’s up there, surely the King in the North should be celebrating with his people.” Sansa stopped by Jon’s side and looked up at the statue. “She was said to have been so beautiful, the She-Wolf of Winterfell. And Lyanna Stark was as fierce as she was lovely. Reminds me of Arya, really.”

“Don’t.”

“Jon-”

“You know, I’ve always wanted the Stark name. Coveted it. I knew I could never have it though. That’s why I went to the Watch in the first place, I wanted to find a place. Make a name for myself. Turns out my name is a curse. A joke! That’s what I am: I’m a Targaryen curse, Sansa. Why else would Ned Stark lie to the whole realm? Keep me hidden in plain sight? I’m no Stark. Ned Stark was not my father. He went to war against my father. Seven Hells, I’m the reason the realm went to war.”

“Jon stop it. You are not the cause of the Rebellion. Rhaegar Targaryen seduced my Aunt Lyanna, your mother, into running away. A 15 year old girl caught up in the pretty words and empty promises of a crown prince? The Mad King murdering our grandfather and uncle? Those are reasons the realm went to war. Not a babe being born.” Sansa, facing Jon now, tugged on his arms so he was facing her back. “The lords don’t care and neither do I. I don’t give a damn who your father is, you are Jon Snow. That’s who you are. And you don’t have to hide that.”

Touched by her words, Jon stared longingly at Sansa in the candlelight glow. It reminded him of their fight in the tent on the eve of the battle, her hair seemingly blending in with the light, “Still not a Stark. You should’ve been named Queen, Sansa. You know it, I know it, gods even the lords know it. They just didn’t want to ‘insult me’ as the commander of the battle.”

“Seven save me, Jon you are an idiot. Of course the lords think I’m going to be queen.” Despite her words, Sansa was smiling indulgently at him. Which confused Jon even more. “Jon, if you want the name Stark so badly just take mine. You already have my heart.”