#son chaeyoung angst

[ghostykapi]

i know you don't wanna leave [stay here after hours]

son chaeyoung & fem!reader // tw: an attempt of s.a., drinking, arguments, like one slap and that’s it

surprise! i’m alive? here have a fic

it starts with an acquaintance. it always does.

not this time, this time it starts with one of your best friends, myoui mina

when mina says she wants you to meet her members after so long, you freeze and start panicking in your discord voice call. despite the long time knowing each other, twice has yet to meet one of mina's close friends, a fellow introvert that bumped into each other one too many times that it was inevitable to start a bond.

"it's going to fine y/n" you can still hear mina's voice in your head, her hands holding yours as you both walk up to a secluded restaurant "they are going to love you"

despite the reassurances, you couldn't shake off the anxiety off you, nervous to make the best first impression of you.

despite your worries, the girls immediately take a liking to you. a romantic liking to you, as you would recall half of them already fighting to get your attention

“so y/n” you can still remember jihyo asking you, a small glint present in her eye “are you single?”

ever the protective person your best friend was, the immediate response of “she’s off limits” shoots any questions down. all possible suitors immediately follow mina’s words

almost all possible suitors

son chaeyoung doesn’t follow it

after all, she’s the one who sat beside you, slipping her number well within your palm with a smile after dinner and exchanging jokes. the same number that you chat with a simple hello, and the same number that continuously texts you every morning, afternoon, and night

chaeyoung is even so bold to causally chat you even if she sits right beside mina during practice. she doesn’t get caught at all. not even by the prying eyes of her members, her ever carefree attitude when texting you not raising any suspicion

it goes on for weeks, until an opportunity for her to go on a date with you pops up. so she asks you until you find yourself going to weekly dates with her, sneaking in surprise deliveries to one another, calling more often than texting, clothes sneakily being left on each other’s apartment

she’s been sweet. the way she’s been kissing you? tastes like strawberries. the way she holds your hand on dates? warm and fuzzy. the way she looks at you? like you’re her forever muse

it’s just that the way she holds you everytime, with her arms around you as you settle on the couch, she holds you like you’re about to disappear into air.

it’s not the case

it’s her who has to walk out the door and leave every night. despite her saying the words ‘i love you’, you aren’t even her girlfriend. you aren’t even fully together. not when she’s still in that ‘break’ with her (ex?) boyfriend. you only found out about it after your 7th date with her

if only you knew sooner, maybe you could have stopped yourself from falling for her. maybe you don’t have to let the tears fall again. even when she tries to get up you always grasp her hands, begging with your eyes into her conflicted ones (it happens every time)

"stay" you whisper, she tries to hard to avoid looking at you (it kind of drives you insane) "please stay"

she doesn't stay, but she kisses you. kisses you like she won’t break your heart just a bit again, like she doesn’t pull away and whispers you that she does have to go.

and so you’re left alone. again. left alone to cry.

she comes back though. every morning shift in that hole in the wall cafe you have she shows up, ready to clock in late even if jihyo is about to drag her to practice. even when you have to stay up late, she calls you up, asking if you can buzz her in even at 3 am, even when you have to finish that commission.

she’s relentless with her pursuit for you, but she’s unforgiving for having to pull away when you’re falling deeper and deeper into her spell.

well that’s how you got here.

at a club, definitely somewhere obscure that lets in any person no matter who they are or what they even represent. it doesn’t matter, the lighting is dark, it’s crowded, the music is to loud and the alcohol is swimming around the room.

you don’t even know how much you consumed, everything is starting to spin already. the environment proving to you that this is just a place that you don’t even wanna be in to begin with, and still it’s better because this is the last place where your brain can even think of chaeyoung.

all you can think about is the bodies that are grinding against you, the smell of booze invading your senses, the numerous eyes that look at you and your body on the dance floor, the lady that’s been dancing with you for a while now, her eyes drinking you in

you don’t even notice that she’s manage to lead you away from the dance floor, now in a corner, where you have no where to go. your blurry vision can barely understand the scene in front of you, so you try to go along with it, even if your heart begs for you to stop

before anything happens, you can see her being pulled away by a group of people, all screaming to why she’s targeting a clearly too drunk woman. you can barely make out the group until someone catches you before you stumble, the familiar sent of the perfume instantly calming you down

“let’s get you home yeah?”

it’s motherfucking son chaeyoung. the person who just shoved a person away from kissing you and the one person you were trying to get over.

you can see another figure approaching you, and you can tell it’s your best friend. her worried eyes scanning you from head to toe before releasing a sigh and helping chaeyoung to bring you to the car

the ride was quiet, the only sound the entire ride is the radio playing music. the haziness of it call made it feel short to you, but as soon as you set foot in your apartment and sat down on your couch, you can slightly see things better.

“call me when you’re ok” mina gives you a hug on the couch, her voice softly calming you down before you have to face chaeyoung “it’s ok, your safe now”

she stands up to leave, facing chaeyoung who’s probably no better than you

“you will explain everything to me” mina whispers to her “but make sure y/n is well taken care of tonight”

she hugs chaeyoung before she leaves, having to catch a late night visit to her girlfriend, tzuyu.

that leaves you though with the person you tried to avoid in the first place. you can barely reject her. no. you can’t even push her away and scream ‘leave me alone!’

but you try, you try anyway for the sake of it

“leave”

“excuse me?”

you try to stand up, and despite the absolute shit state you are in, you look at her with all the venom you can show.

“leave”

chaeyoung is flabbergasted, mostly worried, but is flabbergasted by the way you manage to turn around your feelings towards her. yesterday you both were just fine

“y/n” she’s cautious, threading on what to say “you’re drunk. let’s get you to bed”

“leave” despite the glare you’re sending her way, she’s coming closer to help you to bed. “you better leave”

“no stop saying i should leave” she’s trying to keep you calm, but that sentence ticks you off to shout

“YOU SHOULD LEAVE! YOU NEVER STAYED ANYWAY EVEN IF I BEGGED. YOU NEVER STAYED EVEN IF YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PURSUED ME. YOU NEVER STAYED EVEN JUST FOR A NIGHT. DID YOU EVEN CHOOSE ME? AM I NEVER ENOUGH? WHAT DOES HE HAVE OVER ME? WHAT DO I LACK FOR YOU TO LEAVE EVERYTIME FOR THE PAST FUCKING 8 MONTHS?”

a step closer to you to reach out and you’re body does the first thing a rage filled body can do

a loud smack can be heard across the apartment

it’s silent now, the shock and realization hits chaeyoung as she looks at you. you who had smiled at her like she was the sun, you who had kissed every single one of her tattoos to cheer her up, you who had danced in the rain to the music of a faint distant piano, you who had no hesitation of choosing her again and again and again even when you had every right to break things off

endlessly, with devotion and loyalty

you who had always welcome her back even if you knew she always returned to him

“i-i” you’re speechless, your hand suddenly feeling like it doesn’t belong to you “c-chaeyoung i—”

you can can feel the words clog in your throat. the air starting to feel like it’s not enough. you can feel her slipping away

no, she kneels right in front of you. her hands holding yours and her eyes shining with nothing but love, guilt and shame.

“i’m sorry” chaeyoung kisses your hand, despite the slap you just delivered a minute ago “i’ve been nothing but a meanie haven’t i?”

you break, everything crashing down.

“i’m so sorry” she wipes away your tears, heart taking all of the guilt she had tried to run from, as she sees you like this. her mind finally realizing full extent of the pain she has inflicted on the both of you “my love i’m so sorry”

you sob, sob until she’s holding you close, rubbing circles on your back like she always does to calm you down, her apologies and words of affirmation spilling out of her like she’s rapping to one of her songs.

it takes you a while to calm down, and when you do you can barely move. it takes you another couple of minutes for her to move you to bed at least. changing you into your sleeping clothes (the shirt is her’s, she feels her heart pull at that), cleaning up your face and tucking you into bed

“get some sleep my love” chaeyoung whispers, her finger brushing out any hair that’s fallen on your face “i’ll fix this i promise”

your eyes focus on her’s. eyes that are red as yours from crying. you wonder why she still looks so pretty even if she just broke you

“will you stay?” it’s the last thing you say, and the warm kiss on your cheek is the last thing you feel before you fully surrender to slumber.

in the morning, you manage to wake up with a throbbing head. the headache hurts, everything seems to be too bright or too loud. you can’t even figure out who’s body is spooning you from behind, hands gently playing and combing through your hair

wait

body?

“morning my love”

[nr1chaedickrider]

i got so many thoughts please someone hold me back...

popular student chaeyoung who has people running behind her asking her out on dates and everything while she is only interested in you..

only girl she has her eyes on is you!! will ignore everyone if thats what you want her to do!!

will fuck you in the school bathroom 100% dont even get me started, loves the thrill of it!!

"baby you're so loud do you want them to hear?"

will tease you all the time of how down bad you are for her fingers (especially when she plays guitar)

but also lwk toxic situationship with her omg... (ill maybe write a fic to it)

gets so mad over you and that one girl in your arts class, making you wait for her in the classroom..

and trust she will lock that door when everyone is out, got the key from the teacher because "she is such a good, innocent student"

will definetly confront you

"what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

and especially,

"You're mine"

which will turn into an heated argument because she is fucking around with everyone???

ends in classroom sex anyway though..

[alcoholfreenayeon]

Don’t Call Me Again

Chaeyoung x Reader

CW: very light fluff, angst

Word count: 900

Synopsis: I regret from the very core of my heart for hurting you this bad, I am sorry.  

AN: Yes I know this is the wrong day for it😭but I feel it’s relevant right now and also because I need a bit more for the other one. I’ll post it tomorrow instead.

You watched as the car door opened and Chaeyoung got out, you couldn’t help but smile, her cute little jump to avoid the puddle, the way she smiled uncontrollably when she spotted you, everything about her was so cute, so perfect. She walked up to you still smiling sheepishly, looking at you for a moment before quickly grabbing you and embracing you in a tight hug. At this point, admittedly you were beginning to feel a bit emotional, but you managed to fight those emotions off, for now at least.

Still holding on to you, she pulled her head back and looked at you, still smiling happily, “It’s been so long”, she said before slumping her head against your shoulder, her tone changing to a more serious one. That stung a little, you knew it had been, usually her tours make you miss her a lot, but you never really considered that she might miss you just as much if not more. After all, she does become quite loving and needy when she’s stressed. Nevertheless, you both finally pull back and Chaeyoung slips her hands into yours and that’s something you can never get tired of.

The two of you walked a little, going towards the spot where you both kissed for the first time. As you both approached it, you began to brace yourself to tell Chaeyoung but before you could, she suddenly let go of your hand and turned. She was walking backwards, unable to stop smiling at you, her cheeks rosy. You were about to tell it her when she suddenly spoke, “Oh! Pretty!”, she exclaimed, plucking a flower off the ground, smelling it, and smiling at you. She then takes a step closer and tiptoes, tucking it behind your ear and kissing your cheek and smiling lovingly at you, her hand lingering on the spot she kissed. She is making this so much more difficult than it needs to be. Is this a mistake? How were you going to tell her that you wanted to break up…

“Chaeyoung…”, you said quietly, beginning to feel tears build up in your eyes, “This is-this isn’t going to work.”

“Huh”, She said, confused by your suddenness, “What are you talking about?”

Why, why is she making you repeat, you already felt like a monster for doing this to her. She didn’t deserve it, she doesn’t deserve this. But you just can’t keep going on like this, having her go off to the other side of the world for months. You know it’s selfish, you know it’s stupid, but you just can’t keep doing this. You want her all the time and it’s clear you won’t get that from her anytime soon. So its best that you end it now before you lose your nerve, before she makes you change your mind, before she makes promises you she wont be able to keep.

“I think we should break up.”, you said in a shaky voice as you felt tears beginning to fall. You didn’t deserve to shed tears, not after what you are doing. “We-we don’t spend enough time together, we can’t go out half the time or places, it’s just too much. I can’t handle it all. I’m done”, you say the last part more harshly than you intended. “I-I am sorry, but I can’t, I love you, I really do but I think it’s better for us”, you blurt out, regretting each word but you had come too far to back out now.

Chaeyoung looked back at you confused, panicked, hurt, betrayed, she tried to reach out for your hand, but you step back, hating yourself more than ever. She didn’t say anything, but you could hear her breath heavily in panic, she looked like she wanted to say so many things to you right now but couldn’t find the words. You see tears building up in her eyes and it’s too much for you. You turn around and speed off, not looking back once because you are a monster, because you are cowardly, because you are weak. You know if you look back, you’ll cry, you’ll beg her to forgive you, to take you back. And Chaeyoung will. She will take you back without any hesitation, she will cry her heart out, she will ask you what she did wrong, what she can do to change, what she can do to stop you from feeling this way. And the truth is nothing. Because she doesn’t need to change. She was, is perfect. It’s you who’s full of fault, full of insecurities, full of weakness. As you sit in your car, you begin to sob, looking at your phone, at your and Chaeyoung’s messages, knowing you need to block her before she texts you. But it’s too late, before you can gather her strength to do that, you receive a text from her, ‘Please don’t go.’. And you close your eyes in pain, what have you done, you hate yourself, you look at the block button and feel your heart pound knowing its now or never, you take a deep breath and make your choice…  

[multiphandomunnies]

Twice reactions

crush confessing

bf is an actor

bf is a cop

bf is a tattoo artist

*T* bf used to self harm

bf is a doctor

bf is a wizard

s.o is a scientist

bf is a bartender

bf is a nerd

bf surprises them with dinner

bf plays for the european clubs

how twice would kiss

bf is a horror author

their tough bf is crying

bf exercising

s.o has a dream about losing them

s.o works late

bf feels insecure

coming how to their gf asleep in her books

s.o makes something special

how would twice wake you up

showering with you *J line *

how twice would comfort you

bf in public

bf watches anime

haunted house au

receiving a gift from their crush

high school au

youtuber au

sana’s bday

haunted house au part 2

angel/demon au

s.o drinks a lot of coffee

spending the day with s.o

seeing you reading a smut fic of them (*M*)

s.o has autism

s.o throwing them over their shoulder

s.o has a tattoo of their name

s.o sees them in a bathing suit

bf visits them at a fansign

gf wants a lot of kids

being embarrassed

gf has really bad period cramps

gf being cheesy in front of the members

haunted house au part 3

twice sleepover

idol gf faints

gf has a scar

seeing their gf naked

s.o is a leo

s.o fainting after a roller coaster ride

s.o is a sagittarius

s.o punches a stranger

another member likes gf

s.o being smaller

falling for a foreigner

s.o send inappropriate photo

you using a strap on(*M*)

s.o playing an instrument

partner moves in

gf has low self esteem

finds out crush is trans

twice as little sisters

gf is a terrible dancer

have wet dream about their s.o

not wearing panties (*M*)

finding out gf is related to got7

little sister is debuting as an idol

gf compliments another member a lot

s.o says i love you for the first time

s.o is in cosplay

watching a horror film with s.o

haunted house au part 4

s.o has abs

gf cuts her hair short

hurting their s.o and regretting it

seeing their s.o working extremely hard

as types of yandere

s.o is the leader of a secret organization

gf is an idol producer

they think their bf is cheating on them

[twice-inamillion]

Character List (Twice)

IM Nayeon

In a girlfriend / boyfriend relationship with OC.

Had a crush on OC during trainee days of 3mix (nayeon, Jeongyeon, jihyo)

Overprotective of her members.

Wants to have a nice and meaningful relationship with OC.

Wondered what it would of been if OC might of fallen for Nayeon and not Jihyo.

Likes kids, wants them too.

Had sex for the first time at her parent’s house.

Now understands why the rest of the members enjoy having sex with him.

Yoo Jeongyeon

Loves her members like family and is the confidant of the group.

Overprotective of the members.

Had negative feelings towards OC when they first met.

Still virgin

Doesn’t know what makes the other members fall for OC.

Does like that OC is a good father to the kids.

Has tasted OC’s cum.

Has walked in on members having sex with OC

Had watched Momo getting fucked on video call

Getting corrupted little by little

Has pictures of OC’s cock

Hirai Momo

Loves to eat and enjoys eating OC’s food.

Constantly asks OC to make food for her.

Is very proud of her body and dancing.

Is scared of Jihyo’s mom mode.

Likes to joke around with chaeyoung.

Airhead some times around others but can get serious when alone.

Likes to show off her body around the house.

Tried to breastfeed Jisoo once as a joke.

Got her virginity take away by OC in the shower

Enjoys rough sex

Has had sex with OC while on video with Jeongyeon

Minatozaki Sana

The only extrovert from the group.

Enjoys to flirt and tease with the members.

Really likes kids, wants kids of her own.

Likes how OC is a good father.

Took her own virginity with OC’s cock

Enjoys having sex.

Is the mysterious woman in the series.

Willing to blackmail OC to get pregnant.

Very emotional when it comes to getting pregnant.

Emotional attachment to Ari, acts like mother figure.

Impregnation kink and deepthroating.

Got her parents approved to be bred

Was pregnant with OC’s child but had a miscarriage.

Park Jihyo

OC’s main girl and wife

Met OC during her trainee days.

Had a crush on OC and got into a relationship with OC sometime after that.

Jihyo and OC gave their virginity to each other.

Loves all her members and all the kids.

Thinks of twice as her family and willing to put their needs first sometimes.

Willing to share OC if they members develop feels for him.

Dominant during sex but can also be sub.

Got pregnant and had baby girl (Jisoo).

Had anal only once.

Breastfeeding kink.

Has been having non stop sex since proposed to.

More sexually active

Myoui Mina

The most introvert member from the group.

OC’s third fiancé

Had a double personality (Mina/Sharon)

Sharon personality would come out during sex.

First time was with OC.

Got pregnant with triples.

Had complications during pregnancy and lost one but had two twin girls.

Twin girls (Ari and Hina)

Had a meltdown that caused her to go back to japan for months.

Reunited with twins after months apart

Trying to focus her attention to the twins.

Starting to feel comfortable having sex with OC after Sharon incident.

May want to have more sex

Kim Dahyun

OC’s second fiancé 

Enjoys being with the members.

Got very curious about sex after Jihyo and Mina got pregnant.

Had first time with OC in front of members.

Teased OC multiple times and ended up pregnant.

Parents disowned her (dad) when they found out of her pregnancy.

Doesn’t like talking about parents anymore, touchy subject.

Can get easily jealous.

Enjoys having pregnancy sex.

Likes to spend time with Daeun

Focused more on Daeun than having fun with OC

Likes to cuddle.

Son Chaeyoung

Enjoys teasing and joking around with the members.

Sexual attracted to OC.

Virginity taken by OC.

Enjoys having fun and sex.

Only partner has been with OC.

Become OC’s cocksleeve and became hooked on OC.

Likes when OC fucks her rough and degrades her.

Does not want to get pregnant at the moment.

On birth control since she wanted to have raw sex.

Likes the feeling of cum inside of her.

Kinks: Anal, bondage, humiliation, and size kink

In trouble with Jihyo because she told Somi about babies

Is able to have sex after being on punishment by Jihyo.

Chou Tzuyu

Most innocent and curious member from the group.

Enjoys spending time with members and OC.

Sees OC as “oppa.”

No sexual penetrative experience.

Chaeyoung and Sana tell her about sexual activities with OC.

Got curious after hearing it from Chaeyoung.

Wants to learn about sex.

Asks OC to be her teacher and teach her about sex.

Looks forward to her lessons

Wants to have her virginity taken by OC

Willing to explore.

Looking forward to next comeback

OC - Y/n

Currently manger and producer of twice

Produced the song “Fancy”

Father of Jisoo, Ari, Hina and Daeun

In love with Jihyo (wife), mina, and dahyun.

Overprotective of his kids

Sexual relationship with Momo, Sana and Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung is his cock sleeve

Like to have rough sex with chaeyoung when stressed

Dominant with most girls during sex, likes raw sex

Enjoys spending time with family

Enjoys cooking and good at it.

Has a hobby of photography, camping, cooking

Enjoys to drive whenever there is free time.

Breastfeeding, anal, belly bulging kink

Likes a nice butt

Starting to have a deflowering kink

Has messed around with Somi once

Wants to corrupt Jeongyeon

Minor Characters

Samatha - Owner of Bathhouse

Friend of OC from college

Has a girlfriend

Masan - Childhood Friend of Sana

Owner of the lingerie store

Somi- friends with Chaeyoung

Chaeyoung likes messing around with Somi

Chaeyoung told her about twins

Afraid of Jihyo

Became unofficial babysitter of the babies

Gave head to OC

Minji- real estate for OC

[the-goldenbunny-diaries]

Fractured Bonds

⚢ Pairing - Chaeyoung x Reader

✎ Word Count - 2.6k

☆ Genre - Angst

▲ TW! - Mentions of thoughts of cutting (nothing too bad, no blood or anything)

♡ Description - When the mental breaks the physical bonds between you and Chaeyoung (A/N: this is partly based on a true story so please go easy on me if its a bit all over the place)

★・・・・・・★

You first met Chaeyoung on a warm summer day, completely by chance. You were attending a local art exhibition, wandering through the vibrant displays of creativity, when your paths crossed. There she was, standing in front of a mesmerizing painting, her eyes captivated by the artist's brushstrokes. You couldn't help but be drawn to her genuine curiosity and passion for art. Seizing the opportunity, you struck up a conversation, discussing the artwork and your shared love for creativity. She was captivating, with a smile that could light up the darkest room and a personality that made everyone feel at ease. 

From that moment on, it was as if the universe had conspired to bring you together. You both spent hours talking, laughing, and getting to know each other and as the sun set on that unforgettable day, you knew that this encounter was the start of something truly magical. Little did you know that your meeting would mark the beginning of a profound connection that would forever change your lives.

Your relationship with Chaeyoung blossomed, and you shared everything with each other, from your dreams and aspirations to your fears and struggles. However, as time went on, you began to notice that you were grappling with your mental health. Anxiety and depression started to take a toll on you, and simple tasks became increasingly difficult.

As you struggled with your mental health, the weight on your shoulders felt unbearable. Each day became a battle, as anxiety and depression seemed to conspire against your peace of mind. Simple tasks like getting out of bed, preparing a meal, or even answering a phone call became daunting challenges. It was as if a heavy fog had settled over your life, clouding your thoughts and emotions.

In the beginning, you tried to keep your struggles hidden from Chaeyoung, fearing that revealing your vulnerability would push her away. But as our bond grew stronger, it became harder to conceal the storm raging inside you. Trying to keep your mental health struggles a secret, you often battled your inner turmoil in silence.

One night, as the weight of your emotions became unbearable, you sought refuge in the bathroom, hoping to hide your pain from the world. You found yourself clutching a blade, contemplating an unhealthy way to cope with the overwhelming feelings inside. However, fate had different plans that night. Just as you tried to wrestle with your inner demons alone, Chaeyoung sensed that something was wrong. Her intuition led her to follow you to the bathroom, and with concern in her voice, she gently knocked on the door. "Are you okay in there?" she asked, her worry reaching you through the wooden barrier. Caught off guard and unable to hide any longer, you unlocked the bathroom door, revealing your vulnerable state, Chaeyoung's eyes widened with concern. 

"Hey, what's going on? Why are you holding that?" she asked, her voice shaky as she gestured towards the blade in your hand.

Tears continued to flow, and you struggled to find the right words. "I... I've been feeling so overwhelmed, Chaeyoung. I didn't want you to see me like this," you admitted, feeling a mix of relief and fear at her presence.

Chaeyoung stepped closer, gently taking the blade from your hand and setting it aside. "It's okay," she said softly, wrapping her arms around you. "You don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what you're going through."

"But it's so hard, Chaeyoung. I feel like I'm drowning in my own thoughts," you confessed, burying your face in her shoulder.

She held you tighter, her voice soothing. "I can't pretend to know exactly how you feel, but I want to understand. You can talk to me about what you're going through. We'll face this together."

Her words struck a chord deep within you, and you finally let yourself open up about the struggles you had been keeping hidden. You spoke about the weight of anxiety that often crippled you, the overwhelming sadness that seemed to have no end and the fear that you were burdening her with your problems.

Chaeyoung listened attentively, wiping away your tears with a gentle touch. "You're not burdening me," she said firmly. "I care about you deeply, and I want to support you through the good and the bad. We're a team, remember?"

A mixture of emotions washed over you, feeling both vulnerable and grateful for her understanding. "I just don't want you to think less of me because of all this," you whispered, afraid of being judged.

Chaeyoung pulled back slightly, looking directly into your eyes. "I don't think less of you, not at all," she said earnestly. "Your struggles don't define you. I see a strong, caring, and resilient person who I love deeply."

In that moment, you felt a sense of relief wash over you, knowing that you didn't have to hide your pain anymore. Chaeyoung's unwavering support made you realize that you were not alone in your battle with mental health, and that together, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead. From that point on, the bond between you and Chaeyoung grew even stronger, built on a foundation of trust, empathy, and love.

★・・・・・・★

However, as time went on and your mental health struggles persisted, you noticed a shift in Chaeyoung's behavior. She started to express frustration when you couldn't simply "snap out of it" or "think positively." It seemed as though she couldn't grasp the overwhelming nature of mental health challenges and expected me to overcome them effortlessly.

Her lack of understanding made you feel isolated and judged. You began to question whether you were a burden, and self-doubt crept into your mind, exacerbating your emotional turmoil. Whenever you needed reassurance or validation, you hesitated to reach out to her, fearing another dismissive response. 

The strain in your relationship intensified, as the person you had turned to for comfort was now the source of additional stress. you longed for her to see the pain you were experiencing and to offer a compassionate ear, but instead, you felt invalidated and unsupported.

Your communication deteriorated as you struggled to explain the complexities of your mental health while she grew impatient with your emotional struggles. you found myself internalizing your pain, withdrawing further into myself to avoid confrontation and rejection.

As days and weeks went by, the constant backlash from Chaeyoung caused tensions to rise between the two of you. The breaking point came during a particularly vulnerable moment when you reached out to Chaeyoung for solace. It was a day when you were feeling particularly vulnerable and needed her support more than ever. You had planned to attend a social gathering, but as the event approached, anxiety began to consume you. Doubts and insecurities plagued your mind, and you found it difficult to shake off the feeling of impending judgment and rejection.

Hesitant to burden Chaeyoung with your worries, you tried to put on a brave face and attended the gathering with her by your side. However, as the evening progressed, you couldn't help but withdraw into yourself, feeling overwhelmed by the crowd and the incessant noise. You clung to Chaeyoung, seeking comfort and reassurance, but she seemed preoccupied and distant, leaving you feeling even more isolated in the midst of the crowd.

As the social gathering progressed and you began to feel overwhelmed, you found a quiet corner away from the crowd and motioned for Chaeyoung to join you. "Hey, Chaeyoung, can we talk for a moment?" you asked, your voice tinged with vulnerability.

Chaeyoung followed you to the corner, but her attention seemed divided, making you hesitant to open up. "What's on your mind?" she asked, her gaze wandering to the rest of the gathering.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered the courage to share your feelings. "I'm feeling really anxious here, Chaeyoung. The noise and the crowd are making it hard for me to focus. I just need a bit of support right now," you admitted, hoping she would understand.

Chaeyoung glanced at you briefly before turning her attention back to the party. "Come on, it's not that bad. Just try to enjoy the moment," she replied, her words lacking the empathy you had hoped for.

Feeling dismissed, you pressed on, needing her to grasp the depth of your emotions. "It's not that simple for me. I'm trying, but it's tough," you said, your voice trembling with the weight of your feelings.

She let out a sigh, seeming impatient. "You're always so sensitive. Can't you just relax and have fun like everyone else?" she remarked, the disappointment evident in her tone.

Her response felt like a blow to your already fragile state of mind. "Chaeyoung, it's not about sensitivity. This is real for me, and I just need someone to understand," you pleaded, hoping she would offer the support you needed.

Her eyes flickered with irritation as she replied, "Fine, but can we talk about this later? I don't want it to ruin the evening."

Feeling hurt and dismissed, you withdrew further into yourself. The silence that followed only intensified the feelings of isolation, making you wonder if you could truly rely on her to be there for you during your most vulnerable moments.

As the night wore on, the tension between you and Chaeyoung continued to simmer, setting the stage for the argument that would later unfold, ultimately leading to the painful realization that your needs and expectations in the relationship were not being met.

The car ride back to their shared apartment was filled with a heavy silence that seemed to echo the unspoken tension between you and Chaeyoung. Both of you sat in the car, lost in your own thoughts, the distance between you palpable. The events of the evening and the hurtful exchange lingered in the air, and you couldn't find the words to break the silence. Each passing moment only reinforced the growing chasm that had formed between you, leaving you feeling more distant than ever. As the city lights blurred outside the window, the quiet car ride felt like a reflection of the growing emotional distance, a stark contrast to the connection you once shared.

Once you arrived back at the shared apartment, the tension from the quiet car ride seemed to reach its breaking point. Unable to bear the emotional weight any longer, you finally spoke up, voicing your hurt and frustration. "Chaeyoung, I needed your support tonight, and you seemed distant and dismissive. It hurts that you couldn't understand what I was going through," you began, your voice trembling with emotion. 

Chaeyoung, feeling defensive, responded with frustration, "I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. Can't you just handle your emotions on your own?" Her words struck a nerve, and before you knew it, the fight escalated into a heated exchange of grievances, with both of you struggling to bridge the gap in your perspectives. The once loving and understanding relationship now felt like a battleground of hurt feelings and misunderstandings, leading to the heartbreaking realization that the bond you once cherished was unraveling before your eyes.

As emotions reached a boiling point, the tension in the room was palpable. Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to express the pain you felt. "Chaeyoung, I just need you to understand that my mental health is a real challenge for me. It's not something I can control or just 'get over,'" you said, your voice trembling.

Chaeyoung sighed, her frustration evident in her tone. "I get that you're going through a tough time, but sometimes it feels like you're just being overly needy and dramatic. Can't you try to be more positive?"

Her words hit you like a punch to the gut. "Chaeyoung, I'm not choosing to feel this way. I wish I could be more positive too, but it's not that simple," you pleaded, hoping she would see the pain behind your eyes.

She looked away, seemingly disinterested in your struggles. "I just don't know if I can handle this anymore. It's like you're always bringing me down with your negativity," she said, her tone cold and distant.

Feeling the weight of her words, you tried to explain how her support was essential to you. "I don't expect you to have all the answers, but I need you to be there for me. To listen and be understanding," you implored, your heart aching for her to comprehend the gravity of your emotions.

Chaeyoung shook her head, a frustrated expression on her face. "I thought I could handle it, but it's draining. I need someone who can be strong for me, too," she replied, seemingly unwilling to grasp the significance of your mental health struggles.

Anger mingled with hurt inside you, and you couldn't hold back your tears any longer. "It's not about strength, Chaeyoung. Mental health isn't a weakness, and I'm doing my best to cope. But your lack of support is breaking me even more," you said, your voice quivering with emotion.

Her eyes softened, but the damage was already done. "I didn't mean to hurt you, but I can't pretend like this is easy for me either," she admitted, her voice tinged with guilt.

As the fight reached its climax, emotions were running high, and you could no longer bear the pain of the argument. "Chaeyoung, I can't do this anymore. You don't understand what I'm going through, and I can't keep pretending everything is okay. I need you to leave," you said, your voice firm but laden with sadness.

Chaeyoung's face displayed a mix of shock and regret, realizing the gravity of her actions. "I... I messed up, I know," she stammered, trying to reach out to you. "I'm sorry for not being there for you the way you needed me to be."

Despite her apology, you knew that it was time to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being. "I appreciate your apology, but right now, I need space to heal," you replied, your voice tinged with a mix of sorrow and determination.

Reluctantly, Chaeyoung nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. She slowly gathered her belongings and made her way to the door. "Please know that I still love you," she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

As she left the apartment, you were left alone, feeling a mix of sadness and relief. The weight of the fight hung in the air, and you slumped against the door, emotions overwhelming you. Surprisingly, you noticed the sound of soft sobs coming from the other side of the door – Chaeyoung was on the ground, too, leaning against it.

For a moment, you both sat there on opposite sides of the door, sharing the same physical space but feeling worlds apart emotionally. It was a poignant reminder of the bond you once had and the pain of its unraveling. As tears streamed down your face, you wished things could have been different, but you knew that taking care of yourself and your mental health was the priority.

In that vulnerable moment, you found strength in the realization that you were not alone in your pain. Despite the pain of the breakup, you knew that both of you were hurting in your own ways, trying to come to terms with the end of a once beautiful relationship.

With time and space, you hoped that healing would come – not just for yourself but also for Chaeyoung. The journey ahead was uncertain, but you knew that prioritizing your mental well-being and self-care was the first step toward finding peace and a new path forward.

[happilychaengs]

i'm not okay

son chaeyoung x gender neutral reader

angst and comfort? idk

your life was a downwards spiral.

some days, you were fine. some days you were content with it all. but then there's those days that started to stretched on forever. the days where you can't help but feel like you've failed in some way. it's the days that you feel like you're in a constant whirlpool, turning and sinking deeper into the abyss. it took everything out of you to keep your head above the water, your head only getting up to take quick gasps of air. it felt suffocating. you felt like you were drowning. it was hard to wake up. it was even harder to want to move.

the days pass you by, the abundance of missed calls and texts seeming to all blur together into one. it's a silent cry for help. you think maybe people would notice your absence. the way you'd act so abnormally but no one notices. they don't even bat an eye.

but she does.

there she stood at your door when the clock struck midnight, her hooded head glancing through the windows to make sure you were even here before profusely embarrassing herself. you hear three knocks on your door before her voice cries aloud, calling for you to come out of bed and let her in; you lay motionless in your bed. the strong currents of the whirlpool seem to crash on you again, a fervent coldness wrapping around your body.

through all the static and through all the noise, you hear the subtle sound of locks clicking open. a voice rings out to you, seemingly from the far far corners of the cold waters.

"i need you to promise me you're okay." her voice is firm, although you know she only wants what's best for you. "if not, i am staying here with you until you can promise me that."

and despite everything you've done: all the people you pushed away, all the horrible things you've said, she insisted on being there for you. she stuck with you. the words linger at the tip of your tongue to calm her worries and to push her away like the rest. 'i promise i'm okay.' and yet you know you're far from it. the words seem to never make it out of your throat, you beginning to choke on your emotions.

it's the feeling of the waters calming. it's the feeling of your lungs beginning to fill with air, that small sense of clarity seeming so foreign to you.

your vision becomes blurry, tears beginning to stain your cheeks as she frowns briskly before quickly wrapping her arms around you.

she drags you out of the darkness.

----

a/n: this is a teensy tiny little bitty personal to me as this is what i felt like in the past. this honestly has been marinating in my drafts for a while because i've been unsure whether to publish this but for chae bae, i might as well. it was originally supposed to be just up to your imagination who it was but it's the loml's day so ✋🙄

[tttwiceeluvrr]

i read this. i don’t even like michaeng bc i love mina (i’m delulu) but i ended up reading this. PROBS ONE OF THE BEST AND REALISTIC ONES THAT RELATED TO WHAT IVE BEEN THROUGH. all i have to say is i am NOT ok after reading it. i read the first few chapters, skipped to like a few middle chapters, then read the last 5 chapters til the end. i am sobbing and i don’t know what to do with myself.

[jhsbrokeslave]

Twice High School AU

Twice? In High school? Yup despite reading the same genre over and over again, in the name of Tdoong High, you will read this!

Chapters

• Introduction

• Partners in crime | 2yeon

Artwork by: tonidoodles for inspiration see more of TD's art

[gyupremacy]

Misc Masterlist

These are a list of my works outside of BTS and SVT. I likely won't update it that much considering I primarily write for them, but if an idea sparks or I'm doing a collab for another group or artist you enjoy, you can find them over here 🫶🏽

Smut [❃]

Fluff [ღ]

Angst [∞]

HCs [✎]

Moodboards [♧]

DISCLAIMER Do not copy, translate, or repost any of my works to any other platforms

↳ My Happy Place (Rosé) [ღ] - Having a picnic date with your girlfriend Rosé just to relax a bit and spend time with each other.

↳ Chaeyoung Secret Santa 2021 [♧]

↳ Kiss & Make Up (San) [❃] [ღ] [∞] - Your fiancé San hasn't been as active in the preparations for your upcoming wedding, and it's starting to get to you. Tensions rise after an argument about the subject.

© gyupremacy, 2022. All rights reserved. 

[sapphicizm]

Chapters: 1/? Fandom: TWICE (Band), K-pop Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Kim Dahyun/Son Chaeyoung Characters: Kim Dahyun, Son Chaeyoung Additional Tags: Mentioned Yoo Jeongyeon, Angst, Heavy Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort Summary:

There’s two lit candles on the table and she looks across at Dahyun who is looking right back at her and also has her cheeks stuffed with bread. She has the softest smile on her face and her eyes sparkle with the candlelight.

Chaeyoung thinks she might love her forever.

 or

Sometimes love doesn't conquer all.

[ghostykapi]

it's easy to fall (harder to leave)

pt. 2 of what if I (never) told you I had fallen // angst + happy ending bc once more I can't handle pain

hello, I lived from suffering from 2 weeks of cramming. enjoyyyy

"thank you for much for coming into this interview!" you couldn't help but feel the ball of anxiety slowly build up as the interviewer happily closes out the segment of the show.

feeling vulnerable underneath all the gazes of the cameras and the live audience wasn't a new feeling to you. after all you are the writer and producer of the group, the brains that help create the identity of your art. you had to learn how to battle the pressure, criticism and hardship your group had to go through everytime you had a comeback with the title track coming from (mostly) you

now that was out in the open, all you had to do was figure out if she understood what you said in that interview, if she ever bothered to watch it anyway.

the promotion period came and went, draining you both physically, mentally and emotionally. you had never felt more thankful for a break that lasted longer than usual.

on the first day of the said break, your group decided to have a brunch out before going your seperate ways. some decided that it would be best spent with their families, and some decided that they're going to spend it in their dorms, recharging their energies and hanging out more with other idol friends.

you also decided to do the second one, with the intention of finding more thrift shops across the city to get some clothes for the fall. so when the brunch rolled around, you had a notebook with you at the table to show to your group how you made your most recent song.

"you know" your maknae mumbled as she flips the pages on her left hand and eating her food on the right hand "I knew you liked her this much but not far enough to make a song that brought us 5 wins"

"no pain, no gain" you joked while playing with the ends of your sweater, a habit you do when you get nervous "but honestly I didn't expect that too. the liking her that deep kind of thing"

"whatever it's worth" your leader gives you a reassuring pat on the back "it's good that you're painfully aware of your feelings and doing your best to try to move on"

yeah. trying to move on is a hard ongoing experience for you. especially when you see son chaeyoung spam your phone that you'd deliberately leave in your dorm to avoid confrontation

yeah, definitely a hard experience on you

"thanks you guys" you give them a smile before they end up swishing you into a group hug with shouts (of love) in between

after the brunch, you found yourself waking along side the han river. taking in the scenery of the happy people around you with the change of a more chilly season.

finding your usual spot, you sit down, opened your notebook and started to scribble random drawings your mind thought of.

a pair of lips, a bouquet of flowers, a small tiger, two promise rings, a bunch of random strawberries-

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck.

you really need to figure out new things to draw and not anything associated to chaeyoung anymore

closing it shut, you decide it's the best idea to finally head back home and get some rest. you stand up and start walking back home. you barely take more than 10 steps when you feel your phone vibrate in your bag, indicating that there's a caller

not bothering to check the name of said caller, you answer your phone while continuing your walk

"hello, y/n speaking"

"stop walking and turn around"

you feel your heart stop as you quickly turned around, seeing chaeyoung standing right there with a phone against her ear.

by the heavens she still looks gorgeous as the day you lost her

"you should really stop avoiding me" she complains as she drops the call

"I wasn't avoiding, I was just busy with the comeback" you can't be in her presence right now, not when your heart is still hurting "and speaking of comeback, I just finished my promotion period, so I'm heading back home to get some rest"

you tried walking away from her to save your already broken heart, but she grabs your arm and tugs you back to her. the grip not leaving any negotiations to let you go

"y/f/n I swear to god" even though she's tiny, you swear that son chaeyoung angry is a scary thing "you will not avoid me again"

you avoid her gaze and only stared at the ground, feeling the sobs climbing out of your throat "you know why I do"

"no I don't"

"yes you do"

"no" you can hear the hurt and desperation in her voice "I don't"

you still refuse to look at her as the tears blur your vision

"yes." you feel the grip finally loosening up but the emotional pain leaving you to stay put to the ground "yes you do, it's true. it's all true"

you don't hear the laughter of the people anymore. you can't hear the swaying of the trees and the crunch of the leaves anymore. you only hear the sound of your heart taking in more cracks as you finally admit it to her

"y/n" chaeyoung brings you into a hug as you softly cry into her shoulder "y/n/n"

"I'm sorry" you gasp out as you feel each wall finally come crashing down "I didn't mean for it to happen. I didn't want to scare you away-I was so scared-"

"it's ok" she cuts you off, rubbing circles on your back to calm you down "you don't have to be sorry"

"I should be" you shake your head, remembering that he's still in her life "it's not fair for you and for him"

she feels her heart break at that, even if you had the chances to hate him and tell her to break up with him, you still choose to support it despite loving her

"you don't have to be with me unnie" you pull away to properly look at her despite the tears still going, to show that you're serious "it's ok. I'll be ok"

"no" she softly calls out and tries to stop your from leaving, but you were determined to go "no no no please don't go"

"unnie" you plead with her, gently prying her hands away from you depite the panic settling in her eyes "I'll be fine, just give me some time and I'll be back being your best friend"

this has to be it right? the good decision that brings your heart and her's at ease sooner or later

"for what it's worth" you smile with all the love that lets you "thank you for teaching me what is love, my muse"

that breaks her.

"don't go" she's more stubborn now, her eyes panicking as she tries to bring you in "please don't go away again"

"how will I move on if you won't let me go?" you gently push her away but she clings unto you with all the strength that she can have

"don't move on, just, please stay. don't go. don't leave. please don't. I can't handle you gone again" she cries out "I just got you back, please don't go"

"unnie" you try to reason with her but it's hard. not when you also tears come out of her eyes and you're quick to wipe them away

"don't go" she whispers, as if she's scared to scare you away "come back home to me please"

you can't say no to that, not when she still has your heart in that palm of the hand just like that.

"what about him?" you can't help but feel the guilt eat you up inside but chaeyoung is quick to shut it down

"broke up with him the moment I heard your interview" she explains "I couldn't be in a relationship with him when I know my heart couldn't move on from you. he understands too and I couldn't let you slip away from me"

"what do you mean" you feel your brain run through a million thoughts, the most prominent one being "couldn't move on?"

she doesn't say anything, only bringing you back to her dorm, to her room to show you the amounts of notebooks she ran through that was just full of drawings, pictures and words that were all of you.

you sit on her bed as you trace her drawings of you, each one accurate with your features. you can't help but feel tears come back

"don't cry" she kisses your tears away, bringing her hands to cradle your face "it hurts to see you cry"

"I can't help it" you look into her eyes and feel the overwhelming sense of relief and love "it's hard to believe something you're brain thought was impossible"

"it's not" chaeyoung reassures you, just as you always did for her "it's not hard to fall in love with you and it's not easy to move on from you too"

she kisses you that day, as you both mend your hearts over sharing stories of how you both fell in love with each other. each crack won't be healed that day but as the weeks, months rolled by and as you both go back to each other, you can feel it getting better

"my muse" you whisper one night as she sleeps in your arms, the moon giving her the softest glow "I'm home"

[multiphandomunnies]

Chaeyoung

annoying voice

strawberry milk

tied by fate

tied by fate part 2

what’re you up to?

tastes like strawberries

soulmate au

kissing chaeyoung

peak of the day

[earlysunshines]

but i’ll love you better, if you let me

son chaeyoung x fem!reader ; angst, smut

synopsis: “you told me your new man don’t make you nut, that’s a damn shame.”

wc: 7.4k

warnings: smut; thigh riding; jealousy ; cheating!! ; readers a meanie lowk; men mentioned ; smoking; cursing; alcohol; lalala whatever else i missed ; not proofread

a/n: happy late chae day!!! ALSO i don't condone cheating… HOWEVER.

chaeyoung watches you closely, a cigarette perched between your lips as a subtle smirk dances across your features in response to the news.

“boyfriend?” you scoff, almost as if it’s a joke to you. “right.”

furrowing her brows, she looks at you, almost offended.

“what’s with the tone?”

"nothing, nothing...," you mumble, your eyes drilling into hers with intensity. she shrinks under your gaze, just as she always does when you give her that look. you light the end of your cigarette, inhaling shallowly before exhaling a small cloud of smoke.

chaeyoung crosses her arms. “i’m serious.”

“yeah?” you say teasingly, smiling like she’s an idiot. “does this boyfriend have a name?”

“haesol.”

“right.”

she’s a little frustrated at the tone of your voice, plus the little look you give her. the way you pay no mind to this new information – your eyes squinting and the look of incredulity you give her – brushing it off as some stupid, laughable lie ticks a nerve in her.

you inhale deeper, then sigh out the smoke slowly.

“alright, new topic,” you suggest, handing her the cigarette, which she rejects by pushing your wrist away, to your surprise.

“why are you acting like this is some stupid joke? don’t you care?”

yes, you did care. the notion of chaeyoung being involved with a man earned a visceral reaction from you, a combination of disbelief, frustration, and disappointment. the idea honestly seemed preposterous, even laughable, but your reaction had no sign of amusement. if anything, it left a bitter taste in your mouth, worse than any cheap hangover remedy. 

“i do care.”

offering the cigarette to her again, you raise both brows expectantly as you urge her to take it. she reluctantly accepts it from in between your fingers, then holds it to her lips.

you continue, looking away from her now and towards the street, “i just don’t want some guy taking so much of your time, time we could be using to hang out. besides, i don’t know him, you never even mentioned the guy.”

as the anger subsides, chaeyoung's features soften, her expression shifting to one of understanding. in the gentle glow of the setting sun, she’s a little cuter when she looks at you like that, her usual appeal heightened by the softening light.

you glance at her and smirk before looking back at the ground, leaning against the wall of the building behind you. 

the two of you have developed a reputation for being nearly inseparable. whether it's in class or during free time, the two of you are almost always together. chaeyoung was in two of your classes, and not the tedious prerequisite classes offered, the ones that people willingly chose based on their interests: music theory and art history.

you noticed her from first glance, taking note of the pretty girl in your two classes. she was striking; tattoos littered her skin, her unconventional style, and sick piercings. yeah, definitely your type of person, she was bound to lure you. however, you didn’t chase, so instead of actively pursuing her, you opted for more subtle approaches. you'd steal glances in her direction, flash a smile whenever your eyes met, or create chance encounters like accidental bumps or brushed hands, all of which served as silent invitations for her to make the first move.

from the moment you shared your first cigarette in the streets at night – outside your now favorite bar as a way to escape the rest of your classmates – a strong connection formed. 

chaeyoung hands you the cigarette back; you inhale deeply again, letting the smoke fill your lungs.

“if he’s uglier than you i won’t accept it.” you mutter, knowing you won’t because there’s no one more striking than her. 

“people are more than just looks you know.”

“that only applies to women.”  you grin. “now, let’s go get dinner. i’m hungry.”

she rolls her eyes at you and playfully pushes your shoulder before swiping the cigarette from your fingers. you chuckle at her reaction, then tilt your head, silently urging her to walk with you to a nearby restaurant down the street.

-

you shouldn’t have gone out with san and wooyoung, especially not on a thursday night because now it’s friday morning and you can still feel the hangover.

you wait on a bench at the little park on campus, the ache in your head still present even after your first class, despite gulping down a bottle of water and two advil tablets prior to it. 

chaeyoung asked to meet there, talking about some “surprise” she had. 

after waiting five minutes you finally feel your phone buzz in your hand, seeing the notification pop up on the top of the screen.

[11:28pm]

chaeyoung: i’m here

chaeyoung: to your left

you turn your head, noticing your best friend walking alongside a taller man, their hands interlocked. your stomach churns at the sight – you almost throw up in your mouth. taking a deep breath, you rise from your seat and make your way over to them, meeting them in the middle of the sidewalk.

chaeyoung had told you about him two weeks ago, even mentioning him here and there but you didn’t think you’d actually meet him, not now.

he wears a small – clearly forced – half-smile, one that you have the urge to wipe off his face. his hair is a messy, platinum blonde, with roots starting to show. a loose-fitting black tee drapes over his frame, paired with dark, baggy jeans. he’s also taller than you, maybe two or three inches taller, but not crazy tall. he's not the worst-looking guy, but you can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment.

“people are than just looks you know,” her words repeat in your head – you try to consider them.

“haesol, this is y/n. she’s my closest friend.” she says, then looks at you with sparkles in her eyes. “y/n, this is haesol, my boyfriend.”

“boyfriend, right.” you respond, tone acidic.

“you’re the best friend?”

the best friend? yeah, you’re not really fond of the way he said that. but to be fair, your tone wasn’t as nice either.

“yeah.” you force a friendlier expression after glancing over at chaeyoung, smiling at haesol now. “it’s nice to meet you.”

“same here.” 

it’s undeniably awkward, with chaeyoung by his side and your unpreparedness to face – well, him. you can’t help but glance at their locked hands, immediately looking away after it had disgusted you enough.

chaeyoung clears her throat before saying, “um, y/n, i was just wondering if you would like to get lunch with us? the two of you can get to know each other.”

a little sigh leaves your lips because really, you don’t want to know him any more than you do. but lunch with chaeyoung is something you can never pass up, especially when she’s looking at you all hopeful and shooting a little pout.

“i’m down, yeah.”

“great.” she says, “perfect.”

you and haesol make eye contact again before chaeyoung pulls him away, expecting you to follow.

-

to keep it brief, lunch was alright. it was rather quiet, unlike your usual conversations with chaeyoung, which are filled with laughter and tend to be more lively. with him there, you felt somewhat out of place, finding his stupid looks at chaeyoung irritating and the constant touchiness made you lose most your appetite.

when haesol was distracted by his phone or momentarily left the conversation, you found it easier to simply talk to chaeyoung. however, as soon as he looked back at her, you would fall silent again. 

you found his demeanor too blunt and his tendency to boast about himself irritating. his lack of attention to chaeyoung while she was speaking, instead focusing on his phone, only added to your irritation, making you scrunch your brows and send judgy looks.

“y/n, why don’t you tell him about yourself?” chaeyoung says to break the random moment of silence as you all eat. 

you blink, swallowing the rice you had been eating. “oh, like what?”

haesol seemed more focused on the food in front of him, paying little attention to the conversation. chaeyoung, on the other hand, noticed the lack of information being shared about you, which confused her. to her, you were the most interesting person in the room.

“haesol, you know y/n is in a band?”

you ‘re quick to cut her off, “it’s just a gig, not that serious. just… extra money.” you widen your eyes at her, tightening your jaw to send a little message. 

“oh, that’s cool i guess.” he says, shrugging at you. 

“she plays guitar and sings–”

“it’s just a side thing.” you say sternly. 

haesol doesn’t notice the look you give chaeyoung, too unbothered by your presence as a whole. you give him a little look before crossing your arms.

“haesol,” you begin.

he finishes chewing and swallows before humming a “ hm?”

“what do you like about my best friend?”

he pauses, thinking to himself (you would’ve answered without hesitation).

“she’s cute and every time i talk to her she listens and laughs you know. she’s hot.”

“right.” you mumble, then look over to chaeyoung, who’s smiling like an idiot. “okay.”

his phone – which had been set on the table for once – started to ring. you eye him as he picks it up, answering with a snarky tone that you hate; the urge to punch him in the face eats you up, but you manage to hold back.

you can’t do this, he’s not any of the few men you tolerate, everything about him pisses you off. you’re going to burst any moment and it’s better to let the fire die down.

“i should get going.” you suddenly speak, not caring that he’s listening to someone through the phone. “i have things to do. sorry chaeng.”

“you haven’t finished your food.” she says, furrowing her brows.

you shrug. “not hungry anymore. you two have fun.”

chaeyoung doesn’t get another word in, you’re already up and ready to go by the time she opens her mouth. haesol doesn’t bat an eye, letting you leave without questioning it.

-

from then on, whenever you and chaeyoung meet alone or with friends, the mere mention of haesol makes you feel a sense of discomfort bordering on nausea. you find yourself growing slightly distant, just enough to create a subtle but noticeable shift in your interactions, especially when haesol is brought up and acknowledged. 

so chaeyoung stops mentioning him, completely disregarding him whenever you’re near because at the end of day she just wants what you two have to be normal. at the end of the day she craves any attention you give her rather than haesol.

and things get more normal from there on out, as long as he’s not involved.

but it still lingers in her mind, you and haesol, you. 

(that’s really complicated to think about, so chaeyoung doesn’t really think on it that much.

but she really should consider why you plague her mind a little more than haesol.

a lot more.)

–

you look down at your notes, spinning the pencil in between your fingers. “the free response ones, they’re worth more points than the multiple choices, sixty percent. i think we have to apply abstract expressionism to pieces and the text, and then there’s some romanticism that we have to use. it should be relatively simple if you just bullshit it with the examples given but–”

you look up again, chaeyoungs eyes drill into your whole being. 

“what?’

she frowns. “you don’t like haesol, do you?”

“we need to study for the exam chaeng.” you grumble, followed by a sigh.

“you’re avoiding my question.”

sitting back in your seat, you look at her, frustrated. then you drop your pencil down on your notes, cursing under your breath.

“i don’t like your boyfriend, there, happy?”

“why?”

“he pisses me off.”

“did he do something to you?”

“did he need to? do i need a reason? i don’t want to waste my time talking about a man or thinking of one. can we just study?” your voice raises a bit, you’re clearly annoyed; chaeyoung decides to let it go, letting you continue on with what you were saying. “anyways, i think chapter 16 and 17 are what we need to focus on.”

chaeyoung stiffens in her seat. “yeah, okay. i have notes for that.”

“great.”

the atmosphere in the study room becomes heavy, almost suffocating for both of you. even worse is when you both sit in silence, poring over notes, the only audible sounds being the scratch of your pencil against paper as you jot down key terms, and the rhythmic tapping of chaeyoung's foot against the ground. the tension hangs thick in the air, palpable yet unspoken.

you look up again, sighing.

honestly, you feel bad (not really, it’s haesol you’re talking about. but chaeyoung? yeah, you can’t bear to see a frown on that pretty face of hers), but you can’t control how you feel about her boyfriend. about her. 

chaeyoung’s been a little crush, well, maybe little isn’t the right word. you’ve never done anything about it because there wasn’t a need to, it wasn’t clawing at you. not until now at least. 

she’s been available, single, yet you never even thought of asking her out or anything, just small advances and subtle hints to something. 

cigarettes shared in more places than you can count on one hand, letting her hold onto your waist as you drove her home on that motorcycle of yours, carrying her over to someplace safe while she’s batshit drunk, and even lending yourself to her when she needed someone to literally lean on. you let her sprawl all over you, despite hating physical touches from anyone else. 

wasn’t that enough? how dense did she have to be? or really, the question was: were your advances really enough?

and now? god, she has a whole boyfriend, it fucking kills you. the mere thought of him being in her life makes it all miserable, you can’t look at that beautiful face of hers or interact with her normally without that weird feeling in your heart, the feeling hurts you, eats you up inside. it’s all because of her boyfriend, the fact that you can’t have her, even though she deserves you instead of him.

the last thing you want is the feeling of your chest being split into two, so you avoid the thought of haesol as a whole.

(it seems to be failing, considering how often you think of chaeyoung, then of him, and now your whole heart feels like it’s being pounded by a hammer 24/7.)

you break the silence, looking up from the notes chaeyoung had passed to you. parting your lips, you don’t speak, instead, pondering, thinking of what to say. 

as you look at chaeyoung, you can't help but notice the subtle changes in her appearance. her hair is a little shorter than before, framing her face in a new way. but it's the nervous way she rubs at the tattoos on her hands that catches your attention. those tattoos, the ones that litter her hand, are familiar to you, more familiar than you'd care to admit. you’ve thought about them in too many ways, some ways you’re a little too embarrassed to admit.

“did you get a haircut?” you ask, raising a brow.

chaeyoung looks at you in surprise, the tension already sizzling down as the conversation starts. “yeah, just a little off the ends, some touch up’s on the layers.

you pause, then reach to run your hands through her hair.

“it’s cute, i like it.”

chaeyoung smiles, finding herself blushing at the sudden compliment. “thank you.”

“hey, after this, let’s grab something to eat?” she laughs, smiling at how anticipated you are. “of course.”

“let’s head over to shin’s–her bibimbap is good, cheap, and the best i’ve had.”

“okay, okay.” she snickers, grinning. “you pay.”

“yeah yeah, whatever.”

it’s these little moments that saw at the growing tension between you two, surely but slowly. 

and then the two of you laugh in between note taking again, it’s easy to ignore the elephant in the room considering how you two are; oblivious, pining a little more than both of you would like to admit, and too conflicted to even consider confrontation or communication.

as the two of you laugh in between note-taking, it's easy to fall back into the comfortable rhythm of your friendship. you both choose to ignore the elephant in the room considering how you two are—oblivious to the deeper undercurrents, secretly pining for each other more than either of you would care to admit, and too conflicted to even breach the topic of confrontation or communication. so you laugh, you joke, and you carry on, pretending that everything is just as it should be, even when it's far from it.

-

haesol turns his head. “something on your mind baby?”

gross, chaeyoung furrows her brows at the petname, weirdly enough. 

his arm is around her, hand resting on her shoulder and her head rested on his bicep. they’re watching a movie, chaeyoung blinks, responding lowly, “oh, no.”

“seems like it.” haesol says, but doesn’t pry.

you’d pry, you’d do something to make her confess her worries. haesol simply pushes her closer into him, eyes on the screen of the tv.

chaeyoung wants to push aside the strange pounding of her heart whenever she's around you. she wishes she could stop catching herself checking you out, feeling every unfamiliar flutter and pang in her heart. it's all so foreign to her, and it makes her uneasy. she doesn't like the uncertainty, the conflicted feelings swirling inside her chest, the questions without answers, everything that has to do with you. 

sometimes she even wonders what it would be like if you were in haesol’s place, like right now, watching this movie with her, with your arm under her head instead of his. maybe if she was next to you, then maybe her evening wouldn’t feel like such a waste right now.

“i think,” chaeyoung starts, “i think im going to go to sleep. i don’t feel well.”

“what? seriously?” haesol asks, there’s a hint of annoyance in his tone. “um, feel better, drink water or something. i’ll be in bed later.”

chaeyoung forces a smile, pursing her lips a little tighter than she’d like, then walks over to his room, flopping on his bed.

she checks her phone, a text from you pops up.

10:53pm

you: wyd

a small smile forms on chaeyoung’s lips.

chaeng: about to sleep

you: at ten–almost eleven, on a saturday?

you: something up?

chaeng: just not feeling it

you: are you sick? haesol is with you right? is he taking care of you?

her brows furrow; this is the first time you’ve mentioned his name. sure, it was through text, but you acknowledged him. she tucks herself into the blanket and stares at the text before responding.

chaeyoung: we were watching a movie and i felt a little tired, just went back to the room to lay down

you: right

you: you better pick up, im calling

she reads your text, and not even five seconds later feels her phone ring, looking at the contact photo of you in some stupid hat in one of those photobooth pictures, as well as your name pop up in bold on her screen. she presses the green icon, bringing the phone to her ear lazily.

“what’s up?” you ask. she hears a bit of noise in the back, it sounds like you’re at some bar, maybe outside of it, probably with some of your other friends who have a higher tolerance than her. 

“y/n, i’m just tired.”

“right.” you say calmly, she hears the faint sound of you inhaling, then a small exhale. “and that boyfriend of yours isn't taking care of you?”

“we were just watching a movie and i don’t know, i just felt… uneasy.”

“he’s giving you migraines.”

“it doesn’t work like that.”

“thinking of how easy it is to dismiss how you are, the thought of him gives me one.” you admit, “if he weren’t so dense then he’d be with you right now–who finishes a movie by themself? who lets their girlfriend feel sick–alone?”

chaeyoung groans. “why do you care so much about him now? you’re always acting like he doesn’t exist and god– are you, are you drunk?”

“no.” voice firm and stern. 

you lean against the balcony in the outside area of the bar, sighing; you’re a liar, and most definitely drunk. how could you not be after soyeon had coaxed you into those shots? on her tab too.

“why are you sulking.” you question, your voice not so far from a mumble.

"i'm not," chaeyoung is also a liar, she is sulking, her body limp against the mattress as she lays on the bed. she's still processing the events leading up to the movie: her and haesol had made out, one thing leading to another which led to them fucking–and not for the first time, maybe the fifth or sixth time, she can’t remember any of it since it was all so… anticlimactic. she's left feeling a pit in her stomach, even worse than the one after their first night of intimacy.

you can hear the bullshit in her voice, the alcohol takes over your senses and you say, “i’ll be over at the park–you know which one. be there.”

“y/n, what? wait–”

“i‘m not letting you sulk alone, stupid.”

“haesol’s going to–”

“i don’t care.” you spit, “when did i ever?”

–

–

you sit at one of the benches, a water bottle in your hand while you try to sober up. to be fair, you’re not off the walls drunk – you can still walk fine, function really well, and honestly, you’re basically fine – but drunk enough to say something a little too bold for your liking. 

the moon is up, pretty full considering it’s the end of the month. it shines down on you, down on your tired features and bothered self because of this whole new problem chaeyoung brought as soon as haesol appeared: an unsure heart.

never were you the type of person to go crazy over some crush, you never let it ruin you, but now, it’s doing just that. 

chaeyoung approaches you, catching the way your hair flows down behind you, a glimpse of your crewneck, and then you turn to the side little as if youve sensed her from behind; chaeyoung looks at you, mesmerized. 

there’s something to be said about your appearance, it’s no wonder you’ve caught many eyes, and especially now, under this glow– and maybe it’s the feeling of seeing someone, you, who doesn’t make chaeyoung uneasy – you look effortlessly wonderful, even if it’s just your side profile facing her.

you turn, smiling like you’ve just seen the rarest star after you catch chaeyoung in your line of vision.

(she’s brighter than a star, much brighter.)

turning back to stare at the lamppost in front of you, chaeyoung sits down, you feel her presence and sense her in your peripheral. then you feel yourself blush, taking in everything in front of you; you smile like an idiot, and idiot head over heels. 

“you are drunk.” chaeyoung says, “liar.”

“you lied first. it’s 1-1.” she crosses her arms, leaning away from you–she’s mad, or at least annoyed–you frown. “hey, what’s up?”

“y/n, you piss me off sometimes you know?”

“what? did i do something?”

she scoffs, looking at you in disbelief. 

“i thought we were best friends, you know? and i could tell you anything, i can tell you anything, i have told you anything. but lately? it’s like, i have to continuously avoid potholes just to keep you from being all pissy.”

you sit up, furrowing your brows in offense. “excuse me?”

“y/n don’t fucking give me that.” she says, tears welling up in her eyes. you stay put, backing down a bit and start to listen. “all i’ve wanted to do is talk about haesol, and you aren’t even willing to do that; you’re the only person i feel like i can talk to about him. and these things? they all bother me, but as soon as i open my mouth and you guess that it’s haesol? you fucking back down.”

“chaeyoung i–”

“do you know how hard it is? the one person i want to talk to and won’t even listen.” she turns away from you, letting her eyes fall to the concrete. “you’re the one person i can turn to, and honestly–it’s embarrassing to admit–but i’ve grown so attached to you, i mean, even when i’m with him; all i think about is you.”

your brain is still foggy, maybe that’s why you’re getting so emotional. the thought of you pushing her away, all because of a man–it’s selfish, so incredibly selfish the more you look on it. 

“i’m sorry.” is all you can utter, looking at her with sympathy and guilt etched on your features. “i’m sorry.”

“you should be.” she’s silent after that, still looking down at the ground while you study her every move and emotion.

she feels a shoulder graze her, then an arm extended behind her back. you push her a little close into you, just enough to make her feel better.

“i’m sorry for dragging you out here and… ignoring everything. i’ve just been really conflicted and i’d really love to tell you why, but i just… can’t.” you confess, looking down at your shoes. “you can tell me anything, always. i never want you to feel like you can’t.”

she turns her head, looking at your face illuminated by the glow of the night and the streetlamp. 

“i hate that you make it so hard to be mad at you.”

“be mad at me, it’s what i deserve.”

“i’ve tried.”

you smile, it’s a little uncertain, but it’s something to clear the air momentarily.

“what’s been going on with haesol?” you pry, it hurts to ask, but for the sake of chaeyoung; you pry.

“god y/n, there’s so much.”

“like?”

she looks at you, then around the park. it hits her that her surroundings are… not her most ideal environment to tell you about haesol, her sex life, and everything that’s been upside down; she doesn’t know where to start.

you read her mind – you always do, somehow – and pause her right where she is.

“maybe we should go to my place, i should be sobered up by then. i hope.

-

the two of you make it to your place, chaeyoung had called a cab because who knows how bad you could get. still, you’re pretty manageable, especially only a few shots. you’ve sobered up completely by the time you reached your place, finding your keys and letting both of you in.

chaeyoung catches a whiff of bourbon, cashmere, vanilla, and amber, with hints of the signature cigarette smell laced within. she makes her way to the little sliding door leading to the small balcony—the same one the two of you always go to when it's late, when you're both tired, and when there's a lot to say. it's a space filled with unspoken words and shared moments, where only each phase of the moon has heard everything you two have to say.

chaeyoung watches you trudge along and lean against the balcony next to her when you arrive. you shuffle through the pocket of your jeans for a box of cigarettes, and she notices that it's half empty. you take one out, then fish for your lighter with a floral design on it. bringing the flame up to the end of the cigarette trapped between your lips, you light it—a routine that chaeyoung could never quite get used to. and honestly, the way you handle the cigarette is hotter than it should be.

smoke leaves your mouth in small increments as you ask, “so, you and haesol?”

“oh, yeah.” chaeyoung says, almost distracted by the way you stare out into space. “we’ve, well…”

“what’s the biggest problem on your mind right now, we can start with that.”

“we– well–” and chaeyoung thinks to herself, thinking of the moments prior to being near haesol and watching that movie, ane even their first night of intimacy. she thinks of how he touched her and how it wasn’t as striking as it should’ve been, how long he lasted – which, wow, was not long – and honestly just how he pleased himself more than her. “we fucked.”

the cigarette almost slips from in between your fingers. “wait, what?”

“we’ve fucked a couple of times, i just, it wasn’t all that.”

“jesus, you’ve been through hell.” you joke lightheartedly, which earns a giggle from chaeyoung.

she takes the cigarette from you, then draws deeply from the cigarette. “it wasn’t too bad, like, i didn’t mind but, it was really–”

“disappointing? men are like that.”

“you and men.” chaeyoung scoffs, inhaling again.

“i’m serious, and being sexually frustrated is serious too.” and then you eye her–dangerously. chaeyoung tries to ignore the way you looked at her, it lasted a second but there was definitely something on your mind. she holds the cigarette to your lips, you move your head forward to catch it in between your lips, inhaling as you fix your crewneck. “you deserve better.”

“he’ll get better.” she says it almost like a manifestation, something she’ll write down on paper and put under her pillow so she’ll finally cum without instructing too much.

“you shouldn’t have to wait for someone to fuck you right.” you begin, and maybe you haven’t sobered up, because then, she widens her eyes after you say, “bet i could make you feel good.”

the world seems to come to a standstill, you lean against the balcony, your tricep resting on the metal railing, fingers holding the half-smoked cigarette as you cradle your face in the same hand. your gaze meets hers with an intensity that suggests you've just posed a question— and honestly, chaeyoung might have sulked to such a point that she's seriously considering it. that small, mischievous smile playing on your lips might just be enough to sway her decision.

“that’s cheating, i–”

“you don’t have to.” turning your head to teh side and puffing. “it was a suggestion.”

maybe chaeyoung is desperate (she most definitely is), because wow, that smirk is growing into a cocky ass grin that shows your teeth and the prominent canines and–

“are you drunk or are you serious?” chaeyoung asks you, looking you dead in the eye. 

eyeing her from the side, you respond, “you want it to be serious?”

she gulps. “no strings attached?”

“none have to be, friends with benefits is a thing, chaeyoung.”

she gulps again. “okay, yeah, sure.”

you smile, then smush the cigarette into the ashtray down on the small stool you have out, then tilt your head to urge her inside.

she follows you to the couch, sliding the door behind her before you sit down on the couch, watching her hesitantly follow. she stands in front of you and you eye her like she’s your prey.

she doesn’t question how your moral compass is fucked, especially after you’ve suggested this, knowing she’s with haesol. but she doesn’t think of whatever your morals and rights or wrongs are after she catches you unzipping your fly, sliding the little metal button out from the slit and–

you’re sliding down your jeans – baggy and a dark navy – they land at your ankle before you retreat back into a lounged position on the cushions. her eyes follow the jeans as they scrunch up at your ankles, then trail up your surprisingly toned legs, and then stop at the calvin klein underwear you have on.

you rub your hand on your thigh, sliding it down to your knee and making eye contact with her.

“c’mere.” you pat down on your skin. “you've been complaining about him and i just... wanna make you feel good for once. that alright? i kind of owe it to you for being so shitty.”

chaeyoungs breath hitches involuntarily as she looks down at you, her morals trying to win her over but god is that difficult to do when you’re so–

you’re sliding off your crewneck, it reveals a tanktop under, and of course, the various tattoos littered on your upper arms and shoulders. she bites her lip subtly.

yeah, there’s no going back on this one.

chaeyoung gives in because c’mon, this is a fantasy that’s been in the back of her mind, and her cunt is screaming louder than ever than when she’s been with haesol. honestly, her pussy whispers when she’s with him, and now it’s yelling–more than ever just seeing you sitting there on your couch, legs slightly parted as you eye her.

there’s a pretentious smirk trying to tug at your lips, but you fight against it and clench your jaw. 

she lets out a long breath before moving over to settle herself down on your thigh, the contact makes her shiver.

"there we go," you whisper softly, drinking in the sight before you. your fingertips dance along the curves of her ribs, hidden beneath the fabric of her cropped, white shirt. her breath stumbles as she tries to focus on you, or anything in the moment, really. "you’re so pretty, you know?”

instinctively, she ruts her hips against you, a soft breath escaping her lips. her skirt allows easy access, easily pushed aside to let her soaked panties glide against your skin. the fabric covering her folds adds to the tantalizing allure, fueling the urge to tease her further.

no foreplay has made chaeyoung feel this desperate for stimulus on her cunt, no one has made her feel this hot and heavy. you haven’t even undressed her yet and she’s already leaving a trail of arousal on your thigh like that. 

chaeyoung slides off the jacket she has on – haesol’s denim jacket that he gave her two days before – and throws it carelessly on the floor, not minding where it lands or what happens to it. the main event is you, all attention is on you. 

the guilt that should've been sitting in her stomach, stabbing her through the heart and holding her down went out the window as soon as your fingers landed on the edge of her skirt – but there was none of that, not when you started to tease your fingers along her skin. 

“how about this too?” you suggest, tugging at the fabric of her skirt, a sly smile gracing your lips. “tell me… you want it off?”

“yes,” she says immediately, almost like a breath. “please, fuck, yeah take it off.”

“how eager.” you snicker.

her skirt is off now, leaving her in soaked underwear and that t-shirt of hers. she’s slipping back onto your thigh, your special seat for her now. honestly, from the way she looks and feels–sounds… yeah, this spot might have to be reserved for her and only her.

the smirk on your face is smug as your eye her hips, placing both hands on them and slowly grinding her on your skin. chaeyoung, who’s not used to this extent of pleasure, moans immediately, biting her lip in embarrassment to suppress anything else that manages to slip out.

you can’t help but laugh under your breath, amused by how pleased she is. you kind of feel bad – if she feels this good from just grinding, how bad is that dick of her boyfriend’s? you pity the girl, so as her best friend, you have to give her what she’s missing.

she’s moving her hips on her own now, scooting up closer to you so she can plant her hands on your shoulders, making it easier to fuck herself on your skin. your groans are low, almost airy here and there while you watch, occasionally helping her out by pressing up against her. 

you can tell she’s doing everything she can to hide the sounds she’s making, desperately biting back moans that you want to hear. you’re not going to let her stay quiet, not when she sounds so pretty all because of you. all for you.

sliding your hand up, you press your thumb on her bottom lip, allowing her plea’s to be heard as you forcefully part her lips, your grip on her jaw almost deathly.

“f-fuck y/n, w-wait.”

the grip on your shoulder tightens, making you groan yourself. she looks down at where her clad cunt meets your skin again, scrunching her brows hard as she desperately ruts against you. 

her voice swells the more she rubs against you, the sounds coming out her mouth reverberating like a symphony building to its crescendo. aggressively, you grab her hips again, shifting her down roughly against your thigh. she throws her head back, mouth widening as a loud, shaky moan escapes. then, like a symphony's final movement, everything harmonizes. 

the sound of your name being cried out when she cums resonates, lingering in our ears, a perfect harmony that captivates you, making you smile. she throws her head down on your shoulder, muttering your name over and over while her hands desperately claw against your shoulder, tricep, skin – against anything.

she’s still moving against you, but slower now, trying to ease herself back down from cumming for the first time in a while. even when she did cum that one time from haesol, it has never left her as shaken up or satiated as this.

your hands stabilize her by the hips as she pulls away, her face inches away from yours. you manage to get a glimpse of her underwear – completely wet, like a tidal wave had crashed against it – smile to yourself, pleased.

“how was that?” you ask, “seemed good.” your voice is low, speaking from the throat as you soften your tone.

“s-shut, “ she starts, then presses her lips against yours, making you hum surprisingly. “up.”

it feels right, so fucking right despite how morally wrong it is. 

she’s basically on your hip now, mindlessly grinding in your lap as she kisses you. it’s slow, sensual, and so goddamn intimate considering this is the first time you’ve done anything remotely… romantic? anything that really crossed the line of “friendship.”

then you’re sliding your tongue against the space in between her lips, earning access to her mouth as you slide your tongue in, exploring her like she’s some eighth wonder of the world. she moans into the kiss, it’s muffled, but it’s great. more than great–amazing.. you kiss and kiss like there’s no tomorrow, fighting for air by the time your lips’ part. and now it’s your time to admire your mess: tangled dark hair framing chaeyoung’s face, her puffy lips and flushed cheeks, and those lidded eyes. 

your lips move to her neck, making her grip at you as soon as you make contact with her skin again. you’re like a fucking drug to her, she’s getting high just from this small dose of you and she might just get addicted after knowing how the high is. this might just be worse than her smoking habits, but if it’s you? she doesn’t give a fuck.

“y/n, fuck wait,” chaeyoung sighs, getting up to slider her underwear off and throwing it to the side. “again, please.”  

you laugh, more than happy to comply. “of course, as much as you want.”

the rest of the night is filled with chaeyoung’s moans, your soft voice coaxing her as she stimulates herself, and the last thing on either of your minds is haesol, because that’s a worry for later.

she cums again a few minutes later – surprisingly fast, but just as good, and you’re not judging her either way. poor girl. she goes a little limp after that, resting against you, still in your lap, and letting her head settle on your shoulder while you rub her back.

“you gonna stay the night?” you ask her, feeling her breath against your neck. “because you can.”

chaeyoung pauses, she doesn’t answer. 

she pulls away from you, then gazes at your face. you look back at her, not really expecting anything, just looking at her. chaeyoung breathes out, then places a hand on your neck before she kisses you.

she whispers against your lips, “i’ll think about it.” 

–

the next morning chaeyoung is still on your couch, a blanket trapped between her legs while most of it is on the floor. the scent of coffee being brewed fills the air. 

she rises from the couch, running her hands over her face with a sigh before tending to her tousled hair. she’s not wearing anything, she’s completely bare. as she turns, she notices your back turned to her, engrossed in pouring a cup of coffee. you’re only wearing a sports bra on top and low-rise jeans lazily wrap around your waist, revealing your underwear.

 the sound of your yawn reaches her ears, and then you turn around with a cup in your hands, holding it to your lips. you both make eye contact.

the silencing squeezes you two, squishing your skin and almost breaking your bones. chaeyoung looks away first.

“you’re awake.” 

she’s not looking at you, instead looking around for the shirt you’d taken off before making her cum the second time around, finding it on the edge of the couch.

“yeah.” chaeyoung responds quietly, “i have to go.”

there it is, you expected this, but it still disappoints you a little, even if you assured that it was “no strings attached.”

“do you need a ride?”

“i can text haesol.”

your jaw tenses. 

she has a boyfriend, right, haesol. chaeyoung has a boyfriend who seems more attached to his phone than to her, failing to truly listen to her. he overlooks the qualities that you find captivating, a boyfriend who... well, is just a man. you try to convince yourself that you've forgotten, but deep down, you know you never really did. if anything, knowing that you can, scratch that, you did make her feel better than her boyfriend boosts your ego, even if just a little. 

you should feel guilty, like you’ve just committed a terrible crime and someone is waiting outside with handcuffs ready to put you behind bars but– you don’t feel any of that, honest to god you dont give a fuck about that. you made chaeyoung feel good, great, fucked her with your thigh, and honestly that’s enough to completely push guilt out your body.

she’s fully dressed again after putting on the jacket that was across the living room on the floor. she looks walks over to you, stealing a quick glance to the tattoo on your ribs and the little one above your waist.

"i can’t believe i did this," she mumbles quietly to herself. then, she looks up at you, gulping. “we need to keep this a secret, okay?”

“i know, i figured.” you respond bitterly, even though it was you who started it in the first place. “so what's next? you're still going to go back to him? are we just going to fuck and forget?"

chaeyoung winces, feeling the pang of regret and uncertainty. 

she’s undoubtedly whipped, she can’t go back to haesol like everything’s fine. she didn’t answer his texts, his calls–anything. and despite how negligent he is–and also the fact that he’ll never make her feel the same way as you did – chaeyoung wants to go back to him, he’s her boyfriend after all. she already left him last night with no explanation, the least she can do is go back. but everything in her heart and head is telling her to stay here with you.

“i just… need time to think about it, y/n.”

you narrow your eyes at her as you sip on your coffee. “right.”

chaeyoung approaches you, frustration etched on her face. your demeanor is elusive, she hates how difficult you are to read. it’s hard to decipher whether you're angry, disappointed, or both. as you search for your phone, turning back around, she feels her shoulders sag with disappointment, her steps heavy as she reluctantly heads towards the door.

“i really thought you’d finally open your eyes, but i guess i was wrong.” you finally say, hearing a pause of silence before you hear the door open. 

a few seconds pass before you hear it close. chaeyoung’s gone.

[neoplatinum]

is there someone else? - the weeknd | son chaeyoung

summary: oh, is there someone else or not?, 'cause i wanna keep you close

pairing: chaeyoung x 10th-member!reader

themes: angst, alcohol, cigarettes, some of twice, implied sex

wc: 1.3k

“tell me.” chaeyoung stares at you, her eyes unfocused, and peering down at your lips. 

she grabs the cigarette out of your mouth, putting it between her own lips and taking a long drag. 

“chaeyoung, tell me.”

“what do you want me to say?” she pulls the cigarette out to flick the ends into her ashtray. “that i love you? that i want to be with you?”

“chaeyoung, are you fucking with me right now? just tell me how you feel.” you scoff, pushing your legs together.

“what? i told you how i felt already.” she continues to take your cigarette, taking long puffs. 

her voice doesn’t waver like yours, she doesn’t have to feel overwhelming dread whenever she has to ask for more. all she does is take and take and take. 

you don’t know how much you can offer of yourself anymore, until you become swallowed whole by her.

she doesn’t spend hours staring at her ceiling thinking about you, she doesn’t spend years staring at you out of the corner of her eye. she doesn’t call you when things go well, it doesn’t even seem like she pays much attention to anything about you. 

“you told me that you liked me while we were fucking chaeyoung,” you stare at her, her eyes distant and far away.

“yeah i did.” she takes another drag.

“is that it? is that the only way you think about me?” you feel yourself falling apart, the anxiety bubbling over, are you only a secondary thought? 

why won’t she take time for you? 

who has she been seeing? 

why can you only see her when the lights are dimmed and no one’s around?

“no, i care about you too.” she lets the smoke lift into the alleyway, barely noticeable under the dim lamppost. you hate the feeling inside of you, all consuming and suffering.

that’s all there is with chaeyoung, just suffering until you can’t hold onto it anymore.

“i understand.” you turn your feet, leaving the alleyway, feeling the pain sear through your chest, even the rain that’s been pouring feels like mist. 

she continues to blow smoke into the night, letting her eyes watch you as you round the corner. she stays there for a while.

--

“happy birthday to you! happy birthday to you!” jihyo continues to clap for you, her eyes on the sparkling cake that you’re holding and you smile at her. your lovely leader who will always try her best to make your birthdays the most memorable.

her voice drowns out as you stare at chaeyoung and mina, shoulders brushing and soft giggles, hands brushing each other. your grip on the cake loosens, and jeongyeon rushes to grab it before it falls, playfully scolding you.

but you can’t do it, you can’t be happy here, you love these girls, and are in love with one in particular. one that doesn’t talk to you anymore.

it’s like, it’s like you’re invisible to her.

turned into a person just watching her pass by. how isolating it is to be in the same group but feel so unseen.

in the same person is someone who won’t give you the time of day, pushing your needs aside for her own. but will shower in the other’s girls affection.

you can feel a rift starting the form, staff are asking around. beating around the bush of the sudden distance between you and chaeyoung. 

official photos with you and chae on opposite ends or always separated by a member. you try not to look at her as much anymore, knowing she doesn’t even take a second to look at you.

nights in showers staring at the tiles, letting the warmth of the water cover you much like she used too. a comfort you aren’t afforded anymore.

you never stay in the same room with only her, always protected by a third person, separated in the kitchen by counters or fridge doors. you start to feel like you need to physically protect your own heart. this ugly feeling growing vines.

but it’s not like she cares.

she doesn’t bat an eye at the sudden change, she lives her life just the same. days spent outside with friends, laughing in green rooms loudly. doing tiktok challenges with other members, still smoking out her window as night when you catch the signature scent. and maybe that’s the truth, you were never as important to her as you assumed.

did you ask for too much? 

were you just a warm body to her?

you spend days removing her imprint from your room. collecting all the small art and her music laying around, shoving them into corners of your room. much like she shoved them into the corners of your mind.

you shove them all into a bag, and drop it at her door. leaving down the hall back to your own room. trying your best to hug yourself all alone.

it’s not like she would notice.

the bag’s gone the next morning, a simple “thank you” message from your phone lighting up. 

you don’t reply.

--

“you like chaeyoung.” tzuyu’s eyes are staring down your wounded heart, one that you’ve tried to keep in bandages, preventing it from bleeding further. but tzuyu, quiet and observant tzuyu, always notices what’s hidden.

“yeah?” you take another swig of the hard liquor, letting it settle in your mouth. the burning sensation feeling lighter than the weight of the past week or so. “what makes you say that?”

tzuyu grabs a napkin, handing it to you. you wipe the corners of your mouth harshly. tzuyu thinks you look absolutely like a train wreck. the flushed skin, stumbling feet, and unkempt hair. 

“the way you look at her like you’re in pain. it’s obvious.”

you just laugh. 

it’s all such a shame you chose chaeyoung.

such a shame, you with your never ending affection, one that even rivaled sana’s physical touchiness. people used to think that you and sana were like two twins, showering your love on the other members. 

until recently, there’s been a distinct quietness with you now. 

seeking refuge in your own head, clouded by thoughts of confusion and curiosity. some nights at the dorm, you just stare. 

stare into the distance, replaying memories like an old film. wondering if everything was simply a memory or a dream. 

is it even worth the fighting? 

is that the only time she’ll be passionate?

only when you corner her, after she leaves you again, does she ever seem to care. you can’t lose her, you can’t lose the spot that you’ve fought so hard to keep.

you smoke to cloud your senses in her, a familiar scent that hung in the air. one that no longer exists, so you smoke the feelings of love to resurface. like a past drug.

“hey? you okay?” tzuyu scoots closer, placing a hand on your shoulder. 

why won’t this feeling of pain end?

you want her forever and ever.

“no.” you fall forward, head into your hands. a sob erupting in your body, choked feelings coming out in sobs. you begin to shake in tzuyu’s arms. you’re glad only tzuyu is here right now. 

-- “why did you do it?” chaeyoung pours herself another shot. downing it as you both stare at each other across the dining table. 

like a drug you can’t quit, she called you last night. only to be followed by an empty bed the next morning. you find her smoking out back.

“do what?” she puts the glass down, letting the burn run down.

“why do you keep calling me?” 

another shot.

you grab the shot glass, her eyes going wide. “tell me.”

“because, you’re there.” she says, tossing her feet up.

“that’s it? that’s all i am? just there?” she doesn’t move.

all those compliments about how beautiful you are, how glad she is that you two are so close, how she cherishes you like no other.

who else has she said these words to? 

who’s heart has she captured that’s not you?

“is it mina?” you ask.

she shakes her head no. “there’s no one.”

“but i’m just there.” you comment.

there’s no one else, you’re just there.

you aren’t even the someone else.

you are just there.

--

a/n: wrote this for @nr1chaedickrider, all the angst for you darling <33. stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

[happilychaengs]

Dreamscape

a/n: HAHAHAHA idk whatt his is. sosososo confsing. my head HURTS but ok! writers blockk so i forcedd mysefl to writte this earlir. im sorryy if its no bueno o no entiendes ;|

word count: 1,179

son chaeyoung x gender neutral reader

tw: she's dead. alluding to suicide at the end. please don't read if you're uncomfortable about this topic

ANGST

You sat at your desk, staring blankly at the computer screen in front of you. You had been staring at it for hours, but for the life of you, you couldn't focus. You were stuck in an endless cycle of monotony, the dull moment getting even duller by the second. You start to notice the clutter beginning to build on your desk. The stacks of unfinished papers, the empty pens you start to forget to throw out, and the tangled electrical cords that are seemingly unchangeable now.

You glazed over at the clock on the wall, watching the minutes tick by as the phone on your desk blared. You picked up, your voice lacking any expression. It was your boss calling. She asks a simple check up on your progress though it's all but simple. You lie and say it's going great. You hang up. Did you leave your stove on today?

You get lost in your thoughts as lunch break rolls around but you don't have the energy to get up. Your stomach rumbles but your eyes continue to stare blankly at your screen. Laughter rings out from the lunch area and it almost feels like you're missing out but then again you didn't have the energy to care. The hours start to pass by, you not getting a single word down. Not a single key pressed. Not a single spreadsheet finished.

Your boss threatens to fire you but her words are lost in transition. It's all nothing but a blur to you. Soon enough, you're walking out of the building with nothing but a box of random contents in your hands as you get in your car and drive down the same street you take everyday.

You park in the same spot you always do and walked in your apartment, the same routine seeming to follow suit. Looking out the window, you see nothing but a plain and simple darkness that sets the tone for the night.

You set the box down at the foot of your bed and walk into the bathroom, staring at the reflection of yourself. You slant your head and squint your eyes as you notice all the things about yourself you didn't seem to before. Was your hair always so unkempt? Were your the bags under your eyes always so dark? Were your eyes always so red and swollen?

Quickly averting your gaze, you pace back into your bedroom and lay down, staring at the bottle of pills on your bed side table. You pour a few into your palm as you tossed them into your mouth.

Quickly gulping down the medication, you laid your head to rest as you stared up at the white ceiling. It doesn't take long for it to kick into effect as you feel your eyelids droop and the world blurring around you.

Today your dreams offer you a change in scenery. A peaceful oasis in the midst of the bustling concrete jungle. Winding paths passed through the lush green grass, provided shade by the tall trees above. The sweet scent of flowers blooming in the spring covered the land as the chirps of bird played all around.

In the center was a pond, the water sparkling in the sunlight. Families of ducks paddled through as parents and children alike sat on the shore, throwing small pieces of bread in.

Off to one side stood a bench, nestled among the trees, covered by the branches. It was worn and weathered, smoothed over by the countless of visitors but still sturdy all the same. As you sat down, you couldn't help but feel a sense of piece and serenity while you stared outwards at the scene playing out in front of you.

Though a familiar scent soon floated around you, the fruity and tropical smells invading your senses. A girl sits down beside you and your head turns slightly as your mouth parts open, "I missed you."

You don't get a clear view of her face, only the silhouette of her nose and lips seen as her long blonde hair gets in the way and cascades down her shoulders. "Do you remember this?"

It's not long before you know what she's implying, a weak and pensive smile on your lips. "It's where we first met and it's where I kept trying to court you until you became my girlfriend. I'm surprised it worked."

Her posture is prim and proper with her hands on her laps, her back straight as you see her nod. "And what else?"

"And... it's... where you died."

You can hear her laugh softly as if you just told her a funny joke, "Do you remember how I look?"

A frown appears on your face as you feel the guilt over the years all pile up on you, you shaking your head, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay." Her tone is still soft, still being able to bring comfort to you. You don't say a lot to her after. Only a few tidbits of what's been going on in your life since as she sits there listening.

You start to wallow in silence as the both of you continue to stare out at the pond. Now the moon was atop the sky, reflecting across the pond and casting a pale glow over the park, the leaves gently rustling in the wind.

"I do miss you." She blurts out, "I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier."

And although nothing in her tone implies it, this moment between you two feels fleeting. Like it'll disappear at a moment's notice. All in the snap of a finger. She grabs ahold of your hand and you feel nothing but a cold grasp that shakes you to the bone, the world in your eyes fading before you.

You jolt awake from your bed, feeling like you've been dragged out from paradise. Like the floor has been pulled out from under you. You look outside the window again and the darkness has subsided, allowing the light to come in.

The thought of preparing for work crosses your mind but the box at the foot of your bed serves as a quick reminder that it would be a fruitless endeavor.

Still, your day is nothing shy of eventful as you lay in your bed, the dreamscape from the night before quickly invading your mind again. The line separating your two realities begins to blur as your mind lingers on the sight of her and how you felt now. Was the life you're living really better than her? Better than how she made you felt?

You eyed the bottle of pills on the table beside you. You wanted to dream forever and they offered it. You quickly fumbled with the bottle and poured out the rest of the contents into your palm, some falling to the floor while your hands started to shake as they approached your mouth. You paused at the last second as you glossed it over, the unexpected sight of her face flashing in your mind. You remembered.

Dreamscape it is.