#sometimes it takes courage to stick to one's beliefs | aayla speaks

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@violentdelightstheseviolentends (Bly & Aayla)

"I come in peace." Were the first words out of her mouth. She had been doing her best to give Bly space, to just avoid him or keep her head down if they happened to cross paths. In truth though. She missed him. He was one of the few people on this island that actually knew her. So she was willing to get burned, just to pretend for a moment that there was a chance she could get him back somehow. "I just wanted to check in and see how your doing." She figured he didn't have much in terms of people looking out for him, though she wondered if he even cared.

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"Well you've made your stance very clear. You will get you to live your life and i'll return to the Temple and mine." She had no reason to leave now, no reason to break the code and brand herself a self-exile from the Order. "After all, it's all I have left from home. It makes the most sense." There was a pain in her words, she would make peace with this loss. After all, she had never imagined being in love before him. She had married herself to the Order before, she could do it again. It would just take time and patience. Like all training. She'd survive and hopefully, he would find someone who makes him feel valued. At his next comment, she just shook her head. "I'd still be dead, but at least maybe you wouldn't be as conflicted as you are.. perhaps if we had never met, there would still be a light in your eyes." A light she had loved so much, a light that she didn't see. A light she struggled to keep in her own.

That had hurt her, no matter what else was going on, he could still read her easily. Though at her words he felt himself tense up, "I do not hate my brothers, I have never hated them" and that would always be the case. No matter what else had gone on, that fact remained true. What he hated was what they had all lived through, what they had to do to survive, and the lives they lived after. Even if he was loyal to the Empire, he couldn't admit that part though, it was more trouble than it was worth. The Empire had it flaws, but least there was peace.

"Yeah, and that will remain my name. The Empire didn't take that from us" least it hadn't really, though he knew there was Empiric Generals who used the clone numbers instead, who didn't see them as much more than tools. It was tiring, but then most of them had been living under the Clone Wars, was it any wonder they were hated? "And what happens here? The Temple is already here, many Jedi too" he couldn't go back to the past, not again, it had ended it pain for them all. "And if you had? Every clone followed that order" more or less, any who didn't were also hunted down.

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“i don't feel any different. do i look any different?” -obi-wan to aayla secura @hxlcycnx

Aayla eye'd the other curiously, he hadn't physically changed. No, he was still the same old Master Kenobi but she could feel how the force sang around him ever so brightly. A feeling she hadn't felt from the other Jedi in the whole time she had known him, which was her whole life. "You haven't physically changed, but your practically singing in the force." She admitted honestly, a slight smile on her face. "Did something happen in the past day and a half since I last saw you?" She questioned with a bit of a probing look.

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❛  you need to make decisions based on what you want. don't make the same mistakes i did.  ❜ ( Christine and anyone ) @tragcdyfallen

"I think it's a bit too late for me." Aayla admitted honestly, "Mistakes or no, I've just lost too much at this point." She was getting tired of fighting, even if she didn't truly want too. She thought about just giving up on it all and just redevoting herself completely to the Order. Even if it didn't truly exist here anymore.

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❛  being strong doesn’t mean never asking for help or admitting that you’re in pain .  ❜ Kanan for Aayla @violentdelightstheseviolentends

"Come on big brother." It was strange to refer to him as such after her memories had returned, but it still seemed like a fitting title. "I just feel bad bringing you down, especially while you are hurt." Aayla admitted, she knew Kanan on some level would understand her problems better then most... but admitting them. Speaking them a loud made it all too real. Made it feel like she was giving up on Bly. At least on some level.

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"I used to live next to one of the best libraries in the galaxy." Admittedly she took it for granted while she had. She ran from her studies, focused more on her physical training then her mental. "I didn't really learn the value of books till I was older then I would like to admit." She added a bit bashfully, "But now, I do enjoy losing myself between the pages."

❝ thank you. ❞ she gives a small smile in response, tugging the book underneath her arm. glancing up as the woman compliments her choice in literature, wendy excitedly starts to talk. ❝ have you read it? I've been wanting to read it myself for a while now. I've heard it's quite the wonderful story. ❞ her words come out a little rushed and wendy quickly composes herself, remembering where she is. ❝ I am. I love being able to escape to another world for a while. are you an avid reader as well? ❞

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❛  i have a spare ticket, you wanna come in with me ?  ❜ - from claudia! @icarianed

"Sure, what are we seeing?" Aayla questioned with a smile on her face, shoving her hands in her pocket as she observed the younger women carefully.

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@tragcdyfallen (Emily & Aayla)

Aayla stared at herself in the mirror for a good long while, a strange sensation being in her own blue skin again. It wasn't unwelcome, she just forgot how connected she felt to the world with her Leeku. She got so consumed in admiring herself, she was caught completely off guard when the other walked in. "Force protect me.. I am so sorry, I'm usually better at keeping my guard up." She spun around on her heels, eyes looking the other over carefully. "I take it you are my roommate?"

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@pennedfairytales (Aayla & Anyone (In Balders Gate))

Aayla had purchased herself a sword. Her preferred saber style had allowed for easy practice. She found a small clearing in Bloomridge Park that gave her enough space to practice. Each step she took was methodical and well practiced. It was like old hats being in her Twi'lek true form again. Finally she became aware of an extra set of eyes on her. "Care to spar?" She questioned, "I could use a partner." She offered resting the sword lightly against her shoulders as she eye'd the other carefully.

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"I used to do a similar tactic with holovids when I was young. I found it passed the time when I was avoiding training or my Master." She admitted, "Sometimes writing and acting can be too predictable and even if I didn't have a shred of talent n my body for it. Little me thought she could make a better story." She half joked. Aayla could tell the other must be holding onto something and thought about just making it a nice causal conversation in case she just needed a distraction.

Belle smiled gently, almost grateful for the other's reassurance. Everything just felt that little bit more uncertain these days, she was still trying to figure out how to navigate it. "Mm, I suppose," She began, shoulders shifting in a small shrug, "It was more about what I'd change in this book to make it more interesting," And that was a lie, but she'd laugh it off regardless. She wasn't all that certain she wanted to let anyone into the mess that her brain seemed to be at the moment.

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@signcfthetiimes (Aayla & Anyone (in Balders Gate))

The Blue Twi'lek had to take the small wins she could muster and being back in her own skin felt like one she could at the very least is take. She stitched herself a makeshift headband to style around her lekku before heading out into the city streets. Her mind needing a bit to readjust to being sensitive to the emotions of all the residents of the city. Her feet silent against the ground as she observed those around her. "Something is off within this city." She spoke to herself, "I doubt any of the normal residents here can feel it." She turned slightly before sighing at the sight of another. "Sorry, I was just verbally sorting my thoughts."

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"Fear is a natural part of life." Aayla assured the other, "Especially following any type of fright or scare, the important part is to recognize that feeling and understand that it is on you to know when you are ready to push past it." Aayla admittedly took her own time to explore with the force again. She did not foresee the betrayal of her men, it cost her and that fear still lingered in the back of her mind.

"Thank you," she smiles warmly. It was nice to be able to speak about her magic again, even despite the heartache. "I do fear I'm hiding from what happened the last time I performed a spell."

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"You'd be surprised, this place changes a lot of people. It's hard to sort this place out, but it doesn't really ever make sense." She figured she wouldn't drop the fact she wasn't human. She doubted the other would actually believe her anyways. "I've never heard of such games, but sounds like a pretty decent idea."

"A whole year? That's insanity. I thought for a second that this was a game and somehow I got stuck in one of them.." The salesman shrugged. "The Squid Games, they were er, games that people played to help pay their debts." That was one way to put it at least.

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Aayla held a small chuckle in at the others attempt. "Here." She moved to sit next to the other, gathering the ruffage closer to the center and building a small tent around it with kindling. "You need a strong base or else the fire will be useless." She looked toward him. "Mind if I help you by guiding your hands?" She questioned motioning her hands toward the others. Not comfortable moving forward without verbal consent. "If not, I can talk you through it as well."

admittedly,  dexter  was  not  an  outdoorsman.  his  survival  would  hardly  last  a  few  days  should  he  be  completely  enduring  all  elements,  –  even  a  tent  was  a  bit  much.  but  alas,  he  was  a  good  sport  –  and  even  if  a  work  camping  trip  wasn't  ideal,  he  did  look  proper  dashing  in  camouflage.  "  so  i'm  supposed  to  rub  these  together  and  it'll  make  a  fire?"  the  man  mused,  holding  up  two  rough  sticks,  each  covered  in  bark  and  already  leaving  dirt-scuffs  on  his  palms.  "  are  you  sure  about  that?" /@ivycovestarters

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Aayla had felt like a foreigner in her new skin since her memories had returned. It was strange to have two lived experiences fighting for comfort in the human body she found herself trapped in. "I will take a whisky on the rocks." She had found a small compromise that made her feel less strange by braiding her hair to resemble the leku she missed so dearly. "It's been a rough day" She sighed, a hand moving to press into the bridge of her nose as her memories clashed yet again at the forefront of her thought.

where: the corner.

tags: @ivycovestarters

this was going to be a long night; the former god already had a headache building behind his eyes, and he'd only just started his shift for the evening. thanatos' whole body seemed to ach with the strain of wings that no longer existed, now confined to ink that marred his skin, and he surveyed the barroom in an almost bored manner. people were steady coming in the door, the noise building and building.

a noise from the end of the bar caught his attention, and thanatos turned to look at the person sitting there. " yeah? what can i get you? "

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"This whole place just keeps messing with my head." She admitted honestly, "I'm just so tired." She added with a sigh as she laid her head down into her arms, she just wanted to break away from everything and retreat into the wilderness at this point. "Is your life doing alright? mines kind of a mess."

.｡.:*☆ "No, it is alright. You know I am always happy to listen," Aang tried to assure Aayla, giving her a smile as he did. "Only got the memories of my real life back recently. And while that is supposed to be a good thing, it does not make it exactly easier, either."