#sometimes i look at my tl and feel like i've been transported back to 1910

[catsolas]

i can't take it anymore,

if you are not going to put any amount of effort into researching the experiences of actual mixed race people, please do not write about your white half-elf dnd/bg3 character as an oppressed minority

"not accepted by elves or humans" is such a vague statement, it's basically meaningless!!

even if you don't have a backstory fully formed in your head, your character does not live in a vacuum. "not accepted" by WHICH elves? WHICH humans? especially if they live in a sword coast city -- why would those elves and humans they pass on the street have any care in the world about their existence as a half elf??

is the character going in to elven grocery stores, speaking in elvish only for the proprietor to give them a weird look or a hard time about their accent? are random humans doing double takes before asking, well where are they really from?

(actual advice below (from a biracial person if that needs to be said))

half elves are really, really not that uncommon. even if they're a rarity in their individual community, that alone isn't a reason for them to be discriminated against. elves aren't a marginalized group in most generic dnd settings or Forgotten Realms! Not human =/= oppressed!

instead, think about what the character's upbringing would have been like and what cultures they were exposed to rather than shaping them on basis of race. a biracial character isn't just someone who doesn't "fit" within a binary system, there are a hundred other factors at play, too.

let's say their elf and human heritages are opposite sides of a riverbank. if they grew up on one side primarily (raised by the elf OR human parent), did they ever get a glimpse of the other side -- whether that was sun, moon, wood elf cultures, or any number of human cultures? what did it look like? did they care about it enough to learn more on their own, or were they content to turn their back to it and stay on the side they were at? maybe they never had an opportunity to learn more!

plenty of people irl have no connection to parts of their heritage. it's up to you to decide whether that is a source of grief, shame, anxiety, etc., for your character. there's no wrong answer, but it's important to explore.

if the character grew up separated from one "side," did they ever get a chance to cross that river? how? was it on a makeshift raft, undertaken at their own peril? did they have regularly scheduled ferry trips, wherein crossing that gulf was a pleasurable or hopeful experience? why did they seek to return or visit in the first place -- was it out of curiosity or filial duty?

if they're seeking a "home" to return to because they've felt out of place in other parts of the world, do they find that there? what about these cultures resonates with them, especially if they were not exposed to it as much from a young age?

can they even speak the language of their predecessors?

diaspora creates so many different environments for people irl -- some kids of immigrants never visit their parents' homeland, while others have the wealth and resources to return regularly. different amounts of grief and obligation are felt by everyone involved in both situations. many of those who leave the community are expected to send back money, clothes, supplies, etc., if they left for a "better life"; and despite their best efforts to maintain their ties to the community, they often end up estranged from their own culture and language over time as they assimilate into their new home. it's a devastating situation especially with the history of colonialism across the globe.

but with regards to fantasy cultures of elves and humans, the possible scenarios are just as endless! a half elf character could have easily been raised by a happy couple who made an effort to share their culture, languages, and histories with their child. conversely, they could have been raised by an elven parent who, still mired in grief at the loss of their short-lived lover, raises their child with resentment borne from that grief, or an overbearing, overprotective nature to keep this "living memory" of their love alive.

maybe the character was raised by a human parent who knows nothing about the elven culture their partner came from -- maybe they feel guilty they can't share it with their child, and maybe they don't. an inherent talent for magic from fae ancestry etc. could be at play here as well, which the parent might or might not be familiar with. something else to consider is that the human parent may only live for a fraction of their child's life even if they die of old age. (this is true in real life as well, obviously, but of slightly different significance here)

tl;dr you can play a half elf like they're a human but with darkvision, it's fine. but if you're wanting to explore how their mixed heritage would shape them, especially for backstory trauma reasons, consider in what ways they're an outsider -- and to whom.