#sometimes i just get like a weird syd frustration about stuff like this and things not feeling ''Right'' though and ughhh

[deadbeandrop]

i can for sure imagine lumpus as being Old and it even feels more "right" to me but it also frustrates me a little bit while trying to figure stuff out... a few ramblings about this under the cut

there's genuinely just no way for me to make it work with stuff like him being childhood friends at camp with slinkman without making them AND jane (!) the same/similar old age... which i Could very well do! but i'd probably cap it at like 50 and i already have important dates organized and even designs made according to the timeline i already had, so it'd kind of overhaul... everything. i think it'd leave me with some stuff that actually makes more sense, and even more that makes less sense... but. i'd have to write things out and think about them. and the thing is that i can probably see slinkman being in his late 40's as well, but jane, on the other hand, not so much... and their history together is important to things to me too! so it's like i'm being tugged in a few directions and if i were to alter something at this point in time it would likely end in a sacrifice. so i would make lumpus a bit older if i could but all of this is the most important thing to me...

so, its really itching my brain right now just due to the Shape of my thoughts, which isn't a good way to go about things, but its sort of become apart of my process and i have to sort of just... deal with it. (most of the time it helps me decide on things and overall has me more satisfied with it, but at other times, it's really not based on anything and ends in situations like this...)

in a way, there's almost like two different versions of things i could go with:

1. lumpus and slinkman meet as adults, with lumpus being a good deal older than him, and lumpus is stuck working the job because nothing else will take him + weird power trip + he comes from a line of scoutmasters.

i can see myself thinking about this version of events too cus i do think it's perfectly solid on its own and fits the more casual tone of the actual show. i might even like how this one is "shaped" a bit more. if i wanted, i could have this be how i view the show's canon timeline (which would include a lot more of the episodes than i personally do) so i can at least have/explore those ideas somewhere as well...

(additionally, chris had some alternative ideas for how dead bean drop could still work with that, and i can imagine playing with that to some degree)

but then there's 2. my version of things in my own version of the show, where lumpus and slinkman (and jane!) attend camp as kids, and there isn't anything like lumpus' family history of scoutmasters.

i think this in itself sort of lends everything to be very character driven, where things like history over time and the characters' general psychology and motivation contribute to themes and more complexity in the stories that wouldn't work as well with the base source material. in my version of everything, i am aiming a bit higher than the average person, after all, to imagine something that's more than only building off of the source material. the main difference of what drives them all back to camp ends up more tied up in those sorts of things, where lumpus is mostly here of his own volition despite hating everything. there's a lot more there to dig into which is more interesting and fun to me personally, and his relationship and close with slinkman i feel almost hinges on this sort of set-up because of how everything ends up tying together, as discussed here. for what i'm doing, it all simply hits harder with the emotional backing if i have it like this, and because of how things are already set up, that means i do still have to make some decisions like the topic of today's post where lumpus is a bit younger than i'd imagine him to be as well

while the first option is perfectly suitable for the actual show, a lot of the elements just don't work for what i'm trying to accomplish, and that's okay. i gotta be okay with that! and to allow myself to do More than one thing if i want, because "canon" is being made subjective and malleable here anyway. we are all just playing around and i'm allowed to play around in multiple ways if i want to as well

end the end, i don't think i even use any lore from episodes like the bean tree in the first place, but, it is sort of crazy when you think about it that its equally as canon that we went from "teenagers at camp 15 years ago" in dead bean drop to slinkman implying lumpus is like way older in the bean tree, but i guess there's really something for everyone here depending on how you want to go about it

[ciceroisthefamilycat]

My post on the first two BL books (here’s the one from Spirit Bound and Last Sacrifice)

Quick thing: I said they should rename the VA series Guardian Rose for the show- I would still be ok with that, but I put forth: Blood Rose (with Golden Lily for if Bloodlines gets a spinoff show).

Ok, so... ugh.. my love for Sydney and more focus on her, versus how quickly I get tired of some of the contrivances in BL.

Bloodlines:

I was reading along and I was like “huh, I really like Lee... what happened to him? was he caught up in the tattoo ring, I thought that was Keith?” so I was impatient and looked it up like a jerk... but yeah that is a captivating, horrible character; the part near the end where Syd notices the “chilling indifference” where this seemingly sweet guy doesn’t give a shit about his soul, or more importantly killing others relentlessly... that is some of the strongest writing in either of the two series. But it is frustrating because we’re left with so many questions with Lee- who turned him? I don’t think we got that answer ever, but was it Robert? No, right, since he only mentioned having turned one woman before? Why did someone restore Lee and then leave him, and is Lee so fucked up when he’s restored because he didn’t get the coddling after “rebirth” that Dimitri got from Lissa and Sonya got from Dimitri, or is it the (perhaps stronger message) that some people just enjoy power and cruelty? Also, Lee lost his Moroi magic whereas Sonya kept hers (that’s more a suspicion on Sydney’s part but I do think it’s right)- it could be a spirit thing that allowed Sonya hers back, but I wonder if it wasn’t because he killed multiple women to try to become Strigoi again (like maybe he did get his magic back, but then he killed Tamara). Also... he decided to try Alchemist blood in his desperation, but didn’t even try spirit user blood from Adrian? My dude, that’s either misogyny, or lack of imagination, or contrivances on Richelle’s part to keep Adrian safe.

Also... ew at Lee going out with Jill, but that should be a given. Someone protect that girl. Like actually. I do think it’s such a great contrast that Syd is like “I’m taking this job to protect my little sister Zoe, who Jill reminds me of, from known predator Keith, who tries to come off as charming and nonthreatening” (and Syd is so disgusted that Julia and Kristin think Keith’s hot) meanwhile Sydney is... aggressively pushing Jill toward Lee. It’s some fantastic (upsetting) irony.

I love the Amberwood supporting cast of teens. Micah is great (and better than Mason imo- sorry). Julia and Kristin are great. Trey is fantastic. I do hate how flat Slade and Laurel are though (typing out those names in a non-Arrow context is weird). I was surprised on rereading how little Ms. Terwillinger is in the first book- I thought she and magic played a much larger role. Also, while I love Syd getting to be a witch and all the characterization (including her discomfort with magic) that entails, I do wish she’d just gotten to enjoy studying Ancient Greek architecture like she wanted during her independent study. Let my little nerd flourish (while also being a volleyball badass).

I disliked Adrian more than I remembered in this book. Like boy, you have a 14/15 y.o. in your head. Stop with the alcohol and stop with the threesomes (did that happen? Sydney goes back and forth and seems undetermined based on the state of dress of his companions) where the minor is going to be stuck with those consequences. And stop pouting about being in the house with Clarence. Like, yes, he’s a kooky old man, but he’s also sweet. And the purposeful sabotage of his job interviews after taking Syd’s time for it... ugh. And the bitterness yet lingering obsession at Rose... I do love his art classes, and I appreciate at the golf course when he’s the only one to see how disturbed Sydney is by magic. I also have to admit to enjoying his decision to paint the apartment “goldenrod”- that ending scene with just the two of them is very sweet.

Eddie still never gets enough to do. I really do wonder what might have come for him if Mead had followed her original plan to do all 4 (Syd, Adr, Jill, and Ed) perspectives. But his takedown of the Strigoi at the end (with the assist from Jill and Sydney) is fantastic. Now if only we didn’t have the unnecessary Eddie/Jill crush drama.

On the Keith front... the eye for an eye is one of the most dramatic things. And I really think it’s interesting how much of these series comes back to sexualized violence against women (starting with Lissa raging on the jerk who assaulted a Feeder in VA flashbacks). Sydney lost her faith in the Alchemists for the first time when one of their own assaulted her big sister, and getting justice for that is what drives her more and more toward the Moroi and “outside corrupting influences.” Which... Abe is a villain in this one. I know fandom loves him, and I do enjoy him, but the man is revealed to be a drug supplier/trafficker... it was one thing when I thought he was involved in finding Feeders and the like, but we see just how much havoc the tattoos wreak at Amberwood, and knowing he’s doing stuff like it elsewhere is terrible.

on to Golden Lily:

chapter 5, pg 83: “But then, [Brayden] opened the door and I realized he was waiting for me to get in. I did, trying to remember the last time a guy had opened a car door for me. My conclusion: never.” I really thought I was about to make a point about Dimitri opening a car door for Sydney at the start of Chapter 2- apparently not and he only got her suitcase, my bad.

Ugh this one... I might have to give up this reread because it’s not even the most Sydrian-centric things get and I’m already exhausted. Look, Adrian is the (21 y.o.) guy who was essentially stalking high-schooler Rose in her dreams- she was surprised to see in Lissa’s mind that when she asked him not to smoke near her he apparently didn’t. Meanwhile, Adrian is ready to throwdown with Sonya, and especially Dimitri, when they request blood from Sydney and won’t take the graceful “no’s” she tries to give them. And I can appreciate growth, and the part where he’s protecting Sydney. But... given his other actions I’m not sure it does come across as growth so much as Adrian picks and chooses when to respect other people’s boundaries, and especially enjoys picking a fight with Dimitri (and then there are the elements where Rose was a biracial Turkish and dhamphir girl who people sexualized over and over, whereas Sydney is the white Alchemist who had never even been kissed before this book). When he gets drunk and interrupts Sydney’s Halloween Dance with Brayden, or purposefully delays her make-up date with Brayden, and messes up Brayden’s name constantly, and pretends not to know how to drive stick-shift, it’s inappropriate. That doesn’t change that he stands up for her with his dad (though he also leaves her alone at the table with him), or that he remembers what she says about hetaerae, or avoids touching her since it means something different to him than her, or that he tries to tell her about the tracker and then follows the Guardians and helps get her out. But like, ffs, could he not have just offered that she could drive the car whenever she wanted as long as he could supervise- it’s still manipulative, but at least it’s not lying and wasting her time?

Meanwhile, Mead writes Sydney as getting annoyed with Brayden for lesser nuisances, and “can’t he be more understand about my ‘family emergencies’” and Sydney just barely starts to call out Adrian interrupting a date yet again... then lampshades it with “oh, it’s an actual emergency for Sonya at least.” Like, in LS Rose had a very heavy-handed realization that Adrian was using her for strength rather than being stronger because he was with her, and Mead manages to be more heavy-handed, just in Adrian’s favor, in this book (series). Also, I swear to fuck, I hate how caricaturized Sydney and Brayden’s nerdiness becomes in this book. Setting aside that I never knew any 18 y.o. this nerdy and I was head nerd at my school, if these two dumbasses want to go to a textile museum or windfarm stop judging them and the fact that you wrote Sydney as liking these things. Also, Sydney really does not give a fuck about her job apparently. Like, I get it, but at the same time, it’s annoying how at first she cared about Jill genuinely as this younger girl she would look out for, and as part of her job, and yet it gets to a point where she’s like “oh no, something seems wrong with Jill- does that mean something’s wrong with ADRIAN?!”... like, babe, you’re compromised. How do you not see that? I don’t need her to be like Rose with Lissa (that was unhealthy for both of them and led to resentment, and Jill and Sydney don’t have that same base to start from regardless), but it is frustrating that it seems like Sydney starts to care less about everyone else than Adrian.

I will say the scenes with Sydney in her red Hetaera costume would be visually stunning, and the actual substance once she and Adrian get to his apartment is pretty fantastic. Heck, even Adrian’s “are you saying my sister looks like a prostitute?” is one of the funniest scenes in either series. But I hate that they’re all pretending to be siblings (or third cousins in Angeline’s case) and meanwhile all crushing on each other, and apparently Sydney and Eddie lose all good sense and forget that’s taboo? Um, WTF? Say what you will about VA, it always kept in mind that Romitri’s age gap was a taboo. Speaking of, I do not forgive Richelle for putting this in print: “Sonya gave [Dimitri] a sly smile. ‘And here I thought you had a soft spot for reckless young girls.’ ” EWW. Sonya was a teacher (even if we fuzz around on whether Dimitri was one). This isn’t funny. I will make an exception for the ship I love because sometimes I am a hypocrite, but don’t ask me to laugh about the idea of a 25 y.o. having a “soft spot for reckless young girls.”

Angeline honestly gets so mistreated in this one. Like to be clear, Eddie or Sydney should have felt free to say something sooner about how she was making him uncomfortable with her advances. But there’s a 15 y.o. who’s out in the world for the first time “there were more people at the school than had been in her mountain community” and Sydney acknowledges this and why she would be overwhelmed, then lays into her with more vehemence than she ever displays at Adrian, a 21 y.o., acting up, because the 15 y.o. was actually overwhelmed when a dumbass performance troupe invaded her space. Also, she and Dimitri are all “she’s here on a mission”... the Keepers don’t keep with your Moroi royalty or rigid Alchemist structure. You grabbed a second 15 y.o. to protect another from political terrorists because you couldn’t trust others from either of your societies to do that job. Heaven Forbid that a girl from the Keepers didn’t immediately adjust to the indoctrination that most Dhamphir girls her age have gone through.

Btw, if Richelle weren’t so focused from the outset on Sydrian, Trey/Sydney have so much potential given the way they’re foils of each other. I love Trey, even granted that he made mistakes. Also the Warriors of Light as the Alchemists’ brutish, less erudite cousins is annoying. Like, from a thematic place it makes sense and does help build toward Sydney’s defection from the Alchemists that she sees other humans are not always the good guys and her own organization has hidden secrets, but given how much VA was like “ew those classist royal Moroi” the absolute disdain Sydney has for the Keepers and Warriors for having older clothing or lesser means reads in this book as very classist. It doesn’t help that she’s simping over Adrian and Brayden’s expensive cars every chance.

On the Warriors Front, I have a major issue with how Sydney’s dynamic (and Jill’s) with Sonya are written in this book. Sonya is Jill’s mother’s cousin, who was one of the only ones to know Jill’s true paternity. Sonya admittedly went Strigoi for ~three years, but I don’t buy that Sonya wasn’t a constant for Jill at St. Vladimir’s during her elementary school years. And then Sonya was there for Jill after Romitri took care of the Dashkov/Doru brothers. Yet, Sonya and Jill never exchange any interactions on screen, and Jill doesn’t even get to be especially alarmed over her relative being abducted by the Warriors. Meanwhile, Sydney who saw Sonya’s restoration and literally described it as a miracle to Rose at the time, whose religiosity is a huge part of her character, and of her order, doesn’t mention it while trying to persuade the Warriors? Like, her dynamic with that type of magic could be fascinating, yet it’s totally glossed over rather than playing a part of Sydney’s increasing questioning around magic. Sydney knows with more certainty than anyone (save maybe Dimitri) that Sonya isn’t putting on an act- she saw Sonya go from feral Strigoi to repentant Moroi in front of her eyes. Her calling it a miracle would have even given the Warriors a better reason to try and discount her as magicked, so I don’t get why it wasn’t brought up. Setting aside that, two more minor grievances: 1) why did Sonya go over to Adrian’s (and no one made sure she got home safe) after the Warriors of Light made it clear they were watching his residence? 2) Sydney mentions 4 recorded restorations- that’s Dimitri, Sonya, Lee, and I guess the unnamed woman that Robert Doru first restored, but why are they including her when they actually know next to nothing about that one. ETA July 1: I had forgotten that it was Sonya who said the “in a fight they’re lethal” quote about Romitri- so that was a fun realization at least

Stray thoughts on the book: the Micah/Jill break-up was stupid and sad and pointless (and I like Angeline/Eddie better than Jeddie, though I’m not sure that was the case the first time I read the series). Shame on Lia DeStefano for manipulating Jill into the print ad. I really thought this book was going to end with Zoe showing up- I guess I forgot a full book of events. I know Keith’s dad is probably not a great guy given his son and exactly what Tom’s primary concerns were when we saw him on page, but I do tentatively like him? Everyone’s kind of an asshole to Clarence, especially given how they’re using his house and his presence for their convenience. I do like that Sydney has a rough time with the location spell and it takes hours of just sitting waiting before she can get it to work. I ended up hating Sydney’s storyline about weight my first time reading through Indigo Spell- it felt like Richelle threw it in and it didn’t actually seem any healthier to me, I think, that Adrian and Sydney were like... tit for tat pushing each other to stop their vices; that being said, I was surprised how much I kind of liked Adrian calling out Sydney’s obsession with weight at the end of GL. Like, I still don’t love a guy talking down to a woman about her weight (especially the phrasing of telling her to gain weight to be more beautiful) but the actual content was enough to overcome that while reading that scene, so I’m wondering if maybe my opinion on the plotline in IS will have changed.

The adaptation front:

so, like with VA and FB, I would combine the first two books into one season

I fancast a Latino guy as Eddie (with a book-typical blonde for Sydney), and a black biracial actress as Adrian... so um, as I mentioned, I really dislike how they try to “familiarize” Sydney, Eddie, Jill, Angeline, Adrian, and Keith... I’m not sure how to overcome those plot difficulties but anyway yeah

on the genderbent Adrian: so Adrian as a girl presents far fewer issues to adaptation than it did with the VA books; it maybe helps with the protectiveness from Clarence (he saw Tamara in Jill and Sydney, surely he would with Adrian too); since I mentioned how I don’t get why Lee never considered drinking from Adrian the spirit user, I do think that would be much more likely in a show with Adrian as a woman... so imagine Lee planned on draining Adrian that weekend in LA, but they lost track of each other, and after that he liked Adrian too much and cared about Jill, so it was a last resort like with Sydney vs. Keith; I realize this also means in Malachi Wolfe’s self-defense class, there are no guy students, but it could be the mom with three kids including a newborn is a dad instead, or other new various characters

lesbian Sydney: look, Frostbite was plenty evidence that sometimes even when you like someone there just isn’t heat to a relationship (Rose/Mason), and that was the point in Sydney/Brayden, but imagine Sydney going through the motions throughout GL and she’s really trying to date this cute guy, but she has no heat to it, and then Adrian (a fellow lady) kisses her and it’s a revelation... and she could simply be like, oh, so boys were the problem, and try to move on with a girl in IS (because even though she never considered it before, at least the Alchemists aren’t strictly speaking homophobic) but then realize... “yeah I had a crush on Rose too, and I’m into girls, but it’s specifically Adrian that I’m feeling this heat of real affection with”

like, this is something that majorly pissed me off while reading BL series the first time: you’ve got Jill girlcrushing on Sydney as a gag because of the psychic-link to Adrian, you’ve got Adrian having a threesome with two random Moroi girls, you have Adrian’s token lesbian art-class friend, and then Sydney gets caught in a relationship with Adrian and sent to conversion therapy (literally)... just give me lesbian Sydney otherwise fuck that noise

I mentioned the Hetaera costume already... I don’t care... I am ready for that visual, and her in the parking lot in it right before a storm... also Jill’s fashion runway and fairy dresses should be fun too

so if they get this far, would BL be it’s own series while VA is actually still running? I wonder how they would handle the time Sonya and Dimitri would be in Palm Springs? Could we get a fun crossover event with Mikhail coming to town with a quickness when Sonya gets abducted? He found out she was missing at 12 hrs. before the rescue mission- I don’t buy that he didn’t come to town to join them...

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews... Legion (S01E03) Chapter 3 Airdate: February 22, 2017 @fxnetworks Ratings: 1.043 Million :: 0.49 18-49 Demo Share Score: 8.75/10 **********SPOILERS BELOW********** 'Legion' requires a certain state of mind to take in what the show is putting out... 'Chapter 3' in particular is just pure chaos, but in this case, contained chaos, for the most part anyways. I've watched the episode twice now because I feel to properly review, I must also breakdown and deconstruct the story piece by piece to truly understand just what the hell is happening. Melanie gets advice and listens to old proverbs from a cappuccino machine that her husbands voice is inhabiting... It sounds as if he's trying to warn her that everything is not what it seems or what you need it to be. Whatever they mean she just enjoys his company, which is shown through her pouring out the cup of coffee she had barely sipped from and asking for another cup... This is what I took from it anyway. I had to watch several of the scenes repeatedly to get a good grasp of what was really happening. In and out of the dream work, this world is bizarre and abstract, which can make watching 'Legion' both an absolute blast, as well as incredibly frustrating. If 'Legion' itself was a polygraph the needle would break from scribbling from one end to the other with such ferocity. I imagine that's exactly what it's like for David to just exist, awake or asleep, just one piece of a puzzle after another, some of the pieces belonging to separate puzzles, but all the of the puzzles form a picture that he can't make out... But promise a bigger picture. Yeah, even explaining it is strange... But to interpret something so far out of the box, you have to think out of the box. I like that 'Legion' challenges my mind, I just have to put of my seatbelt and helmet before I press play. In 'Chapter 3' Melanie and Ptonomy continue their 'Dream Work' with David. They attempt to go slow, and immediately discover that David's powers reach beyond what they had originally thought when they see him in a pure state of emotional distress bursting the entire contents of a kitchen wide open through kinetic energy after a fight with Philly when she discovers both him & Lenny out of their heads from the 'blue dragon/mist'. There's a bit of a disturbance, evil laughter, and the evil face that many speculate is Mojo and David is spooked (and apparently only he can see and hear this), they decide to go back and start over but Ptonomy is stuck... He can't bring them back. Suddenly they are transported out of the memory cube, through several thick walls, 600 yards away, which freaks out Ptonomy. He asks David, "What are you?" Little does he know, David isn't the issue. Its almost comforting that the show goes from a frazzled state to a calm, serene scene that David shares with Syd. We as audience members need a bit of time to decompress, the show can get so intense so quickly that we need proper time to process it. Here we have David talking about how ever since Syd inhabited his body and switched with him, he still feels as if he has long hair and goes to brush it away, his balance is effected, and even admits to touching himself while he was her. It all sounds creepy, but she listens the mood with a joke that she jerked off... Then admits she's just joking. She clearly has no hang ups about the body switching and even admits to switching bodies with others; A Chinese man, a 300-lb woman, a 5-year old girl... "But wherever I go, I'm me." She delivers the line with such a calm assurance. She's at peace with her powers, it's advantages and disadvantages, and somehow that makes the scene even more calming, surreal, almost dreamlike. The tests continue with Loudermilk... This time monitoring his brain waves and hormone levels. Telling David to think about the most stressful moment in his life is probably not the best direction to give the man. We're transported to Halloween, when David was a young boy, which turns into a narration of the faceless man telling him the terrifying bedtime story. Can I pls get a hit that 'Blue Dragon' stuff? I need it just rehashing this insanity. The voice gets deeper and more menacing and Young David stumbles onto a graffitied being on a wall that looks like an angry version of Moral Orel. What in the fuck? David snaps back into reality as Angry Moral Orel makes a b-line towards him. Loudermilk asks if everything is ok, Lenny appears on a rolling chair. Clearly things are NOT ok as Lenny taunts David and turns into his sister insinuating that they could be raping her. Syd runs in and they literally just kind of disappear into nothingness. Go ahead and take another dose now, under the tongue guys, it's always better to keep it under there as long as possible and breathe through your nose. Syd & David are vaguely transported to where his sister is being held and grilled by Brubaker... The Eye senses their presence but they are like particles and atoms that are loosely put together, making them appear like faint mirages. As The Eye reaches for them they transport back into a pond by the compound where they reassemble through brightly colored matter in water. Fuck it, go ahead and dose again, it's not gonna hurt at this point. Melanie gives us a little backstory on The Eye, who was a recruit brought in by her husband who she explains now transfers consciousness through the electronics in the buildings from the elevator to the coffee maker. Yeah. David could give two shits who he is (or her electronic hopping husband), he just wants his sister. Chill David, sometimes in order to beat your opponent, you must know your opponent. Melanie believes that David's brain is defending itself, hence the trouble with the memory work... But she's wrong, she's dead wrong... As she's not aware of the Yellow-Eyed Devil, that may or may not be Mojo. She's frustrated, even considering the notion that she may be making things worse. Now David is worried that she's giving up, but she can't, he's literally the most powerful mutant alive. Melanie has one last idea.... They'll sedate David to gain unfiltered access to his mind. Syd demands to be there. This is about to get crazy... Full access to David's mind is the stuff nightmares are made of, literally. A quick moment between David and Syd the night before the next intense, full access session of dream work with Ptonomy to further establish trust between the two... And you can go ahead and dose yet again, at this point it's required. We start with how David ended up at Clockworks... Lenny and David are high as a kite and Lenny is pushing David in a shopping cart... You know, normal blue mist activities. Melanie explains that David is with them but he's in child form, because that's the only part of him that's awake and that Syd can touch him because her powers don't work in this realm, not without her physical body. Oh yeah, shit is about to slam you right in the feels. Two people who can never touch, and most likely have never really been touched (for separate reasons) are about to touch for the first time. The hug of the century, y'all. It's serious. Ptonomy wants to 'move this along', but I'd prefer the hug to last forever. Potato, PoTATo. They follow the David they've come to explore... He's experiencing a strange phenomenon; memories within memories... Inception, if you will. At this point, you've dosed too much, but it's too late now... I should've never encouraged all of that excessive hallucinogen use, but it's too late... The rabbit hole is wide open. David is rummaging through tapes... He appears in a flash, cramming the film from the video tapes into his mouth and the walls start to rumble. Young David takes off... Syd is rightfully worried why Melanie & Ptonomy aren't reacting. Don't they hear that? Don't they see that? Told you that you shouldn't have taken that last dose! Or did I? The walls are literally being ripped apart and there are definitely hands pulling them apart from the other side... And Melanie & Ptonomy are oblivious. Holy FUCK, someone listen to Syd and get the hell out of there! Ptonomy attempts to transport them out, but his powers fail. Unfiltered access, this is what they wanted!!! The tension is building like a brick mason working in fast forward, brick by brick... Little David dashes out of the room and hops over the older version of himself and Lenny who are high on the Blue Mist on the ground... What an image! What did we take again?! 5-MeO-DMT?! Syd walks into the kitchen where David is fighting with Philly. The intensity continues to build as Little David enters a bedroom and hides behind a bed where David appears to be fucking someone... I can't tell if it's Philly, Im not sure it matters... It's the energy that counts. Syd has to coax him out of the room where they then attempt to hide. Little David grabs a screwdriver and pops open an air duct that looks like the size of an old laundry shoot. Moral Orel from earlier in the episode is spotted, staring into the corner of a hallway. Yup, time to get the fuck out. Little David Climbs in and Syd is hurried in afterwards after Moral Orel suddenly turns and heads her way. I'm pretty sure I've had this exact same nightmare before. Luckily Moral Orel has. Big old head and most likely wouldn't be able to fit in that vent... But 'The Devil with The Yellow Eyes' makes a surprise pop-out when Sue looks back... Gotta admit, not what I was expected, may have peed myself just a smidge. Syd pleads David to wake up and the shots are cutting back to the room where the dream work takes place, with a fish eye lens (just in case things weren't already weird enough). Suddenly Syd comes to, gasping for air like she's popping her head out of a very deep dive into a pool. She literally beats Ptonomy with a pillow and wakes him up... Unfortunately Melanie and David are still under. OMFG, I literally can't take it. This has turned into a straight up horror show. Cut back to Melanie who's making her way through the corridors of David's memories. She finds his old room and the book the man without a face has been reading to David in past Memory Work sessions... One the cover... Is Moral Orel!!!! Ok it's not really Adult Swim's Moral Orel, the book is actually titled 'The Angriest Boy In The World'. She begins to read the book... It's violent and doleful and straight up terrifying. Not the type of book you read your little boy to put him to bed, know what I mean? The book slams down on her hand hard and basically eats it, she pulls away and looks down at her hand and it's bloated and disfigured, behind her is that obese 'Devil with The Yellow Eyes', that looks an awful lot like Mojo. She immediately snaps out of the trance and wakes up grabbing her hand as you would if you had just experienced a nightmare where you lose a limb and you're certain it's happened in real life. It's official, Melanie is now unsure if those memories they are exploring even belong to David at all. The episode fades out as they attempt to wake up David who is now stuck in the other realm, and it is the opposite of peaceful and serene... As the camera pans backwards holing David into a small space where he's surrounded by multiple people with aggressive energy. What a fn' episode, huh? At least now Melanie has a better understanding of what their working with... And isn't blaming David from holding back memories and advancement in treatment. The whole thing just makes me shiver a bit. Until next time, guys... I'm trying to make this a weekly thing... And I'm really enjoying Legion, but it is not an easy watch... It's like a 1000 ego deaths and being trapped inside a bad trip on a seriously heavy tryptamine.

[theworstbob]

the thing journal, 7.2.2017 - 7.8.2017

capsule review-like entries about the things i saw or heard last week. in this post: lord steppington, the golden hour, the last man on earth, souled out, splasher, le jour se leve, creed, a 14 ans, 4:44, singles, heart beats

1) Lord Steppington, by The Step Brothers: I wrote a brief paean to Rhymesayers last week, and I do stand by it, I'm just not thinking about this album specifically when thinking about the label. It's a decent album, it's very Midwest in spirit what with the soul samples and whatnot, but it's also thoroughly whelming Midwest rap. And that's not a bad thing, not every album is destined to be the best album ever! And "this album is OK" isn't that great a criticism, like oh no, how dare something not instill a fire within me, and we didn't make it five sentences into this album before I wrote about writing. Tomorrow will come.

2) The Golden Hour, by Kimbra: So real talk, I sort of thought this album was gonna be the biggest waste of time of all the 2014 joints I added to the library. I only knew her from the Gotye song, she was described as "dream pop" which doesn't sound like anything which could capitavate me, I'm not 110% into the Gotye song if I'm being perfectly honest, it seemed like a bad time from the second I hit "add." But wouldn't you know it, while there was a lot of indie bullshit (man "90s music" is such a predictable bummer), there were actually two (2) disco-y tracks that went hard as hell and made me pay attention. I sort of expected this entire album to move at 3 MPH for 50 minutes, and while I recognize it's not fair to weigh an album against one's expectations (0/2! nailing it this week!), the dance tracks themselves were actually great, and knowing Kimbra was capable of doing more than whisper plaintively made me pay attention to the rest of the album, and there was some really cool stuff in there. Not my cup of tea, but not something I'd refuse if it was what a host had on offer.

3) The Last Man on Earth s3, cr. Will Forte: Definitely the best season so far. The episode where Tandy takes Kenneth Choi to his home in Seattle while Carol tries to get Gail to adopt her is so good, it feels like something the series had to do at some point, acknowledge that these characters had lives before the virus that they are thinking about all the time, and the Kirsten Wiig episode was gold, like, half that episode is just Kristen Wiig yelling at a dog, and that's the better half of the episode. I also really love the version of Tandy who expresses his self-centeredness by trying to be the nicest most helpful boy alive. The show is just so nice and so great and I'm so excited to see where they take s4 in however many months.

4) Souled Out, by Jhene Aiko: One day I'm going to admit to myself that I don't like this kind of music as much as I want to. Like, greatness transcends, I can hear Blood Orange or Solange or SZA and know what I'm listening to is a miracle, but stuff like this or Syd or Smino, like, I want to be where these albums are, but I just can't get to that place. And part of this is just the way I treat music, I know, I'm trying to get the full experience with just one listen on a bus ride home and that's not doing it right, but with albums like this, which are so very subtle and so very understated, what I would get out of the full experience isn't worth the effort it would take to sink into it. I'm sure it's very good, but I'm just never going to be this into mid-tier alt-R&B, and I'm okay with admitting that. Like, I'm about to rave about a colorful platformer video game where you play as a spiky-haired child who bounces off special paint, I'm not quiet R&B introspective jam person.

5) Splasher, dev. Romain Claude: I'm actually writing this like six levels deep into this game because I am absolutely in love. If there's one genre of game I love, it's indie platformer (I like VVVVVV and Runbow, I'm not an afficionado or anything), and this hits a thousand of my buttons. Like, I plunked money on an actual controller for this game, because I tried it for like ten minutes with my keyboard and was like "Nope, nope, this will never work" and set it down (did I write about my first ten minutes in here? Not sure I did. Ah, well!) and now I have a controller and my gosh the movement. This is a game that wants you to move through it quickly, but it never feels like you're out of control at any point, the little orange dude whose name probably doesn't matter is always responding to what you're telling him to do. Like, the air controls! He floats just enough that moving him around is still a skill to be mastered, but not so much so to make it tedious, they struck a really fine balance there. So the game hasn't felt unfair as of yet, all the (many) deaths I have suffered (many, many deaths) have been 100% my fault and have not felt frustrating in any way. And every level with the golden bouncy paint has been absolutely delightful. I'm not sure what later levels have in store for me, I'm sure I'm gonna hit a difficulty curve, but my gosh, what a wonderful little treat!

6) Le Jour Se Leve, dir. Marcel Carne: yes hello hi welcome to post i am reviewing a colorful video game about a bouncing parkour child an 80-year-old french film So I mean I don't have anything to say about this film, but it's just so nuts to consider that films used to look like this and feel like this. Like, the idea of this film wouldn't have been out of place in the dark anti-hero TV drama boom of the 21st century, but cinema had only progressed so far in the '30s, so it's a dark anti-hero drama being told with the cinematic language that had been developed to that point. You can see the first steps being taken to Breaking Bad, but it's several decades away from actually getting there. But the film is also telling its own story, it's not just a marker on the chart of evolutionary progression, it's absolutely worth watching on its own merit, but the entire time, I was just thinking, oh hey I've seen that executed more completely in recent years, that's cool to see the idea before it was fully developed.

7) Creed, dir. Ryan Coogler: The most impressive thing this film did was be a film that worked for someone that had never seen a Rocky movie. It does assume you know some moments from the Rocky series, but only the iconic ones you've seen parodied in other pop culture events. You hear the Rocky theme, you see the steps Rocky walked up, the main character is the son of the most famous adversary, it doesn't traffic in advanced Rocky esoterica, it is just a film that carries the Rocky branding. And I love the way it dealt with legacy. Every single character was trying to do something before life took the opportunity away, and it felt honest while still feeling sort of like meta-commentary, like Creed knew it was going to be judged against Rocky and wanted to prove it was Creed before people called it Rocky in the same way Adonis needed to prove he was Adonis before people started calling him Apollo's son. That's me reading way too much into the movie, though. It was dope. Hey guys did you know that movies a bunch of other people also have seen,,, are good? Sometimes things in the mainstream are OK, too! Anyway here's another French film.

8) A 14 ans, dir. Helene Zimmer: I don't think I've ever seen a film that allowed teenage girls to be the assholes they are in this film. Like, movies like Mean Girls or Easy A or what-have-you are about how teens can hurt each other, but the teens' assholishness is heightened for comedic effect, and the teens all learn lessons in the end. This presents an unvarnished look at how teen girls can absolutely fuck up everyone's lives, and I thought that was fairly admirable. Yet while it was doing that thing, it never lost sight of the fact that its characters were still developing as people, that they weren't necessarily aware they were doing monstrous things they were just kids who don't know any better who were fucking up in ways they might never be able to understand, so the film wasn't this dark look at The Dangers of Teening, it was a sympathetic portrayal of young women figuring out who they wanna be. It’s not a coming-of-age story, it’s a being-of-age story. This is an accurate descriptor of the portrait of young women being painted by this film, and also a joke about how nothing actually like happens in this movie, yeah hello hi it me I like songs that go everywhere and movies that go nowhere.

9) 4:44, by Jay-Z: Everything everyone is saying about this album is correct. I initially balked at the concept of a response album to Lemonade, but I never considered that the word "response" was being used as shorthand for "detail of Jay-Z's emotional response." It's not just that it's a rapper going through his life and loves and considering how he failed, it's that it's Jay-Z, who has spent the last five years rapping about how many yachts he owns. (And it's also just that any rapper this side of Rhymesayers is being this introspective. Like damnit man this is our thing, how dare you be better at this than us.) And just like Lemonade, this is a really fucking good album, and even if it deals with difficult topics, it doesn't handle them in a difficult way, this is an album I'm excited to return to.

10) Singles, by Future Islands: Maybe I'm just not remembering The Far Field well enough, but this man was doing some things with his voice I don't remember doing on The Far Field. There are moments where he dips into this soft growl that are so out-of-place in the middle of these dreamy synthpop tracks yet don't feel jarring, always sort of feel logical. (One would assume the band knows how to structure songs around the things the dude wants to do with his voice. It's weird how bands that are good know how to write songs!) And, gosh, the world has been saying this for a thousand years, but "Seasons (Waiting on You)" is just such an absolutely perfect song.

11) Heart Beat, by Dami Im: Let's go back to Souled Out for a little bit, because if I'm going to listen to something mid-tier, I'd rather listen to something overdramatic than understated. Something like this is what I can get into, All The Singing over the most trashy pop production, not vibing over droning electronic beats. This isn't to suggest that this album is better than Souled Out, Souled Out is probably better on an objective basis, just that this is the sort of thing which more easily draws me in. I am always going to be into a young woman singing joyously about how super a certain emotion (in this case, Love) is. This was a fun 35 minutes or so. I prefer having fun sometimes!