#sometime this week is my one year anniversary of starting this game and it's been food for brainworms since

[sketchpepper]

Enveloped by bicep girth

[helen-with-an-a]

Beautiful Girl Headcanons 4

Alexia Putellas x reader

Beautiful Girl Masterlist

Amor has a Polaroid that brings on all of their dates - she keeps a scrapbook of all of their dates in order, what they did and where they were

Alexia didn’t tell Amor she was dying her hair pink she just came home from visiting Alba with it

Amor can speak German (she played at Wolfsburg) and it’s one of the few big European languages Ale really has no clue what they’re talking about (with French and Italian she can get a general understanding of the conversation because of Ale’s knowledge of Spanish and Catalan) - Amor, Ingrid, Caro, Frido and Eva like to speak on German sometimes (partly so they don’t loose the language but also because it drives the Spanish gals insane)

Amor likes the bedroom to be absolutely freezing at night time but Ale is a big cuddler

Amor starts to call Ale ‘my wife’ when she’s out in public and Alexia legitimately panics thinking that she and Amor got married but she doesn’t remember it

Amor likes to leave some rather … scandalous … Polaroids for Alexia whenever they’re apart for more than a few days

Ingrid and Ale set up play dates for Amor and Mapí without their knowledge - they sit and gossip whilst Mapí and Amor play video games and stuff (Amor and Mapí just think it’s a group hang out)

When Ale got the all clear from the doctors to play matches again after her ACL, Amor was sobbing harder than Alexia was

Every anniversary, Ale gifts Amor a scrapbook to fit their Polaroid date memories in - they’re personalised with the date and which year of the relationship it is (they usually go on at least 1 date a week so it’s quite a hefty album)

When Alexia played her first minutes back after her injury, Amor surprised her with a strip tease and lap dance when they got home

Every time they see a photo booth, Amor and Ale have to go in it - they always do the same 4 poses (one nice smiley one, their heads pressed together; one with Amor kissing Ale’s cheek; one where Ale is kissing Amor’s cheek; and one where they’re mid-make out) - the photos get pinned on a cork board they keep propped on their sex toy dresser

Ale is an early bird and Amor is just a permanently exhausted pigeon

Their periods have synched up - Ale’s appears first and 2 days later Amor’s has arrived

Amor knows Ale’s skin care routine off by heart and Ale knows Amor’s

Amor is a heavyweight when it comes to her alcohol whereas Ale gets giggly after one drink

The sex toy dresser came about after Ale asked Alba to grab something from her bedside cabinet but Alba opened the wrong drawer

Amor is a lamp kinda person - the Big Light is banned from being switched on

Ale gets really irritated when Amor doesn’t put things in the washing basket

Amor is not a fan of the yellow kits - she understands the significance and importance completely and would never say it out loud but she thinks she looks hideous in it and wishes they didn’t wear it

Ale is basically a hoarder - anything Amor has given her has been kept (down to the wrapper of a chocolate bar Amor surprised her with whilst she was on her period when they first got together)

Amor occasionally uses the Polaroid during sex because she knows this is the only way those sorts of photos won’t be hacked - they’re all stored away in a safe that she keeps in the back of the wardrobe

Amor’s favourite kit to look at was the light purple 21-22 away kit but her favourite kit to wear was the 22-23 home kit

Alex’s love language is words of affirmation; Amor’s is gift giving but they both have physical touch as their second

Before Amor proposed to Ale, she asked Eli if she could take her out for lunch, they ended up at Alexia’s father’s grave and she asked for their daughter’s hand - she said it was important that she asked both of them and she hopes Jaume would approve of her and Alexia’s decision to love Amor

The reason why Amor was once called the devil by a dad of a boy she played against was because she pushed him (the dad) really hard (essentially jelly legged him) and he fell over - she was 6 and he was bullying is child because she beat him

Ale will cry at the drop of a hat when she’s watching movies if she’s alone with Amor, if there’s anyone else in the room (even her mum and sister) she refuses to let the tears fall

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Are you sure they like each other? (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

Barely edited and I don't know if I happy with this, but I wanted to put something out. I hope you enjoy :)

Summary: Alyssa and reader are together, but very stoic and not affectionate in public. Think the team know they're together, apparently not. Start to question if they even like each other. Alyssa and reader turn into soft, love sick people when alone.

Warnings: Tiny bit suggestive, some swearing

Words: 3.3K

Alyssa had slipped out, taking our bags up to the room while I was surrounded by some of the team. I had offered to help, but she had insisted I stay to catch up, leaving before I could protest. Neither of us would be considered extroverts, though I was the one who liked to talk a bit more. Kristie pulled me into a tight hug before a few of the girls following suit, "How was your break Y/n?"

"It was pretty good. Alyssa and I just took it easy. Spent some time fixing up some of the stuff around the house I haven't had the time to do. Visited family, that sort of thing."

Confusion covered their faces, Kelley being the first one to speak up, "Wait. You spent the break with Alyssa?"

Now it was my turn to be confused. Alyssa and I had been together for almost 5 years, living together for 3. It wasn't something that had been hidden. Our relationship wasn't public knowledge, but friends and family knew we were together, or so I thought anyway. We weren't an affectionate couple in public or even with our friends, barely ever touching past an occasional hand on the back, a short hug after a game or if we were going to be apart. Occasionally, we would hold hands at home with family or I would lay with my head in her lap during movie night. I loved Alyssa more than words would describe, there was no doubt in my mind she felt the same. Public affection just made us both very uncomfortable.  

"Why wouldn't I? We live together."

"Wait what? You and Alyssa live together?"

"You didn't know? We weren't hiding it. You know we're together right?"

Kelley looked as if I had grown a second head, "You and Alyssa are dating? No we didn't know that! What the hell Y/n?"

Alyssa's hand touched my lower back, letting me know she was there before dropping back to her side. "What's happening here? Why is there yelling?"

"Apparently they're just finding out we live together and have been together for the last almost 5 years."

"5 years?!? And you didn't tell us?"

Even Alyssa looked confused at this point, "What do you mean didn't tell you? It was never hidden. We assumed you knew."

Accusatory glares were sent our way while Alyssa and I just stood there confused. This was not how I expected my morning to go. "You've never kissed, held hands, cuddled or done anything remotely couple like. How were we supposed to know?"

"We've held hands a few times and I sleep against her on the bus sometimes. I get her coffee and breakfast every morning, Alyssa gets me flowers every week even at camp. Pretty sure we've mentioned our anniversary before. We say 'I love you' to each other all the time. Did none of you find that weird?"

"You're always sitting next to each other on the bus so no and we just figured you were close friends or something. I think there's been one time that you've gotten flowers from her in front of us."

"I've seen that a few times actually, but its always when she seems to have a bad day," Tierna spoke up. 

Alyssa shrugged, "Well yeah, I get them every week, but if she's having a bad day then I'll get them on that day to cheer her up. Look, we just don't like PDA, we weren't hiding anything from you. We really thought you knew about us. And before you even ask, no we're not going to prove it. Now we're going to our room."

As soon as we entered our room, I flopped down on the bed, scooting over slightly when Alyssa lay down next to me. I pushed myself into her arms, leaving kisses on her jaw, her hand slipping under my shirt to draw random patterns. "You unpacked my stuff."

Alyssa held me closer, kissing my forehead. People held the impression that Alyssa disliked physical touch, which she did with most people. In reality, Alyssa loved cuddling with me, she loved holding my hand and kissing me. Just touching in general actually. When we first started dating, it was a welcome surprise. I expected some affection, but not as much as I received. There was definitely no complaints from me, I loved cuddling with my partners. "I always do, don't I?"

"You do and I appreciate it, but you don-"

She cut me off with a quick peck before speaking up not giving me the chance, "My love, how many times have you said I don't have to, yet I do it anyway?"

"Pretty much every camp," I mumbled against her neck, knowing what her response was going to be. It was always the same.

"Exactly. I do it because I love you and I want to make your day a little bit easier so how about you just accept it and let me do it."

It wasn't that I didn't like it, in fact I loved that she did it. I just always felt slightly bad when people did things for me. "Fine. I still can't believe they didn't know about us. I really thought they did."

"So did I. Maybe they just don't listen to us at all. It was all kind of entertaining though."

"It was, I can't believe they were so clueless. I have a feeling Emily is going to be annoying though. She had her mischief face on."

Alyssa's hand traveled further up my side as she rolled on top of me, "Unfortunately, I think you're right, but right now there are other things I would rather do than talk about Emily."

---

Just as I sat down for breakfast, Emily and Kelley slid onto the chairs in front of me. They just stared at me until I snapped, asking what they wanted. This was not what I needed early in the morning especially when I had only been awake for like half an hour. Alyssa was always down for breakfast after me, preferring to take her time to get ready and do her puzzles, while I just wanted coffee. 

"So you and Alyssa are together right?"

"Uh yeah, why?"

"Just checking. How long have you been together?"

"Almost 5 years."

"How did you meet?"

I looked at between Emily and Kelley, trying to figure out why I was being interrogated once again, about my relationship. At this point, I was pretty sure the team believed we were lying or something. "You know this already."

"We forgot."

Alyssa approached, giving me a quick smile which I returned, "Perfect timing. I'm being interrogated about our relationship again."

"Why?"

I shrugged, pushing Alyssa's breakfast in front of her receiving a quite thank you. I didn't answer Kelley's question, instead deciding to eat breakfast before it got cold. "Are you two being forced to be together?"

Both of our heads shot up at that. It was such a ridiculous question. There would be no logical reason for us to be pretending to be together especially considering we weren't public knowledge. I bit back my laugh before answering, "What? What makes you think that? Why would that be a thing?"

Emily shrugged, "You just don't seem to like each other like that."

"Go away Kelley," Alyssa mumbled before going back to her breakfast. I ignored her again, getting up for Alyssa's coffee instead. When I returned, Kelley and Emily were still there, giving Alyssa a suspicious look. I handed Alyssa the cup before sitting down again.

"Thank you love."

Emily narrowed her eyes at us, "Suspicious."

Alyssa rolled her eyes while I flipped Emily off. This whole thing was starting to get old. "Go eat your breakfast."

Later that day, we were back in our room, enjoying the time we had before practice. Alyssa was reading, while I lay in the sun on the balcony. I started to want cuddles. I wouldn't say I was clingy because it was true. We could spend hours doing completely different things. Sometimes though, I just craved touching or being held by her. I gave her a few minutes before calling out to her, knowing she would come to me without hesitation.

Alyssa groaned, but got up, slipped off her shirt and sat down behind me with my head in her lap. We met in the middle, lips connecting briefly before I wiggled around to get into a better position. Alyssa eyebrows raised, amusement shining in her eyes, "Comfortable?"

I smirked, lacing my fingers with hers that rest on my stomach, "Very. Do you like me Lyssa? Is someone forcing you to date me?"

"Not even a little bit. Don't you know I'm only with you for your body?" 

"That's what I thought. Maybe I should confess that I'm only with you for your abs."

She smirked at my response, "I had my suspicions. You're obsessed."

"Not my fault they're great abs."

Fingers ran through my hair as Alyssa leant down to kiss my forehead, "You know I love you right Y/n/n? I don't want you to ever doubt that because I don't show you affection in public."

"You know how I feel about PDA, I don't like it, I never have. I have never once doubted your love for me Alyssa and I hope you haven't doubted mine. I love you."

"Good. I have never doubted your love either."

---

Anger and worry coursed through me when I saw Alyssa go down. It was always my worst fear during games, but it didn't really happen during practice. I know we got competitive, there was no reason for it to happen during practice though. I ran up, kneeling beside her, hand grabbing hers, "Are you okay Lys?"

"This ones going to hurt," Alyssa winced, but quickly grabbed my arm when I turned to Rose who had taken her out. "Hey, it's not her fault, it was an accident. Go see if she's okay and be nice."

I took a breath to calm myself down before walking up to Rose. Rose started fidgeting nervously as I walked up to her, "Hey, are you okay Rose?"

"Y-yeah. S-sorry"

I hugged her, feeling her relax against me. Hugs weren't necessarily my favourite thing except when it was with Alyssa, but I knew Rose liked them and I didn't want her to feel bad. It wasn't actually her fault. "Rosie, it was an accident. Don't beat yourself up because of it, but maybe don't make a habit of taking out out keeper during practice, we kinda need her."

---

"You guys coming to dinner?"

"Uh yeah, just going to drop our stuff off."

Once we were in our room, Alyssa sat on the edge of the bed as I knelt behind her, arms wrapping around her shoulders loosely. She lent back against me with a sigh, kissing my hand. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Think my shoulder might bruise, but I'm okay hun. Don't worry so much."

I lift her shirt over her head, lips meeting the spot that was already starting to bruise then moving around to her neck, cheek and lips, "You know I can't help worrying about you, even if it's a bit ridiculous."

Alyssa turned around, pushing me back and hovering over me, "Well, I'm the same so I can't really say anything. I love you Y/n/n."

I looped my arm around the back of her neck, pulling her down so I could peck her lips, "I love you Lys, but you need to get off cause we need to go down for dinner."

She rolled off me with one final kiss before standing up, "Fine."

"Shirt."

---

My eyes fluttered open to the feeling of lips being pressed to every part of my face and neck. I giggled, arms wrapping around her neck to bring her lips to mine. You wouldn't guess it, but Alyssa always kissed me softly, as if I was something precious. It honestly drove me crazy. 

Alyssa pulled away slowly, grin plastered across her face, "Happy anniversary love."

My grin matched her, as I pecked her lips, "Happy anniversary Lys. I love you."

We spent a little longer in bed than usual, lazy kisses and cuddles shared before reluctantly dragging our selves out of bed and into the shower. Unfortunately, we had training today so we couldn't give in to the clear desires we both had, instead rushing through the shower and downstairs before there was anymore temptation and we ended up late. 

Alyssa and I were discussing dinner plans when we walked into the meal room. We never went out on our anniversary, always staying in and just being with each other in the comfort of our own home. This year was different because we were in a hotel, but we would make do. Just as we sat down, Kelley sat across from us, our conversation ending as we waited for her to say something. "Do you guys even like each other? I mean you guys just seem so indifferent around each other, sure you talk and even joke around sometimes, but it's no different then if you were talking to team mates, we've never heard you talk about anything remotely relationship like."

My arm rest on the back of Alyssa's chair, playing with the baby hairs at the base of her neck. That wasn't a usual occurrence, but it was our anniversary. I was feeling a mix of different, slightly overwhelming emotions from love to happiness, and nerves from the fact I was proposing tonight. I just wanted to be close to her right now and the usual leg against mine wasn't enough. Alyssa must have sensed it because her hand rest on my thigh under the table, squeezing gently as I spoke, "Of course we do. We were literally just talking about our plans tonight for our anniversary."

"That was talk about your anniversary? It sounded like you were talking about grocery shopping."

"We were, but in relation to our anniversary."

"So what are you going to do for your anniversary?"

"Chill out in our hotel room. We never do anything big."

"Yeah okay. That tracks with the appearance of your relationship."

Alyssa had gone back to our room after training while I had gone to the store to pick up a few snacks to sneak in and some flowers for her. She always got me flowers so I wanted to return the favour for once. We were planning on ordering in and watching movies before likely ending the night doing inappropriate cuddling.  It was our favourite way to spend our anniversaries. Thankfully, we had an off day tomorrow so we could get away with it. 

After placing the bag down on the table, I called out for Alyssa, getting a response from the bathroom almost instantly. My arms wrapped around Alyssa when she emerged from the bathroom, leaving a lingering kiss against her lips. Her eyes dropped down to the bouquet in my hand, a small smile appearing. "This isn't your actual gift, but you always get me flowers so I thought it was my turn. Your gift is running late."

"They're beautiful, thank you Y/n/n. You know you didn't have to get me anything."

"I know, but you also always get me something despite me saying the same thing, therefore shut up."

Alyssa laughed, pushing me away gently and taking the flowers, "You speak to me so romantically my love."

I pulled her back into me, peppering her face with kisses, "I love you."

"I love you. I ordered dinner already, it should be here soon. Also here," Alyssa handed out a small wrapped box. Inside was a gold chain with a small keepers glove attached. It was something I had mentioned wanting, a way to have her close when she wasn't there physically. 

"You remembered. I love it Lys."

"Of course I did."

After a short make out session and dinner, we cuddled up in bed to watch a movie. Maybe 15 minutes had passed before I started getting restless. My focus dropped from the movie, instead playing with Alyssa's fingers. I never was the best at staying still. My mind soon drifted to the pool downstairs, it had been a while since I got to go and the urge was suddenly there.  

When I shifted position once again, Alyssa chuckled and paused the movie, "I've lost you haven't I?"

I grinned up at her, kissing her softly. Alyssa always knew me so well. "Do you want to go swimming? It's late so no one will be around."

Alyssa knew I loved swimming so she agreed pretty easily, after some teasing of course. We made our way down to the pool, both wearing tank tops and shorts. No one was around so it didn't matter what we wore. I jumped straight in, swimming around a bit while Alyssa sat on the edge of the pool. After a few minutes, I swam up between Alyssa's legs resting my arms on them as I lent up connecting our lips in a lingering kiss. 

"Come in."

"It's cold."

"Love, it's a heated pool."

"Okay fine, I just enjoy watching you swim around."

"But, if you come in then we can cuddle, kiss," My hand ran up the inside of her thigh, "Touch."

Alyssa instantly slid into the pool, arm wrapping around me and pulling me against her. "You're a tease."

My hands slipped under her tank top, nails scratching down her back and over her stomach, "It's only teasing if I leave it at that. Just wait until we get ba-"

A loud voice interrupted the moment, annoyance crossing Alyssa's face as she stepped back slightly, but didn't let me go. "Oh my god! They really are together."

I groaned, turning to glare at Emily and Kelley, "Fuck off and stop ruining our anniversary."

Once they were out of sight again, I pulled myself out of the pool, Alyssa rest on my legs as I had done earlier. "What are you doing?" 

I pulled the towel that I had hidden the little black box in closer. Inside was a a plain gold band with a round cut diamond. Alyssa didn't often wear jewelry and she liked simple things so I knew she would love it. "I have something for you."

"You waited until we were at the pool to give it to me?"

"Well it wasn't the original plan, but I got nervous." My fingers laced with hers, Alyssa looking up at me curiously. "Never in my life did I think I would fall for someone as hard or fast as I did with you. From the boring, quiet days at home spent doing housework or errands to the movie nights and dinner dates, I love living life with you. I love the adventures we've had, I love working with you, fuck, I just love being with you Alyssa. I look forward to every new day because I get to do it with you. With you by my side, anything is possible. This is a shit speech, but I'm nervous and you love me anyway."

Alyssa chuckled, tears already forming in her eyes before I revealed the little box. "I love you Alyssa, I love you so much more than I thought possible. I want to live life with you forever. With that being said, Alyssa Naeher will you marry me?"

Arms wrapped around my waist tightly, lips connecting with mine, in a soft, emotional kiss, "Yes, yes I will marry you Y/n."

I slipped the ring on her finger, connecting our lips again. Alyssa pulled away too soon for my liking, reaching for her own towel, pulling out a black box similar to the one I had moments before. Alyssa opened it, revealing a plain rose gold band with three small gems set into it. I soon realised it was both our birth stones and one I wasn't quite sure of. "You beat me to it, but will you marry me Y/n?"

"I suppose I can't say no seeing as I just gave you a ring."

Alyssa laughed, sliding the ring onto my finger before kissing me again. "These are our birthstones, what's this one?"

"When we first started dating."

"I love it, I love you."

A crash from behind us instantly caught our attention. About half the team stood there, sheepish smiles in place and a phone pointed in our direction. Seeing as they were caught, everyone started talking over each other, congratulations being thrown our way. I rolled my eyes, turning back to Alyssa. "Let's get out of here before they surround us. We have celebrating to do."

[toxic3mmy]

Toxic quackity baby trapping us is so hot for some reason

yesss omfg, he would be so so hot at it, too

prompt: alex keeps you for himself

warnings! slight smut!

your boyfriend was nice to you and all but he never met your needs. he was always too busy with work or too tired. those were his excuses for not buying you flowers, taking you out on dates, and especially for disregarding your needs in bed.

but you loved him. he was your first everything. it was just hard because you needed more than just someone being with you. you needed attention and simple pining as if he was still trying to win you over, just like at the start of your relationship.

“he doesn’t deserve you, y/n. you’re too good for him, you know?” your best friend, alex, would often tell you this

alex was your closest friend and any time you needed someone to vent to about your empty relationship, he was there. he held you when your boyfriend made you cry. when you were with alex, he kept your mind off of how badly your relationship was failing.

you began to spend almost all of your time with alex. it’s not like it made any difference to your boyfriend. he didn’t really notice when you were gone.

so you happily would spend nights and even weekends with alex. the two of you were strictly friends.

sometimes, though, you two would smoke a little or even drink a little and the two of you got more touchy. you were comfortable together. you would hold hands and even cuddle a lot.

“i could treat you so much better than that lazy son of a bitch”

“yeah… i know, lexie”

and that’s where that conversation would end. it came up a lot, honestly. and the two of you had had a number of instances where everything would get quiet. the world would stop and it was like the universe would wait for one of you to pluck up the courage to kiss the other.

but that never happened. one of you would awkwardly cough and change the subject and that would be that.

you woke up on this particular rainy spring morning with excitement. you and your boyfriend had been together for three years and today was your anniversary.

your boyfriend had already left for work and so you began to prepare for your wonderful weekend. you cleaned, cooked a huge meal of all his favorites, and even had time to doll yourself up. you were hoping that this could help repair the distance between you two that had been apparent for these last few months.

your front door closed shut and you excitedly went to greet your boyfriend.

“hi! how was work?”

“long… where are you off to?” he asked absentmindedly, only slightly glancing your way

“dont you know what today is?” you frowned

“it’s friday.. thank god. hey, maybe we could catch the basketball game at the bar down the street. i’ll even buy you some girly alcohol drinks, oh and i can invite all the guys!”

“but.. i cooked all your favorite food…” you said quietly

“that’s okay sweetie, you can put it in containers and i’ll eat it throughout the week. while you do that,” he said untying his tie and emptying his pockets, “i’ll go get changed into my jersey”

you held back tears as he left to change out of his work clothes. you sniffled as you thought everything over. he wasn’t even your boyfriend at this point. he treated you like a friend. he forgot your anniversary and you spent your whole month planning a nice weekend full of fun things to do together to celebrate your three years of love.

so much for love, you scoffed

you quickly put on your shoes and got into your car. you drove as fast as you could.

this was the last straw. he no longer felt like a boyfriend to you. you two were practically only roommates.

you wiped your eyes as you parked and walked towards alex’s house. the rain was coming down hard and you realized you were in only a skimpy short dress. but that didn’t matter.

“y/n? whats wrong?” alex said when he opened his front door

you were wet and cold from the spring rain and your makeup was definitely ruined from your crying.

“i need you alex…”

he nodded with an empathetic expression and brought you inside. he wrapped a towel around you as you began to explain what happened between broken sobs.

“i’m so sorry… you never deserved anything like this” he sighed softly

“make me feel better, i need to forget about him” you said with eyes full of lust. you pulled alex to your body, his hips pressed to yours, and hungrily began to kiss him passionately.

“the way you’re looking at me right now… how can i say no?” he said in between kisses,

“i’ll make you forget. i told you for so long that i could treat you better and i meant it. i don’t want you going back to him after tonight, understood?”

a loud mew escaped from your lips as his mouth was immediately mouthing at your wet pussy. he licked you up and down and made sure you felt every second of it.

“just lay down and i’ll take care of you, princesa. i’ll make sure you never leave me for him again” he hungrily had his way with you, eagerly stretching you open with his mouth and fingers. he began to pump his cock and lined himself up at your quivering hole.

as he entered you, you felt loved. his cock inside of you while he panted and planted sweet kisses all over your naked body are what made it easy to completely get lost in him.

he took his time, making sure to focus on you completely. it wasn’t until the two of you came down from your highs that you realized.

“uh… alex?”

“yes?”

“please tell me you wore a condom” you shut your eyes tightly as you already knew the answer to that. you felt his load leaking out of you

“i told you, you’re not leaving me. aren’t you ovulating right now? well, i guess now you’re all mine” he smirked and held you close

he had always showed you the love and care that a boyfriend should. he treated you the way you deserved.

“did you seriously just baby trap me? wow, very mature of you… you’re lucky you’re my best friend and that you’re cute” and wow was it incredibly sexy of alex to remember that you were ovulating…

you didn’t mind that he did this without you knowing. it was kind of sweet, in a sickening way. but hey, who likes being normal?

“i know” he smiled and held you tightly while the two of you fell asleep for the night.

[xxswagcorexx]

Hey do you maybe have any lifesteal fic recs? There’s not a lot of rec lists in this fandom and I’m not sure where to start!

okay so um. i am perhaps the Worst person to go to when it comes to this stuff because. You See,

if you want a more. comprehensible list, my two swagdoons fic recommendations is probably the best place to start (1, 2). i am also going to shout out the nevada series and no bills in the mail since i've seen a few people talk about them on tumblr and i love both of them!

but i have gone through my bookmarks and have complied some fics! all of these fics are complete :)

Sweet Berry Pie by beaningeneraldenial

Clown is a busy assassin with too much experience on him to not attract a lot of potential clients and employers. One contract has him going away on the week of his and Branzy's 2nd anniversary, which Branzy doesn't appreciate much. He knows, however, how to make their anniversary celebration good! He makes a pie… he only adds a bit of gunpowder in it. or: Clown should've left a post-it note on the fridge saying "Do NOT touch, Branzy!" before he left for the week. He regrets it only a little.

Repent, Harlequin by trafficpose

The problem with knowing Clown: suddenly, chaos was an option.

Tunnel Vision by jukeboxtea

Mid is far from a quiet person. But when she’s in battle, she’s deadly silent. (or, a short character study on Midmysticx.)

Wire snare by dogdomesticated

Getting a read on intent. What will kill you first: the toxin or the detonation? A short abstract exploration of Rekrap's character and themes in Lifesteal season 3.

Rollercoaster by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

Branzy compares Clownpierce to a rollercoaster and other shenanigans.

i wouldn't blame you if you turned around by Anonymous

sometimes things don't go the way you want them to. it's a story clown has heard time and time again.

What do you see when you look at the stars? by lovecore_jpg

“..What do you see?” “..What?” Planet paused, a little confused by the question. “Like– when you look out at the stars. What do you.. see? ..Besides stars?” ---------------------- Planet likes to stargaze when everyone else is asleep. This time, somebody joins him.

Olethros by arospecitzsubz (Octaveice)

"Theoretically, the ruin goes before the grace. He'd named his sword for a reason."

Brown Eyes by PacificSeaOtter

Nobody knows what color Clownpierce's eyes are- not until Vitalasy, Subz, and Rek start a bet trying to figure it out. Thus ensues the saga of failed, but hilarious attempts to get Clown's mask off.

and I swear I could slit my throat with your dull knife by Scared_Rodent

Like a frozen lake, Branzy noticed how Ashswag's expressions hardly changed, how nothing he saw surprised him at all. Branzy remembered falling in love, remembering dates by the beach with nothing but his smile. On the deadliest server in the world, Branzy remembered him.

winter in prague; 1618 by whichlights

winter in prague; 1618. tensions are high after the defenestration of multiple catholic officials, and a war will break out not quite two years later. in this time of tensions, a vampire by the name of clownpierce is injured. his friend is there to care for him, at least.

drinks in new york; 1926 by whichlights

drinks in new york; 1926. prohibition has swept across the country, but that doesn't mean the party stops. world class performers, drinks, and more- all at greenwich village, a historical hub of gay activity. clown and redd have holed up in a townhouse in the village, and have been having a wonderful time in new york.

games to play on work break by Felix_J

"A boring place is what it is. Hell." Jaron says, and it might sound a little bitter. Ash gives him a blurry look. "No, why do you look at me like that." They've stopped asking questions, (Jaron knows asking questions is not a good thing, and generally, he doesn't care). "You think, that was such a hot resort, and Satan is the greatest of 'em, you're curious, right."

A man, a squid and a clown walk into an elevator… by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

Branzy is crushing hard on the dutch man he and Chief share their elevator rides with, and he seeks to learn Dutch in order to form a connection with him. Too bad he can speak English. Too bad Chief isn't going to stop Branzy.

Now as the curtains rise up by softnoblade

Maybe next it’ll snow. Maybe the remains of this server will be preserved, frozen under layers and layers of snow and ice. Perhaps, decades from now, some unlucky archaeologist will stumble across the remains of this server, and simultaneously uncover both the preserved remains of war and the immortal beings that had slaughtered them.

def function (singularity): by Anonymous/np13

it's always why did you mess with your player data and you're missing half your data structures and never ‘how was playing with your data. messing with code looked fun was it fun’ (it is, right up until it's not.)

sunsets on powerlines by w_nter

It starts with a broken lightbulb in his hands, or maybe in a forest, or maybe in a cabin tucked deep in the woods. (or: a purpleduo + the darkest minds au)

bona fortuna by sinoptics

The god of chance enjoys a visit to the human realm.

throw a punch by vanivanilla

there’s not much to do in prison, or: planet and jaron have a brief conversation as they reset their hunger

In Moments Alone (In His Office, With Pillows And Tissues) by Clownsplin

Although his outward appearances suggest otherwise, Clownpierce's moments alone are filled with stiff joints, aching muscles, and tear-stained cheeks. He gets small moments throughout the day when his pain lessens, even if by an infinitely small amount.

atlantis by Anonymous

Planet is stuck in a space between life and death, waiting. (A million miles away, Jaron is in the same position. A couple of feet away, Bacon had tried to run. Turns out there's not a lot to do when you can't respawn without being immediately killed)

farewell to the port by Anonymous

The day Branzy becomes a pirate he wakes up on a small island somewhere in the Caribbean, drunk out of his mind and distinctly lacking shoes.  He thinks, somewhat despairingly, that he really should not be gambling again anytime soon.  or, The Golden Age of Piracy, and the situations and decisions that drive people to become outlaws.

lose the battles by Felix_J

"you lost." it states. unless there are any more tricks up planet's sleeve, which there shouldn't be. but planet... is a strange one. "thanks." they say, and that's right, that is a full blown smile. krow still can't figure out exactly how planet's expression works, but this piece shines out, same as his eyes shine. "thank you." planet repeats, like they're not sure krow heard, or do know it can't exactly believe its ears.

Phantom in Your Foyer by arospecitzsubz (Octaveice)

Half the damn crowd had been cheering.

Kiss me in the corridor, but quick to tell me goodbye (You say that you're no good for me) by Mx_Artemis

Ash is no stranger to evil, nor is he a stranger to ClownPierce. Honestly, is it such a crime that he wants to catch up with him?

The immortal and his assassin by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

He opened the door without any theatrics, no slow creak open or dramatic swing wide, he simply opened it like he was an old friend visiting a familiar face. And- Hold up, that is a familiar face. The soon-to-be-dead man was sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes shut as he slowly sipped at his cup of tea. He opened his eyes lazily, half-lidded gaze settling on Clown’s face in a way that made him feel as if he had been drenched in freezing cold water. Because he had killed his man before.

no hard feelings by sinoptics

“Hey, Redd,” Clown starts as he reaches Redd, voice ever so slightly out of breath, and then he pauses awkwardly. “So.” “So?” Redd repeats, confused as to where this is going to go. “Our arrangement is off. From now on.” Clown states. What the fuck.

or; the fic in which Clownpierce fumbles not one but two bad bitches

anything you say can and will be held against you by Felix_J

It's funny to see how Red tries to process the little things and guess if they belong to Ash, or Ash's persona that doesn't differ from him as much as he thinks, or maybe much more so, or just things Ash makes up. Ash likes to add a lot to the last pile. Poke around, like a little challenge, reminder he's not all that easy. Currently, with the fucking fish. roses and smoke week, day 6: aquarium | fantasy

For that star trapped in your chest by dogdomesticated

Thunderclouds. Stuck waiting around for Vitalasy to show up, Subz goes down a line of thinking he's been avoiding, and by then it's too late. Something about trust, something about defining what you can't see. Light, and where to find it.

The Boy and The Forest by BearAndHoney

As the tale goes there is a boy who wants to be king adn loved. And as the tale goes there is a forest full of mysteries that one else has been brave enough to explore.

the fox's young master by Felix_J

He finds a fox in the forest, dark fur-broken leg, and it reminds him, as it always does. He takes it home to fix it up, and it doesn't matter if it's just a mindless creature, if. To pass its time, he tells it a story. roses and smoke week, day 3: myths | gods

foreguess by Felix_J

I'd never go on dates just like that, after being married so long, you know that, Ash? Red'd move his head on the seat, and he wouldn't be able to see his eyes through the sunglasses. What's even the point of that kinda date? He would continue, not really ask, because of course he has to poke and argue, it always goes in a loop. Even though he knows, and he agrees with Ash. Thanks, Red, Ash'd answer and break it, because there'd be something in his stomach that's so soft, there is. roses and smoke week, day 2: swap | horror

predictable shows by Felix_J

"I'm rewatching the footage for the auditions, yeah." Red nods, slack. He considers picking the remote from his hands to push unpause, but doesn't think Ash won't find it a serious offence and make it end up on the floor in a corner at all. or, "one of them is lying" boosfer + swagdoons swap. roses and smoke week, day 2: swap | horror

The Mourner by Anonymous

The mourner stands in the open, partially hidden in the smoke. Holding out a bouquet of roses as they wait for their loved on to return.

Case #091413 - Always Bet On Red by orphan_account

Case #091413 Statement of… Branzy? No last name given apparently, about a relationship of unclear nature with someone only known as “Clown”. Dated September 13th 2014, recorded by Zachery Prince at the Institute Cordum.

little comforts by sinoptics

He turns to Vitalasy then, who’s tending a pot on the stove. “Hey, uh,” He starts, and Vitalasy makes a hum of acknowledgement. “Zam could probably use some affection.”

Mutual Hell by Kappuccinokat

Mapicc exhaled, frustrated, and stood up, walking over to the empty window. Zam tried not to relax too much. “I’m assuming this is hell, then.” He drummed his fingers on the window sill. “That’s what I gathered, yeah.” — Or; Zam had lost it all, and now as he awaits his fate in hell, a familiar face threatens to break his resolve.

Homemade Headache Cures by ros_is_writing

“Vitalasy,” Subz announced. “I can’t fucking see, and it fucking hurts.” He emphasized his point by knocking his head against Vitalasy’s shoulder, the metal of his armor hurt slightly. Vitalasy made another sympathetic noise in the back of his throat and bumped his chin to Subz’s head. Normally their head bumps were comforting to Subz, but now they just made his head hurt worse. Damn these fucking glasses.

Siren's Song by KingdomKey

The Phantoms are a renowned pirate crew who sail the seven seas. Their ship comes across a rocky island, and as they carefully traverse it, they come upon a strange creature. It certainly isn't friendly.

sweet dreams i'll always share with you by Anonymous/cutthesky

Red can transform into a plush version of himself (a big Minidoons). Shenanigans ensue one day as Ash and Red wait to fall asleep.

Cut it Out by Anonymous

He always had Ro and his knife, didn't he?

Lifesteal > Eastside > Create a Posting by bloodynocturne (avoxutopia)

Craigslist has always been an odd place, a collection of people in the same place; selling, buying, searching, looking to give or take something. And sometimes, there's small connections. People searching for each other in a circle, narrowly missing one another every time.

Southbound by ros_is_writing

“We could always use the above ground station,” Planet said in the same tone of voice that they used before. Nonchalant, bored even. Like they hadn’t just suggested an actual crime. “No.” Bacon said immediately. “That’s illegal.” “What’s illegal?” Jaron asked.

Poopies' Fun Day in the Hypixel Pit by rainy_writez

With the end of Lifesteal season 4, Poopies the endermite (who is still here somehow because it defies the mere concept of law) has become restless. So Spoke takes it to the Hypixel Pit for a fun day of incomprehensible violence. Surprisingly, Poopies ends up leaving with a new friend… or maybe more?

losing by B0LTZ

take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong

see with your two eyes by Felix_J

He's not a god, because the flag Red sails under doesn't believe in gods. And then he's wrong. In the reasoning, not the other thing.

carry me to tomorrow by Anonymous

Ash chooses to trust himself to the unwavering night.

mixed media: flesh, electricity, bone by Anonymous

“Do you think we’re friends in other universes too?”

(hello) my old heart by Anonymous

What he doesn’t ask is why Ash chooses, over and over, to step through that door, through Lifesteal and Earthbound and the wastelands of an apocalypse. The void knows how many other worlds they’ve followed each other through without a second thought.

fun activities to do with the person you're stuck under house arrest with by oneirogen

Open heart surgery doesn’t even rank up high in the number of weird shit he’s done on this server. Maybe approaching the top tens, if he's being generous.

smile for the camera (repeat and do it over) by gin (tabanthas)

You’re an ally and an enigma at the best of times. At the worst, you are a challenge. You are never, never a friend. OR: rek and his trust issues <3

divine intervention by Anonymous

"If we went through this all again," he says, and it sounds so far away. "Would we still find each other?" (Less than a metre away, Jaron stares at the sky. To his side, Bacon looks at the rubble by their feet. Even when you know it's coming, the end still feels like a loss you can't prepare for)

a parting of clouds by genesis_frog

What do you say, after all of that? Subz and Zam's first conversation after the sign room.

there will be darkness again by genesis_frog

Zam has been in the Eclipse Federation nearly a month now. Subz is getting more and more obvious by the day. Vitalasy steps in.

let me hold it lightly by genesis_frog

It’s a quiet life, outside the world border, but it’s one Zam and Subz have made for themselves.

to the previous respondee: by orioncataclysmic

IMAGE: more bolded comic sans. This time, it’s held up by washi tape, patterned with dicks. It reads: i like war and death and asthma attacks and if you don’t you’re a bitch and your moms a hoe OR: a battle of wits, told through an apartment corkboard, messages between Zam and Mapicc, and glimpses into Mapicc and Bacon's lives

Steam Heart by enderpearlnecklace

After sneaking onto an airship full of pirates, Branzy tries to find a way to escape.

Dear Diary: Today, I killed someone by Fey_wilde

Squiddo prides herself on her excellent memory. It’s one of her only positive attributes, one she can count on in nearly every situation. In just a blink of the eye, she can recall a story, an adventure. Every single bit of data crams itself into her head, sorting into neat piles, ones she can sift through with speed and efficiency. Mobs, history, abandoned places, extinct worlds, glitches, she knows them all. Her memory never fails. Yet, no matter how hard she tries, no matter how many hours she spends lying awake, unseeing eyes staring at the ceiling of her makeshift base, she just can’t remember why. Why did I join Lifesteal?

New Years Eve by Nox_aMillion

Going to the roof was a tradition the two of them had for New Years because apparently they liked extreme parkour off a roof while fireworks actively went off. Or the privacy was nice. Something like that.

Halloween Night by Nox_aMillion

Honestly they had done everything else there was to do on Halloween at this point. They were even dressed in repeat costumes, Red as a demon and Ash as a vampire. (Yes they could be more creative but any costume was a costume.) The two had been coming back from a fear farm when Red mentioned that there was a party at this house tonight. It was nearly two in the morning by the time they got here but the party was still going strong. Parties in houses like this didn’t end until the police got there.

[subwaytostardew]

Update: One year on the tracks!

It's been a year (and a week) since we first started working on this mod! April 25th is when I first started working on this project! Terrible timing since that's literally the day before my birthday and I'm too busy to make anniversary updates the day of. Thank you everyone following this mod despite how slow we chug along!

If you see the first ever post Thylak did over on his main - you will just see my little comments discovering his work and instantly being like

*Fast excited ADHD typing* I GOT IDEAS.

Rest is history....

We've been hard at work trying to get the mod complete enough for a (still unfinished...) release! It won't have everything we have planned (marriage events, Elesa events, platonic route, roommateable Cilan, etc.) because it would take forever otherwise (we keep getting ideas for additions...)

So many ideas. Sometimes we have to dial it back...... The amount of times events had to be cut down for concision... and we still struggle to keep them under 8 minutes...

1.6 broke a lot, so sorry for the delay in updates! (WHY CA WHY!) We've been having to do a lot of backtracking and behind-the-scenes work. (SO MUCH BACKTRACKING) Pretty much every event broke. I have to resprite all the portraits to match the vanilla-size because HD Portraits is still not updated. The schedules need fixing.

But despite all of that, the station bundles are done! We also redid the house exterior for submas because it was ugly. I did not know how to do pixel art a year ago. Nor did I know how to decorate maps. They have a whole new area off to the side of the Railroad now!

We hot potatoed that map so much. First Thylak would work on it. Then I did. Then back to him...

Still need to get around to adjusting their schedules to switch their coordinates to the new map when they're working on the Railroad. Previously, they were just pacing around in the various empty areas of the Railroad. Now they have trains.

The house itself was actually two different structures with a seperate clock tower but then we decided it looked better overlapping the bit of roof peeking out. It's much less flat now.

Submas have a mailbox that adheres to Stardew's perspective.

No longer is the house a cardboard cut out with shading and lighting. LOL (I didn't know how to sprite buildings!!! I put all my effort into Emmet's walk cycle!)

Also speaking of mail boxes... since it been a year; I'm sure all ya'll are curious to how we do our modding, story, etc. We encourage you to hit the mail car button and ask away (so many of you already have) But since it's been a year. Go Crazy.

But I will nip the common asks tho.

Some Common Asks.

"Is this mod SVE (Stardew Valley Expanded) Compatible?"

No.... Unfortunately due to the complexity of both mods. (Ours due to railroad being used. And SVE already expanding on a bunch of stuff) It will just be compatible with vanilla and any mods that does not replace or edit the railroad (majorly).

We did move submas's house over to the side so it won't overlap the farm it adds or impede any space that you want to use the Railroad's empty spots of land for, but it's still very much a "play at your own risk" type of thing. I'm not familiar enough with SVE to code compatibility for it (not familiar at all actually... I don't play the game enough! All my time is spent working on the mod! All I do is stare at google docs and type walls of text! I'm not interested in SVE anyways for personal reasons.)

SVE is infamous in the modding scene since it changes pretty much every map and steps on other mods with incompatibility. I don't want to deal with making two seperate events with the coordinates/movements edited for compatibility. It should be compatible with most other expansion mods like Ridgeside Village or East Scarp since they mostly keep to their seperate areas and not edit things unless necessary (like submas do now)! SVE changes too much to gurantee compatibility and for the sake of my sanity I won't provide it. If it works, great. If it doesn't, pick and choose for that save.

So.. SVE and our mod. Incompatible....

"Release Date?"

Unfortunately it is still undetermined! (Due to our busy schedules.)

(For example - I myself work 2 jobs and currently going through a lot of chaotic life stressors.....)

However, we will make a progress post soon about how much left on our list where we are satisfied with moving onto the next stage of our mod which is.

There's actually not much new content planned until we're ready for initial release, we mostly have a lot of behind the scenes cleanup and backtracking. I still have portraits to do (I took a break... switched off to mapping). Event-wise I want Emmet's 10 heart event to be done and a few station/side events we have in the drafts. We'll need more festival dialogue (since... they don't show up unless if I have stuff for year two for some reason). After that, we get into more fun stuff! Patches!

PATCHES! Oh we love a good mod patch! And we have a lot planned. Meaning there's still more ahead on the tracks!

"Are they romancable?"

Yes. Yes they are. HOWEVER! WE DO SEE YOU AROACE COMMUNITY! And we will be making a route that will be planned in the next comming phase to make them platonic relations as well!

It's the first stop on our intinerary! We'll release the platonic route alongside the marriage event update so there's something for everyone.

We are just following vanilla format at the moment as it is easier coding wise. And also a good place to start planning where the branches are going to happen. Making roomates is a bit more complex... I have to make a custom item for "proposal" much like the void pendant.

I think that covers the common asks... OH!

Also! Since we have released the Joltik Adoption aspect as a separate mod as well as a little fun tease (And test run) - before we actually drop Subway to Stardew. So sorry the event didn't work at first! I was testing on the main expansion mod. Should be fixed now!

We recommended that if you find any JOLTIKS. Scurrying around. Causing trouble. (Aka Bugs.) Please send in an ask! Or head over to Nexus to drop a bug report! It will help iron out some things that we may not be aware about before release!

And when we do release we HIGHLY encourage the bug reports cause it's just two of us... <_< and those Joltiks get into everything! (Doesn't help that THYLAK KEEPS THROWING THEM EVERYWHERE! I find them in my paperwork... and Atwood's bedding.... My poor Phantump. He can't catch a wink without a Joltik scurrying all over the place!)

It's just me doing all the coding (All. Of. It.) so I hope you all can continue to be patient while I work on things! Sorry if I miss some things! We probably won't playtest too extensively before the initial release, so please do report any bugs you find then!

▷ Station Steward Thylak

[usmsgutterson]

so, it’s probably nothing, but it’s been on my mind sometime and I can’t let it go- hug prompts! The link for those is here, and again, you can send in as many combinations as you want!

pin hawthorne with 2, 3, and 4??

Spring- Pin Hawthorne x gn! reader

okay, thank you for sending this in! I haven't written for Pin in almost six months and I missed it a lot more than I thought lol. The prompts you sent in are as listed below:

slowdancing that’s actually just a hug with swaying involved, hugs that last a long time, and “It’s been a while,” hugs

fic type- fluff

warnings- mentions of flooding and power outages in relation to snow and rainstorms, mentions of icy roads/ground also in relation to snow and rainstorms

You’d always loved it when spring graced the island, though you weren't shy of admitting your disdain for the lethal weather that late winter and early spring often brought along.  

During winter, the stables were in a relatively consistent state of snow and cold weather from September through to the last week of March. Spring always got a late start and, as you’d noticed since you moved to the island at sixteen, winter always liked to overstay its welcome.

Spring weather typically came back around between the last three days of March and the first six days of April, often immediately following a snowstorm so severe that you and Pin would have to check on the horses at least a day in advance. You'd have to get to the stables and make sure that nothing was at risk of breaking with the strength of the wind and that everything was still properly insulated to keep out the worst of the cold.

The last week of March and the first week of April were no different that year. A snowstorm picked up on the twenty-eighth of March and lasted through to the thirtieth, you in yours and Pins loft, Pin staying with his dad due solely to happenstance, as Pin had stopped in for tea and to see how things were with his dad when the snowstorm started unexpectedly. 

On the thirty-first, a rainstorm hit and Pin couldn’t get back to you because of the risk of a power outage due to the wind, coupled with the fact that the snow was melting and turning into ice that made driving or travelling by horse way too risky. 

Pin didn’t get to your loft until the third of April, waiting out the storm--which had only ended on the second, ending on a high note with warnings of icy roads, fallen trees, flooding on the roads and warnings about floods flashing in bright white against bold red on every single news station--in his old room and keeping his dad company, the two of them playing card games when the power went out, drinking cold tea and talking in some feeble effort to pass the time. 

He knew you’d be at the stables with Gabby, Zoe, and Marcus, checking on the horses and feeding them when he saw your text that morning. Instead of telling him to meet you, though, you simply asked him to run a couple of errands in your stead, and so he did.

When he got back to the loft, he’d spent the better part of four hours on his feet. He had a twenty pound bag of cat food for the two and a half year old orange tabby you’d adopted together over one shoulder, a bag with bread, ice cream, sugar and a couple of the sweets you loved in his left hand. 

He put the bag down to unlock the door, proceeded in, fed the cat--who you’d been calling Pumpkin since you’d adopted him--and put the groceries away, happy to simply stand in your kitchen for the first time in nearly a week, a song from an indie band Pin liked playing idly through a bluetooth speaker.

You came into the house fifteen minutes later, not even registering Pins presence at first. 

But then you noticed the striking blue eyes, the obsidian ring that he hadn’t taken off of his ring finger since you got each other promise rings as a three year anniversary present the year before. You saw the black hoodie that Pin always wore during the winter, the one you always stole during the spring, and you almost felt weightless.

“Ran your errands,” he said. “How were the horses?” 

“They were fine,” you said, knowing that the horses and Bright Fields as a whole had slipped from your mind entirely as you walked toward him. “Everything was fine. Nothing took significant damage.” 

Pin pulled you into a hug and felt relief flood every single part of him with the action, felt himself relax as your arms wrapped around him and hugged him as tightly as he’d hugged you. 

You’d been communicating through a combination of facetime and texting for nearly a week, and sure, that was passable, but nothing could ever beat the feeling of your body against his, your lips on his cheek and his lips on your forehead as “I love yous” and “I’ve missed yous” and “it’s been too longs” fell from your lips. 

Somewhere within the depths of it all, Pin had jokingly asked you if you'd like to dance and you'd said yes, pulled him impossibly closer and cherished the warmth his body provided as part of you devised a plan to steal the hoodie he wore.

You knew that he'd likely swap it in favor of a knitted jumper if the heat didn't kick in in the loft by the time that the temperature dropped with nightfall, and you'd simply take it then.

You would press a kiss to his lips when he asked if you'd stolen his hoodie later on, and Pin would roll his eyes as one of his arms wrapped around you and a kiss was dropped onto your cheekbone.

The slow dance you’d begun with him wasn’t really more than a hug with swaying involved, the two of you moving slowly through the kitchen, talking idly and enjoying each others presences after almost a week of not being able to hug or kiss or exist with one another. 

It’d been a while, and that was communicated with the reluctance you had when it came to letting one another go.

Eventually, though, you did. When you checked the time, you found that you and Pin had been holding each other for almost an hour.

The realization made you laugh, contentment flooding through you as Pin pressed a kiss to your jawline, arm around your waist as the two of you moved into the living room. You curled up together on the couch, eventually falling asleep in the comfort of the silence you shared. 

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

My two year anniversary with two of my insys partners was a few weeks ago, and my one year anniversary with my other is coming up! It got me thinking about how much our relationship (all of us are with each other) has evolved and grown, even though at times sharing a body has been a challenge.

As many of you know, we have P-DID. Because I'm the host, that means l've been front-stuck since I formed. I have access to headspace most of the time, but it's made having extremely committed relationships in the system a little difficult. I wanted to share some tips for insys partners!

These should work for systems with front-stuck members or no headspace. (It's worth noting, some of this requires co-fronting, which isn't easy/possible for all systems. These tips have also really helped me with mindfulness, grounding, and mental health and could definitely be modified for self love!

(TW: metions of food)

Some ideas for dates/spending time together

Play video games together

Share meals

Read together

If you feel safe, go places alone with them (ie: the zoo, a festival, etc)

Dance together

Just talk, talk as much as you can

Cook each-other’s favorite meals

Lean on each other

The most important thing we’ve found is communication, understand that there might be times that you wish the relationship was different. It’s okay to acknowledge that it hurts sometimes to not be able to interact in the meatspace. It also proves that you’re worth fighting for, that obviously being with one another is more important than the setbacks. In system relationships can be just as fulfilling as outerworld relationships, but they arguably take more work.

Tell each other everything. Understanding each other better than external partners could is a gift and a huge strength you should capitalize on. It’s also important to really lean into the emotional aspects of your relationships, this really helps foster intimacy.

Remember that you are still fully capable of hurting one another. Despite being in a system together, you still need to nurture your relationship. Things won’t be perfect, and there may be times you have to fight for your relationship.

In system relationships can still be unhealthy, make sure you’re being careful and not allowing mistreatment. If you feel like not being able to escape your headmate may make you allow toxic behavior, you should avoid starting a relationship.

Most of all, have fun, enjoy being together, relax! Insys relationships are absolutely amazing! You are so valid! You can still be “meant to be” even if you share a body.

My partners truly make me so happy, I want to be with them forever, they mean everything to me! I know it can be intimidating to start a relationship with a headmate, and it’s definitely worth asking if you’re truly willing to put an internal relationship first, but it really is the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m so in love, and my babies are worth every sacrifice.

[crystal-lillies]

a rambling retrospective on the last year as a new Critter

So, it's been about a year (a little over) since I fully dipped into the Critical Role fixation.

Last year around this time, we got the other Halloween episode in Whitestone, just before the Mighty Nein Reunited two-parter, and gee, we just got a Halloween episode in Whitestone and we're about to go into a Mighty Nein Reunion this week! And a LIVE show at that, the first one since pre-COVID!

And last year at this time, I was just starting into a work D&D group and I'd just gotten my first set of dice at a renaissance festival, and I'd just bounced around a bunch of compilation videos, several oneshots, and some out-of-context Campaign 2, along with The Legend of Vox Machina season 1. I was just barely dipping my toe into the wider CR + TTRPG world.

So much has happened since then.

Every Thursday since that Halloween in Whitestone last year with Bells Hells, I've been tuning into the stream (despite the ET time difference) and sometimes even making it through all the way (for some exhaustion points that are still worth it). I watched more of the oneshots (the Call of Cthulu one and Nautilus Ark being particular favorites I've seen in 2023). I've also watched a lot more of Campaign 2 and even went back into Campaign 1, bought myself some merch (I'm actually wearing the Hot Topic Ashton shirt, haha), and I got friends into The Legend of Vox Machina before and after Season 2 dropped on Amazon.

I even wrote a little fic when Matt slammed us all with the Apogee Solstice on the 8th anniversary session :)

And, as anyone who's been following me has noticed, I got the Exquisite Exandria cookbook and have been making the recipes from it whenever I can, and that's also been amazing.

Plus, I've watched some Dimension 20 (Mentopolis was incredible and Burrow's End rn is fascinating) and dipped into Worlds Beyond Number thanks to that.

My work D&D group has since dissolved, but I took a leap of faith and I joined a pickup oneshot game of D&D5e in April, and around late June/early July, the DM of that game invited me with a few others to a campaign set in that homebrew world the oneshot was based in.

We started playing at the end of July, and I've been having such a blast. Each session is so much fun and the highlight of any given week we play. I cannot believe I went so long in my life without having D&D until this point, honestly. But I'm so glad I have it now.

All of this to say, a lot has happened in the last year, and I'm so glad to have stumbled into the Critter community and gained knowledge of Critical Role and the wider TTRPG sphere as a whole. The fandom has been so welcoming and supportive in a way I haven't felt from many fandoms in my experience. It feels like it's been more than just a year of being invested in Critical Role, but I suppose that the fervent intensity of the story and the people involved and the genuine excitement in front of and behind the cameras.

I guess, just... thank you for everything. And here's to many more years of Critterdom to come :)

Love y'all very much, and is it Thursday yet?

[veebs-hates-video-games]

I guess while I'm at it I can update my list of things I'm in the middle of and plan to finish or at least play more of. Some of them I've been in the middle of for multiple years, but that's just how it goes sometimes.

Starting with the 3DS:

Radiant Historia is one I really should've finished already a while ago because it's great, but I just keep not being in the right mood for it when I occasionally remember it exists. I really should try to prioritize it though because it's not even that long.

Fire Emblem Fates I guess technically can go here because I'm still pretending I'll do Revelation even though I gave up on finishing the paralogues in Conquest. I might stop pretending at some point though. I like it but don't love it compared to ones like Awakening or Engage, and it's been dragging out over multiple years at this point.

Moving on to the Switch:

Astral Chain is really one I had wanted to finish this year, the same year I started it, but I'm not sure that's happening. I don't like it quite as much as Bayonetta 2, but it's still up there compared to most other Platinum games I've played.

Valkyria Chronicles might just get restarted at some point because I was only an hour or two in before getting sidetracked for like a year or two. Seems pretty promising from what I saw of it though.

And finally PC/Steam Deck:

Wylde Flowers is another one I wanted to finish by the end of the year, and this one might actually happen. Definitely one of my favorite things I've played this year, but I played so much at once I started getting a little burned out, and then my couple week break accidentally turned into four months.

In Stars and Time hasn't quite grabbed me yet, so I've been slacking on it. The first hour or so sure took it's time actually doing anything to draw me in, but it did get significantly more interesting in the next couple hours after that. I just haven't touched it again yet in the couple weeks since then. It's hinted at having enough potential that I should though.

Slay the Princess was supposed to be an October thing, but I somehow managed to start it the day before the announcement of the huge anniversary update, and deciding to wait for that totally killed my momentum. I'll get there when I get there, I guess.

Star Ocean: The Divine Force seemed pretty decent from the first half dozen hours, but I got distracted by other stuff that was more immediately compelling. I'll get back to it during a slower period maybe.

Boyfriend Dungeon is actually something I finished right at launch, but I still haven't gone back and done the extra post-launch stuff they added even though I really liked what they initially released. No idea why I haven't touched it in three years, because it'd only take a few hours.

Tales of Berseria has also been stuck a couple dozen hours in for three years at this point too. It was genuinely a lot of fun though, and I could always use more Magilou being a gremlin. Any day now I'll pick it back up.

And then there's a little stuff that I'm either completely done with or close enough but haven't made posts for yet like Ys X and Halls of Torment (both great).

[diggingupgrave]

Magnificently Cursed... the blog post ✨

🕰🍂🕯🌿📔🧣🌙

My writing log says it’s been exactly a year since I started writing Magnificently Cursed, my Dark Academia Inuokko Magic School AU! I find summer to be insufferable (my apologies to the sun) so I took an escape hatch to an early fall last year and immediately fell down this massive rabbit hole. Not only did I write the whole fic and make overly-intricate graphics for each chapter… I also made a ton of other content that I simply didn’t have enough time to post! (Fall is but one season… unless you’re me, and it’s two, because fuck summer) So as a little anniversary gift to me, I’m going back through the archives and finally putting everything in one place. 

Let’s start with the character mood boards, shall we? 

Toge Inumaki: 

I wanted Toge to have an earthy/natural, vintage-y feel, while Yuuta was all sleek and new. I’m still completely obsessed with this library-lizard aesthetic for Toge.

I low-key wound up buying a brown sweater after searching online for literal hours just like the one in the upper left so we could twin. That duffle coat still has my whole heart. Lavender mug inspired by Neara 🥺

Yuuta Okkotsu:

The lil ghostie patch 😭 I still think Yuuta would look hot as hell in all these clothes- especially the speckle-y fisherman sweater. Coat game is strong here as well. 

... so is it obvious that I spend too much time on Canva yet? 😅

The Timeline: 

My outline wasn’t outlining and I resorted to making an in-world calendar to make sure the dates were realistic. Each chapter is a different color, and the lines represent what days the chapters covered in-world. The corresponding stars represented each chapter’s posting dates… except the real life dates didn’t line up with the fictional dates (rude), so those thursdays were actually saturdays? I think? I'm actually not 100% sure what past me was up to here, to be totally honest 😅

(also, politely ignore that bit that says “epilogue - december” 💀i’ll get to it when i get to it. I don’t really like the idea of it being *over* so maybe i'll just gatekeep that bit forever)

⬆️ Example of aforementioned “outlining,” which, yes, is unfortunately littered with as many potential tweets as actual organization 💀

Not pictured: the outline for the first three chapters… when i thought this fic… would only *be* three chapters. 🪦

Writing Log:

I wrote all 92k between July 13th and September 13th (including 60k in August, nanowrimo style)!

Honestly would love to know what her regimen was because i immediately went back to being slow and undisciplined. I don’t foresee this coming august looking anything like this, lol.

Also, sidenote, hilarious that I took a break to work on it would make a whole in the middle of this? Because I literally just finished that piece this week and posted it today 😅

The Playlist:

Spotify proving that July 13th commitment! If you start a wip without procrastinating and making a playlist for two hours first... did you really start a new wip?

The playlist was three and a half hours and i would listen to it nearly every day, sometimes multiple times in a day 💀. Listen during a rainstorm for peak vibes.

(other favs not pictured: The Butterflly Effect’s cover of “Lay All Your Love on Me,” Sabrina Carpenter’s “Decode,” Liz Longley’s “Rescue My Heart,” and "Nothing's Gonna Happen" by The Staves) 

Bonus:

(fall baking... toge's fav pumpkin muffins of course)

(my toge sweater knockoff)

(editing buddy... clearly working very hard)

(cider donut cider... for the ✨vibes✨)

(obsessively drinking massive pots of harney and son’s victorian london fog tea as i tried to interpret my own bullshit)

(me celebrating actual halloween like i didn't start in july)

.... ANYWAY (if you made it this far 😅) many thanks to anyone who read/kudos/commented/supported this fic, because (if you can't tell already) i had so much fun writing it.

Currently, working on another longfic rn that's also promising to destroy my life... but you never forget your first 😘

[nicohverse]

Entropic Float's One Year Anniversary!

One year ago today- On July 7th, 2022- I released the 300k+ word long visual novel Entropic Float: This World Will Decay and Disappear, at no cost on itch and steam.

(Madeline by @unluckyerror404 on Artfight)

It was a labor of love- I worked on it for just over a year and a half, and my life changed a lot during that time. I got a job related to my degree, then proceeded to crash and burn when it turned out that I couldn't actually manage that job alongside my chronic conditions. Working on Entropic Float was the only thing during that time that really made me happy at all, so it's no surprise I ended up quitting for my health shortly after release...

Since I released Entropic Float, lots of things have happened. I've seen it referred to on reddit as 'the queerest game I've ever played'. I've received wonderful fanart. People have come to me saying that the game helped them realize they were physically disabled. My good friend, the vtuber FreyaFukunaga, played through the entire game on stream. There have of course been bad reviews too, negative feedback- No game can be for everyone, and Entropic Float is a game for some rather specific people. I've taken into account critiques made in good faith, and made efforts to improve these things where possible in updates to the game, and even moreso in the way they will be structured in Entropic Float 2: Land Of The Witch.

But before we talk about Entropic Float 2, which I'm sure you've all been waiting for information on, let me put some concerns to rest. I have, by no means, been doing nothing all this time. EF2 is coming along, though not in ways that are easy to share. Still, have a look-

Admittedly, it's a bit ugly without all the extra buttons, text, and more that will accompany this frame- It's just one small piece of the GUI I've been building. Entropic Float 2 is a big shift in style from the first game- For one, I'm no longer using Koikatsu for talksprites or environments. For another, it's going to be a point and click adventure game (Though the final release will include a 'kinetic novel version' option for those who prefer to play VNs on auto-advance!). You can see it, right? The menu buttons along the right edge, an inventory with tabs you can cycle in the bottom right corner, some information about the current state of the game in the empty space on the left...However, besides EF2, there have been other things I'm working on, and I'll admit to having some trouble finding a good workflow. During EF's development, it was simple enough- In my free time, I did those things which made me money (commissions, convention prep) and when those were done I worked on Entropic Float and did very little else. This workflow can no longer apply, because in the interim year, I've been building my small business, Nico's Fan Niche, on etsy. There are some pieces of Entropic Float merch available there! But the point is, now it seems there is always 'something to do which can make me money', as designing new products has a direct impact on my life now.

Besides the store, I'm also involved in other gamedev projects- I continue to be support staff on Heart Fragment, and am the primary artist of an RPG with a few friends of mine, yet to be formally announced. To top it all off, I do still have a day job. I work 30 hours a week (sometimes up to 39) with a studio called Small Victories. It's a wonderful and fulfilling position that gives me the space I need for personal projects, but that's still 30+ hours of the week not spent on those projects.

(Sharma by Quartoch on Artfight)

Finally- Entropic Float 2 is a loftier game than Entropic Float was. When I started EF, it was just for fun, to play with ren'py, and was never supposed to be as long as it ended up being. EF2 is a followup game. It needs to be bigger, better, and the pressure is on. For this reason, I decided to postpone making the game's art until after July- After Artfight 2023. My username there is nhitori if you want an attack from me! Each year, Artfight represents a huge burst of improvement for me and my artistic abilities. A talksprite drawn in June and a talksprite drawn in August would by nature be very obviously different in quality. I've been writing, outlining, working on GUI, but there hasn't been anything worth sharing on here yet.

Even so, I am very happy to announce- You should be able to expect the Entropic Float 2 Demo, and its Kickstarter, in November 2023!

Enter the Pine Creek Anomaly to discover exactly what happened in the small, Appalachian town several years ago- And why, so suddenly, the Anomaly started to invite outsiders in, after flying under the radar all this time. Kanatsune Ame returns to be guided by the player as he searches for the answers within a new cast of characters; Some familiar faces, some made more familiar after a mention in the Anomalous Clocktower, and some he's never met before at all.

And following shortly after the EF2 Demo and Kickstarter- There's one backer reward that will be fulfilled right away. Releasing in December 2023, right away for backers, just in time for the holidays if you just want to purchase it on its own (For only 5 USD- But if you played Entropic Float because it was free, and you really can't spare the money for any reason, do reach out to me.)

">It's been such a long time... But I've finally found You." (Box by Vanitasium on Artfight)

Quite a while after the stabilization of the Anomalous Clocktower, but not yet when you join Ame in the Pine Creek Anomaly- A voice calls out to you. A voice that is familiar, the voice which spoke directly to you throughout the first game. Informing you of the endings you've acquired. Warning you of what's ahead. Asking if you'd like to bring about the miracle. You never would have imagined that voice belonged to somebody. But it seems... She's gathered a new collection of stories for you. Fragments of those you've met before. Histories you couldn't see at the time, updates from the year since you left them behind. If you can read these stories and become more powerful again, like you did in the Clocktower, then maybe, just maybe... You and Her can meet face to face.

The Letters To A Beloved Ghost DLC for the first game will be arriving in December 2023! Along with the DLC, you'll also be able to install the 'Anachrono Mode' for Entropic Float. This mode replaces koikatsu talksprites with drawn talksprites in any cases where those have been added for DLC content. As the characters may be dressed in different clothing in these talksprites, and there may not be exact analogues for every expression, and the environments will remain koikatsu-style in most if not all places- It promises to be a bit anachronistic. But if the talksprites exist, may as well give you the option to use them!

One last thing- I'll be tabling in the Artist's Colony at Connecticon 2023, though I haven't got a table number yet. I also may be tabling at FANEXPO Boston 2023 (Unconfirmed), and Otakuthon 2023 (Waitlisted, but I'll still be attending as a guest if I don't get a table.) So if any fans reading this wanted to come say hello- There's a few opportunities. I might even have something for you, if you come by my table.

With that, the anniversary update is finished. That's all I've got for you right now- But there's a lot to look forward to! Thank you, as always, for reading, for playing, for being here with me on my gamedev journey.

[yupuffin]

In summer 2016, I got one of the Japanese bookstore's last copies of the KAITO 10th anniversary album Glorious Blue. The whole album is full of BOPS, but I got particularly hooked on Doctor=Funk Beat by nyanyannya. I was super excited to see it slated to be performed at Magical Mirai later that year. I learned the choreography as fast as I could and became, to my knowledge, the first person to publicly upload a dance cover of Doctor=Funk Beat using the Magical Mirai choreography.

Sometime in the next few months, I got hooked on the rest of nyanyannya's discography and decided to subscribe to his Patreon. We got monthly updates and the early release versions of some songs, which was cool! I believe it was in the announcement post for the song Justin⇒Jive⇒Justify in which he included the song lyrics, footnoted with "It'd be cool if I had an English translation!"

So, like the bilingual student I was, I went 🤔🤔🤔, assembled my best attempt at a translation, and stuck it in the comments with "Hey, I wasn't sure if you were serious about wanting an English translation for this, but in case you were and wanted to use one, I gave it a shot!"

I thought this would be a singular instance, but I was wrong! Unexpectedly, this led to us collaborating on quite a bit of translation work for him over the years, including captions for his music videos back when community captions on YouTube were a thing. It was a really cool experience. I remember consulting one of my housemates, an exchange student from Japan, to help me proofread my responses to the messages we exchanged. Once nyanyannya started to get into Vtubing, I learned how to make subtitle files from scratch to match the skit videos he'd send me so he could upload them with the final product. Most of those videos have sadly been unlisted now, but I have fond memories of his avatar's antics, and many of the one-liners still live in my head rent-free despite the defunct source material.

The cozy fandom for his body of musical work "the Namari Hime series" was led by a dedicated user who'd host regular drawing chats -- the kind where everyone doodles on the same canvas while voice chatting. Every few weeks or months I'd get to wake up ridiculously early to discuss new song releases and favorite characters with a bunch fellow fans from the other side of the Pacific Ocean, and nyanyannya even joined in himself on a couple of occasions. He laughed at the cleverness of me posting a photo in cosplay of one of his characters "Cash" gesturing dramatically at an ATM. He rightly proclaimed our little corner of the Internet a "super cool fandom."

For a while, we had an unofficial Discord server for the worldwide English-speaking sector of the fandom as well. It's probably still out there, actually! It was really cool to see how the fandom grew over the years from just a couple of people to at least several dozen, if not more.

Shortly after protests broke out across the United States in 2020, I woke up to a message from nyanyannya saying he'd seen the news about what was happening on my side of the pond and wanted to ask if I was okay. It was really touching.

I followed his work less closely after he officially started Vtubing, just because, as a college student, I didn't have the spare time to watch a large quantity of ~3-hour-long videos. And a couple of years ago, I stopped financially supporting him after he started experimenting with generative AI to make YouTube thumbnail images and singing samples.

But we still follow each other on Twitter--even though he posts mostly about Vtubing now, and I mostly post about Hoyoverse games and not Namari Hime. I still see the selfies he posts on Instagram from time to time. And I'm still mutuals with a lot of the previous fandom members, too, even though a lot of them are less active and we don't speak directly basically at all anymore.

nyanyannya's song Fräulein=Biblioteka is featured in the ongoing MIKU EXPO North America tour. nyanyannya is not a mainstream musician. In fact, he deliberately quit mainstream music production before he wrote Namari Hime because of the toll it was taking on his mental and physical health, and turned instead to Vocaloid as tool to help him express his individuality, instead of whatever would be the most commercially successful.

Well, that's just one example. There's plenty more.

KIRA, the producer who wrote the featured song "Highlight," is younger than I am by several years. He wrote the lyrics to another one of his hit songs, "MONSTER," when he was sixteen, and almost scrapped it because he thought nobody would like it. Now a song he wrote played at COACHELLA and he's over the moon.

Utsu-P, behind "Hyper Reality Show," is experiencing similar feelings, as he never would have dreamed of one of his songs featuring at Coachella back when his parents bought him Hatsune Miku with graduation money.

yukkedoluce is another of my favorite Vocaloid producers. He grew up wanting to be an astronaut, but didn't qualify because his eyesight was too poor -- so now he lives his dream in a different form by writing Miku songs about space.

At one of the side events at MIKU EXPO 2018, my siblings and I happened to sit next to a Vocaloid producer named Lystrialle who specializes in making contemporary folk music featuring MEIKO and KAITO. I looked up her music after the expo; her album "You, in the Endless Starlight" almost literally defined my sexuality (or lack thereof), and my Genshin Impact AU is named after some of her lyrics. She runs a Mastodon instance for Vocaloid fans.

What I'm trying to say is... there are Vocaloid producers who might be more comparable to mainstream producers, and there are musicians who started with Vocaloid work and eventually transitioned to more mainstream work. But there's also an endless list of Vocaloid producers who make little to no money off their work and hence are far from major corporate entities.

Individuality and collaboration is at the heart of Vocaloids like Hatsune Miku. Miku is primarily a tool to give musicians the power to create the music they want, not to make a highly successful commercial product. I've given an entire hour-long panel on this that convention attendees still remember ten years later, but that's a lot to put into a post that's already long enough, so I'll spare you the details for now.

Vocaloid was one of my first fandoms back in 2011. I got into cosplay and dance because of Vocaloid. Now I'm heavily involved in my local cosplay performance scene, both in terms of participating in events and helping organize them.

How does that phrase go? Do not recite the magic to me; I was there when it was written.

Don't spread misinformation that Vocaloid producers don't care about people's feelings because all they care about is making a commercial Product(tm).

Instead, please fuck all the way off.

[bashfulgnome]

10 Years of Wrecking, Week 5 – Overflow

10 Years of Wrecking

Week 5 (Nov. 26 - Dec. 2): Free Week

My friend @cr1ms0nlord shared some lovely art with me and asked if I could write a fic based on the same concept (thanks for the idea buddy!). Well, what better time to release it than on the final day of 10 Years of Wrecking?

The fic is under the cut, but I would also like to thank everyone who participated in this month-long celebration and shared their WIR art, stories, and thoughts with the fandom for the anniversary. I'll continue reblogging any more contributions that I've missed and you're free to keep creating whenever you'd like (believe me, I take a really long time to make fanworks) but a big thank you to all participants and all of my wonderful friends I've made in this fandom. You've made these past 10 years amazing and I'm so glad we've met and bonded over this awesome movie. I hope to have many more good times with you all in the future!

She'd just about finished her ramen, but he hadn’t even noticed. 

The cool early-evening breeze in the shady outdoor patio ruffled the awnings of the shops and hotels along the main street in Extreme EZ Livin' 2. Felix had told her when she met up with him that it might be a little chilly, and insisted on lending her one of his shirts for an extra layer over her tank top just in case. The little button-down uniform wasn't exactly a comfortable fit, but the thought alone warmed her up just fine. It was pretty cute that he’d forgotten the height difference, too.

Tamora watched Felix struggling with the noodles, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, clearly unaccustomed to this kind of utensil. The chopsticks were smooth and free of splinters (a testament to the quality of the restaurant) but this didn't exactly help him grip his food. He'd spent the entire meal trying to make sure everything went perfectly. She was accustomed to chaos and disappointment–surely nothing could've SNAFU'd a lunch date that badly–but he seemed hyperfocused on making sure he didn't spill anything, or splash any hot broth, or make any noises.

Watching his consideration in overdrive merged affection and pity, how he cared about doing his best for her so much that he suppressed his little quirks and nervous habits. Not that it could've have been possible for him to even do anything in this situation that would drive her off; even when Felix was completely out of his element he always meant well.

It was something that attracted her to him, that even this early on in their relationship he tried so hard and valued what they had started building so much, but she couldn't help feeling that she was killing him somehow. Sprites passing through Game Central and hiding fearful glances, making a hole at her approach...did he sometimes see her that way too? Was he just better at hiding it?

If she stayed too long, would she erode what made him...him? The sweetness, patience, loyalty–how could he stay in one piece? He was used to such a simple life; how could she be anything other than too much? 

Tamora felt her own grip on her wrist tighten. The thought that eventually he'd be disappointed–or worse, hurt–if he got into this any deeper...burned and scratched inside her head. Just looking at him, a tenderness welled inside her chest that compelled her to keep Felix safe, to make sure his happiness wasn't wasted. She couldn't deny her own feelings for him of course, but he'd fallen hard and fast, riding higher than a past-midnight BurgerTime customer. Whatever image he had of her would have to shatter under its own weight eventually, in spite of them both. 

And still, what she’d been through tore at the scars whenever they had started to close, the cuts even deeper with the knowledge that it technically wasn't "real", never had been. That barrier was invisible but solid as any boundary at the edge of the map. It amazed her that the warmth he radiated was even able to pass through that wall, or that she'd turned out to be capable of sending any of her own back out towards him.

Maybe she was healing, the wounds opening less often and closing a little more tightly and quickly each time. Whether it was at his expense she couldn't tell.

Chancing a peek over at Felix, she noticed his cheeks had flushed from the heat of the dish. He lifted his head from the bowl, looked around, and made eye contact with her as he became reacquainted with his surroundings. 

"Still hot?"

His face went blank for a moment before he answered with a delayed startle.

"Oh yes ma'am...the ramen! The ramen's still pipin' hot! Had to take a break or I would've steamed my face right off!"

The corners of her mouth quirked into an unguarded smile. She could listen to that voice read a technical manual.

In a fit of nervous laughter Felix glanced back down at his chopsticks, still awkwardly adorned with a tangle of ramen–the broth dripping onto the table and his pants. Panicked, he took one bite and inhaled, pulling the noodles in with a loud, unintended slurp that bugged his eyes out in surprise.

Something in her chest twisted itself loose. Before she could think, a gale of laughter blew out from deep inside her. She leaned her forehead into one hand and gripped the table with the other, the crashing double-wave of that goofy visual and sound pummeling her previous train of thought and knocking her off balance.

Felix scrambled for a clump of napkins to dry his face and table before that...beautiful sound pealed in his ears. He'd heard chuckles and snorts from Tamora before, but never this lovely outburst of uninhibited happiness.

He reached out a hand to clasp over hers in affection and felt the tickle of an oncoming laugh himself. Unfortunately, he didn't make it past a sharp breath before being immediately reminded that all the spice had settled into that last mouthful of his meal.

“Tha-haaaaat” he wheezed, “wa-haaas a mistake!”

His violent coughs finally shook her out of her laughing fit as she watched him down the rest of his drink in one shot.

"Felix..." she panted, "I-I'm so sorry, the…! The sound just–I couldn't help it, are you okay?"

"Whew…oh my land… I'm just dandy! Nothing a cold drink couldn't wash down. 'M sorry I made such a mess–"

"Don't be. Haven't laughed like that in ages." 

She put a hand across his back, letting it linger on its way, and leaned in to kiss him on the nose. Felix didn't bend, or break, or recoil. He just laid his hand atop hers on his shoulder, and leaned into her with an even redder face and contented sigh.

"I'm glad I got to hear it, Tammy."

It was such a sincere response that she couldn't bring herself to hold eye contact.

"Y'know, next time don't fuss so much. You're gonna need to save that stress for everything else I put you through."

"I'm not jokin', you have a wonderful laugh. I wanna make you do that more often."

"I'm not joking either."

Felix paused. He looked around again and lowered his voice to just above a whisper.

"This isn't about dinner, is it?" He fidgeted with his hammer, running his thumb over the head’s curve. "I know I've been a bit jumpy lately but...I just don't wanna step on any toes. You don't have to tell me anythin' if you don't want to, but I won't be goin' anywhere if you do either. I can handle it, I promise."

Tamora pulled him a little closer.

She'd eaten the stalest crackers and ugliest MREs the service had to offer, but he cooked homemade soup, chili, and pies for her anyway.

She'd show up at her game’s exit covered in blood and grime from work and gotten into some brutal fistfights, but he still politely took off his hat and kissed her hands anyway.

She'd learned to manage the lingering mental scars and nightmares, but he did his best to understand and take care of whatever he could to put her at ease anyway.

Felix may have been a lover rather than a fighter, but if he was tough enough to stay by her side...well, maybe she didn't have anything to be afraid of. All those things Tamora loved about him weren't just painted on. She couldn't wear away something that filled him from the inside out, not any more than he could ever take away the fire that'd forged her relentless spirit in everything she undertook. He'd only ever stoked it.

"I'll take that chance if you will," she finally replied with a smile. "Maybe I can return the favor."

He kissed her knuckles and gazed up into her eyes with that entranced look that always settled across his features in moments like these.

"You already have..."

That settled it. He wasn't about to be one more thing that her past would take away from her.

—

Tagging some of my WIR buddies: @ask-icancraft-it @ashleybenlove @sgtcalhouns @coneygoil @kittysfigurines24 @fix-it-feesh @sadboy-tristan @make-it-mavis @datamining-your-heart @scarfboyxiv @wirridrs @doodlexx

Let me know if you would like your name added to the tags for future fics!

[usmsgutterson]

okay! It’s that time of the year again! My account anniversary has technically already passed--it was technically two years last month I but didn’t actively start posting until the 27th of this month in 2021, so we’re celebrating in april--and both not passed yet, but I was like “two birds get to eat one scone” so we’re celebrating three weeks early. 

Anyway!! Characters to whom this event applies are the same as normal with a new addition or two: we’ve got Alina, Mal, Zoya, and Nikolai from Shadow and Bone, Kaz, Inej, Nina, Matthias, Jesper and Wylan from Six of Crows, Pin Hawthorne from Free Rein because I miss him, Joel Miller from the Last of Us, and because I haven’t written for them in a while and I cannot run two accounts at once for the life of me, Jayce and Viktor from Arcane!

The event, as per usual, is below the cut, and all I ask with this event is that, if you don’t want the reader to be gender neutral--as is my default because I typically write in second person--please let me know!

CONCERT LINEUP

BOYGENIUS

I’ll give everything I’ve got, please take what I can give- blurbs! Fluffy blurbs, to be specific! I’m putting a cap on these at 800 words and I’ll take just about anything, so long as its fluffy!

in another life, we were arsonists- word prompts! Send me any word--it can be the most basic word you’ve ever seen or something specific!--and I’ll write a fic using that word as the inspo

You could absolutely break my heart, that’s how I know that we’re in love- relationship angst! I’ll write nearly anything for this, even if it breaks my heart, makes me rethink life entirely, and ends up being a lot longer than I meant for it to be, any relationship angst is game, the goal here is to sob.

always an angel, never a god- angst prompts! The link for the prompt list is here, and you can send in as many prompts in combination with each other as you want!

NOVO AMOR

so, it’s probably nothing, but it’s been on my mind sometime and I can’t let it go- hug prompts! The link for those is here, and again, you can send in as many combinations as you want!

a dose, a moment to live in- small moments! Give me moments of time that can seem insignificant but are actually very significant to you and I’ll write a fic!

I can’t seem to let myself leave you, but I can’t breathe anymore- longfics! These ones will probably be four or five thousand words in length, and the only thing I ask of you is that requests for this prompt keep to my theme of angst or hurt/comfort with this event!

anchor up to me love- okay! kiss prompts! The link is here, all that’s required for this prompt is that you send along a kiss prompt and whatever else you want to add

CONAN GRAY

it’s not like the novels- titles! Come up with a fic title, provide to me any other specifics you have in mind, and I’ll use whatever you give me to write a fic!

I want a love like the movies- give me a trope/character dynamic from this list, a song (or a specific lyric from a song that you want me to base it off of, or even a poem, anything that is seen as art is acceptable here) and a time of day. I’ll use that to write a fic with a minimum of 1k words. 

maybe we lost all the love that we had, and I can’t pretend it’ll ever come back- give me a one-word emotion (yearning, joy, contentment, anguish, anger, remorse) and a prompt of your choosing (it can be from a list I’ve linked anywhere on my account/this post, or one you come up with!) and i’ll use that to write a fic or make a moodboard!

I wish that you would stay in my memories- give me something mundane and I’ll write a fic of the character you choose doing that thing!

SINGLES

felt like home- ships + moodboards!! Give me a bit about you, an activity you associate with spring, and I’ll ship you with someone from the Grishaverse or Arcane!

am I comfortable in silence? or is it eating me alive?- angst freebie! no prompts or specific angst necessary here, just hit me with your saddest ideas and I’ll probably write anything for this!

something is rotten inside of me. I have to find it and cut it out- go wild here! I’ll accept any combination of prompts, nearly any idea, concepts that you just want to discuss without them turning into a fully fledged fic, or just, if you want to say hi and shoot the shit about something, this prompt isn’t necessary but you’re welcome to use it if you need an excuse :)

mutual tags: @ell0ra-br3kk3r​ @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r​ @sophierequests-trashblog​

[sapphirefallschronicles]

- ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ Welcome to Sapphire Falls - Where are they now #1 ❜┊˚̥۪͙۪◌

Basketballer!Chris Evans x Abigail Syverson (plus size!ofc) & Farmer!Syverson x Livia Darmandi (Asian ofc)

Summary: It has been a few years since the proposal. How are Abigail and Chris doing?

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: None

The Advent Calendar (a.k.a. the masterlist)

‘I cannot believe we’re married now,’ I whisper, nuzzling my nose against my wife’s. 

‘Me neither,’ she whispers back. ‘I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect day.’

It’s the middle of the night and we lay in the kingsize bed of a lovely cottage hidden away in the fields of Sapphire Falls. It had been a long, but amazing day. We decided early on the wedding had to be on Honey Bee Farm. Abigail looked beautiful. She loved being the center of attention, and I loved watching her enjoy it all. 

The rest of the night was spend in bed, until the sun rose again.

●・○・●・○・●

‘Babe, stop right there.’

‘I’m in the middle of the street!’

‘Just stop!’ Chris already has his phone in hand, and starts taking photos, while I’m standing in the middle of the street, holding a little bouquet he just bought me for our first anniversary. 

The smile on my face only grows bigger, especially when I see him crouching down, leaning left and right, just to take a good picture.

‘You look beautiful,’ he smiles. 

Suddenly I hear a car honk loudly, and I run to the sidewalk. ‘Goddamn, these pictures better be worth it.’

●・○・●・○・●

Mornings were my favorite since Chris and I got married. Especially our weekend mornings, because those were our lazy ones, the ones we slept in, ate breakfast in bed. Just like today. 

‘You are a saint,’ I smile softly, as Chris hands me a steaming cup of coffee. He winks at me, looking as handsome as ever. Sometimes I still wonder how I managed to pull this kind of man, but damn, am I grateful. 

‘I think we’re gonna stay in bed all day and watch Friends,’ he says, throwing one more look out the window. The sky is cold and grey, and in the distance I can see dark clouds coming. 

Chris is about to jump back into bed, but stops when he sees me reaching for my camera. 

‘What are you up to?’ he asks, cocking his eyebrow. 

‘You, my love, look like a thirst trap right now. So, I’m gonna take a picture of you because I don’t think I can withhold this from the world,’ I chuckle. ‘If you’ll do me a favor, stand still please.’ 

He patiently gives me a minute, before jumping back into bed, and we stayed there cuddled up for the rest of the rainy day.

●・○・●・○・●

'Chris!' I hear a familiar voice from behind. Not even a second later I feel a pair of strong arms around my neck, and I feel Abigail's soft body pressed against mine. 'I'm so proud of you!'

We, the Chicago Bulls, had just won the nationals. And that might be thanks to the three pointer I scored in the last second. I hadn't seen Abigail after the game; I was busy with interviews, while she ran around taking pictures of everything as she was still in charge of the team's social media presence.

'Couldn't have done it without you, love,' I say, lifting her up to spin her around. After I was done with the interview, I freshened up, and went to a celebration party one of my teammates decided to throw where I'm finally reunited with my wife.

We are inseparable all night, having the time of our life. But deep down I know I have to tell Abi soon that I'm thinking about retiring after next season.

●・○・●・○・●

Once the basketball season was over, we'd travel. We had started doing this the first year we got together, and we don't plan on stopping soon. We'd go to different places each time, but we'd always end with Sapphire Falls. A few weeks there was all I needed before going back to work.

Right now, we are in Portugal, where my husband is trying to take a picture of me.

'Don't tell me you still don't trust your husband to take good pictures.' He holds my camera completely wrong, as always. 'Just sit still, and be pretty.' He winks at me, and I decide to do as he says.

'Whatever you wish, babe,' I answer. While I do my best to do as he says, I cannot help but burst our in laughter when he accidentally turns on the flash.

●・○・●・○・●

The basketball season is about to begin again, so what do you do when you haven't played in a while? You go to the basketball court near your house late at night of course.

Luckily I have Abigail to join me. She is sitting against the fence, playing with a basketball between her feet.

The idea of retiring had only grown stronger the past weeks. I hadn't told anyone, but now might be the time. 'Abi?' I call out.

'Mhm?'

'If I retired after this season, would you mind?' I loved the game, and always will. But I get older, and so does my body. I need more and more time to recover after each training, each game. It's time to listen to my body before it breaks down completely.

'Would I mind? Honey, if you feel like it's been enough, that's your decision. I'm with you, whatever you decide,' she smiles. 'But I wouldn't mind the extra time we'd get together.'

I toss the basketball away, and sit down next to Abigail. 'Maybe we could find something else to fill our time with.' I nudge my shoulder against hers, and grab her hand.

'What do you have in mind?'

'Maybe it's time for some mini you's and mini me's to start running around.'

I look to the side, and see Abigail's eyes lit up. She presses her lips against mine, and I know we're on the same page.

●・○・●・○・●

‘There is my favorite niece!’ Chris exclaims as he engulfs the little girl in his arms. 

‘I’m your only niece!’ Felice yells. Chris is twirling and swirling her around, while she is laughing loudly. 

Felice is the sweetest child ever, and I love spending time with her. And as all kids, sometimes they need a little one on one time with their aunt and uncle. So, as any good aunt would do, I flew to Sapphire Falls, and flew back with her. 

We had arrived home an hour ago, waiting for Chris to come home from one of his last basketball trainings. 

‘You ready for a weekend of fun sweetie?’ he asks Felice, still holding her in his arms. 

‘Yeah!,’ she yells. ‘But you gotta shower uncle Chris, you smell.’ She pouts, exactly like Livia, and Chris barks out a laugh. He puts her down on the couch next to me, gives me a kiss, and with a shaking head he walks away towards the bathroom. 

Hopefully soon, we’ll have one ourselves, I think to myself, smiling at the idea. 

●・○・●・○・●

'Chris! Come down here!'

Frantically I run down the stairs, afraid something's on fire, but when I reach the living room where Abigail is screaming from, everything seems fine.

'Why are you screaming like a mad woman?' I say. She is sitting on the floor, next to our faux Christmas tree. It's a sad one to be honest, kinda small and not very full. But we scored it our first Christmas together. We were way too late with buying one, thus this was the only one left. We got it, and thought it was to funny to buy a new one a year later.

'I need you're help putting up the decorations,' she pouts, making grabby hands at me.

'Alright, alright.' I sit down next to her on the floor, and help her putting the fairy lights in.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a wrapped box I'd never seen before. 'What's that?'

'Maybe you should open that,' Abigail smiles.

Hesitantly I open the box, but my mouth falls wide open once I see what's inside.

A pair of the exact same sneakers as I have, put these are small. So very small. They are for a baby.

'For real?' I ask, while standing up.

'For real,' Abigail smiles. I wrap her in my arms, feeling like the luckiest and happiest guy in the world.

●・○・●・○・●