#sometime this week is my one year anniversary of starting this game and it's been food for brainworms since

[sketchpepper]

Enveloped by bicep girth

[starsinthesky5]

when did Joe and songbird know that they were it for eachother? What moment did they realize this is the person I will spend the rest of my life with?

a/n: can’t sleep so here we are <3

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it wasn’t a single thunderbolt moment for either of them. no fireworks, no slow music, no sweeping movie scene where everything clicked. it was quieter than that. softer. like the slow, sure way morning light spills into a room, touching everything with warmth before you even realize the sun is up. that’s what falling in love with each other felt like. that’s how they knew.

they’d already said i love you a few weeks earlier, in mid-december—mumbled into skin and quiet spaces, in the quiet after they finished moving his stuff into his new house. it had been easy, instinctual, like the words had been sitting on their tongues for weeks just waiting to be spoken aloud. and by the time new year’s rolled around—exactly five months since the day he asked her to be his—that love had taken root. soft but steady. bright but quiet. it lived in everything.

they spent the evening in, no parties or glitter or noise. just them. her in one of his old t-shirts, him stealing bites of the pasta she made (and burnt once, laughing so hard she cried), music playing low while they danced barefoot in the kitchen. they watched old movies under a mountain of blankets, shared kisses between sips of wine, and celebrated the end of the year and their little anniversary with a kind of joy that wrapped around their ribs and refused to let go.

midnight passed without ceremony. no countdown, no shouting. just a kiss. deep and reverent. her fingers in his curls, his hand steady on her cheek. she leaned in after and whispered, “happy anniversary, baby,” against his jaw, and something inside of him just…settled. not with a bang, but a breath. the kind that goes all the way down to your soul.

he knew. he looked at her, barefaced and glowing, her eyes glassy with affection and too much red wine, and thought, this is it. i want this every new year. every night. every anniversary.

but even then, it wasn’t the first time either of them had felt it. for her, it had hit earlier, sometime during the off-season in late august. they’d spent a whole day wrapped in comfort—him padding around her kitchen barefoot and shirtless while she baked something sweet, old records playing in the background. he did the dishes without being asked, hummed along off-key to a song he didn’t know, and looked at her like she hung the stars. later, they curled up on the couch with a photo album from her childhood in his lap, and when she started rambling, embarrassed about glitter eyeshadow and bad haircuts, he smiled at her twelve-year-old self like he loved her then too. like he’d love every version of her. and in that moment, something in her heart just…clicked.

this is the man.

my man.

for joe, it came after a hard loss. one of those games that sits heavy on your chest, where nothing went right and everything felt off. he didn’t text her that night, didn’t want to bring the weight home with him—but she came anyway. showed up the next morning in a hoodie that smelled like her shampoo, holding his favorite breakfast sandwich and a coffee with his name sharpied onto the cup, followed by a tiny heart. she didn’t say much. just walked into his space like she belonged there, dropped her bag, kissed his forehead, and wrapped him in the kind of hug that said i see you. i’m here. and when he finally let his shoulders fall, when he stopped pretending it didn’t bother him, she didn’t give him advice. didn’t tell him to shake it off. she just sat there beside him while he laid his head in her lap, her fingers threading through his hair, her presence so soft and steady that it felt like breathing. and in that stillness, he realized—this is what forever feels like.

this love.

this woman.

this life.

they didn’t need a grand confession. it lived in the small things: in notes tucked into suitcases, in memorized coffee + tea orders, in the way they always found each other’s hands without looking. in soft be safe’s and long hugs at airports. in her laughter echoing through his house like sunlight. in forehead kisses at red lights.

and then, one night—late, quiet, the hallway light casting a glow across the sheets—she whispered it into his skin, breath warm against his collarbone. “you’re it for me,” like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

he didn’t speak right away. just kissed the corner of her mouth, pulled her closer, touched her hair like it was the most precious thing he’d ever held.

then he breathed it back, “you’ve always been it,”.

and from that night on, they never questioned it again.

[airybcby]

i didn't know the spotify wrapped event was ending n u were starting a new event ... 🍊 🍫 w sae😈😈

dawg I'm coming back to ur acc every day now I love ur works

💌

awee thank you so much, that's so sweet :,)

a sae itoshi chocolate covered orange

જ⁀♡⊹｡° don't you say you've missed me

♡ a/n — for my more than a married couple event !

♡ content — sae itoshi x gn! reader, ex bf! sae, sae itoshi x gn! reader, second chance romance, slight pining?, angst (kinda)

♡ synopsis — sae itoshi broke your heart years ago, and this simulation is giving him the perfect opportunity to do it again.

It was almost cruel how life worked sometimes. Out of all the people in the world, it had to be him.

Sae Itoshi stood across from you, his posture perfect, his expression unreadable as the instructor explained the expectations of the marriage simulation program. He hadn’t so much as glanced your way, and you hadn’t said a word to him either.

You wondered if he was as shocked as you were when his name was called alongside yours—or if he even cared.

The last time you’d spoken was years ago, back when the two of you were more than just strangers passing each other by. Back when his hand used to find yours in crowded places, and his words carried a softness that now seemed impossible to imagine.

Back when you still believed in him.

The shared apartment was unnervingly quiet that first evening. Sae unpacked in silence, his every movement precise and deliberate. You tried to busy yourself by organizing your side of the space, but the weight of his presence was impossible to ignore.

“So,” he said finally, his voice cutting through the stillness like a blade. “This is awkward.”

You turned to face him, surprised he’d broken the silence. His expression was calm, but there was a faint edge to his tone.

“I didn’t expect to see you again,” you admitted, your voice quieter than you intended.

“Neither did I.” He looked at you then, his teal eyes sharp and assessing. “But it’s just a program. Let’s get through it and move on.”

His words stung more than you wanted to admit.

Despite his detached demeanor, Sae was annoyingly good at the simulation.

He remembered every detail the program tested on—your supposed "anniversary," your "favorite" flowers, even how you took your coffee. He played the part of the perfect partner effortlessly, charming the instructors and the other couples with ease.

But you knew better.

Behind the façade, he was as distant as ever. Every word he spoke, every gesture he made, felt rehearsed, like he was reciting lines from a script.

It reminded you of how things had been near the end of your relationship—the way he’d started pulling away, hiding behind excuses and half-truths until there was nothing left between you but empty space.

One evening, as you sat together at the kitchen table, going over the week’s assignments, you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“Do you even care about this?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended.

Sae didn’t look up from his notebook. “What do you mean?”

“This.” You gestured around the room. “The program, the simulation, us. Do you care about any of it, or is this just another thing you’re good at?”

He finally met your gaze, his expression unreadable. “Does it matter?”

“Yes,” you said, your chest tightening. ���It matters to me.”

For a moment, he just stared at you, his teal eyes piercing. Then he sighed, leaning back in his chair.

“It’s just a program,” he said quietly. “None of this is real.”

But it had been real once.

You remembered the late-night phone calls, the stolen moments between his games and your busy schedule. The way he used to look at you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world.

And you remembered the way it all fell apart.

The arguments, the distance, the day he told you he was leaving for Spain—and the way he didn’t ask you to come with him. The way he didn't bother when you offered to do long distance.

The way he got over you so easily.

You’d told yourself you were over it. That you’d moved on.

But sitting there, across from him, the weight of everything unsaid between you pressed down like a storm cloud, and you wondered if you ever really had.

The final week of the program arrived, and with it, the “partner reflection” exercise.

Each couple was tasked with writing a letter to their partner, summarizing their experience in the program and what they’d learned. The letters would be shared during the final evaluation.

You spent hours staring at a blank page, the words refusing to come. What could you possibly say to Sae that hadn’t already been said—or left unsaid—years ago?

When the day came, you sat in the evaluation room, your letter clutched tightly in your hands. Sae sat beside you, calm and composed as always, his letter folded neatly on the table.

When it was time to read, he went first.

His words were precise, calculated, perfectly crafted to impress the instructors. He spoke about teamwork, communication, and personal growth, his tone polite but detached.

It was everything you expected—and nothing you wanted to hear.

When it was your turn, you hesitated. The letter in your hands felt heavy, the weight of all your unspoken feelings pressing down on you.

In the end, you set it down on the table, unopened.

“I don’t have anything to say,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.

The instructors looked surprised, but they didn’t press you.

Sae didn’t say anything either.

The program ended the next day.

As you packed up your things, Sae lingered by the door, his expression unreadable.

“This was… interesting,” he said finally, his tone carefully neutral.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak.

For a moment, it looked like he wanted to say something more. But then he turned, his hand on the doorknob.

“Take care of yourself,” he said softly, without looking back.

And then he was gone.

As the door closed behind him, you felt a strange sense of finality settle over you.

Maybe this was how it was always meant to end—two people, once close, now strangers again, moving on in opposite directions.

You told yourself it was for the best.

But as you stood alone in the empty apartment, your chest ached with the weight of everything you’d lost.

i'm obsessed with 2nd chance romance

i hope you liked it!

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Are you sure they like each other? (Alyssa Naeher x Reader)

Barely edited and I don't know if I happy with this, but I wanted to put something out. I hope you enjoy :)

Summary: Alyssa and reader are together, but very stoic and not affectionate in public. Think the team know they're together, apparently not. Start to question if they even like each other. Alyssa and reader turn into soft, love sick people when alone.

Warnings: Tiny bit suggestive, some swearing

Words: 3.3K

Alyssa had slipped out, taking our bags up to the room while I was surrounded by some of the team. I had offered to help, but she had insisted I stay to catch up, leaving before I could protest. Neither of us would be considered extroverts, though I was the one who liked to talk a bit more. Kristie pulled me into a tight hug before a few of the girls following suit, "How was your break Y/n?"

"It was pretty good. Alyssa and I just took it easy. Spent some time fixing up some of the stuff around the house I haven't had the time to do. Visited family, that sort of thing."

Confusion covered their faces, Kelley being the first one to speak up, "Wait. You spent the break with Alyssa?"

Now it was my turn to be confused. Alyssa and I had been together for almost 5 years, living together for 3. It wasn't something that had been hidden. Our relationship wasn't public knowledge, but friends and family knew we were together, or so I thought anyway. We weren't an affectionate couple in public or even with our friends, barely ever touching past an occasional hand on the back, a short hug after a game or if we were going to be apart. Occasionally, we would hold hands at home with family or I would lay with my head in her lap during movie night. I loved Alyssa more than words would describe, there was no doubt in my mind she felt the same. Public affection just made us both very uncomfortable.  

"Why wouldn't I? We live together."

"Wait what? You and Alyssa live together?"

"You didn't know? We weren't hiding it. You know we're together right?"

Kelley looked as if I had grown a second head, "You and Alyssa are dating? No we didn't know that! What the hell Y/n?"

Alyssa's hand touched my lower back, letting me know she was there before dropping back to her side. "What's happening here? Why is there yelling?"

"Apparently they're just finding out we live together and have been together for the last almost 5 years."

"5 years?!? And you didn't tell us?"

Even Alyssa looked confused at this point, "What do you mean didn't tell you? It was never hidden. We assumed you knew."

Accusatory glares were sent our way while Alyssa and I just stood there confused. This was not how I expected my morning to go. "You've never kissed, held hands, cuddled or done anything remotely couple like. How were we supposed to know?"

"We've held hands a few times and I sleep against her on the bus sometimes. I get her coffee and breakfast every morning, Alyssa gets me flowers every week even at camp. Pretty sure we've mentioned our anniversary before. We say 'I love you' to each other all the time. Did none of you find that weird?"

"You're always sitting next to each other on the bus so no and we just figured you were close friends or something. I think there's been one time that you've gotten flowers from her in front of us."

"I've seen that a few times actually, but its always when she seems to have a bad day," Tierna spoke up. 

Alyssa shrugged, "Well yeah, I get them every week, but if she's having a bad day then I'll get them on that day to cheer her up. Look, we just don't like PDA, we weren't hiding anything from you. We really thought you knew about us. And before you even ask, no we're not going to prove it. Now we're going to our room."

As soon as we entered our room, I flopped down on the bed, scooting over slightly when Alyssa lay down next to me. I pushed myself into her arms, leaving kisses on her jaw, her hand slipping under my shirt to draw random patterns. "You unpacked my stuff."

Alyssa held me closer, kissing my forehead. People held the impression that Alyssa disliked physical touch, which she did with most people. In reality, Alyssa loved cuddling with me, she loved holding my hand and kissing me. Just touching in general actually. When we first started dating, it was a welcome surprise. I expected some affection, but not as much as I received. There was definitely no complaints from me, I loved cuddling with my partners. "I always do, don't I?"

"You do and I appreciate it, but you don-"

She cut me off with a quick peck before speaking up not giving me the chance, "My love, how many times have you said I don't have to, yet I do it anyway?"

"Pretty much every camp," I mumbled against her neck, knowing what her response was going to be. It was always the same.

"Exactly. I do it because I love you and I want to make your day a little bit easier so how about you just accept it and let me do it."

It wasn't that I didn't like it, in fact I loved that she did it. I just always felt slightly bad when people did things for me. "Fine. I still can't believe they didn't know about us. I really thought they did."

"So did I. Maybe they just don't listen to us at all. It was all kind of entertaining though."

"It was, I can't believe they were so clueless. I have a feeling Emily is going to be annoying though. She had her mischief face on."

Alyssa's hand traveled further up my side as she rolled on top of me, "Unfortunately, I think you're right, but right now there are other things I would rather do than talk about Emily."

---

Just as I sat down for breakfast, Emily and Kelley slid onto the chairs in front of me. They just stared at me until I snapped, asking what they wanted. This was not what I needed early in the morning especially when I had only been awake for like half an hour. Alyssa was always down for breakfast after me, preferring to take her time to get ready and do her puzzles, while I just wanted coffee. 

"So you and Alyssa are together right?"

"Uh yeah, why?"

"Just checking. How long have you been together?"

"Almost 5 years."

"How did you meet?"

I looked at between Emily and Kelley, trying to figure out why I was being interrogated once again, about my relationship. At this point, I was pretty sure the team believed we were lying or something. "You know this already."

"We forgot."

Alyssa approached, giving me a quick smile which I returned, "Perfect timing. I'm being interrogated about our relationship again."

"Why?"

I shrugged, pushing Alyssa's breakfast in front of her receiving a quite thank you. I didn't answer Kelley's question, instead deciding to eat breakfast before it got cold. "Are you two being forced to be together?"

Both of our heads shot up at that. It was such a ridiculous question. There would be no logical reason for us to be pretending to be together especially considering we weren't public knowledge. I bit back my laugh before answering, "What? What makes you think that? Why would that be a thing?"

Emily shrugged, "You just don't seem to like each other like that."

"Go away Kelley," Alyssa mumbled before going back to her breakfast. I ignored her again, getting up for Alyssa's coffee instead. When I returned, Kelley and Emily were still there, giving Alyssa a suspicious look. I handed Alyssa the cup before sitting down again.

"Thank you love."

Emily narrowed her eyes at us, "Suspicious."

Alyssa rolled her eyes while I flipped Emily off. This whole thing was starting to get old. "Go eat your breakfast."

Later that day, we were back in our room, enjoying the time we had before practice. Alyssa was reading, while I lay in the sun on the balcony. I started to want cuddles. I wouldn't say I was clingy because it was true. We could spend hours doing completely different things. Sometimes though, I just craved touching or being held by her. I gave her a few minutes before calling out to her, knowing she would come to me without hesitation.

Alyssa groaned, but got up, slipped off her shirt and sat down behind me with my head in her lap. We met in the middle, lips connecting briefly before I wiggled around to get into a better position. Alyssa eyebrows raised, amusement shining in her eyes, "Comfortable?"

I smirked, lacing my fingers with hers that rest on my stomach, "Very. Do you like me Lyssa? Is someone forcing you to date me?"

"Not even a little bit. Don't you know I'm only with you for your body?" 

"That's what I thought. Maybe I should confess that I'm only with you for your abs."

She smirked at my response, "I had my suspicions. You're obsessed."

"Not my fault they're great abs."

Fingers ran through my hair as Alyssa leant down to kiss my forehead, "You know I love you right Y/n/n? I don't want you to ever doubt that because I don't show you affection in public."

"You know how I feel about PDA, I don't like it, I never have. I have never once doubted your love for me Alyssa and I hope you haven't doubted mine. I love you."

"Good. I have never doubted your love either."

---

Anger and worry coursed through me when I saw Alyssa go down. It was always my worst fear during games, but it didn't really happen during practice. I know we got competitive, there was no reason for it to happen during practice though. I ran up, kneeling beside her, hand grabbing hers, "Are you okay Lys?"

"This ones going to hurt," Alyssa winced, but quickly grabbed my arm when I turned to Rose who had taken her out. "Hey, it's not her fault, it was an accident. Go see if she's okay and be nice."

I took a breath to calm myself down before walking up to Rose. Rose started fidgeting nervously as I walked up to her, "Hey, are you okay Rose?"

"Y-yeah. S-sorry"

I hugged her, feeling her relax against me. Hugs weren't necessarily my favourite thing except when it was with Alyssa, but I knew Rose liked them and I didn't want her to feel bad. It wasn't actually her fault. "Rosie, it was an accident. Don't beat yourself up because of it, but maybe don't make a habit of taking out out keeper during practice, we kinda need her."

---

"You guys coming to dinner?"

"Uh yeah, just going to drop our stuff off."

Once we were in our room, Alyssa sat on the edge of the bed as I knelt behind her, arms wrapping around her shoulders loosely. She lent back against me with a sigh, kissing my hand. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Think my shoulder might bruise, but I'm okay hun. Don't worry so much."

I lift her shirt over her head, lips meeting the spot that was already starting to bruise then moving around to her neck, cheek and lips, "You know I can't help worrying about you, even if it's a bit ridiculous."

Alyssa turned around, pushing me back and hovering over me, "Well, I'm the same so I can't really say anything. I love you Y/n/n."

I looped my arm around the back of her neck, pulling her down so I could peck her lips, "I love you Lys, but you need to get off cause we need to go down for dinner."

She rolled off me with one final kiss before standing up, "Fine."

"Shirt."

---

My eyes fluttered open to the feeling of lips being pressed to every part of my face and neck. I giggled, arms wrapping around her neck to bring her lips to mine. You wouldn't guess it, but Alyssa always kissed me softly, as if I was something precious. It honestly drove me crazy. 

Alyssa pulled away slowly, grin plastered across her face, "Happy anniversary love."

My grin matched her, as I pecked her lips, "Happy anniversary Lys. I love you."

We spent a little longer in bed than usual, lazy kisses and cuddles shared before reluctantly dragging our selves out of bed and into the shower. Unfortunately, we had training today so we couldn't give in to the clear desires we both had, instead rushing through the shower and downstairs before there was anymore temptation and we ended up late. 

Alyssa and I were discussing dinner plans when we walked into the meal room. We never went out on our anniversary, always staying in and just being with each other in the comfort of our own home. This year was different because we were in a hotel, but we would make do. Just as we sat down, Kelley sat across from us, our conversation ending as we waited for her to say something. "Do you guys even like each other? I mean you guys just seem so indifferent around each other, sure you talk and even joke around sometimes, but it's no different then if you were talking to team mates, we've never heard you talk about anything remotely relationship like."

My arm rest on the back of Alyssa's chair, playing with the baby hairs at the base of her neck. That wasn't a usual occurrence, but it was our anniversary. I was feeling a mix of different, slightly overwhelming emotions from love to happiness, and nerves from the fact I was proposing tonight. I just wanted to be close to her right now and the usual leg against mine wasn't enough. Alyssa must have sensed it because her hand rest on my thigh under the table, squeezing gently as I spoke, "Of course we do. We were literally just talking about our plans tonight for our anniversary."

"That was talk about your anniversary? It sounded like you were talking about grocery shopping."

"We were, but in relation to our anniversary."

"So what are you going to do for your anniversary?"

"Chill out in our hotel room. We never do anything big."

"Yeah okay. That tracks with the appearance of your relationship."

Alyssa had gone back to our room after training while I had gone to the store to pick up a few snacks to sneak in and some flowers for her. She always got me flowers so I wanted to return the favour for once. We were planning on ordering in and watching movies before likely ending the night doing inappropriate cuddling.  It was our favourite way to spend our anniversaries. Thankfully, we had an off day tomorrow so we could get away with it. 

After placing the bag down on the table, I called out for Alyssa, getting a response from the bathroom almost instantly. My arms wrapped around Alyssa when she emerged from the bathroom, leaving a lingering kiss against her lips. Her eyes dropped down to the bouquet in my hand, a small smile appearing. "This isn't your actual gift, but you always get me flowers so I thought it was my turn. Your gift is running late."

"They're beautiful, thank you Y/n/n. You know you didn't have to get me anything."

"I know, but you also always get me something despite me saying the same thing, therefore shut up."

Alyssa laughed, pushing me away gently and taking the flowers, "You speak to me so romantically my love."

I pulled her back into me, peppering her face with kisses, "I love you."

"I love you. I ordered dinner already, it should be here soon. Also here," Alyssa handed out a small wrapped box. Inside was a gold chain with a small keepers glove attached. It was something I had mentioned wanting, a way to have her close when she wasn't there physically. 

"You remembered. I love it Lys."

"Of course I did."

After a short make out session and dinner, we cuddled up in bed to watch a movie. Maybe 15 minutes had passed before I started getting restless. My focus dropped from the movie, instead playing with Alyssa's fingers. I never was the best at staying still. My mind soon drifted to the pool downstairs, it had been a while since I got to go and the urge was suddenly there.  

When I shifted position once again, Alyssa chuckled and paused the movie, "I've lost you haven't I?"

I grinned up at her, kissing her softly. Alyssa always knew me so well. "Do you want to go swimming? It's late so no one will be around."

Alyssa knew I loved swimming so she agreed pretty easily, after some teasing of course. We made our way down to the pool, both wearing tank tops and shorts. No one was around so it didn't matter what we wore. I jumped straight in, swimming around a bit while Alyssa sat on the edge of the pool. After a few minutes, I swam up between Alyssa's legs resting my arms on them as I lent up connecting our lips in a lingering kiss. 

"Come in."

"It's cold."

"Love, it's a heated pool."

"Okay fine, I just enjoy watching you swim around."

"But, if you come in then we can cuddle, kiss," My hand ran up the inside of her thigh, "Touch."

Alyssa instantly slid into the pool, arm wrapping around me and pulling me against her. "You're a tease."

My hands slipped under her tank top, nails scratching down her back and over her stomach, "It's only teasing if I leave it at that. Just wait until we get ba-"

A loud voice interrupted the moment, annoyance crossing Alyssa's face as she stepped back slightly, but didn't let me go. "Oh my god! They really are together."

I groaned, turning to glare at Emily and Kelley, "Fuck off and stop ruining our anniversary."

Once they were out of sight again, I pulled myself out of the pool, Alyssa rest on my legs as I had done earlier. "What are you doing?" 

I pulled the towel that I had hidden the little black box in closer. Inside was a a plain gold band with a round cut diamond. Alyssa didn't often wear jewelry and she liked simple things so I knew she would love it. "I have something for you."

"You waited until we were at the pool to give it to me?"

"Well it wasn't the original plan, but I got nervous." My fingers laced with hers, Alyssa looking up at me curiously. "Never in my life did I think I would fall for someone as hard or fast as I did with you. From the boring, quiet days at home spent doing housework or errands to the movie nights and dinner dates, I love living life with you. I love the adventures we've had, I love working with you, fuck, I just love being with you Alyssa. I look forward to every new day because I get to do it with you. With you by my side, anything is possible. This is a shit speech, but I'm nervous and you love me anyway."

Alyssa chuckled, tears already forming in her eyes before I revealed the little box. "I love you Alyssa, I love you so much more than I thought possible. I want to live life with you forever. With that being said, Alyssa Naeher will you marry me?"

Arms wrapped around my waist tightly, lips connecting with mine, in a soft, emotional kiss, "Yes, yes I will marry you Y/n."

I slipped the ring on her finger, connecting our lips again. Alyssa pulled away too soon for my liking, reaching for her own towel, pulling out a black box similar to the one I had moments before. Alyssa opened it, revealing a plain rose gold band with three small gems set into it. I soon realised it was both our birth stones and one I wasn't quite sure of. "You beat me to it, but will you marry me Y/n?"

"I suppose I can't say no seeing as I just gave you a ring."

Alyssa laughed, sliding the ring onto my finger before kissing me again. "These are our birthstones, what's this one?"

"When we first started dating."

"I love it, I love you."

A crash from behind us instantly caught our attention. About half the team stood there, sheepish smiles in place and a phone pointed in our direction. Seeing as they were caught, everyone started talking over each other, congratulations being thrown our way. I rolled my eyes, turning back to Alyssa. "Let's get out of here before they surround us. We have celebrating to do."

[chatlote]

A whole year since I started posting TTWHB!! Happy anniversary to this fic that consumes so many of my thoughts.

Thoughts and rambles under read more :) (spoiler-free!!!)

It's been a crazy journey so far, hasn't it?

I expected to be much further along the story by now, but since I spend so much of my time also working on Shuake pieces and dealing with real-life stuff, I try not to beat myself up for the slow progress, 90k words in a year is still progress! Also, I draw covers for every chapter, and my beta does an awesome job at editing this whole thing, so it's a little more polished (since I'm not a native English speaker). So yeah, everything adds up, and it takes a while to post new chapters.

Speaking of the covers, it's wild to see how much my style changes between them aha, and god I really hate some of the early ones, whether it's color or anatomy or the brushes I used... When I finish this fic I think I will go back and polish every cover...maybe by then I will make even better covers!

Anyway lets talk about the story for a moment, a lot of things inspired me to write this fic, mainly the idea 'what if there was a mod where you can have Ryoji in SEES and the story changed accordingly?' that's why the fic is structured by days and time of day-as if you are playing the game!

It's not always going to be as in depth about every day of the story-we are actually near the end of it being just one or two days per chapter, and soon things will start speeding up a little more, there was just a lot of Ryoji getting used to SEES that I had to cover.

What else can I say... Oh I suppose I can share something a bit insane, which is the fact for over a year, this whole fic has been planned on an excel, with every timeslot written out.

It looks like this, except it's like, much bigger. Great for keeping track of stuff! Orange squares are all Canon events that I'm finding a way to retell somehow! This took such a long time to create but I love it. Sometimes I still change up things a bit.

I also made this chart that I'm pretty sure has mistakes but it mostly works for what I need ! Feel free to use as a reference if you want :) The red is just a note of characters that switch to first name later.

Anyway, all of this to say, I've never been so passionate about making a story as I've been about this one. Even though I know there's not that many people who care about Ryomina, and even less who enjoy reading fics of them, and 90% of people follow me for Shuake instead- I still really want to see this story until the end, in some ways it's a story I've wanted to tell since I was 13 and playing P3FES for the first time, but it wouldn't exist without Reload and making me fall in love with P3 all over again.

Lastly, thank you to anyone who has ever encouraged me in the comments on AO3, this story is for me, but it's also for all of you, and even if you don't stay with me until the end, I appreciated having you on the ride even if just for a short moment.

Now I should disappear cause I tend to be shy about rambling this much online, but the anniversary had me a bit emotional aha-if anyone has any questions feel free to drop an ask too! Always open to answer to those :) Ty for reading

And here's a little sneak peek/WIP to the next chapter, which shouuuld be out next week!

[toxic3mmy]

Toxic quackity baby trapping us is so hot for some reason

yesss omfg, he would be so so hot at it, too

prompt: alex keeps you for himself

warnings! slight smut!

your boyfriend was nice to you and all but he never met your needs. he was always too busy with work or too tired. those were his excuses for not buying you flowers, taking you out on dates, and especially for disregarding your needs in bed.

but you loved him. he was your first everything. it was just hard because you needed more than just someone being with you. you needed attention and simple pining as if he was still trying to win you over, just like at the start of your relationship.

“he doesn’t deserve you, y/n. you’re too good for him, you know?” your best friend, alex, would often tell you this

alex was your closest friend and any time you needed someone to vent to about your empty relationship, he was there. he held you when your boyfriend made you cry. when you were with alex, he kept your mind off of how badly your relationship was failing.

you began to spend almost all of your time with alex. it’s not like it made any difference to your boyfriend. he didn’t really notice when you were gone.

so you happily would spend nights and even weekends with alex. the two of you were strictly friends.

sometimes, though, you two would smoke a little or even drink a little and the two of you got more touchy. you were comfortable together. you would hold hands and even cuddle a lot.

“i could treat you so much better than that lazy son of a bitch”

“yeah… i know, lexie”

and that’s where that conversation would end. it came up a lot, honestly. and the two of you had had a number of instances where everything would get quiet. the world would stop and it was like the universe would wait for one of you to pluck up the courage to kiss the other.

but that never happened. one of you would awkwardly cough and change the subject and that would be that.

you woke up on this particular rainy spring morning with excitement. you and your boyfriend had been together for three years and today was your anniversary.

your boyfriend had already left for work and so you began to prepare for your wonderful weekend. you cleaned, cooked a huge meal of all his favorites, and even had time to doll yourself up. you were hoping that this could help repair the distance between you two that had been apparent for these last few months.

your front door closed shut and you excitedly went to greet your boyfriend.

“hi! how was work?”

“long… where are you off to?” he asked absentmindedly, only slightly glancing your way

“dont you know what today is?” you frowned

“it’s friday.. thank god. hey, maybe we could catch the basketball game at the bar down the street. i’ll even buy you some girly alcohol drinks, oh and i can invite all the guys!”

“but.. i cooked all your favorite food…” you said quietly

“that’s okay sweetie, you can put it in containers and i’ll eat it throughout the week. while you do that,” he said untying his tie and emptying his pockets, “i’ll go get changed into my jersey”

you held back tears as he left to change out of his work clothes. you sniffled as you thought everything over. he wasn’t even your boyfriend at this point. he treated you like a friend. he forgot your anniversary and you spent your whole month planning a nice weekend full of fun things to do together to celebrate your three years of love.

so much for love, you scoffed

you quickly put on your shoes and got into your car. you drove as fast as you could.

this was the last straw. he no longer felt like a boyfriend to you. you two were practically only roommates.

you wiped your eyes as you parked and walked towards alex’s house. the rain was coming down hard and you realized you were in only a skimpy short dress. but that didn’t matter.

“y/n? whats wrong?” alex said when he opened his front door

you were wet and cold from the spring rain and your makeup was definitely ruined from your crying.

“i need you alex…”

he nodded with an empathetic expression and brought you inside. he wrapped a towel around you as you began to explain what happened between broken sobs.

“i’m so sorry… you never deserved anything like this” he sighed softly

“make me feel better, i need to forget about him” you said with eyes full of lust. you pulled alex to your body, his hips pressed to yours, and hungrily began to kiss him passionately.

“the way you’re looking at me right now… how can i say no?” he said in between kisses,

“i’ll make you forget. i told you for so long that i could treat you better and i meant it. i don’t want you going back to him after tonight, understood?”

a loud mew escaped from your lips as his mouth was immediately mouthing at your wet pussy. he licked you up and down and made sure you felt every second of it.

“just lay down and i’ll take care of you, princesa. i’ll make sure you never leave me for him again” he hungrily had his way with you, eagerly stretching you open with his mouth and fingers. he began to pump his cock and lined himself up at your quivering hole.

as he entered you, you felt loved. his cock inside of you while he panted and planted sweet kisses all over your naked body are what made it easy to completely get lost in him.

he took his time, making sure to focus on you completely. it wasn’t until the two of you came down from your highs that you realized.

“uh… alex?”

“yes?”

“please tell me you wore a condom” you shut your eyes tightly as you already knew the answer to that. you felt his load leaking out of you

“i told you, you’re not leaving me. aren’t you ovulating right now? well, i guess now you’re all mine” he smirked and held you close

he had always showed you the love and care that a boyfriend should. he treated you the way you deserved.

“did you seriously just baby trap me? wow, very mature of you… you’re lucky you’re my best friend and that you’re cute” and wow was it incredibly sexy of alex to remember that you were ovulating…

you didn’t mind that he did this without you knowing. it was kind of sweet, in a sickening way. but hey, who likes being normal?

“i know” he smiled and held you tightly while the two of you fell asleep for the night.

[lorelune]

isagi + shonen anime

anon ask you shall receive. took this in a funny direction perhap

isagi + shounen anime

(minors dni)

"you... really like this stuff?"

isagi asks, sounding curious more than disgusted. which is good because you're being really vulnerable right now and if yoichi blows this, you aren't blowing him for like... a month.

"yes." you're sitting on your bedroom floor, over a box filled with trinkets. fan merch of a show you like, that you've liked for a long time. "i think its fun."

it is fun— you've been watching the show for like— ever. since you were little and it had its first 26 episodes run, and more recently, a remake that revived public and your own personal interest. the result was this burgeoning collection of little keychains, prints, buttons, and very other trinkets. some of it is official and other pieces you've bought from artist and the like online.

isagi has seen none of it. because you're very cool and your fan merch and love of this series is your lifelong, silly secret.

except like— this is yoichi isagi and he is way too smart for his own good. hence he's started noticing that you've been kicking him out on friday nights, consistently, for the past six weeks. leaving your saturday mornings wide open.

upon him kindly pressing, you confess your sins pretty quickly as they are 1) not sins and 2) yoichi loves you and you really don't think you adoration of this particular shounen is going to affect that.

but this has been your thing. like, forever. your personal, untouched little hobby that you've been able to retreat to, outside of your professional life or relationships. so to have isagi peer into it does feel... a bit scary.

"i haven't watched it before," isagi says, "but i remember seeing it on when i was a kid. is it really good?"

you nod, watching as isagi turns over photocard. it's partially holographic, an exclusive from the twentieth anniversary. you already have it in a protective sleeve. he inspects it carefully, thoughtfully, as he does with most anything.

"it's my favorite." you tell him. it really is.

"can we watch it sometime?"

"of course," you blink at him, softly. most of the time isagi is glued to whatever football game is available, even if its for a team he doesn't really know or is invested in. "are you sure you want to? my love of this did have you thinking that i was cheating on you for at least a week."

"that was my worst thought," he reminds you, pinching your cheek with no force behind it. "i figured that there was a more likely answer to why you needed most of friday night and saturday morning free. this is honestly the best outcome."

"how so?"

"well, one, i get to know more about you," isagi stops pinching your cheek, just long enough to lean over and press his lips to the apple of it. "and two, i get to enjoy something new to me with you. isn't that nice?"

"when you put it like that, you make it sound sweet." and not like you were hiding your fan crush on '90s anime man with broad shoulders and huge tits' from your partner of several years.

"because it is sweet."

isagi tackles you to the ground, but not before depositing the photocard back in its proper place and moving your merch box to the side. then he's pushing you to the ground, cushioning the back of your head, and kissing you stupid.

you think that sharing your saturday mornings with him and your favorite show could be quite nice.

[fetchrpg]

Today, December 28th, is Niall's birthday. Someone tell him to loosen up a bit!

December 28th is also the two-year anniversary of when I started properly working on the game. I have a small dev update below the read more. Thank you everyone for following Fetch's development.

Previously I mentioned the next time you heard from me would be the trailer. Well... that's what I hoped. The truth is, the trailer itself is done, and has been for a while. However, I planned from the beginning to launch the trailer alongside the game's Steam store page, and that's been the hold-up. Getting the page ready took longer than I really anticipated to begin with, and now the review process is taking a while, likely because I submitted it just before the week of Christmas. But the trailer is on its way, and it shouldn't be too awful much longer. I hope.

After the trailer releases, I may post less frequently (as if I post frequently right now... lol) and instead focus on, you know, making the game, with less frequent but more substantial "dev blogs" for news until I get closer to the release of the demo and then, later, the full game. For the first or second of these, I'd like to address some general questions you might have or things you might want to know about the game, so if you have any burning questions about Fetch, feel free to leave them as a reply here or in my inbox! I struggle a lot with feeling like I'm not being productive enough and I think sometimes I forget that I'm just one person making his first full-scale game... so focusing on these less frequent updates might help me there. I think. Fetch!!

[otomes-and-tears]

CAN I REQUEST A JB X SHILOH FIC WHERE SHILOH AND JB ARE DATING, SHILOH IS DATING JB PURELY FOR HIS OWN BENEFIT BUT THEN OVER TIME HE SLOWLY STARTS TO FALL FOR HER. ONE DAY HE SMILES AFTER TEXTING WITH JB AND FEELS SAD THAT THEY STOPPED. THATS WHEN HE GOES : “Oh” “Oh shit.” CAN I GET A FIC OF THAT REALIZATION it’s okay if u don’t want to tho it’s fine i’m just insane brbrrbrjrj

♦ The games we play (The lies we live) ♦

► tags/warnings: -

► summary: Sometimes the quietest realisations are the most horrifying.

► words: 1598

► a/n: THANK YOU FOR THE SHILOH REQUEST i freaked out so much when I got it!! He's my favorite boy ever and It's so nice to get to write him! I LOVE THAT LITTLE SPOTTED SNAKE! Ok so, for context, there's a little interaction you can get with Missy and Alicia where they're discussing their plans for the weekend and JB (who's dating shiloh) mentions she isn't going to spend time with him because she likes to keep him on his toes, just so he doesn't slack off in sucking up to her because they're dating. This fic is basically what's happening to him when she's ignoring him

► Masterlist

> I’m telling you shya!!!

> lynn totally saw me  > he just pretended not to and passed right by me :/ > didn’t even say hi > do you think that if I act upset enough he’ll make an extra meeting to apologise?”

The text messages poured in, Shiloh’s phone lighting up in accordance to the frantic rhythm of JB’s thoughts, reflecting her annoyance with nurse Lynn’s behaviour. Her contact was pulled up so Shiloh could see them right as they were received. There’s a little red number in the corner of the screen, right next to the arrow that collapses the chat and allows him to see his other conversations.

A tiny emblem of his neglect for the other thirty or so conversations he hadn’t bothered to answer just yet. They didn’t matter right now, anyway.

JB, his current target, did.

…For now, at least.

A year, two weeks and two days.

It’s how long they had been exclusively dating. Shiloh knew the exact count off the top of his head. It wasn’t romanticism that kept the date firmly stuck within his memory, but a downright obsession, a careful reminder of the parameters of the game they both played, but JB excelled at.

She had whisked him away for a ride on the tunnel of love for their anniversary just two days ago, the echoes of her laughter bouncing off the dim lights of a ride he had visited far too many times before. Wherever she led, he followed obediently, content to allow her to set the rules for the evening, curious to see what she’d do next, what boundaries she’d push. What information she'd try to learn.

And it had been… interesting.

JB was not exactly like the others he’d been with. He tried to picture them in his mind— but their names and faces blurred together. An amalgam of broken hearts he discarded once they’d outgrown their purpose.

He always knew that Jb was different. 

The girls before her had been easier, for one. Soft, pliant things who clung to his well-rehearsed charm like moths to a flame. 

They were swayed by his charms and easy flattery, enchanted by his willingness to remember important dates and the little moments he fabricated to make himself appear just vulnerable enough to fool them into believing there was more to his inner world than what he showed, plainly, to the rest of the world. 

Jb was not the first girl by far to believe she saw through him, but she was likely the very first to be motivated by a desire to make him worse rather than better. No disappointed sighs and gentle kisses and soft assurances that they’d open up his heart to love, that they’d love him just as much if he started being his genuine self. That he would never have to be afraid of rejection just as long as he held them in his arms. 

JB was easy to read and made her desires clear with every word that left her smiling lips. 

She took everything he gave her eagerly. Lies and truths alike,uncaring of which is which , just as long as he kept himself useful, as he stayed interesting enough to sate her boredom. She kept him on his toes, and allowed him to perfect his tactics, delighted in every time she was able to call him the snake that he was.

It was… Fun, surprisingly. More fun than he ever had with any of his previous… Girlfriends? Conquests? 

Of course. If he accused Jb of dating him for unpure reasons, he could likely point the finger at himself, too. She had been his target for a simple reason: JB, the only girl in the stupid after-school group he had been forced to join, had become the quiet object of everyone’s attention

It had been a powerplay. She was attractive enough, funny enough, and being with her meant that, for however long Shiloh kept Jb’s interest, all those guys he hated didn’t get what they wanted. They’d have to live with the fact that Shiloh of all people robbed them of their prize.

And well, no one could never accuse him of not being petty.

That’s how things started, of course. But Shiloh isn’t exactly sure that this is where things stand now. Being with JB has been practical— useful to his image, a silly ploy for revenge, but every time she dragged him out for a date and smiled just a little wider when she managed to make him struggle for an answer, he found himself hoping that whatever he did to make her like him would keep her interest for a little while longer.

It was easy to rationalise it, at first. He needed her to like him for as long as possible in order for his ploy to be effective. He needed to be the one to put a stop to their relationship once it had outgrown its use. He had considered it once or twice already—  but he never went through with it, always convincing himself to hold out for just a little longer.

But a year had passed.

A full year had passed and Jb was still listed as “girlfriend” on his contact list.

And he didn’t know why.

He stared at her latest text, his thumb hovering over the keyboard. Finally, he typed:

> I don’t think our groupmates would like that very much D';

Not a minute later he receives her indignant texts in response. 

And Shiloh laughed.

A real laugh, unbidden and quiet, slipping past the cracks in his carefully constructed facade.

—

She doesn’t answer her texts the next day.

Shiloh didn’t think much of it at first.

JB was mercurial by nature, her moods shifting with the same careless speed as her insults. If she stopped texting for a day, he chalked it up to one of her whims. Maybe she was busy with her endless stream of other amusements— gossiping with Missy, spending time with Alicia or oh so carefully balancing her social engagements to make sure she was well-liked by the several cliques at their school

It wasn’t unusual.

By the second day, Shiloh’s phone felt a little heavier in his pocket.

He checked it compulsively, convincing himself he wasn’t worried. This wasn’t the first time JB had gone radio silent. Of course, it was one of her games. It had to be. 

One specifically designed to pull him taut so she could watch him squirm. 

She always got a kick out of that.

Still, he found himself typing out messages and deleting them before they could take form. What could he even say? Shiloh was well aware that she would love to see him crawling, pathetically begging her for any scraps of attention she’d be so magnanimous as to offer him, but she didn’t always enjoy predictability. What if she wanted something new? What if his usual humiliation wasn’t enough?

By the third day, the silence wasn’t just noticeable. It was deafening.

When Shiloh saw her in the corridors, talking to Everett of all people, she breezed past him without so much as a second glance. Her perfect composure gave nothing away: not a flicker of irritation or even triumph. If this was punishment, she didn’t need to gloat. JB had already won.

For the first time, Shiloh didn’t know how to play her.

And it was strange.

That night, he paced his room restlessly, until his roommate got so annoyed he left for the common room. Shiloh’s phone sat innocently on the nightstand, like it wasn’t a symbol of his torment, glowing softly with her name pulled up on his contact list.

She hadn’t blocked him—he knew because he’d sent a casual, nonchalant “Hey” an hour earlier, and the little “seen” indicator had appeared beneath it, making her silence even more revealing.

He could’ve called her. And he should, maybe. Perhaps that was the desperate measure she had been looking for, but he had the feeling she would’ve rejected it without a second thought.

So instead, he threw himself onto his bed, hat falling to the floor. Shiloh glares at the ceiling as the realisation crept in:

It started as a whisper, a nagging doubt he tried to smother with arrogance and logic. She was just another game, another conquest, like the amalgam of names and faces that came before her. She liked him because he was a liar and a snake, because he was interesting, and he stuck around her because she was useful. That’s all it was.

But the longer he sat in her absence, the louder the whisper became.

He thought about the way her laugh could slice through his defences like a razor. The way she could look at him with that curious glint in her eyes, like she could read every rotten thing written in his soul and didn’t care about how deep the cracks went. 

The way she made him feel… seen, even when he wasn’t sure he liked it. 

She never fell for the ideal of who he could be.

“Oh,” 

He murmured aloud, his voice a hollow echo in the quiet room, grey eyes widening in realization. When

And then, softer, more horrified, as the truth settled in his chest like a lead weight. He barely even hears the sound of his phone pinging, notifying him that Jb had finally answered his text, through the thudding of his heart.

“Oh.”

For once, in many years, Shiloh Fields had no plan. 

No angle. 

No convenient excuse to bury this unfamiliar ache that bloomed whenever JB crossed his mind. 

He was screwed.

[simmerdowndee]

TWIN TUITION EPISODE FIVE

[Cade]

A bit of time has passed. Taylor, Cai and I started sophomore year and it’s going well. We are halfway through. Jordan started his junior year and things are starting to get real for him, as he’s preparing for the NSFL. Cai is pretty excited, but also anxious because she realizes it’s getting closer for Jordan to be away at times. 

Taylor and I have been doing some very small wedding planning. We plan to get married right after college. We’re really excited. So far, we’ve picked a date range and where we want to get married. We want to get married at The Astrum. It’s where we went on our first date. As for the date, we want to get married sometime in the fall, as it gives us time to plan, and we’ll be able to enjoy being newlyweds before I start the process of medical school. 

Ava didn’t speak to me for about another week after I told her I was engaged, and then she tried to call and text a few times asking to meet up. I didn’t respond. I wanted her to feel how I felt. After, she went abroad for the rest of the summer. We didn’t speak at any point during her time abroad, and I was actually okay with it. Now she’s back, and is attempting to reach out again. I don’t understand why she thinks us talking would make this better. You blatantly ghosted me because you were clearly upset about my engagement. I’m not sure what we need to talk about if you are still going to be envious of my relationship…… 

[Cai]

This summer I worked part time at a jewelry gallery. I really loved it, and may want to design jewelry vs clothes. I also used my discount and bought SO much jewelry. 

Jordan is packing as it is his first away game of the season. I’m usually okay with his away games because he’s not gone longer than 48 hours, but this one kinda bothers me….

Jordan: Can you hand me that shirt.  Cai: Sure.  Jordan: Babe, are you okay? Cai: Yeah, I’m fine.  Jordan: Our anniversary is tomorrow.  Cai: Yeah, and you won’t be here to spend it with me so…. 

Jordan: Babe I’m sorry. You know if I could get out of it I would.  Cai: I know. I’m not upset with you. I’m just upset about the timing.  Jordan: I still planned to have lunch with you tomorrow. 

Cai: How, you’ll be 2 hours away… Jordan: Facetime. I will order your favorite and we can eat lunch together.  Cai: So romantic…. Jordan: Cmon babe, I’m still excited.  Cai: You are…

Jordan: Yes, absolutely. We can go out for it when I come back as well. Cai: Won’t be the same….  Jordan: Are you going to keep throwing a tantrum or are you going to spend the little time we have today with me?

Cai: It’s not fair!  Jordan: I know babe. 

[Jordan]

I just had to fall in love with the dramatic, spoiled twin… 

[whiteraven87]

Driven by Speed: A diamond among stones - 7. Unexpected blow

--------------

The Unstoppable Series - Masterlist

Part 1: A Diamond among stones

Prologue

F1 start

Loss and Pain

Calm after the storm

First victory

Unbreakable

Unexpected blow

The Secret

Beginning of New Era

The Burden of a Leader

Sad Anniversary

Unexpected feelings

Hungry Eyes

The Infernal Race

Kiss from A Rose

I shouldn't

Wicked Game

They would be Proud of You

Unstoppable

This is the Beginning

Epilogue

---------------------------

Warnings: long (very long) slow burn, age gap (23 years), woman racing in F1, boss/driver relationship, difficult and painful past, death, anxiety,

---------------------------

7. Unexpected blow

The End and the Beginning

POV Miriell

My first season with Mercedes.

When I signed the contract, I knew what my role would be. Lewis was the star. A multiple world champion, the team’s leader, the foundation on which Mercedes had built its championship legacy.

I was new. I had come here to learn, to gain experience, to support the team and its leader. I had no illusions—I wasn’t here to fight for the title. Not yet.

But nothing could have prepared me for how difficult this season would be.

It wasn’t just about the sporting challenges, the pressure, or the battles on track, where every mistake would cost me more than it would anyone else. It wasn’t just about the fact that, as the only woman on the grid, I had to prove my worth twice over every single time I stepped into the car.

This was a season of pain.

A season shadowed by the loss of Susie and Jack.

Their deaths marked every thought, every day, every night. Sometimes I woke up feeling like it couldn’t be real, like it was just a bad dream—but reality was merciless.

I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t allow myself weakness.

I had to keep going. For them.

And for my grandfather.

He had been gone for years, but I still felt his presence. He was the one who believed in me when I was a child. He was the one who told me that one day, I would stand exactly where I was now.

I couldn’t give up. So I fought.

But this season was difficult for another reason.

Toto.

I didn’t recognize him in those first weeks after the tragedy. Silent. Withdrawn. A shadow of the man I had known.

I worried about him, even though I knew he wouldn’t accept it. He was just like me—proud, independent, convinced he had to handle everything on his own.

But I couldn’t just stand by and watch as he slowly faded away.

Then came the trip to Bieszczady.

The forest, the lake, the silence. The conversations that started slowly but, eventually, began to flow between us.

That’s where we found our connection. That’s where everything started to change.

He came back to the team. He came back to life.

And he was there for me. Every step of the way.

Even though I had always been independent, never wanting anyone’s help, with him, it was different.

I appreciated it.

His presence. The small gestures. The looks I sometimes didn’t understand but that made me feel a little less alone in all of this.

I knew it was just as important for him as it was for me.

And that’s why I let him.

Abu Dhabi GP, December – The Last Race of the Season

I stood on the podium, gazing at the sea of fans swaying below, the silver confetti swirling in the air, and the gleaming trophy in Lewis’s hand. The world around me was a blurred, spinning canvas of light, sound, and pure euphoria.

I had secured third place in the overall standings—my first season with Mercedes had ended with me among the top three drivers. Lewis, on the other hand, had claimed his eighth world championship title, cementing his name in history. Together, we had also won the Constructors’ Championship for the team.

For me, this was more than just a victory. It was the culmination of years of hard work, sacrifices, battles, pain, tears, and countless hours spent on the track. It was something I had dreamed of since I was a little girl, listening to my grandfather’s stories about the great racing champions.

And yet… it wasn’t pure joy. There was space in my heart for another emotion.

I missed them. Mom and Dad. Grandpa. Susie. Jack.

They wouldn’t see me here, wouldn’t hear my laughter, wouldn’t hug me after the race. They wouldn’t see me lift the trophy, wouldn’t see my clenched fists in triumph.

But I had fought for them. I had fought every day, in every lap, in every second of this season. I closed my eyes for a fraction of a second, feeling the warmth of tears behind my eyelids. But I didn’t let them fall. Not here, not now.

Instead, I laughed when Lewis threw an arm around me, gave me a playful shake, and then, with a dramatic flourish, popped open a champagne bottle. The fizzy bubbles hit me straight in the face, and I instinctively ducked, laughing loudly. I grabbed my own bottle and, in retaliation, poured half of its contents over his head.

“Hey!” he called out in mock outrage, running a hand through his soaked hair.

“You need to look the part of a legendary man!” I teased, squinting at him with amusement.

Lewis gave me a mischievous glint before drenching me with the rest of his champagne. I shrieked as the cold drops hit my skin, but it was all part of the moment, part of the celebration.

I watched as Lewis lifted his trophy high, the crowd chanting his name, history being written before our very eyes.

And then, I turned my head and looked down, to the side of the podium.

He was there. Toto. Watching me.

Invisible to the cameras, standing in the shadows—but present. Always. Always when I needed him. Our eyes met for a brief second. We didn’t need words.

***

Later, after the official ceremony, the interviews, the photos, the congratulations, and the media frenzy, the party began. Mercedes was celebrating like never before. We had won everything.

Everyone was laughing, singing, dancing—flashing lights everywhere, toasts one after another, collective cheers. I got swept into the whirlwind but didn’t let it consume me completely.

I sat at the bar, sipping my drink slowly, watching the rest of the team revel in the moment. I was here, I was part of this history. And yet, I felt like I was standing on the border between two worlds.

Lewis was beyond happy. It was clear he had waited for this moment his entire life.

Eventually, he noticed me, walked over, and without a word, grabbed my hand, pulling me onto the dance floor.

“No way, Joschke! This night is just as much yours as it is mine!”

“Lewis…” I started, but he was already spinning me to the rhythm of the music.

I laughed, trying to keep up, but I didn’t have the same carefree energy he did. I danced with him for a few more minutes before slipping away back to my drink.

And that’s when, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Toto.

He stood at the side, talking to someone, but every now and then, his gaze flickered toward me.

Watching. I smiled slightly, almost unconsciously, and took a sip of my drink.

A moment later, Lewis was back at my side. He glanced toward Toto and smirked.

“He’s watching you,” he remarked casually.

“You’re imagining things,” I replied, raising an eyebrow.

Lewis chuckled quietly—bitterly, in a way that wasn’t like him.

“I’m not imagining anything, Joschke. Toto always has his eyes on you.”

I looked at him, and he just smiled wider, shrugging.

“You don’t know?” he asked, with a hint of emotion—maybe regret. “Any man who looks at a woman like that does it for a reason.”

I blinked, not knowing how to respond. Because deep down, I knew Lewis might be right.

But back then, I wasn’t ready to admit it.

A few hours later

Late at night, when the party was slowly losing its momentum, I stepped out onto the terrace, needing a moment of silence. I gazed at the city lights, the reflections in the glass, the quiet breath of the world beyond all of this.

I heard footsteps behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Toto stood beside me, silent. For a while, neither of us spoke.

Finally, he sighed and said softly,

“It was a good season, Miriell.”

I looked at him.

“It was tough.”

He nodded, then added,

“But you made it.”

I watched him, noticing how his features were calmer than they had been in recent months. He had made it too. Maybe even more than I had. I didn’t say anything, but I raised my glass in a silent toast.

He smiled faintly and did the same. The sound of glass clinking echoed into the night.

I knew this was the end of something important, but also the beginning of something new.

A Betrayal I Didn't Understand

Brackley, Two Days Later

POV Miriell

Two days later came the shock and disbelief. I couldn’t believe it.

Two days.

It had only been two days since we celebrated the team’s greatest victory in history. Two days ago, I stood beside him on the podium, poured champagne over him, laughed, watched him lift the trophy as the world chanted his name.

Now, all of that meant nothing—Lewis was moving to Ferrari.

When I read the official statement, I just stared at the screen for a long moment, as if the words displayed were written in a foreign language. As if it was a mistake.

It was impossible. Lewis was Mercedes. Always had been.

He was the legend of this team, its heart, its soul. Together, we had achieved the impossible, and now, just two days after the greatest triumph, two days after history engraved his name in gold—he was simply leaving?

I didn’t understand. I couldn't understand.

***

I walked into Toto’s office without knocking. He was at his desk, leaning on it with both hands, as if trying to steady himself. For a moment, I thought he hadn’t noticed me, but then he lifted his head.

And that’s when I saw it in his eyes. Pain. Suppressed, hidden beneath layers of cold restraint—but it was there.

Lewis was like family to him. They had been friends for years. They had fought together. Built this team side by side. Now, just months after losing Susie and Jack, Lewis was breaking his heart all over again.

“You knew?” I asked quietly.

Toto didn’t answer right away. He looked at me as if debating whether he should talk to me at all.

“I suspected,” he finally said, straightening slowly.

That one sentence was enough. He didn’t have to say anything more. This wasn’t just about the sport. It wasn’t about a new challenge or the dream of driving a red car. I knew that. I felt that.

“Toto…” I started, but he just shook his head.

“Don’t ask, Miriell.”

He shut the topic down so firmly that I didn’t have the courage to push further, but I knew something was off. Something they weren’t telling me.

“If you won’t tell me, I’ll find the answer myself,” I said, walking out of his office.

***

Lewis avoided me all day. He didn’t answer my calls. He didn’t reply to my messages. When I finally found him in one of the Mercedes factory rest rooms, he was sitting on the couch, staring at the empty wall.

“I want to talk to you,” I said, closing the door behind me.

He didn’t look at me.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

I clenched my fists.

“What do you mean, nothing to talk about?! Two days ago, we stood on the podium together, two days ago, you talked about Mercedes’ future, and now suddenly… Ferrari?!”

Silence. He walked to the window, turning his back to me.

“This is the perfect way to end my career,” he finally said. “Driving in red. Every driver’s dream.”

Something in his voice made my chest tighten. He was lying. There was no excitement in it, no joy. Just emptiness.

“Lewis…” I stepped closer, trying to catch his gaze. “If there’s more… if there’s something you’re not telling me…”

Finally, he looked into my eyes. And there was something there I didn’t understand. Regret? Guilt?

“This is my decision,” was all he said.

I didn’t know what else I could do. He didn’t want to talk. He didn’t want to explain, and I felt like I had just lost not only my teammate but also my friend.

When I stepped out into the hallway, I saw Toto. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, his face unreadable—but I knew he felt everything.

For a long moment, we just stared at each other.

“Toto, what’s going on? You know more, don’t you?” I finally asked softly.

Toto didn’t answer right away. He just looked at me with pain and sadness.

“Don’t ask, Miriell. It’s his decision. We have no control over it.”

I had a million questions, but I knew I wouldn’t get answers. Not now. Maybe never.

So I just nodded and walked away.

-------------

NEXT -> 8. The Secret

-------------

"I put my armor on, show you how strong I am."

Read the story here:

AO3 Unstoppable Series

Wattpad Part1 I Wattpad Part 2

----------

[msbarrows]

So I know I've mentioned several times since last week that I'm currently distracted by Lord of the Rings Online and not in a particularly good way; they're doing a big server merge and oh boy but did they ever screw the pooch on performing it.

The last time there was a big server merge was 2015. At that point they were shuttering a bunch of lower-population servers and keeping a bunch of the servers with higher populations, so they did it staggered; each week a different server was open for free transfers from the closing servers, then there was a period where they allowed free transfers between the servers that were remaining open, and then the 'closed' servers remained available for free transfers off for some period of time beyond that.

That is not anything like what they did this time around.

They're finally migrating from the old 32bit servers to newer 64bit architecture, and instead of doing it gradually they somehow came to the decision that a free for all would work just fine. With just four target servers; two for US, two for EU, one each normal and roleplay for each region.

Forgetting, of course, that the game has players going all the way back to the beta in 2007, and a lot of people who popped for lifetime subscriptions back then, who may sometimes go quite long without playing, but still have it as a default 'well I don't feel like playing anything else atm so I might as well play some LotRO again' game.

(Wish I had a lifetime sub, the one time I had enough money for one, it was just after my 3-month sub refreshed, and then I had a sudden monetary need a couple weeks before the lifetime would have finally processed and had to cancel it since the money would not be there.)

So anyway, since they decided to go free transfers to brand spanking new servers, current and old players are coming out of the woodwork to make sure their characters and stuff get transferred over. And since people are VERY ATTACHED to many of their character and kinship names - having had them up to 18 years - everyone wants to get to the new servers as quickly as possible to keep their original names. So it's been an f-ing madhouse, with the wizard to get your characters queued up for transfer so spammed it fails more often then it succeeds, and the queue growing exponentially faster than they can actually process transfers.

Which means today, Tuesday the 11th, they're still processing stuff that went into the queue on the morning of Saturday the 8th, and a lot of people are assuming their transfers failed (because hey, they put it in on Sunday, 48 hours ago) and are continuing to spam the wizard again to put in another transfer request. While there's still loads of people who have yet to even get in a first transfer request.

I've had the first three of my five transfers (which I placed Friday night at roughly 3 hour intervals starting to 7:30pm eastern) go through; they took around 14, 26, and 43 hours respectively.

(Multiple transfers because I play two accounts across two servers; the 1st was my kinship leaders from main account on main server, the second was main server 2nd account characters, the third - the big one - was remaining main account main server characters, and then the remaining two are my characters from the secondary server.)

My next transfer I didn't get scheduled until after noon on Saturday, and even though they have supposedly greatly increased the speed at which transfers get processed, I'm honestly going to be surprised if I see that move before tomorrow. And then probably not until the next day for the final one I got in about 3 hours later.

...assuming them shutting down the servers for a big patch on Thursday (that was originally supposed to happen Wednesday) doesn't zero out the queue.

Oh! And that patch was originally supposed to be for the next entry in a raid series, plus the start of the annual Anniversary Spring Festival.

...yeah I don't think a festival a lot of players can't even play right now is going to go over well.

[xxswagcorexx]

Hey do you maybe have any lifesteal fic recs? There’s not a lot of rec lists in this fandom and I’m not sure where to start!

okay so um. i am perhaps the Worst person to go to when it comes to this stuff because. You See,

if you want a more. comprehensible list, my two swagdoons fic recommendations is probably the best place to start (1, 2). i am also going to shout out the nevada series and no bills in the mail since i've seen a few people talk about them on tumblr and i love both of them!

but i have gone through my bookmarks and have complied some fics! all of these fics are complete :)

Sweet Berry Pie by beaningeneraldenial

Clown is a busy assassin with too much experience on him to not attract a lot of potential clients and employers. One contract has him going away on the week of his and Branzy's 2nd anniversary, which Branzy doesn't appreciate much. He knows, however, how to make their anniversary celebration good! He makes a pie… he only adds a bit of gunpowder in it. or: Clown should've left a post-it note on the fridge saying "Do NOT touch, Branzy!" before he left for the week. He regrets it only a little.

Repent, Harlequin by trafficpose

The problem with knowing Clown: suddenly, chaos was an option.

Tunnel Vision by jukeboxtea

Mid is far from a quiet person. But when she’s in battle, she’s deadly silent. (or, a short character study on Midmysticx.)

Wire snare by dogdomesticated

Getting a read on intent. What will kill you first: the toxin or the detonation? A short abstract exploration of Rekrap's character and themes in Lifesteal season 3.

Rollercoaster by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

Branzy compares Clownpierce to a rollercoaster and other shenanigans.

i wouldn't blame you if you turned around by Anonymous

sometimes things don't go the way you want them to. it's a story clown has heard time and time again.

What do you see when you look at the stars? by lovecore_jpg

“..What do you see?” “..What?” Planet paused, a little confused by the question. “Like– when you look out at the stars. What do you.. see? ..Besides stars?” ---------------------- Planet likes to stargaze when everyone else is asleep. This time, somebody joins him.

Olethros by arospecitzsubz (Octaveice)

"Theoretically, the ruin goes before the grace. He'd named his sword for a reason."

Brown Eyes by PacificSeaOtter

Nobody knows what color Clownpierce's eyes are- not until Vitalasy, Subz, and Rek start a bet trying to figure it out. Thus ensues the saga of failed, but hilarious attempts to get Clown's mask off.

and I swear I could slit my throat with your dull knife by Scared_Rodent

Like a frozen lake, Branzy noticed how Ashswag's expressions hardly changed, how nothing he saw surprised him at all. Branzy remembered falling in love, remembering dates by the beach with nothing but his smile. On the deadliest server in the world, Branzy remembered him.

winter in prague; 1618 by whichlights

winter in prague; 1618. tensions are high after the defenestration of multiple catholic officials, and a war will break out not quite two years later. in this time of tensions, a vampire by the name of clownpierce is injured. his friend is there to care for him, at least.

drinks in new york; 1926 by whichlights

drinks in new york; 1926. prohibition has swept across the country, but that doesn't mean the party stops. world class performers, drinks, and more- all at greenwich village, a historical hub of gay activity. clown and redd have holed up in a townhouse in the village, and have been having a wonderful time in new york.

games to play on work break by Felix_J

"A boring place is what it is. Hell." Jaron says, and it might sound a little bitter. Ash gives him a blurry look. "No, why do you look at me like that." They've stopped asking questions, (Jaron knows asking questions is not a good thing, and generally, he doesn't care). "You think, that was such a hot resort, and Satan is the greatest of 'em, you're curious, right."

A man, a squid and a clown walk into an elevator… by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

Branzy is crushing hard on the dutch man he and Chief share their elevator rides with, and he seeks to learn Dutch in order to form a connection with him. Too bad he can speak English. Too bad Chief isn't going to stop Branzy.

Now as the curtains rise up by softnoblade

Maybe next it’ll snow. Maybe the remains of this server will be preserved, frozen under layers and layers of snow and ice. Perhaps, decades from now, some unlucky archaeologist will stumble across the remains of this server, and simultaneously uncover both the preserved remains of war and the immortal beings that had slaughtered them.

def function (singularity): by Anonymous/np13

it's always why did you mess with your player data and you're missing half your data structures and never ‘how was playing with your data. messing with code looked fun was it fun’ (it is, right up until it's not.)

sunsets on powerlines by w_nter

It starts with a broken lightbulb in his hands, or maybe in a forest, or maybe in a cabin tucked deep in the woods. (or: a purpleduo + the darkest minds au)

bona fortuna by sinoptics

The god of chance enjoys a visit to the human realm.

throw a punch by vanivanilla

there’s not much to do in prison, or: planet and jaron have a brief conversation as they reset their hunger

In Moments Alone (In His Office, With Pillows And Tissues) by Clownsplin

Although his outward appearances suggest otherwise, Clownpierce's moments alone are filled with stiff joints, aching muscles, and tear-stained cheeks. He gets small moments throughout the day when his pain lessens, even if by an infinitely small amount.

atlantis by Anonymous

Planet is stuck in a space between life and death, waiting. (A million miles away, Jaron is in the same position. A couple of feet away, Bacon had tried to run. Turns out there's not a lot to do when you can't respawn without being immediately killed)

farewell to the port by Anonymous

The day Branzy becomes a pirate he wakes up on a small island somewhere in the Caribbean, drunk out of his mind and distinctly lacking shoes.  He thinks, somewhat despairingly, that he really should not be gambling again anytime soon.  or, The Golden Age of Piracy, and the situations and decisions that drive people to become outlaws.

lose the battles by Felix_J

"you lost." it states. unless there are any more tricks up planet's sleeve, which there shouldn't be. but planet... is a strange one. "thanks." they say, and that's right, that is a full blown smile. krow still can't figure out exactly how planet's expression works, but this piece shines out, same as his eyes shine. "thank you." planet repeats, like they're not sure krow heard, or do know it can't exactly believe its ears.

Phantom in Your Foyer by arospecitzsubz (Octaveice)

Half the damn crowd had been cheering.

Kiss me in the corridor, but quick to tell me goodbye (You say that you're no good for me) by Mx_Artemis

Ash is no stranger to evil, nor is he a stranger to ClownPierce. Honestly, is it such a crime that he wants to catch up with him?

The immortal and his assassin by Thrills (IWantToRemainASecret)

He opened the door without any theatrics, no slow creak open or dramatic swing wide, he simply opened it like he was an old friend visiting a familiar face. And- Hold up, that is a familiar face. The soon-to-be-dead man was sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes shut as he slowly sipped at his cup of tea. He opened his eyes lazily, half-lidded gaze settling on Clown’s face in a way that made him feel as if he had been drenched in freezing cold water. Because he had killed his man before.

no hard feelings by sinoptics

“Hey, Redd,” Clown starts as he reaches Redd, voice ever so slightly out of breath, and then he pauses awkwardly. “So.” “So?” Redd repeats, confused as to where this is going to go. “Our arrangement is off. From now on.” Clown states. What the fuck.

or; the fic in which Clownpierce fumbles not one but two bad bitches

anything you say can and will be held against you by Felix_J

It's funny to see how Red tries to process the little things and guess if they belong to Ash, or Ash's persona that doesn't differ from him as much as he thinks, or maybe much more so, or just things Ash makes up. Ash likes to add a lot to the last pile. Poke around, like a little challenge, reminder he's not all that easy. Currently, with the fucking fish. roses and smoke week, day 6: aquarium | fantasy

For that star trapped in your chest by dogdomesticated

Thunderclouds. Stuck waiting around for Vitalasy to show up, Subz goes down a line of thinking he's been avoiding, and by then it's too late. Something about trust, something about defining what you can't see. Light, and where to find it.

The Boy and The Forest by BearAndHoney

As the tale goes there is a boy who wants to be king adn loved. And as the tale goes there is a forest full of mysteries that one else has been brave enough to explore.

the fox's young master by Felix_J

He finds a fox in the forest, dark fur-broken leg, and it reminds him, as it always does. He takes it home to fix it up, and it doesn't matter if it's just a mindless creature, if. To pass its time, he tells it a story. roses and smoke week, day 3: myths | gods

foreguess by Felix_J

I'd never go on dates just like that, after being married so long, you know that, Ash? Red'd move his head on the seat, and he wouldn't be able to see his eyes through the sunglasses. What's even the point of that kinda date? He would continue, not really ask, because of course he has to poke and argue, it always goes in a loop. Even though he knows, and he agrees with Ash. Thanks, Red, Ash'd answer and break it, because there'd be something in his stomach that's so soft, there is. roses and smoke week, day 2: swap | horror

predictable shows by Felix_J

"I'm rewatching the footage for the auditions, yeah." Red nods, slack. He considers picking the remote from his hands to push unpause, but doesn't think Ash won't find it a serious offence and make it end up on the floor in a corner at all. or, "one of them is lying" boosfer + swagdoons swap. roses and smoke week, day 2: swap | horror

The Mourner by Anonymous

The mourner stands in the open, partially hidden in the smoke. Holding out a bouquet of roses as they wait for their loved on to return.

Case #091413 - Always Bet On Red by orphan_account

Case #091413 Statement of… Branzy? No last name given apparently, about a relationship of unclear nature with someone only known as “Clown”. Dated September 13th 2014, recorded by Zachery Prince at the Institute Cordum.

little comforts by sinoptics

He turns to Vitalasy then, who’s tending a pot on the stove. “Hey, uh,” He starts, and Vitalasy makes a hum of acknowledgement. “Zam could probably use some affection.”

Mutual Hell by Kappuccinokat

Mapicc exhaled, frustrated, and stood up, walking over to the empty window. Zam tried not to relax too much. “I’m assuming this is hell, then.” He drummed his fingers on the window sill. “That’s what I gathered, yeah.” — Or; Zam had lost it all, and now as he awaits his fate in hell, a familiar face threatens to break his resolve.

Homemade Headache Cures by ros_is_writing

“Vitalasy,” Subz announced. “I can’t fucking see, and it fucking hurts.” He emphasized his point by knocking his head against Vitalasy’s shoulder, the metal of his armor hurt slightly. Vitalasy made another sympathetic noise in the back of his throat and bumped his chin to Subz’s head. Normally their head bumps were comforting to Subz, but now they just made his head hurt worse. Damn these fucking glasses.

Siren's Song by KingdomKey

The Phantoms are a renowned pirate crew who sail the seven seas. Their ship comes across a rocky island, and as they carefully traverse it, they come upon a strange creature. It certainly isn't friendly.

sweet dreams i'll always share with you by Anonymous/cutthesky

Red can transform into a plush version of himself (a big Minidoons). Shenanigans ensue one day as Ash and Red wait to fall asleep.

Cut it Out by Anonymous

He always had Ro and his knife, didn't he?

Lifesteal > Eastside > Create a Posting by bloodynocturne (avoxutopia)

Craigslist has always been an odd place, a collection of people in the same place; selling, buying, searching, looking to give or take something. And sometimes, there's small connections. People searching for each other in a circle, narrowly missing one another every time.

Southbound by ros_is_writing

“We could always use the above ground station,” Planet said in the same tone of voice that they used before. Nonchalant, bored even. Like they hadn’t just suggested an actual crime. “No.” Bacon said immediately. “That’s illegal.” “What’s illegal?” Jaron asked.

Poopies' Fun Day in the Hypixel Pit by rainy_writez

With the end of Lifesteal season 4, Poopies the endermite (who is still here somehow because it defies the mere concept of law) has become restless. So Spoke takes it to the Hypixel Pit for a fun day of incomprehensible violence. Surprisingly, Poopies ends up leaving with a new friend… or maybe more?

losing by B0LTZ

take a breath, spit out the blood in your mouth, and get back up on your feet. you still got a couple of motherfuckers to prove wrong

see with your two eyes by Felix_J

He's not a god, because the flag Red sails under doesn't believe in gods. And then he's wrong. In the reasoning, not the other thing.

carry me to tomorrow by Anonymous

Ash chooses to trust himself to the unwavering night.

mixed media: flesh, electricity, bone by Anonymous

“Do you think we’re friends in other universes too?”

(hello) my old heart by Anonymous

What he doesn’t ask is why Ash chooses, over and over, to step through that door, through Lifesteal and Earthbound and the wastelands of an apocalypse. The void knows how many other worlds they’ve followed each other through without a second thought.

fun activities to do with the person you're stuck under house arrest with by oneirogen

Open heart surgery doesn’t even rank up high in the number of weird shit he’s done on this server. Maybe approaching the top tens, if he's being generous.

smile for the camera (repeat and do it over) by gin (tabanthas)

You’re an ally and an enigma at the best of times. At the worst, you are a challenge. You are never, never a friend. OR: rek and his trust issues &lt;3

divine intervention by Anonymous

"If we went through this all again," he says, and it sounds so far away. "Would we still find each other?" (Less than a metre away, Jaron stares at the sky. To his side, Bacon looks at the rubble by their feet. Even when you know it's coming, the end still feels like a loss you can't prepare for)

a parting of clouds by genesis_frog

What do you say, after all of that? Subz and Zam's first conversation after the sign room.

there will be darkness again by genesis_frog

Zam has been in the Eclipse Federation nearly a month now. Subz is getting more and more obvious by the day. Vitalasy steps in.

let me hold it lightly by genesis_frog

It’s a quiet life, outside the world border, but it’s one Zam and Subz have made for themselves.

to the previous respondee: by orioncataclysmic

IMAGE: more bolded comic sans. This time, it’s held up by washi tape, patterned with dicks. It reads: i like war and death and asthma attacks and if you don’t you’re a bitch and your moms a hoe OR: a battle of wits, told through an apartment corkboard, messages between Zam and Mapicc, and glimpses into Mapicc and Bacon's lives

Steam Heart by enderpearlnecklace

After sneaking onto an airship full of pirates, Branzy tries to find a way to escape.

Dear Diary: Today, I killed someone by Fey_wilde

Squiddo prides herself on her excellent memory. It’s one of her only positive attributes, one she can count on in nearly every situation. In just a blink of the eye, she can recall a story, an adventure. Every single bit of data crams itself into her head, sorting into neat piles, ones she can sift through with speed and efficiency. Mobs, history, abandoned places, extinct worlds, glitches, she knows them all. Her memory never fails. Yet, no matter how hard she tries, no matter how many hours she spends lying awake, unseeing eyes staring at the ceiling of her makeshift base, she just can’t remember why. Why did I join Lifesteal?

New Years Eve by Nox_aMillion

Going to the roof was a tradition the two of them had for New Years because apparently they liked extreme parkour off a roof while fireworks actively went off. Or the privacy was nice. Something like that.

Halloween Night by Nox_aMillion

Honestly they had done everything else there was to do on Halloween at this point. They were even dressed in repeat costumes, Red as a demon and Ash as a vampire. (Yes they could be more creative but any costume was a costume.) The two had been coming back from a fear farm when Red mentioned that there was a party at this house tonight. It was nearly two in the morning by the time they got here but the party was still going strong. Parties in houses like this didn’t end until the police got there.

[subwaytostardew]

Update: One year on the tracks!

It's been a year (and a week) since we first started working on this mod! April 25th is when I first started working on this project! Terrible timing since that's literally the day before my birthday and I'm too busy to make anniversary updates the day of. Thank you everyone following this mod despite how slow we chug along!

If you see the first ever post Thylak did over on his main - you will just see my little comments discovering his work and instantly being like

*Fast excited ADHD typing* I GOT IDEAS.

Rest is history....

We've been hard at work trying to get the mod complete enough for a (still unfinished...) release! It won't have everything we have planned (marriage events, Elesa events, platonic route, roommateable Cilan, etc.) because it would take forever otherwise (we keep getting ideas for additions...)

So many ideas. Sometimes we have to dial it back...... The amount of times events had to be cut down for concision... and we still struggle to keep them under 8 minutes...

1.6 broke a lot, so sorry for the delay in updates! (WHY CA WHY!) We've been having to do a lot of backtracking and behind-the-scenes work. (SO MUCH BACKTRACKING) Pretty much every event broke. I have to resprite all the portraits to match the vanilla-size because HD Portraits is still not updated. The schedules need fixing.

But despite all of that, the station bundles are done! We also redid the house exterior for submas because it was ugly. I did not know how to do pixel art a year ago. Nor did I know how to decorate maps. They have a whole new area off to the side of the Railroad now!

We hot potatoed that map so much. First Thylak would work on it. Then I did. Then back to him...

Still need to get around to adjusting their schedules to switch their coordinates to the new map when they're working on the Railroad. Previously, they were just pacing around in the various empty areas of the Railroad. Now they have trains.

The house itself was actually two different structures with a seperate clock tower but then we decided it looked better overlapping the bit of roof peeking out. It's much less flat now.

Submas have a mailbox that adheres to Stardew's perspective.

No longer is the house a cardboard cut out with shading and lighting. LOL (I didn't know how to sprite buildings!!! I put all my effort into Emmet's walk cycle!)

Also speaking of mail boxes... since it been a year; I'm sure all ya'll are curious to how we do our modding, story, etc. We encourage you to hit the mail car button and ask away (so many of you already have) But since it's been a year. Go Crazy.

But I will nip the common asks tho.

Some Common Asks.

"Is this mod SVE (Stardew Valley Expanded) Compatible?"

No.... Unfortunately due to the complexity of both mods. (Ours due to railroad being used. And SVE already expanding on a bunch of stuff) It will just be compatible with vanilla and any mods that does not replace or edit the railroad (majorly).

We did move submas's house over to the side so it won't overlap the farm it adds or impede any space that you want to use the Railroad's empty spots of land for, but it's still very much a "play at your own risk" type of thing. I'm not familiar enough with SVE to code compatibility for it (not familiar at all actually... I don't play the game enough! All my time is spent working on the mod! All I do is stare at google docs and type walls of text! I'm not interested in SVE anyways for personal reasons.)

SVE is infamous in the modding scene since it changes pretty much every map and steps on other mods with incompatibility. I don't want to deal with making two seperate events with the coordinates/movements edited for compatibility. It should be compatible with most other expansion mods like Ridgeside Village or East Scarp since they mostly keep to their seperate areas and not edit things unless necessary (like submas do now)! SVE changes too much to gurantee compatibility and for the sake of my sanity I won't provide it. If it works, great. If it doesn't, pick and choose for that save.

So.. SVE and our mod. Incompatible....

"Release Date?"

Unfortunately it is still undetermined! (Due to our busy schedules.)

(For example - I myself work 2 jobs and currently going through a lot of chaotic life stressors.....)

However, we will make a progress post soon about how much left on our list where we are satisfied with moving onto the next stage of our mod which is.

There's actually not much new content planned until we're ready for initial release, we mostly have a lot of behind the scenes cleanup and backtracking. I still have portraits to do (I took a break... switched off to mapping). Event-wise I want Emmet's 10 heart event to be done and a few station/side events we have in the drafts. We'll need more festival dialogue (since... they don't show up unless if I have stuff for year two for some reason). After that, we get into more fun stuff! Patches!

PATCHES! Oh we love a good mod patch! And we have a lot planned. Meaning there's still more ahead on the tracks!

"Are they romancable?"

Yes. Yes they are. HOWEVER! WE DO SEE YOU AROACE COMMUNITY! And we will be making a route that will be planned in the next comming phase to make them platonic relations as well!

It's the first stop on our intinerary! We'll release the platonic route alongside the marriage event update so there's something for everyone.

We are just following vanilla format at the moment as it is easier coding wise. And also a good place to start planning where the branches are going to happen. Making roomates is a bit more complex... I have to make a custom item for "proposal" much like the void pendant.

I think that covers the common asks... OH!

Also! Since we have released the Joltik Adoption aspect as a separate mod as well as a little fun tease (And test run) - before we actually drop Subway to Stardew. So sorry the event didn't work at first! I was testing on the main expansion mod. Should be fixed now!

We recommended that if you find any JOLTIKS. Scurrying around. Causing trouble. (Aka Bugs.) Please send in an ask! Or head over to Nexus to drop a bug report! It will help iron out some things that we may not be aware about before release!

And when we do release we HIGHLY encourage the bug reports cause it's just two of us... <_< and those Joltiks get into everything! (Doesn't help that THYLAK KEEPS THROWING THEM EVERYWHERE! I find them in my paperwork... and Atwood's bedding.... My poor Phantump. He can't catch a wink without a Joltik scurrying all over the place!)

It's just me doing all the coding (All. Of. It.) so I hope you all can continue to be patient while I work on things! Sorry if I miss some things! We probably won't playtest too extensively before the initial release, so please do report any bugs you find then!

▷ Station Steward Thylak

[shiningcrystal-prettycure]

I haven't touched this blog, and Tumblr itself in a while, but here we go...

I officially announce my PreCure and Club Penguin fan series...

I've been wanting to create such a series for a very long time, and it's now time! I'll give you some history about how this project came to be, and I'll explain the things to come!

In late 2023, I created my AO3 account, and I began to create concepts for the series, like the main character names, items, locations, and the villains.

In January 2024, I named the series Crystal Heroes Pretty Cure, which was the original name for this project, and then in February, I talked about my plans for this series. Unfortunately, many setbacks had befallen the project, and it was to the point where I almost abandoned it entirely. My personal life was not helping either. Between moving back in America with my dad to New York from New Jersey, and having to find a new school after my disabilities started preventing me from working at my previous school, as well as family issues, I didn't have the energy to work on it anymore. However, so many people and events have encouraged me to resume work on this project and helped me set goals for it in the process.

Celebrating Club Penguin's 20th anniversary this year is the main goal here. Taking things people know from the game and putting them in a new light, putting them in the perspective of the main characters, as well as giving classic characters new personalities and traits, will make things feel fresh and new again. The adventures that will unfold in the world of Shining Crystal will represent the experience of playing Club Penguin, as well as representing the values of friendship, playing fair, community help, respecting others, and working together that the original game had set off to teach it's young players. Action, fantasy and slice-of-life tales will collide as our characters save the world from mysterious enemies, while also having to deal with relatable everyday life and duties. A mysterious sky kingdom will serve as where the story will unfold, while the island where Club Penguin is set on will serve as the main setting. The second goal I have for this is to help people experience Club Penguin in a new way. With all the drama and controversy surrounding private servers or revivals of the original game, it's inevitable that people will be seeking alternative means of engaging with the community. I am not saying that I am the only one who'll provide these alternatives, but helping contribute to the community with a work like this will benefit people who are looking to engage with the community in the long-run. The third and final goal? Being a passion project that I'll love, and one that I hope everyone else will. I love writing and creating, and that's because it's a personal escapism from what I'm stressed about in my life, like my disabilities, political issues, and just struggling to live in general. I know that I can't avoid these issues entirely, and I have to speak up about them, but sometimes, I like doing what I love to just get away from the world, and I hope people love what I do. If they don't, it's OK.

I am currently in the process of writing the first chapter, and this week will be dedicated to revealing information about the series, such as character bios, art and designs, the story and lore, and more! I hope you are excited as I am!

~Flora ♡

[princepestilence]

NYR: March in review

Post-March horoscope: from impossible to difficult to unfamiliar to familiar to easy to automatic

Less than a week late this time! Going to try to post the day of at the start of next month and get back into routine.

That said... life is busy! I wish there were two of me so I'd have half a chance at getting through everything that just keeps piling on. I am more purposefully selecting what I do or don't do with my time, but between the obligations and necessities of living and the basic pleasures of rest and fun to keep the engine going, I'm coming up with almost nothing to spare for creative work or social happenings.

Much of what remains is still pretty good, though. For example, in March:

another big successful month at work. Overlapping into this week too, technically, but March laid a lot of groundwork. I've already solved one particularly thorny problem, and now that I've got a few quieter weeks in a row, I'm polishing up all the processes and whatnot while I have the opportunity. .

saw lots of theatre. Some of it good, some of it really not! It was lovely to have a day trip up to Sydney for a fancy date beforehand, and always a bit more special to go to someone else's theatre for a show. .

play the new game. This has been my go-to source of joy and fun for this month, and I'm not done with it yet. .

PhD certificate arrived in the post. We'll probably frame it and put it up somewhere in the house but I have no idea when. Not a high priority. .

reading. It's dropped off quite a lot because I've been using my spare time to play games, but still have gotten through some of the list. .

caught up with friends and family. Found the hours somehow, and it was really rejuvenating to catch up with friends after so long. Family and I also booked accommodation for the trip to Japan while I visited them, so now I can look at maps and plot out day trips and easiest transport from those specific hubs. .

tea party. I've fallen behind on the actual calendar days (unsurprising) but it's a lot of fun! Definitely set a whole new standard for birthday celebrations and friend gifts. .

went to a queer mixer. A cute idea, but in practice not really anything special. For me, at least. I think I've been (and continue to be) really spoiled by the friendships I have, which has made me into the problem when it comes to actually clicking with new people. It was in reflection after coming home that I finally started putting together the what and how of why it so often goes this way for me. Admittedly, it's not a super favourable thing about me, but I guess introspection is like that sometimes. Much to think about. .

had our seventh anniversary. Starting to think she likes me or something...

In April, I will:

rub gay germs on my workplace. In an official capacity. Officially. .

find time for more social things. There's a list of friends I've been meaning to see for months and haven't, so shuffling them higher up the list. .

read more. I've let it slip but want to get back into balance. It can't be all fun (video-games) all the time. It has to also be fun (reading). .

house stuff. Need to get the new sockets installed. .

sort through the wardrobe. I haven't done a clearout in years by this point, and have accumulated a range of things that: don't fit very well (or at all) anymore; are not fit to be worn outside the house due to tarnishment; just won't find love with me and should go to someone else; OR are extremely loved and would be worn a lot if they weren't buried at the back under other things and thus forgotten. So it's time. Also with the autumn weather properly coming in, it's due for rearrange anyway.