#some people are not figuring their way out of a wet paper bag. they're gonna die in there. next to the instruction manual.

[cqcandchill]

skipping the first day of lecture is my adhd life hack

50 mins of sitting to review the syllabus, a document that is so self evident i still feel disbelief university students need to be hand held through it beyond first year, makes me want to kill myself. reading comprehension really truly is dead

[gabessquishytum]

You know what concept doesn’t get explored enough in Dreamling fic? Dream teaching Hob how to read. Like, I’ve seen one or two off mentions of it in canon adjacent fic, but nothing that really gives focus to that idea, y’know? And while I think it would be fun in canon, I’m gonna go au real quick.

So Hob as one of those kids unfortunately left behind. Probably a combination of living in poverty and his undiagnosed adhd. And he’s definitely way too embarrassed by this to actually ask anyone to teach him. So now he’s an adult who doesn’t know much more than his own name and his numbers. And while that probably wouldn’t be enough for most people to get by, what Hob DOES have are people skills. His ability to charm people and talk around them let’s him get through life well enough.

Then there’s Dream, mister wet cat himself. If he’s not an Author™️ then he’s definitely a voracious reader. But he has a personality of a damp paper bag. Like, even he has to admit his lack of social skills is actively hindering his life and relationships at this point. Probably add some autism for ✨flavor✨

But Dream does have moments where he’s too observant for his own good. Which is how he clocks that Hob avoids reading like the plague. (I’m envisioning Hob as a bartender at the pub Dream goes to to try and learn human behavior. But idk if he could avoid reading with that job.)

So Dream corners Hob and proposes a trade off: Dream will teach him how to read and Hob will teach him some social skills. Once Hob realizes he’s not being threatened (seriously, Dream really sucks at this talking to people thing) he hesitantly agrees. At least it’s less embarrassing if Dream also needs to be taught something? And it would be rather helpful…

Obviously during the course of their lessons they fall in love 🥰

This means so much to me!!!! I love it. The idea of Hob hiding the fact that he can't read is so heartbreaking but actually so real and its way more common than people imagine.

I also love the idea of Hob + Dream = One Normal Functioning Adult. That's my favourite thing, when they're each other's missing puzzle piece <3

I figure that Hob might have picked up a few words from around the environment of the bar. Like, each tap has a label on and he knows exactly which is which and he can technically read "Guiness" and "Wherry" and a few others, but they're not the most useful words. Anyways, Dream gets the idea that he'll keep using things around the pub to teach Hob to read: menus, newspapers, posters for old gigs, crisp packets. It's a good way for Hob to build confidence before Dream presents him with an actual book.

And similarly Hob uses the bar as a place to teach Dream about social skills. He coaches him through identifying body language and expressions, quizzing Dream on how he thought each customer might be feeling. Then he encourages three way conversations between him, Dream and regular customers. He gives Dream topics to focus on and gives him safe ways to get out of an interaction that he's not vibing with.

By the time Hob stumbles his way through his first novel, Dream is able to talk to a stranger about the weather without any issues. And they're both mutually crushing on each other so hard!! It only seems fitting that the pub which has been such a cornerstone for their friendship and some pretty awesome personal milestones, is also the place where they have their first date.

Hob reads love sonnets to Dream in a hushed undertone. And it's like the whole building sighs happily at the sights of them together <3

[distance-does-not-matter]

Would love to hear about your DnD chara and her drenched-papersack of a man 👀

HELLO ok i'm back at my computer so i can ANSWER

ok SO

we're playing Curse of Strahd and i have made myself a sorcerer by the name of Asta Lathan, follower of Lathander. and now she's taking up every spare inch of room in my brain. it started in May (more on that later) but now she's a permanent resident

she's a village girl. raised by her grandparents alongside her cousin Cedric. more than your typical adventurer, she's a figure from an adventurer's backstory. she's the apothecary of her village/town, and she never planned to leave. she planned to start a family, find an apprentice, and pass on the apothecary when she was growing old, just like it was passed to her. her cousin Cedric, with the more traumatic loss of his parents and his four years of age on her and the charming demeanor, he's the adventurer. he goes off on these adventures and writes letters home, that they all treasure, and when he comes home (he always comes home), he regales them with stories

you know how he always comes home? one time, he doesn't. Asta studies his last letter. he mentioned a land, Barovia. and so Asta packs and says her goodbyes and sets out to retrieve her cousin, wherever he may be.

when she gets there, she meets with perils but she also meets her beloved party. then proceeds to have the weirdest eleven days ever and baby they're only gonna get weirder

remember how i mentioned May? well, in irl May, we played a session where we went up against creatures we later learned were Night Hags, or the Coven, or whatever we call them. the entire party was incapacitated/outside, except for Asta. so their leader closed in and offered a deal. if Asta agreed to become one of them and to return in ten years' time to learn their ways, they would set her and her friends free (i think they even healed them)

did i mention we fought the Coven because they ate people? yea

what other choice could she make? she took the bargain. she was human before. now she's... well, she doesn't know. her skin is blue and her eyes yellow and branches/thorns grow out of her head

and the bargain is the gift that keeps on giving in terms of roleplay bc it has made some interactions VERY juicy

and now to her wet paper bag of a man!!! who is not actually her man at all. not yet anyway, if i can help it

his name is Vasili and he's an NPC who is awkward and capable and has a horse and says the wrong thing a lot of the time. he's so swagless. it's been around a day since we've met him and he hasn't given a genuine smile once. he feels so guilty for everything, even things that aren't his fault. his face fell when he told Asta her cousin went to Strahd's castle weeks ago and he hasn't heard from him since. he held her upright as she sobbed. he told her she didn't have to eat dinner with him, she didn't mean it. she took it bc she was heartbroken but she did mean it. currently scheming how to tell him that no, she DID mean it, she was just sad (DM and I have a plan)

oh yea she ran into him again in a big battle, demanded his horse (and cursed at him), then they rode the horse together and she called him "baby" and asked him to dinner. that's the prelude to the previous paragraph

he's apparently an accountant

i've been thinking about him so much that it's ridiculous

so. yea.