#some of these are real whack tho but i'm starting to get it

[okkennymay]

I’ve gotten a commission which features Gus Fring from Breaking Bad- but this isn't it (ﾉ*ФωФ)ﾉ When I'm unfamiliar with a character, especially one from a live actor, I like to do a lil study to try to figure them out~ This generally means my clients get to enjoy little bonus’s here and there (oﾟvﾟ)ノ ‘Ken perks! 

[taldigi]

What are your thoughts on all of the confidants so far? Considering your low tolerance for unnecessary and uncomfortable horniness does that stop you from enjoying the adult women who are confidants? Or does it not encroach enough on their stories to bother you?

yes and no.

I think Ren's allowed to be a dumb teen about olda girlz, but the attitude back is what might squick me out. Like death? She's clearly fucking with him whereas devil is.. well... Fake dating is one thing. But they do.. call it out. It's kinda yikes. It's very yikes. Temperance as well.

heres my thoughts, note that I just started palace... 6? The ship.

Fool: well..

Magician: Baby, darling, prince. You're so cute and perfect. I love that he cares, I love how he's passionate. He's the heart of the team, just after Chariot.

Priestess: Love her. She's so hardcore, I love how her resolve is so firm, and her introduction was just... mwah. She really does feel more like the leader of the operation tbh, and Ren is just the mascot.

Empress: princess, darling. She's such a wholly unnecessary member but she's amazing. She's so eager and determined, yet soft and thoughtful.

Emperor: I am SO autism aware of this guy. He's so fucking funny and he's so real. He's equal parts tragic and perfect, like some hammy actor but he's SO REAL. He's so passionate and in love with the world. Stop caring. Stop caring about the inherent beauty of the world and the people around you and your FRIENDS im going to CRY. Fox BOY fox BOY.

Hierophant: What a wonderful guy, I love how he slowly grows to really care about Ren, and he's so depth. I will honor your wishes and I won't even THINK about Futaba, sir. I promise.

Lovers: DARLING PRINCESS. So heartwarming, she's so brave and beautiful. She's so confidant and so true to herself, but she loves so much and cares so much MORE. Lady ANN lady of my HEART

Chariot: All around good boy with too big a heart and too big a mouth. He's so ride or die coded and he's so stupid but he's all heart. I love that he loves. He cares and he's so vocal about it. He had a huge dumb head about fame but it's all built on a foundation of love and dumb. NO filter and deserves 2/3s the whacks on the head he gets. But.. he is treated pretty foul sometimes. You're all idiots, he's just the only one who is brave enough to say it.

Justice: They could have written him a litttttllee better. I think he's great though, he's so fun.

Hermit: put some pants on, you're like 12.

Fortune: She's sweet! I like her! I don't love her tho, she's one of those auxiliary tarots. She's got some fun story integration tho, and ultimately her story is good.

Strength: I love them, actually. The game kinda gives them... an odd look, but they are fantastic. I love the animation where one of them kicks Ren into the Velvet Room. They're funny, I love their dynamic and I'm very interested to see what happens next.

Hanged Man: Surprisingly, I like him a lot. He's got a great story! I wish it wasn't locked behind such a huge stat requirement. His son needs a talk portrait tho.

Death: So wonderful, actually. She's so kind, and smart, and uuugh. holds her. I love how much she cares, even though she's got that dark attitude. Her story rings so true with the themes of the game. I know she has a route, but the whole time her taunting felt very "Im fucking with him"

Temperance: Hgh, I hate how good her perks are. It's really creepy, and I wish she was more openly done about the job around you. Even if her speech was deadpan or annoyed rather than customer servicey. I haven't gotten to her later stages yet, since other confidants are way more important, but of the adult women- she's.. kind of the worst as a position of authority, but the game brushes it off. I also kinda hate her attitude- ever since the beginning.

Devil: Yeah I was interested at first, but then the plot began and I noped out. I can tolerate temperance for the gameplay but this ain't it, buddy. The game straight up calls this out and treats it like a funny. Nope Nope Nope.

Tower: He's great actually, I love his lil' brother thing he has goin' on with Ren and how he fucks up but after talking with him, he gets it. He's a good kid, but he's got issues. the story with his mom is really interesting and the VA really sells him.

Star: I'm.. not sure how to feel about her yet. She seems nice. I'm not too deep in yet.

Moon: A great story actually, he might not be blorbo material for me but he's a really great character. He's got flaws, but he's got a good heart. I like how you don't steal his heart, but still have a heart-to-heart. Which is great for him. Real growth. Real good.

Sun: Surprisingly engaging! I reallllyyy liked it. Even when he texts you after the fact, he's still on your side. You really feel like he's firm on sticking to his own heart, and he's a great example of why the thieves do what they do and is a shining star (hey! wow!) and a solid pilliar of proof that people can change and that there are people who WANT change.

Judge: Not super sold on her, but she does well in her role. Apparently she was going to be your caretaker in the beta instead of Sojiro, which is a neat fact.

Faith: So far so good, I know she's royal exclusive, so we'll see where she goes. She's very pretty.

Councillor: He's really kind, but he's.. up to something. I'm very very interested to see what they do with him.

[3gremlins]

i foolishly started another playthrough of bg3 in the early access even tho the game comes out for realskies in like a week or so and i'll have get to make more characters/new pts anyway.

trying to make myself not be a pretty wood elf/half elf druid so rolled drow paladin (i'm def going to play a druid first once it's out for real tho b/c talk to animals is my favorite larian studios skill and i'm so sad without it. i just want to talk to all the animals and also wild shape!) and it's actually been pretty fun to just be tanky and whack things.

npcs are super rude to drow tho, it's real da elf and skyrim khajit/dunmer flashback hours (i don't love it? the fantasy race racism stand-in in rpg games always feels not terribly thoughtful? i realize it's b/c the source material has it but still idk there's got to be a better way and wotc/dnd is historically still not great at it)

i keep attempting to play a different type of character (i usually start to swing chaotic good no matter where i start lol), but it's difficult and also it's real hard not to flirt with astarion even if he disapproves of my kinda do-gooder paladin atm lol (i think b/c a character disproves sometimes my contrary nature takes the better of me b/c i'm like oh no but i want *them* to like me even tho everyone else approves or maybe b/c everyone else approves XD i've already romanced him & shadowheart tho, gotta try someone else's arc or proto arc as it were lol. BUT FLIRT WITH HOT KINDA STANDOFFISH ELF!!! i am weak T.T)

still wish you could set up the "what do you desire" character to be genderfluid and appear as both masc/femme forms. like my characters are all bi/pan! they're attracted to lots of people- idk if they've said anything about this? i haven't been watching *too* many dev videos b/c i don't want to spoil myself too much but i did some searching to see if it was mentioned anywhere yet and couldn't find anything (i did see that they'll have more body types for your tav at least in the final which is another small thing i dislike about the early access cc- even tho you can pick non binary as an id, you're still stuck w/ very binary body choices)

[thewapolls]

Here's a nice big funky family tree! They can be kind of a pain to map when they start crossing over thus much, but they're the most fun.

CRITTER is a classic wild arms enemy, having survived the whole series largely unchanged. It had the BIG CRITTER/JUMBO CRITTER relative in Wild Arms 2 and 3. Very probably a reference to the monsters of the 1986 movie, Critters, with their round heads and giant smiles.

IMP, and just the IMP... (I have a sneaking suspicion that the JAMMER IMP might have been a kind of legacy monster with how the IMP vanishes from the series and the JAMMER IMP first appears, but it would also wildly inflate the family tree, so I'm content to leave it off the list here.) Just a recolor of the CRITTER that seems to vanish after 2 games.

so funny enough DUERGAR is the first entry between these two, as it appeared in WA1 as a CRITTER recolor misromanized as "DUELGULL". It had a dark body and drills, which sort of makes sense, even if it's not very dwarf like. WA2 gives us the first KOBOLD and "DWERGAR" as a recolor. Kobolds being earth spirits, and Duergar being the evil "Gray Dwarves" of Dungeon & Dragons' underdark. The KOBOLD tho has a dramatic journey being designed over a few games, but it's also the branching point for a few unexpected family members, which we'll get back to in just a sec...

GREMLIN and LEPRECHAUN started off as a pair of recolors rooted in the GREMLIN as a mechanical saboteur like in WWII folklore/superstition(and not a reference to the horror movies). But after a very weird redesign in WA2, they got rolled into the CRITTER family starting with WA3 and stayed there. Somehow GREMLIN is the only other all star in this family, right along side CRITTER. (I take it I don't have to explain what a leprechaun is) They shared the unique gimmick of disabling your gun/ammunition based special attacks so long as they were in battle with you.

...so that KOBOLD model in WA3... It got used for a pair of unlikely recolors, the first of which is the franchise's first instance of the SPRIGGAN enemy that would become kind of a late series staple with multi-phase boss fights in both WA4 and 5. Mythological Spriggan are fae-like creatures dwelling in old ruins or burial sites guarding treasure, innately small but at times capable of growing in size, and in some accounts considered to be the ghosts of deceased giants.

...and the other was actually a return of the PANTAGRUEL, who'd shared a character model with IRONMAIDEN in WA2. PANTAGRUEL is a giant from the French satirical novel, Les Cinq livres des faits et dits de Gargantua et Pantagruel. Incidentally WA1 did have an enemy named GARGATUA, which could be considered a predecessor to PANTAGRUEL, but it was butchered in localization to GALGANCHER.

SCREAMER gets to be here... it's just a screaming bloody head.

WISEMAN was always been a weird enemy... At first a recolor of the giant head, but then one of the funky whack-a-mole in a manhole enemies?

BEAST PILLAR appears to be the core of the whack-a-mole model, although I have no idea where the enemy comes from otherwise. MANITOU I put here with it because it only has one game it appears in which BEAST PILLAR doesn't, and because it seems to be kind of a missing link where it inherits the fleshtone color as the BEAST PILLAR loses it and becomes a gray like the WISEMAN in Code F. In the real world, Manitou is a spiritual concept among some Algonquin native cultures that is actually relatively equitable to the Daoist concept of Chi; a sort of universal lifeforce, and building block of all things, but can also manifest as more specific mythic figures like Aasha Manitou: "Good spirits," Otshee Manitou: "Bad spirits," and even the Gitche Manitou:"Great Spirit."

IRONMAIDEN & RAIDBUSTER, started off sharing a neat random sword armed spider legged looking centaur thing. Not really clear what the design had to do with either monster. But then in WA2 IRONMAIDEN got the super appropriate new model with the big opening belly full of spikes/teeth(?) that is shared with PANTAGRUEL. After that though, both IRONMAIDEN and RAIDBUSTER showed up as these ball joint dolls in maid outfits, and stuck with that model for the rest of the series. RAIDBUSTER with her more fleshtone color palette is featured on the cover of the ADULT MAG enemy in WA4 and 5.

Oh shoot, I missed a rare RAID BUSTER/IRONMAIDEN recolor called COPELLIA., that only appeared in the Abyss eon of Code F. She is named after the ballet, Coppélia: La Fille aux Yeux d'Émail, and its titular character(?) a dancing automaton named Copellia.

[zenosanalytic]

hello there! i have no idea if you still answer classpect questions or do analysis upon request, so feel free to disregard this if you'd like, but do you have any ideas at all about what a muse of void would be like? i'm really stumped here - i agree pretty much entirely with your approach to classpecting, but i'm having a hard time wrapping my head around how one would "encourage the perpetuation" of void, especially in a way involving more than just secrets/obfuscation :T (1/2)

(2/2) i have a character i'm making who i've been considering bestowing the muse of void title upon due to their adamant refusal to fit well into any class other than muse. one of their defining traits is a disconnect from reality, which seems justifiable as being void-y, but i can't seem to connect the dots to see the full picture of how to tie that to the title. and i just really love your particular take on classpects so you were the first person i thought to ask. :)

HMMMMMM that's a real humdinger!

The problem with Void is that something which is, at core, Endless Possibility and Imagination and The Unknown can basically be Everything, which makes narrowing Difficult |:T

I guess the most obvious and immediate answer to what they would be perpetuating/perpetuating through is "Reality". Getting more specific we could go to The Furthest Ring, since The Ring is VERY strongly tied to Void in HS, and the process through which reality perpetuates itself(The Game) takes place WITHIN that void, but there are some other, smaller, ideas which suggest themselves as facets for Muse activity.

The Horror-Terrors, obvsl, as Void-Associated divinities which play some esoteric role in The Whole Business.

Dreams! The Dream-bubbles are in The Furthest Ring, and are produced by the Horror-Terrors so they're Void-themed. And, before the bubbles are created, The Players dream IN The Ring(which is Void) if they're dream-selves die. So, while it's indirect, I think the tie between Void and Dreams is pretty solid.

People/The Self! Bscl just running down the thread we're already on: People Dream, and Dream is associated with Void, so HS implies there's a connection btwn People/The Self(Heart Aspect) and Void. So a Muse of Void may encourage ppl to be themselves, or direct ppl, through their Core Drives and Identities, to perpetuate some facet of Void

Mystery! I know you already mentioned it but it's a fair one. A Muse of Void might perpetuate Secrets and Magic and Mystery; they may direct ppl away from finding things out, or prevent things from happening. That's pretty difficult to express narratively tho(tho HS has a few methods at hand for it like Timeline shenanigans and replaying storybeats)

Wonder! A Muse of Void might be someone who really Inspires others to Believe and Be Amazed in stuff, or acts ON that sense of wonder. 'Magician' might be a good archetype for a Muse of Void; Im thinking of the sort of like Stage-Magician-Who's-REALLY-a-REAL-WIZARD! trope here, or maybe the "so good they SEEM to be magic" type. Regardless: they would never reveal the trick uwu uwu

The Subconscious/Unconscious! This is more strongly tied to Rage but there's allot of overlap in the Aspects and Void def touches on this too. Idk exactly HOW you would "perpetuate/inspire/work-through the subconscious" in others, but maybe they're good at influencing ppl through/inspiring their impulses, or getting ppl to talk about their deep-dark feelings and confront their inner-challenges? Or maybe they just whack ppl in the heard with hammers allot. Making ppl unconscious is definitely "perpetuating the unconscious" :| :| :|

Magic! Kinda ties back into Wonder and Mystery, but maybe the Muse of Void seems to "give" people magic powers? Or maybe leads them into events which end in them "gaining" magic powers. It could be a good role for someone who guides others into playing The Game and realizing their Role; sort of like Jade at the start of Homestuck maybe? Or Rose smashing up John's house; Void IS associated with destruction(along with allot of other Aspects I mean: Jade sort of inspires Bec to kill HER OWN Dreamself with the meteor, foreshadowing BecNoir's later2nd-hand killing of her with the shaving cream bomb, so there's Space associating with Destruction)

One way you could do this, speaking more to the description you give of the character as "detached from reality", is have their detatched, Voidy actions be what 'inspires'(ie induces) other to act, rather than looking for ways to "inspire" or "perpetuate" void. You see this a bit with Calliope, how often she won't directly tell someone to do something or even intend to "inspire" an action but people will act off the things she tells/gives them; in this case it could be more like the Muse of Void spaces out, or forgets to do something or forgets to be somewhere/contact someone when they were supposed to, or is just being Impenetrable as usual, and how others react to this stuff ends up coincidentally driving the plot.

Another, more direct and alt!Calliopeish, way you could do it is through the removal of objects and people. Maybe the Muse deliberately hides, obfuscates, or misleads/misplaces someone or thing to prevent or cause a particular chain or events. Void characters also tend to have a bit of an overbearing personality, meaning 'overbearing personalities' are a void trait, so you could also have THAT be what "inspires, and perpetuates". It could also just directly be Void, in the sense of "voiding" the agency of those they are "inspiring" by bossing them around. In this way, a Muse of Void could come off very "active"(though, like I said, alt!Calli is already precedence for this through a different Aspect).

And that's about all the juice I have for conceptual poking and proding today ==.== I hope it helps, Anon ^v^

[thatoneidiotdts]

Sleeping (+morning routine) headcanons for some genshin boys

A/n: hello ladies and gentlemen I'm happy to announce that I may be back now that my life has decided to stop throwing endless shit at me. Now I also write for genshin so feel free to send asks in my inbox!!

Warnings: nightmares for xiao, favoritism in diluc's part, purposeful misspelling and slander in C*ilde's part,overall tooth rotting fluff

Zhong li

Sleeps like a rock (pun intended)

This man will not wake up unless there is an emergency

No matter how much noise you make or whatever is going on around him he'll stay there laying in bed completely silent

His breathing is so quiet you think he's dead half the time if not for his endless sleep talking

And you can actually have full on conversations with him while he's asleep

Also he sleeps in a solider position which leaves you to cling on him like a koala on a big ass tree

Sleeps in really soft bamboo pyjamas that you bought for him

Zhong li will only wake up at exactly 7:30 am no matter if it's a week day or a weekend/ his day off

He also doesn't stay in bed for more than 10 minutes unless as stated before its his day off and you aren't awake yet

The man will stay there taking in the sunshine rays from the window as he's looking at your peaceful face

After an hour or two hell rub your back and gently wake you up with forehead kisses while softly calling your name

When you finally wake up you usually start with the morning hygiene and whatnot

Also he will ask you if you want to take a morning bath together but absolutely respects you decision if you won't and you don't need to even give him a reason you declined in the first place but will make sure you know he loves you no matter what

After that he will sit down with you and drink tea and have breakfast with you for the next two hours

It's the only reason he wakes up so early

T̵̻̦̥͌͝e̸̟̗̮̮͌a̷̙͕͉̿̍͝

After that he goes to do his usual shift at the wangsheng funeral parlor

Venti

Menace to society

He either sleeps sprawled out in a starfish position with his arm and leg over your body or in a fetal position with his face buried in your breasts/chest

He usually sleeps in your clothes or in his everyday clothes

His little snores are super cute tho

Venti's snoring isn't super loud, it's actually really quiet but still there

Since he's a bard he stays at the Angel's share until it closes which is usually very late into the night so he sleeps until like 2pm

He isn't a heavy sleeper so you usually accidentally wake him up if you have some errands to run early in the morning

Venti will cling to you and pretend that he's asleep so that you can stay in bed with him

After like 20 minutes of this he finally let's you go and makes you promise him that you'll be back quickly

When you returned to your shared house from doing commissions you found him still sleeping in the bed so you quietly took a shower and snuggled in with him for another hour or two

After he finally wakes up for real this time he has breakfast lunch with you and goes off to Angel's share but not before giving you a thousand kisses

Kaeya

He's sleep schedule is ON POINT

He always gets back from Angel's share at exactly 1:00am, showers, eats and does his skin care routine and gets in bed around 1:30am

He also wakes up at exactly 9am but stays in bed until ten

He trashes through the night, he also talks in his sleep but it really weird and it's mostly things that are in English but you can't understand them at all

Kaeya is also a blanket snatcher and will snatch your blanket if you aren't holding it tightly

I feel like he also sleeps with socks on but has a few special pairs of socks that have some cute patterns that he would rather be caught working with the fatui by his own brother than wear them outside once

Also sleeps in silk pyjamas, doesn't care if the cotton ones are easier to breathe through, he likes the feeling of silk on his skin

Kaeya loves his personal space and he doesn't like to be touched while he sleeps but makes up for it when he's awake but still in bed

The only exception is when it's cold outside, I headcannon he's naturally cold and he doesn't like it at all

His morning routine is 90% of him taking care of his face and showering

His skincare routine is also more expensive than some people's houses so don't touch his products plz

Kaeya will gladly teach you the basics of skin care and will buy you your own products that thinks will suit your skin better

He's also almost late to work every day so every day you see him put on his shoes calmly, take in a deep breath and then he kisses you goodbye and runs off like a mad man in order to get to the headquarters on time

Diluc

He has so much unprocessed trauma I would be surprised is sleep schedule is anything but a mess

Diluc doesn't sleep a lot, he would have a normal sleep schedule but since he has a lot of stuff to do all the time it stops him from sleeping property

Not only does he work as a bartender at Angel's share when Charles can't he also works as the Mondstat's one and only Dark Night Hero

He usually comes home around 4 or 5 am and will only sleep until like 8 and you will have to force him to have a nap in the afternoon

Also he sleeps in his everyday clothing and he's sometimes too tired to even take his coat off

Diluc sleeps on his stomach which causes him to have back and neck problems but it's the only way he can actually fall asleep

He's a really light sleeper which also adds up to his sleeping problem

Also he snores loudly, like really loudly, and he only snores at night for some weird reason

You discovered that because one day you accidentally woke up at like 6 am and you couldn't fall back asleep because of his loud snoring but you didn't dare to move since you knew how little rest he gets

He's not a morning person at all, if he didn't hate alcohol, he would be the person that chugs half a bottle of vodka in the morning just to keep him awake

Diluc usually starts his morning off with some personal hygiene and then starts doing the endless paperwork without even having breakfast or anything to drink

So out will have to force him to eat and drink so that he doesn't pass out from work

On the rare days he doesn't have any work to do he usually sleeps them off to make up for the time he didn't sleep

Albedo

Chalk boy over here also has a terrible sleep schedule

He's not really forcing himself to stay up but rather doesn't realize how late it is

You will have to pull him out of his work in order for him to go to sleep

Albedo has a special pair of pyjamas that he wears when he's sleeping and he only wears them because for his last birthday Klee has given him a pair of pyjamas that were originally grey but she hand painted them herself with the help of Jean and Lisa and he's been sleeping in them ever since

And when i say every day I mean every day

But don't worry he hand washes them every two days and takes special care of them in order to not wash of the fabric paint

His snores are also really quiet and quite cute, I recommend commenting on that if you wanna see him blush ^-^

Albedo usually sleeps on his stomach but unlike Diluc he is small enough to not crush you under his weight so he usually sleeps with his head on your stomach or buried in your neck

Pease touch his hair he melts when you do

Albedo can sleep for a looonng time if you don't wake him up so he relies on you to wake him up or else he'll spend the next 16 hours in bed sleeping without a care in the wold

When he wake up he does his usual morning routine, which is usually a quick shower, breakfast, brushing his teeth and his hair out, and then goes off to work

He will absolutely make you have a nap with him in the afternoon or whenever he feels tired

Xiao

He doesn't sleep much, hell I don't this man sleeps at all sometimes

Adepti don't really require sleep or food like normal humans do

It took a lot of time for him to trust you enough to sleep besides him

Xiao doesn't feel safe while sleeping at all, he also fears that his karmic dept might take affect on you so he keeps his distance for quite some time

For the first month or two he would wear his normal every day clothes but then you gift him a cute plain green onesie and at first he straight up refused to put 'that thing' on but he gave in and hasn't sleep in anything else since

At first he would be the big spoon so that he can protect you from any harm but when you spooned him for the first time he felt so safe and warm he never wanted to let go of that feeling ever again

After that he would ask you under his breath if you could spoon him more often, you barely understood what he was saying but perfectly understood what he wanted and needed.

He also regularly has nightmares which causes him to trash around and maybe whack you in the face once or twice but you're quick to calm him down

Xiao never really realized that he was hurting you until he gently hugged you and you winced because he accidentally touched the small mark he left the previous night after having another nightmare

Doesn't touch you or sleep with you for a week after that, he already hurt you enough but you don't really care so you coaxed him into sleeping with you again very easily since he missed your warmth a lot

He doesn't really have a morning routine but he does wake up every morning before you so that he can teleport to the Huaguang Stone Forest to pick some Qingxin flowers for you

He's also gets back into your arms right before you wake up so that it seems like he never left in the first place

But you always notice the new fresh bouquet of the beautiful white flower on your desk and thank him for it

T*rtaglia

Listen here ok I'mma be real with y'all

Turbulence sleeps exactly one hour less than normal people but makes it seem like he gets like 2 hours of sleep per night

"Ugh I didn't sleep last night at all😩😏" Like bro stfu

He also makes jokes about sleeping so little because he was with you last night or that he was training so hard or doing a mountain of paper work

While you know damn well he was with you entire night sleeping like a baby right by your side

He sleeps naked solely so that one day when a hypothetical intruder gets into your home he can scare them off by yelling at them while being completely naked 💀

But he will put a pair of pyjamas on if you're uncomfortable

He mostly sleeps on his side because he needs to hold something while he's sleeping, if you aren't with him that night he will hug your pillow and sleep like that

Tagliatelle also doesn't like to sleep when in a cold room so he will have one of those water bottles that people use for back pain and will put one in the pillow he's holding and two in the blanket itself

He's totally a morning person and has no problem with getting out of the bed in less than like 10 minutes unless you ask him not to

If he has a day off he won't sleep in that much but he will curl up beside you and 'accidentally' place his head on your boobs/chest

Y'all saying Terrorism is the caring older brother? WRONG he's the forgotten middle child. we ofc know about Tonia, Anthon and Teucer but he also has two older brothers and at least one older sister

I feel like he's the middle child that had to take all the responsibilities when the older three/four moved out

So yeah he can make a damn fine breakfast for you without skipping a beat

But don't let me even start on his personal hygiene

Like shower are fine ok and he baths once a week only because he can but like

I know damn well his back teeth are ROTTING

He only uses mouthwash and brushes the front and bottom part of the teeth so that they look presentable meanwhile his back teeth got their souls sucked out

Moving on from that Tellurium can't really spend the whole morning with you so he will have to leave you late in the morning.

Coffee? :>

[chronically-fangirls]

Can someone plz explain to me what the actual fuck is going on with the Al Pacino fandom. Pacino Saturday was so much fun and even ppl outside of the fandom participated in it. Now we got hands on hips Thursday, chest hair Wednesday??

Something ridiculous for every day of the week spamming people’s feeds and now this sick joke people are pushing on disrespecting Pacino and De Niro? A joke is a joke but man I think we’re beyond it.

Finally someone who understands. I’m happy to see someone speaking up on the matter. My finger hurts from hitting the block button. All I wanted to say is that Pacino Saturday isn’t fun anymore. /:

Howdy nonnie, and welcome to the club!

Pacino Saturday was unfortunately destroyed by a bunch of half assed pricks who think they own Al and treat him like an object - hell, I think they even have more respect for real inanimate objects!

From just a day of reblogging the same 15 photos &gifsets from Dog Day Afternoon with the purpose of appreciating Al, this has become a disasterous clownary - shit like objectifying him, making bad memes (I'm not against memes, just against disrespect) , calling him names like "Asshole Pissino" (real story! I saw this and wanted to punch someone)... and ... the tip tip top of the whole party ....

SHIPPING HIM - A REAL, LIVING PERSON WITH FAMILY - WITH ROBERT DE NIRO - ANOTHER REAL, LIVING PERSON WITH FAMILY! this was the end of it for me.

I'm not against shipping in general, but y'know what I'm against?

Disrespecting, sexualising and mistreaing two award winning actors who are literally old enough to be their grandparents (I bet they respect their grandparents - actually I'm not so sure anymore!)

I'm also against making deepfake articles: take a look at this one (I checked, it ain't real. I fell for it too at the beginning)

I'm standing in line to bleach my own fucking eyes.

Say and do what you want, really, but don't get down into actually DEEPFAKING ARTICLES for the love of god! You're gonna make people think it's REAL and then what???? They and their families will be harrassed????? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF HAVING A *THOUGHT* BEFORE YOU ACT ON SOMETHING???

I mean. Even if it were real. None of it is our business!

I've also heard that some ppl deepfaked an Instagram post by Al (who doesn't even have social media).... repulsive.

And honestly. Don't even get me STARTED on how I'm personally hurt by all that as a Robert De Niro fan. I mean. It feels to me like they only use him as an object to achieve what they want - the fucking clownary around Al. They don't even care about him or appreciate him as an actor. Maybe they watched Taxi Driver or Joker once. Maybe.

This disrespect for me was over ALL the lines, and I started blocking people like Neil &Chris were shooting off everyone in that one scene in Heat. (I wanted to add a gif but tumblr has a tendency to whack any post I try to make which contains more than one photo or gif)

Sorry nonnie for going on about it (I could go on for another 10 hours I swear), but I had to let it out of my system - I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels like the "fans" have taken it too far and they're misbehaving in a real gross way. Al isn't even my main blorbo (I do stan him tho) and seeing how his "fans" mistreat him just boils my fucking BLOOD.

Shortly to say - welcome to the club, we must protect Al from all the tumblrinas! ✨️😔

I sincerely consider unblocking all of them to make them see this post. Not that it'd help - people just don't wanna change. We'll see 😌 thanks for reaching out nonnie 💕💕

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 21

First time reader click here

TWs/SUMMARY: Wanda fluff, Loki fluff, we're getting a whole ass friendship! Dad sucks. The outfits are neat tho! Check the end for a mood board 😍

a/n: dress inspo and aesthetic visuals can be found here, here and here. (Paolo Sebastian, Firefly Path gowns and Viona Ielegems photography).

"Gi-i-irl..." Wanda drawled, seeing me arrive with Tony, both of us freshly showered and still hazy from the amazing orgasms. God only knew what she'd seen in both of our heads - if judging only by the vivid, crimson blush she spouted, it was definitely something very NSFW. Bruce already sat at the dinner table, quietly slurping his soup, his back and shoulders the most relaxed I'd ever seen. He gave me a knowing smile once he noticed my presence in my usual spot by his side.

The rest of the team appeared completely oblivious, preoccupied by their food.

"So, about the party. Got any costume ideas?" I cut straight to the chase, unwilling to wait for Wanda to start asking for details right in front of everyone.

Steve, Bucky, Pietro, Thor and Natasha all answered affirmative, the latter whacking Clint upside the head and firmly stating "no funny business". I couldn't help but wonder what kind of crazy shit the Bird had in mind and was kind of disappointed at Nat's intervention. A good chaotic moment was always worthwhile in my opinion!

The other bird, Sam, approached Bruce with caution as he wondered if the scientist was interested in doing a paired costume with him, only to be interrupted by Tony declaring, with childish glee, he had a "wicked project" that he and Bruce would be doing together. The scientist gave a resigned sigh and apologized.

Sam wasn't deterred by the slight setback; he approached Clint instead and after being given an okay from Natasha, the Birds decided to pair up. As they should, if you'd ask me.

"I have a costume but I need some accessories. Wanda, Lokes, join me on my lil' shopping trip?" I prompted, wanting everybody to be included. I was fully prepared for Loki to scoff and dismiss my invitation but the Asgardian nodded after a second of brief speechlessness. Didn't anyone invite him to birthday parties as a kid? Either way, Thor gave me a grateful smile, like a proper big brother. Both Asgardians had grown visibly closer during the past couple of months which made me hide a secretive smile behind a spoonful of soup.

It turned out, Loki hadn't exactly been introduced to the buzzing beehive that is NYC. He didn't get out much and when he needed to be somewhere, the man simply teleported to the desired destination. As convenient as it must've been, I still expressed my outrage at his lack of experience doing the usual "touristy" things that, in my opinion, every non-newyorker was obligated to do when visiting. Yes, even if said visitor had literally traveled across different galaxies.

Wanda wasn't much better in terms of city knowledge. According to her, she'd lived here for several years already but never bothered to go beyond the borders of the block surrounding the Avengers tower. The witch didn't have friends outside of her teammates (therapy. they all needed so much therapy. y'all...) so she simply saw no point in going anywhere beyond the local mall.

Which was trash. I mean, I loved Hot Topic and Forever 21 as much as any other young adult with depression and anxiety but it was literally impossible to wear clothes made out of cheap cotton and polyester all the time. I'm pretty sure I would have hives and ulcers if I attempted that.

"We're going on Sixth Avenue and that's final. No friend of mine will be wearing shit from Wal-Mart at a Stark party," I interrupted Wanda's defensive stuttering, using my other hand to summon an Uber.

"That is good advice," Loki, previously silent, added in a sweet tone. I counted on the fashionable Asgardian to be on my side and with his schmoozing skills, I didn't even have to drag Wanda inside the car by, like, her hair or whatever. The three of us barely fit into the small Toyota anyway.

A thought struck me when I had to consciously avoid stepping on Loki's leather shoes and keep away my elbow from Wanda's stomach. "Mister? I'll give you a hundred bucks cash if you turn around and drive to this address," I hurriedly rattled off my home address, delighting in the way the driver nearly did a U-turn at the mention of crispy dollar bills.

We arrived home quickly. Wanda gaped in mild disbelief at the size of my house while Loki looked about as interested as he'd ever be. His face was akin to an expression one made while smelling fresh manure. Opening the garage, I was greeted with an unpleasant surprise of my dad's outrageously painted Corvette standing neatly by my white Range Rover.

Loki looked and felt considerably less tense in the back of my car. The subtle signs of discomfort all but left his face replaced by slight wonder as I explained how to adjust the temperature and turn on the heated seats.

Dad met us at the gates. "You didn't come in to say hello," He pouted. His breath reeked like a five-day drinking binge hangover and he looked a dead man.

"We're in a hurry, dad. There's a lot to be done," I replied curtly, hoping to get rid of him fast. I hated being sober around my drunk father. My fingers twitched on the steering wheel.

"You're like your mother, always busy," Dad's laugh was coarse and bitter. "But at least you find time for Stark and his friends. That'll do your future real good," He clapped once on the hood of my car, heading back to the house with a wave of his hand, just in time to miss the disgusted shudder that ran through me.

I knew my dad well enough to understand the implications of what he meant by his words. In his world, fucking way up to the top was considered the norm. I'd rather cut off my own foot than use Tony that way.

"Sorry you had to see that. I thought he was still in Cali," I gritted my teeth, pulling out of the driveway.

"I'm sorry you had to experience that. I have no kind words regarding your father," Loki's look was sympathetic in the rearview mirror.

"Or your mother," Wanda added, messing with her seatbelt. Loki nodded tersely.

"Aight, aight," I sighed, set on improving the mood. "Let's not poop this party. We're getting some absolutely delicious beverages and wasting my money on outrageous pretty things. My treat."

Wanda's protests were drowned out by Motorhead and Loki's grumbling was overshadowed by Guns'n'Roses. Their resistance didn't stand a chance. Few blocks out, the witch was singing along to November Rain, heavily accented and terribly off-key, and the Asgardian watched New York city intently behind the protection of the tinted rear windows of my ride. He seemed mesmerized by the crowds and the variety of colorful shop fronts. This was the the one and only reason I eased off the gas pedal and drove the speed limit for once.

The atmosphere was, well, magical. Looking at my two companions, I discovered the familiar city anew with every question they asked, every remark they made. The desire to ask in turn about their homelands melted like the tension I was harbouring after the run-in with my father. Content and warm, I had my attention divided between Loki and Wanda juggling their wonder back-and-forth between themselves and the absolutely crazy NYC traffic.

So what if I parked in a no-parking zone just to get us the most delicious coffee in the city? Loki, the resident tea person, ordered himself something unpronounceable, something that made the barista twitch. Wanda got a sugary-sounding vanilla-white chocolate perversion. I just got a mocha, having had outgrown my adolescent desires to experiment with "how sweet can I make this coffee before I literally puke?" beverages.

With a laugh, I instructed them to pose in front of the nearest reflective surface to brag about our coffees on Instagram - this café deserved more recognition. My companions reluctantly obliged.

I wonder if the barista realized just who had bought the coffee - Loki was quite a media darling when it came to fangirls. Tony's PR team did a wonderful job on the Asgardian's redemption arc. The trickster only fueled the utter devotion his fangirls had for him by being extra nice and charming in every video I've seen. I guess you can't out-mindcontrol manners outta somebody, he was raised a prince after all.

It wasn't raining but the autumn chill seeped into the tiny spaces between my layers of clothing. I already managed to regret my fashionable dark academia inspired outfit at least twice, however the matching vibe all three of us had was positively dashing. Loki, wearing his usual onyx black and dark green. Wanda with a burgundy sweater dress and thigh high platformed boots - sweater dresses, out of all things, had no business looking this good on anybody. But she pulled it off.

"You said you've got a costume. Mind sharing what it is?" The witch said, curiously peeking into the windows of a nearby vintage boutique as we took our leisurely stroll with steaming paper cups keeping our fingers warm.

"A fairy dress. It was custom made for me last year and I actually didn't get to wear it. I need some jewelry to go with it," I explained, stopping to show a photo of the dress on my smartphone. "And some shoes, too. Let's hope the party will be held completely indoors, otherwise I'll freeze my ass off."

"Custom made?" Wanda squeaked, looking at the garment in wonder. Loki gave a vaguely approving nod.

"Yeah, there's a company that makes these fantasy dresses. You want one? What did you have in mind for your costume anyway?" I switched the topic quickly, seeing how Wanda withdrew into herself slightly. I heard from Peter she grew up poor, in the middle of a war and I didn't want to make her feel bad or anything. I wasn't good at these things...

"I thought maybe I could match with you," She replied, slowly taking a sip of her coffee.

"Sure. There are a couple of shops with really cute dresses that fit the aesthetic." Marchesa. We need a Marchesa store. And a Zuhair Murad - if there was one on this stretch of road. "What about you, Lokes? Anything in particular strike your fancy?" I asked our silent companion, frantically googling the information I needed.

"Black," He answered moodily.

"Boo, you whore," I rolled my eyes at his scoff. We had watched the Mean Girls recently and he got the reference, immediately raising a sarcastic eyebrow. "You know, you could do so much with this pale aristocratic look you've got going on. How about a medieval vampire?"

"Like Lestat? He's fucking hot," Wanda and I understood each other promptly. She jumped on the bandwagon immediately.

Combining my blunt honesty and her adorable fawning over a fictional bloodsucker, we managed to convince Loki into going on a hunt for brocaded, velvet suits and blouses with ruffles for his look. The trickster revolted at the mere suggestion of procuring some fake fangs, instead magically making them appear and showing them off in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, much to my and Wanda's delighted shrieking. He looked, I daresay, very attractive, like a porcelain figurine. Delicate but dangerous.

We arrived at the store that showcased beautiful, airy dresses of silk, chiffon and tulle. The lace was delicate and the seams invisible. I ushered Wanda into a dressing room with a shop attendant that was quietly but strictly instructed to not discuss the cost of the dresses and hide the price tags.

"I want it to be a gift. My friend here deserves no less than a magical experience," I explained quietly, winking at a bewildered Loki.

"Why did you do that?" He asked once Wanda was given a selection of several dresses in flattering colours and led into a separate dressing room.

"These dresses, they're special so they're a bit pricey. And knowing Wanda, she'll make a scene and refuse to let me buy them for her," I idly twirled my phone in my hands. "But every girl wants to be a princess and it's kinda sad she never got to be one. It's more than just a dress, it's more than feeling pretty, although it's a big part of it. She'll feel on top of the world."

Loki nodded. I'm certain he didn't understand it - being a man and all - and I wasn't sure I understood it completely, too. I never lacked pretty or expensive things, always got whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. But for a moment, I thought how it must've been for Wanda - seeing all these girls on TV, looking like pictures - and never having the chance to experience that. A concept that made me so sad, I was tempted to ask the customer service person for a glass of scotch. Being poor sounded depressing as hell.

Suddenly, Loki's cool, large hand landed on mine. "Thank you. I am certain Wanda will be the most beautiful lady at the ball."

I stared at him. Loki understood.

"Well, I... I don't know how finicky you are on gender labels for clothes, but there were a couple of blouses you might want to check out. They've got the neck ruffles and shit." My throat suddenly seized up and I had to clear it before speaking, steering away from the uncomfortably emotional moment. Thankfully, Loki wandered off without as much as a word.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings  @vozit ​ @littlegasps ​ @pilloclock ​ @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads ​ @hermione-grangers-wife ​ @individualistfem ​ @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @cutenessloading @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie

& the promised aesthetic

[nomnom-mochi]

Dating Thor would include

-Pre-infinity war and Loki is a good guy because he deserves happiness and I will protect him...don't me.-

P.S. I just like this pic ehehhe

*Let's be very real here, he's very loud.

*he will loudly tell you what amuses him, what annoys him, everything.

*Mjolnir is just hanging by the coat rack and you don't understand why.

*when the other Avengers visit as a prank he will place Mjolnir on top of the toilet seat.

*he loves cuddles and he will not hesitate to pick you up and just hold you.

*lots of kisses before he goes somewhere, usually when he goes to asgard.

*Loki is actually your best friend and you laugh whenever he just prank stabs Thor.

* "beloved I am injured yet you laugh joyously? Why?"

* "Cause you always, and I mean it, you always fall for this. Stop picking up snakes goddamn it!"

* "But I like snakes."

* "SnEkU nOt LiKe YoU bOi!"

*Meeting Frigga when Thor finally takes you to Asgard.

*Being terrified of the all father...er...I mean Odin.

*Odin literally trying to show that he wouldn't eat you.

*Thor basically making you meet the Warriors three and sif.

*Sif being your sister like friend

*Frandral, Hogun, and Volstagg being very much like high schoolers with all the deets about Thor that they didn't know

*watching the sunset in Asgard

* "Thanks for taking me here Thor, its beautiful."

* "And yet nothing compares to your beauty my love."

* "You're a cheeseball."

* "You ruined our...what do you mortals call it? ahhh there, you ruined our moment."

*Him teaching you asgardian history.

*him teaching you how to fight.

*actually beating the shit out of those dark elves when they attacked Thor's friend Jane.

* "Hands off my other bestie you ugly elves."

* "Lady (Y/N) the dark elf is dead."

* "Hush sif...lemme just whack it some more to be sure."

* grieving for Frigga once she dies.

* comforting Odin, Thor and Loki as they grieve.

* Fighting the dark elves.

* Just plain on murdering them.

*Finding out about Hela when Odin dies.

* "Hi I'm your brother's girlfriend...please don't take this the wrong way but you're hot."

* "(Y/N) that's Loki and I's sister!"

* "She hot tho"

* panicking when you end up in sakaar.

*The grandmaster adopting you and calling you his child.

*watching Thor fight Bruce with Loki and the grandmaster.

* Escaping through the devil's anus and still laughing at Thor at his very confused self at the name of the opening.

*fighting hela's army of the undead

*seeing Thor in his badass moment.

* "daaaaaaammmmmnnnn that's my boyfriend ya'll."

* "Stop oggling my brother for a moment will you?"

* "Fine but only cause we're close."

*helping the asgardians escape from the destruction of their old home.

*travelling towards earth to start anew

-post infinity war-

*caring for Thor, Loki, Valkyrie and the remaining survivors of Asgard in New Asgard.

*Trying to help Thor feel better.

*Still loving him although he let himself go a bit...

***just saying fat Thor is so soft ahahah***

*Telling him to go help out the other Avengers rather than doing nothing other than wallow in self pity.

*Joining Thor as they all battle Thanos alongside all the Avengers, sorcerers, asgardians and aliens who have been affected by the Thanos snap.

*grieving for Tony's death and Thor trying to make Morgan laugh.

*Thor telling you he wants to join the guardians.

* "Well if it's going to help you find purpose once more, then sure. Just come visit me often."

* "I will my love. I can access the bifrost through Stormbreaker."

* "Good choice of making Valkyrie the new ruler."

* "Watch over her and Loki for me, wouldn't want my brother to kill my best friend."

*Thor visiting every three months.

*Thor getting back to his normal body type and finally taking your relationship to the next level.

*Just being the really goofy but understanding couple.

* Also Thor and you having your own Loki protection squad from the other Loki haters

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: [Airport selfie] Rio: That's the 2nd time I've dealt with your 'rents now, you so owe me Buster: How do you look that good right now Buster: I reckon you owe me for that glow, babe Buster: But yeah...name your terms Rio: 😊 Rio: Still worth it, even if we didn't get to finish properly 😒 Rio: I'll think on it, nothing that inspiring in duty free, like Buster: I should've pulled a sickie and come with you Buster: They can't be in both houses at once, like Rio: That'd be some intense hellicopter parenting that I don't think they're about Rio: Nance does not make the most of the freedom she has, like Buster: I'd rather they buy me a helicopter Buster: She might now that she has a girlfriend, I don't know and don't wanna Buster: If she could hang we'd be able to co-ordinate the parties 😒 Rio: Keep dreaming big, babe 😂 Rio: Ew, fair point Rio: sure she still spends most of her time at nan and grandads Rio: effort to feed yourself and be all alone in that big gaff Buster: It ain't Buster: She's got skills and a phone if she's too lazy to use 'em Buster: Such a waste Rio: Yeah but you know Rio: company's company Rio: but now she's got her gf maybe she'll change her mind, like you said Rio: gotta remember her name Buster: Grandad's a top bloke but come on 😂 Buster: Whatever Buster: Enough about my sister Rio: Rude Rio: What do you wanna talk about then? Buster: You Rio: My favourite subject, 'course 😏 Buster: When can you come back? Rio: Gotta get the rota then I'll let you know Rio: Can you make sure your parents are like, really fucking busy tho Rio: can't deal with an interruption again Buster: They were meant to be this weekend, but yeah, honestly if another meeting gets cancelled I'll make sure they don't get the memo Buster: I need you all to myself Buster: All weekend Rio: Forreal 😂 Rio: Sabotage that schedule Rio: don't they know we need every second we can grab, like Rio: not got time for a cuppa and a catch up, please Buster: I'll change the locks if I have to Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you Rio: What a cockblock of a weekend, like old times Buster: Yeah Buster: I don't miss that Rio: Only so long before exciting turns into frustrating, facts Buster: I'm not a doctor, like but I reckon there's only so long before you risk getting carpal tunnel Rio: 😂 Rio: Still time if you fancy it Rio: so knowledgable Buster: At least I can say it's all those essays I've done Buster: Not a decent excuse when you're blind with hairy palms Rio: You're so silly Buster: Tell it to the lads so they'll find somewhere else to hang Buster: I'm about to start wearing a purity ring so they stop throwing girls at me Rio: Reformed character, like Buster: I mean, I'm still 😈 just it's all for you Rio: Shame you can't hit 'em with that Rio: bigger laugh than the 💍 Buster: Don't Rio: Obviously not Rio: They aren't that bright, won't they buy a fucking Canadian girlfriend or whatever? Buster: Can't we just be real everyone Buster: with* Buster: Would it really be so fucking bad if they all knew? Rio: You're ready to find out? Buster: It's not like we're committing a crime Rio: Yeah but Rio: people are still going to think it's weird Rio: at best Buster: I don't care what anyone thinks Rio: Alright Rio: then tell all your friends rn Rio: you gotta live with it, like Buster: So what, you're daring me now? Buster: This isn't a game, Rio Buster: Even if you're playing one Rio: I ain't, I'm trying to show you what a bad idea it is Buster: Are you in this or not? Buster: 'Cause it sounds like you're playing for time like you don't reckon we can keep this up Rio: Of course I am, wouldn't have done it if I weren't Rio: but we can't just out it, like Rio: if you think it's hassle now, that'll be more, surely Buster: Why would it? We wouldn't have to sneak around anymore if everyone knows Rio: We would if the fam nopes on it that hard Rio: they might Buster: They could try Buster: Nobody can tell us what to do Rio: Babe, we'd still only be able to see each other at weekends, my odd weekdays off Rio: that's the main problem, still Buster: I know, alright Buster: I know Rio: that don't mean we can't make it work Buster: Until some other lad comes along who you can see when you want Buster: And isn't your fucking cousin, like Rio: You really reckon? Buster: Like you said, this is hassle, yeah? Rio: Fuck off Rio: Don't twist my words Buster: I'm asking, genuinely Buster: Do you still wanna do this or not? Rio: 'Course I fucking do Rio: I love you Rio: what you saying, you're over it? Buster: No Buster: I couldn't ever be over you Rio: Then don't be chatting that shit Buster: I'm just saying Buster: School's only just started basically Rio: I'd rather this than stop Rio: no, I can't stop Rio: right? that ain't changed Buster: Not for me Buster: I want you more if anything Buster: That's the fucking problem Rio: I know Rio: we just gotta do what we gotta do still Rio: there ain't an alternative that's just how it is Buster: Before you ever touched me I could handle just looking at you, I reckoned, for as long as, and then when you did I was like I've got this out of my system now, yeah? And any time I got to be with you after was a bonus Buster: But now Rio: Yeah Rio: Pretty much the plan Rio: but that ain't how it is, it ain't going away Rio: wanting you, needing you Buster: Yeah Buster: I love you so much Rio: Oh, Buster Rio: I love you too Buster: Hold onto it, okay? Rio: Promise Buster: Good Rio: it's shit now but it's gonna be so good you can't even imagine, okay? Buster: I know Buster: I've got plans, babe Buster: Just give me time Rio: I am Buster: You've got yours too Buster: So if we both stay busy Rio: Only way is up Rio: Serious, I wouldn't be steaking anything on you if I didn't think you were worth it, we was Rio: that ain't me, I don't do that Buster: Likewise Buster: I've broken enough of my rules for you to get that you're different Rio: Duh Rio: taking the bit slightly too far at this point otherwise Buster: So get on the plane and do what you gotta do, babe Buster: Including sending me that rota when you have it Rio: 👍 Rio: That's more like the daddy I know and love 😘 Buster: 👑 Rio: You know it Buster: We both do Rio: You're the best Rio: I ain't letting someone else have you Buster: Well good 'cause no other cunt is gonna take you from me either Rio: Nope Rio: All yours Buster: Say it again Rio: I'm yours Buster: Baby Rio: Mm? Buster: I just wanted to call you baby Rio: 😋 Carry on Rio: that's my favourite Buster: You're my favourite Buster: I'm so glad you're mine Rio: I still can't believe it, I swear Rio: ridiculous Buster: I know Buster: It's a headfuck Rio: Good one though Buster: 'Course Rio: Right answer boy 😉 Buster: Not just a pretty face, like Buster: I get A's 'cause I've got the answers Rio: Sure 🤓 Buster: I know exactly what you wanna hear, baby Rio: 😩 Rio: Then tell me Buster: Let me show you something first Buster: [Sends pics] Rio: Fuck Rio: You know I wanna turn around already and then you hit me with that Buster: I just want you to see what's waiting for you Buster: Come back now Rio: How does it feel to be so hot that you got me wanting to move my whole life out to be near you, like Rio: I can't handle it, ugh Buster: You can ask yourself that question any time, babe Buster: But first retrace your steps Buster: I'll buy you a new flight Rio: You really let me get to Heathrow before asking? Rio: Boy Buster: I was trying to behave Buster: Let you do your thing Rio: Still 😈 for me, remember? Buster: Yeah Rio: How bad do you want me back? Buster: It ain't want Buster: I need you back so bad Rio: Fuck it Rio: Give you a chance to finish what you started forreal Rio: not just leave me here turned on Buster: I'll come pick you up Rio: Okay Rio: Hurry, like Buster: Don't worry I'm getting a cab so you can have my full attention Rio: 😻 Rio: Good Rio: don't need to cause an accident, like Buster: If the driver can't keep his eyes on the road it ain't my fault Rio: You don't know Rio: might like you, babe Buster: If he could be looking at you and he's gone for me he shouldn't be driving Buster: Needs his eyes checked obviously Rio: You're such a charmer Rio: but actually, no sarcasm Buster: You're so beautiful Buster: Actually Rio: Stop Rio: Gonna get emotional Buster: You should hear it more Rio: It's not the word that comes to mind for most Buster: Forget them then Buster: Their loss, babe Buster: 'Cause you are Rio: I don't care Buster: I care so much Buster: About you Rio: I'm not going to question it 'cos I'm so glad you do Rio: and me too Buster: The cab's moving for once so I shouldn't be long Rio: 🙌 Buster: Entertain yourself as best you can, like Rio: Dirty boy Buster: 😏 Rio: You got me like that but departures lounge don't need to know it Buster: True you don't need a ban Buster: At least not from the closest one Rio: you reckon they'd put me on the no fly list? bit harsh Rio: not even a protest never mind act of terrorism Buster: 😂 Rio: best come bail me out Rio: your fault, only fair Buster: And no fun if they don't get the cuffs out, yeah? Rio: 'course 😻 Rio: but airport police have guns and that's a step too far in kinkiness for me, ngl Buster: Noted Buster: This ain't an episode of the Sopranos Rio: That's a whole mood aesthetically but I don't need to end up whacked, tah Buster: No argument from me Rio: 😂 Encouraging! Buster: What are you gonna do for real then? Rio: Hmm Rio: Any suggestions? Buster: Eat something Buster: You're gonna need all your energy Rio: Good idea Rio: plus you've done your gentlemanly thing for the day, no need to buy me dinner too Buster: Probably check out the duty free for real, can't be a total disappointment Buster: Babe you know I'll feed you whenever and whatever you want. Not a kink just love Rio: Yeah, always good for living lavish at half the price Rio: though imma need a wardrobe like yours if I'm hitting up the designers every week like 😏 Rio: I know, you daddy Buster: I'll set you one up in the one Nance ain't using Rio: Coming home to all my trashion Rio: gonna be so appalled 😂 Buster: Be hilarious to explain to her Buster: Rio's moving into your room, like Rio: No particular reason, you can keep your bed tho gurl Rio: wait, what Buster: Yeah like, she's also moving into mine Buster: Don't ask Rio: 😋 Rio: If she's anything like you, she wouldn't lmao Buster: We ain't alike, unlucky babe Rio: Umm Rio: 👌 Buster: Fuck off Rio: Babe 😂 Buster: Behave Rio: Not before I have to Buster: 😈 Buster: I'm not that far away so enjoy your jokes while you can Rio: I will Rio: almost as much as I'll enjoy my punishment, like Buster: Put it this way, it won't be the jokes you remember later Buster: The punishment you'll still feel Buster: 😏 Rio: 😩 Rio: Please Buster: Maybe when I can hear you properly I'll listen Rio: Ugh Rio: unfair Rio: at least tell me the traffic gods are still being kind Buster: They are Buster: I'll be with you soon Rio: Good Rio: Looks like I'm outta time to work on my best apology Rio: What a shame 😏 Buster: I can feel how sorry you are from here Buster: But feel free to still tell me if you think it's worth hearing Rio: And I'M all about manners, sure 😉 Buster: I've been spending to much time with you, obviously Buster: Take the blame, Cavante Rio: You wanna cancel next week, like? Rio: Forget the rota, nbd Buster: You might need the break once I've finally fucked you senseless without any interruptions Buster: But no Buster: I'll be ready for you then too Rio: I'll let you know afterwards Rio: Don't think you're getting rid of me that easy though, especially not if you do it like you say Buster: Don't you know by now that 1. I don't wanna be rid of you and 2. if anything it'll be even better than I say Buster: Modest to a fault as I am, like Rio: 'Course baby Rio: first thing that comes to mind, like Buster: Better not be the very first thing Rio: Okay Rio: first thing I can say out loud to anyone Buster: That's more like it Rio: Nearly got in the wrong cab Rio: Eager 😂 Buster: I'd have to go full movie moment and race after you until the chase down Rio: Got car chases and fight scenes on the brain Rio: Everyone knows the best bit of any Bond is the girl and the sex scene Buster: Believe me, that's not what I'm thinking about right now Buster: Happily in the majority agreeing about the sex scene Rio: I know Rio: wouldn't take the backseat of a cab over the driver's of your own if it was Buster: Get in Buster: The right car this time, like Rio: 😒 Hush Rio: Do my best Buster: I'll get out and pull you in Buster: Swear to god Rio: 😏 When he's willing to risk abduction charges for you Buster: Shhh Buster: You know I'd risk it all, babe Rio: Getting in before you can get any better, like Buster: Got the best already Rio: 😳

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: ⚰ knock knock Ali: do i need to get the ouija out Carly: yea Carly: tho bit late to ghost the lad in my bed Carly: idk who he is Ali: 🤠 put on a disguise Ali: like whomst Ali: beats having to leave your own gaff Ali: tho it is a crime scene Carly: got love bites from my arse to my elbow Carly: is he a vamp or what like Carly: i taste good i kno Carly: [sends photographic evidence] Ali: bitch Ali: are you anaemic?! Ali: leech sounds more like it but is he sparkly with good hair Carly: bitch its too early for words i cant spell wtf Carly: he is sparkling but thats my shine ha Carly: the hair is a no Ali: low on iron, probs, i'll get you some iron tablets Ali: taste like blood, don't tell your bedmate, he won't wanna leave Ali: party's over n sharing ain't caring Ali: someone's feeling herself this morning Ali: here for it Ali: I've already been left so that's a no to me Carly: party only ended when i passed out a few hours ago Carly: so yea Carly: was fun Carly: baby no come over Ali: was whilst it lasted for me too but you know Ali: duty calls Ali: you sure Ali: don't wanna break it up if you're good to go again Carly: yea Carly: not scared to go hard on site cuz garda are to come around Carly: i am but hes snoring Carly: & boring Carly: come Ali: perks Ali: check he's not bumped his head Ali: they'd have to come if a normie went missing Carly: nah he has to go before he goes for a slash in my bed Carly: lads are ming Ali: want me to forward that to lene Ali: make her day Ali: steal my girl Carly: do Carly: never seen her party before Carly: weird Ali: Yeah Ali: she can hang but Ali: you know, other shit on her mind Ali: work being one of 'em Ali: thank god I ain't working today Carly: & i cant get a job Carly: ha Carly: can get rid of this boy easy tho Carly: hold on Ali: another skill for the CV Carly: yea Carly: better not have knocked me up Carly: not cute Ali: Umm Ali: you need to go to the pharmacy Carly: theres so much shit on the floor i cant tell whats us & whats party Carly: idc Carly: idk Carly: ill ask him Ali: Lemme know Ali: if I could pick it up for you I would Ali: guess I can, put on a oscar winning show for the nosy bitch in there Ali: Ma will die Carly: ha Carly: its k he wouldnt have gone near me w out Carly: quoted Ali: what a prick Ali: better not be there when i show up cunt Carly: hes leaving Carly: screaming him awake will do that like Carly: ha Ali: what he get for passing out 🤷 Ali: coulda shaved his eyebrows off like Carly: next time maybe Ali: get out the sharpie and all Ali: now it's a party Carly: need your artsy talents tho Carly: me just hold up i need my baby Ali: you got it covered babe Ali: i believe in you Carly: aw Carly: i gotta clean me & this place need belief Ali: how long are your rents away and are there enough stragglers we can rope in Ali: twatface not included, bye Carly: idk but yea theres lads everywhere Carly: mattress is covered Ali: 👏 Ali: put 'em to work Carly: while i lie here k Ali: hmm Ali: no bitch Ali: i know you're princess 'round these parts but still Ali: carriage is back to being a pumpkin sweetie Carly: but im 🤒 Ali: you're hanging Ali: can't claim morning sickness now bitch Ali: chop chop Carly: ha Carly: k bitch Carly: honeymoon over yea Ali: will be if your 'rents come back to this and murder you Carly: idc Carly: be sweet to me Ali: awh baby Ali: only playing tough love Ali: thinking i'm spending too much time with my gf? Carly: yea Carly: i missed you when she stole you away Ali: how dare she 😜 Ali: missed you too tho Carly: youre mine Carly: married you first Carly: & you didnt say bye to me 😢 Ali: are you sure Ali: 'cos I ain't Ali: but how unforgivably rude 😰 Carly: id remember Carly: never forget my boo Ali: baby Carly: you can make it up to me tho Ali: oh yeah? Ali: lemme guess, feed u grapes whilst you recline Carly: nah just be here Ali: easy Ali: got to yoga first but then i'll be there Ali: went too hard with the dancing last night obvs Carly: k ill shower that lad off me Carly: i think you went just right baby Ali: too descriptive babe 😬😂 Ali: calm down with your creative ways Carly: ha Carly: you should hear me sext Carly: so good Ali: sure Ali: maybe works on the straight boys 😉 Carly: not trying to work on anyone else Carly: tell your gf if shes gonna come for me Ali: you're alright, not her type Ali: I barely am Ali: 50% like Carly: shit odds Carly: that why shes so angry Ali: as shit as yours Ali: just in reverse Ali: not saying you're both wrong but Carly: k Carly: cant all be perfect babe Carly: thats just you Ali: 💁 Carly: you kno Ali: ugh my brother's being so annoying Ali: bitch i'm coming down i will fight you Carly: which 1 Ali: dancing one Carly: hes fun Ali: glad you think so Ali: send him over instead yeah Carly: you come here & stay at yours Carly: i'll Ali: alright Ali: you're getting a rough deal soz Carly: why Ali: 'cos he's usually the alright one, so if he's testing me, wait 'til the rest rock up Carly: idc i can sleep through anything Ali: be my guest Carly: but i want you to be mine Carly: had to share last nite Ali: you done w sharing? Carly: yea Carly: im mad Ali: aww Ali: pouty princess Carly: [sends a pouty selfie] Carly: cuz its better when you stay Ali: you're so cute Ali: it's rude and i object Carly: just for you my baby Ali: 😏 such a tease Carly: nah Carly: you can have anything you want Ali: yeah yeah Ali: anything you want from the shops Carly: theres nothing here Carly: i cant do that to you Ali: okay, i'll get breakfast and cleaning shit Carly: theres no money tho Ali: i don't mind Ali: s'only breakfast Ali: IOU if you want but honestly Carly: you're too good to me & for me boo Ali: nah i'm not Ali: no one deserves to be treated like shit the morning after Carly: got me crying Ali: baby Ali: don't be sad Carly: come down is a bitch but youre an angel Ali: 💚 i know Ali: you've survived it many a time before though, you'll be okay Ali: especially when you get some food and hugs Carly: yea Carly: shouldve invited your brother to my party Carly: what a bitch i am Ali: no no, he ain't here, just blowing up my phone being dumb Ali: you're alright, sure you'll meet him when summers out and he's out on town being fabulous Carly: k didnt fuck up the 1st impression Carly: love the gays Carly: your gf excluded like Ali: he's stalked your socials and liked what he's seen Ali: not in a creepy way 'cos gay, of course Ali: awh 😂 why can't we all get along Carly: he can add me i wont send him nudes Carly: cuz she looks at me like she was willing me to hang this hard Ali: oh good to know 😜 Ali: not letting him though, he chats shite and if he's gonna I need to vet it Ali: deal with it boy, crazy posessive wife like Ali: she's just angry with me Carly: idk who lads are if i cant id them in my usual and not seen his dick Carly: my bad if nudes go where they shouldnt Carly: whats he saying about me Carly: who could be angry at you too beautiful Ali: me either for a while, like Ali: feel it's unfair to describe it from memory of having to bath together Ali: awks Ali: just that you're cute Ali: n fun, of course Ali: and a hoe with it 😜 so her, easily lol Carly: aw Carly: but you didnt snog ronan last nite he werent there Ali: nah but she thinks i'm making a twat out of myself with you Ali: tragic straight girl crush, like Carly: cant have a crush on your missus Carly: weve gone beyond it Carly: real love Ali: yeah Ali: but you know Carly: she thinks were gonna fuck Carly: 3way would sort that Ali: exactly Ali: can't on principle Ali: and even if we whack out the strapon, no real dick for you so Carly: list where ive been Carly: puts loads of people off Carly: she'll know youre not trying to get w me Ali: i'm not gonna do you like that Ali: fuck that Carly: idc Carly: do what youve gonna do boo Ali: i know you don't Ali: but i do Ali: fuck those people who are just mad they weren't higher up in the list Ali: s'why you weren't so jog on Carly: stop being so nice to me Carly: if youre mean she'll forget her jealousy Ali: i don't want to Ali: i can handle it Ali: if she can't then Ali: that's that, isn't it Carly: yea Carly: but i dont wanna start shit for you Ali: trust, you didn't start this Ali: it's easier for her to pretend that's all it is Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: if i was a lad id be fucked wouldnt i Ali: probably Ali: don't agree with that, it'd be the same but it'd be different in how she'd be able to deal, yeah Carly: thank god i grew some tits Ali: 😂 Ali: good job babe Carly: my ma was made up as well Carly: took a while like Carly: cant let her get the album out cuz i look like a lad Carly: pretty one tho Ali: you were always cute Ali: i remember Ali: grew into your ears and all 😉 Carly: aw Carly: do you tho? Ali: yeah, 'course Carly: you were always scrapping Carly: shouldve got w your gf then she'd like you more Ali: 😬 let us not think of how troubling the age gap woulda seemed then Ali: must've thought i was a right scouse stereotype Ali: bitches deserved it tho Carly: i thought you were cute Carly: & brave Carly: i was always behind my ma's legs Ali: like my sister Ali: I was always down for the more the merrier but her and Laoise said coven's had to be three so Ali: 🔮 number and all Ali: and tbh Laoise weren't that thrilled Ro was there, like Carly: black magic vibes from her forever Ali: legit Ali: shoulda been scrapping with her, like Carly: yea or fucking her first bf but i got there before you Carly: idk how she knew tho cuz he didnt tell anyone Ali: never lose that sixth sense, babe Ali: esp. when concerning keeping a man 🙄 Carly: did her a favor he was shit Carly: didnt have a clue what he was doing Carly: thought every virgin binge watched porn like Ali: 😂 Ali: have you ever binge watched? you're learning nothing of value from that shite Carly: yea but when youre bored youre bored Ali: I hear ya Ali: always bored Carly: me too Carly: & this sex drive isnt set for a cry wank or eye fuck Carly: no offence ma and da Ali: can't take it personally, lads Ali: ain't there's to try and control Carly: they gotta txt me back so i kno when they are coming home Carly: wtf got you two so busy Ali: all that sex they ain't having Carly: porn binge watch Carly: tho my dad likes reading his Ali: Can't beat a sticky page Ali: lost arm form Ali: art, lmao Ali: sure his form is grand Carly: doctor like howd you lose that arm Carly: epic cry wank Ali: 💪 on the right Ali: limp noodle on the other Carly: hot Ali: that's your father you're talking about Ali: no need to be that stereotypical Carly: shit my bad Ali: 😂 Ali: i love you bitch Carly: I love you too Carly: loads Carly: im mad at you again tho Ali: why what have i done>!> Carly: some1 came round the doorway & i thought it was you so i opened up but nah Carly: enjoy the eyeful lads Ali: oh babe Ali: 😏 bless you Carly: not gonna put clothes on for my girl Carly: waste of time Ali: obvs, charm you out so quick Ali: least it weren't the postie, or was it Ali: Ma reckons we were gonna get complaints, as if mother Carly: lad did deliver for me Carly: not letters tho Carly: least id showered Ali: gotta replenish Ali: you chasing off your comedown rn tho Carly: cant outrun that bitch Carly: some of the mas on site are mad tho you can tell yours Carly: state of their sons my bad Carly: should've kept em in if you were bothered Ali: oh great Ali: no you can't speak to the manager, piss off helen Carly: ha Carly: my da is gonna be in such a mood when he hears Carly: sorry you missed out Ali: parents Ali: not like anyone died Ali: calm it everyone Carly: dont want me to fuck on site dont want me to go off it Carly: talk sense Carly: other day you were trying to marry me off da Ali: just 'cos it brings people to his door Ali: soz to take you away from all the cranking but Carly: yea Carly: sorry im not hiding in the back like w i was little Ali: yeah Ali: too big for the caravan now baby Ali: need your own, how much is it to rent Carly: theyre on about it but the state on this one might change their minds Carly: im cleaning as fast as i can k Ali: we're gonna sort it, i am omw swear Ali: and i'm a parent pleaser so Ali: do the rounds, sweettalk to mothers Carly: he'll just take me back to the doctors like take her off the tablets shes too outgoing now thx Carly: another of your talents boo Ali: when the meds work TOO well Ali: but of course Carly: if he was around hed kno how shit they are Carly: ha Ali: 😔 Ali: baby Carly: its k just gotta double down Carly: pro now Ali: 💚 Carly: style the freakout out cuz ima bad bitch Carly: facts and talents Ali: no lies Ali: the baddest Carly: what we doing today that isnt boring Ali: you mean you ain't buzzing to make like kim and aggy Ali: rude, i'm living Carly: do anything w you but Carly: can only check you out every time you bend Ali: cheeky Ali: appaz imma check all of you out, like Carly: what you dont wanna Carly: your gf will be sad shes so wrong Ali: didn't say that but yeah Ali: hate to make her admit that as well, like Carly: ill tell her Ali: you gonna snitch on me Ali: 🍯 Carly: nah jk Carly: i like annoying her tho Ali: i know Ali: it is funny Ali: not taking sides but lol Carly: taking mine i kno Ali: shh Ali: there's no right or wrong here, babe Carly: k but you love me more Ali: its different Carly: maybe Ali: maybe huh Carly: idk she dont think it is Ali: yeah Ali: but we know the truth Carly: fact is we're ruling this place together Carly: no surprise shes jealous Ali: if the 👑 fits like Ali: soz babe Carly: & we fit Carly: cant fight it Ali: nope Ali: if it works it works Carly: yea & you work it better than anyone babe Ali: oh you Ali: save it for all the Ma's you gotta say soz to Ali: 💋 Carly: ha Carly: mine will kick my arse out if she gets on one better leave the mattress where it is Ali: not gonna come to that but always room for a lil one at ours Ali: i got you Carly: aw Carly: never had a sleepover when i was a kid Ali: 😧 then you gotta Ali: tbh they weren't all that always but you know mine were the best Carly: yea no doubt Carly: all the magic Ali: exactly, midnight snacks and scaring the shit out of each other Ali: can tell you who you gonna marry if you've got a tea light, like Carly: thats easy tho Carly: no1 Ali: alright then, excluding the fact we already is so rude, tbh Ali: i'll tell you who you next gonna bang Ali: same diff Carly: youre just gonna say you Carly: smooth Ali: please Ali: gimme some credit 😂 Carly: now i gotta kno Ali: we'll do it when i get there Ali: which will be soon Ali: got stuck chatting to an old lady in the shop Ali: assume she can't see or she'd have avoided me like hell 😂 bless her Carly: if its ronan again or his cousin dont tell me Carly: aw so cute Carly: youre the sweetest & prettiest ever Ali: i'll casually throw the wax in the bin like nothing to see here Ali: not this morning baby but 1/2 ain't bad #stillgotit Carly: tell me you see my death & run like k bye Carly: every morning Ali: you'd rather your literal death? they ain't THAT bad, predictable but like, damn Ali: that's some shade, feel the burn, lads Ali: so are you cutie Carly: idk but over ronan hard Carly: hes being such an arsehole to me Carly: cba Ali: don't Ali: ignore his Carly: yea but like im gonna see him even if i do Carly: fucking site life Ali: i kno but blank him Ali: nothing talks louder Ali: or if you gotta, be proper polite like he's a stranger Carly: ha yea Carly: amazing Ali: childish but so is he so Ali: two can play at that game Carly: youre right i kno Carly: ive deleted his txts so i cant show you but its k cuz youd be sad Carly: or mad Ali: i'm sure i could guess the gist Ali: you can tell me if you wanna talk about it though, i promise i won't go ripshit Carly: idc Carly: ive known him long so i didnt think hed go that hard but thats what lads are like Carly: he fucks around more than me too Ali: he's a hypocrite Ali: just 'cos he knows other lads can do it better Ali: he's just insecure, babe, ignore him Carly: i need a holiday from here Carly: but ma & da never take me w Ali: shit considering how many times they manage Ali: cut a hol off and you'd have enough funds lads Ali: maybe we can Carly: i did kick off last time cuz they didnt refill my prescription Carly: went crazy like Carly: wouldnt want that girl there either Ali: not your fault, that, though Ali: you were literally off your meds Carly: that they reckon i dont need tho Ali: if you didn't then you wouldn't act like that without Ali: simple as Carly: never thought of that Ali: we'll go, i promise Ali: even if it ain't far Carly: lets camp Carly: marshmallows are the shit Ali: hell yeah! Ali: let's find a cave forreal Carly: YEA Carly: dont fall over tho Ali: do my best 😂 Carly: you gotta Carly: only scaring me w ghost stories or whatever Ali: promise Carly: k we'll go Carly: 💙 Ali: 💚 done and done Ali: do you wanna bring anyone else or Carly: got my fave coming Carly: do you Ali: nah Ali: just wanna take you exploring Carly: k Carly: then you can Ali: 👌 Carly: id go now so whenever you want boo Ali: soon Ali: i'll work it out Carly: i kno Carly: got the belief Ali: 🔮 Carly: should get dressed or nothing'll get done Ali: awh Ali: you knew i just got here Carly: they arent on yet Carly: not that fast Ali: jk Ali: find me on the mattress when you're decent bitch Carly: baby no Carly: youll catch something off that Ali: sitting on the carrier bag Ali: always thinking Carly: so smart