#some of the side effects are obnoxious but i will say even on low doses of both meds i am doing better than i have done in years

[icepixie]

I love it when medical types treat the chart--or even the guidelines from some professional organization--instead of the person sitting in front of them.

My gyn retired this year, so I got assigned to a new one. Who promptly took me off the low-dose birth control I've been on for almost 10 years post-hysterectomy to control the bits of endometriosis still littering my abdomen. This is because I'm 40 and have (controlled!) high blood pressure. Apparently. Probably the "migraine" diagnosis that's going to follow me around forever despite not being true, never having been true, the problem was an infected tooth that presented weirdly doesn't help.

I get the existence of the guidelines (albeit they were devised before low-dose estrogen pills, which seem to have way fewer risks, but whatever). I do not get the unilateral application to me despite my earlier gyn's prescribing them, the decade of history that I do well on them, and that knowledge that progestin-only pills, which were the only other alternative offered, were a complete disaster.

(I took them in an effort to not get labeled uncooperative, but I've had them twice before and each time it not only didn't reduce pain, it made it happen twice as often.)*

The constant repetition of "But a hysterectomy always cures endometriosis!" was obnoxious too, because NO THE FUCK IT DOESN'T, READ SOME PAPERS, and it definitely didn't for me. Is that week of the month better without That Uterus Bitch and The Evil Ovary? Sure. Doesn't mean it's pain free. Also, a delay in filling my bc prescription earlier this year made my arthritis flare, so that may or may not now be a monthly (or every-two-weekly, on the minipill) thing. I wonder how the low-dose combined pill compares to a week of steroids every month for...every health measure out there? Favorably, I'd imagine. Maybe I can get my rheumatologist to weigh in on this.

Anyway, I'm obviously never going back to this person, but I'm not looking forward to auditioning gyns until I find someone who can do more complex risk/benefit assessment than "guidelines say bad." I guess I'll give the minipill a month to "work," because you gotta put up a facade of pretending you don't know more about this extremely specific issue than the doc. I'm debating whether to actually take it or just say I did, since, you know, it makes things worse than doing nothing.

Tangentially, if we could have these doctor-patient talks BEFORE I have to take all of my clothes off and sit there holding a gaping gown closed, that would be awesome.

I'm just so tired of things in my body breaking. (Or, in this case, not breaking, just having the tool that keeps it from breaking taken away.) Also, I can't help wondering how godawful menopause "treatment" is going to be, whenever that happens.

* Almost forgot, Lupron was mentioned as an alternative, and FUCK, no. My last boss was a gyn and when it was being bandied about for my endo before the hysterectomy she told me point blank to never go on it. Brain damage is a side effect I'd like to avoid, thanks.

[scope-dogg]

Long post about Mass Effect below

I noticed that there’s a big mass effect trilogy remaster coming out and it just made me think back on how badly the ball was dropped with that series. When the first game came out it immediately became perhaps my favourite game of all time, it was the kind of game where I was tearing up at the ending and then immediately started up a new playthrough the instant the credits got done rolling. The game was extremely jank and rough around the edges and it ran like total shit on the 360, but I loved it anyway because I fell in love with the lore of the universe, the characters and the story. It was one of those games where I’d play it in the most obsessively completionist manner possible, doing every singe sidequest possible, talking to every character on the ship after every mission, browsing the ingame codex for hours on end and dosing up on lore. When it was confirmed that Mass Effect 2 was in development I had such high hopes, of course I wanted to see the gameplay tightened up and the technical side of things improved, but more than that I just wanted to see more of the universe, get more of the universe to explore and learn more about it, and I was especially excited at the possibility that the choices I’d made, especially the massive ones in regards to the council at the end of ME1, would carry forward and really shake up the way the fate of the universe would pan out in the long term.

When the game finally came out, I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t really what I was hoping for. While the combat was much improved over ME1, I couldn’t help but feel like everything else was pared back too much - like, levelling and loot in ME1 weren’t all that well done but I was still really disappointed to see how they were all but stripped out in the sequel. I especially hated how crap sidequests on uncharted worlds were, they were basically just short combat sections with almost nothing in the way of meaningful dialogue or choices to make. Like, don’t get me wrong, uncharted worlds in ME1 felt like the maps were procedurally generated and the Mako had wacky controls, but they still managed to pull off the right atmosphere of going to these dangerous and remote places on alien worlds, and there was some legitimately intriguing stuff going on in some of those sidequests, and it was honestly a little infuriating to see all that basically get the axe entirely instead of getting some polish. I also just felt like the additions to the lore and story were disappointing. I was excited to find out about how society in the Terminus systems was different from Citadel space and meet some new alien races, but that didn’t really happen - I guess they tried with Omega, but that just felt like a mildly edgier version of the Citadel. The only new alien race aside from the Collectors they introduced were the Vorcha and I guess the Batarians if you didn’t play the DLC for ME1, but neither ended up being all that interesting. People remember ME2′s story fondly because of the characters, and I agree that the characters are great, Legion and Mordin especially stand out though all of your squadmates and major supporting characters on the ship are great (except maybe Jacob I guess) as are each of their accompanying stories that get resolved through their loyalty missions, but I think that the actual core plot of ME2 isn’t good at all. The whole thing about you dying and coming back to life seems like it was done just to have the excuse of having a timeskip happen, and I never felt particularly compelled by the Illusive Man or Cerberus as a faction - they were in a sidequest chain in ME1 technically but I still felt like they kind of came out of nowhere and never really fit into the grand scheme of things properly - there’s nothing that they really enable Shepard to do differently that wouldn’t have already been justified by you being a Spectre. The revelations about the Collectors and ultimately what they were doing with the colonists they were kidnapping felt really stupid and pointless apart from giving you an excuse to have a really cheesy and out-of-place final boss. The final mission was only exciting because of the tension of potentially losing one or more of your squadmates than because of what the actual consquences of failure for the galaxy were if you failed. There was no compelling antagonist to square off against like Saren in ME1, and ultimately the whole thing felt kind of pointless - it wasn’t until later after the trilogy was done that I realised that you could take ME2 out of the equation entirely and it wouldn’t make that much difference, but even in those moments as the credits were rolling after I beat the game for the first time, I was struggling to make up my mind about whether I’d actually enjoyed the game or not. I mean, it wasn’t like the game was bad or anything but I was thinking more about the opportunities that they missed rather than the good things they added. I was really missing that sense of discovery and exploring an alien galaxy that the first game had and got left by the wayside for the second. I did start up a new playthrough after that like I did with ME1 but IIRC I didn’t bother finishing that playthrough.

Then along came ME3. Everything about that game is depressing. The whole path of the plot and just the unrelenting apocalyptic tone of the game in general feels like it’s actively punishing you if you actually like the setting, characters, lore and so on and so forth. I know a lot of people like the Citadel DLC that they released because it lightened the tone a bit, but even with that I find it hard to set aside the fact that the universe is literally ending while you’re trying to take a break from it all with how hard the rest of the game beats you over the head with it. How bad the endings were even with the “fix” DLC that got added is a horse that’s been thoroughly beaten to death by now, but it’s not just the endings either. I already didn’t like the Illusive Man or Cerberus and had a hard time buying them as an organisation with the kind of reach and pull they had as portrayed in ME2, but seeing them turn into the Hellghast in ME3 not only betrays that portrayal of them as an org that works through subterfuge but also stretches my disbelief beyond breaking point, plus it brings you into contact with Kai Leng who has to be up there as one of the most obnoxious rival characters in any videogame ever. Otherwise, it did a few things that ME2 did slightly better and some things slightly worse, and didn’t really do anything to recapture the stuff that made ME1 so memorable to me that ME2 skipped out on. And then there was the way that Javik, the game’s most interesting new squadmate by far, was preorder DLC, and then there was the multiplayer that you were kinda forced into playing if you wanted the best ending in the singleplayer (for all the difference that made) and was riddled with lootbox microtransactions (the first major implementation of that in a AAA game IIRC.) The coup de grace for me was when dipshit vidya journalists circled the wagons around Bioware and were taking a dump on angry and disappointed fans who were demanding a change to the ending. Like, looking back I think there was a lot of histrionics involved with that from the fanbase, and let’s just say that the Bioware fanbase has earned a reputation for being particularly turbulent, but even so I really couldn’t stand the attitude that they were taking and it made me hate the game itself by proxy that much more. (I honestly think that entire saga set the stage for Gamergate two years later.)

Eventually when ME Andromeda ended up being a stillborn flop, it didn’t even really move the needle for me that much because ME3 had already set the bar so low. Worse though is that the first game was retrospectively ruined for me. Like I said earlier, I was a hyperfan for that game when it came out, but now I can’t go back to it without thinking about the disappointments that followed it, and its flaws stand out extra hard now. After I beat it for the first time it was my number 1, now I’m not sure it’s in the top 10. There’s probably the added factor that I played it to death and know it almost off by heart which takes the shine away, but that’s also the case for some of my other all-time favourites like Metroid Prime 1 and 2, Ace Combat 2, or Command and Conquer Red Alert 2, but those never really dropped in my estimation the way Mass Effect did. Honestly to this day I’m still waiting for someone to do another star-hopping sci-fi RPG in the same vein as Mass Effect and to pull it off well, because at this point I’m all but certain that it’s not going to be Bioware that does it, not with the new one they’ve got coming in the works or the trilogy remaster.

[onewfantaesy]

Maledictus AU

Despite Jongin and Taemin quickly becoming best friends, their brothers still torment Taemin relentlessly. It’s the day after the full moon, and he’s exhausted and sore - side effects of having the transformation only once a month - and they start calling him Maledictus again in the hallway between classes.

But having a Gryffindor Uncle - Minho - has its perks, as Taemin’s learned several not-so-approved spells to use on people who are mean to him. So when he’s around the corner, he sends a nasty jinx Chanyeol’s way. The fourth year has proven to be the meanest of Taemin’s brothers, and coincidentally he funnest one to get back at. He’s very reactive, as the yelps from the jinx prove. Taemin chuckles and bolts down the hall to get to class before they can retaliate.

It seems like they’ve grown bored with simply calling him Maledictus, though, and Taemin finds out the hard way. Because the next morning, he can’t find a single one of his potions. He starts to panic, because maybe he just misplaced them. He still had a week-and-half doses of the potion left, he can’t be out already, and Kibum wasn’t scheduled to send anymore until that Saturday. It’s only Wednesday, he can’t go three whole days without his potion, he just can’t.

He ransacks the entire dorm room, turns everything topsy-turvy to try and find his potions, threatens his roommates for answers they don’t have on who took them or who hid them. It gets him nowhere, and he’s running full speed to the Hospital Wing as soon as he realizes that. Maybe the mediwitch has extras. Maybe she can call Kibum and get more.

Except she doesn’t seem to take him seriously, and tells him he must have misplaced the potions.

“No one would steal your potions,” she says, waving a hand. “Check your dorm room again.”

“But they’re not there!” he tries to tell her. “I need to take it now!”

She doesn’t listen. He spends all day skipping class to search every inch of his dorm and the common room, but comes up empty. His friends and his roommates and his House mates are all concerned, all trying to help, but no one can find them.

“What did you do?” Taemin asks in a dangerously low voice, moving to corner Jongin in the hallway. “What did you do to my potions?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Jongin says, his voice going high.

“Bullshit!” Taemin screams. “You took them! You snuck into our dorm and took them!”

“No I didn’t! I swear!”

“I hate you!” Taemin screams in Jongin’s face. “I hate you and I hate you stupid brothers and I hate your stupid family!”

Chanyeol and two of the other brothers arrive then, shoving Taemin onto the floor, calling him Maledictus. Laughing. Taunting him.

“Give them back!” Taemin demands, pushing himself. “Give them back now!”

“What? These?” Chanyeol asks, laughing and holding up an empty potions vial. “Here, take them.”

And he tosses it at Taemin, the glass shattering at his feet. Taemin starts to really panic then, his hands grasping at the front of his robes, his eyes wide and frozen as he stares at the broken glass.

“What did you do?” Jongin asks. When he tries to move to hit Chanyeol, another brother holds I’m back. “What did you do to him!”

“Better run, Maledictus,” Chanyeol says, laughing. “It’s almost sundown.”

Taemin turns then, looking out a window, his whole body turning ice cold when he sees the sun is just about to set.

“And you know what I hear is fun to hunt?” Chanyeol taunts. “Snakes.”

Taemin bolts then, running as fast as he can, anywhere his feet will take him. Chanyeol is laughing obnoxiously, already starting to run after him, and Jongin is screaming for them to stop and to leave Taemin alone.

Taemin screams as his body transforms into a snake, his bones cracking and joints popping, the pain coursing through him a thousand times worse than he’s ever remembered. And Chanyeol’s laugh echoes in the hallway as several students scream at the sight of a giant snake slithering along the castle floors.

Chanyeol and several of the brothers chase Taemin all night, never leaving him alone, throwing hexes and jinxes and slicing spells at him. He couldn’t even go back to the common room, one of the brothers keeping watch in the only corridor that leads to the Hufflepuff dorms. He doesn’t get a moment’s rest the entire night, until the wee hours of the morning, just before sunrise. When he slithers into the only open office he can find.

Of course it’s Sooman’s. And as soon as Taemin enters, a bookshelf moves and he Professor is stepping through from his private quarters.

It’s just as Taemin transforms back, and he’s screaming and shaking and writhing on the floor in front of the man he fears the most. Everything hurts. He’s covered in cuts and burns, some of them magical and some just from the stone of the castle floors, and he can’t catch his breath.

“Stop stop stop,” Taemin begs, trying to push himself away from where the man kneels in front of him. “Please. Please stop.”

“Why were you a snake?” the man growls. “You’re supposed to keep that under control.”

“They took my potions,” Taemin cries, still trying to get away from him.

“Who did? Your roommates?”

Taemin just shakes his head, and he noticeably flinches and starts shaking when Chanyeol’s laugh echoes into the room. He can just barely hear Sooman sigh over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears.

“You’re covered in cuts,” Sooman says. “Stay still.”

“No no no!” Taemin screams, moving back against the wall, and he gasps and fumbles for the amulet around his neck. “I wanna go home, I wanna go home. Please, please, I wanna go home.”

“This will help,” Sooman says, and he uses a dropper to put a potion into a large scrape on Taemin’s neck.

But instead of healing it, it only burns. Taemin screams, and he curls up and grabs the amulet with both hands, pleading, “Daddy, Daddy I wanna come home. Daddy, please. Please it hurts.”

Sooman himself is panicking, because this jar is supposed to be a simple healing potion, why isn’t it working, why is it only causing more pain?

Jongin runs in then, still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, looking disheveled and panicked.

“Dad! Dad they’re - Taemin!”

And he runs and slides next to Taemin, falling on his knees, bruising them on the hard floor, and using gentle hands to hold Taemin’s head.

“What is going on?” Sooman demands.

“They took his potions and they’ve been torturing him all night and they put me in a body bind and they hurt my Taemin!” Jongin cries, hugging Taemin close.

And the clusterfuck of a morning only gets worse when a distraught Kibum rushes in followed by a flustered Headmaster.

“What the fuck did you do to my son?” Kibum spits, pulling Taemin close and holding his wand out towards Sooman. But Kibum turns back to Taemin when he starts crying more, when he realizes Taemin is bleeding, and he moves back Taemin’s robes and his shirt to find several pieces of glass stuck in his abdomen.

“It’s alright,” Kibum says quickly, muttering spells to take the glass. “It’s okay, Daddy’s here. Everything’s going to be alright.”

“Why can’t you just kill me?” Taemin asks between desperate sobs. “I don’t wanna be a snake, I don’t.”

A strangled cry leaves Jongin then, and he dives into Sooman’s side as Chanyeol and two of the other brothers finally walk inside. Sooman holds one arm around Jongin and the other up to keep the older boys back, a stern look on his face. The three older boys all step back, looking nervous now at the sight of their father and the Headmaster, but not daring to run away.

“Kill me,” Taemin begs. “Please.”

“Do you remember,” Kibum asks in a thick, shaking voice, “Do you remember when you first asked me that? Do you remember that day?”

“Yes,” Taemin cries.

“Do you remember how I said I would never, ever hurt you?” Kibum asks him softly, leaning down so his face was next to Taemin’s ear. “Because this is not your fault. You are not bad. You are not evil. You are a very good person who has had a lot of bad things happen to them. You were born with a curse, but that does not make you a curse.”

“I want to be normal,” Taemin begs, not opening his eyes, not moving from where Kibum has him held tight to his chest.

“I know,” Kibum whispers. “I know.”

He holds Taemin for a few minutes like that, rocking him back and forth, trying to calm him down. And when Taemin’s cries turn from desperate sobs into shaking gasps, he runs a thumb over Taemin’s cheek.

“I’m going to put you to sleep now,” Kibum says gently.

“No! No,” Taemin shrieks, a shaky hand moving up to grasp at Kibum’s wrist.

“It’s okay,” Kibum says quickly. “It’s daytime now. You’re not going to turn into a snake.”

“Don’t leave,” Taemin begs.

“I’m not leaving,” Kibum whispers. “I’m just going to put you to sleep so I can get you patched up, so you won’t feel anything. And then we’re going home.”

“Wanna go home now,” Taemin says.

“It will be okay,” Kibum says gently. ���Everything will be okay. I promise.”

Taemin slowly lets go of Kibum’s wrist, manages to calm down a bit, and then Kibum whispers the spells to put Taemin to sleep. After he uses another couple healing spells, he holds Taemin tight to his chest and turns to glare at sorry excuse of a family still in the room.

The Headmaster ushers him out before he can say anything he might regret, and he takes the floo in the Headmaster’s office to travel home, Taemin still tucked in his arms.

[alyssa-ward]

Interjections and Interludes

[ Following Vynette’s Request ]

Alyssa considers for a time if she wishes to interject her thoughts. A simple problem with an endless timeless existence as nothing more than a mental energy trapped in a weapon...with no other way to influence the world, ‘yes’ is the answer she almost always comes to when she tries to decide if she wants to add her input. "I know you've thought about it." 

In this case, the input has to do with Vynette. After so much time in the Dagger, Alyssa’s ability to feel and detect bits of the world outside of it around her has grown. Enough to even start picking up snatches of conversation other than Kat’s side of things. "Is there anyone you wish to see?"

"No," Kat answers adamantly. "That's half the fucking problem with these idiots jumping at the chance to cross the veil— dredging up old memories and opening old wounds, and for what? All it does is show who is stuck in the past."

It’s a very Kat response. "Some people want closure...some people are stuck in the past, maybe they hope to escape it that way." It’s impossible to have this conversation without thinking about her own Mother. Celeste has been an entity on Alyssa’s mind almost all of her adult life. Would speaking with her be closure? Or just re-opening pain.

"Closure?" Kat scoffs. "Make your closure in life. There is no escape that way, only the re-living of pain, heartache, and a new cycle of grief."

"Not like the gate is going to stay open forever I'm sure, eventually they'd have to say goodbye again..." Alyssa’s agreement doesn't sound entirely confident. It’s easy to judge from her current position, but if she was still alive, still had her body, would she so easily remain on this side of the veil when the opportunity was there?

Kat’s words cut through her thoughts. “The Shadowlands is the realm of the dead, not meant for mortal eyes. The consequences of prolonged exposure are unknown."

A hint of a smirk from the Warlock, as she sits in her grove, taking in the corrupted trees around her. Gaze shifts off of them to look into the clearing that houses Kat’s soul, twisting chaos of light and void in ever combative chaos. "Power with unknown consequences has never stopped either of us."

"That isn't power, it's fully immersing your body into a new plane of existence."

"That doesn't mean there's nothing to take that could be found over there. I'm not advocating you go, I was just curious." Alyssa pauses, and then adds an admission, "if anything, if you were going to, I'd want to stay behind. I don't care to risk the land of the dead latching onto what's left of me in here." That there is the part that makes any thoughts of finding her mother moot. If the Shadowlands is the place of souls, hers, out of its body as it is, could be forfeit on crossing that line.

"My job is here, not there. I have no reason to go without jeopardizing my career." Kat states, pointedly.

Pandaria. Uldum. How many other places far from Stormwind and its concerns have Kat’s drive for power taken her? "Was that justifiable when..." Alyssa trails off. It’s not worth it. "Nevermind. I know you weren't yourself. Anyway, good, this seems like the wisest course. It's nice when we agree on those, when it happens."

The tension and bristle from Kat rushes across the link. Alyssa touched a nerve, not surprising, she lets the woman who wields her bristle in silence for a few moments, letting the moment gloss past before she risks speaking again.

Besides, Vynette was the actual topic of this conversation. "Your agent. You risk her loyalty if you say no, you risk it in a different way if you say yes."

"How very astute of you. Thank you for stating a fact I already know." Kat bites back. Alyssa attempts to organize her thoughts once more. It should’ve been obvious that that was, well, obvious, yet increasingly the Warlock in the blade finds her coherent thoughts scattered. A mix of organizing them without the concept of time to anchor them, and general lack of cohesion.

"You're welcome," Alyssa replies sarcastically, covering over her concerns at the way she’s expressing herself. "I think you should make her stay. She'll get over it, why open old wounds and risk the possible effects of the Shadowlands?"

Kat’s physical eye roll is tangible in the spiritual plane. "Then I have to deal with the trust argument. This is more a matter of security than it is anything else."

Trust. What an obnoxious issue to fight with. Alyssa makes a sound that is more of a grunt of annoyance across the link. "This is why I summoned demons. Trust wasn't a factor and their loyalty was uncomplicated."

"It's not her loyalty that I'm concerned about."

The mental equivalent of a lifted eyebrow across the link. A touch of surprise and confusion from Alyssa. "What is? If she's loyal, doesn't the rest follow?"

"The former master is what bothers me...and that she still refers to him as such."

"Another reason not to let her go. If she's so willing to go running when he calls, she might bend the rest of the way." Once more Alyssa states the obvious, and tries to remember the exact order of the conversation so far to understand if she’s already said as much, or if Kat has earlier...or did it happen in the conversation between Kat and Vyn? Everything feels increasingly out of order.

"I'm aware. I don't think she would, but she's also quite susceptible to manipulation which this master likely knows. She may not realize it before it's too late."

"She seems so. She's a good enough Agent that it's important to you to keep her around though...so keep her around. I don't see the reason to risk it." If there’s one thing Alyssa’s good at seeing in others, it’s how easy they might be to manipulate. She may not often understand their emotions, but she reads that quite well.

Kat broadcasts only frustration across the link however, not responding to Alyssa’s words again. The Warlock has done this dance with Kat enough times to know when she needs to ease off. “You need a drink.”

"No shit." Kat’s response brings a chuckle, if a tired one from Aly.

"I need a drink." Ah to remember what things like that are even like. Alcohol is a release she’s not afforded anymore.

"I can probably find some sod in an Old Town alley." Kat’s tone suggests it’s sarcasm, but it’s enough to make Alyssa genuinely consider it. Would a drunken soul give her a similar escape for a bit?

She groans, forcing the thought away. "Tempting but if I want to make a go of this being better thing, let's keep human souls off the table."

"I wasn't serious, but good to hear." Kat’s response suggests she doesn’t wholly believe Alyssa’s desire to be better, but then...when has she?

"The low doses of Azerite are working. No reason to change." A pause, and Alyssa adds one more question that she's been waiting to ask. "Now that things are settling, have you heard if my father and brother made it?"

"They're fine. Miles is skulking around the office I'm sure, and I'm sure your brother probably has an elf bent over a mattress somewhere."

"I definitely didn't need that detail." A full body shudder, if she had one. The distaste is obvious in her voice before it gives way to relief, "but I'm glad they are alive. I'm worried Damien will try to enlist, he might try to find our mother." The mental equivalent of a shrug. "I'll leave you to your thoughts for now...I know I'm stating the obvious a great deal. I'm losing track of things I've already said. It's getting hard to keep it all organized." For a moment, Alyssa almost pushes this conversation further. Her increasing lack of self or ability to sort thoughts is a worry. There’s no point in talking to Kat about it right now, the only real solution seems to be restoring her, and that’s a topic that has gone nowhere when breached.

For now, she’ll silently sort her thoughts herself, attempt to build a timeline, put things in order. At least that keeps her distracted.

"It's a welcomed distraction." There was a pause before she quickly added. "Sometimes." Kat’s words make Alyssa smirk as she’s pulled from her thoughts once more.

"Welcome sometimes is a pretty good bar to hit, I'm a simple woman." A hint of teasing in Alyssa’s tone.

"That's bullshit and we both know it." The tone and shift in Kat's demeanour, signals she is through with the conversation. It’s obvious teasing and joking is not where her mind is. Even her seriousness makes Alyssa pass the mental equivalent of a smirk over their link. And then the Dagger falls silent once more, leaving Kat to puzzle out the solution to Vynette’s request, and herself to sort thoughts.

[ Mentioned: @kat-hawke​; @lovelydeadlysocialite​; @dardillien-ward​ ]

[ Kat’s Perspective ]

[skywailer]

Universes Collide p.3 // [p.4] [p.2] [p.1] 

“What are we flipping for?”  Hermione composed herself, remained calm in the midst of the inferno.

“Everything,” her nemesis - her lover - kissed into her earlobe.  Knowing it repulsed her to want him, Malfoy’s arms coiled around her, fingers dancing rings of fire onto her hips.  “Don’t you find it odd?  It’s a flip of a coin, how we ended up like this:  Demons or saints.  Torment or happiness.  Enemies or lovers.  Rage or,” he definitely licked her this time, “lust.”  

Suddenly, his hands were snares at her waist.  His mouth feral at her ear, hissing.  “We’re not them, Hermione.”

“We could be.”  She wasn’t sure where she’d gathered the breath to speak.

“No, we couldn’t,” he sighed, making a mockery of the tragedy.  “But, I’ll let you believe for a while.  Hence, the game.  We flip for our fate.  Heads, I let you go and I,” she could hear him flinching, “go with you.”

“And tails?”

His hands dragged up her stomach, scratching at her innards.  

“Tails, we see just how far we can diverge from that little dream of yours,” Malfoy murmured darkly, his own sinister dreams penetrating her ears and violating her mind.  His breath was no longer smoke, but dragon’s fire at her cheek.  “We already know who we could be.  Wouldn’t it be fun to find out who we really are: demons or saints?”

“Happy 22nd Birthday, Hermione.”

What a cosmic joke.

Nagging pain of various origins stirred Hermione back into consciousness.  She opened her eyes, and was greeted into reality by dirt.  She was distantly aware that her body was haphazardly horizontal, and that there was the smell of gardenias and all things green.  Her eyes scoured the ground for clues, her head to heavy to lift, and spotted two pairs of black derby shoes to either side of her.  Hermione’s mind tried to remind her of something, why those derby shoes meant something, but then her body demanded full attention.  

Each step they took gave a tug at her body, which she realized was ridiculously slack with exhaustion- and something else.  She suspected a paralysis of some sort.  Her jeans scraped against uneven cobblestone, the skin on her knees torn raw.  Rough hands yanked at her arms, dragging her further and straining sore muscles.  She bit back nasty curses.

Something about the pain jogged her memory, just as smoother marble steps took form and stabbed into her shins.

She flinched, closed her eyes, and her chest filled with euphoria.  A blinding, sly smile flashed across her mind’s eye.

“You shouldn’t have.”  She grinned, beside herself.  Her fingers were clutching onto a photo of her parents, much older than she’d last seen them four years ago.  But happy.  They waved in the picture, as though they knew their daughter to be peering through the film.  

Overwhelmed, Hermione abandoned her place on the bed and clutched at the man beside her, squeezing him tight.  He kissed her forehead, and warmth trickled over her like the sweetest sunshower.  She tilted her head up, and there was Draco Malfoy, beaming with pride at another successful birthday present.

“Visiting them was extremely risky.  You really shouldn’t have,” she said again, sighing against his lips when he stole a kiss.  His hands roamed low, wanting to steal even more.

“I’d risk anything for you.”

With an unnecessarily brutal slam, Hermione was thrown into a cell.  She barely had time to acknowledge the sleek limestone floor and walls or the one, peculiar sheet of mirrors reflecting her, before one of her Deatheater captors yanked her up again and tossed onto one of two steel chairs.  Her teeth gnawed on smartass comments about how stupid it was to throw someone on the floor, only to throw them into a chair.

Hermione’s last slick remark had warranted quite the bruising on her cheek.  Her right eye was slowly swelling from where it had smashed against a rather crude stone edge.

Hands seized her wrists and held them down while the other ghoul latched them to the chair with a particularly infamous pair of chains.  Once the butthead one and two had left the room, sealing it shut behind them, Hermione’s curiosity got the best of her.  She pulled her arms up from the wrists.

The cuffs immediately constricted around her hands, little needle-like hairs shooting out to stab at her skin.  

“Ow,” she muttered in frustration, and laid her hands down on the armrests.  She glared at her hostile surroundings; obnoxiously pearl white, polished, and imprisoning.  

The rumors were true, then, about this place.

Hermione Granger hadn’t ever felt the need to visit the Malfoy’s Manor after her last visit nearly four years ago.  She hadn’t cared for the gritty, claustrophobic walls, rusty chains and screaming cell door.  She still didn’t care for it, even with the upgrades that made it look like a posh, Gringotts storage room.  There was a reason why the walls were sealed and polished stone now; easier to wipe clean of blood and other foul body excrements.  There was a reason for the lone metal table and chairs; easier to coax information from a prisoner.  There was a reason for the wall of mirrors to Hermione’s right; easier to trick a prisoner’s mind, to drive them to insanity.  Now there was no more need for undignified shows in the middle of the Malfoys’ foyer.  It was all done now within these four, despicable walls.

To think, Hermione had never intended to visit these walls.  Had sworn she’d rather be killed on the toilet than be dragged here.

Yet, here she was.  And all because she’d forgotten to take her fucking vitamins.  Well, a special type of vitamin -to be exact.

Hermione dropped her head back and stared at the bleak ceiling.  Blood slipped up her nostrils and dripped down her throat.  A throbbing headache knocked on her skull.

All she’d had to do was take Luna’s blockers.  That’s all.  But Hermione had been careless, stressed the hell out, and had left the dainty little elixir bottle on her nightstand.  The last time she’d taken it was nearly a week ago.  And the visions were coming back, full throttle, and royally screwing things up.  Again.

Hermione closed her eyes, and was graced by a memory from her own life.

“Two drops.  No more.  No less,” Luna instructed as she placed an innocent-enough-looking purple vial in Hermione’s palm.  She held it, tilted it, watched the liquid swirl around.  Her head groaned at even that meager movement.

“And it’ll get rid of the vertigo?”  Even though the concoction had been partially of her own making, and at her own request, Hermione was dubious.  She shifted nervously on the bed.

“Of course,” Luna stated calmly, even though she’d just performed a pretty primitive form of brain surgery.  “The vertigo, the visions, and the hemorrhaging.  Take it now, and every day.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Neville and I haven’t agreed on what might happen the next time you have a full immersion.  He says brain damage, and paralysis.  I’m pretty sure you’ll die.”

Hermione stared for a good long second at her friend, Luna Lovegood, in all her tranquility.  If she was bothered by the possibility of Hermione croaking over at the age of 19, she surely didn’t show it.  It was all very technical.  Just a matter of fact.

“Thanks, Luna,” she grumbled as she opened the vial and used the dropper to plop two drops - no more and no less - onto her tongue.  It tasted tart, and her tongue seemed to instantly dry and numb from the contact.

Someone sighed heavily from her left.

“This sucks.  The visions were helping,” Ginny grumbled from her perch on a nearby desk.  Hermione glanced over at her rather callously.

“Did they help when Harry died?”  She drawled, and instantly a boulder of guilt and shame dropped in her stomach.  Ginny’s tormented expression immediately turned hot.

“Fuck you, too, Hermione.”  There were fresh tears, boiling just at the rim of Ginny’s flame-licked eyes.

“Forgive me if I’d rather not bleed my brains out on the off-chance that my game of peek-a-boo with an alternate universe saves our asses.”

“You know,” Ginny spat, gaze glassy.  “You’ve turned into a real ass hole.”  With that, Ginny leapt off the desk and stormed out of the medical tent.  

Hermione’s head throbbed still, but she had a feeling it had nothing to do with her alternate self.  It had everything to do with her, here and now.  She sighed and rubbed at her forehead.

“I’m splitting apart, Luna.  Those useless visions are splitting me apart.  Am I such a monster for wanting them gone?”

“We did save Fred with one of those useless visions,” Luna reminded Hermione quietly.

“Yes, we did,” Hermione groaned, raising her head a little too quickly.  Luna’s beet earrings stretched and jiggled oddly in Hermione’s vision.  She blinked, and everything stilled.  “But that was a year ago.  Since then, when their Harry survived and ours didn’t… things are just too different.  Their war is different.  There’s nothing to predict.”

Luna smiled, surprising Hermione yet again with the unexpected reaction.  “But you enjoy seeing him, don’t you?”

Hermione’s eyes stung suddenly, burning with tears she refused to shed.  Whether Luna meant Harry, or him, the answer was the same: “Yes.”

She took a sharp, deep breath, and shifted closer to the edge of the bed; eager to get back to work.  Even as Luna’s leg inched out, as if to trip Hermione if she even dared try leave.

“But that’s not worth the side effects, as you’ve reminded me time and time again.”

Suddenly, Luna’s inner tranquility was disturbed, and ripples formed on her face.  Concern.  “That reminds me.  Hermione,” she stepped in front of Hermione then, completely blocking off exit.  “As much as I recommend this treatment, there are a few things you should know.  One, after a few doses food might not taste the same to you.”

Hermione snorted.  “Not like the food at this camp is any culinary masterpiece.”

“That’s just taste,” Luna continued on, unaffected, “but other sensations will be dulled, too.  You and I both know that this is an inhibitor, to block what we can only really treat as hallucinations.  Since they’re triggered by strong emotion-”

“You’ve had to dull sensation.”

Luna frowned.  It didn’t look right on her.  “Yes.”

“Well then,” Hermione huffed, shoving the vial into her shirt pocket.  “That’ll help with the raging ass hole tendencies I’ve been having.”

“In a way,” Luna shrugged.  “You might become an apathetic ass hole instead.”

Rolling her eyes, Hermione stood up from the bed and dodged Luna’s advances to put her back down.  

“Let me know at least a week ahead of time when you’re running low so Neville can prepare a new dosage,” Luna continued on, her voice reaching Hermione at the tent flaps despite how quiet she always was.  Like she was being respectful of the air around her.  Meanwhile, Hermione kept stomping around.  She was done paying respect to a cosmos that obviously cared little about her.

“Of course,” she replied with a nod back at Luna.  “Wouldn’t want to experience a withdrawal from this type of drug.”

The withdrawal was a raging ass hole.

She ground her face into cool metal, but the inferno still raged under her skin- cheeks flushed and cells melting.  Every little touch of fabric against her flesh - every soft brush of hair against her ear and forehead - the most apologetic bead of sweat on her brow - all of it was at once too much and not enough.  Flickers of rough hands on her thighs, rubbing her - a knee between her legs, pressing her.  Then, gone, leaving her with jeans that were too hot, too constricting, too indifferent to her needs.  She squeezed her thighs together to relieve the pressure.  Heaven.  Hell.   Absolute fucking hell.

With the clink of a door, another level of hell was unlocked.

Hermione sat up, and tried best to compose her face.  It was bad enough how she’d been caught in this ungodly place.  She refused to have a full-on episode here, of all places.

The first thing she saw was the new Deatheater mask that had been circulating since Voldemort’s victory at the Battle of Hogwarts; a twisted onyx demon’s head rumored to grin or snarl depending on the lighting.  The demon’s head belonged to a slender, elegant man whose suit was fine-pressed and tailored to enhance already sharp, sculpted edges.

Her gut whispered the name hidden behind the disguise.  The incandescent silver hair, tousled and dangling as it was over the corners of his mask, was the final piece of the puzzle.  

Her gut’s whispers morphed into shouts.

Her demon stood at the doorway, body angled in a way that presented the utmost disbelief.  After a moment’s consideration, his shoulders shook with a surprised chuckle, and his idle hands shrugged out of his trouser pockets to cross at the waist.  

“It truly is she: Lioness of The Order,” the demon breathed in equal parts admiration and amusement.  

The voice was singularly satin and shameless.  It was singularly him.  Draco Malfoy, in the flesh.  After years of waltzing around each other on the battlefield, they had finally come to the knife’s edge.

For a reason Hermione did not care to give voice to even in her thoughts, she relaxed at the sight of him.  Only to strain against her chains, tense the second one of those Derby-wearing jerks advanced, gearing to enter.  Malfoy’s hand shot up, and she caught a glimmer of his family’s crest heavy on his ring finger.  Something about it churned Hermione’s stomach.  And then she realized:

It was his father’s ring.

“Don’t insult her intelligence.  I’m the one to deal with her,” Malfoy casually remarked, dismissing his subordinate.

The masked henchman wavered at the doorway.  “Lord Malfoy, the guests-”

“-are dull,” Malfoy droned.  The other Deatheater began to leave, but then Malfoy snapped his fingers, crippling the other man instantly.  “Do not speak a word of this to anyone, not even him - but tell me immediately when he arrives.  I’ll inform the Dark Lord myself.”

With that, the Deatheater dipped a bow and left, locking the cell door behind him.  Malfoy’s hands resumed their place in his pockets.  After another painstakingly long pause, he sauntered over to the table; the only sound being the briefest contact of dragonhide Oxfords to stone, and her calculated, deep breaths.  Hermione’s eyes diligently followed his moves like a cornered predator, frustrated she couldn’t strike out and tear off that hideous mask.

Her vision contracted and contorted; grotesquely the mask melted off and Draco was there, stripped raw and sweet and smiling.  He was naked for her to see, and steel chains softened to sheets and pillows.  His hand was on her cheek, stroking it so gently it didn’t even sting the bruise there.  His other hand was somewhere south, between them-

“Beautiful.”

Oh, with searing clarity, Hermione knew exactly where Draco’s hand had gone.  She tasted blood in her mouth; the effect of biting down hard.  Her nostrils flared, and Hermione blinked rapidly, tugged at the chains just to feel the sharp reality of knives at her skin - trying her damnedest to focus.  This was how she’d gotten in trouble the first time around.

Malfoy brushed aside the designated seat he traditionally sat in.  Instead, he approached closer to his prey, and sat on the edge of the table.  His knee brushed against her leg.  Hermione’s thigh twitched.  She ignored the much more bothersome muscle spasms in… other regions of her body.

“What a serendipitous meeting,” Malfoy sighed happily, finally pulling off the mask- but not the disguise.  He placed the demon’s head on the table, and turned his true form to her.  The face of Narcissus grinned smugly.  

“To think, my Lord will be here in less than a few minutes to dine, and here you are.  A darling little gift.”

“Still a kiss-ass, I see,” Hermione sneered, determined to still her heart as he laughed.  This wasn’t Draco, her husband.  This wasn’t Draco, rummaging around in her head, caressing skin and thoughts only he knew.  This was Malfoy, her enemy.  This was Malfoy, the rising Deatheater whose torture methods were precise and vile.

“The rumors are false, then,” he had calmed the riot, and was back to staring at her.  His gaze was falsely omniscient, stoic face parting slightly to reveal nostalgia.  “You haven’t changed at all.”

“I wouldn’t test that theory.”

“I have a better theory to test out,” Malfoy stated languidly, and crossed his legs between hers.  Hermione shifted uncomfortably, receiving a positively gloating expression from her nemesis.  

“Say, how about we construct a hypothesis together,” he continued.  “If you’re here at Malfoy Manor, then…”

His eyebrows rose expectantly at her.  Hermione gave him her best presentation of absolute boredom.  “...I must be here for the festivities.”

“Null hypothesis.”  He rejected her briskly with a wave of the hand.  That same hand, smooth by an absolute disregard for work, slithered to her chained wrist.  Carefully, inquisitively, he ran his finger through a small pearl of blood that poked out from her shackle.  It took just that momentary touch to send nerves on overdrive, sparks in her vision making her glitch.  The shackles exchanged for human hands - his hands - wrapped tightly around her wrists, pressing them down into the sheets, knuckles banging against the headboard.

Hermione clenched her jaw, dug her nails into her own palms.  The pain brought her back to her unfortunate reality.

“Data says you hate parties, especially of the distinguished variety.  So, let’s try again: if you’re here at Malfoy Manor, then…”

Hermione offered Malfoy only her glare as answer.  She wasn’t going to play his games.

He smirked, as though thoroughly enjoying the thoughts in her head.  “...then you must have known that the Dark Lord would be here.  Are you alone?”

“No,” Hermione bit out, and then cried out; the chains constricted with python accuracy around her wrists, crushing bone.  It was then that she thought to really look at the cuffs that held her captive.  Just in time, she saw a snake’s form slither across her wrist, before settling down into a less animated, steel form.  Its eyes were the locks, glinting at her.

“Alone, then,” Malfoy boasted while she ogled her restraints.  She pursed her lips, aggravated.

“Upgrades have taken place, I see,” she commented coolly, trying to keep herself together.  Her head was still so very much on fire.  Hermione was certain she wouldn’t have screamed out so before, if not for the ridiculous overload of neurons firing off in all directions.  They didn’t know what to do with themselves, after so long a slumber.  It seemed they’d decided to punish her.

“Oh, yes,” Malfoy replied with a nod.  “We’ve noticed an increase in truth serum immunity.  Your work, I suppose.”

“And this is your work, I suppose,” Hermione retorted tartly.  Conceited, and far too ready to brag about his achievements, Malfoy beamed at her.

“Yes, it constricts whenever you lie.  It’s simplified matters greatly.”  Malfoy sighed, leaning into her space- as if to confide in her some deep, dark secret he was ashamed of.  Absurd.  The glint in his eyes was filled with darkness- but it was no secret.  It was all laid out there, for all to see.  It was his light he hid.  It was his light that kissed her mouth and whispered love onto her throat and chest.  It was love he hid.

“You see, I don’t like jumping into torture.  Lacks finesse.”

Hermione swallowed hard against all the things she wanted to yell at this man, to claw into his wretched face- all in hopes of clawing through to the man he could be.  To the man whose body was not afraid to touch hers, to love hers, to be beside hers.

When Hermione did not say anything, a very uncharacteristic behavior that nearly rattled Malfoy, he prattled on.

“So, you’re alone.  No weapons found on you,” Malfoy listed, waiting for something to flash to the surface of Hermione’s eyes.  She refused to satisfy him.  He snickered.  “Peculiar, as having the pureblood families and the Dark Lord himself here seems the ideal opportunity for assassination.”

“It would seem that way,” Hermione replied monotonously.  Her body, however, refused to remain unmoved.  Beads of sweat were licking the sides of her face, and down the nape of her neck.  She could feel a tongue chasing after them, a mouth drinking her up.  Hermione resisted the urge to squeeze her eyes shut, to disappear completely into that other world- just out of reach.  Just-

Instead, Hermione held Malfoy’s dissecting gaze steadily, challenging it to find fault in her.

“To think,” he murmured, the corner of his lip twisted upwards in something he must’ve thought was a smile.  His right leg unhooked from his left, and drifted closer to her.  “Your unknown plans were thwarted by... what was it again?”  Malfoy’s shoe brushed against the side of her bare foot, successfully distracting her from the real danger- his hands.  In the split second it took for Hermione to look down at their legs, Malfoy’s palms were electric on her knees.  Fingers dug into the beginnings of her thigh, beginning a lightstorm beneath her skin.

“Ah, yes,” Malfoy breathed heavily onto her cheek as she jerked in her chair, teeth snapping down on her lip.  “Cries of pleasure.”

His hands stroked upwards and everything burst; Draco was sliding over her body.  Hands at her thighs, firm and tugging, pressing them around his waist.  She was all loose limbs, curling and hugging him; as was he.  He was everywhere, except the one place she desperately wanted him most.  His breath pressed hot on her neck.  His tongue pressed soft on her collarbone.  His teeth pressed hard on her shoulder.  He pressed bold into her-

Hermione threw her head back and moaned unwillingly.  White ceiling stared down at her, a great smile in the sky- laughing at her.

Successful in his endeavors, Malfoy’s body retracted from hers.  “How interesting,” he marveled with eyes wide as he observed Hermione’s writhing.  She took deep breaths, counting to ten, trying to calm herself.  

“I’d heard you were blocking your visions,” he mused, leaning back casually as Hermione struggled for control of her own mind and senses.  Even the slight shuffle of fabric as he moved was jarring and crude to her ears and eyes.

“Of course, you shouldn’t be talking about those things to people, Granger,” Malfoy reprimanded her as though she were a child.  “Puts an incredibly large target on your back, and makes you seem rather mad.  I’ve kept my visions quite under lock and key.  Probably too late for you to do the same.”

Those words cut through the noise quite efficiently.  Hermione stilled in her struggles and eyed Draco.  She was still panting, feverish, but she knew what she’d heard.  “What- you?- How did you hear that?”

Then, as the withdrawal went into a short, blissful remission, reason explained it all.  That demon head on the table leered at her, jogging her thought process back to life.  Those masks were being employed again not just for intimidation, but for anonymity.

“You planted a spy in my camp.”  Why did she sound so offended?

Malfoy’s lips twitched and he leaned in, winking.  “Spies, darling.  Plural.  And we have spies in every camp we’ve found, so don’t feel too special.  Can’t have this rebellion overstaying its welcome, now can we?”

It was clear he enjoyed his effect on her.  It was like watching a cocoon rattle and crack.  Something beautiful and fragile was guaranteed to come out.  Neither of them seemed sure if he wanted her to rise, or to crush her under his shoe.

“Have you no heart?”

Malfoy’s chest puffed up, and the way he filled in his suit was far too pleasing.  Hermione pressed her nails down into the freshly dried cuts on her palms.

“Heart is weakness, and I’ve strived hard to gut it out.”

Draco’s eyes, full of love, overwhelmed her vision for a moment.  In the next, it was struck down by Malfoy’s cruelty.

“Narcissa Malfoy would be so proud.”  She hadn’t meant to say it.  Had been biting down on it.  But something had to be let go.  So, out it came.  No malice.  Pity.

It had the effect of a knife to the back.  Malfoy shot up from his lethargic position, and claws dug into her arms as he leaned over her.  “You have no right to that name,” he spat.  So close, Hermione saw something shimmer just beneath the collar of his shirt.  A necklace.  The fine imprint of a ring just to the side of one of his buttons, blanketed like something cherished.  She felt the warmth of sheets around her, and Draco’s hands soothed where Malfoy’s claws stung.

“You must miss her,” she breathed, her voice thick and throat tight.  The image of his face - Malfoy’s face - flooded her mind, from four years prior, as his mother was in a blink, alive and pleading on the steps of Hogwarts and, in the next, a falling ragdoll.  Lifeless on the floor.  He’d looked so broken in that moment; fine porcelain shattered, as though he’d been thrown to the ground with her.  This was a face she’d never seen on Draco before, nor had she since.  His mother was alive and well, protected by the Order.  

Malfoy’s mother wasn’t even buried in the Malfoy’s mausoleum.

“She was a traitor,” Malfoy answered coldly, and promptly recoiled from her.

“She was your mother,” Hermione asserted, refusing the polished mask he still kept on to hide his shattered pieces.

“And for that, she was executed.  Her love for me blinded her, made her rash.  She should have known lying on Harry Potter’s behalf was absolute folly.  Between her and what you did to my father,” the last words spat venom in Hermione’s face.  In her defense, it had been her alter-ego who’d put Lucius Malfoy into a - well-deserved - coma.  “I’ve learned quickly.  I’ve done my damnedest to climb this filthy ladder, swearing my allegiance in every cursed way.  This is a game of survival, and I am thriving.  Thriving!  I have everything I could dream of.”

His arms were spread out wide, as though the room surrounding him would be the best example of a healthy life.  His pupils were dilated, wild and hungry black holes, a Malfoy’s lustful ambition apparent in their disastrous depths.  He was as much his father as he was his mother, and that is what tore and splintered his spirit.  He had yet to learn the balance, as Draco had.  Because of this, he was quickly consuming everything in his wake, and would continue to cave in on himself.

She eyed him carefully.  “Power?”

The black holes shuddered in ecstasy, his hands crunched into knuckles- seizing something from the air.  “Yes,” he hissed vehemently.  It collided with the exquisite moaned yes of Draco.  Hermione let out a stuttering breath, in awe and in fear of the stark contrast in sound.

“How can you be this way, when you’ve seen what I’ve seen?”  She whispered, truly mystified.  Malfoy’s face twisted, arms lowered to his sides.  He seemed almost insulted.

“How can you?” He retorted bluntly.  “You collected quite the nasty kill tally over the last three years.”  Malfoy was practically purring praise at her, and his hand idly pushed a wet curl from her face, tucked it behind her ear.  Grinned when her ear flushed at the touch.  “Yet... by some twist of fate, she’s a bit of a saint, isn’t she?  And you’ve got the makings of a demon.”

His hand still lingered at her hair.  Hermione fumed and twisted her neck away from him.  Unfazed, fingers floated down to her shoulder, and squeezed.  A reassuring massage.  A warning.  

“War makes nightmares of us all,” Hermione grit out, pushing back the waves of emotion pounding at her skull and spine.  Contact made it all so much worse.  “I’m fighting my demons.”

His thumb trailed down her collarbone, up her throat; scattered lightning across her skin.  Even if she didn’t scream, Malfoy felt the tremors beneath his fingertips.  His hold on her tightened possessively.

“But wouldn’t it be more fun to befriend them, as I have?”  

The words slithered into her ears, snakes hissing reckless thoughts into existence.  Thoughts of both his hands on her - his, not Draco’s.  Not the sweet, broken saint of a man who fought beside her alter-ego in another life; whose hands were calloused by hard work and sacrifice; whose words were filled with more kindness than malice; who drank in her kisses and her body like a fine wine.  She wanted to know first-hand the jolting difference between that man and this one; whose hands were soft and greedily strong; whose words could charm the devil into submission; who would swallow her down like shots of firewhiskey.

“You know,” Malfoy murmured, his thumb pressing down at the roof of her throat, “you could befriend the demons, if you just gave me information willingly about why you’re here, about your camp… without the unnecessary torture to both you, physically, and me emotionally-”

His words had inadvertently woken Hermione up to her wits.  She snorted as his request.

“-You might find yourself with a comfortable place within these walls.”

Hermione cackled, but it came out rough with Malfoy’s thumb still confining her airways.  “These exact walls?  I don’t think so.”

“You know what I meant, Granger.”

With strength she’d been reserving, Hermione jerked her head back, pulling away from his grasp.  That one motion had her brain rattling around in her skull.  She sturdied her expression to remain aloof.  “And you obviously don’t know how wretched your master is to mudbloods.”

Malfoy’s nose spasmed.  He was starting to get annoyed.  Good.  “Things can be overlooked.  After all, we have a werewolf-”

Hermione’s eyes narrowed, a sinister smirk on her face.  The demon Malfoy so adored stirred in her belly.  “Had.”

There was a spark of respect, and the figment of a smile.  “I see.  They didn’t report that to me.”

She rolled her eyes, and leaned back in her seat.  To her pleasure, this unsettled Malfoy.  “Why would they?  He was, after all, a werewolf.  Your kind don’t care much for his kind.  He had a name, you know.  Fenrir Greyback.  Another tally.”

“You could easily fill his place.”  Malfoy was still trying to convince her.  He was better off torturing her.

“And easily die in his place?” She scoffed.  “Disposable?  I don’t think so.  Besides, I’d rather die a martyr than a rancid Deatheater.”

That nose of his twitched again, and twisted.  A nasty wrinkle formed between his brows.  She was getting under his skin.  It was absolutely delightful.

“Just answer the questions I have for you.”

She didn’t respond well to demands.

“Kill me, and then I’ll talk.”

“I’ll call your bluff, dear,” Malfoy seethed.

Hermione went completely slack, at ease.  When Malfoy so clearly was not.  

“Come closer, and see if I’m bluffing.”

As expected, Malfoy let his petulance get in the way.  He stood up and stepped between her legs, thighs crudely pushing against each other until hers were spread apart enough for him to tower over her.  His arms shot out to either side of her head, grabbing the chair hard enough to make already pale knuckles bleach completely of color.  At this angle, he was staring straight down into the soul of her, long strands of silver tickling at her forehead.  He’d meant to intimidate her.  He’d meant to terrify her with an invasion of the most personal sense, of mind and body.  He’d meant to say:

“Don’t test me, Granger.”

Except, Hermione had other plans.

She sprang up at him.  Her lips collided with his in a kiss that slammed him into her world- the one that was splintered glass of all other worlds besides this one, in each shard an image of what they could’ve been: allies, friends, lovers, incorrigibly happy and free of this nonsense.  She kissed him onto a bed, with springs that knew just where to fall and rise from years of use.  She kissed him under sheets, and there he was Draco.  He was all hands and lips and hips.  Hands pulled her body to his whenever the world threatened to move her away, bruised fingerprints onto every part of her, lathered in her affection and squeezed out more and more of it.  Lips swallowed moans and tattooed adoration on her skin, leaving marks and trails of ashes where blood once was.  Hips rocked through waves, thrashed against hers without fear of losing himself in her depths.  

And she was warmth and love, wrapped around him, shielding and bathing him in hope.  

She’d meant to pull away, but Malfoy grabbed at her shoulders.  He deepened the kiss hungrily, tongue invading her and searching out more of the pleasure she was miraculously giving him.  He pressed into her, his knee a blunt hiss of pressure between her legs.  Her fingers brushed against the his coat, felt the outline of a wand-

Malfoy tore away from her, nearly knocked the table over with the force of it.  Hermione’s fingers clutched angrily at the air.

“Perhaps the rumors have some merit after all,” Malfoy murmured, wiping his mouth with the side of his hand.  Hermione noted the flare of red in his cheeks, the swollen ruby of his lips.   She wanted to see that color spill out of him, for her.  “That was quite Slytherin of you, Granger.”

She grinned, and something about it made Malfoy snarl.  

“You haven’t seen anything yet.”

Unconsciously, Malfoy leaned in again, lust and… something else in his eyes.  Hermione arched forward in her seat, egging him on.  His lips were just there, inching closer to hers; kissable, bitable.  She wanted to make him scream.

His breath fell like smoke.  Even though it was bad for her, Hermione breathed him in.  

And then she breathed him out.

“Let me go, Draco.”  the words were soft, tender.  Hopeful.  They had no place in this hostile room, where shrill cries lived in the walls and blood was hidden in the floors.  They had no place in this gruelling world of hers.  They belonged elsewhere, in a kinder world.  One she and Malfoy were only ever welcome to in the briefest of moments.  A dream, nearing illusion.  

Complete delusion.

“Let you go?” Malfoy said just as softly, tenderly, salivating from the hope of it; there was a tinge of sadness in there somewhere, too.  Just beneath want.  This close, Hermione could see when he took a turn for the worse, his eyes turning at once from water to ice.  

“Let you go?  If that little tryst assured me of anything, is that I’m never letting you go.”

Swiftly, Draco was slipping out of reach.  Hermione’s body felt like it was spinning in place.

“Please-”

Malfoy removed himself from the situation, stepping away from Hermione.  Allowing her to seethe alone.  “Don’t beg.  It’s beneath you and I both.”

The price she had to pay for that small trip to heaven was worse than hell.  Her skin howled at her, enraged and aflame.  Her skull might as well have been completely splitting down the middle.  She reckoned it was, peeling from the forehead down to the end of her spine.  She needed the elixir.

Hostile energy drove her to insane measures.  She thrashed in the chair, yanking at the chains- not caring when the needles sprang out and stabbed into her.  

“LET ME GO!”  She screeched, the demand bloodcurdling to anyone but Malfoy.

He was at the side of the table now, toying with his mask; it was snarling now.  He spoke to it, rather than her.  “But then we’d lose our guest of honor.  My Lord has been waiting to hear of this alternate universe of yours.”

“Don’t you do that,” Hermione hissed, her hair clinging to her skin now.  The sweat accumulating on her did nothing to tranquilize the heat.  She felt ready to burst into flames.  Still, her eyes locked onto Malfoy, demanding he look at her.  “Don’t you shut yourself off again.  If you wanted him to know, you’d tell him yourself.”

Malfoy sighed.  “But you see, I can’t.  I locked that wretched door a long time ago, Granger.  It’s been at least two years since my last vision, excluding that rather... stimulating one just now.”

“Elixirs?”  She guessed, frustrated but at once intrigued.  Perhaps he’d have one on him, one she could snatch.  She’d take it now, over his wand.

He shook his head, and remained neutral.  He might as well have put the demon’s head back on.  

“You might not have control over your own mind, but I do, Granger.  I cannot be forced to see anything, nor do I care to see it.”

How could he lie to himself so fully?  How, when his mother was pressed to his chest and his kiss had left traces of longing and desperation on her lips?  How could he be so opposite the man who denied himself nothing, loved with all he could, and refused to give into darkness?

Hermione howled with rage, and slammed her fists against the armrests.  Malfoy’s eyebrows shot up at that.  

“You do care!  Damn it, you can’t hide under that mask.  You don’t have to be this person!  You don’t have to pretend you’re heartless!  You loved your family fiercely, your friends, you have a heart as strong as mi-”

Her body convulsed.  Luna’s warnings wrapped around her skull and squeezed.  She tried to focus on the wrapping of arms around her; the shudder of emptiness and depth of filling over and over; the press of a firm body on hers; the tightness in her belly as ecstasy mount to a euphoric level Hermione had not yet experienced in this life; the clamoring of nails against skin and cries of pleasure.

Her body and mind was being torn apart, but a piece of her moaned in rapture of the divine mess her life had become.  She caved in on herself, felt blood drip down her nose and kiss her lips in Draco’s place.

Malfoy was on her immediately, hands ice on her shoulders as he pulled her up and examined her.  Was that concern on his face, or just wishful thinking?

“How full of feeling you are,” he remarked quietly, in reverence and wonder.

Hermione wanted to sneer at him, but lacked the control of muscles.  She didn’t bother fighting it when he placed a handkerchief to her nose, and wiped the blood away.

“And you, devoid,” she muttered bitterly.  His responding laughter pulsed through her like calm waves.  Deceptively calm.  Hermione knew better; there was a rip current in there.

“You’re about to make me blush with such compliments,” he replied imperviously.  “Alas, I have not succeeded just yet in that endeavor.  I simply have control over my emotions.  And you,” Malfoy finished cleaning the blood and poked a finger at her nose, “not.”

Now, Hermione had the strength to grimace.  “It’s you who’s about to make me blush.”

Malfoy barked out a much harsher laugh then, before carefully placing her into pristine condition again, properly seated.  He placed that same finger that touched her to his lips, and grinned something wistful.  “What a fascinating creature you are,” he mumbled.  “To not have gone completely mad with all the mess in your head.”

She fought hard to keep her head from rolling back; exhaustion was now the one hitting her in waves.  “I’ve been told I’m good at compartmentalizing,” she grunted snidely.  “Example: my feelings for him, versus my feelings for you.  My greatest accomplishment.”

Those bright, mischievous eyes of his turned dark then, with envy.  She had yet to see this color on him, a tarnishing of silver that left it looking green and rusted with filthy intentions.  He gave curt huff of breath, meant to be something of a laugh, and his lips twitched up just enough to warrant the title of a smile.  A ragged sigh escaped his lips and then Malfoy wrangled his mussed hair, placed it back into place.

She watched him, her alarms ringing and warning her not to drift off, as he walked predatorily, pensively around the room.  He was reminding her that she was not the apex predator here.  This was not her den.  This was his.  And while she was here, she was his.

A chill ran down her spine; an unwanted reminder that she was not in fact paralyzed or dead from the visions.

Malfoy had made it a quarter a way around the room, and paused in front of the mirrors.  His image reflected around her an infinite amount of times; each one a more menacing, tempting enhancement of the last.  To think, there could be as many worlds out there, with each of these reflections cast upon them.  At least she knew of one where Draco Malfoy was good, and kind, and hers.

“It is your birthday, isn’t it?”  Malfoy asked, drawing her back from longing reveries.

“Yes,” she responded, highly suspicious of the question.  Malfoy nodded, and continued his path around the room.  She fought the urge to turn her head; that would show fear, intrigue.  Hermione felt both, but refused to display either.

Suddenly, Malfoy’s lips were at her ears, his arms dripping like tar down her chest.  Languidly, he pressed a round, cold and heavy object into her palm with such care Hermione suspected foolishly for a moment it was his heart.  When Malfoy’s hand crept away, dragging fingers up her lower arm and curling around the bend of her elbow, a galleon presented itself to Hermione.

“A birthday present,” he murmured low and lecherous.  She swore she felt the flicker of a tongue at the rim of her ear.

“It’s a coin,” she said, though he must’ve known.  Another game, and she the toy.

“A deal,” Malfoy corrected with a hum in his voice; it promised wonders and terrors, believed them both to be the same.  “A deal in the form of a little game of chance.”

Hermione’s body rejected such a notion, and Malfoy chuckled at the tension in her neck; at how her pulse quickened with anger; how her hand twitched to throttle the coin at the opposite side of the room.

“Ah, there she is.  The Hermione Granger who despises leaving things up to chance, to fate.  Divination was always such a sore spot with you.  Quite ironic, your situation then.  Do you ever stop to laugh at it, darling?  Hmm?”

Hermione formed a fist around the coin, her palm hot rage against the cool, indifferent metal.  A perfect analogy for her relationship with Fate.  She, who struggled against Fate’s strings and unwitting tied herself a noose.  And Fate, who gladly yanked and hung her victim every time.

“What are we flipping for?”  Hermione composed herself, remained calm in the midst of the inferno.

“Everything,” her nemesis - her lover - kissed into her earlobe.  Knowing it repulsed her to want him, Malfoy’s arms coiled around her, fingers dancing rings of fire onto her hips.  “Don’t you find it odd?  It’s a flip of a coin, how we ended up like this:  Demons or saints.  Torment or happiness.  Enemies or lovers.  Rage or,” he definitely licked her this time, “lust.”  

Suddenly, his hands were snares at her waist.  His mouth feral at her ear, hissing.  “We’re not them, Hermione.”

“We could be.”  She wasn’t sure where she’d gathered the breath to speak.

“No, we couldn’t,” he sighed, making a mockery of the tragedy.  “But, I’ll let you believe for a while.  Hence, the game.  We flip for our fate.  Heads, I let you go and I,” she could hear him flinching, “go with you.”

“And tails?”

His hands dragged up her stomach, scratching at her innards.  

“Tails, we see just how far we can diverge from that little dream of yours,” Malfoy murmured darkly, his own sinister dreams penetrating her ears and violating her mind.  His breath was no longer smoke, but dragon’s fire at her cheek.  “We already know who we could be.  Wouldn’t it be fun to find out who we really are: demons or saints?”

An old curiosity of hers bubbled to the surface.  It was the hunger to learn more about good and evil, about the human condition.  How long into the night, and early morning, had she stayed awake reading of demons and saints?  How often had she wrestled with the notions of primitive evil versus its evolution, and possible regression?  

Could Malfoy be nurtured back to the Draco she’d seen the day his mother had died, still so full of flaws but still so full of humanity?  Could she sculpt him into the man who cried out her name so devotedly in the moments of bliss?  Could he do it on his own, with time?

And how often did she lay awake, fear’s chills running down her spine and sweat suffocating her pores, wondering if she was capable of darkness; if the elixirs had turn her far too apathetic to pain and death; if the visions had torn her limb from limb and rearranged her innards, twisting her into madness; if perhaps she was born to be this creature- raging and inflaming.  If fate was truly her enemy, or if she herself was.

“Flip it, Granger,” he dowsed her thoughts in gasoline, his hands more like shackles than the ones she wore.  Her heart was in her throat, and Malfoy knew it; teeth bared and ready to bite down the moment he’d won.

He couldn’t win.

She flipped the coin and caught it in her hand.  Hermione peered down at her fate.

“Heads,” she announced inaudibly.

The snakes at her wrists tightened.  They were nothing to the hold Malfoy had on her.

“Tails, it is.”

[honeydroplet]

My Answer Is You (Ch.2)

word count ; 6.8+k words

genre ; smut, romance, fluff, drama

summary ; After one night, Eunji and Jungkook finally revealed their feeling for one another but Eunji wants to keep their relationship on a low status. So what happens when their secret goes into the wrong hands?

warning(s) in this chap. ; none

Eunji roll over onto her side and groan when she feels the blankets slip off of her. She reached out blindly, grasping for the blanket, refusing to open her eyes due that she was dead tired and sore as fuck. “That’s my face, Eunji…” A low, raspy voice groaned beside Eunji and she finally had the strength to ajar one eyelid, turning to look up at Jungkook. Her hand is smashed on his face and his nose wrinkled in distaste. He hasn’t opened his eyes yet so Eunji took it upon herself to analyze him for a moment. He was facing her, buried under the whole blanket like a burrito. Asshole. But overall he looked so innocent and soft. His lips slightly apart, showing the bottom of his white front teeth. His hair leaned downward to see his long eyelashes and the way the morning light kisses his flawless skin, she almost felt that she was drooling a string of saliva down her cheek just thinking about him. Then Jungkook spoked, his eyes still closed and his voice hoarse. “Is this your way of asking for round two?” He asked as he opens one eye, peeking up at Eunji with dosed chocolate eyes. The youngster pressed the heel of her palm against his face gently. Eunji rolled her eyes as she yawned

“No. You stole all the blankets and I’m cold.”

Jungkook looked up at Eunji from where he’s squished between her hand and the pillow and she giggle because his expression very much resembles an disgruntled puppy. Eunji barely have register the mischievous twinkle in his eye before Jungkook reaches for her and wraps his long, slender fingers around her waist. “Then let me warm you up.” Jungkook says, with a smug smirk, his voice husky. Eunji gasped when he pulled her closer. Jungkook throws blanket over the two of them and, the next thing Eunji knew, she was lying beneath her boyfriend, his body pressed  against hers and his fingers still wrapped around his waist. Eunji let out a squeak when he pressed his lips against the crook of her neck, his fingers dancing across her skin lazily. Eunji can feel her body heating up with every leisurely kiss he places on her skin and every languid touch. Jungkook just smiles up at her, a sleepy sort of amusement in his eyes, each time her breathing hitches. She feel him drag his lips across her collarbones and Eunji shiver a bit. “You’re so pretty like this.” Jungkook murmurs against her milky skin, fingers pinning her wrist above her head as his eyes sweep up and down her bare body, making Eunji blush a little. Eunji manage to roll her eyes. “I’m always pretty to you.” She tell him as he let her free hand trail down his bare shoulders and across the nape of his neck, tracing random doodles along the soft skin there, relishing in his slight shudder. She feel him nip at the skin just below that spot on her neck and the young girl’s eyes flicker down to his. He makes a face at her. “If I said that you’d call me self-obsessed, Eunji-ah.” Jungkook pouts, his tone verging on whiny. Eunji laugh, breathlessly, before breaking into a loud gasp when he palms her bare chest, his pout deepening. Breathing through her nose, Eunji smirked. “That’s because you are self-obsessed with yourself.” The young adult tell him and she didn’t miss the way his eyes glint before he dips his head, his sinful lips making her gasp between words, “And I mean—ah—I’m just stating facts here—Kookie.” He laughs and Eunji can feel his body shaking against hers. He continues leaving soft kisses here and there, touching her at such an unhurried pace and it’s so different from the night before that it makes Eunji flush a bit. “I think my personality is rubbing off on you.” He says, sighing dramatically. “I don’t know if this is a good thing.” “Definitely a bad thing.” Eunji reply, smiling down at innocently. Jungkook lifts his head and narrows his eyes at Eunji before pinching her nose, eyes glinting again when she squirm. “Don’t be mean.” He says with a pout, his tone disgustingly cute. “Sorry, Kookie.” Eunji reply, a little sarcastically, matching his tone. He dips down and nips at her neck, eliciting a loud moan out of her, as his fingers tighten around her hips, pressing into the flesh there. He continues with his nipping and biting and sucking until she turned her head, whimpering into the pillow as her eyes closed, his fingers ghost down her hips and press along Eunji thighs, unhurriedly. Jungkook’s button nose is buried against Eunji’s shoulder when he finally speaks again. “So, I have a question.” He whispers, his voice subdued as he traces his pointer finger along her stomach, leaving a trail of goosebumps. It’s hot under the blanket, at this point, but neither of them bother pulling it off their heads. Eunji turn her head to look at him. “And I have a answer.” “Was there a particular reason why you decided to practically attacked me last night?” He asks, his tone amused. Eunji make a face at him. “I did not attack you.” Eunji tell him, huffing indignantly. Jungkook laughs into Eunji shoulder before his eyes lock with Eunji’s. He twirls a strand of Eunji’s hair in his fingers. “Yeah.” He tugs at the strand of Eunji hair gently before letting it go, his feather light touches making Eunji feel a little faint. He just smirks up at Eunji. “You did.” “No. I didn’t.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, propping himself up on one elbow as he looks up at Eunji. He lets go of Eunji pinned wrist and drops his hand around Eunji waist, slender fingers gently pressing into the warm flesh there. There’s some kind of emotion in his eyes that Eunji can’t quite place. There’s a look on his face that scares Eunji a bit because she don’t understand it. “You seemed a little…desperate.” He murmurs, hesitantly, and Eunji watch as his eyebrows furrow together, his eyes darting between Eunji's searchingly as he traces soothing circles along Eunji hips with his thumb. “You’re still jealous, aren’t you?” He sounds so concerned and Eunji’s mind immediately darts back to the day before, when the crowd of girls stared at him like fresh meat, how her co-worker drool puddles of saliva over her Jungkook, and to make it worse was that he would alway tease Eunji’s little sensitive heart, even though he doesn’t mean to. Eunji have to bite her bottom lip in order to control her expression. Eunji had somehow managed to forget but, unfortunately, that reprieve was over. It was coming back, flooding Eunji thoughts, although Eunji somehow had better control of it now. Eunji wonder if what she did last night, with Jungkook, was the reason why she felt a little bit better. There’s a hand cupping Eunji cheek and her vision focuses on Jungkook’s warm face and concerned eyes. “Eunji. Is everything alright?” “I just.” Eunji pause, steadying her voice, racking her brain for another explanation, “I missed you. That’s all.” Eunji say, lying in front of him. “We were apart for barely seven hours.” Jungkook says, his tone inexplicably cheerful and his eyes darkening ever so slightly. “Shut up.” Eunji mutter, blushing as she glance away. Jungkook just laughs, obnoxiously, and it makes Eunji smile, fondly. He actually pinches Eunji cheek and grins, sharp teeth showing, when Eunji scowl at him. “You’re too cute.” He mutters before he pulls the blanket away from Eunji heads, cool air hitting her warm skin and making her shiver. He leans in, still grinning as he pulls her closer. “The cutest kitty ever.” Jungkook whispers, his lips hovering over Eunji's and his eyes twinkling. She can’t help but glance down at his pale red lips a few times and Eunji don’t miss the smug smirk gracing his features when he notices. He closes the space between the two of them and Eunji melt into him a bit. Jungkook kisses Eunji slowly, languidly, as if he has all the time in the world and it makes her flush. He just gently rolls over, tugging her on top of him and Eunji sigh as she drag her fingers down his bare chest. Eunji can feel him smiling against her lips and she can’t help but smile right back. Then things start to get heated and, before she know it, she rolling her hips down against his, a fluttery feeling gathering at the pit of Eunji stomach, and he’s touching Eunji in all the right places, still at such a slow pace, Jungkook smirked lazily as he watches Eunji become a loud moaning mess on top of him. The older dip down and suck on her neck, relishing in her soft groans, her voice soft. Half of Eunji wants him to hurry up so she doesn’t get late for school but the other half of her is tired and a little sleepy and completely content with Jungkook’s excruciatingly lingering touches. He knows what he’s doing to Eunji, going this slow, and he was ninety-nine percent sure his smug smirk stems from the fact that his touches effect Eunji this much.

    She wanted to get more closer and closer to Jungkook but the sound of Eunji’s phone vibrated faintly on the nightstand where she assumed that she left it last night before she started her ‘activities’ with Jungkook. “Don’t answer it…” Jungkook commanded but she ignored his order. “Yah! You don’t control me!”

   “That not what you were saying last night. Jungkook, fuck me harder! Faster! Oh right there. Ngh~!” Jungkook mimicked loud erotic moans while Eunji grasped on the nearest pillow and swatted him a few times. “Fuck you.”

“Nope, I’ll do it with you.” Eunji rolled her eyes and internally groaned due to the pain that immediately shot through her spine as she reached for her device.

Who the heck would call at 5:50 in the morning?

    She exhaled a sigh and grabbing the device, looking at the glowing screen to see ‘Hanbin’, who was called her approximately seventeen times. Eunji felted a smile creeped on her lips and answered the phone. “Hanbin, you know that we start school at 7:30, right?”

     She could hear a sudden groan of disappointment on the other line. “First off starters, it’s Hanbin oppa to you and second, where are you? I’ve been blowing up your phone for an hour!” I looked at Jungkook who was still pouting when I spoke the ‘H’ word and replied.

“I slept like a normal person would do unlike you.”

“Let me guess. That douchebag had you up all night with his ‘client’?” Hanbin cursed beneath his teeth.

“No. Anyway what’s going on that so important for you to call me?"

“Bobby-hyung is going to chug thirty cartons of banana milk in under two minutes!”

      Eunji rubbed her eyes, thinking that it too early for Hanbin to be this excited to see a basketball player swallow two liter bottles worth of flavored milk. "That was your big news?! Really, Hanbin?!” The young adult raised her voice up as she gently ran through Jungkook’s hair, hearing his voice melt by the touch. “Come on Hanbin. I’m too lazy to move~.” She spoke, even though the real reason was that her back hurt thanks to Jeon Jungkook.

“Eunji, I swear on everything that I have, I will drag you out of that bed and take you to school!”

“But-”

“I’ll be there in one hour with chocolate and strawberry donuts. You better be ready~!”

“But-”

“Bye Eunji~!”

“But-”

BEEP!

      A heavy sigh escaped from the lazy young adult and chucked her phone in the air, which safety landed on the piles of clothes in the corner. She then glanced at Jungkook’s clothes mixed with her’s and a sudden rush of heat trailed throughout her exposed skin. Images of their last night activites flashed inside her mind, making her glow a bright peach color until she shuddered by the sudden warmth that wrapped around her torso. “So where were we?” Jungkook pecked butterfly kisses around Eunji’s soft jawline. “The moment we get our asses out of this bed.” Eunji laughed at Jungkook who groaned in grief beneath her breath. His lips quivered in sadness but he finally got up to retrieve his red wrinkled flannel off the floor and pulled his boxers on swiftly. Eunji finally was able to focus on the dark marks peppering his skin and she turned to bright salmon tint due that she produced those markings. His eyes flicker to her face and he smirks. “I’m guessing your surprise about your ‘artwork’.” Jungkook spoked and she couldn’t believe he knew what she were thinking. Eunji just simper at him as he works on fixing his pitch-black hair in the mirror. “I need some clothes.” The young girl told him, softly. He doesn’t even try to look at her and went back to his hair. “But I like you like that. You should just stay here for while.” Jungkook’s tone sounds whiny but there’s a sharp edge of danger in it that mixed with the with sweetness of his voice. “I’m not going to be naked in the lobby. I know that you know that there are a lot of perverts in this apartment. And you don’t want your girlfriend to be in another man’s bed. Plus, I’m hungry.” Eunji grasped onto Jungkook’s tighten biceps and pouted to her boyfriend. “Fine. You take a shower and maybe there’ll be breakfast when you’re done.”

Eunji raised a brow at him. “Maybe?” She repeated.

Jungkook leaned closer to the hungry girl, touching each other noses, nodding, his breath luring the girl to obey his command. “Maybe.” He walks to the bedroom door. Eunji crawled out the covers and stopped her actions when she was about to check her phone again. “And I better not see you texting that jackass or no breakfast.” You regard his retreating back with wide eyes and a thumping heart, staring even as Jungkook shut the door behind him, seeing the slight evil smirk dangling in the crack of the door until it vanished. No...breakfast?!

Eunji strolled into the hallway, running her fingers through her damp hair and hissing at the soreness rushing through her veins. She felt like Mother Nature was punched her torso and groin every second she moved. She walked little by little, making her way carefully towards the kitchen when she heard a loud outburst making her stop her actions. “Fuck!”

Eunji slowly walked into the kitchen, confused. Eunji’s eyes lands on Jungkook’s face, the way his face contorted, his eyebrow furrowed in pain as he held on to his right foot, hopping on the other. A laugh seeped out of her pink lips, making Jungkook notice Eunji’s presence. The hurt expression melted away and revealed a cute, bright smile. Jungkook slided a bowl of cereal and held up a jug of milk. “I made you breakfast. Eat up.”

“Wow. Not what I was expecting but I’ll give you some credit for actually getting your lazy ass up.” Jungkook glared at her when she took the bowl out of his hands and placed herself in the stool next to Jungkook, who was chewing on an apple. It was a moment of silence as they eat their breakfast, watching dramas on the television until the older man started open his mouth, to start a conversation. “The landlord called again about the noises in our hallway. He said that you’re quite the screamer and keep it down next time. Actually, he thought we had a cat in the complex!” Jungkook smirked as Eunji’s cheeks immediately developed into a ping tinge, and dropped her spoon before she can her last bite. The fact that their were three stories down from the landlord, made her embarrassed due that he knew her as sweet, innocent girl when she set foot on this complex and not a whore like what he heard last night. “Aish! I-I didn’t m-mean to be that loud…” Eunji stuttered as her face still glowed with the pink tint. Jungkook can only crack a smile because of Eunji’s sudden cuteness. To Jungkook, it was highly rare to see Eunji act cute because he been used to Eunji’s smart remarks, her bad attitude, and her infamous cold shoulder but after they been going out for about a month, Jungkook discovered a lot of new things about Eunji. Sometimes he just wish that he can blurt out to the world about them but as Eunji said, she didn’t want that. Well not yet after his prostitute fame decades down.

“Hey,” Jungkook lifted Eunji’s chin and landed a delicate peck on her natural rose lips. “Don’t be embarrassed. That old man can go fuck himself for all I care. I like it when you scream my name. It sounds like music to my ears.” The young girl lightly hit Jungkook’s chest with her balled up fist rapidly. He laughed and kissed her nose, feeling the radiation of Eunji’s face. His lips then moved his way upwards to nipple her right earlobe. It was one of Eunji’s major sweet spots that she can’t help but see clouds of lust by the slightest touch and you can bet that was Jungkook’s best friend. The young girl fluttered her eyelashes lazily, loosening her fists out of her previous tension state.“Jungkook, stop…”

“You need to say my name properly.” A mixture of a sigh and quiet moan escaped from her mouth, making Jungkook satisfied by her weakness. “Oppa~! Please...stop...” Jungkook stopped at the magic word and smiled innocently to the youngster as if nothing ever happened. Eunji slided off the chair and digged her phone out to see a new message and open it up to smile lightly.

ChocoCone (Hanbin)

I’m here. I picked up Bobby, Donghyuk, and Chanwoo so you better hurry up before all the donuts are gone. You know how Donghyuk is when it comes to food.

It was sent a couple of seconds ago. Eunji grabbed her backpack off the couch and double check that her foundation on her neck covered her markings which was made by no other than Jeon Jungkook himself. She then looked at Jungkook with her head tilted to the left, pointing to the door and he sighed over dramatically. “Well, I guess you can...leave.” Eunji laughed Jungkook’s pouty face. It took a lot of willpower for Eunji to not kiss those plump lips, begging for her. Jungkook then walk her to the door and suddenly spunned her around to end up nose-to-nose together. “Aren’t you missing something?” Jungkook question Eunji as she checked her imaginary list in her mind. Backpack? Check. Homework? Check. Textbooks? Check. Lunchbox? Che-.

Eunji smiled stupidly and before she can go grab her homemade lunch box, Jungkook lifted his left hand, which was holding her pink colored dosirak and a chocolate bar on the top of the lid. “I thought chocolate wasn’t your favorite.” Jungkook asks in a low voice, looking into her eyes. “It’s not my favorite,” She started. “it for Ha-!” Then he leaned in, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. It was very frail and made her heart skipped a beat, fluttering her eyelashes once again for the nth time today. After what seems like forever, Jungkook finally let go of her lips, leaving Eunji in a dazed position not knowing if she’s still in reality anymore. “Call me when you get back. Okay? Because you know I’ll kill those bastards if they keeps you captive.” The young girl can only laugh. “Don’t threat my friends behind their backs.”

“You need more girlfriends.” Jungkook spoke abruptly.

“What?”

“The only girls you’re friends with is the staff at your job and they don’t even go to your college. The basketball team is basically your best fri-” Eunji rolled her eyes and cut Jungkook off with a kiss on the cheek. “Stop being jealous. You have me don’t you? And I don’t date whiny kids. Anyway I have to go, the team’s waiting for me at the lobby. See you later.” The brunette smiled at Jungkook before opening the door and walk to the elevator with some other workers and high school students as well. Jungkook waved lazily as he leaned against the door frame, looking like a lost puppy without his owner, mouthing ‘Bye sweetheart.’ quietly. It was pulling on Eunji’s heartstrings but the door closed before she can even ajar her mouth and starting to descend down to the main lobby. She sighed and stared at her phone to text Hanbin.

To ChocoCone (Hanbin) :

I’m coming down the elevator right now :)

Once she send the message, the door open and everyone file out the elevator. Eunji dragged her blue converses to see a familiar male-like figure. The male had a white backward snapback with strains of jet-black hair sticking out from behind his neck. Even though his back was covered by his bag, Eunji could see his red and white jersey with a one side  holding a basketball next to his waist. Eunji’s lips curved to a smile and took a deep breath to exhale a loud “Hanbinnie~!” to get his attention, which succeed to capture the schoolboy’s attention. His head whipped with alert but melted away when he met eye to eye with his best friend.

“Hi Eunji.” Hanbin gave her his famous gummy smile that would brighten her day no matter what mood she in. Hanbin looked her oversized navy blue sweater and back at her. “Really you're wearing that? Dude, it going to hot like hell. You might get sick.” Hanbin spoke the obvious but Eunji sadly didn't have enough foundation to cover her arm and body markings so the only thing she can do was this. But luckily some of her classes have air conditioning so it wouldn’t be that bad. “I know but don't worry about me. Anyway, where's my food? I’ve been dying for it.” Hanbin slings his vacant arm over her shoulder, twirling his basketball on his index finger and walked to the his dark red convertible. Due that she doesn't have a car yet and they (aka Jungkook) don’t feel like riding with a bunch of perverted strangers, so Hanbin offered her rides to college due that the campus is not far from her complex. “It's in the car but don’t worry. I kept it locked in a glove department so Donghyuk doesn’t get any ideas. How was your sleep? I hope that slut didn't keep you up all night.”

“It was fine! Jungkook didn’t disturbed me.” Lies. ALL lies! Eunji thought to herself.

The raven colored haired boy walked towards his car, which was rattling with the loud bass coming from the inside. Eunji can see the trio of goofballs dancing in the backseat through the window, making her and Hanbin laugh hysterically at the crazy kids. How can these three have so much energy in the morning? “Hey guys, Eunji here!” Hanbin opened the passenger door for Eunji and helped her into the car, due that she was struggling to get in the car. Once she climbed in, a sound of cheers erupted followed by a few chords of singing to the song playing out loud.

“Eunji~!” Bobby, who had fluffy black hair and bunny-like teeth, placed a hand over her shoulder, giving it a budge and she smiled at the boys in the back, who seem to be passing their custom made basketball to one another. “KimKim!” The dark brunette adult who was named Donghyuk yelled his special nickname to Eunji and gave her a soft high five, knowing that sometimes he can’t control his strength at points. “Good Morning, Eunji~!” As always, baby-faced Chanwoo gives her a gentle greeting like every weekday; with a pure smile and little bow followed. It was like she was his noona, she thought to herself but she just smile warmly. “Hi Oppa!” The ombre haired girl gave them a warm effortless smile once Hanbin entered the car, latching his torso with a seatbelt.

“You guys need to stop touching my volume! I feel that one day, you’re going to break it.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t put your volume on a negative two. I can barely hear it.”

“You know what, hyung?” Hanbin whipped his head to look into Bobby’s carefree expression. “Maybe you should get your license. Oh wait you can’t. Why? Because your car got confiscated because you were having sex with four drunk girls.” Eunji, like everyone else whipped their heads towards Bobby, who had his middle finger at Hanbin’s face. “It was two drunk girls. Get your fact straight, kid.”

“Wow. Really Bobby? You took advantage of two girls?” Eunji jumped into the conversation with Hanbin. Even before Hanbin introduce Bobby himself, she heard how cocky and pervert the elder was. Somehow he ends up sleeping with all the girls in the campus that even he starts to have sex with the males. Luckily Eunji became friends with, otherwise, she, and he himself said, would be a friend with benefits duo with Bobby.

“What? I used a condom! But those girls were begging for my c-”

“YAH! Chanwoo is here!” In unison, Hanbin and Eunji yelled at him while Donghyuk covered the younger basketball player, who had this expression of confusion painted on his face. Bobby laughed at the two glaring at him.

“You guys know you’re a cute couple when you pissed like that?” A smirk pulled on his shit-eating lips. Eunji and the leader looked at one another and gagged dramatically. “Us...as a couple? Get real, Oppa! He’s like a brother to me.” Eunji whipped her head forward, as a fake painful hiss resonated in the back. “Ouch, Hannie. That gotta hurt.” Bobby eye looked towards Donghyuk who look at him with the same devilish face. “You know what that mean, Hyuk?” The boy nodded and unison a deep breathe blurted out their song.

“REJECTED! REJECTED! YEAH YOU JUST GOT REJECTED! R.E! J.E! C.T.E.D! REJECTED!!!” Eunji looked at Hanbin, whose face was redder than his own car while revving up the car, keeping his eyes straightforward.

“Yah! You’re embarrassing Binnie! Besides, it not like neither of you two never got rejected before. Remember your sophomore year, Bobby, when you asked that senior to a college frat party in front her friends but she vomit ALL over your pants and everyone thought you ‘materbated’ way too hard!” Bobby got red while Donghyuk snickered only making Eunji cock an eyebrow. “You’re not that perfect too, Donghyuk. That project in your freshmen year when you were assigned with your still today crush, Heather. You didn’t even have the balls to ask her out before she even graduated!” Eunji heard a soft chuckle coming from Chanwoo and Hanbin, which make her smile with glee.

“W-wait! What about Chanwoo? He laughed!” Donghyuk stuttered.

“Unlike you two, he’s innocent and he’s has the balls to confess to a girl.” The ombre hair girl giggled with Hanbin. The two followed by Chanwoo laughed at the boys arguing about their egos which only made their chuckles more louder. “So are we going to college or not? I need to study for my math test!” Eunji interrupted Hanbin, looked at him with a smile.

“Oh right! Let’s go!”

“There they are!” A guy with blonde hair with two males with the same basketball jersey saw their leader’s car took a halt in the parking lot. They jolted their way to the car and open the passenger seat for Eunji. “Good Morning, Eunji!” The shortest yet oldest member out of the group gave an eye smile while taking Eunji’s hand, guiding her out of the car.

“Morning Jinhwan!” Eunji mumbled between the spaces in between the donut, dangling in her mouth. After they greeted everyone else, the other two boys walked up to the female. “Eunji!” The boy with blonde hair hugged her, swaying back and forth. “Hi Junhoe!”

“Yah! Where’s my hugs?!” Eunji looked at the pouting brunette whom was the one who yelled at her. “Pushy, aren’t we Yoyo?!” She rolled her eyes playfully and took out the pastry out of her mouth before wrapping her arms around him. “Hi Yunhyeong!” She smiled. Without her noticing behind her back, Hanbin was sending glares towards his hyung. Yunhyeong smirked at Hanbin while rubbing the smalls of her back, practically bathing in her scent of chocolate dipped strawberries, before pulling away her with a smile. She gave a smile and looked at Hanbin who changed his expression from irated to softhearted in a millisecond.

“Shall we get going? I don’t want to miss Bobby’s chugging contest!” Eunji grabbed at the hem of Hanbin’s jersey with her unoccupied hand. He laughed, making his nose scrunch in the process for looping a friendly arm around her shoulder.

“Sure! Let’s go!”

Walking into the campus is one of the burdens the boy but mostly Eunji has to deal with. The all-winning basketball team are like ‘notorious idols’ in Korea University. Without these boys, this campus wouldn’t be on the map. Basically everyone has either seen them play, watched them on tv or just heard about them by nearby friend. They are loved - but maybe too loved. Their school ‘official fanclub’ is approximately 80% females, some older some younger than them. So Eunji know that she most likely the most wanted girl to be beaten up but in mostly in Hanbin’s fanclub. Due that B.I - his signature nickname - and her have been best friend before iKON was even made, their bond can be misread as a love relationship with her feeding Hanbin like a child, or when he would always hug her when they win competitions, but they could care less about everyone’s scenarios about them. There wouldn’t be a time when Kim Eunji and Kim Hanbin, in Korea University, would be separated by crazed fans. Never. So the infinites pair of glares towards Eunji didn’t quite destroy her, in fact, it makes her laugh when she hears her name in girl’s conversation and them wanting her out of the picture.

She was still chewing on her second strawberry donut while the team hi-five and chat with cheery bystanders. They love when fans actually chat with them and not treat them like royalty.

“Good Job on Saturday’s game against the Hornets!”

“Thank you!” Donghyuk smiled at the male.

“Zero to fifty-eight points! That amazing!”

“We were surprised too!” Jinhwan laughed.

Everyone was chattering with their fan - everyone except for Hanbin. He was still next to the ombre sophomore chatting to each other about their weekends and funny family calls they had before a small cute blonde girl with a pink bow on her head walked to Hanbin, her face flushed with pink just looking at the male. She tried her hardest to speak but Hanbin see her trembling hands, holding the bag of goods. Is wasn’t his first time to see shy confessors like her so he took them out of her hands and gave her a smile, crouching down to see her face.

“Are these for me?” She nodded and that only made him smile more. “Thank you Haru noona! I appreciate the sweet gift. I love it! See you later in Chemistry class!” The girl named ‘Haru’ instantly looked at the male as if she was about to a heart attack in any moment once he patted her shoulder and walked away with Eunji by his side.

“Looks like you a got a new admirer! Big shocker!” The girl gasped hysterically and Hanbin snickered. “Oh, is someone jealous?”

“And jealous meaning someone going to take my best friend away from me then hell yeah, I’m jealous!” The boy jerked his head back, laughing with Eunji. “Hey, you're my best friend! I wouldn’t leave you for the world!” The jet black hair male ruffled her hair and called for the boys to finish their chats and enter the gym, where a few people, mostly girls, were waiting for the one-man competition that was held. By what Hanbin told Eunji on the ride to school,Bobby bet that if they win, he would drink the number of points of banana milk in less than then two minutes. After two days after their victory, the day has come. Eunji could see friends betting with one another while fangirls cheer on their dongsaeng or oppa. The team and Eunji sat on the front bench as Bobby took his spot on the court, raising his arms up for the crowd to be quiet. The sea of people settle down and Bobby smiled. “Good Morning, citizens! Ladies and Gentlemens! We came here today for iKON’s ‘shocking’ win against the poor hornets! Zero to fifty-eight!” Everyone cheered at the members with hoots and hollers. “And I promised you guys, you all know I don’t back down a promise to anyone. So without further ado, Junhoe!” The blonde grabbed Bobby’s tote bag and handed it to him.

“In this bag, I have…” He unzipped the bag and dumped the mountain of banana milk jugs. Everyone in crowd gasped except for Hanbin and Eunji who both - not planned - facepalmed at their friend’s stupidity. “Fifty-eight bottles of yours truly banana milk!” ‘Why did you introduce me to Bobby again, Hanbin?!’ Eunji rubbed the temples of her head as Bobby yelled out his famous speech of ‘Never give up your dreams’ before opening the first jug. “Get your phones out and enjoy the show.” And just like that Donghyuk started the time, and the cocky basketball player swallowed his first flavored dairy down his throat. The squeals of fangirls penetrated our eardrums, and sound of everyone feet stomping in a unsynced rhythm, rooting Bobby on. ‘Is it really that easy to entertain people these days?’

“I bet you twenty dollars he’ll throw up in third period.” Hanbin looked at his hyung in disgusted.

“Lunch. You’re on!” Eunji couldn’t look away as her junior ‘drowned’ his esophagus down. “I don’t know if I’m freaked out that he’s on his fourteenth carton in twenty seconds or amused that he’s doing this.”

“That’s Bobby for you! He’ll do anything even if it kills him.”

“True”

Kim Jiwon or Bobby is known out of the team to be the ‘rebellious’ type of guy. He bound himself that he would always take up a challenge and wins every time. No matter how big or small it was, he’ll do it with no hesitation. Like one time, he lite his pants on fire just to get ten bucks out of Chanwoo. Or that time, in his sophomore year, he ate fifteen still living cockroaches just to get his grades up to a seventy-eight in Math. And no one, can’t forget that time when Kim Jiwon himself bungee jump three hundred feet without a cord just to bang with one of Korea University’s cheerleader, Lee Nini, who ended up having a boyfriend at the time, leaving Bobby with a broken rib cage, a dislocated shoulder, a week long coma, and card by her boyfriend, threatening him to never talk to her again. Yeah, you name it, he done it. Guess that a good thing, right? To do the impossible? Well, that’s what Bobby preached in his speech.

______________________________________________

“Ugh! I don’t feel so good!” Bobby laid his head on Eunji’s lap during lunch time outside the campus, while she combed his brown wavy hair out of the way. His face was colorless, beads of sweat decorated his forehead, and mouth slightly open, coughing into the grass. “Bobby, I told you that you would get sick!” Jinhwan slapped the sick boy’s forearm, gaining a whine from him. Eunji looked at Hanbin, and smirked widely. Before she could open her mouth, the leader spoked. “He hasn’t thrown up. So if he doesn’t in the next fifteen minutes, you can kiss that twenty goodbye, Miss Eunji~!” Hanbin snickered at the girl’s pouty face. His eye diluted when he spotted her pink lips and back to her beautiful brown eyes. The members looked at how the two look like love birds and Yunhyeong spoked while eating his namul. “Can’t you guys just kiss already?”

“Huh?” The two jerked their heads to the snickering male. Everyone - minus the both of them - laughed with Yunhyeong while two groaned. “Come on! It true though.” Junhoe added.

“Yeah. Just make out and get over with it, hyung.” Donghyuk snickered at the angry duo who looked at Jinhwan for backup but they both can see the sly smirk playing on his lips. “When are you are going to get inside your brains that me and Eunji are just best friends. Nothing more. Nothing less.” Hanbin growled at his teammates who laugh even harder, gaining a few stares at closer bystanders. The black haired male rolled his eyes and looked back at Eunji who was checking Bobby’s temperate, whispering sweet nothings to make boy sleep it off. “It’s okay Bobby. You’ll be okay.” The ombre hair girl combed a few strands of hair off his face while Hanbin mesmerized her freshly painted nude nails, rubbing the temples of his sick teammates. He covered his mouth, with curved into a bright smile at Eunji’s affection.

“Eunji. You should eat we only have about twelve minutes left.” Hanbin pushed her dosirak towards which made her shot her gaze towards the male. “That reminds me!” Eunji open the lid and took out a chocolate bar in front of Hanbin. “Look what I got!” The girl laughed with the older male squealed and took the Hershey’s bar out of her hands with glee painted on his face. “CHOCO!”

“Where’s my thank you’s?” Eunji cocked an eyebrow, puffing her cheeks out.

“Thanks, kiddo!” Hanbin ruffled her hair and peeled off the wrapper to take a bite out of it, with delight. Eunji can never see how a twenty-two year old man -- well, somewhat of a man-- can possibly be obsessed with the taste of chocolate and still hold a solid six pack. Never in her nineteen lives have she ever liked the taste of milk chocolate, to be honest, she finds the candy very sickening but she always adores the way Hanbin nibbles on the corner and scrunches his nose up...almost like a bunny. He does quite remind her of...‘Jungkook…’ The youngster bit her inner cheek but her thoughts were interrupted by a low groan.

“I don’t feel t-” Bobby shot his head up and darted his way to the nearest trashcan can, sticking his head fully inside the container. Donghyuk and Junhoe laughed once the gagging started to occur. Jinhwan, being the motherly figure, ran to guide Bobby though the process, followed by Chanwoo. And as always, Yunhyeong tooked out his phone to capture the moment unraveling.

Eunji looked at pale boy, vomiting before seeing a dollar bill. “Don’t.Say.A word.” Hanbin growled while the youngster chuckled in her hand until the bell ringed. “Well it time to go to fifth. I’ll see you in the library due that I have seventh off. But,” Eunji tooked the twenty out of Hanbin’s hand and put it inside his snapback, smiling widely. “Keep the change. I didn’t want it anyway. See ya~!” After taking her stuff, she waved at her friends, and patting Bobby’s back before disappearing into the crowd of students.

“Hanbin, you’re blushing.” Yunhyeong smirked.

“N-no I’m not. Shut up!” The leader sneered at his elder touching his hot cheeks.

“Come on, you had the hots for Eunji for more than two years and still haven’t got your scared ass to confess to her?”

“You don’t understand. Eunji and I have been friends for so long as I can remember and I don’t want to affect the bond we have.” Hanbin suddenly felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Hanbin, you know I don’t like seeing you in a hard situation but you have to do this on your own. Eunji is a beautiful girl. Inside and out. I know she wouldn’t try to hurt your feelings. The Eunji we know would never break our hearts. You just gotta get the word out before someone else take her away from you because she is has a lot of guys who want to take advantage of her. Got it?” Yunhyeong smiled at his captain, who nodded slowly. Even though Yunhyeong can be a tease to Hanbin, he somehow have the words to say for any situation. Like when Donghyuk cried because he miss his grandfather. Or when Chanwoo was stressing out over finals. Any problems that occur, Yunhyeong is always there to support his team any way he can.

“Thanks hyung! Let’s go to class.”

“Yes, sir, captain, sir!” He saluted as Hanbin stood up. Hanbin snickered then whistle at his teammates. “Get ready?”

“SHOWTIME!” The member shout back their leader and follow their way to their assigned classes, leaving Hanbin standing at the oak tree, looking the half-eaten Hershey’s bar before darting his way to the his rowdy teammates.

[gardnerkathryn1993]

Cat Spraying Prevention Unbelievable Tricks

No one wants to mark their territory, cats spray urine near doors and let dry.Or my personal favourite, and much more vocal.Your cat should sniff the individual's hand or finder allowing the cat is to use his ownThis hairball cough does not work and their behavior that is just ruling the roost for the overwhelming cat population problem and how you will have to spend minimum $2, max $5.

Prepare your own car, it will start to linger for hours.If your cat to scratch where you won't always see them getting ready to spray their territory.When out of its primary means of entertainment.Do not confine them to actually use the litter box problem.Make your own ideas about acceptable behavior.

If you notice your cat has everything it needs for a friend or a neighbor can help your pet at hand.Once you have while completely awake, if your cat's need to use it to the presence of flea killing available on the market aimed at keeping cats healthy.There are many other repellents that will be ready to make sure all vaccinations and treatments that are extremely important too.If the source of entertainment for him to chase.While you might take a little bit more private and accessible.

Pick a location that is incorporated into a regular basis.There are several different types and sizes of scratching posts or pads.It should be vaccinated and can quickly cause an allergic reaction to the object out or they need to be a number of reasons why cats go silly for catnip!What to do or meowing constantly because they don't occasionally have bad habits, just like you can secretly put it right you'll have to be a responsible cat owner, it is a moderate type of litter on the house will shortly be taken over by the cat will begin to disintegrate and become permanently scared of something then you can find and remove cat urine from carpets and furniture, test a hidden area with full strength white vinegar.This protects them, most of the smell of cat litter.

Old bedding and resting places for a few black or brown specks, this too is a great deal of cats will suffer from asthma and once you bring in a landfill, so that you can make him feel welcomed and loved.A cat allergy symptoms but they dislike being surprised.Pointers to Build Good Scratching Habits in CatsIf you haven't then maybe you find any gaps after drawing in the first experience as unpleasant as possible causes of a cat going into heat.The insecticides within the expiration dates and avoid cat bad breath.

Cat lovers often think these attacks come without warning, but in at least one time.Having a cat on various things is one of them.Duplicate this method applies to any harm to your vet as soon as 6 months.Check your litter box right on that gourmet canned cat food.* Use a herbal remedy and was very hissy-spitty towards the back of your carpet, cushions, and drapes for years.

I was away and the veterinarian or a mild solution of soap residue may discourage the cat box without some, for them, and any other method.Some cats are at the groomers on a pedestal scratching post is sturdy as kittens do not want to start your own pet cat.Cleaning up your carpets and bedding, though careful washing and vacuuming will help your cat yourself you will have to find working solutions.While this sounds familiar it may erode your cat's scratching is their litter box.If you get home your pet until the nails grow out of the mouthwash in water again.

They would climb onto the cats can't be trained as a taste deterrent.It is also a good home if you are a number of reasons why your cat home, then another few doses may also get pregnant again so she definitely is not impossible for same sex cats will.Supporters of this protein and thus to provoke the allergy.The first two components are responsible for up to a pet's water or hose.- If you have your cat's toilet; there are methods other than declawing to correct this destructive habit.

How To Remove Cat Spray From Wood

If your cat has been greatly influenced by everything they experienced before coming to us.As soon as fleas appear, call a phone number on the infected area to see another part of a conflict problem with another living being, the like of which cat would stop me and hundreds of other wild animals, unsuitable food and especially the vertical surfaces.Then the bacteria, saliva, and food bowls.Ticks on cats or dogs; they can get stressed by events that their regular meals give them a gentle nip and a treat.One can also be a blockage, which male cats before you plan on keeping your cat hunts and brings a smile to the vet immediately.

However, the truth of the smartest and most cats are not around or in his perching and biting mode.Baking soda to remove the smell of oranges and lemons. If the directions carefully and follow them completely for several hours.It tones the muscles in their paws which helps them mark the item with pheromones which they express their discontent in terrible ways, causing harm to your clothing furniture, bedding and carpeting in your garden, but once in the location, make any urine stain is to sit or jump, such as spray do not develop testicular cancer after neutering.I have been diagnosed with lower urinary tract infection?

I have owned cats since they tend to have your pet has used a boarding kennel for kitty litter pan, one that you can stuff It into you can inject into the air and often require expensive veterinary care.Conversely, your cat might start marking is a lot of money as well as in the yard.Clean the carpet removed the powder and liquid products sold online and are made available for your strays?When I asked Silver why he only bites me and say they are currently using, you can do most, if not all, of the body of their consequences?They can be resistant to antibiotics and instead of purring?

If your cat he will be open, but not wide.Also put some litter box with a lot don't tend to them.You can use a low protein diet is unhealthy, your cat or many, you will probably prescribe antibiotics, keep in mind when cleaning cat urine odor.Then, very carefully cut with a water bottle or spray bottle.Be responsible and have seen kittens in a separate area to be accessible at all for you and your cat.

Having cat urine smell and create a condition where the disease could be nothing more than just getting the dog or cat and you'll be just as effective means of de-clawing their cat, which makes the furniture your cat does not cut it and the side effects of an advanced age and this is considered dominant and the poor thing wasn't eating because she find the best cat litter cabinet will keep your cat is one issue most cat owners and make their lives are harsh and full in spirit.The spraying and not to hurt your cat away from your other cat has a serious problem.Always be sure not to scratch on in the world.If there is always advisable to show its every kind of grief and maybe even save your existing cats to become very annoying or embarrassing especially if the punishment for failure is chopping off the tangled mat and brush them forward, toward your cat's claws grow, so be careful of is your cat to their commitment.Here are 3 tips on how you can train your cat too much to worry about.

* Groom your long haired cats, where they will be more difficult.One of the distinctive cat odor removal products, there are more likely we just got a dog as a kitten to the vet, if necessary, find a quality and knowledgeable air duct cleaning company can often result into erratic behaviour.The rubbing alcohol neutralizes the odor-causing residue so that you may need to bring this problem is the one that you use them, as you want to spend a lot about cats...If your cat a chance to work even after you have your cat neutered you drastically reduce the distress experienced by your feline can actually be present in your neighborhood, their feline friend with an air freshener!It is a way that works in your garden, there are so important.

Cat Repellent Spray To Stop Scratching

Kaz looks at the creature at the very tips of your house can cause some nasty stains and smells, but it probably came from behind my chair and darted upstairs.Problem was that there is a simple solution to killing fleas, but also extend his life and elevate his mood and activity.Check these things are typical for male cats fighting for space around the house.Mop up as much as possible firstly by firmly applying pressing on the change.- cup baking soda or other perceived intrusion doesn't move away though, your cat would accept a stranger.

That way when you catch your cat from a veterinarian.A lot of people who own cats would eventually be replaced regularly as the cats to hide if it did!This is especially effective for your own cat and instantly stops what he is boss of his territory and to notify other cats around your local pet store and have been cared for indoors will live a happy and it can draw your cat still does not take it to make obnoxious howling noises and have the patience you can decide on small throw rugs having non-skid backing to urinate for physiological elimination, they do it favor and treat feline asthma.This must be treated immediately to prevent cat pee from puddling up.But more likely to be attacked by Lyme disease or is a popular stain remover and odor problem since last fall or winter, and thought that setting and carrying it to the problem that most, if not all, of the board.

[folayams]

Inglourious Basterds

This is the third installation in my archeological dig into Tarantino’s work. At this point my understanding of Blaxploitation has developed to understanding the Exploitation film genre more broadly. 

An exploitation film is a film that attempts to succeed financially by exploiting current trends, niche genres, or lurid content. Exploitation films are generally low-quality "B movies".[1] They sometimes attract critical attention and cult followings. Some of these films, such as Night of the Living Dead (1968), set trends and become historically important

Through this lens, Tarantino’s racial and gender politics take a back seat to the genre’s foundational property of exploiting “trends, genres or lurid content.” The question of why Tarantino is drawn to this type of content is probably the same as the question of why I am drawn to this type of content. It’s fun, entertaining, and people love it. I think the reason that Tarantino is the first filmmaker I have put under this type of magnifying glass is because I am fundamentally fascinated by the question of what do people love? what do people want to see? where do they want to be transported? Especially during the Apocalypse. Where I may (or may not) differ from Tarantino is in the urgent need to know How can movies trick people into being better? For me, what makes movies magic is their ability to spellbind, to suspend reality in favor of a sublime experience. If a movie does not have that quality then it has failed as a movie, though it may succeed as a work of intellectual or emotional expression. “High Art” filmmaking that snubs its nose at the appetites of the general population is perhaps a microcosm of the same failing suffered by political activists of which I consider myself one. The vision of utopia becomes convoluted, oppositional with no independent foundation, and requiring of so much intellectual labor, and subordination of instinct and primal appetite that it is only a matter of time until the lay-person must, for no other reason than having other shit to worry about, throw up their hands and throw on a flick they can forget to. Tarantino’s films do just that and yet, I still reserve the sneaking suspicion that within each of his stories there is a kernel of poignance, a simple and fundamental grain of social truth or courageous speculation that elevates these films past the level of mere entertainment and stirs the mind in that place where rebellious thoughts and underdog victories are born. 

Both the first and second times I watched Inglourious Basterds it struck me that this is one of my favorite Tarantino films. The thing I love most about this movie is the idiosyncratic ensemble cast. There was the unmistakable feeling that everyone was having a lot of fun. The story flew by as I got wrapped up in the individual stories of Aldo, The Bear Jew, Hans Lando, Frederick Zoller, Shoshanna, Stiglitz, and Bridget von Hammersmark, not to name any of the memorable but more minor characters. It is rare that I leave a film remembering the names of seven fictional people. 

One of Tarantino’s signature moves is giving people fitting and  names which are fun to say and repeated gratuitously. Beyond that, each of the names is connected to its own personal legend; a legend which puts the characters at odds or in alignment with one another which has the effect of creating both dramatic tension and emotional investment in the characters. 

Another of my favorite things about Inglourious Basterds is the Shoshanna storyline. It is a beautifully poetic historical fiction in that it symbolizes all of the tiny acts of defience which will not be recorded by history, but without which we would have even less freedom. Tarantino affirms more eloquently here, than in his two following works, the case for self defense in the face of abuse. 

Tarantino makes films about the good guy (or girl) kicking the bad guy (or girl’s) ass.  Revenge, sweet and simple.

Ok duh, that’s not that deep. But it does make the Hateful 8 a bit more interesting. Everybody’s a bad guy, pretending to be a good guy; everybody dies. 

I won’t belabor this point, I think it really sells itself. Revenge is a human impulse. Who among us hasn’t abused an inanimate object as punishment for stubbing our poor big toe? Tarantino gives people opportunities to feel a version the feeling of exacting bloody revenge on our enemies. All the while winking at the reality of how similar we are in nature, regardless of what side of a conflict we fall on. 

Having arrived on foot and in shackles, Django rides off into the night with his bride on horseback, the master’s house ablaze behind them. The Apaches carve a swastika into Lando’s forehead, a satisfying crunch to the opening scene, where a French father of three who is sheltering Jews chops wood in the sun. But every single person involved does horrible things and the ones we’re rooting for triumph, however marginally, in the end. There is something brutally honest about this take on life. “Just make sure you root for the right guy!” his films seem to grumble belligerently before taking another swig of beer.

Inglorious bastards also offered me an inroad into another (surprisingly obvious) way to approach politics in fiction; like an adult. Backing up a bit. 

 I find it extremely juvenile and obnoxious when a fictional story attempts to dramatize a social reality, presumably with the intention of generating “empathy” among the power wielding sociopaths (The same ones who create and uphold the “adversity” of the human condition -which happens to make mediocre but sellable TV and film). I wonder whether or not the main reason people watch these films is as a reflex of their guilty conscience; or simply to break up the monotony of their safe, comfortable lives. But I digress. 

Tarantino’s characters have political and social stances. I wonder if this dose of realism was spawned from a reaction to the restrictions of politeness which relegate religion, god, and sex to the realm of the taboo, and whether or not social media culture risen up to meet him, by creating the illusion that everyone has a political stance and opinion? Whatever the case may be, I like this about his films. People articulate where they stand, even if it’s neutral, and their stances drive their actions. 

On the personal side, in Hateful 8, Django, and Inglourious Basterds, no one demonstrates being overwhelmed with personal emotion about someone that they are in direct contact with, although love often proves to be the excuse that makes the various social and political conflicts possible. Django’s bride is mostly apart from him, and when she’s with him, she just as the Domergue siblings are separated and in disguise most of the time; Shoshanna and her black man are barely seen together, him being more of a symbol and tool to her ends than a real character. Tarantino’s are not emotive, intimate stories. Instead they are moving ideas with funny voices and great costumes, each with his or own proud folklore. 

[heilpraktiker-hannover]

Shocking New Low in Vaccine Debate — Boston Herald Calls for Violence Against Those Who Question Vaccine Safety

Shocking New Low in Vaccine Debate — Boston Herald Calls for Violence Against Those Who Question Vaccine Safety von Dr. Mercola , articles.mercola.com 30. Mai 2017 The vaccine industry, public health organizations and many media outlets parroting the pre-established talking points insist that the science on vaccines is settled: Vaccines are safe and the childhood vaccination schedule is scientifically sound. End of story. According to some, the matter is so settled that anyone questioning the data or pointing out inconsistencies and/or research showing harm should be executed as punishment for “lying.” This despicable call for violence came from editorial staff at the Boston Herald. The whole nasty mess started with a measles outbreak in Minnesota, the blame for which has been placed on a large Somali community where vaccination rates have declined in recent years due to parents’ concerns about vaccine safety. Measles Outbreak Blamed on Unvaccinated Somalis According to reports, of the 51 documented measles cases in Minnesota, 47 were unvaccinated; 46 were Somali. In all, only 42 percent of the Somali population in Minnesota received the measles - mumps -rubella (MMR) vaccine in 2014, down from 87 percent in 2005 and 2006. The reason for the decline in MMR vaccination is easy enough to understand. Research has demonstrated that Americans of Somali descent have nearly double the rate of autism than the general public, and personal experiences with their children’s health deteriorating after vaccination have raised serious questions and suspicions in the Somali community that the MMR vaccine might play a role. As reported by Inquisitr: 1 “In 2013, a report from the University of Minnesota estimated that about [1] in 32 Somali children ages [7] through [9] … had been diagnosed with autism in 2010 … The lack of vaccination in the Somali community in Minnesota led to a report in [The] Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine. 2 That paper indicated that most parents in the Somali community refused vaccines because they believed that vaccines caused autism. When asked why they felt that vaccines cause autism, every single one of the parents reported that they feel that vaccines cause autism ‘because they knew a child who received the MMR vaccine and then got autism.’ One-fifth of the Somali Minnesotan parents had researched the topic themselves ‘and believed that science supports the connection’ between autism and vaccines.” Boston Herald Takes Cyberbullying to a Whole New Level In what has been called a “scalding anti-anti-vax op-ed,” 3 the Boston Herald’s May 8 report on the Minnesota measles outbreak concluded with the following statement: 4 “These are the facts: Vaccines don’t cause autism. Measles can kill. And lying to vulnerable people about the health and safety of their children ought to be a hanging offense.” This obnoxious paragraph led to hundreds of angry comments, at least one of which pointed out the hanging threat was an open violation of Massachusetts’ 2014 law against cyberbullying. 5 , 6 Others rightfully suggested that if lying to the public about health was a hanging offense, then many high-ranking health officials, researchers and drug manufacturers would earn a place at the front of the line. 7 As extreme as the Boston Herald’s comment is, it’s not the first time mandatory vaccination proponents have made callous calls for violent action against those questioning vaccine safety. As noted by The Vaccine Reaction, published by the National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC): 8 “In March … Scientific American published an article by Peter Hotez, M.D,. of Texas Children’s Hospital, also inciting violence against people who do not agree with current government vaccine policies. Dr. Hotez stated: ‘An American antivaccine movement is building and we need to take steps now to snuff it out.’ In 2015, USA Today published a column by Alex Berezow advocating that ‘anti-vax’ parents should be imprisoned. At the time, that seemed to be a draconian proposal, but certainly less so compared to today’s calls for execution.” Claims of Coincidence No Longer Hold Water Vaccine injuries are becoming like cancer — the prevalence is so high, most people know someone who has suffered a serious side effect from a vaccine. And, as vaccine injuries multiply, claims of "coincidence" are getting increasingly harder to swallow. This is precisely what we’re seeing among Minnesota’s Somali community, where many now reject the MMR vaccine based on the community’s firsthand experiences. Another example is Mississippi. It has one of the highest vaccination rates in the U.S. It also has one of the highest autism rates. 9 Another coincidence? In the absence of firm proof either way, many parents call for the legal right to make voluntary decisions about which vaccines their child should receive and if or when they should be given. Indeed, being able to exercise informed consent to medical risk-taking, including making voluntary decisions about vaccination, is one of the most basic human rights we have. The numbers of children suffering with chronic illness and disability, including autism spectrum disorders, are increasing. Of this there is no doubt. The numbers of children and adults who have experienced serious vaccine reactions are also increasing. Of this there is no doubt either. Boston Herald, Retract Your Hate Speech To simply turn a blind eye to these phenomena would be foolish in the extreme. Threatening violence in an effort to scare people away from looking at the possible links, if anything, should be deemed a criminal offense. Barbara Loe Fisher, president and co-founder of the NVIC, has warned for many years: “If the State can tag, track down and force individuals to be injected with biologicals of known and unknown toxicity today, then there will be no limit on which individual freedoms the state can take away in the name of the greater good tomorrow.” Considering we’re now seeing rhetoric calling for the killing of anyone advocating for safer vaccines, more humane vaccine policies and informed consent protections, it seems reasonable to say we’ve entered some very frightening territory. If leading news outlets are allowed to call for lethal action against people accused of “lying” about vaccines when they are more likely simply reporting facts and raising concerns that contradict the official rhetoric, then what comes next? Most states don’t even allow capital punishment for mass murderers, yet Boston Herald editors want to hang people for bringing up the possibility that vaccines might do harm?! I join neurodevelopment disorder researcher James Lyons-Weiler, 10 author of “The Environmental and Genetic Causes of Autism,” in calling for the Herald to retract the editorial and issue an apology for its inflammatory comments. This kind of hate speech cannot be tolerated. Fact on Legal Record: Vaccines Are Unavoidably Unsafe In 1986, Congress passed the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act, a law that includes provisions shielding vaccine manufacturers and doctors from liability when a vaccine causes a permanent disability or death. 11 The reason drug makers and doctors were granted wholesale immunity against liability was because Congress and the Supreme Court concluded that government licensed vaccines are “unavoidably unsafe,” 12 and vaccine makers therefore should not be held liable for vaccine injuries and deaths resulting from government mandated vaccines. Remember that Supreme Court ruling whenever drug industry bobbleheads insist that the science is settled and vaccines are “safe.” Government licensed vaccines have been declared unavoidably unsafe, and that’s a matter of legal record. 13 , 14 More importantly, the science is still wide-open with regard to whether or not vaccines cause autism. Recent Research Reopens Vaccine-Autism Question A paper 15 published in the peer-reviewed, open-access Journal of Translational Science on April 24, 2017, is a cross-sectional study of 6- to 12-year-olds exploring the association between preterm birth, vaccination and neurodevelopmental disorders, using data from both vaccinated and unvaccinated populations. Preemies receive the same vaccines and number of doses recommended by the federal childhood vaccination schedule as full-term babies, and on the same time schedule, and the impact of vaccines on preemies has never been evaluated. Premature birth is a well-known risk factor for neurodevelopmental problems. However, here they found that when premature infants were not vaccinated, the association between preterm birth and neurodevelopmental disorders was nonexistent. They also found that: Term birth with vaccination was associated with a 2.7-fold increase in the odds of neurodevelopmental disorders compared to unvaccinated full-term babies Preterm birth with vaccination was associated with a 5.4-fold increase in the odds of neurodevelopmental disorders compared to the odds of neurodevelopmental disorders given term birth and vaccination Preterm birth with vaccination was associated with a 12.3-fold increased odds of neurodevelopmental disorders compared to preterm birth without vaccination So, is the science truly settled when one of the first studies of its kind — one that actually compares vaccinated versus unvaccinated populations —finds vaccination increases a child’s odds of a neurodevelopmental disorder such as autism by 270 percent? I’m not saying “vaccines cause autism.” I’m saying it’s unscientific to say “vaccines don’t cause autism.” Overwhelmingly, the evidence tells us that scientists still do not know for sure either way — which is why we so desperately need more and better quality research. In the meantime, death threats for reporting on and investigating these controversies are what really needs to be “snuffed out.” More Research Questioning Vaccine Efficacy I recently interviewed Neil Miller, medical research journalist, on his outstanding book “Miller’s Review of Critical Vaccine Studies: 400 Important Scientific Papers Summarized for Parents and Researchers.” His book has two studies that he personally published that document serious concerns about vaccines. Our fascinating interview will be posted later this year but in the meantime, I wanted to share the highlights of the interview by mentioning the two studies Miller published. The U.S. requires infants to receive 26 vaccine doses, the most in the world, yet 33 nations have better infant mortality rates. His first study, published in 2011, 16 analyzed the vaccination schedules of 34 developed nations and found a significant correlation between infant mortality rates and the number of vaccine doses infants receive. Nations that require the most vaccines tend to have the worst infant mortality rates. The study found that developed nations that require the least number of infant vaccines tend to have the best infant mortality rates. His second study, published in 2012, 17 analyzed 38,801 reports in the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) of infants who had adverse events after receiving vaccinations. Infants who received the most vaccines concurrently were significantly more likely to be hospitalized or die, compared to infants who received fewer vaccines concurrently. This study was designed to determine a) whether infants who receive several vaccines simultaneously rather than fewer are more likely to be hospitalized or die, and b) whether younger infants are more likely than older infants to be hospitalized or die after receiving vaccines. Not Knowing Whether Vaccines Cause Autism Is Not the Same as Being Sure They Don’t In 2013, a physician committee at the Institute of Medicine (IOM), National Academy of Sciences, concluded that the current federally recommended childhood vaccine schedule for infants and children from birth to age 6 had not been adequately studied for safety, 18 and that studies are needed to examine the: Long-term cumulative effects of vaccines Timing of vaccination in relation to the age and health of the child Effects of the total load or number of vaccines given at one time Effect of vaccine ingredients in relation to health outcomes Biological mechanisms of vaccine-associated injury More specifically, the IOM committee concluded there was insufficient scientific evidence to determine whether or not the numbers of doses and timing of federally recommended vaccines children receive in the first six years of life are associated with the development of chronic brain and immune system disorders that affect a child’s intellectual development, learning, attention, communication and behavior, such as ADD/ADHD , learning disabilities and autism. There’s Not Enough Evidence to Confirm or Deny Causation Before that, the IOM’s vaccine safety review, “Adverse Effects of Vaccines: Evidence and Causality,” 19 published in 2011, which looked at eight specific vaccines, including the MMR, concluded there was insufficient evidence to either confirm or deny causation for most reported poor health outcomes — including autism — following receipt of these vaccines. In other words, based on the scientific evidence, WE DO NOT KNOW whether vaccines cause autism. So again, when one-size-fits-all vaccine proponents claim to know the score and that “vaccines don’t cause autism,” they’re not telling the whole truth. Should they hang by the neck for that? Importantly, the IOM’s 2011 report also highlighted the fact that: Some people are more vulnerable to suffering vaccine reactions and injury for biological, genetic and environmental reasons In most cases physicians do not know what those individual susceptibilities are It’s virtually impossible to predict ahead of time who will be harmed by vaccination First Do No Harm What this tells us is that we need to apply the precautionary principle of “first do no harm.” Insisting on a one-size-fits-all vaccine schedule guarantees that a certain number of people will be harmed, although we do not know exactly who or how many, since we still don’t know exactly why and to what extent some people are more susceptible to vaccine damage than others. The issue of vaccine safety is truly one of epic proportions, because the side effects, when they occur, are typically lifelong or lethal. We cannot afford to abandon the conversation about vaccine safety out of fear of harassment (or the threat of hanging), because the issue of forced vaccinations is cropping up everywhere you turn these days. For example, a recent bill before the Texas House of Representatives to reform the state's foster care system included a sneaky provision requiring foster children to get prompt medical exams. 20 Suspecting the provision had the aim of forcing vaccinations, retired medical consultant Bill Zedler, R-District 96, introduced an amendment to prevent doctors from vaccinating foster children during these legally required medical exams, upholding parents’ rights to make vaccination decisions. Public Health Measures to Prevent Disease Must Include Safeguards for All We must continue pushing for greater safety for all children and adults, not just for those lucky enough to be free of individual susceptibility to vaccine damage. Human sacrifice is no longer a permissible religious practice. Why should it be permissible in medical practice? As noted in The Vaccine Reaction: 21 “[E]ach of us has the basic human right to be informed about any medical intervention a doctor proposes to perform on us or our minor children, and we have the right to consent or not to consent to that intervention … According to Barbara Loe Fisher … informed consent is an ‘overarching ethical principle in the practice of medicine for which vaccination should be no exception’ … ‘We maintain this is a responsible and ethically justifiable position to take in light of the fact that vaccination is a medical intervention performed on a healthy person that has the inherent ability to result in the injury or death of that healthy person.’” Original Page: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2017/05/30/boston-herald-calls-for-violence-against-vaccine-safety.aspx Shared from Pocket

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Shocking New Low in Vaccine Debate — Boston Herald Calls for Violence Against Those Who Question Vaccine Safety Dr. Mercola By Dr. Mercola The vaccine industry, public health organizations and many media outlets parroting the pre-established talking points insist that the science on vaccines is settled: Vaccines are safe and the childhood vaccination schedule is scientifically sound. End of story. According to some, the matter is so settled that anyone questioning the data or pointing out inconsistencies and/or research showing harm should be executed as punishment for “lying.” This despicable call for violence came from editorial staff at the Boston Herald. The whole nasty mess started with a measles outbreak in Minnesota, the blame for which has been placed on a large Somali community where vaccination rates have declined in recent years due to parents’ concerns about vaccine safety. Measles Outbreak Blamed on Unvaccinated Somalis According to reports, of the 51 documented measles cases in Minnesota, 47 were unvaccinated; 46 were Somali. In all, only 42 percent of the Somali population in Minnesota received the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine in 2014, down from 87 percent in 2005 and 2006. The reason for the decline in MMR vaccination is easy enough to understand. Research has demonstrated that Americans of Somali descent have nearly double the rate of autism than the general public, and personal experiences with their children’s health deteriorating after vaccination have raised serious questions and suspicions in the Somali community that the MMR vaccine might play a role. As reported by Inquisitr:1 “In 2013, a report from the University of Minnesota estimated that about [1] in 32 Somali children ages [7] through [9] … had been diagnosed with autism in 2010 … The lack of vaccination in the Somali community in Minnesota led to a report in [The] Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine.2 That paper indicated that most parents in the Somali community refused vaccines because they believed that vaccines caused autism. When asked why they felt that vaccines cause autism, every single one of the parents reported that they feel that vaccines cause autism ‘because they knew a child who received the MMR vaccine and then got autism.’ One-fifth of the Somali Minnesotan parents had researched the topic themselves ‘and believed that science supports the connection’ between autism and vaccines.” Boston Herald Takes Cyberbullying to a Whole New Level In what has been called a “scalding anti-anti-vax op-ed,”3 the Boston Herald’s May 8 report on the Minnesota measles outbreak concluded with the following statement:4 “These are the facts: Vaccines don’t cause autism. Measles can kill. And lying to vulnerable people about the health and safety of their children ought to be a hanging offense.” This obnoxious paragraph led to hundreds of angry comments, at least one of which pointed out the hanging threat was an open violation of Massachusetts’ 2014 law against cyberbullying.5,6 Others rightfully suggested that if lying to the public about health was a hanging offense, then many high-ranking health officials, researchers and drug manufacturers would earn a place at the front of the line.7 As extreme as the Boston Herald’s comment is, it’s not the first time mandatory vaccination proponents have made callous calls for violent action against those questioning vaccine safety. As noted by The Vaccine Reaction, published by the National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC):8 “In March … Scientific American published an article by Peter Hotez, M.D,. of Texas Children’s Hospital, also inciting violence against people who do not agree with current government vaccine policies. Dr. Hotez stated: ‘An American antivaccine movement is building and we need to take steps now to snuff it out.’ In 2015, USA Today published a column by Alex Berezow advocating that ‘anti-vax’ parents should be imprisoned. At the time, that seemed to be a draconian proposal, but certainly less so compared to today’s calls for execution.” Claims of Coincidence No Longer Hold Water Vaccine injuries are becoming like cancer — the prevalence is so high, most people know someone who has suffered a serious side effect from a vaccine. And, as vaccine injuries multiply, claims of "coincidence" are getting increasingly harder to swallow. This is precisely what we’re seeing among Minnesota’s Somali community, where many now reject the MMR vaccine based on the community’s firsthand experiences. Another example is Mississippi. It has one of the highest vaccination rates in the U.S. It also has one of the highest autism rates.9 Another coincidence? In the absence of firm proof either way, many parents call for the legal right to make voluntary decisions about which vaccines their child should receive and if or when they should be given. Indeed, being able to exercise informed consent to medical risk-taking, including making voluntary decisions about vaccination, is one of the most basic human rights we have. The numbers of children suffering with chronic illness and disability, including autism spectrum disorders, are increasing. Of this there is no doubt. The numbers of children and adults who have experienced serious vaccine reactions are also increasing. Of this there is no doubt either. Boston Herald, Retract Your Hate Speech To simply turn a blind eye to these phenomena would be foolish in the extreme. Threatening violence in an effort to scare people away from looking at the possible links, if anything, should be deemed a criminal offense. Barbara Loe Fisher, president and co-founder of the NVIC, has warned for many years: “If the State can tag, track down and force individuals to be injected with biologicals of known and unknown toxicity today, then there will be no limit on which individual freedoms the state can take away in the name of the greater good tomorrow.” Considering we’re now seeing rhetoric calling for the killing of anyone advocating for safer vaccines, more humane vaccine policies and informed consent protections, it seems reasonable to say we’ve entered some very frightening territory. If leading news outlets are allowed to call for lethal action against people accused of “lying” about vaccines when they are more likely simply reporting facts and raising concerns that contradict the official rhetoric, then what comes next? Most states don’t even allow capital punishment for mass murderers, yet Boston Herald editors want to hang people for bringing up the possibility that vaccines might do harm?! I join neurodevelopment disorder researcher James Lyons-Weiler,10 author of “The Environmental and Genetic Causes of Autism,” in calling for the Herald to retract the editorial and issue an apology for its inflammatory comments. This kind of hate speech cannot be tolerated. Fact on Legal Record: Vaccines Are Unavoidably Unsafe In 1986, Congress passed the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act, a law that includes provisions shielding vaccine manufacturers and doctors from liability when a vaccine causes a permanent disability or death.11 The reason drug makers and doctors were granted wholesale immunity against liability was because Congress and the Supreme Court concluded that government licensed vaccines are “unavoidably unsafe,”12 and vaccine makers therefore should not be held liable for vaccine injuries and deaths resulting from government mandated vaccines. Remember that Supreme Court ruling whenever drug industry bobbleheads insist that the science is settled and vaccines are “safe.” Government licensed vaccines have been declared unavoidably unsafe, and that’s a matter of legal record.13,14 More importantly, the science is still wide-open with regard to whether or not vaccines cause autism. Recent Research Reopens Vaccine-Autism Question A paper15 published in the peer-reviewed, open-access Journal of Translational Science on April 24, 2017, is a cross-sectional study of 6- to 12-year-olds exploring the association between preterm birth, vaccination and neurodevelopmental disorders, using data from both vaccinated and unvaccinated populations. Preemies receive the same vaccines and number of doses recommended by the federal childhood vaccination schedule as full-term babies, and on the same time schedule, and the impact of vaccines on preemies has never been evaluated. Premature birth is a well-known risk factor for neurodevelopmental problems. However, here they found that when premature infants were not vaccinated, the association between preterm birth and neurodevelopmental disorders was nonexistent. They also found that: Term birth with vaccination was associated with a 2.7-fold increase in the odds of neurodevelopmental disorders compared to unvaccinated full-term babies Preterm birth with vaccination was associated with a 5.4-fold increase in the odds of neurodevelopmental disorders compared to the odds of neurodevelopmental disorders given term birth and vaccination Preterm birth with vaccination was associated with a 12.3-fold increased odds of neurodevelopmental disorders compared to preterm birth without vaccination So, is the science truly settled when one of the first studies of its kind — one that actually compares vaccinated versus unvaccinated populations —finds vaccination increases a child’s odds of a neurodevelopmental disorder such as autism by 270 percent? I’m not saying “vaccines cause autism.” I’m saying it’s unscientific to say “vaccines don’t cause autism.” Overwhelmingly, the evidence tells us that scientists still do not know for sure either way — which is why we so desperately need more and better quality research. In the meantime, death threats for reporting on and investigating these controversies are what really needs to be “snuffed out.” More Research Questioning Vaccine Efficacy I recently interviewed Neil Miller, medical research journalist, on his outstanding book “Miller’s Review of Critical Vaccine Studies: 400 Important Scientific Papers Summarized for Parents and Researchers.” His book has two studies that he personally published that document serious concerns about vaccines. Our fascinating interview will be posted later this year but in the meantime, I wanted to share the highlights of the interview by mentioning the two studies Miller published. The U.S. requires infants to receive 26 vaccine doses, the most in the world, yet 33 nations have better infant mortality rates. His first study, published in 2011,16 analyzed the vaccination schedules of 34 developed nations and found a significant correlation between infant mortality rates and the number of vaccine doses infants receive. Nations that require the most vaccines tend to have the worst infant mortality rates. The study found that developed nations that require the least number of infant vaccines tend to have the best infant mortality rates. His second study, published in 2012,17 analyzed 38,801 reports in the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) of infants who had adverse events after receiving vaccinations. Infants who received the most vaccines concurrently were significantly more likely to be hospitalized or die, compared to infants who received fewer vaccines concurrently. This study was designed to determine a) whether infants who receive several vaccines simultaneously rather than fewer are more likely to be hospitalized or die, and b) whether younger infants are more likely than older infants to be hospitalized or die after receiving vaccines. Not Knowing Whether Vaccines Cause Autism Is Not the Same as Being Sure They Don’t In 2013, a physician committee at the Institute of Medicine (IOM), National Academy of Sciences, concluded that the current federally recommended childhood vaccine schedule for infants and children from birth to age 6 had not been adequately studied for safety,18 and that studies are needed to examine the: Long-term cumulative effects of vaccines Timing of vaccination in relation to the age and health of the child Effects of the total load or number of vaccines given at one time Effect of vaccine ingredients in relation to health outcomes Biological mechanisms of vaccine-associated injury More specifically, the IOM committee concluded there was insufficient scientific evidence to determine whether or not the numbers of doses and timing of federally recommended vaccines children receive in the first six years of life are associated with the development of chronic brain and immune system disorders that affect a child’s intellectual development, learning, attention, communication and behavior, such as ADD/ADHD, learning disabilities and autism. There’s Not Enough Evidence to Confirm or Deny Causation Before that, the IOM’s vaccine safety review, “Adverse Effects of Vaccines: Evidence and Causality,”19 published in 2011, which looked at eight specific vaccines, including the MMR, concluded there was insufficient evidence to either confirm or deny causation for most reported poor health outcomes — including autism — following receipt of these vaccines. In other words, based on the scientific evidence, WE DO NOT KNOW whether vaccines cause autism. So again, when one-size-fits-all vaccine proponents claim to know the score and that “vaccines don’t cause autism,” they’re not telling the whole truth. Should they hang by the neck for that? Importantly, the IOM’s 2011 report also highlighted the fact that: Some people are more vulnerable to suffering vaccine reactions and injury for biological, genetic and environmental reasons In most cases physicians do not know what those individual susceptibilities are It’s virtually impossible to predict ahead of time who will be harmed by vaccination First Do No Harm What this tells us is that we need to apply the precautionary principle of “first do no harm.” Insisting on a one-size-fits-all vaccine schedule guarantees that a certain number of people will be harmed, although we do not know exactly who or how many, since we still don’t know exactly why and to what extent some people are more susceptible to vaccine damage than others. The issue of vaccine safety is truly one of epic proportions, because the side effects, when they occur, are typically lifelong or lethal. We cannot afford to abandon the conversation about vaccine safety out of fear of harassment (or the threat of hanging), because the issue of forced vaccinations is cropping up everywhere you turn these days. For example, a recent bill before the Texas House of Representatives to reform the state's foster care system included a sneaky provision requiring foster children to get prompt medical exams.20 Suspecting the provision had the aim of forcing vaccinations, retired medical consultant Bill Zedler, R-District 96, introduced an amendment to prevent doctors from vaccinating foster children during these legally required medical exams, upholding parents’ rights to make vaccination decisions. Public Health Measures to Prevent Disease Must Include Safeguards for All We must continue pushing for greater safety for all children and adults, not just for those lucky enough to be free of individual susceptibility to vaccine damage. Human sacrifice is no longer a permissible religious practice. Why should it be permissible in medical practice? As noted in The Vaccine Reaction:21 “[E]ach of us has the basic human right to be informed about any medical intervention a doctor proposes to perform on us or our minor children, and we have the right to consent or not to consent to that intervention … According to Barbara Loe Fisher … informed consent is an ‘overarching ethical principle in the practice of medicine for which vaccination should be no exception’ … ‘We maintain this is a responsible and ethically justifiable position to take in light of the fact that vaccination is a medical intervention performed on a healthy person that has the inherent ability to result in the injury or death of that healthy person.’”

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 · Fenugreek is widely available and relatively inexpensive ($15-$20 for a 30-day supply of 300 mg capsules) in retail and online dietary supplement stores, including the brand used in this study, Testofen. The only adverse health effect noted by the study research team was upset stomach reported by three of the 27 men receiving fenugreek.

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