#so yeah i kinda just rushed to finish it now cuz i'm tired and i wanna move on and be at peace when drawing new stuff

[ridl]

jolly cooperation (ganqing dark souls au)

[thecarelessvoice]

My new hyperfixation is Lee Do Hyun (not surprised bcuz exhuma 😞👌👌🥵)

So it was a given that i'd checked out his other works, and now I'll give each of his dramas that I've seen my personal rating ^^

- 18 again - 7/10 ~ watched this one with my mom, immediately knew it was based on 17 again with zac Efron (god I'm old TT), had great laughs and tons of funs, i knew kim haneul and yoon sang hyun from before, he was super cute and his acting was solid.

- death's game - 10/10 ~ very good plot, his episode was also very good, amazing setting and also seo in guk??? God he broke my heart in this

- the glory - 1000/10 ~ I CANNOT EXPRESS IT WITH MY WORDS HOW MUCH GOOD THIS ONE WAS!!!! I honestly had heard its name but i was busy at the time the hype for it was going on (I'm not a big kdrama watcher) anyways started watching it and IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!! like not only he was great in it but the other??? Song hye kyu and lim jiyeon!!! My goddesses!!! They slayed every scene!! Tbh everyone were fantastic in it. Like I see myself to go back and rewatch it.

- melancholia - 4/10 ~ I'm not sure how to put it but this one was just not for me, again he did a good job on it, i liked some of the characters like the professor and si wan, it did get slightly more talorable by episode 8 but... i just didn't really connected to it. I kinda hate student- teacher romantic love and the chemistry between the leads were a bit off and honestly i would've liked it better if they'd decided to ditch the romance plot and make it platonic. (I liked the found family trope)

- the good bad mother - 8.5/10 ~ this mf reaally went all in!!! Like he really did it all for this drama. Loved a lot of scenes, him and the twins were so cute, him and mi-joo? Chef's kiss!! Amazing chemistry ❤️❤️❤️ but i just hated the mother's character and it's cruel of me but i was kinda glad for her ending, also too much heartbreak and frustrating scenes.

-sweet home- watched all the seaons and boy we had another umbrella academy/game of thrones plot fuckery 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Season 1 - 10000/10 ~ i loved every-single-episode!! Fantastic actings, very very good plot, enjoyable characters, good soundtracks. His character??? One of his bests!!! Which is awesome cuz from what i know season one was from his earlier works. His chemistry between lee si yeong and song kang??? My goddddd

Season 2 - 3/10 despite knowing that he was not in it i watched it anyway cuz i'd ended up immersed with the whole thing not just his character(same with glory ig) and it was... yeah not good at all, i think the problem was the gap between the seasons (probably covid 19 was the factor) but yeah they had all this time to work on it but they just blew it

Season 3 - 5/10 bittersweet and very very rushed ending, so many unanswered questions and honestly i felt empty after i finished it. But he was super hot and again his chemistry with song kang and min si is top tier. (I'm thinking of reading the manhwa to heal my soul cuz I've heard it was way more better and different)

I haven't watched youth of may and i probably won't cuz it was unfortunately heavily spoiled for me so I'll put it away for now, also for some reason i ended up watching a lot of tik tok edits of it XD. (Aaand I'm kind of tired of romance dramas)

[idioticsky]

I'm sorry..

Word count:1,650

Tw: mentions of violence, blood depicted, and vaping

It had been a long day at the motherlobe, and the last thing Lili wanted to do was make dinner or do anything. She just wanted to head to bed and sleep the rest of the night. She opened the door to see the living room was a hot mess, Raz was still at the motherlobe for whatever so the only person who could've forgot to clean up their shit would be Sora.

"Sora! Get your ass out here!" Lili yelled.

Sora slowly made his way to the living room, still waking up a bit.

"What is this?!" Lili asked, looking around the living room.

"What was left over from everyone rushing around this morning?.." Sora answered, clearly to tired to care at the current moment.

"Yeah, and I gave you one chore to do today, and what was it?"

"I was given chores for today? I must've forgotten cuz of classes today."

"It was to clean the living room because Raz and I were going to be back late." Lili said, clearly about to snap.

"Speaking on that, where is Raz anyway?" Sora asked, still kinda tired.

"Not the point Sora! I gave you one thing to do and you didn't!" Lili snapped, then she sighed. "You're grounded for the rest of the week, go to your room."

"Wha- that's not fair! I forgot ok?! I-"

"I'M FUCKING DONE TODAY! OK?!" Lili snapped again, clearly done now. Sora flinched at the yelling, then slowly shrunk back into himself. Lili sighed as she slowly calmed down, "room, now." She finished before leaving the room.

"Yes ma'am.." He said as he made his way to his room, letting his telekinesis clean the living room before slowly fading away.

--------------------------------

The next morning was.. rough to say the least. Raz and Sora were arguing when Lili woke up, once she walked into the living room and Sora noticed her, he went quiet.

"Morning.." Lili said, still waking up for the most part.

"Hey." Raz said while going over and kissing her forehead. Lili looked around for a moment, she swore that she heard Sora's voice earlier, but he's nowhere to be found.

"Oh, he's right over-" Raz started are he turned around- "where did he go?"

Sora was already outside, he grabbed out his bike and made his way to the motherlobe. He was stressed, not in the way that school work or grades would make you, stress from family was different. It made him want to avoid his mom from what happened from last night. What if he forgets something else?

"Fuck, I need to stop thinking.." Sora thought while he hid his bike in the questionable area, then climbed up a tree onto the platforms. He rummaged through his bag and pulled out a small book labeled "vent." He started to write and draw.

--------------------------------

Sora had spent hours drawing and writing until he heard someone climbing up.

"Hey! You're here earlier then I thought-" Marshall said as he noticed the notebook- "Stressed again?"

"Yep.."

"I think I got something that could help." Marshall said as he pulled what looked like a stick out of his bag and tossed it to Sora. He took a good look at it before looking up at Marshall with his face saying wtf.

"Put it in your mouth and breath in."

"Ok?" Sora said while doing what Marshall said, then he broke out coughing. Marshall comforted Sora until he calmed down.

"Ok, now you know what will happen, try it again."

"..." Sora did as he was asked then blew out a puff of smoke.

"This.. this feels nice.."

"I knew you'd like it." Marshall said, smiling with every word.

--------------------------------

It had been a few days since Lili and Sora had their argument, and it had been a few days of Sora avoiding Lili. Lili didn't really know what to do or who to ask for help, so she just hoped he'd cool off at some point so that they could talk. Sora on the other hand was feeling great, with the vapes Marshall gave him every few weeks or so, he could calm down and relax. He's even been going out more.

Sora made his way to the motherlobe to meet with Marshall.

"Hey!" Sora smiled. "Ready to head out?"

"Mhm, but how exactly do you expect us to get to the main city? It's like a 6 hour walk."

"Who said anything about walking?" Sora asked as he used his telekinesis to bring over a dirt bike he hid next to the motherlobe.

"Woah! When did you save up for that?" Marshall asked.

"I've been saving for a few months now."

"Cool, wait, do you even know how to ride that thing?"

"Yeah, my bio dad taught me when I was like 5 and I've been riding ever since, it was the only cool thing he ever did heh."

"Fun, do your parents know about us heading out?"

"Why would they? If they found out they'd already stopped us from getting this far." Sora said while throwing a helmet to Marshall.

--------------------------------

Lili came by the motherlobe later that day, hopping to find Sora so that they could talk. She looked around almost everywhere trying to find Sora before she heard someone.

"Hey Lili." Miles said while holding a gift basket.

"Oh, hey Miles, what's got you here today?"

"Just bringing a gift to my sister, and you?"

"Looking for my son, I really have no clue where he went."

"Oh, I saw Sora earlier, he was heading out with a blonde kid, said they were going to the city I think?"

"Wait what?"

"Yeah they left like an hour ago on a dirt bike."

Lili starred at Miles for a second before starting to head outside.

"Oh that kid is dead." Miles said while he made his way to his sister's office.

--------------------------------

Once Sora and Marshall made it to the city, Sora wasted no time in taking Marshall to he's favorite places from when he lived there with his bio dad. It felt great to show everything to someone, the good parts of his childhood were all here just waiting to be showed off.

"So you can running back? Thought you liked it with your new momma." A familiar voice said. The sound rang in Sora's ears, it made his heart race with panic, it made his body go pale, it made his terrified. The man put his arm around Sora like everything was fine, Marshall was confused as he looked at the tall man before him.

"Aw, come on buddy, you got nothing to fear, dad's here to take you home." Sora's father said as he started to take Sora out to his car. Sora was powerless, he wanted to do something and free himself but he couldn't, his powers didn't wanna work or was it just him who was too much of a coward to do anything? Then he heard something a groan of pain as he snapped back to reality, his fist bloody as he looked at his father on the ground before him. Shit.

--------------------------------

Marshall dragged Sora back over to the dirt bike and put him on. The whole thing with his dad ended with a fight breaking out, they only managed to get away because Sora started a small fire causing a distraction big enough for them to run.

"You think you could drive us home?.." Marshall asked, Sora nodded as a response.

"I can take us home, but I can't promise that I'll be awake once we get off the bike.."

"Fuck.. your moms gonna kill us isn't she?.."

"Mhm.."

"Great.."

--------------------------------

Once they got back, Marshall dragged Sora up to the steps and knocked on the door. They were soaked to the bone and the gash on Sora's head hasn't stopped bleeding. Lili opened the door and started to go off.

"What the hell were you thin-" Lili started before she noticed Sora as he was slowly going limp while Marshall held him up- "get him inside, now." Lili finished as she went to go get the medical supplies. Marshall laid Sora on the couch, making sure he stayed awake incase he had a concussion.

"What the hell happened anyway?" Lili asked as she sat down next to the couch, concern in her tone.

"His dad found us.." Marshall replied. Lili immediately got pissed off, she thought that they would never have to hear from that prick again but he managed to find Sora and Marshall in the city? How the fuck? Doesn't matter right now, her son comes first.

"Sora, can you look at me bud?" Lili asked, Sora slowly moved his eyes to look at her. "Ok, fuck what do I do?"

"W-Well I don't have a concussion I think.. but I have no clue about internal bleeding.. taking me to the-" Sora started before coughing up blood, yeah he's fucked up. Lili immediately picked up Sora and took him out to the car, Marshall following close behind her.

--------------------------------

It took hours of waiting before Sora because stable enough for people to see him. He had a broken rib and internal bleeding but luckily the doctors fixed what they could. Lili walked into the room with Marshall. Sora looked up at them the best he could while he was numb on drugs. Lili could barely hold herself back from crying as she hugged her son and started breaking down.

"I was so worried about you.. I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry I yelled that night.. I'm sorry that caused a rift between us for weeks.." Lili said as tear streamed down her face. Sora cuddled up to his mom, not really worrying about him injuries. He was happy to have his mom back. Marshall, not wanting to ruin the moment, sat next to the bed and watched for a moment.

"I love you momma.. sorry for making you worry.." Sora said as he slowly fell asleep.

[slabicanz]

How it feels..... To be one of us....

Waking up sweating, I'm drenched, FUCK! Guess I had another bad dream, I'm really trying this time, seems like I keep on forcing myself not to be seen, holding in my screams, really wanna cry, all I can do is shake, making it harder inside for me to take, I can't do nothing without it, FUCK!! I keep missing, FUCK IT! Enough is enough! I'm done with the tease, I know what the fuck I need, an itty bitty squeeze, yup... I go and get me a tie, here we go again, that's when I get down on my knees, asking why, now I'm fuckin begging the gods to Give me some sort of relief.......PLEASE!....if y'all don't mind giving me some form of everlasting peace....... Man. ...

I'm so sick n tired of feeling like one of the sheep........

sheesh......

So here I am, this is great,

I'm kneeling on this dirty bathroom floor, shit, why can't i seem to get a single break? Now somebody's knocking on my motherfucking door!

FOR FUCK SAKES !!

"Ummmmmmm shit..... hey!,

I'm busy, can u give me like five more minutes to finish taking a shit, and handle my business in here patna is that OK? "

What the fuck? Mr. Snake, hurry it up, it's starting to get late, go ahead bite me, sink your poisonous teeth into my veins, don't you make another mistake, just one more bang, really hope I don't miss, c'mon u little bitch, why you always trying to play, HURRY it up! Any day now, fuck man now I'm getting enraged, u little slut I hit the same vein way earlier today.....so really what the fuck is up, you must love cutting me up watching me bleed and seeing me wait............

(POW)

That sudden rush, makes the bad thoughts go a stray, immediately it takes my soul away, to another fantasy world, in a very magical place, I guess it's kinda fucking hard to explain, the strain..... Or how beautiful the ugly shit really tastes...... the truth is that I seriously hate the shit, I swear upon my life, I feel like nothing but a disgrace...... goddammit........it always leaves me feeling like I just got raped.........i can't fucking stand it........I get so damn irate , but for no reason, cuz I already know that it's fake.........so why let it irritate me when i know it only lasts for a few minutes.....yeah man l, that's just great.....

it's like an unimaginable, unfathomable, immaculate, misconception,

All us fucked up junkies simply call

AN ESCAPE...........

($abicanZ)