#so thanks brain now instead of movin on i'm just gonna be hung up on the imaginary version of him you cooked up. forever probably
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oh I get it now the dream fucked me up cause it showed me a version of him I could never even imagine before
#even my fantasy ones are always kinda.....abusive or bordering on it. cause that's the only way i've ever known him#the stupid thing is i think this brain was goin for the opposite effect. i was supposed to realize that even if he#did fall in love w/ me it wouldn't change much#in the dream it'd taken a really long time but in reality it wouldn't. he'd get bored of me in like....weeks. months at most.#but ofc the only thing i care about is the snippets of the early days#when he'd realized his feelings n did a full 180 n set out to make me his w/o a care in what anyone thinks or about the money#but still somehow managed to seem like.....himself.#so thanks brain now instead of movin on i'm just gonna be hung up on the imaginary version of him you cooked up. forever probably#i don't even want the kinda relationship he does....he's too damn possessive.....got no interest in his one sided monogamy thing#but FUCK#it's been days!!!#spdrvent
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