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#so right out the gate it is literally 100% impossible to be a good Christian and respect other religions.
theduchessofnaxos · 1 year
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I just got fucking Catholic anti-queer propaganda blazed to me.
Hey Tumblr, I'm a gay transgender Jew. Maybe don't show me that shit.
Unless the goal was to entrench me even further in my belief that Christianity is a hate religion that's somehow managed to convince WAY too many people that hate is love. If that was the goal, good job, I do find Christians even creepier and more hateful than I did ten minutes ago.
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thoughtlessghost · 4 years
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Salem ou alekoum fellow disbelievers,
I decided to write this story down because one of my friends is currently questioning Islam. She said it might be a good idea for me to share my journey to help her and others find inner peace once you have walk out of something you grew up thinking was correct. I think I will make this a 2-3 parts series depending on interest and how she deals with just part 1. There's a lot to go through, and I will try to be brief, but I do not mind elaborating on any section in the comments or private. I am very open and confident about who and what I am. Finally, I want to have at least one part dedicated to my current worldview with the hopes of helping you guys create your moral landscape.
Finally, I would like to complete this preface by saying that I know that we all have personal reasons for leaving a Religion. Some of you have left the faith because you felt as though it was too controlling; others may have felt that God was simply too cruel. I will say that in the end, those were not the deciding factors for me. In my view, only Truth matters. Therefore, for me to stop believing in a concept, it merely has to be proven untrue, whether scientifically or logically. So my journey of leaving Islam did not originate because I had problems with its takes on the world. They occurred in large part because I feel as though Islam is inconsistent with our understanding of the natural world. Given the purpose of writing this is to help people, and that most people don't make decisions based on logic, I will try and emphasize how events and not thoughts affected my worldview to help illustrate how and when the transition occurred.
1. Humble beginnings: I know everybody has a different upbringing, so I would like to give you guys some context of how familiar I was with Islam growing up as a child (4-12). For starters, I am the eldest son of first-generation Algerian immigrants to Canada. This is just to tell you I'm brown, and I went to a school surrounded by non-muslims. In school, I was a troublemaker. I was basically this brainy kid who cared so little of rules and norms that I was almost transferred to this school for a learning disability. In response, my dad would beat the shit out of me every day for not being an obedient student despite my grades being decent (during that period B to B+). Despite his sincerest efforts, I never learned or changed. I'm only saying this because it made Arabic school impossible for my parents to manage since I simply refused to do my regular homework from school. My thinking was something like this: "What's the point of going to ANOTHER school on the weekend and spend all of my time off doing pointless alphabetical exercises in a language no one other than my parents spoke?" This, in turn, limited my exposure to Islam since I didn't interact with other Muslim kids. Finally, my parents bestowed upon me few Islamic teachings or practices. For instance, I fasted, I didn't eat pepperoni pizza, I was a relatively good kid, and I knew of prayer. Still, it wasn't something we did in our household. So I basically ended up with the same amount of knowledge of Islam and Arabic as Mohammed did when he was visited by Gabriel.
2. The quest begins: By the time I reached 14, I began to change mentally (One would only hope). I had stopped being this rebellious kid and became a book worm. I read encyclopedias, watched documentaries, binged read Wikipedia and genuinely wanted to learn everything the world had to offer. Therefore, religion seemed like the next logical step. Another reason that pushed me to that position is my first adolescent trip to Algeria. It was the first time I had truly been exposed to Islam, and I felt like I got a good whiff of what it meant to be a Muslim. And so, I decided I had now come of age and was of sufficient maturity to read the Quran and become a proper Muslim. I purchased a translated version of the Holy Book and waited until nightfall to open it. I vividly remember the mindset I put myself in before opening the book. I told myself the following things:
1. Bismillah. (YAH BOY) 2. I am about to read a book written by a being that is not human. (how fucking cool is that?!) 3. It is a book of ultimate and limitless knowledge and is the literal word of God.   4. It will guide me now and forever, for it is a timeless work meant to guide all of humanity.
By the time I made it halfway through Al-Baqarah, the second chapter of the book, I was mortified. For whatever reason, God presented himself as a terrifying merciless being. So many verses spoke about how powerful God was, and for some reason, it felt weird to me. It's almost like Bill Gates flaunting billions at a homeless person or a fisherman trying to shame a fish on how it cant breathe once it's out of water. I also felt as though too many verses spoke about eternal damnation instead of collective upbringing. In essence, it wasn't the book I expected. I was hoping for the key to save my soul and help humanity. All that ran through my head was that I was unworthy and had to dedicate myself or else face the consequences. But I persevered. Over the next few days, I kept reading while trying to keep an open mind, but I was definitely feeling perplexed. What I could not wrap my head around was the following: If God can indeed do anything, why can't he have a son?  Like all this talk about how Powerful he is, but he can't have a son?
It was around this time I started to explore other religions. However, there were so many religions that existed that it would take an eternity to study and contemplate every single one. So I elaborated the following shortcuts:
1. I skipped Judaism because a "true" faith can't have fewer subscribers than the city of New York. That also threw a bunch of other religions out the window. In my view, a Divine being should do a good job of spreading his work even if he has to do it remotely. 2. I skipped polytheistic religions like Hinduism because multiple Gods seemed odd to me. 3. Buddhism didn't have a deity, can we, therefore, call it a religion?
By that flawless logic (lol), I thought that Christianity was likely to be the One True Faith. But there were inconsistencies. For starters, the faith had multiple subdivisions and multiple versions given the Bible was written after the life of Jesus. Suffice to say, I agreed with most Muslim criticisms towards Christianity's essence manipulated by men. If Christianity is the real deal, then God would have cared a little more. As a side note to my thinking, the book of Narnia really helped me appreciate Christianity. It portrayed a more merciful caring version of God that wanted what was best for his disciples and all that existed. Yet the feeling of a merciful and just God was simply not sufficient to make me convert.
And so I started to think about atheism. However, I could still feel the presence of God. In the end, I just felt discouraged. I wrapped my head around the whole thing when I realized there was a possibility I was simply too immature to understand Islam or the Quran. So, in the end, I decided to postpone my immersion in the faith until later.
3. I committed: By the time I reached 16, I had started rereading the Quran, which actually flowed better this time around. I was relieved to know that my 14-year-old self was simply too childish. Eventually, I stumbled upon a verse akin to the following: Oh, Believers look into the world, and you shall see evidence of Islam. It felt as though God challenged me to learn science and search for proof of his existence in the natural world. And so, I did.
So one thing that occurred to me growing up is that I wanted to learn everything. By the time I reached 12, I thought to myself that if I knew every word in the dictionary, I would end up knowing everything. But the dictionary was dull. So, I decided that if I know how all things came about by reading history, then I would end up knowing everything. So when I read that verse that said learn science, I was ecstatic.  I just doubled down on my readings and started to focus more on scientific theories. I read about physics and the origin of the universe. I read on chemistry and the nature of matter and atomic bonds. By the time I reached biology, Darwinism quickly became very problematic. I thought really long and hard about how to counter it. I started to read into Intelligent Design and watched Islamic Scholars debate atheists. Still, it didn't make sense to me since the evidence for evolution was just overwhelming.
I voiced some of my concerns to a Muslim friend of mine in High School, and we had this long-winded conversation in which he convinced me he was right. I wish I remembered exactly what he said, but I remember him instilling upon me enough doubt to make me not drop the faith. Following that conversation, I decided it was time to commit to Islam finally. Here are a few things I started to do: 1. I started praying 5-7 times per day. 2. I read the Quran. 3. I would watch videos daily on what it meant to be a Muslim and how I can improve on my practice. 4. I would fast every once a while. 5. I went to the mosque whenever I could since it was far from where I lived. 6. I even helped start our prayer group in High School. In that group, we would all sit and eat together. We shared food, laughter and drinks. We were a brotherhood through and through, and for a time, it was good.
Reflecting on this period, I was one standard deviation from being in a CIA hit list. I literally messaged Benjamin Netanyahu on YT, encouraging him to stop his occupation of Palestine and to seak a peaceful approach when engaging with my brothers and sisters. Despite these friendly messages, some darker thoughts flowed through me. So I will say that there definitely is some credence to the idea that the more radical a Muslim is, the more you should worry about him, especially if he is a dude.
So when I say I genuinely believed 100% of what the Quran said, I really did. Some people will say: "Well, yea, I also used to be that way too." Well, I think I took it to another degree. For instance, when I used to walk, I would think to myself there are two people next to me—these immortal, holy beings made of light were sent by God to watch over my every move. I must, therefore, walk and behave in the utmost perfect ways to not only impress them but also uphold my honour. I was 16. 
4.The Masturbation/sleep problem:
Now I'm going to say that the period mentioned above lasted about 6 months. During this period, despite my holier than thou behaviour, I was still a man, and I had urges dawg. Every once in awhile, i.e, once a week, I would lament hypothetically at my hypocrisy. Repression creates obsession; truer words have never been spoken. The more I fought my urges not to masturbate, THE MORE I HAD TO. I created this whole inner mathematical system based on the number 19 since its a particular Islamic number. Basically, I would only masturbate around times when I could calculate 19. To me, it meant God approved of my addiction. I ended up using the time since my alarm clock was next to me. Its such warped logic don't look too much into it for when there is a will there is a way and I can get creative. Here are a few noteworthy examples:
1.Its 1:09 AM. Shit that's 19 to me since all you have to do is ignore the 0, and you have 19. 2. Its 1:45 AM. You guessed it 19. 3.7:00 PM. 19. 4. 12:07 PM. Unzip. 5. 12:17. PM shit, that's 19 too. 12+(1 times 7). Guess its Time for round 2.   6. 12:35 PM. FUCK I have to again you see 1+2+35=38, which is 19 times 2. EYYYY
[Insert COOMER MEME.]
To get over this dissonance, the Devil was responsible for these intrusive thoughts. I was a holy man of God, after all. But the voice that told me to unzip my pants and wax my carrot was the EXACT same voice that told me to go bed when I didn't want too. In the end, I knew deep down temptation doesn't come from the Devil. It comes from me. I decide what I do with my life, not some off-world entity. Keep in mind for later its just this thing I noticed. The Mosque event: So the day started like any other Friday prayer. The Imam began to speak about how God has no equal. He went on about how great and awesome of a sky Chad he was. He said that although he had no equal, there was another being that was insanely powerful as well. My eyes lit up, for I loved Islamic lore. He said that among non-God entities, the strongest was Gabriel. Eventually, he went on to say how to associate any other thing to God's power was literally the worst crime a human could commit. Shirk was worse than murder, he said. It literally guarantees you a trip to Hell.
And so given that I was human when I am told not to think about something, I immediately start to think about it. So I began to think well what if Gabriel stood up to God. I do not know what came over me but I got a literal panic attack from this. [Insert meme it was at this moment he knew he fucked up]
As the Imam had so eloquently put it to associate anything to God, you just committed the worst sin ever. I kept trying to tell myself not to think about it. Still, it just kept repeating it over and over again despite my sincerest efforts. I legit left the mosque and went back home and prayed all night, hoping God would forgive me.
The next morning was wild. I was basically schizophrenic since I kept thinking God was going to smite me for I have sinned. Crossing the street was so hard since I felt God would turn a car invisible and run me over or would simply kill me there where I stood. I lived in utter fear since I felt as though I had a bounty on my head. The inner world that I worked so hard to create had fallen apart from stupid, intrusive, thoughts. How the mighty have fallen.
5.Rethinking the Conspiracies:
A few days later, I started to rethink everything inside my head once I started to calm down. I felt as though my fears were way too irrational for the type of person I usually am and that I could not regain my sanity by thinking I was unworthy. I just simply had to work my way back up to the top fam.
During this time, I also began to rethink my understanding of the political world. For starters, as far back as I can remember, I have always been anti-authority. I believed in political realism, and so large corporations or governments always used their powers to oppress others. And so, what began as a soft-hearted liberal who thought 911 was an inside job turned into a cult of devil worshippers who rule the world and are trying to get us into the End Times.
This political worldview of a small elite who use the Devil to gain off-world power was further validated my understanding of Islam. In my view, the END WAS NEAR. Eventually, people took my ideas and thoughts in High School, and it became its own thing. Just to give you context on the time here, but it was when Lady Gaga dropped Bad Romance, and Kanye West and Jay-Z dropped Watch The Throne. We would analyze the videos and look for satanic imagery, but I always felt like that was a tad bit too far. Why are they being so apparent about something that's supposed to be secret? Predictive-Programming can only go so far after all. I began to pushback on this worldview, and I went so far back that Islam was caught in the cross-fire.
This turned into a three-month-long journey. I started by revisiting natural selection, and I realized that I duped myself. I just did not understand natural selection well enough to defend my position 6 months ago. I read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. I binged watched George Carlin, and he really helped me overcome any anxiety I had towards leaving my faith because, like him, I really did want to believe in a deity, but I started to realize all of the inconsistencies. [I will elaborate more on this in a later part]
5. The social consequences: By the time I left my faith, I was open about it. I have always been vocal about what I believe in, and I simply told all of my prayer brothers why I stopped going to prayer. Needless to say, they weren't pleased about it. Unlike Elementary School and as a result of our immigration policies, High School had more Muslims in it, and many hated or criticized me for questioning the faith. As time went on, they became more toxic and vicious in their opposition, and so I called them out on their shit. I told them that I am on a journey like each and every one of them, and if they don't want to talk to me anymore, I would not care, and if they wanted to fight me, then bring it on. It was the last time any of them said anything to my face that was negative. Some of them never spoke to me again, some spoke to me less. I respected their choice and moved on; whether they respected mine mattered not. All that I cared about was that I felt that I was moving forward in my life. Eventually, the Muslim prayer group fell apart, and everything went back to normal in my High School.
Now, all of what I wrote happened about 10 years ago, and despite standing up to my fellow peers, I still haven't mustered up the courage to tell my parents. Honestly, I'm glad I still haven't. To this day, I have a good relationship with them, and they are far more religious now than they were. It seems like an egregiously unnecessary thing to do that will not only sour my relationship with them but also with their future grandkids. That just seems too selfish for my liking despite my usual vocal tendencies.
End of part 1.
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Does Deuteronomy 21:18-21 Command the Death Penalty for Disobedient Kids? Um, NO, and Here is Why.
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Sometimes, Christians encounter folks who try to take Bible verses that they don’t understand out of context and use it as a tool to attack their faith. This happens over and over again, and oftentimes many believers are not well versed and prepped enough to give good responses to such tactics. This is a tragedy, for not only are many chances for evangelism lost this way, but many Christians can doubt their faith if scripture is presented to them in a twisted (and at times dishonest) manner.
 Deuteronomy 21:18-21 in one such passage used in this regard.
 Here it is in full:
“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So, you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.”
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Sounds pretty rough! I mean, getting killed for simply being rebellious, oh my!!!!
 And to kill a little kid for this? No way!!
Well, as it turns out, there is no way.
 For one, look at the passage more closely. Pay careful attention to verse 20:
 “and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.”
 A glutton…and a drunkard.
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Now, I’ve heard of kids eating more than they should. Heck, as a child I once ate so much ice cream in one setting that I ended up going to the bathroom to have a technicolor yawn.
 But drunkenness?
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How many alcoholic kindergarteners do you know?
How many third graders are in AA?
How many 12-year olds have DWIs?
How many toddlers say their best friend is Jack Daniels?
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Drinking is not the vice of kids; it’s the vice of teens and adults.
 By now the skeptic will pounce on the idea that a teenager is in view in the passage, and thus its still the stoning of a child for being rebellious.
 That would be interesting…if the Torah law code was meant to be followed literally.
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But, a funny thing about ancient near eastern law codes…they weren’t meant to be followed literally.  They were descriptive, not prescriptive. There was a lot of leg room to do things other than what was literally written down as punishments. Indeed, we see this in scripture: Both David and Bathsheba committed adultery, and David had her husband killed. By the Torah laws, they should have been executed (Genesis 9:6, Leviticus 20:10, 24:17), and the passages make no exceptions for kings and their concubines. 
And yet…we don’t see any Hebrews clamoring for David and Bathsheba’s executions. Though the affair and the murder would be secrets for a time, Nathan the Prophet confronted David about both (1 Samuel 12), and David later wrote about his sin in Psalm 51. Its intro even speaks about his affair with Bathsheba! Yet Nathan doesn’t clamor for David’s execution, and God himself doesn’t even call for it. He does kill David’s firstborn with Bathsheba for their sins, which at first seems like a contradiction of Deuteronomy 24:16, where it states “Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sin.” However, there is a BIG difference between human authorities punishing a child for the sins of his or her father, and God himself taking vengeance on someone by taking their child from them. In the latter case, God himself is the one intervening, and he is not bound by Torah laws: we are. You see, the Torah is patterned on Suzerain Vassal treaties. Ancient Near Eastern Suzerain Vassal treaties-treaties made between a greater and lesser kingdom- had obligations that the vassals had to meet in service to the greater king. The Greater king didn’t have to fulfill these obligations; the vassal did. In return, the greater king would protect them. Thus, the greater and lesser kingdoms were not bound by the same laws. This is why it is not considered murder when God takes a life, or theft when he takes things from people (Job 1:21). So, God killing David and Bathsheba’s firstborn isn’t a violation of Deuteronomy 24:16. But notice: God doesn’t command the Israelites to execute David and Bathsheba. Nathan the Prophet could have called people to arms and had them slain before dawn and yet…God didn’t call him to do so, even though the literal letter of the Law states that they were to be executed.
 This is a big indicator that these laws, in terms of the punishments they prescribe, were not meant to be taken literally.
 Indeed, David had a son so rebellious that he led a revolt. Absalom tried to dethrone his father! Numerous people died, and yet David told his generals Joab, Abishai and Ittai to spare his life in a coming battle (2 Samuel 18:5). Nathan didn’t rebuke King David for not following the Torah law about rebellious sons to the letter. David’s order was not carried out; Joab and several others killed Absalom (2 Samuel 18:14-15). When David learned of this, he mourned, wishing he had died instead of his son (2 Samuel 18:31-33).
 Does that sound like someone raised in a culture where sons often died due to being rebellious?
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Does that sound like someone who would willingly let his son be stoned for being rebellious in the normal (non-military) way?
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And…why didn’t Nathan confront him over this, if the Torah laws required the death of disobedient sons?
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Also, the Torah taught that those who broke the Sabbath were to be put to death (Exodus 35:2), and yet...priests who performed their priestly functions on the Sabbath were not. Indeed, they were commanded by God to do so on the Sabbath (Numbers 28:9-10)! Jesus himself pointed this out when Pharisees criticized his disciples for plucking heads of grain to eat on the Sabbath (Matthew 12:1-8). He also reminded them of how David ate the bread of presence, which was only to be eaten by the priests...without being called a sinner for it (compare Leviticus 24:5-9 with 1 Samuel 21:1-6). 
Plus, when it came to punishments, there are indicators that a fine could be used instead of execution for a capital offense. Consider Numbers 35:31;
“Moreover, you shall accept no ransom for the life of a murderer, who is guilty of death, but he shall be put to death.“
This is interesting for three reasons: 
1. Murder was only 1 of several capital offenses in ancient Israel. 
2. The Torah doesn’t forbid fines as an alternative punishment in other capital offenses.
3. The Bible indicates elsewhere that fines could be used as alternative punishments for a capital offense. Read Exodus 21:28-30:
“When an ox gores a man or a woman to death, the ox shall be stoned, and its flesh shall not be eaten, but the owner of the ox shall not be liable. But if the ox has been accustomed to gore in the past, and its owner has been warned but has not kept it in, and it kills a man or a woman, the ox shall be stoned, and its owner also shall be put to death. If a ransom is imposed on him, then he shall give for the redemption of his life whatever is imposed on him. “
Given this, the Torah indicates that all capital offenses besides murder could be punished by a fine instead of execution. That right there indicates a lot of legal legroom, instead of people having to abide by a literal 100% no exceptions law of execution. Combined with  other biblical evidence, and the reality of ancient near eastern law codes, we can therefore conclude that the Torah law code was originally intended to be descriptive. It was only later in history that people started reading a prescriptive nature into them.
Indeed, we get further clarity about the nature of Torah Law in the story of the woman caught in Adultery in John 8:1-11. A woman caught red-handed in an affair was brought to Jesus by Pharisees and scribes, who mentioned that, according to the Law of Moses (aka the Torah, aka the Pentateuch), a woman guilty of adultery was to be stoned. This is very intriguing, for not only does the Torah require the death of both the man and woman guilty of adultery (Leviticus 20:10, Deuteronomy 22:22), but the prescription for stoning was not for an adulteress wife, but a betrothed virgin who was sleeping with a man he wasn’t betrothed to (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). Betrothal was far more binding than a modern engagement; you had to get a divorce if you wanted to break it off (Matthew 1:18-19). The only other way out was death. Sexual relations weren’t allowed until marriage, but otherwise betrothal had most of the legal aspects of marriage. Thus, this woman had been betrothed, not a wife yet. Still, for her to sleep with someone other than her betrothed was still considered adultery, and if one went by the Torah laws literally, she and her lover were to be stoned. This was a trap; if Jesus said that she should be stoned according to the Law, then he could get into hot water with the Romans, who didn’t allow the Hebrews to execute anyone without the Roman governor’s permission. This made such executions legally impossible. However, if he said “Don’t kill her!’, then they would accuse him of taking liberties with God’s Law.
 So…what did Jesus do?
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At first, he wrote on the ground. Then, as they pressed him more, he said “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” (John 8:7).
 Funny thing happened; the Pharisees and Scribes walked away.
 This teaching of Christ not only showed that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), its also another indicator that the Torah Laws weren’t meant to be taken 100% literally. The Torah laws weren’t just a law code; they were mean to convey a message, to prove a point. God is all righteous, and his nature demands perfection. This is why none of us can work our way into Heaven: 1 sin is enough to damn us to Hell. We cannot be perfect; we cannot lead perfect lives.
 Hence, why we need Jesus of Nazareth.
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Sources:
 "Adam to Daniel: An Illustrated Guide to the Old Testament and Its Background" by Gaalyahu Cornfeld, page 452.
“Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible (NIV)”, page 1826.
“The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament” by Craig S. Keener, page 45, 193.
“ Deuteronomic Theology and the Significance of Torah: A Reappraisal” By Peter T. Vogt, 27.
https://books.google.com/books?id=bQRpj-GxN_AC&pg=PA27&lpg=PA27&dq=Torah%2BVassal%2BTreaty&source=bl&ots=SMaXFIQFyh&sig=ACfU3U2fYbXQwQnj5TR1cWSGCTUsF3pQ-g&hl=en&ppis=_e&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwin79jFxLjoAhUNLK0KHWe6AhUQ6AEwEXoECAoQAQ#v=onepage&q=Torah%2BVassal%2BTreaty&f=false 
https://digitalcommons.liberty.edu/fidei_et_veritatis/vol1/iss2/2/ 
https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Lost_World_of_the_Torah/K9iGDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=Torah%2Blaw%2Bcodes%2Bdescriptive%2Bprescriptive&pg=PA19&printsec=frontcover
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