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triple-7-heaven · 2 years

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It's Been A Long Day

a/n: Yves has a long day of practice and reader insert offers to give her a massage to relax her; knowing Yves, it ends in more than just a massage. this one's just sweet gentle sex with a sweet gentle girl with a lot of focus on her body cuz god damn girl pairing: male reader x yves; words: 1.5k ; categories: loona, yves, reader insert, smut, massage(?)

"I'm sore," Sooyoung groaned as soon as she came through the door and tossed her gym bag to the floor. She was sweaty, you could tell she'd worked hard that day; her hair stuck to her forehead, there were dark spots on her shirt, her face glistened.

"Hard day?" you asked as you eyed her up and down.

"Yeah, dance practice, then I went to the gym after. Going to the gym, after dancing? What the hell. I can hardly move," she said. She sat on the couch next to you and you kissed her forehead.

"Well, I'm proud of you for your hard work, baby," you said with your arm around her shoulders. Your mind wandered to Sooyoung's body, the body she worked so hard to maintain. She sighed and you could feel her muscles trembling just a little.

Jeez, she must have overdone it...

"Hey, Sooyoungie... You want a massage, maybe?" you asked. Sometimes you'd rub her down after a long day, and it did as much for you as it did for her. She nodded, and you scooped her up to bring her into your bedroom. She sat on the edge of your bed while you grabbed a towel and some massage oil. You lay the towel on the bed and Sooyoung stood to let you undress her. You slowly ran your fingers over her arms, then took hold of the bottom hem of her shirt. You pulled it up slowly and she winced as she lifted her arms over her head. You leaned down and kissed the center of her chest; you tasted her sweat when you licked your lips and she smirked at you. You moved on to her shorts, sliding them down her long legs and taking her hand to help her step out of them. Finally, you helped her remove her sports bra, probably the most challenging part so far. It clung to her body due to her sweat and its small size, but you managed. Sooyoung lay down on the bed, and you straddled her hips. You poured a line of oil from her upper chest all the way down to her stomach, right above the line of her panties. She shuddered at the coldness of the oil.

"Mm. You're the best..." she whispered and turned her head to the side. Her arms rested over her head. You wasted no time warming up the oil. Your hands started working it into her skin, rubbing her toned abdomen in circles, using your thumbs to really dig into the muscles. You squeezed her hips and savored how she felt in your hands. You moved all the way up and rubbed her shoulders as well as you could from the front. You got brave and squeezed her breasts. She groaned and you kept going, even rolling her nipples between your fingers. Sooyoung arched her back slightly and you smiled down at her. You started to rub her arms. You worked her biceps well and she sighed. You rubbed her forearms, and made small circles in the centers of her palms. This delicate gesture made her smile, and she hummed for you to come kiss her. You met her lips happily, hands on her waist, and she started to bite your lips. You pulled away and shook your head at her playfully. You hopped off of her, rolled her onto her stomach as she giggled, and straddled her again. You added some more massage oil to her back.

"My shoulders are the worst..." she mumbled. You spread the oil over her back and dug your thumbs into the muscles of her shoulders. She gave an enthusiastic groan. You moved her hair and used one hand to squeeze the back of her neck. After working her back and shoulders well, you got off of her again and ushered her to the edge of the bed so her legs hung off. You poured oil on her thighs and massaged them well, toned muscle running underneath your hands, Sooyoung's own hands on your shoulders.

"You should really take it easy, baby," you said as you moved to work her calf muscles. "I don't want you to really hurt yourself."

"I guess you're right... I need to be at my best right now," she responded. You kissed her inner thighs and she ran a hand through your hair. "But maybe I can afford a little more exercise today..."

"No way. Let me do the work, pretty girl," you said in a sultry tone. She giggled and tilted your face up to kiss you. Your hands ran up and down her legs while you made out with her; her tongue was sweet against yours and you moaned softly. She broke the kiss and you went back to kissing her thighs. You made a trail up one side, and then placed a kiss in the center of her panties. She inhaled sharply and your fingers found the hem of her panties to pull them down. You gently lifted her legs to place them on your shoulders and dipped your fingers between her folds to find her dripping wet already. You smiled to yourself and sucked your fingers to taste Sooyoung, then started to rub her clit slowly. She moaned very softly, she must've really been exhausted. You brought your mouth to her cunt and licked her up and down. You sucked on her clit gently and pushed two fingers inside of her. Her breath hitched and you found the delightful rough patch a few inches deep that made her throw her head back in pleasure when you stroked it. You continued working her clit with your tongue and fingering her steadily. Her legs weakly squeezed your head and trembled.

"Fuck, I... Baby..." she sighed. You maintained your pace for a few minutes, and eventually Sooyoung's breathing quickened, the trembling spread from her legs through the rest of her body, and she doubled over, grabbing your head and shoving you into her. Her sweetness spilled over your tongue and you eagerly swallowed it all. You gently removed your fingers from her. You stood up and picked up Sooyoung softly to place her on the bed with her head on the pillows. You put on a small show for her, a show of pulling your shirt off, pouring a bit of oil into your hands and rubbing down your torso. She bit her finger as she absolutely devoured you with her eyes. You unbuckled your belt and cast it to the side. You dropped your pants and grabbed the bulge in your boxers to show Sooyoung how hard you were for her, and she smiled at you devilishly. You crawled onto the bed and she reached weakly for your boxers. You pulled them off so she wouldn't have to struggle. She traced her fingers over your chest and stomach, down over your legs, finally taking your cock into her hand. She stroked you slowly and you sighed. You got up on your knees and ran your hands over her thighs before parting them slowly. Her cum was still dripping out of her hot center.

"Mm... gently," Sooyoung mumbled. You nodded and stroked her cheek. You pulled her closer to you and lined up your tip with her entrance, and her hands closed into fists. Your hard shaft slid into her dripping cunt easily. Both of you moaned when your legs met hers and the tip of your cock reached new depths inside her. Your hands wandered over her waist and chest, grabbing at her curves, massaging her breasts, Sooyoung sighing with every sweet touch. You moved in and out of her with a slow and gentle rhythm, savoring how she felt around you. It was hard to keep yourself from fucking her harder, but you knew she couldn't take it; not that night. Her eyes were wide as she gazed up at you, her mouth slightly open. Her sensual expression combined with the stunning beauty of her oily, tight body drove you crazy. You palmed her breasts and slowly fucked her tight, dripping hole for a few more minutes, before deciding Sooyoung probably needed to get to sleep.

"I'm close, sweetheart... Where?" you panted.

"Ah... Chest..." she whispered. You'd hoped she would say that. You pulled out and straddled her, jerking yourself off, and she placed her hands on your legs. You fought to keep your eyes on her as you came and covered her chest in hot cum. She smiled softly while watching you get off to her body; she absolutely loved the effect she had on you. When you finished, you flopped onto the bed next to her. She slowly gathered up your cum on two of her fingers and licked it off until she'd gotten it all.

"You need a shower," you said. Sooyoung hit your shoulder.

"You think I can get up and shower now? I'm not moving," she laughed.

"Guess I'll have to wash you off myself, huh?" you said. She rolled over and huffed. You pulled the sheet up over her body and stole a glance at her adorable sleeping face. You knew you could pick her up and carry her to the shower, but for now, you resolved to let her rest.

#loona smut #loona #loona x reader #loona x male reader #loona fanfiction #yves x reader #yves x male reader #girl group smut #kpop fanfic

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becauseiameverywhere-blog · 5 years

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Cœur Brisé

Pairing: Seulgi X Jimin Type: One shot Genre: Angst Word Count: 6,605 Summary: This is where Seulgi’s happiness slipped out of her arms. (Real summary is on the following lines ;) )

P a i n

"우리 헤어지자 (Let's break up.)"

One sentence three words.

You left me alone.

You, who made me laugh, smile, proud is now leaving me.

And I...

and I...

was left alone, all alone.

All alone to mend my heart.

All alone to suffer.

All alone to see you happy.

All alone to cry.

All alone.

I can still remember it, we met at han river at midnight of July 15 it was during our promotion of 'Red Flavor', I happily went to you, happily hugged you, telling you how much I missed you. I was happily telling you what happened during our fan signing event, telling you what Sooyoungie and Yerim did to me and played a prank to me again, I was telling you this fan who came in wearing a cute dress. I was telling you that another fan gave me a cute teddy bear and it reminded me of you.

Until those words slipped through your beautiful lips.

I really do not know if I heard it right, so I asked you again. You took a deep breath and looked at me in the eye, "미안해. 우리 헤어지자 (I'm sorry. Let's break up.)"

I just stood there, thinking what you meant, looking at you I thought you were just kidding so I laughed it off, but you were so serious that you were not even laughing.

"Why? Did I talk too much? O-or did my breath stink? Or do you hate me talking about my fans?" I was now looking at you with all seriousness. "Seulgi, hajima." I still did not listen to you and still insisted on talking about my flaws, "I-is it about me? Did I perhaps bored you? Or, or, did, did you find some-" I was frantic and my breathe was already heavy, I was already teary eyed, then you shouted at me. "Hajimalago Seulgi!" I immediately stopped, shocked, my tears suddenly poured out of my eyes, "Why!? Why are you breaking up with me!? Give me a reason!" I waited for your answer, but nothing came out of your beautiful lips, "Tell me! Don't just tell me let's break up! Why!?" With our argument getting heating up, you took a deep breath agitated and irritated already, "Do you want to know? Do you really want to know?" you looked at me intensely, "나는 너를 더 이상 사랑하지 않아 (I don't love you anymore.)" As soon as you said those words my heart which has been aching so badly, felt like it was breaking into pieces.

"You are lying! You!" I pointed at him while still crying, "Stop lying to me!" I started punching your chest, desperately wishing and hoping that you are lying, "Stop lying Jimin! Stop lying!" You just stood still while receiving my punches with your head down, "Jimin, why? Please... Don't do this to me." I don't care if I look like a mess already, I don't care if I look like a crazy person, I don't care a damn thing anymore!

You caught my hands and looked at me in the eye, "Geumanhae Seulgi, we are through! How many times should I tell you! Let's stop this." You let go of my hands and turned away, I hugged you preventing you to go, "Jimin... Please... Hajima... Please... Let's fix this." I was clinging to you, clingin to you as if I am going to die letting you walk away, away from my life. But you still broke free from my hug, as you walked away from me,it felt as if you took my heart in my chest then you literally crushed it with your hands. Without any strength left, I just sat and cried while watching you walk away from me, every step, breaking my heart, wishing that this was just a nightmare. Wishing that everything was just a joke. Because right now it feels like the world is throwing a prank to me.

I heard a shuffling beside me for a while I thought you came back to me, telling me that it is just a prank, that you were just joking, that you were testing me. But no, it was the Red velvet members who came for me at that time, they hugged me, they were trying to comfort me. Our manager even went there, instead of getting angry at me, she pat me on the back telling me 'Gwaenchana, let it all out'.

While we are on our way back to the dorm, everything that you told me replayed in my head, "미안해. 나는 너를 더 이상 사랑하지 않아. 우리 헤어지자 (I'm sorry. I don't love you anymore. Let's break up.)", that made me realize no matter how pretty a person's lips is, a cruel word or sentence could be created out of it. Tears uncontrollably pouring out of my eyes, lips trembling preventing for a sound to come out, mind bothered by unexpected shock, and heart, slowly but surely breaking into pieces.

No matter how many hardships we faced, the time will always come for us when we need to break up. No matter how many years we've been, no matter how many times we stayed quiet during the times when our fans suspected us of dating, no matter how many memories we have built together, no matter how many time we spent together. No matter how much we loved each other...

In the end, we would still break.

Through all of those promises, all of those secret glances and touches we shared, you still gave up on us.

When in fact, you were the one who told me you will never ever leave me.

I feel so empty without you.

I feel like a person dancing on my own.

I feel like a bird, who's wings were cut.

I feel like an empty doll.

I feel like a toy thrown away by its owner.

I feel like nothing.

When we entered the dorm no one asked me what happened, they just hugged me, they tried so hard to make me smile and laugh. But I just can't, I left them in the living room then went to my room, since Wendy is my roommate she followed me. She tried to coax me to tell her what happened, that they were surprised when you called her and told her that I was in han river alone. They asked you why but you ended the call.

I cried once again, the freshness of the wound, the pain, and the memory, it all flashed back to me.

"He said we should break up. H-he told me that, h-he doesn't l-love me anymore." More tears escaped my eyes as those words rang inside my head. "Wendy," I looked at her and she hugged me, "he said he doesn't love me anymore. I tried so hard... I tried to tell me that... that it was just a lie... I was waiting for him to tell me that it was just a joke..." I kept on crying, "Hush. Let it all out Seulgi." Wendy kept on patting my back until I unknowingly fell asleep, while in Wendy's arms.

Wendy

While Seulgi-bear was telling me what that Park Jimin told her, Joy, Irene and Yeri were actually listening, it hurts to see that our bear is crying not because of laughing but because of that punk!

After all of those promises he made to us, "I promise! I won't hurt Seulgi." Tch, words words words.

Aigoo.

That Park Jimin hurting our bear!

When I settled Seulgi on her bed I noticed that she was still crying and was murmuring that punk's name. Sigh, no matter how much you got hurt you still talk about him in your dreams. That punk must be taught a lesson!

When I looked at them their eyes were also burning with anger, oh boy, if looks could kill and thoughts could kill, that punk would be dead. When we went back to the living room we were discussing on what to do with Seulgi's broken heart, and about the punk.

Yeri was calling somebody, hoooo it must be her "friend" in a certain group, a certain group called BTS.

I shook my head, oh dear, another person who is possibly whipped.

I am going to plead and pray that Yerimie will not end up broken hearted like Seulgi.

"Bou!?" I almost jumped out of the sofa when Yeri shouted and looked so angry while staring at her phone. She looked so irritated and angry, "Wae? What happened Yeri?" Irene-unnie asked her, she then let us take a look on the article.

[HOT!] Netizens Speculate Jimin(BTS) and Jeongyeon(Twice) are Dating!

Love and Hate relationship which can be seen from these two members of a known idol group are now being seen by Netizens as a cover up to confuse people that they are not dating when in fact, they are! With the recent videos that resurfaced in a known site, Naver, showing how they react to each other. It has been the most searched term and has become a hot topic among netizens. Some of them are even telling that they are dating while some are telling them that they broke up in bad terms that is why that is happening. For you guys to judge it on your own you can watch the video below:

(Y'all need to use your imagination in here hhohohohohooh I meant no harm to those who loves Twice, but this is a needed way for me to make this story more ya' know. SO DO NOT GO AND SPREAD THE WORD THAT I DRAGGED JEONGYEON'S NAME FOR NO APPARENT REASON. Nope nope nope. As an avid Seulmin fan I am discouraged by it, that is why my inspiration got more fired up because of that issue. But I am still a Seulmin shipper ^^)

I read the comments. I mean, I should not believe in anything but watching the video made me uncomfortable, the way he looked at Seul, that was the way he was looking at Jeongyeon of Twice.

[+201,-23] ****ws

kkkkk. I knew it. They are dating.

[+123,-38] ***aw

Pfft. Delulu, they ain't dating, or maybe they are ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[+20,0] *****hsaj

Shipping it! ♥‿♥

[+55,-2] *******bass

Woah woah woah! I never knew this! Let me see more!

[+238,-22] ***sd

Lol, everyone keeps on pushing this through. But they do look so cute together though.

[+3,0] i***kjd

o(╥﹏╥)o

[+321,-81] ******waer

Why am I shipping this? Hmmmmmmmm. But damn, I still ship any idols to anyone who looks cute together. Btw, I ship red velvet with bts and now this arrived I am having doubts.

[+123,-23] ****kjdh

Lol, other shippers are gonna die after looking at this! They really do have a chemistry!

[+231,-67] ****e

(●´ω｀●) Fanfic! Fanfic!

Sigh, all of them are also sure that there is something going on between them.

"But if Seulgi knows about this..." Irene-unnie started, "It would break her more."

We all looked at each other thinking for other solutions to solve this, "We cannot let her see this, Wendy-unnie make sure that Seulgi-unnie will not read anything regarding this issue, we should confirm this first to the person itself or from a member from BTS." Joy said while reading the article again, I think she is searching for more articles connected to it. "Okay, then Yerim-ah, since you are close to Jungkook why don't you ask him? He might know someting about it." Irene-unnie suggested to Yeri.

"But, unnie," Yeri hesitated for a bit but nonetheless agreed, "I'll try." While Yeri is trying to contact Jungkook I went back to the room and checked on Seulgi who's sleeping.

"Unnie," Yeri immediately caught our attention, so I went back to the living room, she was looking grim while holding her phone. This is not a good sign. Our heart already sunked before we could hear it from Yeri. "Jungkook said that Jimin-oppa opened up to them and said that he..." she sighed deeply, "He said that he doesn't feel anything for Seulgi-unnie and that his feelings were directed to Jeongyeon. I just don't know how people's feelings could change that fast."

"Did he really just confirm everything? I mean." Joy was already fuming.

I heard the door just close, when I looked back I saw the door of our room opened.

Oh no.

This is bad.

I immediately stood up and went to the room.

"Seulgi-ah." I called out for Seulgi just to see that she is not in the room.

"Unnie! Seulgi heard our conversation!" I shouted and tried to contact Seulgi through her phone, "What?" Yeri also went to the room and saw that it was empty. Ottoke! Ottoke! Seulgi!

I heard her phone ring in the room and saw that she left it on the table.

"We need to find her! She left her phone!"

Seulgi-ah, where did you go?

Seulgi

I woke up and saw that Wendy is not here, I heard their voices in the living room when I was on the door I heard Yeri, "Jungkook said that Jimin-oppa opened up to them and said that he..." she sighed deeply, "He said that he doesn't feel anything for Seulgi-unnie and that his feelings were directed to Jeongyeon. I just don't know how people's feelings could change that fast."

What?

Jimin and Jeongyeon?

Ahh, that must be it. That's right I don't deserve him anymore. He is unfit to be with me. That's right he is suited for a top girl group. I laughed silently, mocking myself.

This must be a joke.

I got my wallet and wore a white hoodie and a mask.

I need to be alone.

I want to be alone.

This is just a joke, right?

I went out of the dorm quietly and ran. Ran away as far as I could, not minding the people I am bumping.

Not minding the rain.

This is not a movie or a drama, but why? Why is this happening to me? I became an idol like our dream together.

Jimin. We became a known idol. This is our dream together. But why?

Did you really love me?

Ah that's right. You don't love me anymore.

I kept on running not knowing where my feet will take me.

I just realized that I am in front of their company.

I just laughed, "Hah, what kind of sick joke am I playing?" Why am I even here? He won't be here, he won't look for me, he doesn't care about me anymore.

I took a taxi going back to my hometown.

I don't care how much I spend.

I just need to see them, my parents and oppa.

Because right now, I don't even want to continue being an idol.

I don't even know anymore.

When I reached my destination I saw that the door was locked, that's right Seulgi, they are still sleeping, before I could turn around and go to another place the door opened and saw mother.

"Aigoo! Seulgi-ah! You surprised me! What are you doing there! Come inside." Mother hugged me and without any warning my tears started to flow.

"Hm? Wae? Why is our princess crying? Did something happen? Huh?"

"Eomma..." I just kept on crying and crying while being on her arms.

I just kept repeating her name. Eomma just comforted me, it feels like she knows already but she kept quiet about it and just comforted me. "I really don't know anymore..." I started while crying, "Why? Did something happen?" Eomma just dried my tears with her hands and looked at me with concern, "Hng... I just want to stay here and quit everything." Eomma just kept on wiping my tears away, "Aigoo~ Our princess, everything in life is not all about being happy, we grow up by experiencing pain, rejection and mistakes. Eomma might not know everything what is happening to you but, our princess, fought so hard to become an idol, to shine and share your talents to everybody. Don't let a heart break destroy you Seulgi." I was still crying, "How did you know about that eomma?" She looked at me and smiled, "I know everything Seulgi, even if you don't tell me anything I know. You won't cry this hard even if you got scolded or made mistakes during your performance." My tears completely wiped away by eomma, "Show him! Show him that you are strong, show him that he just made you stronger and braver! You are our princess. You did not become an idol just to be left behind, you became an idol to show them that you are you and they must accept you. I'll call your other members and tell them that you will be spending the night here."

That's right, eomma is correct. I must be strong.

I must show him that I am strong. That I am fine even if he left me.

I'll be fine.

The next day I was fetched by the members and they scolded me for making them worry about me. I just went along with their teasings and tried to be happy. Trying to be happy, faking a smile pretending to be okay is hard. They knew how much I am hurting right now but the members still showered me with love. A month passes and I tried to remove his existence to my life. I flushed all of our memories together down the drain, I deleted our picture together, I threw away all of the things he gave me. I will be meeting him once again to end our relationship properly. At first, Irene-unnie was against this idea, but I made sure that they can trust me with this one. No matter how much they hate Jimin they cannot do anything since I kept on stopping them fron doing anything against him. They were even commenting negative things to Jimin as an anonymous person in a article regarding him. I stopped them and scolded them, telling them that they are not kids anymore and they should stop doing those things. Joy tried to rebel by being noisy but I just laughed at her, telling her to stop it and I'll tell her to Sungjae, with a pouting face and defying glare she said "Psh. Threatening me with Sungjae-oppa." and left the room while throwing a tantrum.

The doorbell clanged and I looked at who entered he hasn't arrived yet. The designated meeting time was 11AM but it has already been 30 minutes past the time, this coffee shop is not really relatively known and it is in a secluded place, this is where we usually meet and have a date, this place became a special spot for us, a happy memory, where I will be drawing him and he will just be sitting there looking at me.

"Hmmmmmm. Oppa." I looked at him while drawing his lips, he looked at me intensely, "Wae?" I was laughing at him and blushing at the same time, waaaaaahhhhhhh looking at his lips look so cute.

He looked surprised when I was laughing at him then he captured my face with his hands and played with my cheeks, "Oppa! I am trying to draw you! Hajimaaaa." He just kept on playing with my cheeks and gave a peck on my lips that I stopped laughing and started to blush heavily.

"Aigoo~ Yepo-da. You look so stunning while blushing." Jimin kept on complimenting me as I blushed harder, "Yah, don't distract me."

"Arasseo, arasseo. Just make sure I am really handsome in your drawing." You said while raising both of your arms.

I was laughing at the memory when Jimin sat on the chair opposite to mine.

"What do you want to talk about? I don't have time so make it quick." You asked with coldness in your voice, since I never got used to this voice of yours pain started to creep again on my chest. I snapped out and came back to the reality.

I hastily took out the box in my bag and slid it in front of you. "I just want to return these things to you. Thank you for everything, if you want to order something you can order it and put it on my tab. Then I'll go now." While I am packing up my things you looked at it and opened it. "Ah, you don't need to return these things to me, you can just throw it away." You slid the box back, "If you just want to see me you have to stop it Seulgi. I am already-" "Seeing someone else and I really love her." I continued and sighed. "I just wanted to return it to you, I have no other ulterior motives about it, and I already agreed that both of us should break up."

You looked surprised, "How did you know about me loving a different person?" I looked at you with my best poker face, "I just heard it." My mask was now falling apart as you came closer at me and I smelled a different perfume on you, a girl's perfume. Ahh, that's why he was late, he must have been all cuddly to her. She must be waiting outside. Before my mask falls of I stood up and went outside of the shop, then I got a glimpse of her waiting for you, she bowed to me then I also bowed to her out of courtesy and respect. I briskly went to my manager's car, "Oppa, let's go, I am done with my business here."

My tears still rolled down, and held my chest.

What a joke, stupid, stupid heart. Still beating for him. Still yearning for him. Haven't you had enough? He already broke you! Stop being a stupid heart!

That was the last thing that I had that made me remember you, the ring and necklace that you gave me, is the sign of me giving up.

"Don't ever remove this ring, Seulgi." I asked you while looking at you sliding the ring in my finger.

"Why?"

"This will the sign of us being a couple, so never ever remove it."

"I won't. I endured so much just to be with you so do you think I'll break up with you that easily? I'm not an easily girl, you know that Chimchim." I told you as I was looking at the ring adoringly.

"That's right, I also did not endure all of your jealousy and temper just to break up with you easily." You teasingly told me and as a retort I just glared at you and smiled at you while hugging you, "I really love you Chimchim."

"I love you too, my Seulgi-bear."

And yet, you easily broke up with me and I just accepted it. Because I already felt as if you don't love me anymore, those late night talks we spent together never happened anymore the last time we had a comeback before "Red Flavor", you never updated yourself personally with my schedules, you never bothered me anymore, you never gave the signs to me anymore. It was as if you are already bored with me, if I knew that the time you will be asking me out again would be the last time and would be the first time you will breaking my heart.

In every award shows that I see you I always avoided looking at you. I avoided looking sad while you are trying to show a love-hate relationship with your current girl.

I am fine.

I'll be fine.

This is nothing.

But when I saw you looking at her during their performance I turned away immediately.

Ahh. Stupid heart.

When I went to the coffee shop we found together I saw both of you enjoy yourselves, both of you laughing being clingy, sweet, and more in love, when you turned your head to my direction I immediately hid, when I peeked again you kissed her, before I could cry again I went out of the shop and have decided that I'll never return here anymore. The other members were trying to distract me and I kept on thinking about them, I tried to remove you in my brain. I spent every free time I've got in the practice room. Dancing and singing, improving my skills in everything just to get you out of my system. I became workaholic, I always spend my time in the practice room even when I got home from the studio I would always be doing something, I would draw, watch the TV, read a book, watch a movie. I went out with the members whenever we had time. I went to karaoke alone to sing out my bleeding heart.

Even after all of those efforts I did. Every time I close my eyes it would always wonder back to you.

But just hearing your name, your voice, seeing your face, seeing your smiling face, makes me stuck to you.

It made me hate it. Made me hate you.

Why?

I have been doing my best to remove you out of my system but why?

Why am I still suffering?

I already gave you up. I already deleted all of our memories together. But why? Why is my heart still searching for you?

It has been a year since we broke up.

It has been a year and your group's popularity rose up.

It has been a year and you are still with her.

It has been a year and I am still hurting.

If I could give an award to myself it would be Best in Being Stupid, and my speech would be "Unfortunately, this award has been given to me since I still can't get over my first love and first heart break. I still update myself with his schedule. And yes, I am still hung up on him. That is why I thank you for giving this award to me for throwing it on my face that I still love the person who left me."

Hearing your name does not really hurt me that much anymore.

I improved myself, since most of the time you are in U.S. because you are now the top idol group in the world, I haven't been able to see you face.

We became busy because of "Bad Boy" and that reminded me of you but I still kept you hidden away from my mind and heart.

But I forgot, the world is unfair to me.

December 20, it was already past midnight when I finished my own schedule, manager oppa was driving, I am on my phone listening to a music. When our car was suddenly hit by a truck.

It happened so fast that I did not know what to do, all I can remember is shouting before I hit my head so hard that I lost consciousness.

It was too quiet, too quiet on my own liking.

It was too cold.

It was too dark.

"-gi!" Somebody's calling for my name, "Seulgi!"

I want to speak but there's no voice coming out. I tried moving my hands but to no avail I can't. I'm scared. What is going to happen to me? Will I be alright? I can not feel anything. I can not do anything. It is too dark and cold.

Wendy

"Is Seulgi back already?" Irene-unnie asked, she just came back from another schedule.

"Not yet unnie."

"Really? That's odd. She should be here already since my schedule is finished an hour after hers."

That's right, Seulgi should have been already here. She sent me a message that she is already going back an hour ago.

Then Irene-unnie's phone rang. "Hello? Yes oppa?" Then she froze and looked so stricken with fear, "Wh-which hospital? I-is she okay? Unnie!" She snatched her padded jacket and then she grabbed my hands and ran going out of the apartment while she is on the phone. "Unnie, we will be going there right now!" Irene-unnie who is usually strong was crying in front of me. As we rode the taxi we went to a hospital and Irene-unnie told me everything. We were nervous and scared of Seulgi, as we arrived the hospital we immediately looked for our manager unnie.

"Unnie! How's Seulgi? Did the doctor say anything?" Irene-unnie who is usually collected is now panicking.

We were in front of the emergency room, while waiting for the doctor to save Seulgi, Seulgi's parents arrived. We were all praying that she would be safe.

Then the doctor went out of the emergency room.

"How is my daughter doctor?" Seulgi's Mom was crying while asking the doctor, "We saved her on time," he paused as if there is a contradicting words waiting to be spilled, "However, apparently she received too much pressure within her skull that caused a damage to her nerves, unfortunately it was her optic nerve that has been damaged." All of us was nervous we did not understand what he was talking about, "W-what do you mean?" Seulgi's mom inquired quietly hoping that it was not a serious damage, the doctor took a deep breath "Ma'am, Seulgi-ssi's eye sight has been permanently damaged." We were at loss on what to say, "That can't be! Doctor! Please tell me there isa cure to that right?" Seulgi's mom was crying, "She cannot be blind!" We stopped her on jolding the doctor as she collapsed and kept on crying, all of us started to cry knowing what this means. "I'm very sorry Mrs. Kang." The doctor said and went ahead.

While watching over Seulgi in a private room, all of us are distraught by the accident. Even our manager oppa was injured but not greatly like Seulgi.

Joy and Yeri also went here to check on her but immediately left because there too many people here already. Since, Seulgi's parents are here we have also decided to go back to the dorm.

"I never thought that it would happen suddenly. And, the reporters knew about it so fast." Irene-unnie said while we are in the living room, since there were reporters waiting outside the vicinity we went out of the hospital through their other exit.

"Really, reporters knew about it like they are just there watching." When we turned on the TV the whole channels are already broadcasting about Seulgi's accident.

"SMent, haven't given yet a statement, but I really don't know how Seulgi would take this. This would be a great loss in our group." Irene-unnie said.

We returned to our own room and showered a bit and rested, so that later we will be visiting Seulgi.

After sleeping for 5 hours the four of us went back to the hospital and just checked on Seulgi, we arrived at a good timing since Seulgi's parents should rest so we have decided to stay and keep on watching Seulgi's condition. She is not yet conscious so seeing her in this state makes our heart sink but we need to be strong for Seulgi. There was a knock on the door so Joy opened the door, "What are you guys doing here?" Joy said in a serious tone, so we looked at the person who Joy is talking to. "We are here to visit Seulgi-ssi." It was V, Jimin, Jungkook, Namjoon and Suga, they are all wearing a cap and a mask to hide their face. "Does your leader and entertainment know you are here?" Joy continued on interrogating them, sigh, sometimes she acts like a scary step-mom. All of them kept quiet and did not answer Joy's question, Irene-unnie decided to intervene before people would recognize them, "Sigh, it's fine Sooyoungie. Let them in." Since Irene-unnie is our leader and older Joy had no other choice bur to let them in. But before they could breath lightly Irene-unnie scolded them, "We are all friends here, yes, but then, if you are going to visit our Seulgi," ohhh, emphasizing our, yep, unnie is still angry to Jimin-ssi. "You need to ask for a permission from your company and manager. Your group, no, in fact, all of you are a big star, so coming here without taking any precautions can make your whole fandom get angry and can cause a dispute between our fans, you should think before coming here. Its not that I am prohibiting you from visiting our Seulgi, but just make sure you are all taking a precaution." After unnie said those words they seem guilty for not talking to their company, "We are sorry for the sudden intrusion, Irene-ssi, next time we will make sure to contact our director so that it could not be messy. Oh, and our manager actually knows about this." Suga said, and handed a flower and fruits for Seulgi, "We actually wanted to check on Seulgi, since she also became close to us." V immediately said. While Jimin is just staring at Seulgi looking grim.

Irene-unnie took the flower and fruits for Seulgi and settled it on the table, since the room is quite large it was enough for us. It was actually a awkward situation. We are all quiet and the only one who is talking is Yerim and Jungkook. But they do not really talk that loud, Irene unnie went near me and whispered, "They should not know about Seulgi's blindness." I just agreed, because if they knew they would be coming here everyday and it could cause a ruckus if their fans knew about it, and we were instructed by our manager unnie not to tell it to anyone before SM gives a statement. While, V was staring at Seulgi and looked sad the same with Jimin. Namjoon's phone rang and when he answered it, it was time they go. "Let's go. They are already looking for us." Namjoon said to the other boys, Namjoon looked at us and they bowed, "Thank you for letting us visit Seulgi, we will be going now." Namjoon said that and they took off.

"Sigh. Friends or not it was still an awkward atmosphere." Yeri said when they went out already.

"I know right." Joy second emotioned with Yeri.

"I was actually surprised that he came with them." Irene-unnie said, when Seulgi and Jimin broke up it was never the same anymore. The atmosphere before was light and cheerful but it has now taken a grim and sour mood everytime our group collides. It was as if the thing that connected our group together with BTS was the relationship of Seulgi and Jimin. "But right now, I think we should let go of that beef for now, for Seulgi." I just said and they agreed with a silence.

While scrolling on my phone SMent already gave their statement, it said that:

Hello, this is SM Entertainment giving a statement regarding the accident of Seulgi, member of Red Velvet, and her manager.

We will be assuring you that Seulgi is now of in the safe side and is now currently resting, she will also be taking a rest due to the injury she received due to the accident with her manager, onve she has been discharged from the hospita. We are also confirming that we will be filing charges to the truvk driver who was also involved and cause of the accident our artist suffered from. As a rightful human being it is unjust and untimely for us not to take any actions since it has been a serious car accident.

We will be updating you regarding our artist's health once she has been diagnosed and given a treatment in the hospital.

Once again, this is SM Entertainment. We will be updating you in regard to this issue, thank you.

So they did not disclose the information that Seulgi is now permanently blind.

Seulgi

I can smell the scent of medicine, am I in the hospital? I tried moving my hands and opening my eyes. I succeeded in moving my hands is there on my eye? I can not open it. "Seulgi?" I heard my mom's voice, and I felt somebody touch my hands as well, "Eomma? W-where am I? Why can't I open my eyes?" "Wait here our Princess we will be calling the doctor." I felt the hand let go of me and I heard a shuffling of a door being opened. A minute passed and I felt somebody remove a cloth on my head and eye. "Seulgi-ssi, can you try opening your eyes?" The doctor told me, when I opened my eyes I was distraught. "D-doctor? I can't see anything." Panick was already creeping up my spine. "Seulgi-ah, please do not get angry or lose hope, okay?" "Why mom? I-is there something wrong?" A lot of things are now running in my head, worst case scenarios passed in my head before I get to hear what the doctor would tell me. "Seulgi-ssi, since the accident you received a head injury that caused your optic nerve to be damaged, in simpler term, it resulted in your blindness." I could hear him saying those things but nothing could get through my mind after telling me that I am blind. "I, uhm, it is temporarily right...?" Was all I could say, when there is no answer given it got through me. Ahh. I am blind for the rest of my life.

With no words coming out of my mouth I just stayed quiet not telling them what to say. I internally swallowed all of the information given to me. The doctor was suggesting things on how can I get used to it but I did not listen to him, everything was a blur.

Weeks have passed but I still cannot digest everything. My blindness have been already spilled by SM to the media, and right now my future turned into a different way, I was dreaming just last month on how I can improve my dancing and singing skills, last month I was dreaming of going around the world with Joy, Irene-unnie, Wendy and Yerimie. But now... Everything seems so bleak, what can I do? Just accept the reality that I will not be able to perform anymore with them.

I already packed my things to be shipped back to my hometown, and after this we will be meeting our fans, this will be the last and final stage in my life. The last day I can spend with them and the last day that I can be a Red Velvet member.

As we arrived the venue I can hear the fans' scream and cheers.

I sang BTOB's Beautiful Pain as it talked about breaking up. I listened to this song everytime, and this time I am singing this for the fans, everybody cried. I also cried as I reached the last note. Everything flashed to me. Every moment that happened flashed back to me, the moment I met him, I debut in Red Velvet, we performed, we were loved by our sunbaenim in SM, we were cheered on by our fans when there were bad things that is being thrown at us, when we broke up, when the only that made me happy and stand up again are my fans and members. But right now everything has to stop.

I guess I got very unlucky because I did something bad in my past. I took a deep breath and gave my speech.

Everything that I did was a blur. I don't know but why is it always me who is punished?

Everything that happened is painful to be remembered.

Everything was falling apart ever since.

Everything even me was a failure.

The end.

I don't know I just ended it there. Sorry for the bad story line.

#seulmin #angst #Seulgi #Jimin #HatersGonnaHateDontCare

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