#so now this whole discord server is covered in the bad and i cant talk there anymore'

[sp1resong]

people act like 'strong moral code' is a 'positive'/beneficial autistic trait when basically all mine does is make me care way too much about online discourse and afraid to befriend people who disagree with me even a little bit about things that dont matter whatsoever

[slithredn]

what's wrong with blood of zeus?

ok im bad at words n expressing myself but: (blood of zeus spoilers)

first im linking you to this post that has a few opinions i share in a far shorter post.

The animation is not good. Nor is the character design. Three different women characters have almost the same face, and they aren’t just background characters w no relevance to the story whatsoever. If you try and look at this show w some accuracy goggles it will hurt (but i understand that a lot of people don’t care and just want some sweet sweet plots).

Now, you know how mentioned three women characters have the same face? Its not just when  it comes to design that the show did the female characters dirty.

(Heron is the mc) Heron’s mom, Electra (which we only learn the name of after she dies, and was called “woman 1″ once or twice in the subtitles), whole character resolves around her children, and her relationship w Zeus. She dies  only to further Heron’s and Seraphim’s story. Just like other two female characters exist purely for part of Seraphim’s backstory.

Now, if we move up to the gods part of the show, Hera is the only goddess that speaks. Yes, other goddesses do show up once or twice, but none of them say A Word. (Unlike the gods who get a lot more speaking done). You really want to tell me none of them would have a word in this whole affair which, in the end, threatened all of them? Really?

Also, once again, guess what Hera is? An angry jealous wife. That’s it. Her love for Zeus and him reciprocating the feeling is shown a little in the first episode and a little in the last one, where he sacrifices himself for her, after having fought w her. But apart from that, that’s her character. Some people have seen her as a strong female character but what i see is someone whose whole character revolves around her husband. And at the end she is at the mercy of zeus too! we love to see it.

The one maybe reedemable female character is Alexia. But i did not pay attention enough to her to tell you what that girl is about. If they do make a second season tho, and proceed to make her a love interest, i will get up and strangle whoever had the idea.

It bothers me that they pulled demons into greek mythology. even if its just the name. Daemons are a thing yes, but from i understood, a very different thing from corrupted men who ate the flesh of giants. Also who decided to name a demon Seraphim??????

Heron isn’t a really likeable main character to me. I cared for none of these characters. Which made me maniacally cackle when Seraphim was exposed to his backstory by Hera.

The animation is underwhelming, the expressions are awkward and the gore scenes are not good to watch in any way. i don’t mean “incredibly gory it makes you uncomfortable” i mean its boring.

ALso Zeus bleeds red blood. *points at him and laughs* you call yourself a god??? with that whimp ass red blood??

Also the set up for a second season is plain dumb. They really be making a check list “what are the default bad guys in greek mythology media?” and checked both hera n hades off huh.

This is was an incredibly badly explained opinion brought to you by me (it derailed towards the end ngl). i didnt even cover zeus character’s bullshit. theres more shit but i don’t know how to properly word it so if i find a way ill add it.

Anways, i know i said Do Not Watch It but i dont care if you do. I personally didnt enjoy it, but ive seen a lot of people praising it as a really good animation (and people thirsting over ares which i dont understand. he looks like hed call me a slur at a mcdonalds). So, watch it if you want to see it for yourself. The show is average at best and a waste of time at worst. It has a few lines that made me laugh (like “cant he keep it in his pants?” directed at the one and only Zeus) but thats it. It was also a bonding moment in a discord server where we all shit talked it so. Fun!

(side note: i watched this in a tv and i have really bad vision, and not a great hearing! so i might have missed some stuff, if you want to complain about that. dont. unless it directly conflicts  w something i said.)

[q-u-a-c-k]

rant that you can just skip over 😂 it's just detailed intrusive thoughts. and I'm continuing to rant about literally everything that goes through my brain so I am here writing this and not acting on thoughts or being stupid.

okay so this is a note from after I have written all that. and basically it's complaining and ranting about everything and hyperfixating on space and science in the end. in the middle I talk about my fears of love 😂 potentially triggering stuff? it's all nonsense you really dont have to read it. it was just to keep myself from doing something I shouldn't. so if you could be triggered by literally anything maybe dont? idk. I cant stop you but it's probably annoying and not interesting. if anyone does read it though let me know if I need to tag it anything.

So my brain has now decided that because there is no way I am sleeping tonight unless it's exhaustion, I get intrusive thoughts. fun! so rn it has been fixated on the fact that because I am closest to the outside. not hall door. that I could easily sneak out. which is very much not good idea, because 1) I dont live in this area, 2) it's still cold as fuck outside at night, 3) I would literally fucking get lost or caught immediately. So yeah :) I dont even know what I would do if I did go and I don't want to because I have an idea of what brain would say and that's a big no. it's especially big no because I'm too comfortable with the idea of it but I'm not allowed to. and I guess now it's kinda good because brain is thinking about how I miss my cat. I just wanna see my baby and be in my safe place with the people I'm actually comfortable with (cat and phone with online friends) like guys he's so fuckung adorable and what if he doesnt know why I'm not there right now. usually he sleeps in my room at night. so what if he's in my room waiting for me and I cant go see him. you're damn right that I'm crying about this. i just want my baby because he is my baby and an indicator of a safe place.

also I am so incredibly fucking uncomfortable. like I cannot sleep because 1) in a place I do not know 2) there are people (family) in the room that I am not comfortable letting my guard down around 3) there's so much noise from snoring (and from one sleep talking) 4) I am on the couch because when we go places I'm always the one who has to and it's a shitty pull out bed couch. it makes way too much noise that I have been in an uncomfortable position for over 3 hours because I dint want to disturb anyone else. and I can very easily feel like of the metal bars under the middle of my back 5) I am very cold. I forgot a blanket and I didnt get one because the room only gave us one extra one (I dont think we're supposed to have an extra person) ad my sister got it even though I'm the one by the outsid,door, window, and air conditioner which wont turn off. I at least have my flannel though to cover my legs 6) my head hurts so bad because it's the kind of headache that hurts to have eyes open, breath, or move around in general 7) my stomach hurts so bad because I had to eat because apparently people get hungry and are supposed to eat along with anxiety from literally all of this 8) I have not gotten to be alone for more than 10 minutes since the middle of Wednesday whereas usually I spend almsot all of my time alone (with cat and phone with online friends) in my safe place. 9) I have not stopped crying (not really like crying crying but like there has been tears or water from my eyes because for some reason they burn and some because of anxiety or missing cat. 10) I keep thinking that at any moment I close my eyes someone is going to break into the room or one of my family members are gonna do something (I literally dont know what, that's intrusive thoughts talking but I have previously freaked out because I thought they were gonna aliven't me for no reason) 11) When I'm somewhere I'm not used to I get really bad muscle cramps in my arms and legs and I am not having fun with that.

sorry that was a shit ton of complaining that nobody should have read or give a shit about. so sorry if anyone actually read that?

also Allison, if you actually do read this (istg you really dont have to. like I said this is just my train of thoughts written to prevent me from doing anything. I am not watching wandavision until later today 😂 and I am staying off the discord server I joined becuas of potential spoilers.

anyways continuation of rants and complaints. I really want to put the phone down and attempt to sleep even though I know I'm not gonna be able to and for that reason I have to write here because I do not trust myself with my brain being like this rn. but I wanna put phone down so bad because my eyes hurt and my head hurts from having eyes open.

and I really wanna just get my earbuds out and have controlled noise and potentially fall asleep but that would take noise louder than them to drown them out but any noise already is hurting my head and earbuds sound really uncomfortable right now.

also I'm starting to get really cold again because the flannel was working for a little but I think that was because I had to move a little bit to get it out and on my legs and I haven't been moving.

also my sister (sleep.talker) has been just making noises and mumbling all night except just now she went "eww" and rolled over and continued snoring and sleeping. so that's fun. totally didnt scare me.

oh my God it's fuckung almost 3:30 I just wanna sleep. at this rate I dont care in what way it happens, but I want sleep in the next 10 minutes so I cannot be aware of how uncomfortable or in pain I am.

my back (which usually already has back pain) connot stand to lay on the bar in this position anymore so I have to move but it's so loud and I dont wanna wake anyone up or move into a worse position but feel bad for moving.

I have now moved and I dont THINK I woken anyone up. back is better but head hurts so much more now because of movement and I am now laying on my knee which I have a lot of problems with and am not having a fun time.

idk what to talk about. I want sleep or to at least put phone down but like I said multiple times I do not trust my brain rn so I have to keep writing stuff. and I dont want to just keep complaining but idk what to talk about and complaining is easiest rn because I was out in an uncomfortable situation by coming with them and I didnt want to in the first place but would not be able to stay home.

I am now gonna talk about sleep and my thoughts about it. I like being asleep but I also dont. I like being not awake but most of the time do not like the dreams I have. but sleep itself is such an interesting concept. like the body forces itself to shut down and put you unconscious to like rest itself or repair before continuing to function. and it's like (supposed to be) on a specific or close to schedule. like youre supoosed to have a schedule for when you're unconscious. and this is completely normal. a part of our society is actually shaped around this too? like at certain times around the world it gets all dark and the world goes quiet for a while. idk I just think it's really interesting. maybe it's not idk lmao.

and now brain wants to talk about how and why I am afraid to love. :). brain is afraid to love because that means I have to be vulnerable to someone and that's just so terrifying to do, especially being someone who is different than a lot of the heteronormative society. like I absolutely love my friends. and once I'm comfortable around them, I'm gonna tell them that I love them as much as I can (but also dont want to make them uncomfortable). because if I finally feel comfortable enough around you to be vulnerable and accept that I love you despite brain's overwhelming urge to say I don't and be invulnerable and safe, I'm gonna tell you that as much as I can that I love you. because it literally happens so little in my life that I actually really trust someone. so if I tell you I love you I mean it (and it tells you I trust you). like seriously, I barely even say it to my mom because I'm so on guard and trying to watch my back around her. and I dont think I say it to the rest of my family. unless it's my grandparents I'm gonna tell them that because I think I do just in a different way of your my grandparent and you're family. and I occasionally say it to my irl best friend because there's still a lot I'm on guard about because I haven't told her a lot of things so we're not as close as you'd think. but if you're reading this I have probably told you i love you. and i know Allison i tell you as much as i can because I think yyou'rethe absolute top person that I trust and love, so i try to tell you a lot. because I love you!! you're like my entire found family 😂

but now we're gonna talk about reasons why I'm terrified to be in love romantically. Because I dont think i have actually liked someone romantically or really ever be romantically interested in anyone. I have thought about it because I felt like I had to tell myself I was ( I was not). like i thought I had a crush on someone once but I think it was because I was unable to be their friend at the time that I wanted to be their friend even more. and because I never really got to pick my friends I didnt know what it was like to actually want to be friends with someone. but thinking about someone romantically I just cant really do. because I don't want to get into a romantic relationship if I don't know if I'm gonna like them romantically at all. do people like people romantically when they first go out with someone? or do they just say I kinda like this person let's try it out? because that just doesnt make sense to me and idk. and it could very well be that I'm just to young to know yet. because I still dont even know what I would want from a romantic relationship. like... Idk what there is for me to want or what's different to loving your friends besides calling them something else? and the whole having to trust that this person likes you in a specific way that you might like them before you take it far enough and get hurt because they just don't feel the same? or you're the one that's not really sure and potentially hurt someone else? I know people say it's just a risk you're gonna have to take but I dont want to take a risk like that. I dont mind being hurt from it myself but in terrified at the thought that I could potentially hurt someone because I just dint feel a certain way. and I still dont know what the difference is between friend love or romantic love to be able to judge or risk that? like seriously what is different? because I mean, maybe affection like have someone to hug or cuddle? but you could do that with friends and it should be a normal thing to have with your friends. but ig this still is a fucked up society that thinks everything has to be more than what it really is. and it just leaves people touch starved because of it. idk. maybe one day I'll figure it out, but how it's just Greek and foreign to me. idfk.

well that was fun. now it's 4 and I need something else to talk about because even if I do potentially fall alseep soon, I do not want those to be my last thoughts and possibly have dream about it (dreams for me are typically not good).

I think I see the moon. it's either a moon or a parking lot light. and I know the moon is either full or very close to full (I'm pretty sure it's just very. close) but I wish all of those lights outside were off and possibly have a new moon so I could see the stars. I love the stars so much. i love the moon, too, but right now it's very bright. but I wish I was more into astronomy and knew more about it. because that's also something that's very interesting to me is space and the stars. I wanna be someone who knows about all of the constellations. but I have a horrible memory and absolutely would not be able to remember 88 different stories. although I'd want to. even though most of them or a bunch are just Zeus being a dick. but more to the science side of the stars is so interesting to me that they're soooooo far away. like they're literally incomprehensibly far away. like I cannot comprehend how big a football field is without see one, I'm agine being able to comprehend the distance of light years? like I know we know how far it is but I'm pretty sure human minds cannot comprehend how far that ACTUALLY is. even if we know it's a LOT. and isnt it cool how we're able to know there are other planets outside of the solar system? I believe it's 4 different planets that we know of that are MORE inhabitable than earth. like better to live on. and they have either older or stronger stars that wouldn't die out as fast as our sun. although there comes the debate of if we should be able to go to them. it's a very debatable question, but I think overall the answer would be no. because humans have fucked up an entire planet, why should we be allowed to do it to another? like it realize it's literally a percent of humans that fucked it up for the rest of the planet, but humans have an inner need to have power over everyone else and other things and would stop at nothing to get what they want. humans could so easily become corrupt and destroy other planets too. it's kind of a fucked up thing to say, but I feel like maybe humans should die out with our planet. like of course it's not fair to the ones who haven't had the chance to live a life yet. but it was never fair to the other creatures humans killed for their own needs. like we have caused extinction several times. karma will get you back in the end ig. and it would be cool to know but obviously we wouldnt be able to know, if a species even smarter than humans evolved and kept the peace on earth, even as the ruling species? ruling sounds wrong but idk what else to call it. whatever we are above everything else is what they would be. but it would be so amazing to know what smarter beings are alive or could eventually live. like that's so fucking cool.

anyways I should probably try to sleep or put phone down because now brian doesnt have time to let me do anything I shouldnt. it's 4:30 😂 someone is probably gonna wake up soon because idk.

[k-mraz]

Answer 21 Questions

Tagged By: @curejune omg

Name: *inhales* IM MRAZ HELLO

Nickname: well i have plenty of nicknames but most of them are like marz hraz marzipan or my names from vk page like Kirya or Lyokha or Malev

Gender: agender, thx for asking!

Zodiac: Cancer (just like my memes and hc)

Height: 166cm or 5′4 if google doesnt lie to me

Time: 4pm!

Favorite Musician: HMM i study music in college so A LOT. Like, i love bach, jolivet, ravel, messiaen, prokofiev, leclair, handel, purcell, debussy. man its literally baroque and XX century only... OH ALSO I LOVE SONGS OF MY MOM and lots of other guys!!! left boy, egor letov, MSI and jimmy urine (his euringer album is awesome), uncle outrage, nick drake, sufjan stevens, oh wonder, beck, NF, lil peep, twenty one pilots, ok go, IAMX (i even was on their live show!!) and lots and lots and lots

Song Stuck in my Head:  The Medicine Does Not Control Me by Euringer feat. Grimes 

Last Movie I Saw: RALPH BREAKS INTERNET AND ITS SO AWESOME 76319286/10 im in love, i was literally crying because graphics and everything is so beautiful

Last Thing I Googled: ralph movie english name because i wasnt sure lol

Other Blogs: @pinkymraz but its dead now

Do I get Asks: yeah, i got some after i joined dom’s discord server!! and after i published hawks and midoriya strip

Why Did I Choose This Nickname: because im dumb and thought that kinkymraz looks funny

Following: i follow lots of blogs but they are mostly artists i like and my friends!! 

Amount of sleep: from 2hrs to 24hrs. i was shocked when i slept for a whole day and woke up and was like ??/???? whats going on??/?/?/ usually its like 3-6 hours tho because i have insomnia problems for years

Lucky Number: 4, 13....... hi egbert

What am I wearing: rn - black leggins, different socks, one of them is white, other is with owl print, gray comfy t-shirt and hoodie

My Dream Job: something art or music related or some simple work like barista idk, id like to make coffee for people and make their day a little better with it and small talks if they need one

Dream Trip: europe tour like i want to visit every europian country because im in love with architecture and art, north america tour, id like visit any place i could actually, i really liketrips

Favorite Food: everything with avocado, burgers, vegetables, fish, sweets without fruits or berries ot honey, i love garlic, coffee and tea, sushi are noice, pizza............ its like styles and art and music i love, i like lots of really differents things and its easier to name things i dont like lol

Instruments Played: im proffessional flute player duh, also i have piano exam this year so i guess i play piano too (bad), i play ukulele and sing haha, play recorder and hand ocarina!!! i know how to play a few chords on guitar

Favorite songs: jan lundgren - apres un reve!! its piano cover tho and the author of song is Faure but whatever. also left boy - get it right, kid, rose garden baroque version, dance with the devil, MSI - jack you up, remember me from Coco, all we do by oh wonder, LOTS GUYS I CANT REMEMBER ALL OF THEM

Tagging: (no obligation disclaimer yeah) @ankyrea @hartley-tf @coralasthma @coffee-lynx @coldandhotsoba @soybean-official hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm