#so now on top of that I'm anxious. i feel like I'm unlovable and irritating and am driving people away
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forgot that migraine postdrome can make me so fucking sad. worst feature my body ever installed.
#real depresso hours tbh#excedrin didn't work today and the sunlight in my house was Extremely inconsistent#I'm talking 'full sun to fully cloudy back to fully sunny 3 times a minute for 4 hours'#flashbanged by the heavenly bodies while my meds Don't Work.#so. i cried from pain and frustration in the middle of my kitchen floor and then laid there catatonic for 90 minutes bc moving hurt#and now I'm not in pain but I'm exhausted#and deeply insecure about everything that i do#so now on top of that I'm anxious. i feel like I'm unlovable and irritating and am driving people away#and that no matter how hard i try i'll always be Too Much.#like I'm online craving the validation of strangers. and. i know i shouldn't. i know my tastes aren't always conventional.#i thought i'd be over it but i'm not.#i'm just big sad today. i'm tired of being in pain#i'm tired of feeling like nothing i ever do is enough or nothing i do is good. or that it's repulsive somehow.#i'm just. tired. and the postdrome is making me more miserable so it's just compounding all the negative stuff i've been wading through#recently. idk. i'm rambling and novody asked i'm just sad today and needed to bitch about it.
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