#so now i'm sitting in bed not having accomplished anything eating my shitty lunch/dinner hoping this will all be worth it in the end
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we love spending the entire day trying to prepare for something just for everything in the day to go wrong that you end up not doing the one thing you spent all your energy on today preparing for
#i woke up early and did my hair i bought clothes beforehand bc i didn't have any professional ones i ironed my fucking clothes#i printed resumes i came up with this whole stupid plan to fit all of my stuff into this tiny bag so i could go to class and then change in#the bathroom into the professional clothes later it took me like half an hour just the figure out how to pack the bag so everything fit#i spent half of my first class researching companies and writing scripts so what to say so i could try to make a good impression#i feel like i bent myself fucking backwards to try to make this work and in the end#i burned my leg by hot soup i cried for an hour i forgot to actually eat lunch i went to buy some because i didn't have energy to make any#the fucking train got in my way on the way to pick up my food and i got every traffic light possible so i didn't make it home until 5:30#and at that point i had come up with a new plan to get to the stupid fucking career fair but by the time i got home i realized.#it ends at 6. they start packing up about a half hour before. everyone i saw outside was leaving not going there. i was too fucking late#so now i'm sitting in bed not having accomplished anything eating my shitty lunch/dinner hoping this will all be worth it in the end#like i swear to god if i end up graduating college unemployed i might actually kill myself. i've worked too fucking hard to be a failure#shut up hanna
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