#so my 2am brain didn't catch anything at least

[mercurys-messenger]

Insomnia

Awake again at 2am.

The time ticks by as all that goes through my head is "If I fall asleep right this second I'll get 4 hours of sleep before I have to get up for work" but I know I won't.

I never could fall asleep easy. I didn't even know that some people just go right to sleep after maybe five minutes until I slept next to someone for the first time. You don't sit awake for an hour and a half or so before falling asleep? Weird.

I miss sleeping next to someone. Even if it doesn't afford me the distractions I usually need to grasp at even the few hours I do get, it's nice to listen to someone breathe. The rythmic autonomous processes a clockwork meditation that seems to steady me as long as I don't think too hard. Or maybe it's just that I'm happy someone wants to sleep next to me. Either way.

But alone, alone I cling to distractions so that my thoughts don't carry me off into the sky, whirling uncontrollably grasping for anything to grab onto. Usually I just slam into an unrelenting obelisk of worthlessness, carved with symbols of my own design. Burden. Unworthy. Mediocre. Shell. Puppet. Nothing.

So I'd rather distract myself. Slide into a show I've seen a million times, something familiar and entertaining so that I can hypnotize myself into some form of rest.

But it doesn't always work, the method changes little by little, each piece losing effectiveness over time. So I shift and grasp at sleep, desperate for any scraps I can get.

I've found that anything is better than nothing. Even 1 hour is better than nothing, not enough to satiate my tired brain but enough to keep me moving at least. So that's the best I do most nights, survive and keep myself moving. Im so tired of just survival being all I can manage.

And then I sleep in on days off to try and catch up and before I know it, it's back to work. Back to scrounging for scraps of sleep. Another week slipped out without me doing anything with it, spent merely surviving.

But I shouldn't think about that, I'll spiral and after all I should try and sleep.

Awake again at 3am.

The time ticks away again and all I can think is "if I fall asleep at this very moment I'll get 3 hours of sleep before I have to wake up for work." But I know I won't.

[lovelytarou]

late night rendezvous

— in which suna rintarou invites you to a late night drive

pairing: suna rintarou x reader

genre: fluff, a lil angst

tags: suna waking you up at midnight to drive, late night driving basically, just you two being goofballs at midnight

a/n: i based this from the suna drabble i wrote a while back and it keeps nagging on my brain to write it. was actually gonna post it for his birthday but it's already the 26th at 2am here ://

suna didn't expect his party to be wild this year. granted, he should have expected the twins planning one without his knowing. leave it up to them to cause mischief and be the biggest party people he has ever known.

it was crazy, to say the least. he had recognized a few people who were in the party – his teammates, classmates, schoolmates, even past relationships and acquaintances he most certainly isn't aware the twins invited. he even spotted a few volleyball opponents they fought before and wished him a happy birthday.

he was surrounded by all of this people but his mind is looking for another person.

the twins couldn't have forgotten about you, could they? you're just as close to them as he is.

“what’s up, sunarin?” atsumu patted him on the back rather harshly, making him stumble a few steps forward.

he swear to the gods, his strength can be abnormal sometimes.

“have you seen y/n by any chance?” he asked, neck craning to and fro like a giraffe, “you invited them, right?”

“about that...” atsumu winced at suna’s harsh glare.

“we sort of...forgot?”

suna gave him a deadpan look.

“really? of all people, you forgot about them?” atsumu could only whine in return as he profusely apologized to the birthday boy.

deciding to ditch the party, he got out of the crowded house brimming with music and alcohol and got inside his car. he fished his phone from his pocket and immediately messaged you.

what he didn't realize was that it was basically 2am in the morning, and it's a weekday. you're probably asleep by now, suna thought. but will that ever stop him? nope.

cursing under his breath, he pocketed his phone and drove away.

the series of knocks stirred you from your peaceful slumber. after doing a shit ton of tasks, you immediately headed straight to bed, completely forgetting about giving your gift to your boyfriend – who forgot to invite you for his party. you slept with a slight ache in your chest upon seeing the posts the twins have on their socials and can't help but feel a little jealous.

the knocks ranged from gentle to hurried bangs on your window. huffing through your nose in irritation, you rolled over to the other side and peeked an eye. you almost had a heart attack when you saw who was looking through the glass.

“for fuck's sake, rin, you scared the shit out of me! some of us need to sleep for 8-10 hours, you know,” you scolded him, keeping your voice down as to not wake the people in your house, a bewildered look in your face as you take him in.

he's dressed handsomely and you guessed the twins forced him to because he doesn't really like to put much effort into his clothes, but he looks great in them always.

“i missed you,” he blurted, eyes searching your sleep-laced ones as he reached for your hand.

“we didn't see each other all day, i figured we can catch up now?” he offered, biting on his lower lip. he knows you might say no considering how late it is but he was also hoping you would say yes.

he wanted to end his day with a memorable moment with you.

“at 2 in the morning, rintarou?” you gave him an exasperated look but the thump in your heart and the voice inside your head convincing you that you've got nothing to lose is louder than any logical reasoning right now.

“alright, i'll get ready in five minutes.” you pecked him on the cheek, pushing his chest slightly as suna mouthed a yes before climbing off your window.

honestly, you don't know how he does that.

you sneaked to your door after getting ready and made sure you locked it again before joining suna in his car.

once you sat down on the passenger's seat, suna did not hesitate to capture your lips with his. the kiss seemed to stretched on for hours, his lips tasting like the alcohol he consumed in the party and faint smell of smoke. you giggled against his lips before pulling away.

“go eat some mint, your breath stinks!” you teased, nose wrinkling in mock disgust.

suna rolled his eyes, “says the one who has morning breath,”

the insulted look in your face made him cackle loudly inside the car as he pulled out of the driveway, his hand supporting your seat behind your head.

you fumbled with your seatbelt for a moment and suna seemed to have noticed it as his hands replaced yours and slid it down gently with a click. his hair tickled your neck as his face was so close to you, you can smell his perfume and him.

“if you keep looking at me that, we won't be going anywhere, baby.” he smirked, catching your eyes staring at his exposed chest that's been revealed by his shirt.

gulping down your saliva, you just smacked his arm in retaliation, earning another laugh from your boyfriend.

“just shut up and drive, rintarou.”

and so he did. suna connected his phone to his car and turned up the music. your eyes widened in realization as you recognized the song, or specifically the playlist. it was something the two of you made one boring afternoon. you were just playing around and adding iconic songs and some underrated ones to a playlist named after the two of you. you didn't know he would keep it and play it now.

suna had a faint smile on his face once the first few notes of the song played. he hummed to the music, fingers drumming on the stirring wheel. you yourself is tapping yours on your lap, but later, suna interlaced his free hand with yours and squeezing it lightly.

you enjoyed this moment more than anything. maybe it's because you just woke up and it's literally in the early morning and suna dragged you out of bed and you're still a little drowsy, but this all feels like a dream. something you don't wanna wake up from. it might be the city lights cascading down the road, the empty streets you passed, or the fact that the world is most likely asleep at the moment and getting to share it with him of all people is truly something magical.

as you were crossing a bridge, you felt the urge to turn down the window on your side, letting the wind hit your face as you closed your eyes. you danced to the music, albeit stupidly, but you didn't care. you sang loudly to your heart's content but you might be singing the words wrong, yet in suna's eyes, as you scream into the night, with your hair being ruffled by the wind and the city lights flickering behind you – he can't help the laugh bubbling out of him, because god, how did he get so lucky to have you?

you urged him to dance with you to the song and he did so although you made fun of him and his robotic moves. you spent the whole ride just singing and goofing off in the night.

after a while, you guys stopped at a restaurant to get some food before going home. by the time suna drove to your house, it was almost 6am. he forgot he still had practice later, but when he's with you, you're the only thing that mattered to him.

in the end, suna ended up showing you how he was able to climb up your window and even tagged you along with it. you almost fell and broke a leg but good thing your troublemaker of a boyfriend was there.

“so, i guess this is goodnight?” suna sighed forlornly as he sat at your windowsill.

“more like good morning to me,” you chuckled, staring down at your linked hands that are both refusing to let go. “i had fun tonight, rin –oh wait! i almost forgot!”

he was left confused when you suddenly ran around your room looking for something until you emerged with a small neatly wrapped box in your hands.

“for me? y/n, you really didn't have to,” he scratched his neck as he stared at the gift.

“just open it, rin!”

you bounced in place as you watch his face closely while opening the gift.

“is this real? how did you–” he got the camera out of the box, you had gifted him a polaroid since you saw how he loves to ‘document’ things so much and you figured he might want to make a lot of memories, hopefully with you in them as well.

“y/n, i love it. i love you,” he then wrapped you in his arms, his chest feeling warm and fuzzy with overwhelming love for you.

“i love you too, and i'm glad you did or else all the money i've saved up for will be useless.” you teased, smiling fondly at him as he examined the polaroid camera.

“this is the best birthday ever,” he leaned for a kiss, tilting his head to deepen it. you soon have to pull yourselves away before it got any late.

“now go home, rin!” you practically shoved him out of your window, he went in for one last kiss before hopping off.

he walked towards his car but before he get inside he looked back to you.

“i'll take to you to lunch later!”

you rolled your eyes, knowing full well suna's going to be sleeping in til the afternoon.

[rentsturner]

Dare | Obi-Wan Kenobi

Request: okay! could i request where you and obi wan kiss for the first time as padawans? // @laorme34

(a/n: I was up till like 2am writing this, so pls excuse any mistakes. It probably doesnt make much sense, oh well, It’s basically just fluff, I hope you like it. not my gif.) 

word count: 1.9k

Coruscant was beautiful at night, there was no denying it. The glowing lights shining from stories upon stories of skyscrapers, the constant buzz of traffic and people. Some may find it unsettling, but you thought the living city was perfect.

You and a few of your fellow padawans had spent the evening relaxing in the Temple gardens, a peaceful oasis amidst the bustling Coruscanti streets below. 

It was Carnival Week, which meant nights filled with fireworks and dancing, colourful acts parading every avenue and boulevard until the sun began to rise over the living, breathing metropolis. But more importantly, for you it meant a week off normal Jedi duties and more time to spend with your friends.

It was a small gathering, but a lively one. The laughter and gossip had flowed easily, a well needed change of pace from your usual hectic lives. But you couldn't help but keep glancing across the circle to look at Obi-Wan Kenobi, the seemingly perfect padawan, excelling in every task his master set for him. He was sprawled lazily across the grass, staying quiet in the conversation, except to occasionally contribute a witty quip. A cheeky grin always followed, basking in the laughter he induced, before settling comfortably into silence once again.

You had known Obi for many years, training with him frequently when your masters worked together. You weren’t entirely sure what it was that drew you to him - that blinding smile that could light up your day in an instant, his endless generosity, kindness that knew no bounds, or his infectious enthusiasm for almost anything. Maybe it was the way he would always check on you after a particularly hard mission, or  maybe the sound of his carefree laughter when you told him a joke. Or maybe it was just that sometimes, when he looked at you, it would feel like the whole world had disappeared and the only thing that truly mattered was that distinct shade of deep blue that coloured his eyes and the way his long auburn lashes framed them so beautifully.

It was safe to say that you were harboring just a little crush for Obi-Wan.

After a few more hours of chatter, the cool night air began to creep in. It wasn't unbearably cold, not to you anyway, as the bulk of your thick cloak stifled the breeze and trapped any welcome warmth. It seemed that the drop in temperature was not to your friends’ tastes, as one by one they began to trickle away, each making their polite excuses before retiring to their warm beds. But you weren't ready to sleep yet.

Now there was only one person left with you in the garden. Obi-wan sat opposite you, seemingly unaffected by the gentle chill that had driven away your peers.His knees were pulled up to his chest, his chin resting there and his arms wrapped tightly around his shins, making himself as small as possible. Maybe it was to conserve heat. He seemed comfortable just to watch you, a faint smile across his face as he took you in. 

You crossed your legs underneath you, one hand fiddling with the petals on the nearest flower, the other tugging on your braid self consciously. It’s not that you were uncomfortable in Obi-Wan’s presence, no. It was more that you were worried. Worried that too much time spent with Obi’s charms and silver tongue would result in your secret slipping out. He was famed for his clever negotiations after all, and it would be so incredibly mortifying for him to discover your little crush.

Best to leave now

But before you could even make your feeble excuse - I have to water my succulent, Obi’s voice cut through the silence.  

“You want to play truth or dare?” 

Looking up at his grinning face, you realised he was deadly serious. You hadn't played truth or dare in years, but you knew that it could easily result in chaos. You could embarrass yourself in front of Obi-Wan or, even worse, your secret could come out. But...you didn't really want to go to bed yet. Whatever happened, you would probably both forget about it in the morning. Maybe it would even be fun.

“Yeah, sure.”

Obi clapped his hands together excitedly and shuffled closer. 

“Okay, you first then. Truth or dare?”

Your first dilemma. Choose truth and possibly reveal some of your deepest secrets? You could always lie, but you had a feeling that Obi would know. He seemed to have an advanced perception of everything.Well, he was on his way to becoming the perfect Jedi after all. No, truth was too much risk.

“Dare.” you tried to sound confident.

Obi chuckled, looking around as if searching for ideas. His gaze stopped suddenly when it reached the largest tree in the garden, an enormous oak stretching up at least two stories. A mischievous glint appeared in his bright eyes. 

“I dare you to climb that tree.”

Your mouth fell open in disbelief. Even with trained agility and balance, climbing the oak would be a tough job. Obi noticed your reluctance.

“Don’t worry, darling. I’ll catch you if you fall.” A whisper in the night, followed by a comforting kiss to your cheek.

Five minutes later, you had dropped back to the ground, the leaf in your hand from the top of the tree a token of your success. 

“Just for you.” You giggled, placing the leaf in Obi’s palm. He wrapped his fingers around it, looking down at it before his gaze once again returned to you. There was fondness in his eyes, along with an emotion you couldn’t quite place. It looked almost like desire...but no, you must have been mistaken. Just fondness. 

“Your turn, Obi. Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.” No hesitation there. He sprawled back down on the grass, waiting patiently for your question. 

Obi-Wan didn’t mind what you asked him, in all honesty. He’d never lie to you. He’d come to terms with the fact that he loved you almost a year ago and was prepared to do anything for you if you asked him to. The love that he felt for you was like a burning ember in his chest, always there, always ready to break free and burn brightly if the moment called. But for the most part, he had to keep it hidden. The Jedi Order wasn't exactly welcoming when it came to forbidden attachments.

Sometimes he thought you were blind, oblivious to his loving gestures. Coming to find you and tuck you into bed after a long mission, travelling to the library late at night to search a book that you desperately needed, using his wit to get you out of trouble with your master whenever you got caught - surely these meant more than being just friends? But Obi had been patient, biding his time. He knew tonight was the night.

Mind racing, you wracked your brain for a good truth. Something lighthearted, but not stupid, interesting, but not too deep. You settled on a relatively tame question.

“Who’s your least favourite Jedi on the council?”

Obi hummed, rubbing his chin and jaw in thought.

“I’m afraid I’ll have to say Master Windu. He accidentally bumped into me in a corridor a few days ago. I split my coffee and I haven't forgiven him yet.”

You burst into laughter at the pettiness of Obi’s answer. His deep chuckle joined your giggling in a pleasant harmony.

“Listen, love, my morning coffee is very important to me, i cannot function without it!”

This only elicited more laughter from you, and the next few minutes were spent lying on the floor, trying to catch your breath. You turned your head to see Obi lying in a similar position, watching you. He was always watching you it seemed, just as you constantly stole glances at him. Obi-Wan was just more confident, upfront. He always had been.

“Truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” The word was barely a whisper, but Obi Wan heard it loud and clear, all his attention on you. He paused for a moment before speaking.

“Kiss me”

Those cerulean eyes never left yours. He was being deadly serious, once again. 

You jerked back, shocked, his two words ringing in your ears. Did he know your secret? Had he read your mind somehow? Maybe he had noticed your gaze catching on his lips, engrossed by the way his tongue would dart out and wet them, how soft they looked in the moonlight and -

No, he couldn't know.

Obi-Wan noticed the panic gripping your features and reached out to your hand slowly, gently taking your palm in his. Maybe he could still convince you. He wanted this so badly and he could just feel that you wanted it too.

“I’m not joking, darling. Please kiss me.”

“I-” 

Words escaped you, only feelings and images tumbling through your mind as you took in the situation. Obi-Wan. Your crush Obi-Wan. Wanted to kiss you. You.

The feeling of his thumb rubbing across your knuckles calmed you slightly and you took a deep breath in. This was it.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have said that -” Obi began to pull away, his cheeks becoming flushed with regret and uncertainty, but you squeezed his hand and shuffled closer, a surge of courage running through your veins.

“No, Obi, I want to kiss you. So badly.”

And you leaned forwards, placing your lips on his gently, resting your free hand on his shoulder. A spark of pleasure ran between you. Obi-Wan gasped at the sudden contact, shuddering slightly before moving to kiss you back. He hummed softly and carded his hand through the hair at the back of your neck, pulling you even closer in.

It was almost like a collision, the pining and tension coming to a head after months, like a water breaking through a dam to flow freely. It was everything.

His heady aroma of sandalwood and cinnamon was intoxicating and you could feel the warmth of his body through the thick layers of wool and cotton. You had a sudden desire to just peel his robes off there and then, but you pushed it back down. That could wait.

Your noses bumped together and you could feel Obi smiling against your mouth.

Maker, his lips were just as soft as they looked.

You pulled away slowly, but kept your forehead pressed against Obi’s, your hand wrapped around the back of his neck, rubbing the skin where his hairline started. His large palms skimmed up and down your sides, pressing into your robes as if he was trying to sink through them and reach your warm skin.

“Finally.” 

Another whisper in the night, except this time it came from Obi. And this time, when your eyes met, it did truly feel like you were drowning in his cerulean orbs, and the world had in fact disappeared. All you could see, smell, feel, was Obi-Wan Kenobi, and that was just how it was meant to be.

Obi Tags: @ohhellokenobi @doublesunsets @snips-n-skyguy0501 @karasong @callmearwen @milleniumvalcon @rosionis @afogocado @stardancerluv @goldenkenobi @fenharel-enaste @corellians-only @weirdfangirl2416 @a-seeker-of-imagination @saintlaurentkenobi @justanotherpadawan (Taglist link in bio)

[jisvnq]

[ 20:25PM ]

title | interruptions

genre | fluff, humor, best friends to lovers but it's what happens after the confession

warnings | none; probably just bad spontaneous writing shdh

word count | 1.5k

requested | by anonymous

description | where jisung knows the moments after his best friend confesses to him that she likes him back aren't supposed to be this awkward, and that just maybe, the third time's the charm ♡

z.txt | idk if i'm happy with this or not lol like it's just a 2am coffee-induced brainfart at it's best have fun reading more brainfarts (the text for the header kinda crapped up but alr sjdhs) watch me post this and dip JSJKSDJ

Jisung let out a deep breath, sneaking a glance at the side of your face as you nervously fiddled with the hem your shirt. He knew you felt the same way as he did, but why was he still so nervous?

"So, uh..." Jisung cleared his throat, breaking the thick silence that fell upon the room. He scooted just a bit closer to you, but you did the same, resulting in your knee bumping his lightly. "Wh- what now?"

Years of watching idiotically romantic movies and binge-watching impossibly unrealistic dramas with you left him with some sort of experience when it came to this love thing, and he just knew that the moments after confessing your love for each other were not supposed to be this awkward.

A thousand thoughts ran through his head. Maybe he did something wrong? Or maybe he said something wrong? What if now wasn't the right time for him to confess? But you had told him you liked him back, so why weren't you doing any—

"W- we could kiss?" you suggested quietly, cheeks warming up at your own suggestion.

"We could wh- what now?" Jisung repeated, feeling as if his ears have fooled him. Did you actually want to kiss him?

"K- kiss," you muttered, looking away from him. "But n- nevermind. I completely understand if you don't want to—"

"But I want to." The words come out of his mouth quicker than his brain could process them, his face slowly growing hot once again.

He clamped his mouth shut when he heard your small giggle, his heart beating at a pace quicker than he had ever thought was humanly possible. Maybe he should take Hyuck's advice and really do think before he speaks...

Your face slowly neared his and he sucked in a breath when he felt yours fan his face. He closed his eyes when your nose touched his and he felt just about ready to faint when your lips lightly brushed against each other—

Then you pulled away. What?

Did he somehow do something wrong this time? No, he doesn't think he did. You initiated it... whatever that was.

Did his breath smell like shit? No, he almost choked on his mouthwash earlier when he heard you knock on his door.

Did he smell like shit? He didn't think so, at least. He took a shower and changed into your favorite hoodie of his as soon as you told him you were coming over. Maybe he should've asked Jaemin to wash the hoodie though...

"Y/n?" he asked concernedly, opening his eyes to see you place a hand over your face. Did he really smell that bad? "Is there anything wrong?"

"I- I just feel like—" you cut yourself off with a sneeze and Jisung jumped a bit. You giggled. "Sneezing. Sorry."

"You scared me," Jisung huffed, heaving out a relieved sigh. "I thought I smelled bad or something there."

"I never said you didn't," you said, biting back a giggle when he makes a face at you. "Kidding! Kidding. You smell like you always do. Like... you."

"And that's a good thing, I hope?" he asked, scrunching his nose at you, finally getting a giggle out of you.

You nodded, scooting closer to him on the couch and giving him a small smile, face right in front of his once again. "Yes. That's a very, very good thing."

"Good," Jisung said, eyes flickering down to your lips. He inhaled and looked back up at your eyes. "So... uh... no more sneezing?"

You shook your head with a chuckle, leaning in even closer to him. "No more sneezing."

He mirrored your smile, closing the gap between you slowly despite his brain screaming at him to hurry up. With you, Jisung had all the time in the world. Besides, it was your first kiss together and it just had to be perfect, right?

Well, not necessarily.

"Well, fucking finally!" someone exclaimed as the door burst open, making you and Jisung fling yourselves to the opposite ends of the couch, cheeks flushing red at the sudden interruption.

"Chenle, you idiot," Renjun sighed as he pushed the younger boy into the hallway.

"Oh, whoops," Chenle grinned sheepishly, catching Jisung's glare. "Sorry."

"Don't mind us~" Jaemin hummed, pushing Haechan and Jeno into the hallway with Chenle and Renjun before any of them could interrupt any more. "We'll be in our rooms if you need us."

An awkward silence once again fell over the room as soon as all the doors closed, both of you refusing to look at each other in the eyes.

Jisung let out a little huff of annoyance and embarrassment. Why hasn't anything gone his way today?

The articulate and carefully worded confession he had prepared for you at least months before today, somehow vanishing as soon as he opened his mouth.

The comfortable atmosphere he had tried his absolute best to set up, disappearing into thin air after you had clumsily voiced out your own feelings for him.

And the perfect first kiss he had originally wanted to give you, left as a passed opportunity as each of your two attempts ended up in unexpected and completely uncalled for interruptions.

He didn't even want to think of anything else that could possibly go wrong.

"Third time's the charm?" you had suggested hopefully, turning your head to look at him.

"A- are you sure you still want to, uh, you know..." Jisung mumbled, looking down at his feet. "Kiss me? Even after everything that's gone wrong?"

You took initiative and slid over to his side of the couch, giving him a soft smile that never failed to melt his heart every single time. "Jisung, I still wanted to kiss you even after you pretty much blew up the whole Chemistry lab in ninth grade."

You chuckled, taking one of his large hands in both of yours. "You smelled like dog piss, your hair was standing up stiff, and you had toxic powder and whatnot all over your face. I don't think anything can top that, and yes, I still want to kiss you, you idiot."

Jisung couldn't help but laugh at the memory, shaking his head when he remembers the disgusted look on your face as you dragged him to the nurse's office, cleaning him up when even the nurse herself didn't dare go near him.

"Even if I'm no good at kissing?" Jisung asked, looking up at you.

"Even if you're no good at kissing," you laughed. "And don't worry, I'm probably just as bad as you are at this stuff. We both aren't single for no reason."

"Maybe we can change that?" Jisung asked, mouth working quicker than his brain once again, his reddening ears making it more obvious. "No, I mean—"

"Actually, I'd like that," you giggled, a wide grin spreading across your face when you see his sheepish smile. "I'd very much like that. So... you're my boyfriend now?"

"I'm your boyfriend now?" Jisung echoed, feeling as if he was in a daze, smile getting way too big as his cheeks began to hurt. Did he just get upgraded from best friend to boyfriend? "That sounds very nice..."

"Yes, yes it does," you said with a chuckle, witnessing the boy's brain turn into complete mush in front of you. "Now... do I get to kiss my boyfriend yet?"

His heart fluttered when you brought your hand up to his jaw, turning his head so he fully faced you. "Maybe, if we don't get interrupted again."

"But if we do get interrupted again?" you hummed, lips against his once again, the awkwardness suddenly gone as you were both filled with giddy excitement from the recent relationship upgrade.

And as if the god of interruptions was listening in on your conversation, just as Jisung opened his mouth to respond, his best friend's timing was impeccable.

"Oops," Chenle snickered, entering the living room once again. "I forgot my airpods—"

And without letting the other boy finish, nor let you shy away from him again, Jisung took a hold of your chin to gently keep you in place as he finally pressed his lips to yours, his brain a few steps late as he let his actions get ahead of himself once more.

"Shit, sorry, Y/n," Jisung apologized with wide eyes and red cheeks, realization of what he's just done hitting him like a brick. "I just— mmf!"

But instead of letting him splutter out an excuse for his spontaneity, you roll your eyes, capturing his lips in another, proper kiss. Until a sneaky little idea popped into your head.

You pushed him further into the couch, making the other boy watching feign retching sounds in the background as the two of you patiently waited until he left, only parting for air when you hear his footsteps finally leave the room.

"You think that'll stop him from interrupting us again?" you asked, giving him a cheeky grin, laughing when you see the dazed smile left on the boy's face.

"I don't know what's kept me from kissing you all these years," Jisung breathed out with a laugh, heart causing ruckus in his ribcage. "But I don't think even Chenle coming in screaming and holding up a bazooka will be able to stop me from kissing you anymore."

[loserkusen]

A Change of Heart

It’s 20-BiTeen bitches!!! In celebration the girl in this fic is bi, like yours truly, cause representation matters and if you don’t like it block me. Anyways the anticipated Julian fic.

Oh yeees 😍 can you write a jealous Julian blurb ?♥️

Based off FACE by BROCKHAMPTON 🧡

Word Count: 2,179

She never though she’ll end up in the same position again. After how hard she had worked to convince herself that love wasn’t for her and that it was okay, she found herself stuck in the same spot as always. Wishing she hadn’t started anything to begin with.

(Y/N) had been seeing Julian for a couple of months now. Due to the amount of men and women that had broken her heart, she hated admitting the feelings he evoked in her. The deep connection they had formed was nothing she had felt before which exited her, but made her fearful of the unknown emotions. So she remained guarded and made their relationship as informal as possible. No titles. No commitments. Simply two people getting along and having casual sex.

What she didn’t expect was for her to be sitting in Julian’s kitchen at 2am debating whether to return to bed with the boy she was falling for or to gather her belongings as quickly as possible and walk away from him like she had done many times before. She always felt horrible after the latter, but it was the only thing she could think of doing whenever she laid wrapped up in his arms wondering how she was going to save herself the heartbreak this time.

The sudden hand on her waist startled her causing her to jump off the kitchen stool. Luckily, the familiar arms held her up saving her the pain and embarrassment of hitting the floor.

"What are you doing up right now?" He held her closer, his feathery hair brushing against her cheek.

"I um- I couldn't sleep" she sat back down turning in the seat to face him. His sleep clouded face and shirtless body stood illuminated by the dim light peaking in through the windows. "I have a headache and was wondering if you had pain killers. I thought they'll be in the kitchen, but I couldn't find them."

"They're in the bathroom angel. You should've asked me."

“I didn’t want to wake you.” Your gaze diverted away from him. Doing anything to avoid his eyes hoping he wouldn't see your watery ones.

"You okay?" He stepped closer, his fingers caressing your cheek as he lifted your chin. Silence followed his words. She wasn't. She was quickly realizing she was far from okay. Falling for someone who seemed too good for her. Unable to accept the possibly that he could be the one exception. Slowly slipping into a state she promised she would never come close to again.

"I'm just tired Julian." He starred into her eyes for a moment before nodding and reaching for her hand. She followed him back to his room, silently getting under the covers as he searched his bathroom cabinet for the pills. Julian returned with a glass of water and a crewneck sweatshirt too.

"You should put this on. Being cold is probably going to make it worse." You pulled on his soft sweater which happened to smell like his favorite cologne. The familiar scent worked to calm you down and soon enough your stress induced headache settled down. Not much later, you felt Julian's grip on your waist tightening. His arm pulling you close to his chest was becoming a routine whenever you slept over. He held on throughout the night up until the morning. Almost as if trying to make you stay forever.

The next morning, Julian was awakened by the sound of your feet shuffling around his room. He took a deep breath not wanting to open his eyes and see you rushing to leave him once again. His sad reality hit him at the feeling of the empty spot next to him on the bed. Hesitantly, he sat up catching your attention from across the room.

"Hey Julian." She looked caught off guard as she stumbled trying to step into her boots as quickly as possible. "I didn't think you'll be up this early." She looked tense. The quiet room heightened her uneasiness as Julian remained quiet simply gazing at her. It took a couple of minutes for Julian to break the dense silence eating away at both of them.

"Do you have to leave?" His voice was faint making her feel worse for trying to leave unnoticed once again. She turned around searching for her bag trying to avoid his stare. The truth was, she did have to leave. She had to leave before she did something she regretted. Running away from him temporarily allowed her to breathe. She felt like one more moment with him would reveal the inescapable fact she had been trying to avoid for months now; she was in love with him. She was afraid her brain would win over her heart and she'll break whatever relationship they had out of fear of being mistreated again. Julian had stood up now. His hair laid flat against his forehead and various purple marks scattered around his neck. "We could go get breakfast if you want. I would cook for you, but that wouldn't be really smart." He tried to ease the tension sensing your anxious state.

"I actually promised Rachel she could meet me at my place this morning." You turned around finding him closer to you than before. "I'm probably running late at this point." Your hands searched through your bag making sure you weren’t leaving anything behind. His hand reached forward lifting your chin while his other arm wrapped around your waist. Slowly, he leaned in, his lips just hoovering over yours. unable to resist the urge, you leaned forward pressing your lips to his. He pulled you closer, the kiss quickly escalating. After a minute that felt simultaneously like just a second and an eternity, he pulled back but remained close to you.

"Why cant you just stay? At least one time." He stood over you, his eyes trying to read the true emotions hiding behind yours. You stood quietly allowing yourself to lean into his touch. "You always leave (Y/N). I don't understand why." The frustration in his calm voice pulled at your heartstrings.

"Julian I have to go. I'm not doing this right now." You turned on your heel making your way out of his room and straight towards his front door. It was impossible to stop the tears as you walked outside towards your car. Knowing Julian wouldn't follow you, you remained inside your car taking deep breaths to calm your heavy breathing before starting the car on your way to your house.

"I don't know what to do Rachel!" You had been arguing with your best friend over your situation for over an hour at this point. It was all pointless. The conversation just kept going in circles.

"Just admit that you're in love with him and let him know! He wants you (Y/N). I don't understand how you can't see that." She sat on your couch nonchalantly causing your irritation to rise.

"You just don't understand Rachel. How many times did someone else seem to want me before? And how many times did that not end up with me crying over them to you?" You ran your hands through your hair in utter exasperation at the inability to do anything to help yourself. "I don't want to get hurt again. I promised this wouldn't happen to me again, Rachel."

"Just give him a chance (Y/N). He's Julian! Not some trashy guy I warned you about before. He's just as fucked over by the fact that you're not together yet as you are." Tears you thought you couldn't have anymore began to stream down your face again for what seemed like the hundredth time in just a couple hours. "Come here." You slowly walked to your best friend who sat waiting with open arms. You buried your face into her neck silently letting it all out. She knew how much this was hurting you even if you were the only one overthinking the situation. You sat with her for a couple minutes, her hand soothingly running up and down your back. The quiet moment was interrupted by the front door opening revealing a distressed Julian who just stared at the both of you. Quickly you wiped your tears standing up feeling the lump in your throat returning.

"Julian, what are you doing here?" The tension you felt before had returned, only this time it was worse. You saw Rachel shifting behind you probably just uncomfortable as you were.

"I wanted to talk to you. I didn't know I was intruding I'm sorry. I'll leave." His voice was higher than normal hinting that he was trying his hardest to hold back. You stayed quiet simply staring back at Julian who still stood in your living room despite his words.

"You're not intruding. I was about to go." Rachel broke the silence quickly grabbing her phone and walking out the house before you could stop her. Julian remained quiet even with Rachel gone which left you no other option but to start the inevitable conversation you had been dreading.

"What do you want to talk about Julian." You sat back down hoping he would follow.

"You know why I'm here (Y/N)." Tip toeing around the subject wasn't going to help either of you.

"Don't be ambiguous Julian. Please get to the point." He took a deep breath before unleashing everything he had been holding in.

“What are you waiting for?” His words instantly jab at your heart. “Do you just want to sleep around with me for eternity? Do you just want someone to not be alone?” You kept quiet knowing he had every right to complain. “What do you want us to be?” He turned his body towards you now hoping to get a response from you.

"It’s not that easy, Julian.” You knew that's not what he wanted to hear, but that was sadly the only thing you could come up with without completely breaking down.

“Do you even really want to be with me? Do you want to be with somebody else? Do you want to be with Rachel?” The comment instantly caused you to snap your head towards him.

“What are you talking about?” Out of everything he could have said this was the last thing you could've thought about.

“I just don’t understand what you want! We spend every second possible together. We talk about everything. And no matter how much closer I think I get to you, you always walk away. You walk back to her. And if that's what you want, then that's okay. Just tell me. Talk to me. Don't ignore whats going on.” You shook your head not knowing how to express every single thought that was currently running through your mind.

"Julian it is definitely not what you think. I don't want to be with Rachel. She's just my best friend and the only one I've been able to talk to about this whole mess. She's not part of it." You instantly shut down his suspicion moving on to the painful part. "And I don't blame you, okay? Not even I know what I want at this point." The tears unwillingly resurfaced. "I just want to be happy." You gave up all composure you had, immediately slumping forward dropping your face into your hands. Not two seconds passed before Julian was next to you holding you close to him.

"I'm sorry." You shook your head.

"No Julian. This isn't on you. It's on me. We're in this mess because I don't trust myself to be in a relationship again. Every time I try, everything goes wrong. I don't want that again." You finally looked up to see him. His eyes soft and empathetic. “You have no idea how many times I’ve been fucked over Julian. How many times I’ve been lied to.”

“I would never lie to you.” You smiled reaching for his hand, squeezing it softly.

"I know. And that's why I don't want to fuck this up for us." Julian pulled his hand back placing both of them on your shoulders now.

"Listen. I know people have treated you wrong, okay? I can see it. You’re hurt. You don’t trust that we'll work out. You don't believe I can love you. But you’re wrong this time, baby.” He smiled looking at you wishfully. "You're completely wrong."

“I’m being cautious Julian.” The more he spoke the less your argument seemed valid.

“You’re being cautious with the wrong person. I just want to love you." You sat up moving towards him now, his arms instantly on your waist pulling you onto his lap. He pressed kisses against your face as he held you tightly. You held his cheek, your fingers ghosting over the light stubble, as Julian moved forward capturing your lips in a gentle kiss.

"Good thing I already love you, Julian." You felt his lips forming a smile as you mumbled the words into the kiss.

"I know you do." He pressed his lips against yours once more. "Because I do too."