#so it won't be ready for september unfortunately :(((

[rawliverandgoronspice]

no but for real guys I actually can't believe the spike in skill that occured in... not even a couple of months??? The one in the left is from February, and it took me *less time* to make the one on the right.

The trap now will be to NOT fall in the infinite loop of redoing stuff over and over again in search of ultimate perfection, but damn

[exhaslo]

Puzzle Pieces Pt. 2

(Mafia!Miguel x Shy!Reader)

Part 1

Warning: Eventual Smut so Minors DNI, mentions of abuse, blood, murder, language, fluff, bullying, mentions of sex

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Normally, the inside of a freezer would be packed with boxes of meat or other cold food. Normally, a freezer would just be a place where workers popped in, grabbed the item they were looking for, and popped out. Unfortunally, this was no normal freezer. Behind the large wall of maze like boxes, was a large room.

Miguel's lazy gaze followed out of the maze and into the ice cold room. There, in the middle, was a man hanging upside down. Miguel's men all moved away from the hanging man, waiting for their boss' order. Miguel let out a quick sigh, watching his breathe.

"I only like to be this cold in the winter," Miguel started as he walked around the upside down, "What month is it?"

The prisoner just spat towards the floor, refusing to answer. His scowl towards Miguel and his men was filled with anger. Miguel scoffed in response and snapped his fingers. In and instant, Ben punched the man in the stomach. Peter bend down and grabbed the enemy by the hair.

"I don't like repeating myself."

"Tch, September." The man hissed. Miguel scoffed again,

"So winter is still a ways away." He stood in front of the man and pulled out a large meat cutting tool, "Vulture has some nerve having his men enter my territory. Looks like I'll have to teach him a lesson again."

"Kill me all you want, but Vulture won't be shaken by the likes of you!"

"Kill?" Miguel snorted, his cruel laugh echoing the freezer, "You must be new. We Spiders don't kill-"

Peter and Ben dropped the man to the ground, ignoring his grunts. The two brought him to a chair and held him down. Miguel's smirk grew wider as he approached the man slowly,

"Simplemente romperemos cada hueso de tu cuerpo. Una vez que hayas aprendido tu error, haremos lo que hacen las arañas y te sacaremos de tu miseria. (We'll just break every bone in your body. Once you learned your mistake, then we'll do as Spiders do and put you out of your misery.)"

--------------

It was finally time for you to go home. Your body was exhausted from working. If everyday was going to be like this, you honestly might not last. Slowly making your way out of the supermarket with some groceries, you whimpered. After walking a block, you finally cried. It was such a rough day.

The sheer pressure of everyone's presence was going to break you. Rubbing your eyes, you whimpered as people passed you by without a care. That was normal. It was normal. Shuddering a sigh, you continued to walk to your new home. No one ever checked up on you. No one ever thought to care how your feelings were. So why bother now?

Once you finally arrived home, you put your groceries away, showered and plopped onto your bed. You were too tired to make dinner. Too tired to check your laundry. Reaching for your phone, you double checked your alarms in case you fell asleep. As you did, you saw a text from one of your friends.

'Hey, so I know you don't want Eddie to know you moved, but like, he seems really worried.'

Your eyes started to tear up. Some friend. They were falling right into Eddie's palm. This was why you only told your parents and like two people about your sudden move. You had hoped they would keep a secret, but you should have known better. Which was why you never told them where in NYC you were.

'Don't tell him.' Was all you replied with.

This wasn't fair. You moved away for a reason. All you could do was hope that your parents and your two friends would stay quiet. Sobbing into your pillow, you curled into a ball and wept yourself to sleep.

---------

If any part of you was ready for a vacation, it was your eyes. They had bags all packed up and ready to go. You had been living in Nueva York for about one month now. It was still a hard adjustment for you. The trains scared you, your neighborhood scared you, your job scared you and your past haunted you.

"The usual?" Your supervisor questioned.

You raised your head tiredly, knowing that phrase by now. It was the handsome man from your first day. He only appeared every now and then to either pick something up or to do into the freezer. If not him, then one of his men.

"Number two, zero, nine, nine."

"Yes, sir."

That was a code you still couldn't memorize. Once your supervisor left, you slowly turned to place your wrapped meat into the display case. Your gaze focused on the handsome man before you, captivated by his intense stare. You could feel your heart race as it felt like he was glaring into your soul.

----------

Miguel had entered the supermarket, wanting to grab a quick bite to eat. He was in the area and wanted to escape his lackeys. They were about to have a meeting with another mafia gang, but Miguel had no intension of making peace.

Approaching the deli, Miguel inhaled deeply. It was busy and loud. He tilted his head, looking for the shy bunny, aka you. Once he spotted you, Miguel furrowed his brows. He approached the supervisor, demanding his usual. Once the Supervisor left, Miguel got a better look at you.

You faced him and froze. Those wide glossy eyes of yours had a wave of exhaustion. Your skin looked paler despite the redness of your cheeks. Miguel could see you tremble as you made eye contact with him. Your face turning even redder. It made him chuckle. Miguel was both amused and annoyed.

"You've gotten thinner, conejita (bunny). Are you not eating properly?" Miguel asked out of concern. Your lips parted ever so slightly,

"N-Not...um...N-Not really...B-But that's m-my fault." You whispered, shaking from his pressence.

Miguel's eyes widen as he finally heard your soft and sweet voice. It was like honey to his ears. You were so quiet that he almost didn't hear you either. Miguel watched as you played with your fingers, your sleeves rubber banded against your wrists. He furrowed his brows, wondering why they weren't rolled up any higher.

"What's your name?" Miguel asked. You flinched, glancing up at him again,

"(Y/N)." You answered.

"So sorry, sir! She's still learning the ropes here!" The Supervisor panicked as he rushed over with Miguel's order. Miguel nearly shot him a glare,

"I spoke to her first." He said and returned his gaze towards you, "It was a pleasure, (Y/N). Until next time."

----------

You felt your breathing return to normal as Miguel parted you with a goodbye. The way your name rolled off his tongue sounded so sweet. It almost made your heart flutter. Almost. Your fear of him was far greater than admiring him.

Returning to work, you couldn't get Miguel off your mind. You had known his name for a while, but now he finally knew yours. That and he even noticed that you lost weight. Not even your closest friends or family noticed back home. Your shoulders sunk at the thought. Were you losing too much weight now?

It was hard. You always got home tired and didn't feel like doing much of anything. Whenever you did manage to make food, it was something simple and unhealthy. This lifestyle wasn't working out for you. Perhaps you needed to schedule a doctor's appointment and get professional advice?

"M-Maybe...I'll do that...later." He mumbled to yourself.

-----------

Miguel made his way out of the supermarket, still thinking about you. He entered his vehicle, letting his driver take him back to his headquarters. You were so shy. Not like any of the other girls. Leaning back in his seat, Miguel glanced over to the woman whom he fucked earlier that day.

What did he have to do to hear your moans? You weren't going to give him anything fake. Miguel resisted a chuckle as he licked his lips at the thought. His cock buried deep into your shaking body. Your moans coming out almost pornographic as he ravished you. Oh, the thought couldn't be anymore sweeter.

"Parece que tengo un conejito que cazar. (Looks like I have a bunny to hunt.)"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next chapter

@migueloharacumslut @18lkpeters @deputy-videogamer @leahnicole1219 @synamonthy @thedevax @jolynesposts @thraetor @freehentai @2099hitmylineyline

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Are You Sure?! - Episode 5 observations

7.5/10 ☆

A couple fights over nothing in front of other people, creating an atmosphere full of tension. There's questions in the back of the audience's mind. What is underneath all that bickering? What lies under that perfect initial façade of a couple who knows everyting about what ticks the other one? They are rude, sometimes loud, sometimes they forget there's other people there. It makes a guest uncomfortable. So much so that the guest would rather leave than spend one more second there.

Is this Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf or Are You Sure?!

The Jeju trip has now ended. On a rather anticlimatic note, but a result of a day in which the need to actually stick to a format of a travel show went directly out the window. Another filler, in which the guest was ready to leave from the moment he woke up (which he did).

Episode 5 did not nothing but merely reinforce what we saw the previous day in terms of relationships dynamics. Which was to be expected. People don't change over night and they weren't put into situations that might allow for other facets to rise to the surface. Once again, Jimin and Jungkook are going about their day as a duo, as a team, as a couple, as bj brothers, you name it. The show had already been establishing that from day 1 of their trips around the world. There's the everpresent "we" and then everyone else surrounding them. From conversations at dinner, to spending time together at night, getting ready to go out or just staying indoors while one of them is taking a nap while the other is cooking nearby. Snapshots of a couple life.

One that bickers because of very stupid and silly reasons, but being together on the joke and knowing each other's boundary. A lot of people can spend years together and still wouldn't care when they cross the line.

I wanted a real fight and instead all I got was nonsense over spam or pink sausages. But I won't dwell too much on it because it's not necessary. Although it did add to the neverending list of Tedros not being able to understand the mood. He takes Jungkook's reaction seriously, he doesn't understand what Jimin is trying to say when he calls himself weaker on the boat (when Jimin did nothing but reveal his strength kink). It simply shows that his humor is not the same. And perhaps current mean spirited voices are a mirror of him, unable to take a step back and realize the nuances and meanings behind what people do and say.

There are now five weeks since AYS began. And somewhere between 5-6h of footage of Jimin and Jungkook which come after a long time of not seeing them together, despite knowing that they are together and have been throughout some major events in the last couple of years, which culminated with their joint enlistment (they might be forced to go, but it was a relief to hear them having a laugh about it in late September).

It is a shame though that the result of this show, which for some of us is a real treat as we finally get to see Jimin and Jungkook outside the specific type of silly BTS content, has also become an opportunity for complete denigration of this pair. In part by their own so-called fans. No one is forced to watch it. If the need to look for clues that reveal imaginary conflict or lack of closeness is the thing that gets them off, I'd rather not see it. Unfortunately, it is inescapable. These are people that do not deserve anything nice.

I'm excited for the final segment of the show and I want to cherish those next three weeks, even though it will all be over then. I hope there's a real return to the intimate component. Which doesn't meant fairytale happiness. It just means a glimpse into the last days of youth and freedom to be together in a way that had then to be put on hold as the harsh reality of forced "military adulthood" came knocking at the door.

[1000sunnygo]

Hi, do you know when chapter 1081 will be animated?

Hi!

I saw a speculative chart for episode : corresponding chapter circulating online, maybe this'll help?

So the earliest possible air date is August 31st. Knowing Toei, it may take a couple more weeks.

Bandai Spirits has Law, Teach and Bepo merches scheduled for late September. I assume they'll release after/around the time the conclusion episode airs? Not sure if there's any relation between the two since the figures are not spoilery. No Bepo update, unfortunately, gotta wait for the next Jump Festa in December for new figure previews..

IMO the episode won't be delayed beyond mid-September. Grab your tissues and get ready 😌

[shimakaze-revivalism]

this year i've been doing a lot of stuff that i didn't mean to do, and not doing a lot of stuff that i did mean to do. i got involved with the kink scene, i deepened my familiarity with carbonated beverages, i ate a lot of fried chicken sandwiches, i started reading again, and i played a lot of gacha.

and speaking of gacha, the only one that stuck with me from the decent-sized crop that i sampled this year was mihoyo's zenless zone zero! what to say about it . . . it's a Real Game, for one. it manages to shed the unsheddable "rubbishy" feel that is almost universal to gacha. its premise is like if andy and leyley were normal and worked as shadowrun hackers in jet set radio tokyo, in a semi-apocalyptic world where the only people around are orphans, anthros, or both. there are also sentient automatons that have cool outfits, and chubby baby bunny robots, but unfortunately neither of them have rights. it's got a really cool soundtrack, a charming spiderversesque look, and characters i found surprisingly compelling.

new music! well, new to me at least. you know ben and jerry's cherry garcia (possibly the most prominent contemporary cherry-focused ice cream flavor)? well jerry garcia was a guy who had this band that old men loved called the grateful dead. and well, i don't really care for what i've heard of their records to be honest. but it must be said that they were a jam band, and the 16 minute terrapin station gives one a taste of what i assume was the sensory height of a real-life hippy's experience, and i can imagine listening to it for decades to come.

indeed, if one wants a meal in the proggy realm rather than a bite, it's best to look to the guys that do that stuff all the time across the pond. Morgan put me on to electric wizard and their impeccable self-titled album has been in heavy rotation since. jackie put me on to yes' album relayer, and the first track provides the rarefied pleasure of hearing the singer of the irrepressibly lighthearted and goofy jojo anime ED "roundabout" trill about bathing in the blood of one's enemies.

in more occasional listening i have to rep my oshi 星街彗星 (hoshimachi suisei). her consistently strong body of work ranges from saccharine, to heartfelt, to sort of diva-core. listen, it's increasingly popular to reference hatsune miku, and it's often done with a sort of surface-level appreciation of miku, riding off of the long history miku has in overseas otaku culture. i myself have participated in this. but step outside the bit with me here. miku is a synth, an instrument. miku has all the humanity of the DX7. in fact that's what her color scheme is based on (because yamaha made both miku and the DX7)! hoshimachi suisei . . . listen, maybe people aren't ready. but she really is a virtual pop star. she's iconic. she's got a sigma grindset. she has a favorite food and a sister and friends and it's not lore it's reality. she's not a prop owned by a company, but an autonomous performer! miku is a virtual girl. suisei has a virtual face, but she's a real woman with a real dream! won't you believe in it?

staying with japanese affairs for a moment, anime has been good too! gushing over magical girls, perfect show, hannibal for anime girls, delightful and heartfelt. i also watched the vexations of a shut-in vampire princess, which was frenetic, lightning fast and kind of stupid, but i eagerly await another season. both extremely lesbian.

looking ahead, i'm extremely excited for the release of the alters, a game whose demo caught me completely off-guard, and i'm also excited to try the early access release of marmoreal, a sort of isometric completely touhoucore game with so much charm and sincerity.

that's my little roundup! have a great september!

[throughthewaves-if]

July Progress Post 7/31/24

Read the Aquarii progress post on @aquarii-if.

Happy end of July! Hope you all had a good month. Through The Waves is currently at 28,000 words.

Unfortunately, this month has been great for Aquarii, but not the greatest for Through The Waves. I can see the end in sight, and I have a full plan for how I want chapter one to go, but sitting down and writing Through The Waves has been trouble.

Same problem with Aquarii, Sugarcube had an update, and the saves menu is kind of ugly now, lol. I'm using the same template I use for Aquarii, though, so it should be easily fixable and I shouldn't be running into any more problems.

Here's some highlights from the month of July-

Announced Through The Waves.

Hit 20,000 words.

Reached 200 followers. 🥳

And here's what I have planned for the month of August-

Finish the writing portion of Chapter One and move on to coding.

Reach somewhere between 30k-40k words, maybe 50k, but I don't have a set amount of words in mind.

Announce the two new ROs I've started writing.

Same with Aquarii, I have pretty high hopes for August. Hopefully, the demo for Through The Waves won't take much longer, and I'll have some content ready for you guys sometime in August or September. I wish you all an amazing August!

[wrestlingisfake]

Wrestledream preview

Bryan Danielson vs. Jon Moxley - On September 25, Moxley defeated Darby Allin to earn this shot at Danielson's AEW men's world championship. If he wins, it'll be his fourth reign as the undisputed titleholder. In singles matches, Danielson is 3-2 against the challenger, but he hasn't defeated Moxley since 2010.

In 2022, Danielson approached Moxley about joining forces to advance their vision of pro wrestling, and they co-founded the Blackpool Combat Club. The faction was apparently dissolved on September 7, when Moxley turned on Bryan and smothered him with a plastic bag. Only Wheeler Yuta sided with Bryan in the schism; the group aligned with Moxley has not yet made its agenda clear, except to say that Mox tried it Bryan's way, but "diplomacy has failed," and now he needs the world title to proceed.

Danielson has indicated that once he loses the title, he will retire, so in effect his career is on the line every time the championship is on the line. Obviously, he's been building up his impending retirement for a year, but this time it really feels like the end of the road. On-screen Danielson is presented as a match for the challenger, but off-screen he's claimed that he lost strength in his legs during his last title defense. Bryan is not above misleading fans about "real" life to keep them guessing about his storylines. But at this point I believe the stories about his neck problems, and that's not a good position for a world champion unless he's about to down in a blaze of glory.

Moxley is clearly coming to mercilessly destroy Danielson, so if this is truly "the final countdown" it won't be the fond farewell fans are accustomed to. Bryan won't go down without a vicious fight, and Mox won't hug him after it's over. That would be a major bummer in Tacoma, so close to Danielson's hometown of Aberdeen. Is AEW really ready to end the show on such a huge downer? They've convinced me they will.

Will Ospreay vs. Konosuke Takeshita vs. Ricochet - Ospreay is defending the AEW international title in a three-way match, so the first man to score a fall on either opponent will win the match and the title. Ospreay and Ricochet had a historic rivalry in the mid-2010s, so there was a lot of hype around their title bout on October 2, but Takeshita ran in to ruin it. Logically Takeshita should be fined/suspended for his actions, but this is pro wrestling so they just added him to the rematch for no good reason.

I am not at all a fan of three-way matches. This match is a lazy excuse for not booking Ospreay-Takeshita, Ospreay-Ricochet, and/or Takeshita-Ricochet, and nothing is going to be settled here until we get at least two of those aforementioned singles bouts. I don't have a problem with Takeshita winning the belt. But winning it here, probably by stealing a fall from Ospreay by pinning Ricochet, isn't how I want to see it happen. Unfortunately I think that's very likely to be what happens.

Mark Briscoe vs. Chris Jericho - Jericho scored a pin on Briscoe in a trios match on September 28, so now he gets a shot at the ROH men's world championship. Jericho is seeking his second run with this title. The last time he won it, he began calling himself "the ocho," in reference to it being his eighth world heavyweight singles title. Will he become "the nueve?" I don't think that sounds as good, but we'll see.

Jericho's faction has been feuding with Briscoe's Conglomeration for months. Things didn't get really personal, though, until Chris suggested Mark would never be the champion that his late brother Jay was. Mark smacked the shit out of him for that. Although, to be honest, I think Jay would have straight up murdered him for that, so I suppose that supports Jericho's point.

I don't see the point in putting this belt back on Jericho. We've done this already. On the other hand, Briscoe chasing Jericho to regain the title is maybe the biggest match they could do for the Final Battle pay-per-view in a couple of months. That still doesn't convince me they should do it, but they might. I'm pulling for Briscoe, but I wouldn't bet much money on him.

Mariah May vs. Willow Nightingale - Willow won a four-way on October 9 to earn this match for May's AEW women's world championship.

I like Willow but the booking doesn't make a ton of sense. May has quite correctly pointed out that in the past few months Nightingale lost the AEW TBS title, lost her big feud against Kris Statlander, and lost the CMLL women's title. Obviously the 10/9 victory was meant to rehab her after those losses, but it's not enough--it doesn't even make sense that she qualified to be in a match to determine the #1 contender. That's a problem when it's very likely Willow is just going to lose this match too, since Mariah is on a hot streak and needs to be kept strong for future intrigue with Toni Storm and/or Mina Shirakawa.

I fully expect May to retain, and I'm not sure how Willow can regain her momentum after this.

Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen - The Young Bucks, Matt and Nick, are defending the AEW tag team championship against Private Party. Quen pinned Matt in a trios match on October 4, and Kassidy scored the win in a three-way match on the 5th to earn this title shot.

If that feels like a short build to a big title bout, it's because Private Party had only just finished getting their asses destroyed by Jon Moxley's heel stable for a few weeks. Moxley's big statement was that Quen and Kassidy have failed to achieve anything in the past five years, so he smashed Kassidy's hand with a hammer to give the team some adversity to overcome. In theory it would be a dramatic turnaround if Quen and Zay and regroup to win tag team gold. But I don't sense that's going to happen, so jobbing out to Moxley's crew and the Bucks is going to be hard to come back from.

I could see the Bucks deciding they want to end their run as champs by putting over a young team like Private Party. But a lot has been invested in building them up and cleaning out the division, so I can't believe it'll really end here. The obvious destination is a match against Kenny Omega & Kota Ibushi, and it's starting to feel like that might actually be possible sooner rather than later. So I think the Bucks will retain.

Jack Perry vs. Katsuyori Shibata - Shibata has challenged Perry for the AEW TNT championship. I like Shibata, but I think his role here is to give Jack a big win over an opponent he'd never beat on paper. Perry's got a good thing going as the little twerp who shouldn't be able to beat the babyfaces, but he always find a way anywhow. It seems like we're overdue for Adam Copeland to show up wanting to get his belt back, so maybe that'll happen after the match? Maybe not? Who knows.

Adam Page vs. Jay White - This is a rematch from July 6, when Page knocked White out of the Owen Hart tournament, thanks in part to a run-in by Christian Cage. White evidently sustained a real injury that has been worked into the story, so that he's pissed at Page and (I presume) Cage for putting him on the shelf for three months.

Page's storyline for the past year has been his pyrrhic campaign for revenge against Swerve Strickland, which has eaten away at his soul. The novel twist here is that Jay is a fucking sociopath who could not give two shits about Page's emotional trauma, and isn't afraid to respond in kind to Page's ruthless violence. It is absolutely wild to me that Page is the sympathetic heel here, and Jay is the unworthy babyface, but here we are.

I think Page has to beat Jay here, and beat him badly enough to end the feud. But as a longtime New Japan fan and veteran Jay White hater, I have learned all too painfully that you can't ever count him out. So this could go either way, I suppose.

Darby Allin vs. Brody King - Darby is pissed he lost his world title shot to Jon Moxley, so he issued an open challenge and his old nemesis King answered. In one-on-one competition, Brody leads the series 4-1-1. Darby has beaten him, but he's never pinned or submitted him.

Darby's promos have been all over the board lately. He was complaining about "all the complacent guys in the back" so much that he started to sound like he was auditioning for a spot in Mox's heel group. I saw in a recent interview that he said he wants to bring out more of Brody's real-life personality, because he thinks fans would find that scarier than his on-screen presentation. Man, if Darby thinks Brody King doesn't already scare the shit out of me, then that bus must have hit him harder than I thought. Anwyay, I'm rooting for Brody, but I guess Darby needs a hometown win.

Hologram vs. The Beast Mortos - This is scheduled for the best two out of three falls, so I guess they're trying to make this feel like a traditional lucha libre main event. Hologram, formerly known as Aramis, has been undefeated since he debuted with AEW in July. Mortos, formerly known as Black Taurus, has only one singles victory in AEW, which was yesteday, against, uh, the Butcher. So yeah, Mortos has mainly been a jobber to the stars, but I think the fans dig the man-bull gimmick and he seems to be kind of getting a push now that he and Jake Roberts are aligned with La Faccion Ingobernable. Even so, I figure Hologram will win again.

Max Caster & Anthony Bowens vs. Mason Madden & Mansoor - This is scheduled for the pre-show. The Acclaimed (Caster and Bowens) have been oddly hostile about MxM Collection (Mason and Mansoor) coming to AEW, and I assume it's because there's only room for one tag team that makes weird sex jokes and isn't afraid to seem kinda gay. Personally I like both teams so I wish they'd put aside their differences, but it's not All Elite Friendship. The Acclaimed really ought to win and get back to chasing the tag title, I'm not sure what happened to that.

Anna Jay vs. Harley Cameron - Another pre-show match. Anna seems to be getting a push since returning from STARDOM's 5 Star Grand Prix, and I'm all for that. Harley is a fun character, but I'm not sure she's ever won a match, so I think you can tell where this is going. Anna has to win.

Atlantis Jr. vs. Brian Cage - Still another pre-show match. Atlantis is defending the ROH men's television title, which he won back in June. He's also the CMLL world historic light heavyweight champion, but that's not at stake and I'm sure Cage wouldn't meet the weight limit anyway. To Atlantis's credit, he has come back to ROH now and then to defend the TV title, but his last defense was in August so I suspect this match exists to get the belt off him.

[nimdreams]

Motherhood

Written September 2, 2022 and edited September 26, 2023

As a child I always expected to be a mother one day. Watching Gilmore Girls, I really wanted to have a daughter at a young age. The years passed and I was never in a relationship or in a mindset for a pregnancy. Going into my mid 20s, I wasn't going to be a young mother anymore. Still I thought that was what I wanted one day.

Then I got my autism diagnosis and I started to really think about what I am like and what I truly want. Did I want a child? Or did I /think/ I wanted a child? I was never interested in children, definitely not ready for one of my own. As I aged into my 30s it became clear to my husband and me that we likely would not have children. I don't think I want them anymore. When someone is pregnant, it hurts me, I do get jealous. But my health won't allow us to raise a child, the way we think a child deserves and human children aren't what I am interested in.

The hurt of someone being pregnant with a human child is nothing compared to my need for my own pups. I have always loved dogs more than humans, puppies more than babies. What I wish for is to carry my own litter, nurture them and teach them and see them move out into the world as they grow up. When I imagine my own pups, they are Golden Retrievers. Small blind balls of cream fur. I feel awkward and exposed sharing how much I want this, how I want to lick them clean and pick them up gently with my teeth. I want to rest in a pile of softly breathing woofers that are my own.

Having a dogson alleviates some of this craving. He is not the right breed, but unfortunately we cannot take care of a big breed. I don't get to mother over him as much, as he is already 8 years old and a father himself. We didn't get him as a puppy, I didn't get to fulfill my mothering needs. Having him around is wonderful though. I recognize so much of myself in him. I still get to teach him little things.

I hope to one day get a puppy again and though I won't be able to treat him as my own, as in this human body that is not possible, and would be confusing to the pup as he'll see me as human (the thought of which is painful enough), I think that will help with some of my need for my own pups. Perhaps if I am healthy enough again one day and the stars align, I'll even be able to have a mother dog and go through the process of pregnancy, birth and raising pups vicariously through her. I am not sure how painful that would be or if it would feel euphoric, but it seems like a wonderful and warm idea.

[eunicexxx]

WELCOMEBACK2NE1CONCERT in Manila Day 1

Wait, what? Is that really the title of this entry? Can you pinch me and tell me it's not a dream anymore but it just happened and I was really there at the concert? If I tell my 15 year old self about this, she won't probably believe me. Because it was just a dream, a wishful thinking…

Okay, let's walk down memory lane before I talked about the concert experience.

I started fangirling 2NE1 when I was 15 years old. They were already 3 years in since their debut. Not a lot of people in my life knows that I'm a Blackjack (what 2NE1 calls their fans) and that I stan them HARD. They had their first concert in PH last 2014 and it was heartbreaking to not be able to go. Well, simply because I was just a student back then and had no means of buying a ticket. Fast forward to 2016, they announced their disbandment and that was a total heartbreak for me and for all the Blackjacks (most especially those who haven't watch them perform live). So the dream to watch them live became impossible. But I think I'm unconcsiously hoping that one day, I'll be able to watch them perform live.

May 2024, it was their 15th year anniversarry as a group. It was celebrated, and I know somehow, my fellow Blackjacks are thinking that there could be a possible reunion concert. And then sometime in July they announced that they are back and last September they posted that they will be having a concert in Manila!!! And oh my freaking goodness that was one of the best news in 2024!!! cries in buckets The CRAZYNEKS (me, Karen, Joanna, Juvy, Melord, Shi, Liz) were so excited that we planned and talk about our desired seats. We planned to get lowerbox seats. But unfortunately, when the ticket selling day arrived, only me, Shi and Liz got tickets. It was not our desired seats but at least we were able to secure. I swear it was so hard to get tickets, may it be online or onsite.

(this photo above was 10 years apart. From a simple dream to reality. OMYGOSH)

Still not sinking in. I can't believe we are really going to 2NE1's concert.

November 16, 2024

We got the day 1 concert tix. We met fellow Blackjacks (hi Shey and Jelai!), and the girl who went as Sandara Park with her palm tree hair--cute and A for effort! The moment that my ticket got scanned, and the light turned green, that's just when my excitement hit the roof. I kept telling Shi that it's real, it's really happening. We went inside the Arena, in our designated seats and realized that we got good seats! I swear at that time I'm so close to bawling my eyes out. 7pm, the show started, and when the silhouette of them 4 appeared, the whole Arena screamed and shouted. When CL shouted the intro of 'Fire':

"I go by the name of CL of 2NE1! It's been a long time coming but we here now. And we about to set the roof on fire, baby! You better get yours coz I'm gettin' mine!"

And yep, they really set the roof and the whole Arena on fire!!! waaaaah!!! I can't even put to words everything that I felt that time. I sang, danced, screamed with the girls and it was really a dream come true. cries again can't believed that happened!! Also, I can't believe that I still do memorized their songs. After all those years, I think it was really etched in my heart…

(with fellow blackjacks, Shey and Jelai and with my blackjack besties, shi and liz)

Sadly, there are songs wherein Bom was at the backstage because she's not feeling well. But during 'I LOVE YOU' she's back and until Encore she's there. They performed 'IN or OUT' as well and this time CL have practiced! We waited 10 years for that and it's all worth it! (tanggal angas ni CL sa Pinas!)

But every good thing comes to an end, right? But we're all not ready! We want more! If only I have the means to attend all their concert, I'll definitely would. 15 years, but the performance is still like no other. Grabe kayo, 2NE1!

After the concert, our eyes were swollen from crying! Roller coaster ride ang emotions ng mga Aunties during the concert. Lol.

They're my youth. This may sound so cheesy, but really a part if me was healed that night. It was just a dream, a wishful thinking. Then it happened. And I was there. (WHAT?!)

(random concert photos...)

AHHHH CAN I JUST COPY AND PASTE WHAT I'M FEELING HERE SO YOU WOULD KNOW WHAT I'M FEELING???!! HUHUHUHU!

Thank you for coming back, CL, Bom, Dara, Minzy! <3 2NE1 BLACKJACKS 4EVER! NOLZA!

[jesterboystrick]

September Writing Update & Plans

I know I don't have an audience here yet, but I'd like to try posting some casual updates on my fic writing for anyone who's looking for that. Howdy to any of my AO3 readers who found me! Here's a little update:

How is With Hearts in his Eyes ch 3 going? Working on it! I know what I want the third chapter to be, and I have a little bit written already, but it's not at the very top of the priority list at the moment because...

I'm writing a bunch of smutty one shots I plan to release throughout October! Unfortunately, working on Heart Eyes has taken a backseat while I mostly work on the one shots, but I do get a bit of progress on it here and there! I don't want to make any promises, so I can't say when I'll have more Heart Eyes up, but I'll post more as soon as it's ready to be posted, whenever that is.

As for the one shots, I'm very excited to get these out there next month! Some of them are... oh boy, I sure love working on them a lot! I'm not necessarily doing "kinktober" or following any particular prompts, but most of them do have themes that wouldn't be out of place on a list like that ;) You can expect more Zoro and Sanji smut, along with some other ships thrown in too! There's some fics I think Heart Eyes and Dressed Down fans will really like, and some others that don't have much in common with my previously posted works, but I'm excited to see the response to them anyways!

For now, the plan is to have fics ready to post on the first and last day of October, along with one per week in between... at the very least! I have plenty of extra ideas and wips for things that I could post in addition, but those are just bonuses. If I happen to finish them, I'll put them up between the others! If not, I'll put them back in the wip folder and save them for when they're ready.

Hope it's not too disappointing to hear that the next Heart Eyes update won't come as swiftly as the last one did, but maybe the promise of more smut in the near future can soften the blow a bit! I really do like what I have in store for y'all, both with Heart Eyes and my October plans, so I hope it's worth the wait! <3

[upwiththegood]

3rd September M.S.G. meeting

Well here we go again, the fist Tuesday in every month and a special table set aside by the friendly Landlord and landlady at the Fox & Goose was ready for us and whatever we should want from the excellent menu, should it be a nice bowl of soup, a bacon sandwich or whatever takes your fancy.

The agenda included what we would look forward to in the new year, as most of the months upto Christmas have a few things already organised.

So a Spring Break with a few days away, some fun and games, entertainment and decent visits which have been well thought out6, unlike t6he previous two , which obviously hadn't.

We were looking at Shearing's brochure with both coach and self drive options, both near and far and even had a brochure for a possible Tinsel and Tassel, Christmassy theme break next Autumn. Of course all of these things would need to be properly organised, with numbers interested, deposits paid and venues checked

Meanwhile a new flyer is being organised and a six month diary containing significant event

We're still struggling for number and must, somehow, sort this out as CoVid still rears it's ugly head

Something is definitely driving the masses away or making them stay at home and we haven't managed to work it out yet, even with all the things in the pipeline. Boat trip, complete with fish and chip supper, Barry's book signing event in Headcorn, complete with High Tea, singing group and drinks and a still to be organised Christmas Extravaganza, complete with Father Christmas, presents and entertainment in a lovely intimate location.

Just you wat and see.

Unfortunately, none of this will happen without some support, so please remember JFK's words of wisdom.

"It's not what the Group can do for you but what you can do for the Group"

So please support it or lose it and make a few people very happy

One won't know what you've lost until it's gone

[simplylemonboii]

I am ready for the next chapter, unfortunately I've got to wait a few months.

I've been checking the emails constantly, nothing about an N.O. yet.

Soon, last time it was around September through December that I had been working on all that

Soon. With that kind of money I won't need a roommate

May try and pick up Kitten to watch Jynx while I'm away at work. I'd be nice if I could cover housing so they can finish school

I wish their husband hadn't been so useless. Kitten always deserved better

Let's see if I can survive the rest of this chapter, make all their dreams come true

I'd say make mine come true, but to be honest I can't remember even a single dream anymore

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Games

*Warning Adult Content*

Emmett

This morning, after Finnegan left, I finally got around to going through my mail from last week.

Most of it was crap, of course but one letter surprised me so much that I sat down before opening it.

I didn't expect to hear back, I just submitted a few photos on a whim while Finnegan was in Michigan.

I'd thought that having something to look forward was good even though I knew I didn't have a chance.

But now I'm holding a letter from the Maryland Arts Council.

Every fall they offer a class and then do a huge photography exhibition that gets seen by important people.

People who launch careers.

People who make money for people like me.

I guess they could be nice and respond to all the applicants.

That's probably it.

Until I open it I don't know if I've been accepted or not.

It's like that dead cat in a box.

I might have gotten in.

Once I read it, I'll know I didn't.

Not that I expected to, I've never been able to devote the time and energy into it that I want to.

Some people don't have jobs and bills to pay and have parents to buy them great cameras and all the lenses they want.

I have to make do.

This class, shit, I can't go even if I want to.

Job. See? So it doesn't matter, I'll just open it.

I rip it open and then pull the letter out gingerly.

It's folded in three and I slowly flatten it out on the table.

Dear Mr. Emmett Locke.

Shit... SHIT... Holy shit I'm in.

Damn.

I'm floored, honestly and damn proud of myself.

I can't accept... I'm not free from 9 to 5 for two weeks in September and October but that's okay, just knowing I got in is enough to get me excited about working on my pictures from the beach.

Unfortunately I have to work so the pictures will wait until Thursday when I'm off.

I head to the garage and let me tell you, Peter is glad I'm back if the sign, chocolate bar and little note saying 'better you than me today' is any indication.

We have cars in both bays and two parked out front, they got a little backed up last week so I spend the day doing two sets of brakes and some transmission work.

When I get home Wednesday evening, Finnegan is gaming.

His tongue is out and he's laser focused.

He's at least taken time to get out of the monkey suit and get himself a drink but he doesn't even look at me when I walk in.

"Hey darling."

No answer. Okay?

I go get cleaned up and out of my dirty clothes and then start on dinner.

Once the pasta is cooking I sit down next to him.

I didn't see much of him Monday or Tuesday, so much for not needing to be in the office, so I'm glad he's home for dinner tonight.

"Short day for you. I'm glad. Dinner in about ten minutes."

"Not hungry, wanna play."

Okay, I've been patient.

"Did you have dinner, Finn?"

Because if so, when I got home would have been the time to tell me.

"Nope."

"Then you'll eat when it's ready."

"No."

He's never been this bratty before.

I wonder if something happened at work today or if this is just from having no little time Monday and Tuesday.

Maybe he's in withdrawal after last week.

I snake my hand down behind him and press against his hole right through his undies.

"You'll do what I say, Finn."

He's still trying to play but I lean over and nibble on his neck.

"Emmett."

"For being a brat you can come set the table."

I know this game autosaves so I grab the remote and turn the TV off.

"No, Emmett. That's mean."

"Ignoring me when I got home was mean, Finn. Telling me you won't eat the dinner I made is mean. I think you desperately need a lesson in how to treat me."

He's not mad now, he's smiling.

"I like lessons."

He follows me into the kitchen and grabs the salad, taking it to the table.

Before long we're eating, I just had to drain and sauce the pasta and he is shoving food into his mouth.

Not three minutes later he hops up, drops his plate in the sink, mumbles a thank you and disappears back into the living room.

Nope, not happening.

I finish eating and when I head out he's playing the game again, of course.

He hasn't even sat down, he's right up against the coffee table as if it'll help him play better.

I haven't done that since I first started watching porn.

I decide that if he's going to play... I'm going to play with him.

I grab the lube and then yank him down onto my lap.

"A good little boy doesn't treat his master like this, Finn. Now you're going to make it up to me."

"No, Emmett. I'm playing. Gonna beat the boss."

"I'm the boss, babe but you can keep playing. In fact, I insist."

I grind my cock against his ass while palming him.

He squirms, pressing against my hand.

"It's hard, Em."

"Lots of things are hard."

Our cocks, playing while being messed with, life.

"Lift up."

I manage to wiggle his undies down and then I perch him on my knees so I can really play with him.

I decide to hold him by the balls and start opening him up with one finger.

His thighs are flexing and he's clenching around me but managing to play, somehow.

I wonder how long he can do it.

Eventually I have two fingers massaging his spot while I slowly jerk him off.

He finally tries to put the controller down.

"Feels so good, Emmett."

"Uh uh but you keep playing. Your game is more important than me, so you just keep going."

"Is not, I'm sorry."

He tries to turn around but I hold him in place.

"Not yet you're not. Keep going."

He picks it back up and I tease and mess with him for another twenty minutes.

There's a rivulet of sweat going down his back and I've lost track of how many times he's died.

"Please? Please Em. I need you."

"I thought you wanted to beat the boss and you haven't yet, have you?"

"Can't concentrate Em. need lovies."

"Is that so?"

I love playing with him but I only have so much self-control.

I nudge him forward and he ends up on his knees, chest resting on the coffee table.

"Keep playing, Finn."

"No, want lovies. Please Em."

Well, if his hands aren't busy holding a controller.

"Show me... hold that little ass open for me."

Damn that's sexy as hell.

I really like his hands back here and he does have a sweet, sweet hole.

"You've been a very naughty boy, Finn."

"I know, I'm sorry Em. Will you hurt me?"

He's begging for it, he wants it rough.

Fine.

"You deserve it. You shouldn't ignore your master because when you do, you'll get in trouble and you, little boy.... are in big trouble."

Time to make him scream.

[deadcityhq]

**CHARACTER NAME:** Dorothea "Thea" Kincaid

**CHARACTER FACECLAIM:** Mandip Gill

**CHARACTER AGE/DOB (if relevant/they’re not old af):** September 22, 1915; andy math help

**CHARACTER PRONOUNS/GENDER IDENTITY/SEXUALITY ETC:** she/her, cis female, Bi Bi Bi

**CHARACTER FANDOM:** N/A

**OC OR CANON:** OC

**CHARACTER TYPE:** seelie since andy is mean and won't let me do a selkie :/

**HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN IN NEW YORK/WHY ARE THEY THERE ETC:** Two months

**IMPORTANT CHARACTER INFORMATION TO NOTE AND SHARE:**

- Thea grew up in a noble. Her technical title was duchess within the seelie hierarchy

- Her mother was .... not exactly the worst, but also not the best. Thea grew up to be a wild child, with a love for beautiful things and love for the magic that ran thee her veins. This strained their relationship, and while Thea loved her dearly, nothing she did ever seemed to be enough or correct for her mother.

- Thea loves to make things with her hands. Between 1950 -1970, she apprenticed to under a Seelie named Lysander Pendragon. This was considered a "young rebellious move" that her mother excused as learning a craft and how to use her magic. She made jewelry.

- This ended when Lysander Pendragon mysteriously disappeared. One night, after a particularly long week of fog and mist, he was never heard from again. This upset Thea greatly, and she is still looking for him to this day.

- At some point, Thea engaged in a romantic relationship with Warlock Dorian Smith. They were in love, though neither of them would admit it - Thea's position and Dorian's lack-there-of was .... well, not ideal.

- A particularly vindictive cousin jealous of Thea told on her. and things blew up from there. It was a messy blow up, and it ended with Thea basically torching her relationship with Dorian (which she hoped was for the greater good) and turned her relationship with her mother sour.

- Despite Thea's wishes, she continued to see Dorian, and unfortunately their relationship was volatile. (But, fortunately, the hate sex was killer).

- Things came to a head when her mother arranged a marriage for her, despite Thea's wishes. The arrangement was to another high status family, and Thea only ended up agreeing to just... make everything _stop_. She was tired of fighting, tired of arguing, and felt utterly unhappy and defeated.

- Dorian crashed her wedding as she was getting ready and the two uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh engaged doing the deed. Thea went on to her wedding afterwards like nothing happened (and walking a little funny).

- The guy she was marrying actually wasn't too bad. His biggest crime was that he was a little dull for Thea's tastes, but didn't want to do it either, so she gave him a pass for that. His family, however, wanted to seal the marriage and then kill her!

- Thea knew something was off for weeks before the wedding, but was too depressed and sad to really do anything. While walking down the aisle, however, things began to click together....

- and eventually, during the ceremony, Thea concluded there was poison in the wine goblet.

- She stopped the wedding, declaring as such. Things descended into chaos, both sides of the family chiding her, calling her dramatic, but never actually /denying/ it, since Seelies couldn't lie. it was then that Thea realized her mother was in on the whole thing. They just had to bind their families together.

- So she went nuclear. It wasn't pretty, with her tearing into every member of the family and even more royalty while she was at it... It got so bad, her husband to be got so overwhelmedC he grabbed a mug of wine to drink.... and immediately died via poisoning. Cue mayhem.

- Thea was jailed, but ultimately released having found no wrong doing. She was stripped of her title and ultimately disgraced. Her mother has made multiple attempts on her life since

- She traveled afterwards, spurned and angry. She entered the human realm and traveled for years, never staying in the same place for long, and searching for any trace of Lysander.

- She came to NYC 2 months ago, and has started her own jewelry business.

- Like most seelie, she can't lie, so she is rather creative at words.

- Can turn into two forms: a crow and a seal

**THREE AESTHETICS THAT REMIND YOU OF YOUR CHARACTER:**wax dripping down calloused fingers, emeralds sinking to the bottom of the ocean, betrayal following your footsteps like a shadow.

OOC INFORMATION: 

**MUN NAME/ALIAS:** love

**MUN AGE:** 26

**MUN TRIGGERS:** cancer

[eucalyprhodes]

Today, I was reminded of my dream job and how that quickly turned into my nightmare 😅

I think I've talked about the what and why I pursued it and why I left. But I don't think I've ever talked about the absolute stage of desperation that I was in. I think because frankly, I am embarrassed ... and you'll see why.

January 2021, on my last semester of grad school, I FINALLY got a job interview with a local private Christian University. For context, I have gotten interviews from this university for 2 different roles prior. and both interviews, I have already made it to the final stage. Both roles however, were not academic advisor, so the rejection, though painful, was still bearable. January 2021 was the very first academic advising interview that I had since I started on this journey. Unfortunately, this time, I didn't even make it to the second and third interview. I guess my first interview was not that great? (2 years later, I found out via LinkedIn that my interviewer ended up being let go from the institution. That was eerie). I was so done with this university though.

June 2021, I had just finished grad school and had such high hopes. I thought this time, I surely will get to be an academic advisor. I have years of relevant experience, I have my shiny masters degree, I'm ready! I got an interview with one of my dream university for an academic advisor for the college of business. GREAT! I love business students, I have toured the business building so often, I was so excited for it. I went through 3 rounds of interview only to get rejected yet again. At this time, I have already feeling all the pain and emotion from 5 years of rejection, so I actually wrote an email to the DIRECTOR of that department, asking why I didn't get the job! She gave me some weird roundaround answer that didn't make sense to me at all. Oh , and this whole process took about 2 months so there's that.

September 2021, another interview with the same university from June! Academic Counselor for a special population program. I was so excited because I thought this is exactly what I was hoping for! I'll get to work with underserved, first-gen students and this is exactly why I got into advising! I went through three rounds of interviews and by first week of October, I'm just waiting ..

I remember doing this embarrassing thing. On Sundays, I would drop off my husband at church because he serves and I'd go to the second service. While waiting for second service to start, I would drive to the campus because it's nearby, I would park and literally, PRAY over the school. I would pray loudly and boldly (in my car though), I cried and prayed and cried again. It was my alone time with God to really be honest and cry out to him. I think one time, campus security almost approached me but I saw them coming so I left right away. I figured I have nothing to lose so this is my last desperate attempt to get God to finally give me what i want.

and He did! He loves me that much that He graciously gave me this one thing that I wanted in the past 5 years. Only to find out almost immediately, that this career is not for me and I will never be happy and fulfilled here.

Why did I share this?

Because I want you to know that God does answer prayers, even for things that He knows will not be good for us BUT He knows we'll learn from it. Why didn't God just prevent me from getting my dream job if He knew I won't like it anyways? Because He knows that without that job, I would not be where I am today. He knows that I needed to be in that job, to see the reality of how that career pathway does not align with mine anymore, and because He knew this experience would bring a new perspective in my life, one that would grow my faith in Him. Our God is so good and smart, and today, I was reminded of that.

This is an excerpt from Pastor Jack Hibbs' book

"If what you want is against what God wants but you keep harping on it (basically NAGGING God for it), eventually, you'll probably get it. When you get it, it will be your demise, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself"

If I didn't experience the biggest disappointment in my professional life, I wouldn't return back to HR. If I didn't experience this, my faith journey would be different. God knows every moment of my life and He perfectly crafted this time so that I can grow to trust Him more.

and now, I need to apply it to this season of trusting God about my desire to conceive. These past few months have been difficult to say the least, learning how to deal with my feelings and emotions over the fact that everyone else gets pregnant (might I add, not even struggling to be one) while my husband and I have making all conscious efforts to get pregnant. However, recently, I came to realize AND remember, what we ask doesn't always come into fruition and that is okay because God knows what's best for us.

If I nag and beg and cry out to God for a child right now, He probably will eventually give me one but it might not be the best thing for me in that season. And I know in my heart deep down, we're not ready for a child. Financially, emotionally, spiritually. There's a lot of things I need to work on before accepting the greatest and hardest responsibility in this earth. So today, I can peacefully say I understand. Whether a child will come into my life or not, I understand because it's God's plan and God has the final say. I don't want to force my desire on God, I don't want to force my timeline on God because He is in full control and I am okay with it.

If you have been struggling with unanswered prayers, just know that God knows what He's doing, EVEN IF it is so heckin HARD sometimes. Do you know how many times I cried in August because of pregnancy announcements around me? too much to count LOL But they all had to happen, because they brought me down to my knees, and that's when I find comfort in our Lord, Jesus Christ.

I hope this blog encourages you <3

[traceemerald]

-September 5th, Plantperson Journal, Entry 8-

I've farmed enough chickens to get over a stack of arrows by now, so now I should be able to deal with witches relatively easily.

I'd like to finish my skylight before I try lighting up any more of the cave I've been trying to light up, but I don't have enough sugarcane to drain the water yet.

That probably sounds weird if you don't have context from previous journal entries.

Anyway, while I wait for sugarcane to grow I'm gonna go mining for more diamonds.

That mining trip resulted in 4 iron, 51 lapis, 1 stack plus 62 redstone, and unfortunately 0 diamonds.

Honestly, the worst part about that mining trip is that my sugarcane didn't even grow very much while I was away.

I think I'm gonna take a trip back to world spawn to get some spruce saplings, this won't help with getting sugarcane but it'll let me use spruce wood in buildings (I can also hopefully get some things from suspicious gravel along the way, as I'll be passing by some underwater ruins).

That trip resulted in 18 spruce saplings, 2 emeralds, a fortune I book, 5 mourner (warden) pottery sherds, 1 diamond, 1 heart of the sea, and some other less interesting things like 2 iron axes.

That trip was also better at letting sugarcane grow, and I've now planted all the sugarcane my farm has room for.

Anyway, now that I have spruce saplings I'll need to make a place to grow giant spruce trees, but I also don't want to cover part of my area with podzol, so I'll worry about that some other time.

For now I think I'll go to the nether for a little bit and make the area around my portal a bit safer (and see if there's a fortress nearby).

Nether portal is safe now, I don't have to worry about accidentally falling off a cliff (I also moved my portal down to ground level).

There aren't any fortresses nearby, so I'll have to go looking for one once I'm ready to go there.

-End Journal Entry 8-