#so it had testes and i thought it would be solly to give them to seb

[dragonfruitflamb3]

Why can I just never draw this guy happy

Dissected snake under the cut (it's not very bad dw)

Couple different versions, just cuz I couldn't decide which pic was better plus before I brought out the red marker lol

[thetriggeredhappy]

59 with demo/engie per favor💜

i don’t even know what the Cute Funny Ship Name is for these two but i hope i did well?? (warning for engie being embarrassed about his body type)

#59: Kissing So Desperately That Their Whole Body Curves Into The Other Person’s.

“Darlin’, care to spare an eye?”

Demo looked up from his own project��the last touches on some particularly finnicky wiring for a new potentially Spy-proof door panel—as Engie slid over a pad of grid paper to him. It was a page full of equations in the Engineer’s neat, blocky text. “I know I say it every time I see it, but I’d give my other eye for handwriting like this,” Demo joked, sliding the pad closer and starting to look over it critically. He squinted at it after a second. “Even if you do use the bloody imperial system still for some damn reason.”

“Just what I’m used to,” Engie shrugged, sitting back and rolling his shoulders to work out the stiffness that came from hunching over a workbench for stretches of time.

Demo continued his way down the page, eye darting back and forth quickly over it before stalling for a few seconds near the bottom. “Twelve inches in a foot?” he asked for confirmation, glancing back up at Engie.

“Yup.”

“Made a mistake right here at the end, Toymaker, wrote the equation right but the answer’s by eleven, not by twelve.”

“Damn,” Engie sighed, taking the pad back and starting to erase. “Thanks, I would’ve missed that for sure.”

“Half the reason I’m here,” Demo returned easily, moving back to his own project. “Good on you for wanting to show your work, at least, makes checkin’ it a damn sight easier.”

“I noticed that, that you never write down anything,” Engie said, looking up at the way Demo worked without any kind of guide or diagram.

“Don’t need it. Keeping around paper’s a fire hazard in my line’a work, and takes up time besides. Nah laddie, all the diagrams I need are right up here.” He tapped at his own temple. “Only things I have hanging up in my workshop are a periodic table and a fire extinguisher.”

“You don’t have that memorized?” Engie asked, speaking even as he redid the math on the paper in front of him.

“I do, but just the order. Could probably copy it down if I had to, but, eh. Saves time to have a cheat in front of me.”

Engie looked up at Demo appraisingly. “I really do think it would be worth your time to take an IQ test,” he said, as he’d said a few times before. “Certified genius looks awful good on a job application.”

“So does the last name DeGroot, darl, I can already get a job damn near anywhere I bloody well want, even with an eye knocked out and a half-dead liver,” he laughed. He flicked a switch and snapped shut the box, holding it closed while he pressed a few buttons, hearing them beep and watching the lights flicker back at him accordingly. “Should be all set with this.”

Engie put aside his pencil and stood up, moving to pick up a tray of tools and screws. “Alright, might as well install it now,” he said.

Demo nodded, stretching and grinning as there were a few answering pops in his back. “Lead the way, lad,” he said cheerfully.

He did so, making sure the other door was unlocked before they let the main one close and lock behind them. The instillation of the new panel was a quick affair, especially with Demo’s expert hands, and it was only half an hour before Engie was screwing it in place and testing it out. The door clicked open, and they grinned at each other, satisfied.

“Now, I’d hate to tell you how to do your job,” Demo started.

“But?” Engie prompted.

“But you know how he keeps breaking in here, right?”

Engie shook his head, brows furrowing above his goggles.

“Well, he can just unscrew these,” he said, pointing at the screws holding the box closed and to the wall. “Then pull the thing open, tinker with it how he pleases. You need something more secure than screws.”

Engie blinked, surprised. He hadn’t thought of that. “What, so... bolts?”

“Nah. Hand me that,” he said, and took the power drill from Engie. “Here’s what you do, some foolproof security solutions.”

He put the drill back against the screws and ran it, Engie immediately recoiling at the horrible noise as Demo stripped the screw, grinding the grooves away into nothing.

“Hell or high water, not a damn thing you can do about a stripped screw,” he said two screws in, and Engie had to admit that he had a point, even as he mourned the damage that doing so would do to his power drill.

“Might need to replace parts of that now,” he complained.

“Solly will break it within the weak, darl,” Demo pointed out, voice raised over the sound of the drill. “Good as scrap anyways.”

He finished off his little job, and they went back into the workshop for Demo to collect his wiring kit and for Engie to get back to his own math. “Care to stick around a while longer?” Engie invited, a little hope in his voice, pushing his goggles up for a moment.

“Ach, how am I supposed to say no to a face like that?” Demo teased, taking a seat again and watching as Engie kept writing. He rolled his eye after a second. “You and your damn imperial system nonsense, yards this, pounds that—“

“Well, I’m more pounds than yards anyways,” Engie joked, grinning up at Demo in a way that was vaguely self-deprecating.

When he did, he found that Demo was giving him A Look. “We gonna need to have another talk, lad?” he asked, voice nearly devoid of humor.

Engie huffed, looking back at his work, pulling his goggles back down. “Never needed to have one in the first place,” he grumbled back.

“I disagree,” Demo said a little sharply. “Love, I don’t know how many times I need to say it, but there’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”

“There just ain’t anything right with it, neither,” Engie muttered, starting to flush.

“You’re an attractive and intelligent man, Dell Conagher, and I’m lucky that I get to date you,” Demo said firmly.

“I’m half as wide as I am tall and balding, Tavish DeGroot,” Engie replied impatiently.

“Doesn’t very well damn matter, because I think you’re a feckin’ stud for it,” Demo snapped. “What’s weight got to do with anything in practicality, love?”

“It doesn’t bother you that you can’t lift me up to hug me?” Engie pointed out.

Demo stood up abruptly. “That’s a bloody challenge if I ever heard one, Conagher, pencil down and on your feet.”

Engie immediately began to protest. “You’ll hurt yourself trying, darlin’, don’t you dare,” he said quickly as Demo rounded the table.

“Didn’t nary ask a question, Conagher, I said on your feet,” Demo said, twice as demandingly, and Engie hesitantly obliged.

And to his surprise, Demo first pulled his goggles off from over his head, then put them and his hardhat on the desk next to them. Then, in one smooth motion, he hefted Engie under both arms and lifted him into the air, kissing him soundly on the mouth once they were eye-to-eyes.

Admittedly, the sudden departure from the ground startled him, made him lean forward, clutching at Demo’s shoulders with both hands as if to catch himself, surprised at the way the difference in height seemed to dramatically change the feeling of their chests pressing together. And for a moment, he felt less embarrassed by the feeling of Demo’s firm chest and stomach against his own softer one, instead left dizzy and a little giddy at the ease with which a Demo had lifted him off the ground, and idly enjoying the way Demo’s stubble felt against his face.

They broke apart with a smack, a sound similar to a jar opening, and Demo smirked at him for a second, joy glittering in his eye for a moment until he lowered Engie back to stand firmly on both feet.

“Any further questions, Toymaker?” he asked, full of a cheeky confidence, and Engie found himself struck dumb by it, simply shaking his head for a second until his brain stopped short-circuiting and words came back to him.

“Not at all, you were right,” he replied. “You were right.”

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

TF2 gift for @sxpaiscia​

Written rapidly, in chat, after a long period of lost creativity; may not be great. Demo/Solly x 2     |  AO3 Rating: Explicit

Title: Pur-pulled Together

Darkness swirls through the room, faint light illuminates for but a second as lightning flashes outside.

Everything is hazy, indistinct and tinged with the dizzy haze settling over his barely-conscious mind. The hard concrete beneath his knees bites cruelly through the thick fabric of his breeches.

His helmet slides forward incrimentally as Solly shifts, trying to make out the location. His hands throbbed slightly, discomfort radiating from his wrists, bound together as they were.

Wriggling against the haphazard bonds, Solly snapped back to awareness; someone had taken the time to drag him into this secluded location, bind his hands behind him, and bind his arms to his sides. Yet... they had not thought to gag him?

Aha! A strategical error!

As he sucked in a deep breath to sound the alarm, the burgeoning cry choked quietly in his throat at the realisation he was not alone. Another body rocked into his, struggling to free their hands.

It was the sudden loud, heavily-accented cursing exploding between them that helped the mercenary to poinpoint his fellow captive.

"Demo?" Jane asked, dropping his voice lower to whisper, "...Tavish?"

Lightning captured the sudden jerk of Demo's head, face swinging to find the speaker. It was then Solly saw that Tavish's eyepatch had slipped across his face to the other side; effectively blinding the man. No wonder he reacted so strongly!

"Ach, yes it's me laddie... seems we're in a right pickle here." HE wriggled unfairly broad shoulders as if to make a point of how ver ymuch doomed the pair of them were.

"Now, now Private there's no room for talk like that! We must merely out-think the enemy, use a pincer maneuvre, strategically advance to the rear when possible!"

Tavish couldn't contain the small chuckle that escaped. "Of course you'd be able to make escaping sound like a battle plan, Jane me lad..."

They lapsed into silence, the real question finally making its way into their minds.

"So... I'm assuming that this here isn't the prelude to some degree of kinky shennaigans you were too timid to bring up to me at home base, right?" Tavish asked, the beautiful clever bastard that he was. Jane felt he was never going to live down the last time he'd unorthodoxically brought up a minor turn-on with Tavish in an unusual manner... but, in Jane's defence... he was a very hands-on man.

"That's a Negatory, Private! We are in hostile territory..."

"Oh, how'd ye know that, laddie? There's no light down here." Demo retorts.

"Because there's a big BLU symbol on the wall, I saw it last time the lightning flashed."

"...ah, alright then."

For a few seconds the room filled with the sound of two men thinking hard about how to free themselves from an exceptionally bizarre situation. The occasional harsh breaths and rustling clothing of someone testing their bonds.

"I can't seem to remember how we got here..." Tavish says, grunting with the effort of trynig to slip a wrist free. "One minute I was sticky jumping and the next, crack... thought I was for respawn... but now I'm here."

"Well, that's-..." and Solly stopped, because his own memoris were similar. One minute he was cackling maniacally, plummeting down towards the horrified BLU Scout, and the next... pain, sound, darkness...

"Mmm, I'm guessing ye can't recall either, hey?" Demo asks, wriggling over in Jane's general direction so their shoulders touched. Like a little island of safety amidst the sea of darkness they were lost in.

"...for reasons of national security I can neither confirm or deny these allegations..." Solly responds, and is definitely Not Pouting because REal Men Don't Pout. He liked the enemy you could see... because you can fight it. Being taken out by a sneak attack, utterly dishonourable tactic!

Tavish's lips brush his cheek and plant a kiss on the side of his nose. "There, there, love... I cannae see you, but it's the best I can do. Looks like we just need to stay calm and wait for answers, aye?"

"Aye... I mean, Affirmative, Private." the slightly-mollified Soldier responds. He settles a little closer to Demo, body heat bouncing between the two in this cold, quiet place.

"I'm guessing that you're a wee bit confused about this whole mess?" Came a far-too-familiar tone, so very like Tavish's and yet... not. "That's my fault for not wrangling my military man a little better, hope ye can find a way to forgive that little oversight."

"The deployment of my military might was too powerful for these foes, Lieutenant Demo." A contemptuous tone sneered, from somewhere nearby.

The lights flickering on near blinded Solly, too bright too soon. A growl builds in his throat at the sight of their captors... BLUs.

"Jane...?" Tavish whispers, and Solly turns to find the man just as much of a mess as he himself felt.

"BLUs, the Demo and Soldier. Looks like we're in a POW camp..."

"Och, nay... ye're in the BLU basement, don't be so dramatic!" BLU Demo chuckles, waving a hand  as he came forwards to take stock of them. Noticing Tavish's issue, the enemy deftly moved the eyepatch to the right location and grinned. "How do I look, laddie?"

Blinking his eye rapidly, Tavish grinned. "Like I haven't gotten around to killing you yet, but don't worry yourself... I'll make time."

"Oh, I like him..." BLU Soldier informs BLU Demo in a loud whisper. The latter pats him on the shoulder, as the pair smile to one another.

"What sick game are you playing here, you-... you-... you COMMUNIST HIPPIES?!" Jane snarls, moving painfully on his knees so his body was between the BLUs and Tavish. Let them take him first... give Demo a chance to escape.

With a thunk, something hit the floor and slid across to the pair. "Now, I think there's been a misunderstanding somewhere along the way... probably because my laddie here got the drop on you're boyo there. Damn fine strike with the shovel... mid-air too! Couldn't be prouder."

The smart retort died in Solly's throat as his opposite on the BLU team blushed, helmet tipping down as if to hide it; before the impulsive mercenary pressed a hasty kiss to the BLU Demo's cheek. Things... were sliding into place.

Solly was a passionate man, a caring man, a slightly unhinged man if you believed Medic's reports... but not ever really awarded the title of Clever man. Tavish knew this was wrong... Jane was smart about practical things; and with the exception of Sun Tzu;s Art of War, Jane rarely cared for things of a philosophical nature.

But it was clear that the puzzle pieces had clicked into place right now, and he was seeing the majority of the picture.

"You two... are like us." Jane said flatly, trying to work out how that factored into their current situation. "You worked together to ambush us... and get us here, trap us at BLU. But...why?"

BLU Demo rolls his eyes, mouth opening... before BLU Soldier cuts in sharply. "It was a strategic engagement to procure valuable assets from the enemy... for recreational and experimental use."

Jane frowned. Tavish... has a lightbulb moment, and began to laugh.

"Oh aye, so kidnapping us from battle and binding us up down here was easier than maybe asking if we'd be open to a little inter-team 'cooperation', hmmm?"

"Well, boyo, if we'd said 'Oh hey would you like to perhaps go fuck yourself and your boyfriend in the kinkiest way possible', do you think we could have gotten past 'go fuck yourself' without you sending us through respawn?" BLU Demo grinned.

Tavish nodded, considering. "Aye, fair point there. Now... is there any chance of you taking these here bindings away? I can barely feel my fingers, and I think I'd like a word with my laddie Jane first... not a decision I can make solo, if you ken."

He was somewhat shocked by how fast they had been released after that. There was a moment where both parties tensed, as if expecting someone to throw a punch... but nothing came.

Quietly, Tavish whispered, "Jane... I'm all for this odd little game, but do you-...?"

"YES." Jane added before he could even finish the question.The man's belt had hit the floor already, pants threatening to go down with it...

Tavish hid his face in a hand. He loved to hate Jane sometimes. All passion and little forethought...

BLU Demo motioned to the health pack on the floor, and Tavish snatched it up quickly. Before it could dissolve in his hands, he slapped it against Solly's nearest shoulder; healing him instantly. A smaller healthpack bounced against his own forehead before the bright healing power coursed through his own battered body.

"Told ye they'd get soppy and try tae save the other..." BLU Demo muttered to BLU Soldier, who slid some cash into a waiting palm. "Ahem, if you're all right as rain... perhaps we can take ye up to our room? Don't worry about the others, they're celebratin' victory in town... the big fella wanted to try the mexican restaurant there."

With a meaningful glance to Jane, a pointed grin at the half-hard erection tenting what remained of the man's pants, and a shrug... Tavish smiled at their 'captors'. "Lead the way... if you dare."

After tramping through the BLU base with a vague sense of deja vu, for the building was a reverse image of their own, the REDs were unceremoniously ushered through a doorway at the end of an oddly-silent corridor.

Solly stumbled slightly, eyes trying to catch another look at the interwoven class symbols on the door; he'd... been rather impressed, always wanted to try something like that for Tavish one day. Damn BLUs stealing his secret intelligence telepathically or something...

Tavish felt strong, familiar arms wrap about his torso from behind; pressing him against a chest similar to his own. Clever, calloused fingers teasing at any exposed flesh through the ragged attire, dancing at his throat as they trailed higher.

Hot breath gusts over his throat, so different to the way Jane felt against him... and yet, Tavish felt his skin tingling. HEat rising to dance along every nerve in response to this new situation... and pressed against his own firm buttocks, an answering surge of lust.

He ground back against it, gasping as the BLU nipped his throat in response, and they both laughed in an eerily similar voice. How strange to have someone new to your body... show such intimate knowledge, knowing where you liked to be touched to stir the flames of your own passion.

"I'm glad you seem to like this arrangement..." the BLU murmured, tone low and soothing as he pressed a trail of kisses up the dark column of Tavish's throat. He pauses, and they both glance towards their Soldiers, eyes drinking in the scene before them.

BLU slammed RED against the wall, rough and ready, helmets clanging as they crashed their mouths together in something that appeared like passionate warfare. Muscular hands that could deal death and pleasure so easily, fought to divest the other man of his attire first.

Clothing hit the floor rapidly, weaponry that perhaps should not bounce... did so, in their haste. They kissed like it was a battle, their hips rocked against one another in-... no, it can't be! Tavish stifled a laugh as he realised they were rutting against one another in marching step time. Oh, Jane... predictable, adorable, forever deliciously ridiculous. And... he was all Tavish's.

Except for in this moment, that is.

"Where did ye go, laddie? Am I not enough for ye..." teases his BLU opposite, hands unbuckling his belt and allowing it to fall away. Tavish turned to face the other man, slding his own hands up under the blue shirt with the same delicate finesse he used to craft his bombs.

Fingertips traced over each defined muscle, felt the stiff coarse hair of the man's chest as he helped the BLU to peel the shirt off. Just as the BLU undressed him in return.

Tavish took initiative, pressing his lips against the other man's first and bringing a hand up to cup the BLU at his nape. Mouth moving to press hot little kisses across the other man's firm jawline, feeling stubble graze at his sensitive lips in a way that would sting tomorrow. Yet he could not bring himself to care.

BLU Demo's hands found his waist, his hips, slipping down the seat of his pants to clench at taut buttocks below  and encourage the rocking motion they both enjoyed. Little sparks flaring before their good eyes when they aligned correctly.

Desperate for more, spurred on by their own lust-ridden Need to be closer, both Demos wrestled with one another's pants, forcing them down whilst locked at the mouth. Tounges dancing against one another, tantalising and promising more...

The garments hit the floor in a pile, and were forgotten. Tavish pressed his living mirror against the wall, adjusting his stance to allow the BLU to raise his thighs and clench them about the RED's own. The added support of the wall made the whole endeavour well-worth the earlier struggle.

His member throbbed, a dark column that curved upright against his abdomen. The need seemed to radiate between the near-identical men, shafts slicking together inexpertly... but easily enough, from the precum that continued to pearl between them.

Periodically, they snatched glances at their own partners, who were as loud as the Demos were silent. Both RED and BLU Soldier seemed determined to grind the other to orgasm first... jaws clenched, bodies shuddering from the onslaught of sensation, hips pistoning so firmly, so doggedly...

Tavish felt his member twitch at the sight, remembering how that stolid pumping determination felt when they were alone. Whether Soldier rode triumphant upon his lover's shaft, or slid deep within Demo until the man screamed his release at the  unrelenting march of pleasure... he was always thusly determined.

With a strange sense of desperate purpose that stole upon both men like an assassin in the darkness, the Demomen crashed their mouths together in fervour. Hips bucking wildly, cocks throbbing and grinding against one another as best they could; sweat slicked skin making wet little noises as they rutted relentlessly.

Tavish was panting, sweat was running into his eyes, but he was so turned on it was almost hard to think... a combination of the BLU Demo wrapped about him, the lusty sight Jane and the other created, and the sense of danger this whole situation presented. A sense of taboo... interteam fraternisation and all.

His skin tingled, anywhere his counterpart touched felt like trails of fire writhing beneath it; the slapping of their skin, the hitched breaths and moans, the shuddering exhalations by his ear as the other bit his lip to hold off. They both wanted to stay here, on the brink, as long as possible...

"I-..." he gasped, the heat pooling in his abdomen an inferno threatening to break its bonds.

"...aye!" BLU Demo managed in response, legs clinging to him all the tighter for it, hips meeting every thrust in a frantic race to the finish.

His legs were trembling, climax imminent, when BLU Demo came; tremors taking ahold of that firm, sculpted form as thighs clenched violently about Tavish. Stark spurts of hot, violently white cum splattered on their chests, smearing messily as they continued.

The sight of the other man's release broke the last fraction of control in Demo's body, and his own orgasm surged through him like a lightning strike. Tavish curled about his counterpart, teeth sharp where they bit into muscular flesh as he came; hips shuddering into convulsive thrusts as his release slicked their joined flesh.

BLU Demo ground back against him until the climax faded, until they were both a shuddering mess that needed the wall to hold them up. Tavish could not help but laugh airily, delighted and (for the moment) utterly spent.

The BLU released him to place his own feet on the ground, and grinning cheekily. "That was as grand as any explosion... good job, boyo."

"Same to ye, matey." Tavish shot right back, trying to catch his breath. A new partner was always an exhilarating, breathtaking experience, even if things went wrong. Still, this had been brilliant.

Feeling surer of himself by the second, Tavish stumbled over to drop to the bed, and the other man joined him a moment later. Their eyes, for between them they had one functional set, riveted on the sight of their lovers...

Both Soldiers were flushed to the tips of their ears, slightly shocked expression on their stoild faces; they each fisted the other's cock, pumping slowly now, for their members were momentarily spent.

In a moment of clarity, Tavish realised that the pair must have been watching the Demos climax with such intensity, they had yet to even realise they had also come. Ach, but what could you do with such big, beautiful, sensitive men...

He goes to nudge the BLU Demo, and meets the other's nudge halfway; he'd noticed too. Still,if the valiant stirring in his loins was any indication... the sight was just the thing to rekindle his spent passion.

"A fine lad you got there, boyo... wouldn't trade him for mine, but I was wonderin' if ye'd be willing to share him. Just for tonight, that is... see if I can show him that BLU does it better. What do ye think of that?"

Tavish couldn't hold back the laugh. "Aye, Jane's a fine lad and I love him, even when he does get strange ideas... but if he and your boyo are happy for it, I see no harm in showing your lad how real men please one another. The RED way." he teased right back.

Noticing the conversation, Jane and the BLU Soldier had decided to make their way to the bed as well; listening in with interest in nothing more than their helmets, the mixed essence of their own release coating their abdomens, hands and reinvigorating cocks. 

Jane watched Tavish, head tilted as if considering, before flashing a wide, smug grin. He was a man who loved a challenge, and Tavish could see the thirst in Jane’s eyes to prove to the BLU Demo once and for all... that RED was superior in all things. The BLU Soldier seemed to think the same, because he moved over to stand before Tavish, eyes scrutinising the mercenary from beneath the helmet.

“Looks like this maggot needs to learn that BLUs do everything better.” growls the oddly-familiar tone, as the muscular man climbs onto the bed. The BLU straddles Tavish’s lap, his reawakening cock slapping lewdly against the muscles of the demolition expert’s abdomen. 

There’s a strangely disconnected moment there, hanging in the air; the mannerisms, the body, the voice are all so painfully similar... and yet, they both know the other is not their lover. Just a similar version, so this is a body they have not touched, not explored or pleasured in any way... 

In short, a challenge.

The pungent stench of sweat and sex filled the room; almost dizzyingly so. Tavish’s hands reached out to press against the familiar flesh of the stranger before him, tracing muscles along the man’s arms, her chest, his abdomen. Tugging playfully at the happy trail in the way Jane always enjoyed... Like his hands had magnetised, Tavish found he could not pull them away, and with every little familiar movement, every quiet breathy response to his touch, certainty grew. This soldier was not Jane, but there was no doubt that the BLU was eager to experience this new mating with an equally familiar-stranger; that Tavish could please him, and be pleased in return.

He glanced into those piercing blue eyes, peering at him from under the blue-tinted helmet, and saw nothing but encouragement... and a hint of challenge. Tavish grinned, pulling the military mercenary closer so their mouths might finally meet; his tenacity and playful licks against the bulkier man’s bottom lip gaining Demo access into the hot cavern of BLU Soldier’s mouth.

Delving deeper with his questing tongue, he felt the other surge forwards, their bodies pressing close in a mess of cooling sweat and ejaculate. In the near future they would throw themselves into a shower cubicle to be rid of it, but for this moment it was only an afterthought. A dirty little thrill, one might say.

“Good lad...” Tavish murmurs, pulling back to glance over his shoulder at the other two; heart thundering a little faster when he sees the flushed, overstimulated expression of his Jane. BLU Demo had moved beyond foreplay now, the sneaky bastard had contrived to find some lubricant around here somewhere... from the soft hissing groan Jane made, that Tavish knew so intimately, it was clear he was at least two fingers deep.

“C’mon lad, they’re gettin’ ahead of us now, whatsay we show ‘em how it’s really done?” Tavish grins, patting BLU Soldier on the thigh to indicate they needed to rise. Moving around the bed, the RED winked at his BLU partner before patting the empty space. “Hop up here laddie, whatever position ye like best...”

In the periphery, BLU Demo was watching, along with Jane. Curious, but not willing to stop what they were doing at this time to intervene... still, it would be a tad hard to proceed without-... ah. BLU Soldier had pulled a small well-used tube from the internal pocket of his helmet; well, that’s definitely something he might need to mention to Jane for future notice.

BLU Soldier spread his thighs, pillowing his head on crossed arms as Tavish drizzled too-cool liquid into a palm; allowing bodyheat to warm the chill from it, before daring to use it. With a free hand, he traced little patterns down the length of the Soldier’s spine, enjoying the way this not-Jane seemed to enjoy it just as much as Tavish’s own partner. 

When it became obvious the other man’s attention was on the opposites, and not in fact paying all that much attention to the careful slicking of his entrance; it earned him a smack to one of those unfairly mucular cheeks, startling a yelp from the military mercenary. Tavish couldn’t help the grin that erupted, seems like both the Soldiers had more than just the physical similarities in common... for good measure, he spanked the opposite cheek with enough force to leave it glowing rosily in the dim light.

Tavish laved lubricant-slick fingers around the man’s hole, his free hand running over the muscular planes of BLU Soldier’s body, enjoying how different muscle groups shrank and danced under his touch. Finally, with a pointed glare from the BLU, Demo decided he had best move along or they might lose this particular challenge...

A finger tentatively breaching the Soldier, sliding in and out in a gentle rhythm amidst grumbles that ‘he was an army man, dammnit, a fist wouldn’t break him!’; waiting for that subtle tensing of muscles to ease. It may be a familiar routine, but Tavish wasn’t BLU Demo, and he had technically killed BLU Soldier a few dozen times in the last week alone... no surprise it took more than a few hot kisses to relax the enemy. Still, he added little twists, turns and brushes against the man’s prostate to provide some small reward for his patience in this.

By the time they had reached the third finger, a familiar sigh echoed across the room so pointedly that Tavish paused his ministrations. Jane was sinking, exquisitely, onto the BLU Demo’s cock with such a look of exhilaration and pleasure that Tavish’s cock throbbed headily from the scene. He could only assume the BLU Soldier felt the same, given how he clenched about the intruding fingers...

A shudder ran down the RED’s spine at this sensation, the hot sucking heat rushed straight to his member; leaving it bobbing heavy, aching, between his thighs. Somewhat cruelly, Tavish brushed the knuckles of his free hand down the length of BLU Soldier’s desperate, weeping cock; delighted at how it quivered and pulsed his lust at the merest hint that the need for release might be met.

“Are ye ready, boyo?” he breathes, bending over the other to whisper right into the helmeted man’s ear; heavy shaft grinding slickly between the muscular globes of BLU Soldier’s backside. “Feels like you are...”

“A-Affirmative, sir...” the man chokes, grinding back into the sensation with abandon; fingers fisting the bedclothes to stop himself begging.

Tavish couldn’t help but love a man like this, and pressed a soothing trail of kiss from nape to base of spine. Slicking his cock quickly, efficiently, and guiding it on a few glancing thrusts between those taut cheeks in a teasing manner; before lining the head of his saft with BLU Soldier’s entrance. 

Carefully, he pressed inward. They both exhaled loudly from the sensation of that hot, sucking hole clamping down around the head of Tavish’s cock; breathing heavily as the RED’s hands clamped tightly to the BLU’s muscular hips. Tavish inched deeper with small rocking motions that drew quiet hisses, curses and moans from the other; noting the small changes between this man and Jane.

BLU Soldier began to press back in encouragement, drawing deeper and faster; Tavish was only too pleased to comply. The pace grew wild, sending thrills of lightning up his spine as the sound of flesh slapping against sweaty flesh filled the room. Tavish pumped at the BLU’s cock, moaning at the way it made the Soldier’s insides clench at him desperately. 

His hands roamed further, running over the muscular back as Tavish murmured small compliments, instructions and unintelligible sounds of pleasure under his breath. Periodically his eyes fell on the lust-fuelled bodies moving together in oddly perfect accord across the bed, and it did nothng more than spur him on to delve deeper, go faster, find the angle that made his partner scream...

Every thrust forwards met the powerful grind of BLU Soldier’s hips, both shuddering from the inexplicable sensation; Tavish mindful even in this state, to aim for the man’s secret pleasure spot. Let the BLU know what it was like to go boneless, as Jane often did... or did for Tavish, on the odd occasion... after a good bout of lovemaking.

Movement caught his eye. BLU Demo had rolled them both over, so he was now atop Jane and pouding away at this more fortuitous angle; Jane’s fingers clenched the bedsheets tightly, mouth open in a soundless exhalation of wordless delight. 

There was a moment... just a fraction of a second really, when his eyes met the BLU Demo’s... and a single thought echoed between the pair. Their bodies slowing in their thrust as the men receiving glanced back in mild confusion, awaiting explanation.

“Shift along laddie, seems you and my Jane there could perhaps enjoy this a mite bit more if we all play our part...” Tavish said conspiratorially, and they moved a few centimetres to the right, while their opposites moved to the left; aligning the pair perfectly.

BLU Soldier, impaled upon Tavish’s throbbing cock, now found himself repositioned over Jane; head aligned with the RED’s desperate cock, and vice versa. Jane wasted no time in darting out his clever tongue to tease at the weeping slit, precum dribbling  onto his face like rain; and the BLU Soldier licked a tantalising stripe down Jane’s cock before sucking at the head.

The ripples of these new pleasure diversions echoed through all four men, and both Demos began to thrust again. BLU Demo flashed a grin, and Tavish could not help but return it; the cheeky bastard!

Pleasure lit up his spine like christmas lights, every movement seemed to push him closer to the edge; but he refused to climax until this BLU Soldier fell into his own release. His sack slapped lewdly against the muscular buttocks in a driving staccato pace that you could almost dance to; feeling the other tensing almost as tightly as his own balls were. 

“C’mon lad... that’s the way, come for me now. Come...” he encouraged as the the man’s thighs began to tremble, as BLU Soldier’s insides clenched erratically around Tavish’s shaft, and Jane swallowed deeply against the rush of come flooding his throat in frantic spurts.

BLU Soldier let out an unintelligible gurgle of release around Jane’s cock, before the other Soldier was climaxing too; filling the BLU’s mouth to capacity. The sights, the sounds, the sensation of trying to thrust through such erratic clutching at his shaft when he was so, so cery close...

Without thinking, Tavish jerked forwards and in one fluid motion, grabbed his opposite number by the nape, crashed their mouths together in a clumsy clash of teeth and tongue... and screamed his release into that waiting mouth. His body shuddered in convulsions of pleasure as his cock throbbed deeply within BLU Soldier, hips thrusting erratically as a golden haze seemed to descend.

When clarity next returned, Tavish dropped momentarily boneless against BLU Soldier’s shaking spine; breathing deeply before he had the strength to withdraw and help the other to sprawl on the bed beside him. Jane and the BLU Demo following suit. 

Tavish reached out to tangle his fingers with Jane’s. BLU Demo and Soldier mirrored them.

“That was a fine spot of lovemaking we did just then, boyo.”

“Aye.”

“Affirmative.”

“Negatory.”

There was a worried pause, as the other three assumed something had gone wrong... but their eyes fell upon the tired but still somehow oddly smug grin Jane gave. “The exercise was performed with exemplary tactical precision, but it is important that we run these covert missions with different members of the platoon regularly.”

Tavish squints at his lover. “Jane are you saying you want to do this again?”

“Affirmative.”

“...Aye, I could live with that.”

From the grins they received from BLU Demo and Soldier... it might just be on the cards.

“Just... no more kidnapping, aye?”

BLU Soldier grumbled, but BLU Demo gave him a poke. “Aye lad, we agree. Now can ye shut up, I think I just came my brains out, and I need a minute...”

“Ach, do you hear that, Jane? These BLUs have no stamina!” Tavish goads.

He is swiftly struck with a pillow.

------

The End

[annoyed-tampon-blog]

Sniper Goes Camping- 2

Sniper was going to drive this van off a cliff. He swore it. He was going to tie up Scout with the spare rope he had in the back and ditch the van and let it drive full speed off and over a cliff. Then he’d be in peace and quiet after his car blew up in an (EPIC!) explosion. But then he’d be minus Scout AND his van. So he decided, multiple times, to not do it. Losing the camper wasn’t worth it if he had no way back home. That and killing a team member outside of base wasn’t worth the loss of his hard earned job. And it’s barely even been an hour since they left Teufort.

“C'mon, man! This sucks! This ain’t even music!” Scout complained about everything, from the lack of air conditioning, the bad taste in Sniper’s music (which, the Sniper had, a limit to a few genres) and anything Scout’s big mouth can pick up and push out words.

Sniper just growled as he continued to look straight at the road, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel. They were heading out of a town for a quick pit stop, anything to get Scout to shut up. After a greasy pretzel and two hot dogs, things were quiet for about, oh… ten minutes?

“My car, my radio,” Sniper replied through gritted teeth. To pass his anger out to something else, he “headshot” his bobble head on the dash. The more Scout whined and bitched, the faster and sharper Sniper flicked the bobble head.

Shortly after, Scout finally managed to keep his mouth shut once he started looking around the van. An apricot air freshener that had long since expired was hanging on the rear-view mirror, an empty ashtray on the mantle (who knew Sniper smoked?) and the bobble head that Sniper was flicking, which Sniper started to give a break from since Scout started to shut up.

“So…” Scout started, thinking about what to say. He actually didn’t really know a lot of his teammates, but they know plenty about Scout, since he was always boasting about himself. “What made ya become an assassin?”

“Well, that’s uh… a good question,” Sniper said, a little bit surprised that somebody such as Scout asked. “Well, it’s challenging work. It’s out of doors. I guarantee you’ll not go hungry. High pay, too. I’d say my job is worth it. ‘Cause at the end of the day, long as there’s two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead. But why did I want to become one? I guess because I have the balls to do the dirty work for somebody else that’s too scared to do it. Of course my parents don’t approve of it. Dad sayin’ I’m a crazed gunman. I’m an assassin, there’s a difference. One’s a mental job and the other’s sickness.”

“So, some rich asshats that wanted somebody dead calls ya up all because ya throw piss?” Scout said as he raised a brow.

Sniper growled a little bit. “No. It’s because it’s better than workin’ on the farm gettin’ my family nowhere in life. At least with Mann Co. I don’t have to worry about other blokes gettin’ my head as revenge all because I killed a few bigwigs back in the day.”

“Wait, you have other guys after ya?” Scout asked, his interest piped up.

“Who knows, mate.” Sniper shrugged as he turned the van onto a highway ramp. “Might still be lookin’ for me after all these years or, to them, I’m off the face of the earth.”

._._._.

Back at the base, Soldier was bellowing and barking orders at his teammates. Today was a “Surprise Drill” as he screamed out earlier, but training was anything but “surprising” as a few teammates snuck out from the “drill”. Spy cloaked and went on his way to see a particular lover in Boston; Medic went back into his lab to tend to his doves (and maybe some experimentations of some sorts); and Demoman passed out and took a snooze on the training grounds. The only ones that had any interest in this “Surprise Drill” were the Engineer, Pyro and Heavy. Heavy only agreed to participate, to make “Soldier shut big mouth worse than Scout’s” while Pyro chased butterflies around the field and Engineer took out a remote that brought forth robotic dummies he made.

“Solly, I thought we’d have some fun and try out my new test dummies. The one’s made of straw that you made is nice and all, but they don’t last long against Pyro’s flare guns or Sasha. That and it’s a pain to sew patches into them once their "guts” spill out. We can dress them up and use them to scare away the crows in the gardens,“ Engineer said as the robots stood in a line, ready for their command.

"Those blasted crows, always eating our crops. Alright, ladies! After training we’ll get the crows crapping their pants once we get these maggots fit and ready for battle! Never again will they think to eat our corn!” Soldier turned his fist to the sky and shook it. “DO YOU HEAR ME?! YOU BASTARDS WILL LEAVE OUR AMERICAN RAISED CORN ALONE!”

Pyro showed their excitement with rapid hand clapping and making a noise that sounded like giggling and even bounced up and down in place. Engineer got Soldier and the bots, a few other Soldier robots, ready for training. Engie pressed a button and the Soldier bots roared to life. Soldier smirked and cracked his knuckles, drew his shovel and screamed, racing toward the bots, a mighty shovel over his head.

TWACK! Went the shovel against a metal head. The impact left a dent in the bot, but it didn’t stop. The bot also took a turn to attack, punching Soldier straight in the gut, causing Soldier to double over, curling into a ball whilst standing. But he didn’t back down; Soldier straightened up, grabbed the bot by the head and screamed:

“HUTTUH!” NECK SNAP! went the robot’s head, sparks flickering from where the wires were ripped off. Soldier drop kicked the robot’s head in victory, accidently hitting Demoman, who started to wake up from his drunken slumber, causing him to pass out from the impact a moment after. Pyro took Demo to see Medic as Engineer regretted letting Soldier train with the bots. Neck snapping and bolts flying everywhere. Oh, well. At least Engie can test out that new magnet to find those stray screws and bolts later.

“Heavy is next, da?” Heavy asked as he looked to Engineer.

“Yeah, you’re up, Heavy. Lemme just shut down the rest of the bots and you’ll be next,” Engineer replied. He shut down the remaining robots, while Soldier was chomping on one of their arms like a mad dog, and let Heavy choose which bot to train against.

Heavy chose to deal with agility, as his size made him a tad slow in that department, so he let Engineer send out a Scout bot. Heavy wanted to get better at dealing with the faster foes, especially because of his size and stature, and to get “revenge” on Scout for being such a nuisance. Heavy cracked his neck and knuckles, loosening his body and getting ready to attack. Engineer pressed a button and the Scout bot beeped to life. Immediately the Scout bot dodged Heavy’s punch, which landed close to the ground, and smacked Heavy upside the head, like how a typical Scout would.

“MISSED ME!” cried the bot, who ran circles around Heavy.

Heavy rubbed his head a little and growled. He cried out and continued to punch, but all he got was air as his foe. The Scout bot was quick and agile, barely skipping a beat. But a misstep caused the bot to stumble, letting Heavy get a punch in the chest for the bot, who was sent flying into a wall nearby. The robot flinched a little, tried to get up, but found himself stuck in the wall. Heavy walked over and smirked as he crossed his arms, looking down at his opponent in victory.

“Nice one, Heavy. Wanna go another round?” Engineer asked, getting ready to call out another able bot.

“Nyet. Heavy will go tend to Sasha,” Heavy replied as he headed back to base. He waved to Engineer as he walked back, a look of pride on his face.

Engineer shrugged a little and cleaned up the mess (and tried to get Soldier to stop chomping on a dislodged arm before he ruined his teeth further) from the training. Carefully, he got the bots he was able to salvage into a trolley and rolled it back to his lab. A few pieces were still good, so they could be recycled to make a toaster or a microwave while those that were too damaged were melted into Scrap. The rest were left alone or replaced, as to save the bots and Engineer’s time to not make more than need be.

“Mighty fine work,” Engineer nodded to himself. “Might wanna adjust the fluctuator on them real quick, since some of 'em might have gotten dislodged.” Engineer continued to muse to himself on the bot’s conditions, whistle a tune here and there as he set to work.

After a few hours of work, Engineer removed his goggles and helmet and wiped his face with a clean rag. “I wonder how Sniper is holdin’ up with Scout?” Just after he asked that, the phone rang. Engineer went to the phone and picked it up, wiping his hands with the rag. “Yello’?”

“Hey, mate.”

“Hey, Sniper! Ya’ll make it to the camp yet?” Engineer smiled when he realized who the voice was.

“Er… not quite. Y'see, the van’s engine blew…”

“Really? How?” Engineer asked, curious as he helped Sniper put in a new engine right before they left.

“Let’s just say… a few "old friends” came to visit.“ Sniper replied unsurely. "We took care of 'em, but we’re kinda stuck in B.F.E. Luckily we made it to a town with a garage before the engine totally gave out, so Scout and I are gunna stay here for a few hours and head back on the road once she’s all fixed up. Shouldn’t take too long, maybe two hours or so.”

Sniper leaned against the wall, phone in hand, as he looked behind him. He and Scout went to a diner that was close by, so they would wait and have a bite to eat. Scout was at their booth, stuffing his face with fresh coconut cream pie, as he flirted with their waitress, who looked around thirty or so, and didn’t look too amused by Scout’s advances. Sniper ignored Scout as the Waitress splashed Scout with a glass of water over a sexual remark and went back to the conversation with Engie.

“How’s the rest of the guys there since we’ve been gone? Who won the bet so far?”

“Nobody yet. Well, Demo lost his bet of Scrumpy, so now he’s sayin’ Scout’ll be back within a day. Medic says Scout’ll come back with rabies he can treat with a new injection he’s been makin’ and Pyro says he’d have a lot of fun on the trip. At this point it’s anyone’s guess. Is Scout behavin’?”

“Scout? Behaves? 'Course not. He just got splashed by the waitress over his "moves”. Now I gotta leave an extra nice tip for the inconvenience.“ Sniper sighed. "The sooner we get the camp the sooner I can relax.”

“What about them "friends”?“ Engineer asked. "They still around ya think?”

“Who knows, mate. Probably. And I wouldn’t be surprised if there’d be more. But.” Sniper straightened up as he crossed his free arm over his chest. “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Got some MedKits and whatnot so we should be alroight. Anyways, I better go before Scout gets into more trouble.”

“Alrighty then. See ya in a few days, Sniper.”

“Cheers, mate. See ya later.”

Sniper hung up the phone and went back to Scout, who was now dabbing his soaked shirt with some napkins from the dispenser at their table. Sniper sat down across from Scout and looked over the menu. He ignored Scout as best as he could while he looked over the lunch specials. He might just settle for a cup of coffee or three and have a bit of toast, to be honest.

“Sheesh, I tell her she’s got a nice bod for a single mom and she splayshes me!” Scout grumbled as he continued to dab at his shirt and wipe his face.

“Maybe she’s already got a husband.” Sniper replied with s shrug.

“Yeah, I didn’t see no ring on her finger.” Scout sighed heavily and looked over the menu. “So, what we gunna do if those guys come back? Who were they anyways?”

“They’re probably some bigwig’s henchmen or somethin’ to get revenge. Who knows. But what we’ll do is we’ll get 'em if they mess with us again. I guarantee that.”