#so if you don't like dates then without romance repulsion the reaction is more i don't like that thanks than eww no make it stop

[demiromantic-daily]

I think I am not as horrified by the prospect of going on a date as I used to be. I think that is good.

[owmylasagna-blog]

So, what's the real appeal in Ed/May? I see that this popular, but over all the show I see aproximately zero positive moments/development between them, including in the finale. Nothing positive, I can't think of anything that wasn't one-sided or outright negative. And I think Ed deserves faaar better than her; I don't see him just forgeting all she made and sudenly falling in love with her (fanfics where they're just dating out of nowhere specially irks me) without any explanation or development.

The appeal seems just ''pair the dumb/goofy ones'' (why not Ed/Nazz? Or Ed/Rolf? Or even Ed/Jonny?)

Honestly, I'm under the impression people only ship it as a Beta Couple for Edd/Eddy, and nothing else more. Your reasoning?

Wow I’m actually pretty glad I got this question because I’ve had a half baked post on this very subject that’s been sitting in my drafts for weeks. Now I have a reason to actually share it.

And from the jump, no I don’t ship Ed and May solely because I’m an eddeddy shipper. I actually see some interesting potential here! I also ship Ed wildly because he’s just a lover boi in my mind. Perhaps even most wildly out of the entire cast of the show: I have the receipts for dabbling in edrolf and ednazz but I can really only imagine those pairings as little flings.

So what is it about edmay that works?

Of the three Kanker sisters, May actually seems to be the only one to genuinely have a crush on her preferred Ed. It goes beyond the typical taunting and harassing her sisters subject the other Eds to. The intro to Hanky Panky Hullabaloo is a prime example of this: May makes a mushy valentine and Marie and Lee make fun of her for it. Afterwards the two talk about May behind her back: “Now we know who got mom’s genes.” “Hormones”. I think it's an interesting summary of how the sisters have differing perspectives on relationships and how they think about boys/men. While Marie and Lee are more disenchanted by romance, they see May as more naive and prone to getting emotionally attached in the same way their mom probably falls for one disappointing man after another. Anyway, the point is that I think May cares whether Ed reciprocates those feelings while Marie and Lee don’t with Eddy or Edd.

CUTE!

Now we have Ed’s reactions to May. In the earlier seasons, he doesn’t seem as averse to the Kanker harassment. Honestly sometimes he’s sort of enjoying it or just not bothered at all. I don’t think Ed generally would show his interests or feelings in a very typical way. Actually the most damning evidence that he might actually be attracted at all to May or just girls period are the moments where he is acting the most repulsed by them. We are talking about a 12 year old after all, probably a bit panicked by some new hormones and feelings about “icky girls”: to me, it reads as the early stages of immature boyish attraction.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t include at least one reference to the Ed-cyclopedia that is Kevin Lordi (as per usual), who got the scoop that the writers toyed with the idea of making Ed and May canon in the earlier seasons, even scraped S2 episode where they are caught kissing in the bushes being the basis for HPH (Lordi 2017, 2018).

So what is in this ship for them? I really like exploring this ship because of many of the parallels I see in their characters. I think it’s safe to say that Ed and May are respective outliers in their trios: May being the younger punching bag to her older sisters, Ed sort of being off on his own planet or plane of existence from Edd and Eddy most of the time. I could see both naturally branching out on their own while the remaining two are prone to buddying up. Other similarities, as you mention, also make them a cute pair: they are goofy, a bit ditzy, naturally kind hearted, a bit off beat, a tad (or a lot) gross. Nothing wrong with that!

Both come from pretty bleak home lives, lacking in support or parental nurturing. For this reason, you see them often compensating by being the nurturing types themselves: Ed being the protective big brother to Sarah and his two best pals, May often playing out a maternal fantasy (more than once she plays mommy and baby in the show; coddling Jimmy in BPS). Now just think of a relationship where these two get together!!! Having an outlet for compassion AND on the receiving end of it. I think they have the potential to have a very sweet relationship ripe for healing and personal growth.

I see them coming to appreciate each other with a bit of time and maturity, maybe striking up a friendship first before actually dating later in their teens or early adulthood. Oddly enough I make lots of parallels between Edd and May as well and could easily imagine some aspects of Edd and Ed’s friendship manifesting in edmay. The biggest factor being what I said about May having this maternal care-taker drive. Seeing as the Kanker sisters just about raised themselves and had to grow up really fast, you end up with a very “parentified” child. And if Edd isn’t the poster child for being a parentified kid I don’t know what… Anyway, in the same way that Edd acts as a stand-in parental figure to Ed I think May would quickly take on a similar role. I’m NOT endorsing this dynamic as 100% positive!!! I think it would be complicated! But it’s an interesting ship dynamic nonetheless and I’m trying to explore that in my aged up AU now.

[bi-lesbian]

i thought bi lesbians were made up but your explanation tag changed my mind :) im still just a bit confused on the *bi/pan with a preference for fem people* definition. for people who ID that way, would they still have sex with/date men? and what's the difference between that and non-lesbian bisexuality? sorry if my questions don't make sense. i just haven't found many good resources on the topic and want to learn more. thank you for educating me and others

im glad to hear that :D! im happy to be able to spread info on the identity so more ppl can understand it :3!

also for that definition, it depends on the person! theyre probably likely to not be attracted to/date/have sex with guys that often, but its different by person.

i myself use that definition as one of the reasons i use the term! but for my specific case, i tend to not really be that interested in dating guys (excluding sex completely here since im sex repulsed and ace) even despite being attracted to a small few- because being attracted to someone doesnt neccesarily mean you always want to persue romance/sex with them! i cant really see myself dating any guys in the future, since i very rarely am attracted to any and usually (or never?) am not attracted enough to want to date them. im somewhere on the arospec scale, so i think it probably has to do with more aesthetic attraction than actual romantic attraction :o hope that makes sense!

and honestly, bi lesbian is just used to have a more specific label for some that feel more comfortable/accurate with it, so anyone falling under any of the bi lesbian definitions can still choose to identify as just bi! the difference is just a matter of preference for term! and generally just if theyre a bi woman/nb they can use bi lesbian if theyd like- bc lesbian historically included bi women until biphobes started pushing them out of the term. the meaning has never fully changed bc theres always been bi women who still use the lesbian label. and i dont find it very fair to call bi women lesbophobes and continue to keep them out of the label simply bc the "definition has changed" when it was biphobes that pushed that change to begin with

i hope that all made sense !! and thank you for trying to understand and everything, that means a lot to me ;w; its really disheartening when ppl tend to turn down stuff like this without even trying to talk to ppl in the identity to understand it, its just so closeminded and not good imo to do that for like.. Anything. its not fair to turn down/hate on stuff just bc ur initial reaction is its bad/weird/dumb/etc. so when ppl do make the effort to learn and understand even if they end up not really getting it or something makes me really happy :'3

[deserted-americanmaiden]

Signs of Lesbian Compulsory Heterosexuality [Part 1: Men]

"Attraction" To Men

Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities. 

You have a ‘list’ of impossible criteria in your head that a man must meet for you to be attracted to him, and if you ever meet someone who matches all the criteria you just add more impossible standards.

Constantly testing your attraction to men. You pick one or more conventionally attractive men in the room, and try to force yourselfself to be attracted to them.

You like the idea of being with a man, but any time a man makes a move on you you get incredibly uncomfortable.

You do not like the reality of men, only the idea of being with men.

You may like the idea of being in a relationship with a man, but can always pick out a reason to not want to date any man that is interested in you or any man suggested to you. These reasons are sometimes reasonable, but often insignificant (i.e. “I don’t like guys who do their hair like that, he has a weird mole on his face, he’s too tall”).

You can fantasize about men and find men aesthetically attractive, but thinking about realistically being with a man makes my stomach churn.

Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him.

You like getting attention from men and being validated in your attractiveness, but the moment it goes from attention to an interaction (i.e. from flirting to asking out) you start panicking.

Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed him before she was interested in him).

You view relationships with men as a chore, burden, or just something you must deal with.

Confusing a strong emotional connection/dependency with a man for romantic feelings, can be due to mental illness.

You get crushes on just about every guy you’re friendly with, because there’s really no difference between friendships and crushes to you.

You feel like you could theoretically be attracted to men (you may even have fantasies about them), but in practice you never have any feelings for them.

Picking a guy at random to be attracted to.

Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them.

You’re far more certain about being attracted to women than you are about being attracted to men.

Only/mostly being into guys who are gender nonconforming or feminine in some way.

Alternatively, the guys you like are always a hypermasculine man’s man who embodies everything about manliness.

You want to date/fall in love/get married/have kids/etc with a guy, but the guy you dream about is never specific and may as well be a cardboard cutout.

All of your fantasies around men are always with faceless, nameless men; the more realistic the fantasy and the more details about your partner you invent, the less excited and into the fantasy you become.

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with. (Such as teachers, married or older men, and men that live far away).

Similar to only crushing on famous or fictional men, the men you like may be gay or in relationships as they are also unattainable (if they are in a relationship, you may even start to wonder if it’s actually the woman you have a crush on).

You lose all attraction or get extremely uncomfortable if there are any implications that they might like you back. You get deeply uncomfortable and lose all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate.

You mistake the desire for male approval as attraction. You don’t necessarily want a relationship with men, but you want men to want a relationship with you.

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them. Confusing your anxiety around men for “butterflies” or being flustered.

Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them.

You wish you weren’t attracted to men / You wish you were a lesbian.

Relationships With Men

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man.

Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image.

You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a man, but you just aren’t / everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what.

Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”.

Thinking you’re commitment-phobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it.

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness.

Your relationships with men are devoid of passion.

Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify.

Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic.

Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually.

Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends.

Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals.

Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless.

After a breakup, missing having a relationship more than you miss the specific guy you were with.

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone.

Sex And Intimacy With Men

Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted.

OR: preferring to ‘be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore.

Having to be drunk or high to have sex with men.

The idea of kissing, cuddling, dating and/or having sex with men is really scary/anxiety inducing, and the idea of doing any of those things with women isn’t (or is noticeably less scary).

Your fantasies about men still somehow turn out to be a little "gay". Maybe you’re penetrating him, you don’t have to look at his face/don’t want to look at his face, you want a threesome with another woman, he’s very feminine, etc. It might be a “straight fantasy” but you’ve altered it in a way straight people might not be totally interested in.

Thinking because you don't like/pursue sex with men you must be asexual. Or vice versa with romance for men.

Your fantasies about men give you intense distress or anxiety. They could be intrusive thoughts, forms of self-harm, or otherwise.

When you think about guys, you think about all the things that you could tolerate doing with them (dating, kissing, sex, marriage) but always in terms of what you could force yourself to do, not what you want to do.

Being around guys that are interested in you gives you intense anxiety.

Feeling weird/wrong calling your boyfriends pet names or showing them pda, but gladly showing your girl friend’s pda.

Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred.

Using sex with men as a form of self-harm.

You don’t have much of an emotional reaction to kissing or being otherwise physical with a man, or you even dislike/hate it.

Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason).

Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it.

Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him.

Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing.

Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to.

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