#so i'm not all that emotionally invested in them yet

[miwiheroes]

Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love + Stranger Things Couples

This is very different from my other posts on here, but I was inspired by @hawkinsschoolcounselor to make this. Just wanted to give this tag some of my own insight from a Psychology student's perspective, specifically talking about the Triangular Theory of Love (TTL) in relation to couples (whether they are platonic or romantic or not) on Stranger Things. I'm not here to say that the Duffer Brothers specifically took inspiration for their couples from this theoretical model, just that this is one of the many theoretical models of relationships that can be applied to how people view love. Therefore, a writer would have written real life people's experiences of love into the show.

(Just want to quickly add -- this theory was made in the 80s. The most common criticism of this model is that it is made on the basis of westernised ideals of love. It also does not take asexuality or aromanticism into account.)

First of all, an Introduction to the TTL:

Imagine yourself a triangle. Every triangle has three sides. Each side of this triangle is an essential component to love. It’s the combination of these elements that creates the different types of love we experience.

First, we have Intimacy, which isn't your classic physical intimacy that you know (e.g. hugging, kissing). It's basically the emotional side of love. Can you tell this person your deepest secrets? Can you trust them? Do you two have similar interests? Can you have a laugh? Intimacy is what makes us feel understood and accepted for who we are.

Next, is Passion, which is the fire, the spark, the physical attraction that ignites the magnetic pull between two people. The chemistry, the electricity, you could say. We feel this at the beginning of most relationships, that intense desire to be with someone, emotionally and physically.

Lastly is Commitment. This is the decision to stay, to continue even if something changes. This can be for various reasons like investments you've made in the relationship, the promises you've made to someone.

Each of these components are associated with a certain type of love.

Nonlove -- This relationship has neither intimacy, commitment, or passion. You are acquaintances with this person.

Liking -- This relationship has intimacy only. This is a friendship, without commitment or passion that a romantic relationship has.

Infatuation -- Only has passion. It's exciting, overwhelming, but there's no emotional connection, trust, or commitment.

Empty -- Only has commitment. The relationship is stable and safe, but has no real connection or passion that it may once have had or never had.

Companionate -- This relationship his intimacy and commitment, but it does not have passion. This could be a very close friend, or a couple that may be in love but do not have physical attraction to one another.

Romantic -- You are intimate with this person and have passion with them, but you are not yet committed. For example, a partner that you've been dating for a short time.

Fatuous -- The presence of passion and commitment, but without intimacy. For example, two people who barely know each other can get married super quick on a whim.

Consummate -- Is the 'ideal' love. This is the complete, balanced love we all strive for. It’s a mix of deep emotional connection, physical attraction, and a strong, lasting commitment.

So how does this relate to Stranger Things?

I do believe we can sort of apply these definitions of love to many different duos in ST, and see what this means for them in the future. Love can also be different on either side, for example, on side of the duo may see passion in their love, while the other side sees none.

BTW you may notice that I'm not going to include Byler or Mileven in this first list, I will diagnose them after all the other duos in the show. So scroll down if you want to only see them.

Nonlove

This would be a duo from ST that really has no interaction with each other. No commitment, no emotional connection, no physical connection. I guess we can just pick people who've barely had an interaction, like Steve and Will. Eddie and Hopper. Mike and Robin (not yet anyways).

Liking

E.g. Joyce and Murray, Mike and Lucas. Just friends, but they are friends enough that they have believable closeness and an understanding of one another. More examples include all the party's friendships with each other (except Mike and Will). I don't want to really dumb them down into not being committed toward each other, but we can see that they're not dependent on each other in a way that's got more emotional depth than some other platonic duos in the show.

Infatuation

The only notable one that I can think of here is Stancy, more specifically on Nancy's side. This means she only has passion with him, aka, physical attraction. She's not intimate with him (in this model's definition at least). This model's definition of intimate means sharing deep secrets and trusting each other. During S1, Nancy's reason for being with Steve was because he was popular and she was just excited to be with the most desire guy in high school. She didn't confide in him about her emotional turmoil, she didn't understand his decisions and he didn't understand hers. In S2, this is the same. The only time that she confronted him was when she was drunk, other times she didn't feel he understood her enough like Jonathan did.

She also wasn't committed to him, which makes sense, because she had a far more emotional intimacy with Jonathan.

Empty

The first one that comes to mind ^. Obviously, this isn't necessarily fully in line with the psychological definition of 'Empty love', because Karen is not fully committed to Ted in S2 or S3, but ultimately she does make the decision not to cheat on her husband because of her commitment to her family. They have no intimacy and no passion (Ted's bed is literally downstairs). This is one of those relationships where people don't even have to ask why they don't get a divorce -- because they're too committed, which is their downfall.

Companionate

I believe Steve and Robin are different to those friendships in the 'Liking' category. They have intimacy, because they confide in each other and understand each other on a deeper level. But they're also committed to each other in a way that the other platonic duos don't have. They go where the other goes -- (they always need to have the same job together), and other people already think they are a couple (based on heteronormativity but also because they're seen together so often). They obviously have no passion, because uh well, their physical attractions lie elsewhere.

Romantic

I couldn't think of anything that just fitted only intimacy and passion and no commitment, most of the couples on ST basically have commitment if they also have the other two.

Fatuous

Without intimacy, but only commitment and passion, this is a super rare kind of love, and probably not represented in Stranger Things. If anyone has any idea of what could be in this section, please let me know.

Consummate

The ideal love, with intimacy, passion and commitment, is luckily represented by most of the canon couples in Stranger Things. This is how you know that the writers are good at writing believable romances -- you don't need the characters to explicitly state that they are in love for you to know, because they have all three of the staples for an ideal love.

Jancy has intimacy because they can tell each other secrets and they understand each other's emotional traumas (Jonathan understands Nancy's trauma surrounding Barb, for example. As a wise man once said, they have shared trauma). The biggest reason why they definitely have this love to me, though, is because the moments that they have the most trouble in their relationship is when one of these sections breaks down. AKA -- intimacy was broken down in S3 when they 'don't understand each other' anymore, and they were able to come back from this, showing their commitment. Season 4 also shows their commitment, because while Nancy was being sweet talked to by Steve (ugh sorry), she still stayed committed to Jonathan, same on Jonathan's side. Despite being in a different state, he still made all his decisions based on her future as well as his, showing they were committed.

Jopper has intimacy because she feels that he understands her more than anyone -- he met her in high school and clearly have both shared memories and shared trauma. They trust each other with sensitive information about each other's lives, and are able to confide in each other when the other is going through something. The commitment is shown deeply in Season 4. Joyce's commitment is quite literally shown in almost crashing in a plane for him and trying to break him out of prison. Hopper's is the plan he makes to break out and go see her. Their passion well.... that is also shown in the way Hopper continues to pine for her in S3, giving her longing looks, but also in S4 because this desire has a pay off.

Okay so now we can talk about which categories Mileven and Byler fit into:

Mileven and Byler

Lets' start by looking at each of the three components:

Mileven's Intimacy:  In the beginning of Season 1, Mike has emotional understanding with El, but this is gone by the time Season 4 rolls around. She explicitly states to him "No. You don't." He also finds no time to express his insecurities about his relationship with her actually with her, instead choosing to confide in Will about his insecurities. On El's side, she chooses to lie to Mike about having a really hard time in California, because she does not have the intimacy with him to feel like she can confide in him. There is a reason for this, obviously, and that is because she feels insecure about their relationship. But instead of communicating that, she chooses to ignore it. When Mike finally chooses to tell El about his 'feelings', even if they are true, he is only spurred on by Will alone, not by his own desire to do it. Whenever Mike tries to actually tell El what he's feeling, he ends up trying to do it in other ways in order to avoid it. Their scenes where they're about to open up to each other are either interrupted or extremely frustrating.

Byler's Intimacy: Will has always chosen Mike to talk about his problems with. He says to him in the 'crazy together' scene that Mike can't tell the others because they won't understand, showing that they have a unique kind of intimacy. Will also chooses to confide only with Mike about his problem with D'art in S2, because the situation is slightly icky (because D'art was literally inside him ig) and trusts only Mike with this situation. This is the same as the situation at the end of S4, where Will knows it would be scary for anyone else to hear, but he's happy to tell Mike about Vecna being alive. Luckily, Mike is ready to jump into action at the drop of a hat in both situations. Mike's intimacy with Will is the sheer amount of heart-to-heart scenes they have in S4. He's always ready to tell Will about his relationship problems, but not El (and no, not just because she's in the lab). He's more comfortable around him than El. All Mike and El do is make out (in S3), have some slight banter, but they don't actually have any shared interests. Mike and Will both have the shared interest of all things nerdy, and Mike finds Will's artwork moving and amazing. Mike has been shown to have an appreciation for what Will creates.

Mileven's Passion: I guess it's slightly awkward to talk about this kind of stuff with either Mileven or Byler, because they are teenagers. But teenagers obviously experience physical attraction and desire. The reason we can see this desire in other couples is because they have a lot of build up. Jancy have desire because they've been kept from each other because of Steve and Nancy being together. Jopper have been kept from each other because of Joyce's relationship with Bob and her grief, then Hopper being kept in jail (though that's not to do with romance). Lumax have been kept from one another because of Max refusing to get help from others. There was no pining, desiring moment with Mileven. And I know what people might say: Season 2 and Season 3 had moments where they were kept from each other and it was shown that Mike wanted her back. Oh? You mean the Mike that gave up on calling her and focused on Will until El reappeared again? You mean the Mike that joked around with Lucas after El broke up with him and played himself as the victim? It's not the same, because it has no pay off like the others. The maybe-pay off is the 'passion' of them making out in S3, constantly getting interrupted by some funny old guy haha!. As Hopper said, too much passion is 'not normal, not healthy'. This passion has Mike pulling her hands away from him and is just presented as humour/puberty-ridden teens figuring themselves out. Idk man

Byler's Passion:  Ignoring the fact I feel so weird talking about this, let's just reiterate some of the points I brought up to you in the last paragraph. All other main couples in ST have had a moment of unambiguous pining. Jopper, Jancy and Lumax. This is also the case with Byler, clearly, from S4, Will's pining for Mike can be seen as him wanting something. Have you seen those longing looks, marked by sweet, pining music? Those scream attraction, even though some of you might be allergic to two teen boys showing attraction to each other but are totally fine with 13 year olds making out. Those are just Will's pining moments. I mean, I can talk at length about Mike's slip ups. The triple take? The amount of lip glances on this man? It's hard to say at the moment whether they have passion in this relationship, but the thing is. We don't need to have it right now. All we need to know is that there is potential for it, potential for an amazing pay off where Will confesses his feelings. And from the amount of pining Will's shown (and Mike in a lot of ways), there definitely is potential.

Mileven's commitment: So this is where they actually have something. But that's not necessarily a good thing. Mike is the first person that treats El well after being stuck in an abusive lab for the first 12 years of her life. He made a promise to her that he would take care of her, and they both stress that Friends Don't Lie. They don't want to lose each other. Mike tells Will and El that he doesn't want to lose her and wants her to need him. This is not the same as romantically loving somebody. Mike's feelings shift during S2 and S4, but his commitment to El overrides everything. El wants to break up with him because of various reasons, and says that he is her 'first boyfriend' during S3. But they still stay together despite the troubles in their relationship, showing that the commitment is not something they want but something they need in order to feel secure. We have established they have no intimacy, we have established they have no passion. So why do they stay together? Because of the security, or some other reason. We have seen that Mike doesn't love El during S4 because he describes 'explaining himself' to her, while also not knowing what to say when she spells it out for him. We have seen how Mike treats El poorly, and the other way around. They lie to each other, they don't confide in the other. But they stay together because... they've made a promise, a commitment. Mike says I love you because she's going to die and believes it's what she wants. Even if this commitment was supposed to be genuine and pure, it can't be worth rooting for without intimacy and passion.

Byler's commitment: Will states many times that he will always be Mike's friend, always need him, wants to be with him for the rest of his life, playing games in his basement. That is the most obvious sign of commitment I have ever seen. He is so committed that he is willing to sacrifice his own feelings in order to make Mike happy, effectively tying himself to his love forever. Mike is committed to Will in his own way. He is always the one to apologise and take the fall in their arguments, while with El he is not committed in that way. When Will is away from Mike, he's worried that he's lost him. Basically this means Mike is afraid that Will isn't as committed as he is to their friendship. It's funny because Will has the exact same worries during the Rink o Mania fight. But that's the irony. They are both committed. Mike's commitment despite the distance is shown through his fear of losing Will. Will's commitment to him despite the distance is through his painting. No matter what, Mike is always ready to be a team with Will and work with him. Even while they were supposed to be fighting, Mike confides in Will. And Will? A huge part of Will's arc is his undying commitment towards Mike, which makes his scenes with Mileven so upsetting -- because we know his love will never end, meaning his sadness won't end unless Mileven break up.

So what's the diagnosis?

Mileven: Empty Love (Only commitment to each other. There is no show of emotional understanding and connection. The passion and pining for each other is not shown like with other ST couples.)

Byler: Consummate Love (Has all three elements. Both have a mutual understanding to each other's needs, both have a mutual pining, even though it's much easier to see on Will's side. Both have a commitment to the other in their own way. All other popular ST couples have this love and would fit in with Byler's)

Im so scared to post this because it's so different from my other posts. But hopefully you see that even if Byler is not endgame, Mileven being endgame would not be a true show of 'love defeats all' -- because it is not a healthy love. 

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

Part 1 here Part 2 here

@teabroomsandbooks @exhaustedpirate @bornunderabluemoonbaby @azaharinflames @adian-ua

Buck couldn't blame Amir for looking so agitated. He had heard similar claims from people during calls and always felt his own internal alarms go off...

But this was different.

He had proof.

"Mr. Buckley," Amir sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose before crossing his arms, already on the defense. He had pulled Buck into the charge nurse's office since the other staffers were intrigued and invested in hearing how Buck was involved. "I'm not saying I don't believe you, but answer me this. You donated your sperm via the appropriate channels so that Mr. and Mrs. Johnson could have a child, correct?"

Buck nodded, his attention half taken away as he scrolled through his phone for the proof that he did in fact donate his sperm.

"Y-yeah."

"So in that case, I would hope that you and the Johnsons created and went through the proper legal channels when in came to defining your role in all this, is that also correct?"

Buck froze, he looked up and realized what Amir was asking.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat, he refused to cry but he could feel his eyes burn already in frustration. A part of him wanted to lie, but he knew how easy that would be for others to unravel.

"I-We-we did." He admitted gruffly, holding his phone tightly as Amir gave him a empathetic look.

"So is it safe to assume that you gave up your paternal right to their child and that you hold no responsibility to their child? Be it financially, emotionally, medically, and most importantly, legally?" Amir asked, his voice not as biting. He looked understanding.

Buck nodded, arms dropping to his side as he felt his adrenaline finally seep out of his muscles. He just felt tired. "I-I know I'm not anything to Daniel, not really. But-can't I see him? You and the other nurses mentioned that Daniel's family might not even make it to pick him up before CPS is called? Can't I- I don't know, can't i request to be made his emergency placement foster parent?" Buck begged, looking desperately at Amir for hope.

The older man looked flummoxed at that, Buck figured it didn't hurt to ask.

"Listen," Amir patted Buck's shoulder, "I can tell you care a lot about this child, and I want to believe you're a good person, but I don't want to give you false hope that-"

A knock and the door opening got their attention, "Amir?"

A tall woman with honey blond hair and dark rimmed glasses looked at them both. She wasn't wearing scrubs, Buck noticed, but did have a hospital ID.

"Hey Anita." Amir looked over at Buck, his expression grim as he introduced Anita Hernandez to Buck, the supervising social worker for the pediatric floor. "This is Evan Buckley." he cleared his throat, "He's the boyfriend of the first responder that rescued Daniel Johnson. He also happens to be the biological parent for Daniel." Amir noted dryly.

Buck watched Anita look taken back by all that as she went in to shake Buck's hand. "I'm going to guess you have the appropriate documents or some sort of proof to show you're his father?"

Buck gritted his teeth momentarily, "That's the thing, I'm not the dad I'm the-"

"The donor," Amir finished, looking between them with a unreadable expression. "Mr. Buckley has signed away his parental rights to Daniel but was wondering if he could be considered as an emergency placement."

Anita frowned at that, "No." she answered without hesitation, her expression barely softened as she told Buck, "I'm sure you understand that the Johnsons' do have family that have been contacted in regards to Daniel."

"Doesn't sound like that they are here yet." Buck retorted, trying to keep his patience and hope at a manageable level. He didn't miss the side eye from Anita, "Look, I know that I don't have any legal grounds here or anything, but I'm a firefighter, I know Connor and Kameron, I lived with Connor even. I just want to make sure Daniel doesn't go to some random person if his family doesn't come in time to get him. I have my own place, I've done background checks with my job and I even went through the classes to become certified as a backup since my friend and her wife were foster parents. I have all the documents to prove that too"

Anita looked unmoved by that despite saying, "Mr. Buckley, as touched as I am by all this," she put her hand over her heart to further emphasize her words, "We do need to follow protocol here, Daniel's family has been contacted and we trust that a family member will be here to retrieve him."

"But-"

"In the case they don't make it here in time, then please know that we are well versed in what steps we need to take in order to make sure Daniel is safe and taken care of by a vetted foster parent."

Buck rubbed his faced tiredly, shaking his head in frustration as he tried to clarify, "Look, I'm not trying to take Daniel away or anything, I just want to make sure he's safe. I know Connor and Kameron wouldn't want their kid to be placed in foster care."

Anita nodded, "I'm sure no parent wants their child to be placed in foster care, Mr. Buckley. And as for now that's not the case."

Before Buck could say something else, Amir jumped in. "Is there a chance that Mr. Buckley can be considered as a placement in the case no family shows?" he asked, Buck couldn't help but notice Anita's glare towards Amir darken.

"I'm not making any promises, and considering there's no documentation proving Mr. Buckley's relationship to the parents, I doubt a placement can occur without taking hours."

Buck didn't want to give up, he didn't want to. He didn't want to lose Daniel like this.

"Can you at least tell me if his family shows?"

Anita rolled her eyes, "That's out of my hands." she glanced at her watch, "I need to meet with my supervisees." She looked over at Amir, "We'll talk soon."

Amir nodded and held the door open for her and Buck.

Buck felt dejected and more helpless as he tried to figure out what and if there was anything he could do. He knew he had to be careful here, Anita and Amir were right about one thing: he knew he had no claims on Daniel, not legally.

He wasn't the dad, just the donor.

But Daniel needed him as much as Buck needed him right now.

-

Buck was sure he had a heart.

Buck was sure he was capable of breathing.

He was so sure.

Before he saw Tommy, and now?

Now he could barely gasp for air. He was too afraid to even touch Tommy now.

He knew that Tommy was his ex. But he still wanted to touch him. Buck needed to know that Tommy was still there, still warm and strong.

His hand hovered over Tommy's chest, thankful that Tommy was at least breathing on his own now. The top of his head was bandaged up, he had a cast on his leg and he looked like he had something wrapped around his hips since there was bulk around his middle. Tommy was covered in bruises as well as stiches and bandages on his arms, neck, and face (those were just the places Buck could see). He bent over Tommy, gingerly touching his curls. Despite his brain screaming "Don't do it!", Buck gently brushed his lips against Tommy's forehead. He wanted to say something; how much Tommy meant to him, how much he missed Tommy, how grateful he was to Tommy was saving Daniel. He wanted to beg too, beg Tommy to come back to him, to wake up, to open his eyes again.

But all the words felt too much and felt too overwhelming to say. He gulped down a sob but knew it was useless.

He brushed away the tears that ended up falling on Tommy's face and hand.

A part of him knew this would be time in where he would call Maddie, Eddie, or Bobby. But he couldn't. A part of Buck felt like he couldn't call them, not now at least. It wasn't like they could anything anyway. They couldn't give Buck wanted he wanted the most.

He just wanted Tommy.

Awake and healthy and safe Tommy.

Buck pulled a chair as close as he could to Tommy's bed, careful to not lean or pull on a wire or cord, but close enough that he could keep brushing his fingers through Tommy's hair.

He wasn't sure how long it was just them in that small room, with the only sound was the murmur of the people outside the room and the beeping of the heart monitor.

it was just the two of them in their bubble...

"Mr. Buckley?"

Buck jolted in his seat, the voice was soft and low but the person attached to the voice somehow came into the room without Buck noticing.

Buck looked up to see short woman with a mass of bronze curls, she looked nervous but resolute as Buck peered at her hospital badge. Claudia Perez, pediatric social worker.

Buck stood up, "Uh, yes?"

"Want to take a walk?"

-

"Listen," Claudia starts as she leads Buck down to the pediatric floor, her voice carefully steady but her eyes were filled with the type of nervous energy that made Buck pay close attention to what she was saying, "I know you don't have any legal rights to Daniel, but right now he's inconsolable- he's afraid and he misses his parents, I'm worried we're just traumatizing him more if we don't bring him to his parents or Tommy."

"He's really asking for Tommy?" Buck asked, his voice cracking as he stopped in his tracks.

Claudia stopped to turn to him, giving him a sad look. "It makes sense, Tommy did save him, twice from what I heard. He trauma bonded to that man. I think at this point it's either we send him to his parents; which we can't. Or we bring him to his "Tummy". But since I can't do either, I can at least bring you to him." she stopped right at a door with a colorful green board that read D. Johnson, Buck could already hear Daniel's cry. "And I think he needs you as much as you need him right now. Am i right?"

Buck felt his words catch in his throat, he could only nod as Claudia opened the door and led them into the room.

Daniel.

Daniel looked just like Buck.

How Daniel looked in that picture.

It felt too surreal for Buck.

Buck felt numb all over, not even registering that Daniel was still crying as Claudia ushered out two sitters out of the room.

Claudia tried to comfort the young toddler, but Daniel only screamed harder, his cries drowning out Claudia trying to introduce Buck to him.

Buck wasn't so sure what he was doing, but he felt himself going on autopilot as he pulled out his phone. Scrolling through his camera roll till he found the picture that still made his heart flutter.

"Hey Daniel," he showed the toddler the picture of him and Tommy- the time in where they went to the zoo just for fun and bought matching elephant and hippo ear headbands. The picture was of the two of them wearing the headbands and their laughter barely contained as they leaned into each other for the picture. "Who is that?" he asked,

He caught the moment in where Daniel recognized Tommy.

The young boy reached out for the phone, "Tummy!" he cried, a sliver of a frenzied laugh/cry from Daniel made Buck nearly sob again. "That's Tummy."

"Yeah," Buck wiped away his own tears, "That's Tommy." he scrolled to the next picture- the picture of Tommy wearing both headbands as Buck made a face as he sat behind Tommy to wrap an arm around Tommy's neck. "He's my friend, he and I are both firefighters." he told the young boy. "Do you want to see more pictures of Tommy?"

Daniel nodded.

His next move made Buck's heart lurch, the young boy stretched out his arms, signaling for Buck to pick him up.

Buck looked at Claudia, wanting to make sure it was okay.

The woman gave him small smile and a thumbs up.

"C'mon buddy." Buck cooed as he picked up Daniel and sat him on his lap, "I've got a bunch of Tommy stories to share."

It wasn't a great idea, but it was an idea that in the end made Buck and Daniel feel better.

They were back in Tommy's room, Claudia had managed to sneak them back down again. She warned Buck that she had to stay with them in the case they were found out but it was worth it, Daniel had stopped crying since coming into the hospital.

He didn't cry when he saw he saw Tommy finally.

("We can't let him see his parents, can we?" Buck asked, already knowing the answer.

Claudia's expression and answer were both grim, "Tommy would be way less traumatic for Daniel.")

"Tummy hurt?" Daniel asked, his chubby finger pointing at Tommy as Buck carried him, rubbing his back in comfort as Daniel looked close to tears again.

"Yeah, buddy." Buck replied honestly, "But he's going to get better, he just needs to sleep." he sat down in his previous spot, with Daniel in his lap. "He's going to be okay, I promise."

Daniel touched the back of Tommy's hand. "Hi Tummy."

Buck would probably never stop tearing up now. "He's your hero, huh?"

Daniel nodded.

"Mine too." Buck confessed, he pulled out his phone again. "You know when he wakes up, I bet he'll show you how to fly a helicopter or a plane. He likes flying." Buck explained, he showed the toddler the picture of Tommy and his helicopter, Tommy in the pilot's seat, Tommy and Buck standing in front of the helicopter. "Would you want to-"

It seems as though sleep had finally caught up with Daniel.

He remembered the time Bobby had compared having kids to having one's heart walk outside their body.

Seeing Daniel cuddle into his arms and sleep against his chest was definitely like that.

Daniel was even grasping the front of Buck's shirt as though he was afraid of Buck leaving him.

"Looks like you and Tommy were just the people he needed." Claudia said in awe as she watched Buck pull Daniel closer, careful to not wake the young boy.

"Y-yeah, i guess so."

Daniel had managed to sleep for at least two hours, with Buck nodding off for an hour himself.

By the time they both woke up, Claudia had managed to snag them both a tray of food and cartoons of apple juice.

A small part of Buck knew what this was.

This wasn't real.

Daniel wasn't his kid, not really.

And Tommy wasn't his boyfriend.

But it was too easy for Buck to see himself having all this.

He had nearly tricked himself into thinking he had it till he showed a picture of Connor and Kameron to Daniel, causing the young boy to softly exclaim "Daddy!" as he pointed to Connor.

"Yeah, that's-that's daddy." Buck agreed, a bit uneasy and guilt stricken as the image and idea of him, Daniel, and Tommy being (possibly) an actual family fizzled.

It wasn't improbable.

It was just unattainable.

But at one point he had imagined him and Tommy having kids. Doing the whole house, picket fence, and 2.5 kids.

He was sure Tommy wanted the same.

Tommy wanted a family.

Buck wanted a family...

"And who's that?" Buck asked, feigning enthusiasm, as he pointed to Kameron.

"Mommy." Daniel replied happily and touching the screen.

"You're such a smart kid." Buck cooed, hugging Daniel carefully (the kid was still healing as well). "And who's that?" Buck asked, pointing to a picture of Tommy.

"Tummy!"

"Right! And who's this?" Buck pointed to a picture of himself

"Buck!"

(Just Buck.)

Buck forced himself to smile, he gave Daniel a high five, "You're right again, you're so smart."

Daniel smiled brightly, it was too eerily similar to Buck's smile.

A knock at the door had Claudia and Buck on alert, before they could do anything the door opened.

"Bobby?" Buck was taken back as Bobby and Amir came into the room. "What are you doing here?" he asked, getting up as he carried Daniel in his arms.

Bobby looked as though was assessing the situation, his eyes falling on Tommy before shifting back to Buck and Daniel. Buck knew that Bobby was more taken back by the kid.

"Amir called me."

"How did-"

Bobby looked momentarily uncomfortable, "We had a case together. When you said you were firefighter, Amir called me to ask if i knew you." he pointed to Daniel, "Who's kid is that?"

Amir cut in before Buck could reply, his voice gruff as he looked at Claudia and Buck and asked, "The better question, why is the kid here?"

Next part

[isa-ghost]

AU where Cucurucho can see through all the Fed workers'........ well they don't have eyes, but don't worry about it.

Do I even have to mention the angst potential between Tubbo and Fred? Or Walter Bob? Or any of the other workers we or the islanders actually got kinda emotionally invested in?

Something something eventually he can see through the islanders that work for/with the Federation's eyes too. Cellbit, Fit, Foolish.

Maybe also the ones that have pasts with or get too close to the Feds or Cucurucho himself. Bagi, Baghera, Jaiden.

And maybe also the ones the Feds have kidnapped and done things to. Phil, Felps, Pac, Mike, Roier.

Maybe the latter two groups aren't compromised yet, but Cucurucho certainly has aspirations to get to that point.

Once the islanders who aren't compromised are told about what's happening, paranoia explodes among the islanders. They start suspecting each other despite trying their best to keep trust strong. They start wondering if the eggs are being used too. Even SecurityCraft cameras start getting suspected.

This is the shit the Codes were trying to warn them about. They Know. They're the previous iteration of islanders.

It's Etoiles's time to shine. Granted, several candidates that were being considered eligible to join The Resistance are now compromised or Could Be compromised, but they can figure that out as they go.

He builds an underground meeting place in the spirit of Order Theoritas. He'd use The Order itself if it weren't for Cellbit being compromised and having full access to the hideout he built. This is the place he'll use to sort out what to do to stop Cucurucho, or at least to find a way to disconnect his eyes from the islanders. He calls it La Résistance Aveugle, which translates (perhaps incorrectly because Google Moment) to "The Blind Resistance."

He definitely finds a way to disconnect the eyes at some point, bringing the saved people under The Resistance's wing, letting them recover from it before recruiting them to help save the others.

At first The Resistance is made up of the other people who have been Touched by the Code. Charlie, Maxo. Luzu (or more accurately, Arin) is also vaguely involved, more like another informant that's not physically in the picture.

The Codes do their best to get Etoiles intel from within the Federation ASAP in an effort to try and stay one step ahead of Cucurucho, or at least so they have some ability to anticipate what the Federation's next move(s) will be.

Etoiles decides it's most important to seek out the vulnerable islanders and recruit them first, before Cucurucho can get to them. Bagi, Baghera, Jaiden, Phil, Felps, Pac, Mike, Roier.

But he's not going to just welcome them in so easily. They're essentially quarantined in a secret location meant to look like where The Resistance is based, but in reality it's a decoy. In this place, they're screened and monitored for a period of time to ensure The Feds didn't beat The Resistance to them.

Once they pass all the tests to ensure they're not compromised yet, they're brought into The Resistance officially and brought to the REAL hideout. And there's a diabolical plot twist I'm planning for this part. :)

Phil and Roier pass the tests for sure. Roier is particularly feisty throughout the process, he wants to save Cellbit ASAP. Phil's hatred of The Federation is potent. Etoiles trusts them wholeheartedly by the end of their testing. Codebreakers and Bloodhounds >>>>>>.

While the processes with The Vulnerable are ongoing, The Resistance also try and reach out to people they're confident haven't been compromised yet. Tubbo, Bad, Tina, Pierre.

It's a long shot to contact them, but they try to go to the people who are rarely around too, since they're also unlikely to be compromised. Missa, Mariana, Niki, Mouse.

Etoiles has mixed feelings about it, but out of necessity he forms a blacklist of members he absolutely refuses to recruit, for the sake of keeping things secure. Quackity, Antoine, Vegetta. He has valid reasons for all of them.

Tubbo's on board immediately, he's been grilling Cucurucho and challenging him since his first days on the server. With his intelligence and ability to plan combined with Etoiles's skills, The Resistance surely stands a better chance.

They successfully assemble Bad, Tina, Pierre, Missa, Niki, and Mariana (after an Average Slimariana argument and subsequent hatefucking). Mouse's correspondence is pending (she's a very busy demon!) but Tina and Niki are able to vouch that she'd be likely to help them too.

By the end of all their recruiting, The Resistance consists of Etoiles, Tubbo, Bad, Tina, Pierre, Missa, Niki, Phil, and Roier. Hopefully Bagi, Baghera, Jaiden, Pac, and Mike will join them soon, they're still going through their screenings. (Pac especially is working hard to earn their trust, he wants to save Fit as much as Roier wants to save Cellbit).

I'm gonna place this fic pre-Purgatory, which means the eggs are actually missing at the moment. It makes things easier plot-wise, LMAO.

But that isn't stopping Niki. She proposes The Resistance devotes a portion of themselves to figuring out what to do about finding the eggs. They can't just abandon the kids! Suffice to say it's a controversial idea to The Codes, but she has a point. Much spicy debating to be had about it.

As THE babysitter ever, Bad volunteers to assist her, though he also intends to be in the thick of everything, not just lingering on the side worrying about the thing they were all trying to resolve prior to this whole crisis.

Phil basically joins Bad, because 90% of his reason for living on the island are Chayanne and Lullah. But make no mistake, he too wants to be a smidge more involved. Anything for a reason to beat The Federation's ass. He also has experience with these kinds of things thanks to The Syndicate, he has wisdom to offer.

Ideally, over time and through so much DELICIOUS suspense and tension and angst, they'd find a way to stop Cucurucho. But I don't know if I'd end the story 100% happy so maybe not Everyone can be saved. I dunno. It wouldn't be a completely unhappy ending though. :)

EDIT: I GOT MORE.

This fic will be called Eye Spy With My Evil Eye! :D

Every chapter's title will complete the phrase, Chapter 1 being "Something... Wrong."

It'll start off with Cellbit, and he's the first to have a moment where a weird encounter with Cucurucho sets off alarm bells that something is more off than usual. Cue Investigator Mode.

Fit and Foolish will have similar moments in the chapter where something is Just not right enough for them to get wary there's some new fuckery afoot, but unlike Cellbit they kinda brush it off.

I'm incredibly proud of how I characterize Foolish already and in classic me fashion, my notes on the chapter are fucking hilarious. Behold:

After they each have their "Well that's even more weird than usual" moment, the chapter will return to Cellbit as he contacts Fit and Foolish because he suspects that their association with The Federation is doing something to them in a similar vein to how the Codes have affected Etoiles, Charlie, and Maxo.

The Horrors(tm) will unfold from there, I already have 4 chapters plotted and it'll definitely be more than that. No idea how long the fic will be in total though.

[beedreamscape]

This has to be the last thing I say on C3 finale because otherwise, I will not stop, it simply baffles me in its mediocrity. And obviously, this will be negative, if you loved it, good for you, this is my takeaway as someone who loved this campaign and was severely let down.

This finale changes everything that came before and not for good, better yet, it emphasizes all the faults in the structure of what c3 tried to be, it made most of the campaign feel like a true exercise in futility — How far can we go in a campaign that is meandering and unsatisfying? How long can we have the same discussion over and over and over again despite everyone knowing how this will end? How long can we drag out characters that don't change without anyone noticing? (spoiler everyone noticed)

Can't say I was emotionally invested in the finale because I tapped out back in the 70s, came back for Aeor/Downfall shenanigans, and left again. But in experiencing the finale something became clear to me:

THIS STORY NEEDED TO BE SHORTER.

WITH ANOTHER PARTY AT THE HELM.

If the objective from the very conception of C3 was to wipe out the gods, that had to be clear from the very start. And it wasn't clear, at all — not in the characters, not in the starting city, not in theme. This was a completely different campaign at the start! That clarity was what made Calamity so great, it was short and precise, and every pc SERVICED THE THEME, filled with hubris and contempt, not to mention the setting.

Even Ludinus went in circles for convenience of the campaign length and became a weaker opponent for it, more of a nuisance than a villain. The threat he posed at episode 50 was much stronger than now at 120 something. The battle against Otohan was more nail-biting and emotionally engaging than fighting Ludinus and Predathos, a god eater!!!!

This campaign would've benefited from three to four acts instead of one overarching objective like the past campaigns because urgency is the name of the game and we can't carry urgency for 70 episodes straight (and they didn't).

The constant inclusion of the other parties made it clear how easy it was to detach BH from the story, how easy and fun it was for them to tell it through another party's eyes (one of the main reasons why I walked away back when I did, but that's more of a personal preference).

Which is not to say Bells Hell's didn't deserve a long story! They could very well have existed in a more intimate campaign which these characters were clearly built for! Their premises begged for closer looks in slow moments, something tragicomical, exploration of the inner world while developing MARQUET and its microcosm of injustice and politics which was left in the dust mid-campaign (pun intended).

And I'm not suggesting this just for our enjoyment, I know it's them playing and their enjoyment comes first blah blah, though this is a multi-million company therefore their jobs but this would contribute to their enjoyment! You could see several moments in the campaign how tapped out they felt and acted. I doubt it was "fun" discussing the gods situation ad naseaum, trudging through landscapes they barely cared about, with empty arcs.

I could nitpick every fault I see in the finale but it would be pointless, these issues have been dragged from ages ago and poor character matching, and now this is a culmination of everything and it barely fazes me anymore.

(And yeah it's their game and it's "free", but that doesn't undermine its weight as a story, stories were made be analyzed, and it was a poorly structured one no matter how much I still like and admire them as people.)

WHICH is not to say I had no fun at all ever, I did! several times! and that's what makes me upset, it could've been great instead is just meh.

[sagistrology]

id love to see your interpretation on pluto conjunct ascendant, or virgo venus! i find these placements fascinating.

pluto conjunct ascendant 

♇ a conjunction implies a tight orb (8° or less), creating a direct impact on the ascendant while furthering the qualities of the respective sign. here, it affects one's identity, how one responds to their environment, the 'self', and their physical appearance - in connection to pluto.

♇ this aspect is incisive, intense, and amplifies whichever sign pluto's in - sometimes leading to an obsession with what they identify with, as well as providing a breeding ground for 'negative' traits if not handled carefully.

♇ for a lack of better word, these 'shadow' / unhealed aspects may include repressed trauma, destructive tendencies, secretiveness, the desire to dominate, control, manipulate etc. (doesn't exclude these same tactics being used or inflicted on them).

♇ there's a need to learn how to alchemize their pain in order to allow transformation to be beneficial rather than destructive. this aspect tends to dominate the majority of other placements, esp. since the ascendant is what we relate to, and portray. intense and challenging, yet highly rewarding.

♇ strong sense of purpose – craving to be consumed by meaning. ambitious, meticulous in their approaches, deeply analytical, seeing through other’s behaviours. (benefit from exercising).

♇ fully immersed or disinterested. this applies to humans, causes, ambitions, you name it. once committed to either, they become enduring and sacrificial. being driven by something that gets them involved mentally and emotionally is essential.

♇ knowing how to cater to people’s egos because they had to read their desires in order to be tolerated at some point lol, think of the seven deadly sins; greed, wrath, sloth, envy, lust, gluttony, and pride. seeing behind these facades - and those aspects in themselves, has them in tune with human desires and the most vile manifestations of it.

♇ depending on how pluto’s aspected there’s even more nuance to it, which can’t be generalised. (e.g. pluto in 12h conjunct ascendant)

♇ ‘darkened’ appearance, more so in their essence rather than features alone, naturally demanding attention upon entering a space, observant, psychologically-inclined, often drawn to heavier subjects and taboo conversations.

♇ deeply connected to the cyclical nature of death and rebirth – knowing how to ‘play’ a character, as well as being aware of its impact. tend to go through changes in their appearance, often rapidly (mesmerizing eyes).

♇ magnetic but intimidating to most, attracting jealousy that’s often hidden because few dare to confront them (eyes are on them - even in times of isolation).

♇ secret admiration, being studied carefully, sometimes obsessively - desired by many and known by few.

♇ immensely projected upon, tending to attract people that want to benefit off their innate influence, the energy of relevancy and ‘power’ – also, being assigned a higher tolerance for pain and harshness, however, almost demonized once defending themselves.

♇ if you want to buy them something get it engraved with a personal message or specific reference, i'm thinking lighters, rings, knives, lockets etc. (sth. resilient they will treasure).

*these observations are general and don't cover all aspects. let me know if you have specific questions.

virgo venus

♍︎ by being opposite of pisces (where venus is exalted), venus in virgo is considered in its fall, which can present as less rewarding or harmonious. it becomes a beautiful placement once understood.

♍︎ venus (also) deals with money and its accumulation. in virgo, wealth is accumulated through consistency and endurance - mostly benefiting from savings and investments. however, there's a tendency for their efforts to go uncompensated. verbal praise and validation ≠ financial compensation.

♍︎ very modest in their expectations and often too shy to ask for a raise = ending up receiving less than adequate compensation for their efforts and expertise, which often exceed the requirements but become the norm. (you don’t owe a company free labour)

♍︎ sometimes, it can be hard for them to distinguish between 'helping' and overextending themselves beyond their emotional, physical, and mental capacities - with venus, this can be emphasized as one partner (virgo) being on the 'giving', and their partner on the 'receiving' end.

♍︎ they may develop an expectation of having to earn compassion and attention (conditional love). 'overcoming' the fixation on providing and learning to receive can be very healing.

♍︎ experimental yet sophisticated (also with clothing), detail-oriented. extremely critical, scrutinizing their discipline and behaviour. value high quality products.

♍︎ appear effortlessly beautiful, which isn't to devalue this aspect, but rather emphasize the time, effort, and dedication that goes into maintaining a certain appearance and health. e.g. through exercise, meditation, nutrition, supplements, consumption habits etc. no detail is 'coincidental', even if it looks like it, it was most likely calculated.

♍︎ crave mental and physical stimulation in romantic relationships, sensual (earth) and analytical (mercury); love to please and see the effects of having 'done well'. write beautiful letters.

♍︎ obsessed with cleanliness. tend to serve when committed, often aren't used to being considered. seeking stability and healthy / productive routines.

♍︎ would probably cry if they received a thoughtful gift that shows you've taken the time to analyse and do something for them unprovoked. truly one of the sweetest things you can do. they tend to be strict on themselves, try to show them they are more than deserving of your love.

*these observations are general and do not cover all details or aspects venus is associated with. for more precise interpretations consider your personal placements.

thank you for your request!

[just-a-ghost00]

General messages for the collective

Group 1

2 of pentacles, 2 of swords, King of cups, ace of cups, page of swords, queen of cups, back of the deck 7 of pentacles

You lack clarity and balance concerning a person that you love. This is a romantic interest that holds a lot of importance to you, considering they are represented by a King. This person may have played hot and cold with you, either voluntarily or because of their life circumstances. Their actions and words got you confused and you may have thought that this person wasn't truthful or reliable. Soon, you will gain clarity on this person's point of view and experience. You will be able to understand their stance better and there may be a renewal in your connection. Because clarity has been made about feelings and expectations for the connection. Either you or they communicated clearly how you felt about the situation which will enable both of you to heal and regain balance in the connection. That could either mean that you will receive an apology from this person and explanations about their behavior which will allow you to move on from them or the conversation could bring you closer and help you move on to a new step together. With the Queen of cups also being present in the reading, I get the feeling that this person considers you an equal and values your input. It is at least very obvious that they care about you and do not wish to cause you harm. With this set of cards, I don't sense any ill will coming from this person. This isn't to say that their actions haven't had a bad effect on you but this person's first intention was never to bring you down or make fun of you. The ace of cups is at the center of the deck. So the heart of the matter is compassion, love, understanding. This card can symbolize a new start in a connection, the will to open up to another and share feelings. It's the blossoming of interest and the expression of a genuine care. The 7 of pentacles at the back of the deck suggests patience and caution, taking the time to assess the situation and leave up to fate a part of the outcome. The 7 of pentacles indicates that has person has done what was necessary to set their goals into motion and have reached a stage where there is nothing more that they can do to ensure a positive outcome. The ball is no longer in their court.

Possible confirmation signs : repeating 2s, water signs, letters P, C & S

Group 2

7 of pentacles, 8 of swords, King of cups, 9 of cups, 9 of wands, page of cups, back of the deck 8 of wands

You may have felt drawn to group 1 as well. If that is the case, I suggest that you check that group too. Because the third card is exactly the same and the 7 of pentacles was group 1's back of the deck. So your energy and group 1's seem to be linked. I have the energy here of people that feel like they gave a situation their everything and are running out of options to make it progress. Yet, they haven't given up on the idea of succeeding, because this situation matters a lot to them. This is something that they are deeply emotionally invested in. It is a dream of theirs, whether that dream is in the form of a project or a person, maybe even both. This person is determined to fight for that dream no matter what but they're at a loss at what to do. They feel like they tried everything, used all the tricks up their sleeve and thought about it over and over again. Yet, they can't seem to find a solution that allows them to get the desired result. They feel like they're in a dead end and they have no emergency exit or detour route that they can take to get where they want. They feel stuck and exhausted, discouraged but still adamant on trying their best until their last breath. I get a feeling of urgency, like "if I don't act soon enough I'm gonna lose my dream", "I will lose the opportunity and I don't want to miss it". I get a "now or never" kind of vibe from this spread. It's like they wish they could jump straight away to their goal because right now they feel like they're in a maze and if they keep walking in it they're gonna miss the exit and will never see the end of it. It's like a lion in a cage, running in circles trying to find ways to be free and find their home. I saw the card that was hidden behind the 8 of wands and it was the 9 of pentacles. And it gave me the feeling of someone trying to save money to travel. The 8 of wands calls for quick action and swift communication. It's also an encouragement to move. So if there's a particular goal you have in mind and you feel like you're not making any progress, you are encouraged to make a significant move towards that goal. There's a need to take a risk and get out of one's comfort zone once and for all.

Possible confirmation signs : repeating 8s and 9s, fire and water signs

Group 3

10 of wands, 10 of pentacles, 2 of swords, 2 of pentacles, King of cups, King of pentacles, back of the deck 3 of swords rx

These messages seem to be more career oriented but that doesn't have to be the case necessarily. I pick on the energy of someone feeling burdened with their responsibilities and overworked. Yet, they are sucessful in their career and projects. That doesn't seem to satisfy them. There may be a feeling of boredom or lacking visibility on the future. I also pick up on the energy of someone that is in a period of doubt concerning their life in general, but also concerning two people or two instances. There is an energy of pondering, decision making, reevaluating one's priorities and goals. There's also an underlying fear of being disappointed, hurt, abused. These energies are weighing on the mind and creating an extra pressure. There's a need to take time to process information and analize what is going on. I looked for a clarifier for the 3 of swords rx and got the page of pentacles. Studying, investigating may be the key to an important step on your journey. This page of pentacles could also represent a younger person, possible an earth sign, that could help you on your journey. I am also picking up on reading, research. Organization is also important. Anticipation, task managing, being open to new ideas and unconventional ways of proceeding. All of these elements could be useful resources in your situation. I'm also picking up on the energy of two people that are circling around each other and testing each other. Neither of them are willing to make a step and risk being vulnerable. Both are testing and trying to assess the intentions of the other. If one has a very practical approach to the situation, the other has a very strategical approach. And I feel like this has been going on for a while. This in a way feels similar to the energies of group 1 and 2. So there may be a lot of people that are going through a similar experience of going back and forth with something or someone. There's a need hear to clearly assess one's intentions to be able to decide on the appropriate course of action.

Possible confirmation signs : repeating 2s, 10s and 14s, letters K and P, Scorpio, Taurus, fixed signs

[buddiebeginz]

Saw this ridiculous thread on twitter that really deserves to be taken apart so lets go:

First of all while it's obvious that Buck is attracted to T*mmy (and at this point likes him a lot considering they're now dating) in 7x04 the the main person who's attention he was trying to get was Eddie's. I did an entire breakdown of that ep btw for anyone who is still confused about what was really happening there.

------

1.

Buck goes to see Maddie after the basketball incidient and this is how the conversation goes

Maddie: You didn't mean to hurt him did you?

Buck: I don't know. I was pissed you know. Seeing him and T*mmy being such good friends after only two weeks. I felt left out and I guess I was trying to get his attention.

I know that you B/T shippers desperately want to see 7x04 as Buck sent the entire episode being super smitten over T*mmy but that is just not the story that show is telling. The entire conversation that Maddie and Buck are having in this scene prior to T*mmy even being mentioned is about Eddie. Buck and Maddie are talking about Eddie's injury and how Buck thinks Eddie won't want to talk to him after what he did. The focus is on Eddie. Also it doesn't make any logical sense for Buck to be so upset and emotionally invested over some guy he barely knows. He's upset because he thinks Eddie his best friend can so easily replace him in his life.

------

2.

You're defending T*mmy because you say he left the date not wanting to pressure Buck...yet he almost outed him in front of Eddie (someone T*mmy knows is important to Buck). By the time they were on their first date T*mmy already knew how new all of this was for Buck and how nervous he was, I mean the man was talking about how he was an ally ffs while he was on a date with a guy. And while Buck's comment about finding some hot chicks was embarrassing and I get T*mmy not liking it he should have had a little more understanding given where Buck is in his journey. Instead he made it worse by making that crass closet comment.

It's also just plain rude to go on a date with someone and then ditch them in the middle without making sure they have a way home and without any real explanation (I'm not talking about more extreme circumstances like your date just being an ahole btw). Sure T*mmy told Buck he didn't think he was ready but that was really all he said. Buck was likely left feeling like he was being punished for having a moment where he acted out of fear. T*mmy could have shared an Uber with Buck and talked to him on the way home and they could have seen if they wanted things to continue. But it was like at the first sign of Buck needing more support he bailed.

------

3.

My personal feeling on the first kiss is that T*mmy really should have given something of an indication of his intentions before he kissed Buck.

Speaking as someone who is bi if I was into another woman and they were giving off the kind of vibes Buck was I wouldn't just jump in there and kiss them. I know they try to make everything more sexy for tv and it's the oldest trope in the book to have the hot guy grab the main's face and lay one on them but given all of the signals Buck was sending out T*mmy really should have gotten more confirmation beforehand.

I'm not accusing T*mmy of anything and clearly Buck liked the kiss and it was also clear in that loft scene he was attracted to T*mmy. Still the vibes he was giving off were also really nervous an unsure and he talked about Eddie 90% of the time literally moments before the kiss. Why jump in an kiss someone who seems that nervous and probably is into someone else? I don't know it's just issues I have with that scene.

----

4.

When it comes to a lot of the discourse I see around between Buddie shippers and B/T shippers I feel like a major difference is in how we perceive the show. I feel like a lot of B/T shippers mostly just take the show at face value. If something is written a certain way and presented that way to you on the screen you take that as exactly what the story is saying but you're missing the more subtle messages in the writing.

Like the whole scene with Buck, T*mmy, and Eddie in the karaoke bar had a lot going on beyond just what the dialogue was saying and it was likely missed by those who weren't paying attention.

Yeah T*mmy was on call and yeah that could be a reason why he didn't dress up. Although as many have pointed out there's plenty of things he could have worn that would have made it easy for him to quickly change and get to work and still put an ounce of effort into something that was clearly important to Buck.

But the not dressing up wasn't even the biggest issue it was that when Buck seemed hurt by the fact that T*mmy didn't care enough to dress up T*mmy was just like it's not that big of deal get over it (in the demeanor with which he responded). Obviously it was just a silly bachelor party one Chim didn't even show up to and no one else even dressed up for it (besides Eddie) but for me it's another red flag showing that T*mmy doesn't listen to Buck and doesn't have his back like a (potential) partner should.

Also you can defend T*mmy all you want but very deliberate choices were made with this Buddie and T*mmy scene. They chose to have Eddie arrive first and call a lot of attention to what he was wearing. Right before they had T*mmy come in and have that whole convo about his lack of costume to Buck.

Multiple times in the episode they pointed out that Buddie were wearing a couples costume and that Eddie is the one who picked it out. Not only were they matching in the bachelor party outfits but if you look at their outfits in the later scenes while looking for Chim they're coordinated like spouses there too.

They chose to have Eddie be the one to stay with Buck when everyone else left. They chose to have Buddie partying alone when they could have easily had T*mmy there. Especially when you consider this is a much shorter season every scene and every ep means even more than it would in a normal season. If they were trying to build B/T and get the audience to warm to them showing them partying even showing B/T partying with Eddie would have been a great time to do that instead they only focused on Buddie.

-------

5.

I'm happy for B/T shippers that you got your kissing scene at the end but here's what I saw. In a very overstuffed episode they chose to have a ton of Buddie stuff including having Buck and Eddie show up together multiple times while everyone was out looking for Chimney. Meanwhile B/T got one small scene (which included Eddie) in the beginning and one kiss at the end away from everyone else (that immediately cut to Eddie and Chris). The kiss didn't even feel like it's main purpose was to further develop the B/T relationship, it felt like it happened more to serve Buck's bi storyline so he could come out to everyone.

Also others have pointed this out but just because B/T have physical chemistry doesn't mean they have romantic chemistry. They seem like very different people. Too different in my opinion. In what little scenes of conversation they've actually had I just see two people who won't be compatible long term.

Juxtapose that with Eddie and Buck and just how much alike they are while at the same time being so uniquely themselves. How they're able to call each other out when they need to like when Eddie pointed out how it was maybe not the greatest idea for Buck to come out at his sister's wedding.

You can dislike Buddie and ship B/T all you want but you can't deny how all Buck and Eddie have to do is stand near each other and they exude chemistry and compatibility. People who don't even watch the show assume they're together and there's not even one scene of them kissing. Yet the main reason people ship B/T is because they're two hot guys who've kissed twice. There is no other real point of substance there. Now tell me again which fandom is guilty of fetishization here?

----

6.

You can call us the delusional ones all you want but EVERYTHING is screaming in your face that T*mmy isn't going to last forever. I don't even care if he comes back for season 8. T*mmy and B/T have a giant ticking clock over them and sooner or later their time will be up. There is no way Tim, the writers, ABC, Ryan, Oliver, etc would pass on the phenomenon that Buddie will be once it goes canon. The show already gets a ton of attention just from talking about the possibility of them going canon. Every single article where they even mention Buddie gets attention.

It's hilarious to me that you say the actors and showrunners are what rooting for B/T? In all the the interviews they talk about Buddie now. Tim literally was saying he cares about Buddie too in his response to a fan the other day. He literally said he included Buddie scene specifically for our fandom. Oliver is always posting and liking stuff related to his scenes with Ryan and Buddie. When Ryan gets to do interviews he gushes about Buddie and Oliver. Meanwhile B/T which is supposed to be the canon ship in this important queer storyline they're doing barely gets mentioned. Let me know when that same energy is being given to your ship.

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

We are heading into a bit of a quieter period for QL corner, with two shows ending now and another next week. At least we still have a true banger airing to sustain us through the drought. Smells Like Green Spirit is also now airing in Japan but has not yet been picked up for international distribution (pray for it to get to us soon). These shows are available for weekly streaming on Gaga unless otherwise noted.

Happy of the End

CWs: Blood and gore, child abandonment, child molestation, childhood sexual slavery, death, family rejection, heavy scarring, human trafficking, rape, sexual coercion and exploitation, suicidal ideation, suicide mention

This week was relatively lighter compared to last week's very rough episodes, but still so laced with sadness even in its happy moments. Haoren mourned his mother, and finally admitted to himself, and to Chihiro, that she was never protecting him. The show dug deeper into how this bond between them is giving them both a reason to shake off their apathy about survival, though that is definitely touch and go for both of them. The way Haoren experienced a few moments of happiness and immediately jumped to the conclusion that he would like to die now because he'll never top this feeling was telling, as was Chihiro casually laying down in the street and not moving until Haoren dragged him away. They don't have any real hope for a better life, but they each seem more invested in the other's survival than their own, and that is giving them something to cling to. It was nice to see them have some moments of trust and connection between them, and for Haoren to finally feel safe enough to strip himself bare, physically and emotionally. I'm bracing for a rough final week, with Haoren's former enslaver coming after Chihiro in a bid to destroy the source of Haoren's new happiness. I don't really know what to hope for in terms of an ending for these characters; I just hope the show can leave us with the sense that their relationship mattered and gave them something they can each hold onto.

Love is Like a Poison

This episode had me screaming with laughter and delight. Haruto can read his Ryo-kun like a book, and Shiba can't seem to figure out which way is up. I don't even want to describe all the hilarious gags and sexy tension and extremely unsubtle metaphors in this episode; I don't want to ruin it for anyone. Go watch!

Chaser Game W 2

Of all the great JQL we've gotten in the last year, why this one got picked up for a second season I could not tell you. I was less than impressed with season 1, and I don't have high hopes this next go round will be any better. Especially after watching the first ep of this new season, in which they unceremoniously undid the ending of the last in a laughably silly way only to introduce a new, more annoying conflict. They could have made something of a story about Fuyu trying to work out a way to manage her family life to be with Itsuki, but they'd rather hand wave that away via gay penguins in favor of a new love triangle. Whatever, show. Here we go again, I guess! I’ll be watching this one mostly to support the ratings.

Tagging @bengiyo to do our last anime update for the next little while, as Twilight Out of Focus has officially ended its run and there is no new animated ql on the horizon.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Episode 4! Let the unhingedness commence!

Aaaand this is why getting wasted before ropeplay is not the best idea.

Safety first, kiddos.

This house looks familiar - have we been in this interior for another series?

Love that the translators are familiar with American slang.

Fadel is just completely right, all the time. No wonder the poor dude is so tired and angry.

Poor Bison. He wants this to be real so badly.

The funny thing is, he's not actually in love yet. He just really really wants to be.

I do look forward to when all these idiots are insanely in love with each other, and acting accordingly.

Haha, one time and Style is totally hooked.

It's cute you can see he did get some of his personality from his dad.

Lol, Fadel, how's that whole "I'll fuck him once to get this over with" working out for you?

The costumer designers nailing it once again!

Lol, Style just lying back in the "take me!" pose. He wants another railing so badly.

Yeah, knew Fadel was just fucking with him. He's not ready to crack yet.

Fadel, change your gloves!!! This show and food safety, good grief.

I do like that Bison is more suspicious here. He's not stupid! Just wants love.

Oh no, is Babe getting beat up at school? Ooh, are we going to get Bison fucking up some bullies?

It feels like Bison has some first hand experience with this kind of thing at school. :(

Oh Style, you are already getting emotionally invested here.

Noooo, not the homophobic bullying. These poor babies.

The teacher? I'm not surprised, but damn. Oh please fuck this dude up.

I love them as a united front.

Before this show ends, I really need all four of them working together to take someone down.

Also still laughing about the janitor and PE teacher thing, cuz it does fit the outfits.

Ha, they brought it up again!

Beating up a pedophile with a toilet plunger, A+, no notes.

Yessss, love that Kant realizes this guy would be a repeat offender, and that beating him up isn't enough.

Oh Style... coming to the support group again is such a shitty thing to do. In character, but shitty. The man is 100% wounded pride at the moment.

Omg, dying.

There is a very different version of this show where Fadel literally has to murder this man to be left alone.

I love how First is playing Kant, where every once in a while there is just a slight hint of fear as he remembers what Bison is.

Gah, the cuteness! It doesn't matter which characters, when First & Khao get flirty, I get all giggly.

Heart-giving via burger pin, that's a new one.

Y'know I'm so used to thinking of First and Khaotung as GMMTV's top actors, but Joong is fucking blowing me away in this role. I think this is such proof of how many actors are often limited by the material they are given, and when they get the right script and director, they just soar. Joong is feasting on this material.

I do feel for Fadel, both for the loss of control, and the realization that "loudmouth dumbass" is his type.

One, this scene is amazing,

and two, I have to laugh that this is the least sexy place to be getting it on - which is of course probably why Fadel picked it, and yet he broke anyway.

Aww, I love sweet sibling moments.

Gah, having Style talk about the car just makes me think about how much Fadel's heart is going to break.

How is it that we have two men who murder people on a regular basis, and I want the two non-murdering ones to be the ones who eat all the crow later. Jojo you devious bastard.

Truth

Ha, Style's argument - "you can still jerk off, just do it with me in the room!"

Oh, is Kant finally going to tell Style?

Oooh, twist - were Fadel and Bison's parents targeted so they could be acquired, or was the murder the main plan, and the boys were a secondary prize? I mean, it was definitely Mother who was behind it, right? This guy is just a patsy?

Poor Style, as much of an annoying jerk as he is, this is a hard recontextualization of everything that he's done up to this point.

Kant, you are being such a dick to your friend! First for not telling him, and now for pressuring him to keep dating an assassin. Of course he wouldn't be able to quit Fadel anyway, but you don't know that!

And again, First nailing the uncertainty when Kant doesn't have anyone looking at him.

Oh, I am not going to survive flirty Fadel.

Well, Fadel did say he prefers being the pursuer... he's gonna get his chance.

Everything is so heightened by having two killers in the mix, Kant's ex better be careful.

Lol, Bison being all "I will get my romantic love, or you will suffer".

Rating - still unhinged, still super fun

[caprisunr]

"I think you're cautious because you have more to give than you think anyone can take." Kim said this to Eddie and it struck to me because he IS someone who is heedful — time again and again we see the patterns of his careful personality.

But I don't think her statement is entirely correct. Specially taking into account that Eddie gave Buck everything he had which is Christopher after only knowing him for a couple of months (year at most), and let him inside his world unapologetically. Buck was there to drive him to Christopher during the earthquake, just as he was there with Eddie when Pepa called him into the hospital, in the same way that he was there when Eddie was packing for Texas for his father's retirement party, as when Christopher left for Texas with Helena and Ramon.

Eddie might not be actively aware that there is someone who can take it all and still decide he is worth staying for—or how easy it is when it's Buck he's giving that part of himself to.

Buck is the first person he called when Christopher wouldn't talk to him and locked him out of his room. In the same way that Buck was Chris' when he ran away from home to find solace. —And Christopher, even if unconsciously, seems to have an understanding of what makes him and his father special to Buck in different capacities: He is the person he reaches out to in front of his father's breakdown (instead of 911.) And at the same time doesn't call out to when he finds Eddie with his mother's doppelganger. He knows he wouldn't be able to scape one without the other following suit right after.

And Eddie has been so fixated on finding the most perfect, sensitive, eligible mother; but not partner. Because this isn't about Eddie wanting to date more than it is about him needing to fix Christopher's life and put everything back where it 'belongs'. Yet, we can't betray ourselves without our true desires slipping. Eddie always finds excuses to distance himself emotionally from the women he is with, and never allows himself to embrace the relationship long-term. He is never 100% invested —He wasn't with Ana, and he wasn't with Marisol.

A Shannon replacement is imposible to replicate; They were best friends before, grew to love each other—and the baby. They knew their weak points, even though they had been separated for years. It was a relationship where both of them were faltering reflection of the other. It was faulty, and recriminatory, and built on the deceit of first love. But also a place where Eddie felt seen, loved, and accepted, probably for the first time. Eddie saw Shannon as an escape from his parents who clearly held a grudge and disapproved of her.

And he keeps dating woman who are perfect, whom his parents would love and approve, who would love Christopher just as much as he does. —But it's not enough. Because they can be motherly but they cannot be Shannon; The person who broke him out of his shelve, who loved him, who gave him Christopher, who put him in his place, who called out his avoidant tendencies, who fleed when things got comfortable to take care of her drying mother, who came back into his life later and asked for divorce the day before she died.

He deluded himself enough with Kim until he realised she could never be Shannon. Kim was only but the shell of this person that he doesn't know.

Except. Well. Eddie does have that already in his life. So maybe the issue is not so much not being able to replace Shannon. But the fact that the space is already filled by someone else. —Someone who challenged him, broke him out of his shelve by asking about his son. He already has someone who looks out for Christopher; who listens to his quirks and worries—but mostly answers to every single one of them, treats him as an equal, thinks about in his spare time. He already has someone who he confides in to put in his will. He has someone who calls him out when he's out of place with a bunch of 'that's not how you talk about someone you're in love with' and 'I'm worried about you' and 'I could've talked some sense into you'. He has someone who is willing to step in in every way that matters and who owns up to it. Eddie has someone in his life who also died, woke up—this time; and chose to stay right where he was.

Eddie feels suffocated and looks to flee, because there's too much people. And it's simple really; Those hers aren't him. He is looking for a mother, and he is aware that nobody could replace Shannon—we see that in how he looks for people opposite to her. But Is he conscious that none of them can sweep the traces of Buck's fingertips all over his life, either?

[gayofthefae]

Watching van scene reactions and confirming a single conclusion:

Everyone is rooting for Will. They're just not predicting him. I have yet to see a reaction in which they realized Will was about to confess or were listening to him confess and were sad about the idea. Always excited. As one is for a romantic trope. As one is for a love confession.

If you are fully confident that someone will not end up with who they love, then you are sad when they express their feelings because it is heartbreaking. But consistently, people are excited. Because, though they don't analyze it and only think about what they're watching as they're watching I do they wouldn't be able to answer you, as they are watching it, they're anticipating Will's confession, giddy at the painting.

No one is reacting to Will's love as a romantic tragedy. They're reacting to it as a romantic trope. Some are even, much like Finn himself, calling out to Mike to notice. Even if only on instinct, why would you want Mike to know if you didn't at least want him to reciprocate? If part of you didn't expect based on the trajectory of tropes that him finding out will lead to a happy ending for Will. What's the difference of him knowing if it isn't actionable? The answer is it is.

They're excited at Will's confession because they're excited about the idea of Mike knowing because they think hope that when he finds out, he'll do something about it.

And as an addendum, as I've speculated before: seldom do they comment on Mike during El's scenes, only ever lore and her independence, as is intended by the focus of her plotline, and in the case of Mike himself, the most I have heard is "ohhh, he wants to feel needed". They likely believe that Mike has feelings for El right now but that also doesn't bar them from believing that Mike and Will could end up together. That's how having an entire season left of a TV show works.

They are honestly not even rooting for a couple. At all. They are rooting for characters. If Mike says he wants to feel needed, they want him to feel needed. If Will says he wants Mike, they want him to have Mike. As I've said before, the general audience only want Mike and El together because MIKE told them it's what he wants. To quote a reaction to another show I recently watched "I'm rooting for [his] happiness, I just need to know what [he] wants so I know what to root for". That's it. It only becomes more than that if you became deeply, rigidly invested prior to this plotline. Otherwise, you'll trust what the characters tell you will make them happy and root for it. That trust in someone's word is how they set up the subversion, and that is how they'll break it back down.

Most people aren't pissed about love triangles unless they're pissed on behalf of either a character themself or the destruction of a character's arc to get there. Otherwise, if the characters say they're happy and are believable, then they're happy.

Edit: I have seen a bit more apprehension about Steve's confession, actually. Because Byler isn't a love triangle and emotionally they know it even if logically they don't yet.

[marimeeko]

Yo why the fuck is Katsuki and his relationship with Izuku getting done so dirty in this epilogue? Like he led the super suit project. He likely started it bc he couldn't dream of doing herowork without Izuku. All Might credited him when giving the suit to Izuku. He held out his hand. Izuku, I'm guessing, took his hand. Fine, good, wonderful.

But suddenly, Katsuki fucking asks him to start an agency with him so they can work together, literally their fucking DREAM SINCE THEY WERE KIDS? AND IZUKU SAYS NO?? What was this entire exercise for? What was showing us how deeply they MEAN to each other, how dependent on each other they are, just for izuku to casually shoot katsuki down with a smile, even FOR?

Please what the fuck. What the fuck am I looking at.

As far as we know yet, we dont know if the two get a conversation specifically regarding katsukis devotion to the suit project, we don't get Izuku getting to realize and appreciate what Katsuki has been doing for the last 8 years, how devoted the man is?

And yeah I know katsuki ain't doing it for clout or recognition or a pat on the back, but that doesn't t mean he doesn't deserve some form of emotional payoff for the whole thing(as well as the audience who was rooting for him!)

Ooof I know I know, I'm angry over a manga(I wasn't mad before) but this part has driven me up a wall bc...

Idk, katsuki just deserves better. He feels like n afterthought in this epilogue.

I know I know, I need to wait out the full release and see everything for myself but DAMN

I feel like he's getting done a little dirty in this.

Technically no izuku doesn't owe him for the gift HOWEVER this is a story with thematic elements and THEMATICALLY, izuku and Katsuki have been so intertwined and woven together, and played as so desperate to keep each other in their lives, to compete, to fight alongside each other, and then the PAYOFF is a SHRUG and a rejection to just that?? Thematically, this is UNSATISFYING AS FUCK.

Like, what is their entire arc if it just ends in a casual rejection?? What the fuck were we building up to and getting so emotionally invested in for their relationship? Please it's so anticlimactic. This was a story about THEM. There was no Izuku without Kacchan, there was no Kacchan without Izuku.

Katsuki Bakugou deserves better.

And 0 percent of this is about the shipping. It's simply what Horikoshi wrote when he wrote them as a duo. When he framed their relationship as the CORE, the heart and SOUL of the story. When he made "win to save, save to win" a running theme, when he made Izuku someone who would kill for Katsuki, and Katsuki someone who would die(and live) for Izuku.

Maybe as more info drops and actual releases happen, this post will age badly. Part of me really hopes it does and there's some sort of misunderstanding or something, bc I did NOT want the thread of BKDK(be it platonic, romantic or other) to end this...unfortunately.

Again. I don't give a shit about the shipping in this moment, in this rant/vent. It's not about that rn. It's literally just the setup not matching the payoff.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Can Ray be Redeemed? Is Sand the Solution?

I know Ray has upset a lot of people in Episode 8. I do find it really fascinating how quickly the tide has turned on him, especially when you compare his actions to those of our villains of the first arc: Boston and Top. Perhaps I'm in the minority, but I still choose to believe that Ray does care. He's hugely misguided but not heartless.

Let me firstly preface that none of what I'm about to say excuses Ray's behaviour but is an attempt to unpack why I still hold hope.

A child lost with no anchor

Ray is emotionally immature (which as cliché as it sounds, is a direct product of his upbringing - or lack thereof). He largely operates on basic needs, as a child would: 'I want. I need'. It's all based on serving the self. He seems wildly incapable of thinking very far beyond that. Like a child, he can barely take care of himself, let alone anyone else. He's pretty helpless on his own in a lot of respects. Most people grow out of this. Through knocks and hardship, we learn the world doesn't revolve around us and how to equip ourselves with healthy and appropriate means to navigate through life. Ray however, still seems to be stuck in his infantile box.

I often joke that Ray is a bit feral, but there is some truth to that. Ray's been left to his own devices for the majority of his life. So it's no surprise he's developed this 'me against the world' attitude which is volatile and defensive, but ultimately keeps him caged in said box.

These traits are abundantly apparent in his relationship with Mew. Ray is the vehicle for Mew's self-destruction, but all he sees is the exhilaration of having a 'partner in crime', someone to be in 'cahoots with'. Like a pair of naughty school kids getting into mischief, rather than an adult partnership. Ray is all about immediate gratification over long term fulfilment because (as children do), they don't possess the wisdom and experience to think ahead. Ray seems unable to grasp repercussions or consequences in his decision making. It's always act first, think second.

To put it simply, Ray hasn't been taught boundaries and how to respect them. He just gets criticised for crossing them which doesn’t help him learn. No one has had the patience to teach him why and how. To guide, to steer, to direct, to mentor. To educate rather than scold. Prevention rather than cure. As a result, everyone around Ray serves to clean up his messes rather than equip him with the ability to not create them in the first place. He falls into patterns of behaviour that no one has seriously attempted to break which has only amplified with adulthood. The longer those habits prevail, the harder they are to change.

Does Ray harbour ill-will or bad intent?

Is Ray the worst? In my opinion, no. (Not yet anyway - I might eat my words later, who knows). I've said this somewhere before but intent makes all the difference when judging someone's actions. Choosing to actively cause harm whilst being fully conscious of the impact versus triggering damage to occur as a symptom of your behaviour is vastly different. This is where Ray and Boston differ. Boston acts without remorse, he purposely and calculatingly makes choices that will cause the maximum degree of suffering. Whereas Ray's a loose cannon. He leaves a trail of destruction where he goes, due to a lack of control and means to channel how he feels in a constructive manner. Boston's victims are targets, whereas Ray's victims are collateral.

I don't think Ray means to purposely hurt or harm the people he cares about. Because in doing so, he'll push them away - which is precisely what he doesn't want. (Though saying that, Ray doesn't seem to give as much of a damn if it's people he isn't invested in, such as Top). Ray's world consists of what Ray needs. It's not that he doesn't care about a single person besides himself, he's just so wrapped up in his own needs to even gauge the bigger picture.

When others do point out to Ray that he's hurt them, he does tend to look guilty and taken aback, as if he's thinking, 'But I didn't know. No one told me. I had no idea my actions would cause you to be upset'. Painful levels of ignorance. But I also see a huge amount of internalised frustration. 'But why? Why didn't anyone explain this to me? How was I to know?'

Ray is capable of showing remorse, of displaying guilt. He's not cold-blooded. Anyone who can demonstrate compassion is capable of redemption. Ray is seen to be genuinely appreciative and grateful when people are good to him. He's fiercely protective over people he cares about. Ray was also willing to jump in when Sand gets a call from his mum being in trouble.

One thing I do have to stress is the difference in Ray's demeanour when he's severely drunk/high versus when he's sober. His addiction tends to amplify his most primal desires, his most 'childlike' traits. The uglier sides of Ray presented in their worst light, set to maximum. The raging tantrums, the absurd and unpredictable demands, an explosive and dangerous impulsiveness. People often refer to addiction as a form of sickness, which is worth noting when the person under scrutiny is effectively not well.

Learning by Example

Now let's talk about the huge importance of Sand in this equation.

Let me be clear - it's not Sand's responsibility to teach Ray how to grow up or behave more like a functioning adult. It's neither his duty to be a stand-in parent or caretaker. The unfortunate truth is that Ray doesn't have anyone in his life who plays that role. Who is the voice of reason. To keep him on the straight and narrow. In order to actually incite change, Ray needs to be receptive to whoever is trying to help him. We've seen he doesn't respond particularly well to the majority of people in his life. He's defensive with his father, his friends, deflective and pandering with Mew. The only person he's seen to show any signs of actually listening to and registering is Sand.

Whilst it's not fair on Sand, he might be the only person who has any real chance of encouraging healthy and positive growth in Ray. Because Sand loves Ray, he genuinely wants to see improvement for Ray's own good. I don't think it's a coincidence that we tend to see Ray's more endearing side when he's with Sand. His childlike qualities take on a sweeter, more harmless, playful tone.

He needs someone with an almost parental level of unconditional love to not give up on him, where others have thrown in the towel. Ray's character is essentially a personified cry for help. His mother was unable to cope. His father seems chronically exasperated and far too busy to actually be present. His friends have always seen him as bothersome and too much of a handful.

I personally don't want to write Ray off as a lost cause. Ironically, Sand may be the saviour he didn't ask for, but the one he really needs. Someone who can save him from himself.

[ooc-themis-cattails]

Can I just say how much I appreciate the diversity of ace identities in ISAT and all the detail about it?

(spoilers ahoy)

I love how at first Sif sees the porn scroll as "people doing fun things" but later admits it doesn't interest them at all. Their first response is to say what they know they're "supposed" to think it is, what everyone else is probably going to think it is. But then they learn that it's really ok to admit that they're not into it.

At first Sif is like "why does Beau like me?" but after a while they start to find him cute because they understand the emotion behind his feelings, and while they're not sure if they can actually take it as far as a sexual relationship, they're interested in figuring it out, because for them, that doesn't gross them out, it's just not a drive. This is so relatable to me and I love seeing it bc it's not the typical ace in fiction where like, this character is ace so we mustn't put them in a ship because we should assume it'd gross them out. Sif can be ace but not entirely horrified by sex, and Sif may be romantic (I don't know if even Sif knows whether they are romantic or not)-- I suspect they are demiromantic because it's the intimacy and familiarity of Beau's emotions that makes them start to feel things about the moment by the tree, to the point where they miss it when he doesn't try.

Mirabelle going through the dating service papers is the most wonderful scene because this is what it was like to be ace when I was in my early twenties. Most people didn't know it was a thing, and friends/family were very helpfully concerned that you should find a partner in order to not be alone, because the theory was that it was a basic human need for everyone. I did exactly what Mirabelle did, and had the same kind of reaction: "I have to pick one of these people to try dating because I have to figure out how to be sexually interested in someone so that I can do the whole partnership thing that everyone says you need to do in order to have a fulfilling adult life." Looking at pictures of people trying to figure out how to be attracted to them, or what you like, when the answer is really that you're just Not. And you're kind of torn because some part of you knows that this isn't going to work, but the other part of you legit believes that it's like staying hydrated, you have to do it for your own good even if you're not thirsty.

Mirabelle's being into fictional romance and shipping, just not into doing it herself, is also such a good detail. I'm not aro so I can't speak to that myself, but still, it's a thing. She's emotionally invested in the dynamics between people, she loves watching the details of how they play out, and that's completely separate from ever wanting to do it herself. I've seen it in others and I definitely get that from the perspective of an ace person reading smut-- you can very much enjoy a dynamic without wanting to BE in the dynamic yourself.

Sif coming to understand how attraction works from the outside: "Wait, you can't choose who you get a crush on? That explains so much!" The line made me wince because it's so self-deprecating-- they're probably thinking they're not good enough for Beau-- but I also very much appreciate the realism of how... nobody explains to you how attraction works because they assume you know what it's like, and you probably don't ask because it's embarrassing if they assume that you're an immature late bloomer with no experience of the world, rather than someone who will never have a libido no matter what they've seen. It's so easy to feel infantilized or to infantilize yourself if you're not comfortable with your ace identity. Both Mirabelle and Sif are young enough that they struggle a bit with whether this is really their identity or whether they've just not figured it out yet. In reality, at their age, this probably IS who they are. But they're also a bit hesitant to rule it out because it's really hard to know that you are NOT something, and (given that Mirabelle hadn't really considered the possibility that she's aroace) the culture doesn't seem to have a lot of representation or support for the idea. It's obvious to the player, well, if this is how they feel, then they're ace! But neither one of them can quite settle on that for sure. Because, unlike being attracted to someone where you can go "well that sure did happen", being not attracted to someone is a nonproof. So Mirabelle keeps trying, and Sif doesn't know that their reaction will seem valid to others (as evidenced by the change in how they describe the scroll). Odile, who is aro and who seems to be not entirely ace but isn't exactly the thirstiest plant in the garden, has a different position. She seems to pretty much know where she's at, which makes sense for her age, but we can't really tell if she's always been okay with it or if it's been an issue. We don't know if Ka Bu is a more uptight culture, or how long society has been normalizing non-hetero identities, but we do know she had no female role models, so if any of this heteronormative business was an issue, I imagine it contributed a lot to her feeling of outsiderness. I'd love to know more about how Odile's sexuality impacted her life but she's obviously not about to infodump it on a bunch of 20 year olds, so it remains a mystery. Nonetheless it's pretty great that there's an older aro character, illustrating that people have always been this way, it's just easier for young people to discover it now because they feel more allowed to not be heterosexual. [eta: @butterflyknifepoisoning reminded me that I've misremembered this and Odile isn't actually aro, she's had hatecrushes before and explained them to Mirabelle. Which I kind of sort of remember now! Not sure why I thought she was aro, my memory is crap sometimes. It's still a far cry from yamato nadeshiko, but yeah. Point taken]

...In the end, I find it extremely refreshing that there's a whole RPG party here and only ONE of them experiences sexual attraction, and it's a flamboyant gay-seeming dude with a poorly-kept-secret crush on an enby they/he. ISAT is so cool, it's the best aroace representation I have seen in fiction so far ever.

[lloydfrontera]

we've known for a while that novel lloyd and webcomic lloyd are two different characters but this really shows the kind of character the adaptation team has turned lloyd into.

like. i cannot begin to emphasize how not true this is for novel!lloyd. at all. he's constantly lying about his feelings both to others and to himself, a big part of his emotional conflict with javier is about javier wanting lloyd to show him how he truly feels and lloyd lying straight to his face about it, being dishonest about his emotions and feelings is a core part of his character and him finally letting himself be open and honest is meant to be the payoff of his emotional arc.

the way he feels and the things he shows and says are not the same.

heck not even his feelings and his thoughts are the same!

It was truly a strange thing. He was giving away a tremendous gift without anything in return. Yet, his heart was light and filled with relief. And even though he said it was a wasted opportunity or whatever, truthfully speaking, he didn't feel that way. Tsk. It's not because that hooligan Frontera made me weak, or because I feel guilty. I'm doing this because I'm tired of its whining. It is beyond annoying to hear Frontera whining, insisting, and begging for me to take responsibility and help out. Lloyd thought this was an opportunity for him to get rid of one less burden of his. It was the cost of getting rid of this pesky burden. This was an investment. So, he concluded that he wasn't being a fool. He was doing this for Arcos and Marbella Frontera. Lloyd reiterated these thoughts in his head and pulled himself together.

like. he will lie to himself about his reasons for doing kind things and justify them as actually selfish and self-interested when we know that's not true.

he betrays his feelings with his actions, him being a good person and being unable to hide it or change it despite his best efforts is also an integral part of his characterization but it's not something he willingly shows or something he's even willing to admit to himself much less to other people.

which. is exactly the opposite of what this scene was about? i think? like. the conflict here was,, someone trying to prove that lloyd's actions aren't actually selfless and that he has a hidden agenda and lloyd proving that notion wrong by rejecting. but,, that's exactly the opposite of what lloyd wants to project about himself?

like. this is a man that when told directly to his face that he's a good person who when left to his own devices will help others for no gain to himself by a higher being whose literal job is to judge souls' goodness he will just go "nuh uh" and insist everything he does is for his personal gain and not the greater good or anything like that.

he would not be emotionally honest enough to have this kind of realization and much less to share it with some fucking guy trying to kill him.

i just. i want to know so bad what the adaptation team wanted to prove with this interaction. like. what was the purpose of it. what did they want to tell us about lloyd by having him say this.

personally i find it so diametrically opposed to lloyd's characterization in the novel that i just. i don't understand how they could've come up with this scene if they understood his character in the novel like. at all.

but. is that anything new lmao

[missjomarch]

Hello my lovelies! I hope you had a fun and safe New Years Eve! I wanted to make a little post just showing my appreciation for the last year on Tumblr! I will admit that I am not the best at re-blogging posts that I love. Usually I'm reading between classes, assignments, or right before bed and don't often take the time to share my thoughts on some of the incredible literature on this site. With that being said, I wanted to make this post highlighting some of my favorite works, authors, and stories of 2024. As with all things of this nature, I am very sure some things got left out. This is in no way a comprehensive list of all the works I have enjoyed this year, but just a few I wanted to highlight. If I am in your likes or following, trust that I love and appreciate your presence. So without further ado...Here is Jay's 2024 Tumblr Favorites!

First and foremost is my favorite (only) big sis, of course. If you have not stumbled upon @ladylooch 's blog yet, you are missing a vital part of life. Her AUs are a literal rabbit hole. I started reading about Nico Hischier and I am now emotionally invested in the lives of two original character's and their love story. I love everything B publishes, but this year she gave us a beautiful new story of love and loss, and exploring that world with her has been the highlight of my year. Head over to her blog and jump into an AU, literally any of them. You won't regret it.

@puck-luck...guys. Andy is INSANE!!!! Everything she puts out is delicious, but I specifically fell in love with her 'New Beginnings' series this year and cannot recommend it enough. I don't even like Trevor Zegras like that y'all, but Andy is a literary genius so I fell in love. I have to save her writing for when I am home & in bed because I WILLLLL have a physical reaction. I kiss your brain, Andy girl. Mwah mwah mwah.

@star2fishmeg and @wineauntie , MEG AND IVY! My (sub) Luke Hughes loves and the leaders of the sub! Luke agenda. GOD!! I love you. Your writing, of course. But I also love that you share my most unhinged sentiments about Mr. Baby Hughes. Check out their blogs, friends. The vibes are good and the writing is even better.

This next one...you guysssss...@tkwrites. TK's 'Snap Shot' series had me HOOKED all year. I love Sarah and Quinn. The emotional turmoil and angst mixed with the heartfelt romance is a complex masterpiece. PLEASE go check it out if you're a Quinn Hughes enjoyer, or an enjoyer of good fiction. Also sub! Quinn agenda!!!!

@theemporium!!! I eat up everything my girl Cece writes, but Luke and Cherry specifically had me by the throat this year. Go read 'The Mortifying Ordeal of Being a 20 Year Old Virgin' NOWWW! RIGHT NOW!!

@mikkomacko...you GENIUSSS. Mob Boss Nico Hischier. Need I say more? I don't think so. If I could have a real Tumblr wrapped, part 4 & 5 of that series would be my most reread fics for 2024 I promise you. The dynamic of Nico and reader, bestie Timo, baby Alex (RIP, give him back Vegas). It is all perfect girly pop. Everyone go read.

I started reading for Will Smith this year because @yankstrash and I cannot be normal about Boston College hockey. @peachhcs Will Smith AU gave me everything I needed and MORE. I can't decide if I want to be Samy or be WITH Samy. They are just sooo *heart eyes*. Also Sub! Will agenda. (Damn, can y'all see a pattern?) Em, I love you and your work. Keep it up lovely.

Alrighty, that about sums it up. I know there is a million more authors and fics I missed, but these have been in the forefront of my mind for a long while. I hope you have all had the best holidays, and here is to another great year of escaping reality with y'all in 2025!! MWAH!