#so i went from gentle cruising to a hard stop and i'm so mad at myself for it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slippery-minghus · 1 year

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ah. have officially hit the point of exhaustion for this move that unless someone literally sets a plate of food in front of me, i'm not going to be able to feed myself.

well... i will be able to feed myself. because i'm amazing at breaking through my own limits no matter the cost, because support is not something i get to have. it's fine. i'm great at this. having support needs is irrelevant when there is no one *to* help. so i just gotta figure it out.

#personal #i will probably grudgingly drag myself to the kitchen within the hour #but the meat i was hoping to cook will have to go in the freezer #i have no clue what i'll have for lunch at work tomorrow but i can't worry about that now i'm sorry future me ;_;#i was doing so well on stamina for this move but then i had a really bad nights sleep and tried to self medicate but drank waaay too much #and ruined another night #so i went from gentle cruising to a hard stop and i'm so mad at myself for it #i didn't think ahead at all #just selfish 'how can i feel better NOW'#what about tomorrow?? huh??? how are you going to make it through the week now??;#if you had just *thought* then maybe things wouldn't be so hard #my therapist says i'm a very intentional person and i want to believe them #but i can't because i keep making these stupid thoughtless decisions #like why do i even have a brain if i'm not gonna fuckin use it #i'm so tired. and so hungry. and so anxious about these last few nights at my old place #i gotta get the fuck out of here

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