#so i think she doesn't actually understand that it's compulsory in a bad way for other people

[possamble]

i wonder if you have any thoughts about how marcille always seems to dislike it when falin wears men's clothing ( i bet she wears it out of its comfiness rather than because she prefers masc style tho, although i hope both lolol) and super short hairstyle

I wonder if it's just her interest in cute feminine fashion in general or maybe there's something more

For the clothes, at least, it's like... Marcille is probably more horrified by the clothing being actually made for and marketed to men than anything else. I bet she'd be fine if Falin wore the exact same things but they were in the women's section, or at least, branded unisex. She would be so so silly about arbitrary stuff like that in a modern setting.

The hair I think is a tangled issue of Falin's resemblance to Laios getting a little too obvious for Marcille's mental health, and Marcille's own very intense relationship with how (female) mages should treat their hair. Also, since it's mostly a joke doodle, I kind of took it as a flanderized Bad Taste Marcille being horrified by a woman with short hair because she buys into gender norms. Some people are... weird about what women do with their hair and unfortunately I can fully see how Marcille can be weird like that in a vacuum joke setting.

(there's also something to be said about how this kind of femininity policing could also be used as plausibly deniable homoerotic subtext. like, girl, why do you care that much about how cute another girl looks? hm?)

[detshin]

Omg I hope all of us shinran fanatics are not getting our hopes up! I feel like this whole thing could go a bunch of ways and if we are lucky- all of them! I’m so behind but am currently trying to catch up on anime but from what I’ve seen there has to be another suspicion arc for Ran coming I feel like. She’s gotten more lax about seeing him in crime scenes and seems to be helping when she can. And then the Rum and Mary situation I feel like will def be handled. There arc has gone for awhile- Sera’s especially. Not sure what will happen with Rum but I feel like Mary and them will of course figure that Conan is Shinichi but some way by the end of it they realize they need to back off and causing problems- more harm than good. Which they may realize from raising Rum’s suspicion even more and that they are ANNOYING. 😂 maybe just my wishful thinking on the end there. But it would also be good for all of that to trigger shinran. Like Ran hearing he was in the area (which would be to clean up Sera’s mess) and being upset that he can’t even spare his girlfriend a visit. Put him in a bad situation where of course he’ll do whatever he can to get another antidote to fix. IDK!!! I’m all over the place! I just hope this isn’t something that lets us all down 😂 I love seeing all the theories cause they are all so good!!! Let’s hope they aren’t better than what gosho actually has planned

Aaaahhhh!! Hiii ✨ it's been so long~ hope you're doing good 😊

Oh yeah. I completely understand you, no worries, I feel like I should probably read some of the latest stuff because I'm also a little lost but still.

I would loooove for some drama. Maybe not the miscommunication trope again cause it's always kind of used with them (although I guess it's compulsory to have it given their central plot line is a secret lmao). I would prefer for them to talk. I want them to have the most healthy development possible. Them not talking recently doesn't quite sit right with me and I've said it before but I'll say it again: I think it was a little bit of bad writing on Gosho's part. I don't know. It just doesn't really make much sense that they're shy NOW after everything.

And there seems to be a big agreement among a lot of us that Sera and Mary will do something. I don't know if they'll mess it up for Shinichi again and try to manipulate him by using Ran as a shield (if you give me the antidote I won't say anything or something like that) cause Sera has already done that and I see her capable of more or worse really. I don't know I'm not really liking thimeir behavior.

Let's cross our fingers and hope for something good!

[mithliya]

I'm still bisexual, so there are layers I probably don't understand entirely. but I've been speaking out against csa since I was a teenager, talked to all kind of activists, professionals and victims. and I truly think this compulsory imagery of how a victim should behave - queit, unless someone needs to boost their ego through a salvationist fantasy - is one of the cruelest mechanisms of patriarchy. I always knew I was a victim, came to close to death for that. but I used to think I was this bad case of a victim, you know? that if I talked out loud I'd make people who deserved the help look bad. the first time a psychologist told me more victims become hypersexual than completely repulsed I thought she was lying to make me feel better. no one really saw me as a kid, me displaying hypersexual behaviour at 13 was seem as the devil in me and not this desperate cry for help, it all got to my head. whole mess. but the point is I eventually started taking about it, and at some point I started mentioning these things in me I saw as a bad and contradictory. and that was when a lot more girls started approaching me - I work in education now so I cross a lot of cases. most of them were just glad to hear they weren't alone, that their desperate attempts to cope didn't erase what happened to them being wrong, that they weren't broken and dirty beyond help or something. and it's strange of me to even compare, because honesty what they're attacking you for doesn't add to 3% of what I admitted and it's so revolting that it's enough to victim blame. nothing we do cam ever be enough, it's all so clearly a trap to keep people from getting help... but I'm still sure you've had the same effect to many. it's so hard to talk about it, worse to hear those things from people who should have your back. but it still makes a difference. so thank you! I hope one day we are at least free of the expectancy that people with different personalities and experiences must all react the same. and I hope so so much good comes in your life! you come across as so kind and patient here. and you deserved so much better, may it come soon

thank you for this v sweet message anon ❤️ i can relate to what you said. hypersexuality also came about as a result of my trauma and it was confusing and would disgust me. things would happen to me and i knew i didn’t want it, it showed i didn’t want it, id react really badly during & after.. but i felt like it was my fault bc i was hypersexual to begin w so i must want it and just have sth wrong with me to not actually, truly want it when it happens. i was not a good victim either. i reacted to my abuse by becoming withdrawn, lashing out at my loved ones, pushing ppl away and at the same time accepting a subservient position to the person who wouldn’t leave me alone. it was a confusing time and a part of me is glad i was so dissociated for most of it bc at least i don’t remember all of it and only remember it in flashes of memory.

I hope one day we are at least free of the expectancy that people with different personalities and experiences must all react the same.

same here. it’s pure stupidity to me that some people don’t seem to comprehend that even if we have similar experiences, they’re not identical & we as individuals aren’t identical. so we’re not all going to react the same. it’s also annoying that ppl think if ur a traumatised lesbian, there’s only one possible reaction. as if mental illness and trauma can only appear one way and only impact you one way. as if those things can’t interact w ur sexuality in different ways. it’s stupidity. i assume they’d eventually realise that it doesn’t make much sense how they perceive and treat traumatised women & esp traumatised lesbians but by the time they do, i doubt any of us will be around and willing to accept their apologies.

[sincelastsession]

It hurt to hear from my mom today that my dad only wants to know if there's something wrong with my heart and told my mom to tell me that he doesn't want to talk to me or know anything about me other than that.

You know I was polite and tried. He got terribly abusive, I had a pretty nasty reaction to what he said over the call. I showed you because I wanted to be honest.

I don't like that he makes himself look innocent of literal crimes and abuse towards me and flips out so hard-core at me to the point I have these reactions and compulsory issues.

I spoke to my mom about a few things. She wants me to work on being more positive and various things like coping mechanisms.

I did explain to her right now it's extremely hard to be what she wishes to see because my brain feels broken.

Everyone seems to think since I was in Regions is when my overtalking started. Mom as a psych nurse thinks it's the trauma I went through and possibly a medication they put me on and how they ripped me off a benzo cold turkey. It was super traumatic and I was flinging my arms and legs and couldn't control anything and felt like I was having waking seizures and I had to go to a neuromuscular doctor about it but they couldn't figure it out. Then my dad attacked me and threatened me a ton then there was covid and a car wreck that gave me a concussion and I still have one pupil that gets bigger than the other because oschner's er failed to check me and she had to bring me back. I've had some memory issues worse since that all right before covid dunno if my brain is actually damaged but I'm guessing to some degree it is. Sometimes I think it might be a petuitary issue or adrenal or cortisol and dopamine imbalance. I've really never had a Doctor that wanted to look very far into it or explain it in a manner in which I could understand because believe it or not even though I have a special interest in medical I actually look at medical things less than I used to because going to the Doctor is very exhausting and I've had to go so much in the past 5 years that other than making sure that my Doctor is not misdiagnosing me I don't want to look at anything. I mean unless of course it's a new thing that's fascinating like that crazy new sexually transmitted fungal infection that's like ringworm from hell or something. That was a wild read.

Anyway I saw Robin and she's the one that mentioned Regions to my dad and she threatened to put me somewhere because she didn't like that I was on anxiety meds and used to work for the olol cope team.

Just because I can sometimes speak well doesn't mean that I'm not having a tremendous amount of anxiety.

My grandmother was on Valium her entire life and would leave the house to go shopping and drive around and she had very bad anxiety and apparently my grandfather abused her and she ended up saving her meds and drinking a bunch of wine.

My mother had caught her once before trying to kill herself.

Everyone says I'm like her but the only things I see that are the same is our body build, some of her taste, her anxiety issues, and that's about it.

My other grandmother on the maternal side had a head injury when she was young but she was still incredibly smart. She was an art teacher. I have her sense of humor which was kinda mean and dark. I know she took meds for anxiety but no one else remembers it. She likely had EDS like I have hypermobility eds. You can tell by the way skin ages and collegen.

Both my grandmothers were art teachers. Different ability though. One made it her life the other didn't.

I don't know very much about my father's family because they were very secretive. They still are.

Both of my grandfather's worked with cattle one had a dairy farm for a short period of time then he went into a state job selling insurance I believe and my other grandfather I believe did door-to-door sales then he did time clocks and then he also did black Angus cattle for meat.

My mom's father is the one who drunkenly molested and did things to me.

That was excused by everybody and I was made to feel like I was making it up when I tried to bring it up to begin with and my mom does not remember me bringing it up to begin with and my grandmother was angry but did not do anything. And it was forgotten about until I remembered in my 20s. And then both of my grandparents died on my mom's side my grandmother first followed by my grandfather.

And my dad's mom died first and they claimed it was a heart attack even though it was very obvious she killed herself and nobody wants to talk about that because everybody wanted to claim insurance money. And then his father actually died in a nursing home completely neglected and I didn't know that nobody was helping him and he was doing bad or I would've been there myself if I had been asked. He got dementia pretty damn bad before he passed away and he had a pretty bad temper and he had hearing issues and my dad is very similar but my grandfather on my dad's side was never awful to me he was a good grandfather he was an alcoholic but he did not leave his office or yell or act out when I was there. He would just put alcohol in his coffee or take nips from a flask and I was little and didn't know what he was doing.

He had an odd fascination with lighting candles and then carving them down while they were lit and I have the table that he used to use and do that on and it was just a weird thing he did

He owned a hunting camp in saint francisville and some other property and when he passed away everybody wanted to sell it and it broke my heart because I could have had some land to put a house on and live in peace. But it wasn't my choice because I was not his child.

I have to say that my grandparents raised me about 2/3 of the way in my life. My parents would be working and so they would watch me when I was sick and not doing well. So at a young age I was mostly around adults constantly doctors and my grandparents and I didn't really have too many childhood friends because everybody thought I was weird and the only childhood friend that I had was Kelley.

And Kelly developed drug addiction over time and it consumed her and she got better and then she and I were going to meet up I had planned to go over there because I was ready to be her friend again because I was tired of the lying before and she happened to overdose the day I decided I was going to go see her and my mom had to Let me know that she was dead.

And I did not realize that I was in love with her until after she was dead. I wasn't in love with her since I was a little kid. And I have never told my parents that. And I never told her that. I just remember thinking that she was the most beautiful girl on earth and I knew that I wasn't supposed to think that and I was maybe a first grader when I first got a crush on her and I just I think I talked about it to somebody at some point and they said well you just happened to really love your friend and then after that I was like oh that's just you just love your friends and It's not I'm in love with her and I thought I misunderstood for years and it was only after she passed away that I realized that it wasNot just because she was my friend.

I can't go visit her kids because they look like copies of her and they don't even know who I am.

And then the other love of my life died. He had both parents pass away and he moved to Hawaii to be with a childhood sweetheart who inevitably dumped him and he was found floating out in the ocean about a mile out 1 day and that's how he died he died of drowning.

And they weren't people that understood me and people that understood me and people that understood how bad my home life was

Cole used to tell me that I needed to run away from my parents before they ended up hurting me and I couland they did hurt me a lot

Kelly used to come and pick me up and smoke me out and drive around for a few hours and drop me back at home when my parents had gone to sleep just so I could escape the house because she knew how bad it was.

I don't hate you Joshua. I've been very mean and even if you don't care I'm still sorry if I've hurt your feelings.

I don't expect you to understand me fully.

I did realize I was triggered today because of how my dad has done this before and I was scared you wouldn't see through the Oscar winning performance he put on. He manipulated Robin into believing many things about me were and weren't true. He is a big part of the reason I lost my shit and then was pressured into going into Regions where Dr. Khan and his staff broke HIPPA and ruined me.

I was not doing well but I was not doing this bad before I went and Covid started. I was going to sue them all. I needed assistance and I was blown off. They wouldn't release my files to me or Dr. Todd. He told me he had many patients he had to fix due to Dr. Khan's negligence and urged me to sue. I should have never been given Geodon. They never got in touch with Dr. Todd or the pharmacy. I was traumatized by other patients there. I watched the staff abuse and ignore patients. I was forced to watch a Ted talk with a detailed story of child abuse along with other patients especially one with DID who was at the time her child alter. I got told I was going to be raped by a criminally insane man. They did NOTHING about it. Patients that had been there a while very obviously sedated told me about how one guy would expose himself and start to assault patients. I was followed around by a schizophrenic patient that was paranoid I was an agent and since I have a mustache and beard that grows and couldn't shave that I was called really inappropriate things until I finally had enough and blasted him and asked the fishbowl why the fuck he wasn't on an antipsychotic. They brought me where I could see patient files and information into the fishbowl. I read those things out loud that were visible to me and asked them if they knew what HIPPA was.

I showed you my reaction to Dad's abuse because I couldn't record the call and the things he's said to me and I am trying to be transparent and trust you to understand that I don't just sit there and think out things to hurt him. It happens fast. I'm in a compulsive flashed out type state.

I should not have said anything.

I just wanted to talk to my dad. He was so awful to me. He can't speak to me and doesn't want to because he got his feelings hurt after attacking me.

I was just tryna tell him about the farmer's market, the neighbors, and fill him in on things he missed. I didn't do anything right. I didn't speak right. I was full of shit. I couldn't get to the point fast enough. He told me he didn't care. He told me to shut up. He flipped out when I asked him a question that he misread as smartass. He hung up then called back telling me I had to follow his rules but then tried to tell me I should know his rules. Nothing he said made sense. He said my repeating triggered him. I repeated because he kept knocking my thought process off track telling me to shut up or get to the point or "when is this going to be over" Then when I asked him to stop and told him he was being inappropriate and rude to me and told him it was not ok to treat me like this and threaten me he threatened me again and I asked him what his diagnosis was because hed said he had the same diagnosis as me and I have several so i wanted to know if it was all of them or one and then told him he should seek help for it if it was causing him to act out and treat me like shit he thought i was being a smartass and screamed fuck you over and over till I hung up.

He will hang up on me for much less. If I say hello and don't remember to say "how are you" or if I am holding my breath as I do because of anxiety and make a huff noise breathing he has hung up...he gets me worked up then hangs up then calls back or waits till I do because it hits the abandonment rejection wound among other things and I just don't lie down anymore and let him treat me like shit dude. Even when I "complied" he was still trying to groom me into his ideal of a perfect daughter and poison me against my mother.

They've both tried to get me to take sides and at times said if I didn't I could rot with mh dumb bitch mother. I have it told her that he plans to put a lean on her house so she can't force sell the house he's trying to fix up and sell now because I didn't want him to sell it and neither did my sister awhile back and I still don't want either of them to sell it but he swore me to secrecy about him putting a lean on her house to just fuck her over

I was treated like I had to pick aside since I was a tiny child. They used me as a weapon against one another. They still try to do it.

I never wanted to pick a side I just wanted to be a kid

I don't feel like I ever got to be a kid.

[mazeinthemiroh]

guardian angel

Pairing: Seonghwa x female! reader

Genre: romance, angst, fluff, slight crack, highschool! au, bad boy! au, happy ending

Word count: 3.8k

Requested?: yes

Warnings: cursing, a lot of cliche themes, mentions of smoking and drinking, elements of crack, potential sexual assault (doesn't actually happen), suggestive, wooyoung being his awesome self

Summary: Seonghwa is known for being a delinquent. Nothing phases, and no one messes with him. But there is someone who he is drawn to. Someone he can't quite keep off his mind.

Author's Notes: I had so much fun writing this you have no idea. It took way longer to write than I wanted but I need it to be perfect. This fic does have some mature theme so do be warned! Thank you so much anon for requesting this. I really hope you all enjoy. Let me know what you think!! <3

The whole concept of having a guardian angel was comforting. intriguing, almost. Having someone watching over, protecting you, perhaps without you even knowing. That was a comforting thought.

Or at least for you it was. But in this compulsory religious studies class, most kids were seconds away from falling asleep. The teacher droned on with her monotone voice, flicking through the PowerPoint presentation, which looked like a half-hearted effort, put together last night.

Not that it mattered. No one was paying attention anyway, all except the handful of teens who wanted to get the best out of their mediocre education system.

"Silence please" the teacher mumbled weakly at the class. Poor Miss had no presence, no impact. The hard-working students, such as yourself, usually sitting in the front row, could usually hear her feeble voice. But they weren't the ones who needed to hear it.

"She said shut up!"

A voice with authority. Everyone collectively gasped, quick to close their lips now as they turned to face the principal, who walked in not moments ago. She was the one to be feared.

And yet there were still some people who just didn't fear her enough.

"You boys at the back" she snarled as she pointed over to the back of the classroom.

Ahh, the boys at the back. There's such a thing to be said about a high school's social hierarchy. It followed the same, cliche, stereotypical pattern as every American high school rom-com movie does. It is the same each time, each year. At the bottom: nerds, geeks, unconventionally attractive pupils, or just simply people who strive to succeed academically which for some reason makes you a loser. And at the top? Hot, rich mean girl gangs who absorb their power by thriving off the fear of the 'low-lives' below them. And, of course, the boys at the back.

"Why are you still talking? Did you not hear me the first time?"

One of them mumbled and snickered but it was hard to tell who. Or at least, for the principle it was.

It was quite clearly Wooyoung. Known for never knowing when to shut up, Wooyoung was the one to not understand when things went too far, or when a situation was too serious. And he was the one to get away with everything.

"Who's still talking?"

Wooyoung decides, the clown that he is, to turn to Seonghwa in this instance, with the usual shit-eating grin on his face, making it seem like Seonghwa was the accomplice.

"Was it you, pretty boy? To the front of the class now!"

Seonghwa glared daggers into Wooyoung as he reluctantly grabbed his stuff and got up to walk right to the front.

Even just walking through the class, you could see how much power Seonghwa would hold. Girls would giggle and swoon over him, whispering to each other about how good he looked today. Boys would cough awkwardly as he walked passed them, pretending not to be even remotely attracted to him. And the nerds at the front wouldn't even dare look at him. Especially you.

Which was typical because the only desk that was free at the front for him to sit at was the one directly next to yours.

So, as you screamed internally at yourself for not choosing another seat at the start of the year, Seonghwa settled down next to you, throwing his stuff on the desk and sitting back leisurely on his seat. he let out a long, dramatic sigh.

"Good. Now the rest of you need to get on, you will be tested on this!" Everyone let out a low groan at this, and then the principal promptly left without another word.

The usual rumble of conversation started up again. You stared downwards at the work in front of you, trying to concentrate on something, anything that wasn't the hot guy next to you.

"Hey."

Your heart stopped. Breath hitched up in your throat as you strangled on a previous inhale. Is he talking to me? You thought to yourself. Eyes wide with fear, anticipation, and excitement, you decided to do the unthinkable.

You turned towards him.

Never had it occurred to you that, not only was he talking to you, but he was looking at you too. So as you mustered up the courage to turn your head towards him, you were faced with two, large, deadly brown orbs staring at you, eating you alive by the intensity of his gaze. This was the closest he had been to you. And the bravest you had ever been to dare to take his features in this close. You couldn't help yourself. Eyes trailing along his smooth, tanned skin, jawline so sharp you were convinced you could cut yourself on it if you touch it. Jet black hair styled to frame his face so expertly; so precise was the wisps of his fringe, and although he kept brushing his hair back with his long fingers, the stubborn stray hairs would remain rested neatly on his forward. Perfect. Strong cheekbones, magnificently angled nose, luscious lips that hid a devious tongue.

And all this time you were staring at him. But by God did he stare back. Reality only hit you once you were done drinking in his features, savouring the human painting before you as if he was the last painting left on earth. You only blinked your eyes downwards once you were conscious and very much aware that your wide eyes and agape mouth had made his eyes sparkle with curiosity.

"Hi" was all you could muster. A feeble, pathetic excuse of a word that he could barely hear. He felt the corner of his lips pull up at your response.

"What are we actually supposed to be learning?"

You were surprised at his question. Did he actually wanna do the work? Or did he just want to talk to you? Or.. or... what was happening?? You blinked in response before clearing your throat.

"Well, today's lesson is about angels. You know, the different types of angels, and different religious interpretations of what they are like. Miss just finished talking about Guardian angels and-"

"Oh, I don't actually care sweetie," he chuckled lowly as you blushed ferociously at the sudden pet name. You suspected he was mocking you, but all the while his eyes held a warm curiosity as he continued to gaze at you. "I don't believe in angels or anything like that, tsk."

Perhaps he was passing the time. Making the lesson go faster for himself by making conversation. That's how you viewed it anyway.

"Why did you ask then?"

Your sudden boldness shocked you both, but you hid it well. His eyebrow quirked up with interest.

"I just wanted to that pretty voice of yours," he hummed, his tone a mixture of playful banter and flirtatious intent. It made your cheeks feel warm.

"Do you believe in any of this crap then?" He queried, suddenly looking away and taking a much more serious interest in his broken pencil, which he played with masterfully and with great skill between the fingers of his right hand.

You tried not to get defensive about his ignorant and outright rude attitude. Part felt that that's what he wanted. He wanted to lure you into a trap, an argument, and all just for his amusement.

"I like the idea of guardian angels," you paused to look away from him, your gaze sinking to your desk again, "having someone to watch over you like that... I don't know... the whole idea makes me feel less... less lonely."

That was your truth. This wasn't the first conversation you envisioned having with him. It felt a bit strange, a bit peculiar. Too deep too quick, especially with someone like him.

You expected him to scoff at this considering his previous remark. But you felt him gaze at you once more. He didn't tut, he didn't hum in response. He just turned away without another word.

That was the first time you interacted with Seonghwa. And you had a feeling, deep down, that it would be your last.

I mean, who were you kidding? You both guys ran in different circles. Had different lives, different friends, different... everything.

You knew this, and you knew this well. So why were you still thinking about him?

You felt he was undoubtedly out-of-your-league in all aspects. Looks, attitude, social status. Stuff that meant absolutely nothing to you but supposedly meant everything to everybody else. It was infuriating to tolerate these mindsets on a daily basis and yet you find yourself enduring and getting swallowed but the same expectations these mindsets create.

As you wallow in a stream of these thoughts you do not think for a second that the boy you now had eyes for - the delinquent who took a shine to you for reasons you could not explain - would be thinking about you in the same way.

But he was. And he hated it.

He wasn't a ladies' man like Wooyoung was. Wooyoung thrived when given attention from a pretty girl and he would do anything to impress them. Seonghwa was just not like that.

Rather, he preferred to flirt around, subtly. Throw a few winks here and there, biting his lip for too long as he made fleeting eye contact with as many girls as he could. He was quiet in his flirtatious endeavours, but he never really meant anything.

So he doesn't know why he starts feeling this way about you.

"What's the matter with you then?" Wooyoung nudged his friend, who seemed quieter than usual. The usual gang of boys met on the rooftop of the art building in their school. They would usually stay back well after hours, long until it gets dark. No one knew they were there, and jumping the gates was easy when they need to exit.

So that's where they were, vaping sloppily and drinking uncontrollably. The bottles of beers accumulated around the overflowing rubbish bin. It was surprising that no one caught on to their activities considering they were shamelessly loud, with zero fear of getting found out, perhaps because they got away with everything.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Seonghwa shrugged his friend off, staring down at the glass bottle in his hand.

Wooyoung isn't stupid. He knows when something isn't quite right. Better yet, he is persistent. Stubborn, even. Annoyingly determined to chip away at you until you crack. He gets what he wants.

"Must be some lucky girl for you to be thinking about her so much," Wooyoung teased as the rest joined in to chuckle. Seonghwa scowled at the boy, glaring at him in a way that would send chills to someone's heart. It was a shame that he was glaring at Wooyoung, who was simply brimming with audacity. Seonghwa knew better than to get into an argument with him, so he just kept quiet.

What Wooyoung said made him think though. Why was he thinking about you? Why you, specifically? His calculating eyes shifted from one object to another as he tried to pattern in his mind some sound reasoning.

Perhaps it was the way you looked at him. Well, other people stared at his face on a daily. He just looked so perfect. So absolutely stunning. As Seonghwa looked back he realised you had the same gaze and yet something different. It was obvious you admired his appearance, perhaps even shocked when seeing him up close. However, he recalled a certain trace of curiosity. Of excitement. And as you stared at his face like this, he didn't realise was studying yours.

Yet, there was something in the way you interacted with him; the spike of boldness that shot out of you was something he didn't quite expect. Most girls either stammer like idiots when trying to talk to him, or they screech and giggle and touch him playfully when he doesn't want them to. There's no in-between. So admittedly, he was caught a bit off guard by how you responded to him.

And he liked being caught off guard.

It had been a long ass day and you were, quite frankly, fed up. With your last lesson just finished you were so, so ready to go. Shoving your notebooks into your already heavy bag, you were stopped by the teacher.

"Y/N, I was just wondering if you wanted to join some extracurricular activities? It would really boost up your grades and would make your CV look excellent-"

Ah yes, of course. Here comes the lecture all the bright pupils get which guilt trip them into joining some weird club that no one goes to. You've heard this all before, and you weren't considering it now. It's a shame your teacher caught you at the wrong time because you were barely able to keep your eyes open from pure exhaustion as she spoke to you.

"Thanks Miss, but I've been really busy lately.."

You could see the disappointment in her face but you were so done with the day that you didn't even care.

"Just think about it, okay?"

Heaving a sigh, you slung your bag over your shoulder while the teacher left the classroom.

You knew one of the boys was still there, lurking at the back somewhere. The same group of boys always stayed back and you couldn't possibly think why. And you didn't dare to ask.

"Hey, Princess~"

You couldn't pin that voice on a face. It sounded familiar, but all the boys' voices sounded the same. Only Wooyoung's voice stood out the most since he talked so damn much. And, of course, Seonghwa's...

"You joining a stupid little club for your favourite teacher, eh?"

It was so petty you could've laughed. You turned around to face whoever this boy was, and his name escaped you. His name didn't matter to you regardless.

It unnerved you that he was by himself. Sure, having a whole group of them sneer at you wasn't ideal, but being alone with this guy after school hours made you want to run. But you didn't.

Your unamused face made the boy chuckle as you stared directly into his eyes. You wish you hadn't looked there, because surely you must have looked terrified by now; how he stalked up to you with confidence and intensity of a crow attacking a fresh piece of roadkill.

You stood your ground.

"No, I decided not to."

End of conversation. Done. Dusted. Swept under the rug.

Surely?

He was at an uncomfortable distance now, too close for someone you don't know. And even closer for someone you didn't want to know.

"Good girl."

You shivered. The dread built up in the pit of your stomach.

"Still," he mused, "a strip club doesn't sound so bad."

He had you pressed up against the table as his hands started for the strap of your vest top, a finger curling around it as he slowly started to pull it down. You were paralysed. Eyes wide with fear and disbelief and confusion. You should've run, you told yourself. You should've run you stupid girl.

"Get your fucking hands off her!"

There was a voice, familiar in its depth, but not so familiar in its intensity and rage. Both of you snapped your head over to find Seonghwa, his eyes emoting the most indescribable anger someone could ever feel.

"What the fuck is wrong with you man, let us have our fu-"

It was too late. A fist thrown to the face was enough to send the boy flying. He was weak as he crashed down dramatically into one of the desks. Seonghwa moved to him and kept going. Punch, kick, slam. The boy would be bruised for weeks.

But he ran off anyway, stumbling out of the class. The heavy footfall of his feet echoed down the hall.

You and Seonghwa stared at each other in silence.

His eyes were full of regret. Regret that he didn't stay behind with his 'friend.' Regret that he let you see this violent side of him. Regret that he wasn't there for you. If he hadn't come in at the right time-

Your eyes were filled with sorrow, vision clouded by the beads of tears that formed at the bottom of your eyes. You had felt so alone, so out of your depth and in danger.

"Thank you so much," you burst into tears. You grabbed him and sunk your head into his chest and sobbed into the fabric of his t-shirt. Holding him close into a feeble, yet certain, hug. It was not something you intended to do, but in the overwhelming situation you found yourself in, you felt you owed him the world.

So a hug will do for now.

"Of course he's out of the group, what are you even saying? It's no problem! He was a twat anyway."

Wooyoung sucked on his lollipop with such passion and vigour that Seonghwa thought he was going to inhale and choke on it, which admittedly would've been quite funny.

They sat by themselves on the rooftop, dangling their feet over the edge. They could see the sunset very clearly. It was beautiful. Wooyoung teased that it was almost... romantic! Of course this caused to threaten to push him over the edge for.

"You really pummelled him in though. He's got a black eye and everything. I never thought you were the type," Wooyoung said through slurps, talking with his lollipop still in his mouth.

Seonghwa stared at the sun ahead, its rays giving his face an ethereal glow.

"I don't care."

There was a moment of silence. Seonghwa's eyes stared ahead.

"I can't let anything happen to her."

"Why though?"

"I don't know. I don't even know!"

"I do."

"Huh?"

"You L word her."

Wooyoung chose this moment to flutter his eyelashes mockingly at Seonghwa.

"Shut up."

"You do!"

"That doesn't make any sense I don't even know her."

Seonghwa may have said this but, in his heart, he knew he was wrong. Deep down he knew you. He had watched over you, observed the way you talk, what your interests are, what classes you liked the most that make your eyes light up, and what classes you hated and never put your hand up in. All from the back of the class, he would peak every now and then just to make sure you were okay. Like a guardian angel-

"Maybe you want to know her."

Seonghwa looked at his friend with an eyebrow quirked.

"How does your eyebrow not hurt from you doing that so much I will never know..."

"You're a pain in my ass, Wooyoung."

Seonghwa chuckled and gazed at Wooyoung fondly. It was nice having a friend like him to talk to about anything. Wooyoung can be crazy at times but he always has his back, that's for sure.

"Don't worry, I got this for you."

Seonghwa scrunched up his face in confusion.

"Wait wha-"

"Shhh, don't worry. I have an idea~"

"Not another one of your crazy-ass ideas."

"Don't worry. You're gonna love this one!"

The end of the day on the last day of term felt like such a rush. Nothing exciting happened but you didn't expect much to begin with.

"Bye, I'll see you after summer," you hugged one of your friends goodbye, giving them a squeeze. It would be lonely without them for all this time, as they were going on holiday. There was a certain emptiness you felt at the bottom of your heart when you watched them walk away. You felt there was nothing to look forward to until they returned. It was a shame.

The hallway was starting to lull down with its usual chaos and students fled the school as soon as the bell rang. One by one, students disappeared until only a few remained around you.

As you fiddled with the keys to your locker, on opening it a piece of paper slipped out of it.

Your eyes sparkle with curiosity as you leaned down to pick the paper up. It was small and folded. Your fingers worked at opening it up, revealing slanted handwriting in black biro pen:

'Meet me on the art room roof.

~ Your Guardian Angel'

Your eyes glossed over now, staring at the paper. It was hard for you to examine what you had felt. It wasn't disbelief or shock or confusion. It was certainty. Relief. Comfort.

Smiling to yourself, you did as you were instructed. There was a quickness in your step, a skip of hope and anticipation as you marched to the other side of the school.

Up the stairs to the art classroom, opening the fire exit door and up some more stone stairs, cold and loud with each footstep. And up you were, on the roof, the sky now open to you with open arms as you were embraced by a warm breeze.

There stood Seonghwa, his slicked back hair shining in the sun. His shirt was untucked and hanging over his black trousers, and he wore his usual white bomber jacket on his back, which you thought, at this moment, looked like two angel wings. Perhaps you were romanticising, but it was his fault.

His back was to you as he stood near the edge of the roof. It was like he was posing, like he was in a movie and this was his action shot. As the drone camera circulates around him, getting a 360 cinematic shot of him, his face would be revealed as daring, determined eyes shining in his passion. That's what you had imagined.

"Is this my guardian angel?"

There was no movement when he heard your voice. You expected him to turn around but maybe he had other plans. Maybe he wanted you to come to him. On debating about it in your mind, you decided to give in, shuffling closer until you were right beside him, staring out into the distance just like he did.

"I don't believe in that crap, you know that."

This statement didn't hurt you. His voice was soft, playful, almost melodic. There was a purposeful gentleness about his words in which no man had ever spoken to you before.

A silence was shared between you both, and you couldn't discern whether it was awkward or just simply... was.

"But I like the idea of it," he continued. "The whole idea makes me feel less... lonely."

You recognised your own words that you had said to him before, and suddenly the bubbling sensation of hope erupted in your heart.

He turned to you with a fond smile, and at that moment your eyes connected. You had never felt so at ease when gazing into someone's eyes before. Seonghwa had a warm reassurance that no one could quite match.

Pulling you close to him, he embraced you gently, head atop yours as you both gazed out at the view together. It felt so intimate, like you had both shared a secret, that could never be told to another soul. It felt safe, comfortable. It just felt right.

Secure in his arms, shielded, protected: that's where Seonghwa wanted you to be, always.

[stanzoeywade]

Veronica x MC tinder!au

I headcanon Veronica to look like Barbara Lopez, and as you can see this headcanon was inspired by this tweet.

Summary: in which you are paired with Veronica for a project and she doesn't respond to your emails but you match with her on tinder. The both of you find each other attractive but you're both gay disasters. Also in this au the MC doesn't meet Poppy on her first day of school, so they don't know about the top 3 girls of Belvoire. (Where poppy is a switch (fite me), Veronica is a top.)

Warnings: swear words, and maybe toothache inducing fluff? Thigh riding smut.

Taglist: @somewillwin @belvoiresqueenbee @origmansello @clownery-is-a-new-personality @kamilahtrash @poppysminion @poppysimp @captain-hanadeleine @poppysmc @iiizdumb @uselesslesbianfr @scattered-to-the-winds @idiot-justidiot @toyhenoctus @coldbatfriendroad​

So it begins in one of your compulsory classes, where you have to be partnered up for a big project, like 20-30% of your final grade.

Cue your professor paring you up with someone who you've never seen before in class, and you're confused because wtf??? Who is this Veronica Lombardi person??? And why is everyone staring at you with mixed reactions, some look jealous while some look like they feel bad for you.

After class, you make you way to your dorm room and you ask Zoey if she knows Veronica Lombardi and that's how you find out about the whole ranking system in Belvoire. You learn that Veronica is at the number 3 spot as one of the most popular girls on campus. You're not really interested because in all honesty it sounds too much like high school and you're already over it.

Considering that she was going to be your partner for the project, you decide to email her so that the both of you can divide the work equally, as well as ask if she has any days where she is free so that you can discuss the project in person.

It's been a week and you still don't have a response, and you're starting to think that you'll have to do the project alone. Hopefully your professor will take that into consideration once she marks you paper.

You try to start to work on the project but you're quick to realise that you're bored, so in your frustrated state, you open tinder hoping to find an outlet for your stress.

Imagine your surprise when you're matched with your project partner, who messages you. It reads "Sup babe, what are you doing tonight?"

You feel your blood pressure rise as you type angrily. "I'M DOING OUR JOINT PROJECT YOU BITCH!"

She replies with the emojis "😤😒" alongside a gif of someone saying "Rude".

You're about to lose it when another message catches your attention. "Are you from Sociology 101? I haven't attended any of the lectures, it's boring af. But you know what wouldn't be boring? We could hook up 😜" it reads.

"Un-fucking-believable" you mutter to yourself as you read the message. 'Who the hell does she think she is?' - you think to yourself, annoyed.

"Are you seriously flirting with me right now?" you text as you feel angrier each passing second.

The only response you get is a selfie of Veronica smiling cheekily at the camera, which is followed by a message saying "I promise I'd be more fun than sociology. 😉"

You barely resist the temptation of pulling your hair out and respond with "look, I get it you're rich, but just because you can get away with not doing the work, it doesn't mean that I can." Veronica looks at your response and can't help but feel a pang of guilt.

Feeling guilty, Veronica messages you. It says "look babe, I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you, we can meet up and do the project together. And maybe when we finish we can do something more fun? 😜😉"

Letting out a resigned sigh you begrudgingly ask for her address and she's all too happy to respond. "I live on campus, I'm part of the Zetas so just walk over and I'll meet you outside."

Freshening up, you make yourself look presentable and you start to make your way to the sorority house. You're surprised to see someone waiting outside, and you assume the person to be Veronica.

As you get closer you're taken aback because of Veronica. There she was in all her glory. I mean you knew she looked attractive judging by the photo she sent you, but pictures can't exactly compare to seeing the real thing.

You can't help but think that Veronica is gorgeous, I mean with that face she could be a supermodel and ohh my god she has legs that go on for days.

Snapping out of your daze, you just see Veronica flashing you a charming smile.

You weren't the only one checking the other person out though, Veronica couldn't help but think that you were cute, especially in that crop top and varsity jacket. 'She's smart and easy on the eyes to boot, this will be fun.' - she thinks as she turns on the charm, ready to seduce.

You approach her, anger coming back as you poke your finger on her shoulder whilst saying "I'm so fucking mad at you, I could have finished the project already but your ass was MIA, so I couldn't start."

Veronica winces at each poke, irritated, she tugs on your wrist and pulls you close. "You could have looked for me personally you know." she says cockily.

Your anger dissipates a little because she had a point and with a resigned sigh you say "Fair enough, still doesn't make up for the fact that you didn't reply to my emails."

Veronica just rolls her eyes at you. "Well we could stand here and argue or we can go inside and actually work on the project." she says sarcastically.

As you make you way inside the sorority house, you can't help but feel amazed by the expensive furniture and decorations. It looked like a house fit for royalty and if you're being honest you're a bit jealous because they get to live in luxury.

You follow Veronica to her room and you're immediately surprised by what you see. Her room is big, however it is decorated modestly, and it's much simpler than what you imagined. The atmosphere feels a bit awkward and you make conversation by complimenting her room. "Your room seems really cozy."

Veronica looks at you, a soft smile graces her features and she says "Thanks." She puts a stray strand of her behind her ears and you can't help but admire her.

"If taking a picture of my room would've gotten you to come over, I would have done so already." she flirts.

You can't help giggle and you're relieved that the awkward atmosphere has been replaced with a comfortable silence.

Your giggle attracts Veronica's attention and her cheeks flush because who gave you the right to be so cute.

The two of you start to work on the project and you're pleasantly surprised to learn that Veronica understands the syllabus despite the fact that she hasn't attended any of the lectures. The two of you get a lot more work done than what you expected and before either of you realise, it's already dark outside.

You feel your eyes drooping as you try to stay awake, and you notice how dark it is and you're about to tell Veronica that you're about to leave when she says "It's already dark outside, you should probably stay it's not safe to be walking around in the middle of the night."

You mull it over and decide to stay. 'Fuck it, I'm too tired to walk back' - you think to yourself as you nod your head to Veronica.

Veronica walks over to her closet and pull out pyjamas, which she hand over to you as well as a spare toothbrush. "You should go and clean up, you can sleep on the bed." she says kindly. You raise an eyebrow at her. "This better not be a plan to get me to sleep with you Lombardi." you say jokingly. She just laughs at your joke and tells you to clean up, you're too tired to argue back so you concede.

Fast-forward to the next morning, you wake up in someone's arms and you snuggle closer until you realise. 'WTF, why am I being cuddled and where the fuck am I?' - you think to yourself slightly panicking. Your eyes open and you turn around to see that Veronica was asleep, you try to get out of her grip but she just pulls you closer whilst murmuring in her sleep.

You don't want to wake her up because she looks so comfortable and at ease and you know that you're stuck there until she wakes up.

Veronica wakes up and she feels something or someone in her arms, she then remembers that you slept over, not in the way she wanted but hey she's not complaining, especially since you were cutely staring at her with a confused expression.

Deciding to tease you, she plants a kiss on your lips and you freeze. A blush creeping on your face and Veronica was about to apologise for going too far when you cut her off by kissing her back. She could get used to this she thinks.

She pulls away and notices the blush on your cheeks. "I thought you didn't like me Hughes?" she says mischieviously, and you just look away.

Realising that her arms weren't around you anymore, you get up and Veronica whines at the lack of physical contact and warmth, you narrowly avoid being pulled back down onto the bed.

You just shoot her a soft smile and say "Thanks for letting me stay over, I'm gonna go get changed and leave, I'll see you later."

You quickly get changed and as you leave her room, you can feel your heart pounding in your chest because you can't stop thinking about the kiss you shared with Veronica. You continue to zone out for the rest of the day, wondering what it would be like to kiss her again.

The next time the two of you meet, Veronica is more straightforward when it comes to flirting, and you're always left a flustered and blushing mess. Veronica thinks you look so cute, especially since she's the reason why you're flustered. The two of you become friends and you exchange numbers because using tinder to communicate was getting annoying.

You're surprised when Veronica messages you with random memes at god awful hours and you can't even get mad because they make you laugh and it becomes something you look forward to each day.

That's when you start to develop feelings for Veronica, and you're not sure what to do because she's flirty with everyone and you're not sure if she likes you back.

Veronica invites you to a frat party, and as soon as you get there a few people introduce themselves to you. One of the frat boys tries to flirt with you and you're immediately pulled back by Veronica as she says "Fuck off Luis, she with me." Your eyes widen as you realise what Veronica said.

You don't have the chance to ask what she means as she drags you off to a room, where she immediately kisses you, hand finding it's way down to your hips and gripping it possessively. She continues to kiss you, each kiss deeper and rougher than the last. The barrage of kisses only stop due to both of you needing to breathe.

Your chest heaves as you feel Veronica lean in to whisper "You're mine, and I don't like it when people touch what's mine." You feel shivers down your back as she says that.

Veronica locks the door and she pulls you towards the bed where she sits and pull you in for another kiss. You're pulled onto her lap as her lips trail down your jaw to the base of your neck, alternating between biting and sucking to leave marks. You can feel a wave of arousal make it's way down to your core, and a small groans escapes your lips.

Spurred on by your reaction, Veronica starts to unbutton your shirt, quickly taking it off with deft hands. She starts to grope your breasts as she unhooks your bra with her other hand. Lips finding it's way to nipples, and you can't stop yourself from moaning when her teeth grazes against it.

Instinctively, your hips starts to jerk against her thigh and it quickly catches Veronica's attention as she looks at you with narrowed eyes and pupils blown.

She pulls your hips down flush against her thigh, and leaning in she whispers "Grind." and you're quick to obey her as she sucks and bites on your shoulder and collarbone, making sure to leave marks on each patch of skin she can reach.

You slowly start to grind against her, and in order to help you out, she starts to move her thigh against your centre, working you up faster and you let out long breathy moans and whimpers at the friction against your centre. Spurred on by your reaction, Veronica uses her fingers to touch and play with your clit, and this makes you moan out her name "V, that feels so good.", and she can't get enough.

She grinds her thigh faster and she starts to use her finger to help you climax. Your body starts to convulse and your back arches as you reach your climax. Veronica's fingers helping you ride out your orgasm. A loud moan escapes your mouth and for a moment your vision turns white, head empty except the pleasure you feel. Your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath.

As soon as you regain your bearings, you can see the smug look Veronica has, and you do nothing but roll your eyes as you say "Yeah, yeah that felt really good, stop being so smug." Veronica's eyes just lights up as she raises her arms in mock surrender and says "Hey, you said it not me."

"So, I guess this means we're dating?" you ask shyly, as your cheeks flush. Veronica just kisses you softly and says "Yeah."

That's how the two of you start dating.

A/N: I saw that there was a lack of Veronica x MC content so yeah enjoy, and please reply if you want me to write a dating Veronica headcanon like I did for Poppy. Thanks for reading, bye.

[ms-hells-bells]

thank you for standing up for lesbians. I have been having an unpleasant few days of questioning my sexuality and forcing myself to rearrange my worldview, trying to convince myself I *could* be with a man in the future because I've dated a boy before. I nearly had myself convinced for a handful of days I was "1% bi" whatever that means. And I only realized now that this spiraling was caused by this person's post. While rationally disagreeing with her, I started questioning everything I knew about myself bc of one asshole on the internet. Like yes I read m/m yes I find some male celebs and characters cool yes I slept with a boy yes I think some men are good-looking sometimes. I can't stress enough how all of this doesn't compare to what I feel for actual women. I don't understand how someone can be so cruel as to imply it makes me bi. Unfortunately I have not been with a woman yet so I doubt myself routinely but this was worse than usual. All this to say, thanks 🙏

the wonderful thing is that the internet is a bit obsessed with labels. you do not need to "discover what you are", what label that fits you. you can just go through life, do what makes you happy and comfortable, avoid what you don't like, and if you discover what you are along the way, that's great. it's also perfectly fine to be wrong and later realise, whether it's a woman thinking she's bi and later realising she's a lesbian, or vice versa. the internet makes you think that you are a bad person for giving yourself the wrong label in the past. life isn't easy. the human mind isn't simple. and socialisation makes things even more complicated.

but you don't owe anyone having to find the word for what you are RIGHT THIS MOMENT. in fact, you never have to. maybe you'll figure it out, maybe you won't, maybe you'll get it right the first time, maybe you won't. try to focus less on the word, and more on what you feel and what you do, and be with who you're attracted to (bi/het separatism is a different discussion, i'm just giving base advice). if you think you're a lesbian because even though you slept with a male, you didn't like it, and you can tell that attractive men are attractive (everyone can. straight men and women can also tell when their same sex is attractive, women are constantly pointing out how gorgeous women are. we all have eyes), and you only feel genuine sexual attraction to women, then call yourself a lesbian. if you later think you may be wrong, then you can just say that, there's no need to panic about the future, or what others will think of you. just be genuine to your feelings.

i actually had the reverse issue. for a while i struggled to figure out whether i was a lesbian or a male repulsed/traumatised bisexual. but then i just stopped trying to push myself to "choose a label", focused on what i did know (my attraction to women), went about my life, and later discovered that i am indeed bisexual, which at that point didn't feel like a big deal because i stopped putting that pressure to figure it out on myself. of course, it would be best if we all immediately knew, because it's not okay that women are raised to be heterosexual, and so many lesbians don't realise they're lesbian until after having sex with a man, which can lead to major regret and trauma. the elimination of patriarchy, homophobia, and compulsory heterosexuality is of the utmost importance, but in the meantime, non gold star lesbians are already coping with the struggle of dealing with their experiences they had to go through before they realised, they don't need outsiders dogpiling and guilting them. there are benefits to knowing what you are, where you fit, because it provides you with more confidence, and a community of women who intimately relate to who you are, but there are also so many women in the same boat as you and others, who have experiences and thoughts, and struggles, but haven't quite passed the finish line yet, that you can bond with and relate to as well. for whatever you are, whatever you've experienced, there are so many women who are in the exact same position.

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Ava

Nancy: Hey Ava: Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit! Nancy: 🍀🧡🎩🌈💚 Nancy: impressed that you're not too 🍻 to type that out Nancy: anyone else would be disappointed, like Ava: Dad would say its a language you need a slur to speak properly Ava: but quietly 'cos he sounds too English for that to be a self-read Ava: Hope you demanded double complimentary drinks on the flight, it's your God-given right today Ava: every day might be a stretch, even on British Airways Nancy: You don't need to worry about repeating anything dad would say Nancy: on today of all days Nancy: unless you're gonna do it to make a point about our own accents Ava: Not like any of us are that Irish we need the translation Ava: There goes my speech though Nancy: Speak for yourself 'cause there's my excuse gone in the big 🍎 if not Nancy: and speaking of... Nancy: no need to worry about getting yourself to the airport either Ava: Americans can't understand anyone who doesn't speak through their nose and at full volume, facts Ava: Oh? Nancy: Yeah, I know Nancy: I've been working on the volume thing for a while now, I think I'm finally getting somewhere 🤞 Nancy: I'm sorry, Av Nancy: I'm not gonna make it back Ava: Sounds like hard work Ava: It's fine Ava: Priorities Nancy: You know what both mum and dad would have to say about hard work Nancy: Priorities too Ava: Exactly Nancy: I miss you though Nancy: catch me up Ava: When were you last here? Ava: Christmas? Ava: Hard to summarize three months really Nancy: It feels like forever Nancy: which is why I'm starting with you and not Saint Nancy: your larger vocab also helps, of course 😏 Ava: To say he's catching up is less and less offensive each day Ava: Probably a better conversationalist than you find Dad Nancy: No lie detected Nancy: but your dog is more fun to talk to than he is so Ava: Don't drag Frank into your petty feud Nancy: it'd only be petty if it started years ago for literally no reason and dragged on and on Nancy: oh wait... Nancy: yeah nevermind 🙄 Ava: Mhmm Ava: Not to mention one-sided Nancy: well he knows which side he picked Ava: 🙄 Nancy: those sessions where he joined me for therapy were definitely worth every penny Ava: Its psychiatry, not miraclework Nancy: 😂 Nancy: obviously should've 🙏 Ava: It's about self-improvement, is it not Ava: Not changing your parents Nancy: Ouch Nancy: am I not improved? Nancy: besides, wanting it all regardless is the McKenna mindset and getting your money's worth even more so Ava: 🤷 Nancy: wanting to drag me to Dublin for the festivities, understandable if not relatable but dragging me to hell Nancy: quite far tbh Ava: Its not like I knew you then or now Ava: And I'm pretty sure it's about internal validation too so I don't feel any need to comment Nancy: okay Ava: Have a nice day then Ava: Get a shamrock shake or go to a fake Irish bar Nancy: Oh lord Nancy: I won't be doing any of that, Americans who think they're Irish are vocal enough about it on every other day Nancy: they hear my last name and wanna tell me their great grandparents life story or something Ava: You're missing out Ava: But how many times can I repeat that either Nancy: You don't have to, I heard you the first time Nancy: my apologies can be repeated as many times as you like though Nancy: 'Cause I mean it, yeah? Nancy: I'll call mum, get you here soon instead Ava: Sure Ava: Easter, maybe Ava: I'm going away with my friends this summer Nancy: Definitely Nancy: Are you still with....? Help me out there, like Ava: Lyla Ava: and yeah Nancy: Right! Maybe you can bring her Ava: Cool Nancy: I promise not to point a camera in your faces the WHOLE time Ava: I don't care Ava: but she will give you an in-depth lecture on her angle, not plural so Nancy: if I can handle Ri's demands, I don't think I've got anything to worry about Ava: Possibly Ava: but I doubt Wren Taylor-Thompson ever commented on her 87 chins Nancy: point taken Ava: Next time I'll get a girlfriend who's less no flash photography Nancy: like you said, hard work and priorities Ava: Meh, not really Ava: Are you going to talk to Ri and Buster/Saint or am I passing on a message? Nancy: I'm sure he'll be too drunk to form a coherent sentence soon if he isn't already Nancy: but I'm sure I'll catch her Ava: It is a party here, after-all Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I remember what they're like Ava: Do you? Nancy: unavoidably so Nancy: my long term memory's the reliable one Ava: Sure Nancy: what? Ava: What? Nancy: if there's something you wanna say Ava: No? Nancy: okay then Ava: Bye then Nancy: I'll call mum this week about arranging Easter so I don't forget Ava: 'Course Ava: Don't do it now, we're all wasted Nancy: she'd never hear the phone over all that good craic Nancy: and Shane McGowan 🎵 Ava: As if they've not trained themselves to pick up vibrate from ten paces in any situation Nancy: 100 paces if it's a work call Nancy: but she knows I know better than to dial on such a holy day Nancy: it'd have to be life and death Ava: If she knew that she'd be waiting at the airport, like Nancy: she doesn't do waiting at airports Ava: Not for the forseeable Nancy: I'm doing her a favour and everyone else who'd have to endure how angry not being able to see through the crowds makes her Ava: Far as excuses go Ava: You can do better Nancy: if you wanna slag me off, you can do better too Ava: I don't Ava: I've got partying to do Nancy: 'course Ava: Don't try to put your feeling bad onto me Ava: or anyone else Nancy: I don't feel bad Ava: That's why you're convinced I'm slagging you off Ava: and you've spent the convo doing as much to everyone else Ava: sign of a clear conscience, that Nancy: convinced is a strong word Nancy: and I'm not slagging anyone off Ava: You've only felt the need to bring it up twice Nancy: I'm obviously reading this all wrong Ava: Obviously is a strong word Nancy: like you said, I must be projecting something Nancy: since nothing's wrong and you're well in the party mood Nancy: I've been working too hard, my 🧠 is clearly the only one mad at me Ava: Have you told mum and dad you aren't coming? Ava: 'Cos your 🧠 ain't nothing in comparison if not Nancy: they aren't actually expecting me Nancy: they know me better than you do Nancy: and that I'd already be there Ava: Not mad, disappointed Ava: Gotcha Nancy: exactly Ava: 👍 Nancy: go tell Buster to call me when he sobers up Nancy: but not a second before Ava: Maybe you should have a drink instead Ava: get on the level Nancy: drunk photography sounds better in theory Nancy: it never develops how you think it will and not in a good way Nancy: have one for me Ava: Its a holy day Ava: take it off Nancy: If I believed that I'd be there Ava: You said it Nancy: that they see it as one, yeah Ava: Mhmm Nancy: I don't drink unless I'm 💔 everyone knows that Ava: It's not compulsory Nancy: being the only sober adult in the room that isn't pregnant isn't my idea of how to spend a holy day well Ava: And working is? Ava: 🤷 Nancy: yeah Ava: Okay Nancy: so go make the most of yours Nancy: I'll be in touch Ava: 👋 Nancy: 💚 Slán 🧡

[recoveryisrough]

I took this 3 times (trying to prove something to my younger self). Allow me to share the results:

We'll call him C

I'm taking this quiz for my younger self who had to convince herself she had a crush on this guy. I moved to a new school and he was one of the only people I knew. He was kind to me. Later that school year my new friends asked if I had a crush on anyone (we were in 9th grade). I didn't want to be the only one without a crush so I picked him. My real crush was on one of the girls in our group, but at the time I didn't understand why I felt so embarrassed around her. My friends thought he and I would make a good couple, and I think they even tried to set him up with me. I tried so hard to have a crush on this conventionally attractive friend, and didn't understand why it wouldn't work.

Result: Definitely comphet

You've got compulsory heterosexuality, and you've got it bad. This crush isn't about them, but about the normalcy you feel in liking them. You think that this type of love is the only way to be truly fulfilled, but that's not true. You don't need them to have your happily ever after, and you WILL get it somewhere else. Go easy on yourself?

Accuracy: 100%

We'll call them G

This time it was about someone I actually dated for almost a year. They felt like my only friend and when they asked me out I felt horrible. I didn't really want to date them, but it was better than losing my only friend. I remember having to make myself feel excited about having my first partner. I felt pressured into doing almost anything they asked of me. I still don't know if they realized how uncomfortable I was. A few times I'd said no but they'd just keep asking, and I didn't want to lose them.

Result: I think you like them platonically

Maybe it would be easier if you liked them, or maybe the bond you feel with them is so strong that you think it can't possibly be platonic. Either way, a lack of romantic feelings from either or both of you doesn't have to be friendship ending. Friendships can be lifelong, and as intense as romantic relationships. You don't have to like them in any other way for your relationship to make sense. If none of this applies to you and this person is kind of a stranger, you have a squish!

Accuracy: 90%. I used to like them platonically, but after we dated they just sorta made me uncomfortable.

We'll call her A

 This time it was about a girl I had a crush on when I was younger that I convinced myself was just wanting to be her friend (I actually had a huge crush on her but didn't understand that at the time. I am a lesbian)

Result: You're crushing hard babe’

No way around it: you're head over heels

Accuracy: 100%

I have made a new comphet quiz!! 

Previously, I got a lot of comments asking for there to be more of a split in questions about romantic vs sexual feelings. I have fixed this so that the quiz can now be more aro/ace inclusive! 

I hope this helps any of you questioning folks to sort out how you’re feeling. Sexuality is definitely a confusing (and sometimes tedious) thing to figure out. 

the quiz vvv

“Do you like them or is it just comphet / platonic attraction / literal hatred?“

https://uquiz.com/c5J3bk

[thelegendofclarke]

Saying that Sansa is not misogynistic or not a bully is the same as saying she did not mistreat Arya or tell her she should be more of a lady. You are just parsing words, it doesn't matter what you call it. You are still excusing Sansa's bad behavior and denying things that factually happened in canon.

Hey there Anon…

So not to be all ~well actually~ BUT, actually I think it really does matter what you call it. Think it matters a lot tbh. 

I am not going to get into the bullying thing because honestly at this point I am really uncomfortable with discussing it. But as far as the “misogynist” vs. “internalized misogyny” distinction, here are the definitions that I use when I am referring to those concepts…

Misogynist: Hatred of women. A person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women. (x) 

Internalized Misogyny: When an individual enacts sexist actions and attitudes towards themselves and people of their own sex. (x) 

So there in is where I draw the distinction… Words mean things. There’s a big difference, at least imo, between saying someone has internalized misogyny and saying someone is a Misogynist. The label of “Misogynist” implies a conscious way of thinking. It is often, not always, but often, a deliberate hatred of women. Whereas internalized misogyny implies a thought process that the subject may or may not even be aware of. They could have developed their misogynistic views themselves, or they could have been conditioned and taught to think that way.

Yes, Sansa does have internalized misogyny. She perpetuates patriarchal values and engages in traditional, compulsory femininity. She does not understand why Arya doesn’t want to comply with traditional feminine norms. A big part of internalized misogyny is perpetuating sexist actions and attitudes towards themselves and people of their own sex. And Sansa does do that in the series, even if it isn’t purposeful and in most cases she isn’t actually even completely aware of it. She placed unrealistic and arbitrary expectations on both her sister and herself. She didn’t understand women who didn’t fit those norms, but she didn’t hate them anymore than Arya hated feminine women.

There are so many instances through out the series where Sansa displays respect, admiration, and affection for other women. She is comfortable around other women, she enjoys being around other women… These are just a few examples:

Sansa was chatting away happily as she worked. Beth Cassel, Ser Rodrik’s little girl, was sitting by her feet, listening to every word she said, and Jeyne Poole was leaning over to whisper something in her ear. ― Sansa, AGoT

Sansa dried her own tears as she struggled to comfort [Jeyne]. They went to sleep in the same bed, cradled in each other’s arms like sisters. ―Sansa, AGoT

Sansa quailed. Now, she told herself, I must do it now. Gods give me courage. She took one step, then another. Lords and knights stepped aside silently to let her pass, and she felt the weight of their eyes on her. I must be as strong as my lady mother. “Your Grace,” she called out in a soft, tremulous voice. ― Sansa, AGoT

She missed Septa Mordane, and even more Jeyne Poole, her truest friend. The septa had lost her head with the rest, for the crime of serving House Stark. Sansa did not know what had happened to Jeyne, who had disappeared from her rooms afterward, never to be mentioned again. She tried not to think of them too often, yet sometimes the memories came unbidden, and then it was hard to hold back the tears. ―ACoK, Sansa

“I don’t want to, I don’t want to.” There was no way Sansa could avoid them. She greeted them courteously. “May I be of help?” Lady Tanda flushed with shame. “No, my lady, but we thank you kindly. You must forgive my daughter, she has not been well.” “I don’t want to.” Lollys clutched at her maid, a slender, pretty girl with short dark hair who looked as though she wanted nothing so much as to shove her mistress into the dry moat, onto those iron spikes. “Please, please, I don’t want to.” Sansa spoke to her gently. “We’ll all be thrice protected inside, and there’s to be food and drink and song as well.” ―ACoK, Sansa (side note that Sansa is one of the only characters to treat Lollys Stokeworth with any semblance of kindness or respect.)

Sansa had once dreamt of having a sister like Margaery, beautiful and gentle, with all the world’s graces at her command. ―Sansa, ASoS

Margaery’s kindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything. Her ladies welcomed Sansa as well. It had been so long since she had enjoyed the company of other women, she had almost forgotten how pleasant it could be. Lady Leonette gave her lessons on the high harp, and Lady Janna shared all the choice gossip. Merry Crane always had an amusing story, and little Lady Bulwer reminded her of Arya, though not so fierce. ―Sansa, ASoS

Despite herself, Alayne found herself warming to the older girl. She had not had a friend to gossip with since poor Jeyne Poole. ―Alayne, AFfC

Alayne soon found herself laughing. For just a little while, as she ran, she forget who she was, and where, and found herself remembering bright cold days at Winterfell, when she would race through Winterfell with her friend Jeyne Poole, with Arya running after them trying to keep up. ―Alayne, TWoW

‘Alayne!’ cried Myranda Royce, from a carved stone bench beneath a beech tree, where she was seated between two men. She looked in need of rescue. Smiling, Alayne walked toward her friend. ―Alayne, TWoW

Sansa never hated women, not even when she was most steeped in patriarchal norms. She was just taught there was only one way to be a good woman and never thought to question or believe otherwise. She was 11 years old, she was still in what is considered the childhood stages of mental and emotional cognitive development. She had never been outside Winterfell, her world was the size of a pinhead. Traditional femininity was what she had been taught her whole life, and what she saw from all the other women around her.

That doesn’t make it right, that doesn’t make it fair. But that also doesn’t make Sansa a Misogynist… I have never ONCE said that Arya was not treated unfairly. I have never claimed that Sansa did not mistreated her sister. I have never said that Sansa didn’t encourage or pressure Arya to be more traditionally feminine. I have never EVER placed any kind of blame of Arya for resisting or not wanting to be more traditionally feminine. I wouldn’t say any of those things, because I don’t believe any of those things. What I am saying is that characters are not static and neither are their relationships. I am saying Sansa is growing, and changing, and learning. 

I am suggesting maybe we ~take a chill pill~ with the deeply negative judgements and highly accusatory labels in regards to a character who is years off from even getting her gd driver’s permit… Give her a chance to grow up, I think she’s earned it. 

[terfezis]

can i get sources for any of these? because just at first glance:

we definitely don't support violence against trans people. i understand why you included this but i want you to know from the bottom of my heart that this is a myth. we do not support violence against anyone solely based on identity

like... yes there are radical feminists who are complete separatists, radical feminists who joke about killing men, radical feminists who wish that all men were dead, etc, but i dont think there's anyone who's actually proposing that we take to the streets and start killing every man we come across? when white supremecists say "kill all jews" they mean it. this is definitely not that.

i would desperately like to know what kind of life that radfem leads where she genuinely only knows 3 men. does she live on some kind of commune oasis? was she born under a rock? if you respond to nothing else i say, please give me that girl's @ so that i can get some pro tips from her

i am almost certain that there is more context to this one. and if there isn't, well that was a shitty and un-feminist thing to do

yeah i'm definitely going to need a source for this one here. trans women are the ones making those kinds of threats against us, not the other way around (if you'd like proof, go into my “receipts” and “violence against radfems” tags, although i'm going to give a pretty strong tw for some of the stuff in there)

ok first off "people asking them to stop" is nice but like... that's not a good enough reason to stop advocating against organized religion? because second of all, every major organized religion is wildly misogynistic. so no, i'm going to go ahead and keep arguing against religion, the same way i'm sure youre going to keep arguing against radical feminism whether we ask you to stop or not

again. need a source. and make sure that the people who harassed these teens to the point of suicide were actually, specifically, self-proclaimed radfems

i'll admit, radfems occasionally support a conservative person or source because their views, in one area, align with ours on the surface level (just like you guys agree on the point that exclusive same-sex attraction is bad). but i promise you, we as a community are doing our best to change that, and just because we occasionally agree on one point with conservatives does not mean we support the lynching of anyone.

some radfems have said this, for sure, but it is not in line with radical feminism. a major difference between liberal feminism and radical feminism that most libfems fail to realize is that radical feminism is a series of actions, not an identity. we call ourselves radical feminists as shorthand, but that doesn't mean that everything a radfem does aligns with or is part of radical feminism. having sex with men does not taint you as a person, and there are many het and bi radfems in happy relationships with men.

now this i haven't seen any radfem say. we definitely talk about the issue of compulsory heterosexuality and how that causes some lesbians to believe they're bisexual, but bisexuals and bisexuality have always been a part of radical feminism

Terfs: we don't support violence!

also terfs:

• support violence against men and trans women

• say kill all men UNironically

• "men are all disgusting, and despite the fact that I only know 3 they're all bad" (by that logic, since I only know 1 terf, it's safe to say that they all don't shower, have 4 cats, and have been reported 5 times for sexual abuse against women)

• tell their followers to go harass trans people for simply having a blog (just saw this one today too)

• tell people that "I'm going to rape you with your dick I cut off"

•frequently disrespect multiple religions, despite people asking them to stop

• have gotten multiple trans teens to commit suicide for trying to fucking exist

• team up with the same conservatives who have literally lynched black trans women multiple times

• "bisexuals are gross for having sex with men and are dirty"

• "bisexuals are just lesbians who are still under influence of the patriarchy"