#so i decided i'd keep the little alien in my fridge forever

[lonely--seeker]

[sachertortes]

Congrats on your milestone! Excited to follow you! I'd like to request Darcy/Bucky and who knows the number because of formatting but it's "we're always making stupid bets like 'bet you can't drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce' but then you did and now you're sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you." Extra points for any of the other Avengers that show up! Thanks for taking prompts!

@itsnotokbutwereallright  Thank you

Prompt: “we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you.“

Pairing: Bucky x Darcy

Rating: G

Notes: references to vomiting, description is very vague though.

The thing about Darcy was, she wasn’t ever going to save people from a burning building, or rescue an entire ferry full of passengers from alien explosives.

No, she decided to prove herself in smaller ways.

Darcy had silly contests going with the Avengers.

They didn’t mind during their off-time and she did end up feeling pretty good about herself when she could finish eating an entire Caramel Apple Pie before Steve did. (“Make a cheesecake next time,” Steve said amiably after he’d admitted defeat. “And I’ll definitely win.”)

Darcy knew that any contest with Bruce had to be handled with care. She was mulling over what to do when a she heard a tiny ‘mew’ by a trashcan outside the facility.

“Okay,” she said to a bemused Dr. Banner when she returned to the labs. “First person who the kitty chooses as their bestie wins.”

Over the next several days she made kissy noises at it, she called it ‘a pretty baby’, she tried giving it bits of cheese. Still, it did nothing but stare balefully back at her from behind the trashcan. Then one day she was headed out with a can of tuna when she saw that Bruce had beaten her to it. The small, incredibly fluffy grey tabby was rubbing itself along his leg. Bruce looked up at her and smiled.

So, Darcy lost that one technically, but she’d definitely have the image of Bruce with a kitten perched on his shoulder forever. From then on, Faraday the cat lived in Bruce’s quarters.

It was difficult to enter a contest with a billionaire genius but Pepper, once she got wind of what Darcy was up to, gave her an idea.

“I’ll give you both a shopping list, and you complete it,” Pepper told them, while driving to town.

“Alright, pumpkin,” Tony said smoothly. “Where do you want us to shop? Barney’s? Cartier? Tiffany’s?”

Darcy held back a whine. Those places were above her paygrade, literally.

But Pepper just smiled patiently, eyes twinkling. “Target,” she said, as she pulled into the parking lot. She handed them both a list. “First person to meet me back at the car with exactly everything on this list wins.”

Thirty minutes later, Darcy was sprinting through the parking lot (not exactly safe, but she was in it to win it), plastic shopping bags in each hand, to a smiling Pepper.

Tony was already there, grinning smugly at her.

Pepper checked their lists with the contents of their bags.

“Sorry, kid,” Tony told her, looking not at all sorry.

“Actually, I said ‘exactly everything on this list’,” Pepper informed him. “So while you were faster than Darcy, she has everything on the list.”

“What’d I miss??! Pens? Double-Stuf Oreos? I know I got the toilet paper, I nearly knocked down some guy to get it!”

“You’re not missing anything. In fact, you have too much. Tony,” Pepper said, reproachfully. “Why in the world did you buy ten decorative mason jars?”

“I couldn’t help it! The Target Dollar section is right there!” Tony despaired.

She was sprawled out on the common room couch, playing on her phone.

“Heard you bake pies,” came Barnes’ voice from behind her. She nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned to glare at him right in his rakish grin and pretty blue eyes.

“Ooh no you don’t. I am not entering anymore eating competitions with supersoldiers. That stomachache nearly killed me last time!”

He grinned. “Not a pie eatin’ contest, sweetheart. I want one.”

Darcy saw her opportunity immediately. The chance to triumph (however small and silly) over the Winter Solider? Hells yes.

“Yeah? You’ll have to bet me for it.”

“I know. I’ve heard about your little contests. When I beat you –“

“When?!”

“- at Mario Kart, I want a chocolate peanut butter pie,” Bucky said, sauntering away. He pointed a bionic index finger at her. “Don’t skimp on the peanut butter.”

“And what if I win?”

Barnes looked her up and down, and smirked. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“Alright, Mario Kart! Barnes versus Lewis, let’s do this!” declared Sam, their judge. He rubbed his hands together and stated with authority, “Today’s challenge mode is…no Blue Shells.”

“Y’know…I think I want whipped cream with that pie,” Bucky said from beside her.

Darcy flexed her fingers before picking up the controller. “I am going to run you right off Rainbow Road,” she promised.

Minutes later, Darcy was cursing Bucky Barnes and his stupidly good aim with the Green Shells. She watched sadly as her Yoshi fell into the void of space.

“Aw, shit. I can’t believe a senior citizen beat you at Mario Kart,” Sam teased.

“Hey!” Bucky and Darcy exclaimed in unison.

She turned to Bucky. “Best two out of three?” she asked hopefully.

He smiled back. “Sure thing, doll.” He picked up his controller again.

“No, Barnes,” Darcy said. “I meant two out of three contests.”

When Bruce invited them to yoga, Darcy had her next idea.

“First person to fall on their asses, loses,” Darcy declared, but Bucky only laughed and agreed. They even shook on it.

They made their way through down dog, table top, and eagle pose. Darcy only barely managed to keep her eyes to herself when Bucky followed Bruce’s instructions into a side plank. There were muscles and rippling and god, when his shirt rode up she could see where his muscle dipped on his hips and continued down lower, lower to – yeah. She snapped herself out of it before she seriously hurt herself.

They were all nice and warmed up and slightly sweaty when Bruce told them face one another. Then Darcy concentrated on breathing and extending and arching her back into camel pose.

She let out a relieved moan. She spent hours sitting in uncomfortable office chairs and the stretch was so nice after a long day.

Suddenly, Bucky cleared his throat and scrambled up from the mat. “Um, I gotta…go –” he said, glancing around shiftily. He took his water bottle and picked up his towel.

“So…I win?” Darcy said, hopefully.

“Yeah. Yeah, doll, you win this one,” Bucky answered, his voice slightly rough and unsteady.

Bruce watched the door shut behind a rapidly retreating Winter Soldier. “This was a contest?”

“This looks…disgusting,” Bucky muttered. They were in his quarters (surprisingly homey, and not at all as uptight or neat-as-a-pin as she thought it would be), and between them on the kitchen counter were two tall glasses of barbecue sauce. Specifically, the Stubb’s Spicy BBQ Sauce that she brought over.

“That’s the point,” she said. “First person to finish the entire glass wins. All of it.”

Bucky shrugged. “Guess I’ve had worse.” He still gave her an uncertain look, though.

“Okayyyy…Go!”

They began to drink.

The second she brought the glass to her lips, Darcy knew it was a mistake.

First of all, there was the smell. Now, Stubb’s BBQ sauce was delicious, yes. And normally it smelled…nice. Barbecue-y. But that was when it was served with delicious meat. In a glass, on its own, the spicy/sweet/savory scent was not good.

Then, when it actually hit her tongue? The strange gloopy, syrupy texture and an entire mouthful of the sauce on its own was awful. She gulped down what she could (not much) then put down her glass.

Bucky was right. It was disgusting.

Bucky was also finished. Darcy looked at his empty glass in awe.

“Holy shit, you did it!” Her own glass still looked as full as it was before. It was an indisputable win on Bucky’s part.

“Sure did, Darce, and now you owe me a –” Bucky paused, a strange look coming over his face.

“Are you – “

“Oh, god,” Bucky grunted and strode quickly to the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind him.

Darcy followed and was about to ask if he needed anything when the sound of his pained groan came through the door. Then came the definite sounds of someone worshipping the porcelain god. She hadn’t heard anything like that since her sophomore year of college.

Darcy winced and moved away from the door. She decided to wait for him on the couch, maybe get an apology in before he kicked her out and told on her to the Captain.

Eventually, there was the sound of water running, then Bucky emerged from the bathroom, looking pale and drawn and smelling vaguely minty.

Darcy shot up from her seat. “Oh my god, are you okay?! I’m so so sorry, I shouldn’t have made you drink that –”

But Bucky only waved his hand distractedly and stretched himself over the couch. His eyes were closed and he was still making little grumbling noises.

Darcy sighed. In the kitchen, she got a bottle of water from the fridge and dampened a kitchen towel in the sink.

She draped the cloth over Bucky’s forehead and pressed the water into his hand. He sat up and drank, one hand on his forehead keeping the towel in place.

“Don’t even like barbecue sauce,” he groused after downing about half the bottle in one go.

“What?! Then why even take the bet?!”

Bucky rolled his eyes, but said nothing. He capped the bottle, placed it on the coffee table, then lay back down.

“Dude…”

He turned to look at her for a second before shutting his eyes again. “Because…I like spendin’ time with ya, Darce,”

“Bucky…” Darcy began.

Bucky hummed. “I like that,” he said softly. This time he was staring at her.

“Like what?”

“When you say my name. Usually you just call me ‘Barnes’.”

“Oh.” Darcy flushed and bit back a smile. “So, Bucky…if I won…”

“Didn’t agree that you won, yet, sweetheart.”

“If I won, I’d want…” Darcy trailed off and threaded her fingers through the soft strands of his hair. She smiled when he leaned against her hand. “I’d want to go on a date.” She glanced at Bucky somewhat timidly.

Bucky chuckled, eyes alight with mirth. “In that case, congratulations, Champ.”