#so i am still very much in recovery LMAO i'm behind on work and still unpacking my house and i'm still coughing like a mfer

[linddzz]

Here an assortment of Facts About Morpheus in the Red Flags AU. Where I'm starting to lean more towards the version where they meet and are already into each other before the ""Fake Date"" Incident:

-Jessamy is the raven he took care of when he found her injured outside of his townhome. He now has a room with a window he often keeps open for her to fly into whenever she feels like it. I don't know how legal any of this is in London but tbh it doesn't matter because he also does not know what the laws are and doesn't care.

- His townhome is very dark maximalist in decor, which tends to surprise people at first. There are houseplants and little statues all over, and the walls are hidden behind millions of bookshelves. There is an art studio room and books scattered everywhere. Very recently, hypothetical visitors would notice a lot of child locks and child proofed areas that have a bit of a panicked "I bought every safety thing in the store bc I have no idea wtf I'm doing" energy to them.

- He has a therapist. Yes, the Morpheus that Hob meets is the upgraded version who is actually working on himself already. This is what the improved personal growth version of Morpheus is like.

Anyway, said therapist is Gilbert F. Greene. Because Morpheus going head to head with an unstoppable force of old timey adorable optimism who will also not take his shit is delightful. Dr. Greene insists on going by first names and Morpheus always makes "Gilbert" sound like a slur in retaliation. Some conversations I imagine include:

"Good morning Gilbert, you will never guess who had what you might call a """relapse into self destructive behaviors"""" last night."

"I am very sorry to hear that my dear boy. Let me say though, that I am so very proud of you for calling me! That is a phenomenal step for you and it's wonderful that you are being proactive in your recovery."

"Don't patronize me Gilbert. I will hang up."

(this ended up being super long so I'm just gonna spare y'all's dash. Warning for some lightly touched on mentions of drug use and self destructive behavior.)

- Him getting a therapist was part of the requirements for gaining visitation rights and then weekend custody once a month with Orpheus. The therapy is actually helping, and he's bitter about that.

- His given name is actually Dream, he goes by his middle name. All the Endless siblings have awful names. Desire goes by Adonai because who calls a fucking child Desire???

When Hob meets the rest of the family, Destiny goes "it's good to see you again, Dream" and Hob begins turning to Morpheus like "lmao who tf is named Dream" only to find Morpheus glaring daggers at his brother.

- The Endless parents are rarely around. Some of the siblings still live in the manor and they all use it for family dinners, but it's common for their parents to be off travelling for years at a time.

- Morpheus is an author and a painter who has a bajillion pen names to go with each genre he writes in, so it's hard to figure out exactly how much he's written. Even before becoming a father though, his face and full name is mostly associated with children's fantasy stories that he illustrates himself, and his Art vs Artist vibe is very Miyazaki.

Him and Calliope collaborated on a series of illustrated poetic translations of ancient epics. Their divorce was exactly as messy as one might imagine the divorce between two passionate artist types might be.

- His downward spiral of self destruction started before the divorce but oh boy did it nosedive during and after.

- When she got pregnant after divorce proceedings had started, there was a moment where they were both meeting with lawyers and one asked something along the lines of if this meant they would try for reconciliation and staying together. Calliope said "no" immediately.

It's not like Morpheus exactly thought they would get back together, but the speed and firmness of that hard "no" had his head screaming with white noise and some badly thought out self medication for months, which ended up being why Calliope got full custody and he is just now able to get more involved with the now two year old Orpheus.

- His rebound with Thessaly was also messy. She was just in it for a fun fling and he was... Morpheus. He found out he got dumped when she informed him she was already in the process of moving back to Greece, and Johanna said he needed to be banned from any more beautiful Greek expats from that day forth.

- No one can figure out what the deal is with him and Lucienne. The simple explanation is they're queerplatonic soul mates. Lucienne's wife Gault thinks they're a bit codependent (not an inaccurate assessment), but is more civil with him since the day she yelled at him to go get an actual therapist instead of constantly putting his shit on Lucienne, and he actually did. (It is unclear if this or Calliope demanding therapy for him to get visitation with Orpheus was his wake up call catalyst, but probably a bit of both.)

- Lucienne was originally a personal assistant. She now works as his editor since she seems to be the only person who can keep track of all the shit he's written. She is also the only person who can get away with critiquing his works in progress without sending him into a fit where he might burn all his manuscripts.

- When Morpheus started mentioning this Gadling guy a lot, Lucienne paid a visit to the pub. Not to do anything so crude as to threaten a man's life if he breaks her sensitive friend's heart. What could she do anyway? No no. She's just here to smile with zero trace of humor and ask some questions while looking him up and down through her spectacles. Hob will later describe this as one of the most pants shitting moments of his life, and he felt like he got transformed back into a primary school kid who talked slightly too loudly in the library.

- Morpheus went through a slutty phase during and shortly after University that was less of a healthy and fun exploration of his sexuality and libido, and a bit more "I will take anyone who will have me in any way they will want me and I know that if nothing else, I'm pretty."

- Him and Johanna used to have a game seeing who could get more free drinks in one night. This had to be put to an end when it turned into the catalyst for at least three screaming fights between them.

Fight subjects were

Quality vs Quantity. Morpheus insists his ability to get people to buy him a single glass of wine that costs £50 beats Johanna's cheap beers. Johanna disagreed. loudly.

Is it cheating when Morpheus ran to the bathroom to smudge on some eyeliner and then stole Johanna's lip gloss? Is it further cheating when Johanna realized that his main method of getting drinks was "act like Adonai"? Accusations that he would ever act like his horrid annoying younger sibling sent Morpheus into an absolute tantrum.

Competitiveness DID overcome sibling rivalry enough for Morpheus to go to Adonai for makeover assistance. This backfired because it made Morpheus hot to the point of intimidating, and Johanna won that night.

- After Hob starts flirting with him, Morpheus goes suspiciously into a Romantic, Pre-Raphaelite inspired art era featuring lots of noble knights with dark sunlit hair. A lot of them seem to be lured in by dark haired fae entities all La Belle Sans Merci style. It's disgustingly obvious.

-Therapy has made him juuuuust self aware enough to know that he MAYBE tends to go a bit hard and fast with romance. This makes him a little more cautious with Hob than he usually would be, and he's doing a bit of "Hob is so nice and sweet and interested but I'm gonna mess it up :(((" pining. Everyone around him is fucking sick of it. He is not self aware enough to realize he's still going super hard and fast, but this time he's doing it while sighing sadly and drawing Hob in his sketchbook all the fucking time.

[theseancekid]

not that i owe anyone an explanation but lmfao i haven’t been here bc i fucked around and found out :/

[laskyy]

Hey guys! I was finishing up the Keeho imagine and realized I had a request in my inbox! I didn't see it until now so I'm not sure when it was sent so I'm really sorry I didn't write earlier if you sent it a long time ago! This was requested by @ipupwkr! I hope you like it! And sorry for the wait!!!

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P1harmony when they realize they love their s/o

Tw: kissing (as always lmao), stress, crying (let me know if I missed something)

Genre: fluff

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Theo:

Theo had been working nonstop since their comeback was very near and it was clear that he felt absolutely drained in every aspect possible.

You of course weren't oblivious. You did notice that your boyfriend was overworking himself. So you wanted him to relax a bit.

It was almost 2 am when you went to fnc and found him in a practice room, dancing alone. You felt the vibrations of the music coming to an end and you took this as an oportunity to come in and take care of your boyfriend.

(rest of Theo and the other members under the cut!)

"Hey babe!" You said softly as you closed the door of the practice room and put the food you brought on a nearby table.

"Oh hi, baby! What brings you here?" He asked as he pecked your lips and gave you a quick hug.

"Well, you've been very stressed lately and I also noticed that you haven't taken some time to rest! So I'm here to make sure you relax! You need to be healthy and you probably have only been eating junk food so I also cooked some food for you! And you also need to slee-"

You didn't get to finish the sentence because Theo tackled you in a hug. Theo looked you in the eyes and he almost teared up. How could he be so lucky! You cared about him so much like no one has before. You weren't someone to mess up your sleeping schedule and he knew it, but you came here to him in the wee hours of the morning. He realized at that exact moment that he loved you and you were definitely the one for him.

Keeho:

Keeho was thrilled because he hadn't seen you in quite some time because of his busy schedule, but today he was free and you decided to meet him in the dorm to spend some quality time together and he was more than excited to have you in his arms.

"Baby!" He said as you arrived and hugged him tight.

"Hi bub!" You said as you kissed his cheek tenderly.

"Let's go up to my room!" Keeho said as he excitedly extended his hand out to you (a/n: as I was writing this, Nemonade started playing hsisjs this is unrelated to the imagine, but just wanted to said this song is a certified bop lmao) and you took it immediately.

You guys went up to his room and as he closed the door he started kissing you all over your face, something he did when he had missed you.

"I missed you sooooo much! You have no idea!" He said as he planted a big kiss on your lips and you giggled while reaching into your bag.

"I missed you too you big baby! And by the way, I got you something!" You said as you gor a pair of sunglasses out of your bag.

"OH MY GOD! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANTED THESE GLASSES? I LOVE THEM!!!" He said as he gladly took them and put them on while striking random poses and making you laugh.

"Well, the last time we went on a date I remember you looking at them while we were shopping and you looked at them with stars in your eyes, so how wouldn't I know!" You said as you wore an expression of endearment as you looked at your boyfriend who managed to look fine in everything.

"You're the best really! I aprecciate you so much!" He said as he hugged you lovingly. He hadn't said it to you but at that moment he felt gos heart beat faster than It ever had before. It wasn't the fact that you brought him something. It was the fact that you noticed the small details and that you could read him so well. At that moment Keeho knew. Keeho knew he was in love. Keeho knew you were the love of his life.

Jiung:

You were sleeping over at your boyfriend's dorm. It was the first time you slept in the same bed as Jiung, but honestly it was so cozy. He was so warm and his embrace just made you feel inner warmth as well and you swore that was the best sleep you've ever had!

You woke up before Jiung and took your time in admiring his features. He was so ethereal even when he was sleeping. You couldn't believe how lucky you were in finding such an amazing guy. Jiung was everything to you and you couldn't imagine your life without him.

You got up without waking Jiung up and decided to head to the kitchen to make breakfast as a way to thank him for everything! You went to the the kitchen in Jiung's oversized shirt and shorts and as the others weren't home you decided to play some music while cooking.

You were so into dancing and singing happily to End it (a/n: A BOP) while making breakfast that you didn't notice Jiung standing behind you as he watched you with heart eyes.

He looked at you with so much love. At first he was kind of sad that you left the bed before him, but all of the sadness left his body as he observed you being so immersed in the music while wearing his clothes.

He couldn't thank his lucky stars enough. He was so happy to have found you. And right now, as you were in such a domestic moment he couldn't help but realize that he loved you. You were the love of his life. And he wouldn't have it any other way.

Intak:

You and Intak were hanging out in his room just talking and cuddling, when you got into a conversation about how you guys were feeling about work and stress.

As Intak started speaking of the stress he was feeling with the comeback being so near he couldn't help but start crying because of feeling so overwhelmed.

"Oh Tak! Come here baby!" You said as you hugged as tight as you could while rocking him back and forth while kissing his head.

"I can't even begin to imagine how stressed you feel. I wish you could just pass the burden to me! I hate seeing you so upset! But, in the end, all of your hard work will pay off! It always does, and you know why?" You asked as Intak looked at you in the eyes as you wiped one of his tears with the pad of your thumb.

"Because you're Hwang Intak! You're an amazing artist! You're incredibly talented and passionate. You love what you do and it shows! You're going to rock this comeback like you always do! And I'll be here to help you throughout everything!"

By the end of your little encouraging speech Intak started crying harder. Don't get the poor boy wrong though. He started crying because your words made him so happy. He knew you cared about him, but he didn't know that you vocalizing it would make him realize everything. He realized he loved you and that he wanted to be by your side forever.

Soul:

You and Soul were watching a movie and honestly you guys weren't that interested in it. You were talking about your goals for the future and whatever went through your minds at that moment.

The conversation went on for a while until you felt Shota's head laying heavily in your shoulder and realized he fell asleep. God he looked so cute! You played with his hair softly until the movie ended and then you decided to make him comfortable on the couch or else he would wake up with a cramping neck.

You layed him down gently on the couch and you might not have noticed, but when you went to get a blanket to cover him he woke up and looked at you. When he saw you coming back he decided to close his eyes and pretended to be asleep to see what you would do.

You came back and tucked him in the blanket so that he could sleep well. You squatted on the floor and caressed his cheek softly for a while. You were about to get up when Soul spoke.

"Stay with me!"

And you couldn't say no to your cute boyfriend so you layed down next to him and cuddled him while listening to his steady heartbeat.

Soul looked down at you and and kissed your forehead softly while thing about how much you cared for him. Just thinking about it gave him butterflies. He was still young and had a lot of things he didn't understand, but one thing he did understand was that he was in love with you.

Jongseob:

You and Seobie were playing some video games in his room while catching up on what you guys have been doing lately. Jongseob suddenly cuddled closer to you and you could feel that he was shivering.

"Seobie you're shivering! Let me get you a hoodie." You said as you grabbed your bag and handed him his hoodie that you loved wearing.

"But you said you weren't going to give it back!" Seobie said kind of confused as he put it on.

"Well, I'm not giving it back. But you're cold and the hoodie is loosing your smell so it's a great oportunity to kill two birds with one stone!" You said as you played with the strings on his hoodie.

"So you wear my hoodies because they smell like me?" Jongseob asked as his smile grew wider.

"Of course I do! They help a lot when you're working and need to be away for a long time. That way one part of you is always with me and I feel safer in a certain way." You said as you grew shy of your sudden confession.

"Just when I thought you wouldn't get cuter!" Jongseob said as he kissed your cheek and hugged you tight.

No one ever made Jongseob feel this way. You always made Jongseob learn new things and today he leaned that he loved you dearly.

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So guyyyys, DID YOU SEE P1H'S COVER OF GOOD 4 YOU BECAUSE I DID AND I DIED DHKDBDJJD LIKE I DON'T EVEN HAVE WORDS SO HAVE SOME NUMBERS 288292829288282892.

Anyways, Keeho's imagine will ho up tomorrow because I drained my energy with this request! But I think you guys will like it! Love you guys! Pray for Ni-ki's recovery!!! 💖

[swimmingleo]

leo i have been wondering and i feel like you’re the only one i can trust to tell me. if each half of larry were a pf song. which would they be. and why

aw man aw meg that's such a great question

when I checked my notifs at breakfast and saw your ask my mind went blank cuz???? suddenly I can't remember any pink floyd song~ but now i'm in a pickle because so SO many songs can be related to them I love them all so much (the songs, pink floyd, larry, everything).

So I made my lil pink floyd shopping list and made choices based on:

how i perceive Louis and Harry (so basically the personas they project as artists/performers who occasionally give away a bit of themselves in interviews)

how well i could see them write and sing something in a similar tone (because my perception of them relies on the music they write mostly lol)

Ok starting with LOUIS:

Echoes, damn. Echoes, tears in my eyes. Echoes is my Pink Floyd Louis anthem.

What we know of Louis depicts someone who went through so many hardships and who took so many blows and it's so unfair, life is so damn ugly and you definitely expect all of those tragedies to show in his writing. And it does, in some kind of way, but Louis' writing, most of the time, is about chasing love and recovery, keeping himself in check and making everything he can better and good, because even though some things are out of his control, he still wants to do the best of what he has. When he feels down, he literally gives to others, whose sweet creatures is this ??

And so I latch on any positive song Pink Floyd has ever made, and there are not many lmao but Echoes is utterly beautiful and even more so regarding their discography: when a band who hates society as much as Pink Floyd does makes a whole 20min piece to celebrate life and human beings, you listen!!

Echoes is clearly inspired by Across the Universe. Well recently I'm very interested in The Beatles' route Louis seems to take (Change being the trigger). The song has this "life is great and nothing's gonna take that away from me". Here are some cute parallels between Echoes and Across the Universe that have to do with the SUN.

Come streaming in on sunlight wings A million bright ambassadors of morning, Echoes

Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns, Across the Universe

So yeah just... Golden boy, literal sunshine, we know the shtick.

More than that, what I love about Louis and what is reflected through his songwriting is how well he perceives the you and me of a relationship. It's like... "I see you and I understand where you come from but let me express how I feel because if I shut down it won't do any good for us". Songs like Defenceless or Too Young feel so considerate yk, like it's part of a conversation and his partner just finished talking and now it's his turn and he expects an answer. He definitely reads as the caretaker, the rock in the relationship.

And no one showed us to the land And no one knows the where's or why's

"We were only kids just tryna work it out", and what the hell are you supposed to do when you meet the potential love of your life at 18 and also your whole world changed overnight and you have to deal with all of that ? (Right Now vibes)

And I am you and what I see is me And do I take you by the hand And lead you through the land And help me understand the best I can?

I love it here??? Two people finding each other and growing and learning to be better and navigating in a confusing world but it's beautiful because they're two. Also reminds me of Through the Dark, Strong, "take my hand, I need you and you need me".

And no one sings me lullabies And no one makes me close my eyes

This part reminds me of Louis' recurrent theme of growing up, leaving comforting young days behind. Growing into his own person all the while being free, one step at a time.

And some fun little things like:

"everything is green and submarine", for his bluegreen state of mind

"You fall upon my waking eyes, Inviting and inciting me to rise" WAKING UP BESIDES YOU I'M A LOADED GUN RJIGRIOGJZRO

"The window in the wall" / "So I throw the windows wide And call to you across the sky" The speaker's walls falling bit by bit, letting the light in first before opening up completely to the world, reaching out for the other. And that's the final verse of the song, mind if I ugly cry real quick SO BASICALLY would I give everything to see a song like this in an album potentially named "Faith In The Future" ? Yes?? It would be such a strong continuation to a first album centered on introspection and reflection on the past, to songs about overcoming the worst and moving forward, like We Made It and Only The Brave. A song where you just get out of your head for a bit and takes in all the beautiful things life gave you, as a reminder of what you're fighting for. Louis' the literal embodiment of "get up you're fine, wait, just know you being down was valid btw but now we gotta keep movin". Echoes really just... makes me think of him and his strong mind <3

HARRY NOW

The first one that came to my mind is Grantchester Meadows.

It's a very calming and surprisingly lighthearted song, in the sense where I don't think there is any ugly hidden capitalism metaphor or anything like that. It's basically a 7min long tribute to the countryside where some members of the band grew up and still live in.

It's all about nature, and nature is the first thing I think of when it comes to Harry's writing. Nature is a metaphor for his feelings, for his relationship, for his lover, it's a reference to poetry, literature, to his actual upbringing... Nature means so much to Harry!!

There is still some angsty mentions, and I think it's very on brand for Harry. Aquarians will always find some way to be dramatic and that's okay lol

"Icy wind of nights be gone this is not your domain" In the sky a bird is heard to cry

If I Could Fly, Sign of the Times. Is it a plane, no, it's Harry flying in the sky where no one will hear him crying his heart out. But no pain here, no harsh dark winter night in this song, it's summer time and all the good feelings that come with it. (Watermelon Sugar, Adore You...)

In the lazy water meadow I lay me down All around me golden sun flakes covering the ground

Okay Harry, take a nap in the comfort of the water and bath under the GOLDEN SUN. Where you feel so good and safe and loved. That's... literally all of his metaphor game put in two lines lmao.

DIGRESSION this is me getting really dark for a moment, but those two lines reminds me a LOT of a French poem "Le Dormeur du Val" (The Sleeper in the Valley). It's... basically about a very young soldier lying dead in the meadows. The poem's progression is made as such as you're led into thinking he's simply resting, with nature thriving around him, but as it goes on it gets more and more sinister until the final verse "He has two red holes in his right side".

This whole verse of the poem in particular:

A young soldier, his mouth open, his head bare, And the nape of his neck bathing in cool blue watercress, Is sleeping; he is stretched out on the grass, under the skies, Pale in his green bed where the light falls like rain.

Bonus bluegreening. Aaand in my ridiculously long The Wall/HS1 analysis, I interprete Harry as a "kid soldier" fighting in a war that... almost kills him in some way. Running from the bullets, I think I'm losing it, yaddi yadda. So yeah. In some twisted kind of way, I associate this poem to Grantchester Meadows to Harry. oof. END OF THE DIGRESSION.

And a river of green is sliding unseen beneath the trees Laughing as it passes through the endless summer, making for the sea

Bonus bluegreening somewhat. No more crying, he's laughing going through an eternal summer (that belongs to someone's creation) towards the sea where he can be whoever he wants and explores everything with no barriers. (Adore You MV, She...)

The song also uses the calming sounds of nature: birds chirping, water flowing, all that jazz. Harry does include some sound effects in his music as well, though more timidly, but it's still there and I wouldn't be surprised if he took that from Pink Floyd. It also reminds me of the gulls and the sea you get to hear in Flowers In The Window so...bonus points.

SO BASICALLY in Grantchester Meadows, I hear Harry's love of nature and all the sick and twisted spins he adds to it: love and sorrow, birth and death, past and future. I see the river in Holmes Chapel (and Changes), the river that flows into the sea where life is so much bigger and the prospects numerous. Harry and nature, man. If he elopes one day in the fields and releases a record made in the countryside, this is what I expect to hear from him.

That was painfully long but that was expected right

[9tzuyu]

run into me sunday pt. ii

pt. i

notes: i am yet again projecting my own issues in fics lmao. this isn’t my favorite work, but i wanted to make a second part. this is the result. all mistakes are mine as im too lazy to proofread :P.

warnings: heavy talk of having an eating disorder.

requests are open!

the first few of weeks at natasha's house were fine. you tried really hard not to think about all the changes happening. like being monitored 24/7, or having to abide by natasha's rules all the time, or knowing that you were growing to be healthy.

it was okay, at first.

you hardly put up a fight when it came down to her rules. even meal time seemed to go without a hitch.

but as many people have said before, all good things cone to an end.

the second you woke up today, you could already tell it wasn't going to be fun. everything you'd pushed aside came crawling back, and you could feel every insecurity of yours heighten a thousand times worse than before.

nat's arms rest gently around your waist, and while it normally felt reassuring, you couldn't help but notice the extra weight you'd put on.

you still felt overly full from last night. if natasha woke up right now, you were positive she could feel how expanded your stomach was.

(god, you did not want her to feel how bloated you still were.)

now you knew there was nothing wrong with having a stomach, especially one that wasn't flat or as unwell as yours had become. but it was your body, and your body felt wrong.

feeling natasha's breath on the back of your neck, you gingerly began removing her arm from your body. however, your plan quickly failed when natasha pulled you in closer, her grip tightening around you.

you bit your lip to suppress your cries. you needed out and you needed out right now.

things quickly became unbearable. the longer you felt trapped, the more your body began to tremble. and though you despised it, you turned around to face natasha, your head buried in the crook of her neck.

the thoughts were loud. much louder than they had been the past few weeks.

you tried to keep your cries to a low level, but that didn't seem to work. natasha awoke within the very same minute. her first instinct was to check on you, but seeing as tears were streaming down your face she knew what the problem was.

nat pulled you closer to her, letting her right hand rub the backside of your body in an attempt to calm you down.

"hey now, it's okay, it's alright. you're okay, you're safe, you're here. i'm here." you continued to sob, letting every detail of your own self hatred slip from your mouth.

natasha wasn't surprised at the outburst. she knew you would have days like this, more days would soon follow. that was reality. she didn't expect your recovery to be perfect, if it was then she would know you weren't really getting better – simply putting on weight to please her.

she couldn't take away your pain (although she wished she could), but she could be there, offer you her love and support, coax you through meals when you needed her to.

when you'd finally calmed down you turned away from her, suddenly embarrassed at how you acted. she could feel you tense back up again, a failed attempt at blocking her out.

it was nat, who were you to think she couldn't read you like an open book?

nonetheless, she kissed the back of your head and moved out from under the covers. "i'm going to make breakfast, i'll be back."

you sighed. breakfast was not an option.

but 15 minutes later natasha returned with a plate of eggs, toast and a cup of fruit on the side. she even made it all pretty and nice for you.

“up, y/n. i know you don't want to, but you have to eat.”

"no," you mumbled, bringing the blanket over your head. she tugged them away instantly, "yes."

"it's too early."

"you didn't say that yesterday-"

"well i'm saying it today, natasha. now fuck off."

natasha knew better than to take your words to heart. if anything, she found it rather entertaining to see just how far you'd go to try and push her buttons.

an idea came to mind, a negotiation, really.

"tell you what, no breakfast, but you have to eat lunch and three snacks between dinner."

you thought about it for a second before peeking from underneath the covers, "deal." natasha patted your side, "i'm only doing this because you've been doing so well these past few weeks. don't count on this deal happening again." she spoke thoroughly, the plate of food now on its way into the kitchen trash-bin.

while you laid in bed natasha texted wanda. the redhead thought it would be beneficial for the younger woman to pay a visit. she knew how close the two of you were and decided to invite her over. it wasn't much, but the idea of wanda coming over and (possibly) helping you in any shape or form was very reassuring to natasha.

wanda texted back almost instantly, informing her that she was just short of an hour out, having to stop for gas on the way. natasha thumbs up'd her message and began planning out the day.

before either of you knew it, it was 12 noon. lunch had approached sooner than expected. wanda and natasha easily got caught up in a conversation. the only thing keeping time was nat's alarm that set off.

"time to go wake y/n up," natasha giggled, although she knew you'd be a challenge today. wanda followed her, too excited to wait on surprising you with lunch.

"y/n! c'mon, a special someone is here to see you."

a groan could be heard from the bed as you up to see who was there. you smiled at the sight of wanda and she immediately brought you in for a squeeze-the-life-out-of-you hug.

you didn't miss her smile faltering when she let you go.

you were still just as boney and thin as you were when you left the compound. three weeks was nothing, but you swore you could feel every ounce of weight gain coming back.

wanda helped you out of bed, allowing you to lean on her as she guided you into the kitchen. it was a good thing too, because you were more light headed than usual.

"what are you doing here?" wanda smiled and pushed the already prepared plate of food towards you. it'd been a few minutes and you hadn't even touched your fork. "what? couldn't surprise you?" natasha giggled from your left. you already seemed to be in a much better mood with wanda around than you had been this morning. but both women caught onto the fact that you were only shoving the food on your plate, not making any effort at all to actually eat it.

nat tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, "you have to eat, you know the deal we made." her push was soft, but it didn't make things any easier.

you sighed, tightening the grip around your fork. things like this shouldn't be so hard. it was food. food is fuel, food is good, but somewhere in your mind those messages were twisted and crumpled into something that could never be more false.

you leaned into natasha, keeping your face shielded away from the plate. tears sprung into your eyes and you begged for her to not make you eat.

"tasha, just one day, please. i promise i'll eat tomorrow-"

"i wish that were true, i really do, sweetheart." nat rubbed your shoulder before pushing you back, forcing you to look her in the eyes. "i'm going to go grocery shopping and run a few extra errands. wanda will be here to watch you finish your meal and to have a snack or two before i get back. i love you, okay?"

(you knew she did. but holy fuck, why did she have to do this to you.)

"yeah, you too." and with that, natasha grabbed her keys, kissed you on the forehead and left.

you don't know why, but you didn't actually think wanda would listen to natasha. that belief was quickly thrown out when you moved to get up from the table, wanda quick to grab your wrist and stop you from going to far.

"stay. please? just a few bites, i won't tell natasha if you don't..." she pleaded. a feeling of safety grew in your chest. your level of trust with her had always been high, but this time it felt more intimate. wanda was seeing you at your worst, a vulnerable position you'd never let anyone else but tasha see, and yet, wanda decided to stay.

it took over an hour for you to manage half a meal. wanda sat through it all, however, and coaxed you through each bite.

now, two hours later with a snack in hand, you sat quietly on the porch, head resting on wanda's lap with her fingers tied in your hair.

"do you talk to nat?"

"sometimes. actually yeah, most of the time i talk to her. it helps, and she's a great listener." you complimented.

"wanda?"

"hm?"

"why are you doing this?"

wanda looked down at you, seeing your eyes bore into her and bit her lip, "it's hard to see the girl that i loved and the girl that came back. i should've noticed before you went on your mission, but i didn't because i was too wrapped up with my own issues."

"you can't blame yourself, wanda. i didnt want to be seen. you couldn't have done anything different."

she hummed, ears perking up at the sound of natashas car pulling in the driveway.

you jumped up from her lap and ran to help tasha with her groceries, earning a loving glare from the redhead.

oh yeah. no strenuous activity. too many calories that you needed would be burned off. at least that's what you were told anyway.

wanda stayed the rest of the day, even through dinner. (only because you begged natasha to let her stay that long.)

natasha didn't seem to mind that she stayed. the redhead heard more laughs and giggles from you than she'd heard in the past six months.

the worst part about the day ending was the fact that wanda had to leave eventually.

(eventually being now.)

you pouted. you weren't ready for her to go just yet.  she'd taken your mind off of so much today and you weren't sure you could face it again. really, you didn't want to face it again.

"i believe in you." she murmured.

stupid mind reading.

wanda rolled her eyes, "i'm serious, y/n. you've got this. you're amazing."

“you're only saying that because you have to.”

her eyebrows pulled together. "no. i'm saying it because i know it's true. you've got a gift, y/n. what you have– you're going to get it back."

you inhaled.

"next time i see you, i want you to be a little bit more healthy, okay?" wanda gave you a tight hug and left without another word. she just hoped the next time she saw you it wasn't in a casket.

you hoped the next time you saw her, you'd be better.

today wasn't easy, but it gave you a taste of everything you'd been missing.

and you wanted it back.

[roccinan]

I'm risking sounding terribly egoistical by sending a public ask about my own url here but I'm doing it!!!!! I need the super graphic-details

Your ego is my ego, dearest nharidy. There's a reason the doc is named after you hahaha

[ 👉 My Wips ]

OK so the Absolvisti sequel's been sitting in my head since well, the week after I published it lmao. But I never got around to writing because I wasn't sure if it was being too self-indulgent (I'm feeling more confident about it now that I know you'll be pleased by it!). Also because I was having trouble deciding on a pov: should I continue with the Tatiana 1st person pov as always? Change it up to Martin 3rd person? or surprise: 1st person Don Juan?? Should it be a new chapter or new fic? (def. open to suggestions here!) Also I think it'd be Iconic to publish a story in the Dies Irae universe with our new cat profile pics.

Graphic detail time :D Prepare for a SUPER LONG answer LMAO. Most of the things I mentioned here and here will make their way in, with maybe a bonus ns/fw chapter from Martin or Andres' pov. The main story is SFW however, and there's like a hilariously high amount of hurt!Andres, who doesn't have demons to rely on anymore but still carries all the permanent damage the demons left on him:

It takes place some months after Absolvisti so Andres is doing better, but not fully well yet. He's not actively dying anymore but he does faint a lot and isn't exactly making a full recovery. Because I wanted to make things harder for Martin. Because he's not a young man anymore, the wounds were super extensive, and this is the result of years of accumulated damage + a form of "withdrawal" (the shadows/demons that used to feed on him were also the things that kept him alive so it's one big cycle that his body isn't leaving that easily).

This means every time Martin plans something nice for him like seeing a play or going out for a nightly walk, Andres can't go through the whole thing without feeling unwell. (Martin: "I over-exerted the love of my life. I am so SELFISH. what does Andres see in me??" Andres: "I disappointed the love of my life. I am the WEAKEST. what does Martin see in me??" Tatiana: feed me, bitches)

They manage to sit through one play though (not sure if I want this at the beginning or end of the fic LMAO). It's the one Bogota wrote, The Necromancer's Lament, a "biopic" about Andres' life. And it's every bit as terrible as Martin expected. Bad special effects, bad acting especially from Martin's actor, Andres' actor has a beard, and Tatiana looks like this:

Andres thinks it's the best play ever. Martin hates it and demands a refund. Tatiana hates it too but Don Juan's like, "mi amor, you are still beautiful to me, even as a deformed puppet."

Martin's 120-page complaints aside, Bogota runs the theatre troupe with his partner, Nairobi/Agata, and they're both going to start teaching performing arts at Santa Catalina because the last drama professor died lmao

Meanwhile, Santa Catalina has a new bad girl student, Tokyo/Silene! Sergio took her in as a charity case after some dark and mysterious events in her life. But Tokyo being Tokyo can't stay away from trouble, and she becomes obsessed with finding the demons that Andres expelled. Some bizarre possessions start happening again and the school's sponsors force Raquel to keep it under wraps. (Raquel: maybe if you increased funding, we wouldn't have so many problems!!)

In the meantime, Martin gets that letter from a long lost relative asking to meet him. Not sure about the order of this either. Anyway, Martin was planning to ignore the relative, but Andres insists he go. Either Tatiana or Don Juan accompany him. Martin learns that he's the sole heir of his dead parents across the sea (the will: “we forgive you for being a heretic, a freak of nature, and the alchemist of Palermo. also no hard feelings for leaving you to die as a baby xoxoxo”). There's one (1) condition though: he has to end his partnership with the necromancer. Martin: NO THANKS.

So while Martin's dealing with this unexpected drama, Sergio decides to call in Andres' expertise TM again because it's also a good excuse to talk to his brother. Martin is Very wary about this and rejects him. But Andres insists that it'll be fine. Plus, maybe he wants to turn a new leaf and help Santa Catalina for nothing in return this time. Not everyone gets a second chance at life and he doesn't want to be a bad person anymore uwu (Tatiana: "Andres was a pretentious piece of shit, surprising no one." Martin: "Nobody deserves Andres, not even me, and I'm like, the most amazing person in the world.")

Andres comes to do the exorcism with the random priest the school hired. And they discover there aren't any demons- it's just some ghost fucking around (maybe I'll make it the spirit of Gandia or Alicia since they haven't shown up yet lol). Anyway, it doesn't go very well but Andres gets rid of the creature or whatever. Not before it punctures a hole in his side though. Then Martin loses it, just full-on screams at Sergio for almost getting Andres killed again, makes a lot of threats against the school, etc. etc.

Raquel, being more useful, plugs up the wound. But the priest accidentally provokes Martin more by asking Raquel if he should mop up Andres' blood with holy water or something. What if the necromancer's blood is cursed?? And now it's all over the floor, so disgusting :/

Martin, already in a very bad mood, beats the priest up.

They go home. Martin's in a really sour mood and he just doesn't understand why Andres isn't mad at Sergio. Martin: "It's really emotionally damaging to me if you don't give a fuck about yourself." Andres makes him even angrier by bringing up the Berrote family will and having the audacity to suggest Martin leave him for money. He makes a huge case about how he literally has nothing to offer Martin except a body that barely works and a terrible reputation. Martin: "I lost a fucking eye for you??"

They fight and Martin storms away, and also kidnaps Don Juan, his honorary new soulmate who would never betray him like Andres.

A while after this, the Spanish Inquisition local clergy arrests Andres for "questioning." Because the shenanigans at Santa Catalina are still going on and that one priest suspects him of being behind everything just because. Raquel's the one who bails him out. She may not like Sergio's brother, but the way everyone else treats him is ridiculous.

Andres limps home, hoping Martin's still away. Surprise! Martin felt guilty and came back. And it's pretty obvious that Andres has just been tortured. Martin: "Say no more. I'm going to kill some people."

Andres gets Martin to not do anything stupid by dropping the thing with the will. He admits he was wrong for saying those things to Martin and he selfishly, genuinely wants to stay with Martin forever. Martin: "I'm still going to kill your brother. You may appease me with a kiss."

Does it end here? No! Because the shit at Santa Catalina is still happening. Andres and Martin solve it for good though. But it's all very dramatic. I'm vaguest about this part, but maybe Nairobi's injured saving Tokyo, and this gives Tokyo the wakeup call to move on from whatever baggage that got her into this mess in the first place. Then Andres' solution for saving Nairobi is to ask Martin to work that alchemist magic and transfer her wounds onto himself (at this point, we're just going overboard with the Andres whump but asdfasdf why stop??). Raquel: Sergio, tell your brother to stop dying. That's a bad example for the kids.

It takes a lot of convincing, but Martin relents in the end, only because he trusts Andres. At this point, Andres has been through so much that he physically cannot take any more damage. Like, he just can't lmao. So the whole process puts Andres into a coma or something. But we don't need him anymore because now we can revel in Martin's angst!

Martin spends the rest of his time crying and angsting and guilt-tripping Sergio, and just being very loud in general. He also writes back to his family and tells them to fuck off.

Once we indulge in enough of Martin's pain, Andres finally wakes up. Still very bad off but he's alive and not showing signs of dying any time soon. So that's good enough for Martin. They have a nice heart-to-heart, and idk, maybe Raquel comes to see them because Sergio's too embarrassed to. Until Andres insists, because he loves hermanito unconditionally uwu. Martin: "watch your back, Sergio. I might murder you in your sleep (:"

Then at the very end (I have no idea how long this story is LOL), there's some kind of family photoshoot between Raquel, Sergio, and Paula. Everyone's raving over this new invention called the "camera." Andres is admiring it from a distance until Raquel's like, "get over here. what part of FAMILY photoshoot do you not understand!?"

Andres is shocked pikachu face because good will towards him for once?? he's being included in something?? people want him around?? what is happening??

Martin's happy for him though. Then he's admiring from a distance until Raquel's like, "I said FAMILY photoshoot. Get over here, Martin!"

Tatiana didn't want to be a part of it, but Paula saw her favorite talking cat and like, grabbed her lmao. Don Juan photobombs it because he can't be excluded from an activity with Tatiana, especially when his former rival Andres is in the photo too. (His current rival is Casanova, an unworthy white cat vying for Tatiana's affections)

Sergio proposes to Raquel. The end! Yes, the kitty love triangle is also a central theme of this story LMAO Hope that satisfies you, nharidy! And I welcome any and all suggestions!