#so hopefully in a few years I'll see this again and feel proud of now me

[r473n]

Man, what an intense few weeks!

I've not been drawing much, nor writing, even tho I have a ton of half finished projects. I'm hoping I'll be able to post a few drawings soon once my brain stops screaming.

Looking through old drawings searching for inspiration I found "Disappointed-in-you demon". It didn't make me draw. But it's judgemental stare gave me the push to finally come out as trans nb to my partner and ask my GP to refer me to my local GIC. So that's something.

My partner is spiraling. The waiting list is about 5 years.

But, hey, the first episode of Bleach was dope af. And more Mayuri was promised in the OP.

It's the little things.

[inpacho]

I'm in thatttt

New multi-animator project drops December 27! Our biggest one yet!

[the-flaneur]

four-tune favours the bold (mv1)

pairing: max verstappen x alonso!reader [smau]

summary: having won his fourth world title, max finds no better time to tell your father that you're dating (and to maybe also get his blessing)

warnings: none (i think)

a/n: now that we finally have M4X (yipeeeeee), can we please get goatlonso back, preferably in the next few years (pls let the newey rocketship work)

[masterlist] [requests]

-> instagram

y/n_priv

liked by fatherofthree, blackdontcrack, inchident_no1 and others

y/n_priv reactions after max told me he had told dad about us (he lied)

view all comments

blackdontcrack max stop sending your girlfriend into a heart attack, she's already getting one from your kids

fatherofthree she learnt that one from you and roscoe 💀 blackdontcrack HEY. my son is very well behaved

notnowinsnomore I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WONT JUST TELL HIM, IT'S NOT THAT HARD MAX

fatherofthree DO YOU WANT TO TELL HIM FOR ME 🤨🤨🤨 notnowinsnomore NO???? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO DIE??? notnowinsnomore IT'S ALSO YOUR RELATIONSHIP, NOT MINE

honeyhoney you've got to give him like 10 years to process that you're even in the same social sphere as his daughter...good luck man

fatherofthree thanks dan 😖 fatherofthree padel later? y/n_priv no? we have our date??? 😧😧😧 honeyhoney you beating up max now y/nnie? y/n_priv 😁👍

yourbff_priv babes ditch the men for me 😍

y/n_priv yes wifey 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 fatherofthree @/yourbff_priv stop stealing MY girlfriend yourbff_priv skill issue

fatherofthree

liked by y/n_priv, inchident_no1, notnowinsnomore and others

fatherofthree stopped her from becoming blonde and still got kisses xoxo

view all comments

notnowinsnomore that second picture is exactly is what's gonna put you on top of fernando's kill list

fatherofthree no it wont notnowinsnomore yes it will inchident_no1 yes it will blackdontcrack yes it will honeyhoney yes it will ima5starmichelin yes it will buzzlightyear yes it will y/n_priv yes it will fatherofthree ok maybe it will. but fernando doesn't need to know

inchident_no1 your rendition of my heart goes on is truly...

y/n_priv truly what CHARLES? say it with your pussy fatherofthree YEAH WHAT SHE SAID inchident_no1 rubbish 🙄 y/n_priv BOOOOOOO YOU'RE RUBBISH

y/n_priv

liked by fatherofthree, spicysugarbaby, inchident_no1 and others

y/n_priv PUTTING IT ALL ON BLACK! VIVA LAS VEGAS BABY 🤩 YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US AT THE MGM UNTIL THURSDAY MORNING @/f1

view all comments

inchident_no1 should've bet on red 😉 wouldn't have lost you 100k

spicysugarbaby agreed 🤭 blackdontcrack well i SEVERELY disagree since we won 250k on the next spin on black so.... fatherofthree I LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH THEM FOR 10 MINUTES AND YOU'VE ALREADY BET 250K??? y/n_priv yeah but it's an investment babe 😘

antman can i join you guys? 🥺🥺🥺

y/n_priv not yet little kimi, in another three years (i think; i'll take you to the casino then myself ☺️) y/n_priv and yes you too @/we_are_barebears we_are_barebears YESSSSS 😌

f1 can i come over pls pls

y/n_priv of course admin ❤️ f1 yay 😁

-> messages

-> instagram

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, fernandoalo_oficial and others

yourusername feeling right at home here, dressed and betting on red

view all comments

user1 HOLY LORD MOTHER IS FINALLY BACK TO SERVE CUNT IN THE PADDOCK 🥵🥵🥵

user2 the sexy spanish alonso genes are real with this one yourusername i would hope so! 🥱 user3 istg ive never seen a spanish person look bad in red

user4 GOD REALLY GIVES US Y/N AS AN APOLOGY CAUSE HOW DOES SHE EXIST????

user5 she's literally a goddess on earth user6 the face economy is unreal with her 😍 yourusername cant just be a nepo baby, gotta make papa proud 😘

user7 super hyped for vegas now that you're here with us y/n 🤩

user8 hopefully we see another alonso top 10 (i can copium for a top 6) user9 he will literally dnf everyone if it means y/n gets to see him podium or win again (2023 was literally iconic) yourusername papa will be ready to make stroll do crashgate 😉 (but i've asked him to refrain for this weekend) user10 ya'll y/n's cooking 😌😌😌

user11 ERM ANYONE GONNA BRING UP PIC 3 CAUSE....

user12 YA'LL GIRLIE I WAS GONNA SAY THE SAME THING user13 who's that @/yourusername 🤨 user14 who's that @/yourusername 🤨 yourusername no comment 🥺👉👈 user15 whoever that is do be looking fine affff user16 also probably fearing for his life, considering she's got like ten godfathers and then over twenty drivers ready to bash a man for her 💀💀💀

user17 THE FERRARI AURA IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE 😆

fernandoalo_oficial who's that princessa

yourusername i will tell you soon papa 😁

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others

maxverstappen1 suited up and ready to take on vegas. 💪 bring on the race 🎰

view all comments

user18 STILL COOKING WITH A SLIGHTLY COOKED CAR, LETS GET TITLE NUMBER 4 💪💪💪

user19 literally salivating over pic one, cause he's so fine 🥵

user20 waiting for "2024 fia f1 world champion is max verstappen"

user21 SIMPLY LOVELY PUTTING YOURSELF INTO A STRONG POSITION

user22 getting the ladies i see in pic two 🤣

user23 he knows what he wants, and what he's going to get afterwards 😏

user24 VIVA LAS VEGASSSSSS, GETTING READY TO RUMBLE

-> twitter

-> irl

as max stepped out of the cockpit of his red bull - his gloved hands trembling slightly - he could feel the relief coursing through him, palpable even under the thick layers of his racing suit and balaclava. the cold autumn air nipped at his damp skin, but he barely noticed, lost in the overwhelming rush of emotions.

after a very, very long season, filled with challenges both in and out of the car, he had finally done it…he had won his fourth world championship. 

as he stood there under the vegas lights, savoring this triumphant moment in front of the roaring crowd, his thoughts drifted to you.

throughout the year, your presence had always been a beacon amidst the chaos, a constant reminder of what truly mattered to him beyond the roar of engines and the glare of millions of fans. as he ran towards his team, his chest pounding and blood rushing in his ears, he thought of your earlier message, and his heart swelled with affection for you. he knew now was finally the perfect opportunity to share his love for you with the rest of the world.

as you watched max leap into the waiting arms of his jubilant crew, who slapped his back, clapping and cheering, chanting his name, you tried furiously to blink away the tears. your boyfriend had finally achieved his fourth world title, and he was making both of your wishes come true.

walking over to the other drivers, max felt the hand of another behind him. turning around, the butterflies in his stomach heaved once again, coming face to face with your father, fernando alonso. max's exuberant gaze locked onto the figure before him, and as their eyes met, max felt the familiar flutter of nervousness in his chest, a sensation he'd grown accustomed to whenever thinking of you and your father.

"max," fernando greeted him warmly, extending a strong hand. "congratulations. you've earned every bit of this championship." max clapped his hand firmly, trying to hide the slight tremble behind his grin. "thank you, fernando,”

max blushed for a second, as fernando leant up to pinch his cheeks, while also grinning widely at him. as fernando's gaze lingered on max, he thought for a second that he had found out about the two of you, and was instead ready to pull him by the cheek in for a very obvious threat and kick to the balls.

"i must say," fernando began, his tone sincere, "you've shown remarkable resilience this season. much like myself. i hope to see you continue working hard for many years," his words carried a hint of approval.

max swallowed hard, his mind racing, as he opened his mouth to speak.

“i-i’m dating your daughter,” max’s heart pounded in his chest, the words tumbling from his lips before he could stop them. fernando’s expression remained jubilant, but there was a glimmer of something unreadable in his eyes. the air between them seemed to crackle with tension.

“i…i didn’t know she was seeing someone,” fernando said slowly, his voice low and controlled, as he waved to the crowd, whilst pulling max towards the other drivers. there was no denying the facts now – fernando knew about their relationship. and while max couldn’t read the older man’s thoughts, he felt a surge of nervous energy course through him. would this revelation change things? between him and fernando?

as if sensing his turmoil, fernando turned back around abruptly, causing max to jump slightly.

fernando studied max intently, his expression unreadable. then, slowly, a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "but i'm glad to hear that it's you max. my daughter deserves nothing less than the best."

with those words, fernando extended his hand once more, this time with a newfound warmth that spoke volumes. max grasped it firmly, sealing a silent pact between them. as they released their grip, fernando placed a hand on max's shoulder, pulling him in. "but listen closely mijo," he said, still grinning but his voice low and conspiratorial, "you mess with my daughter, and i will not hesitate to run you off the track or run you over. if you care for her, then show her that she's your number one priority, both on and off the track."

max felt a chill run down his spine at fernando's warning, but he also sensed a strange kind of respect behind it. this was a man who protected his family fiercely, and max wanted nothing more than to earn his place within that circle.

"yes, sir," he replied fervently, meeting fernando's intense stare head-on. "she is my priority, always. i promise you, i'll do whatever it takes to make her happy and keep her safe." fernando studied him for a long moment, searching for any sign of doubt. finally, he gave a curt nod, releasing max's shoulder.

"alright then," he said, "just remember what i told you. and welcome to the family, officially." as fernando walked away, max took a deep breath, his mind already racing. he glanced around at the celebrating crowd, their faces alight with joy and admiration, and couldn't help but feel a sense of pride swell within him.

but more than anything, max yearned to share this moment with you, to bask in the glow of his victory together and celebrate the love that had sustained him throughout the season. max scanned the bustling crowd, his eyes searching for a glimpse of your familiar features amidst the sea of faces. spotting you lingering nervously near the red bull personnel, he pushed through the throng of people, making a beeline directly for you. as he drew nearer, you couldn't help but notice the look of pure adoration etched across his handsome features. his dark hair was damp with sweat, his broad shoulders still trembling slightly from the exertion of the race. but his eyes shone brightly with triumph and something far warmer - his love for you.

"y/n!" he called out, his voice ringing above the din of the party. pulling you through the celebrating crowd, he wrapped you up in a crushing embrace, lifting you off your feet. you melted into his embrace, pouring every ounce of your joy, pride, and adoration into it.

your laughter mingled with the roar of the crowd as max set you back on your feet, his hands lingering on your waist. he gazed into your eyes, his own shimmering with unshed tears of happiness. in that moment, the rest of the world faded away, leaving only the two of you, suspended in a bubble of pure bliss.

"y/n," max whispered, his voice thick with emotion, "i did it. we did it." he pressed his forehead against yours, savoring the warmth of your skin and the closeness that came with sharing such an intimate moment.

your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer until your lips met in a searing kiss, pouring years of shared dreams and unspoken promises into that single, passionate gesture. the world around them melted away as max lost himself in the taste and feel of your lips, his body molding perfectly against yours. his hands roamed over your curves, tracing the contours he knew so well, as if mapping out the path to your heart.

when you finally broke apart, both panting for air, max rested his forehead against yours, his eyes shining with a mixture of triumph and tenderness. "i want to spend the rest of my life making you feel this way," he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. "i want to wake up every morning with you by my side and fall asleep every night in your arms."

he reached into his pocket, his fingers brushing against the small velvet box that had been burning a hole there since the day he decided to propose. max dropped to one knee, his heart pounding in his chest as he gazed up at you with a look of pure adoration. the crowd around them seemed to hold its collective breath, the anticipation palpable in the air.

with trembling hands, max opened the box, revealing a stunning diamond ring nestled within. the stone glittered under the bright lights of the track, casting glittering cascades of light across your face.

"y/n," max began, his voice steady despite the overwhelming emotions coursing through him, "from the moment we met, you've been the driving force behind everything i've achieved. your love, support, and unwavering belief in me have pushed me to become the best version of myself, both on and off the track."

he paused, swallowing hard as he fought back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes.

"marry me," max breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. "become my wife. let's race through life together because i want to spend the rest of my life with you, and no one else, i love you,"

with a shaky nod, you sank to your knees before him, cupping his face in your hands as you peppered his cheeks with tender kisses. "yes," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "a thousand times yes."

max slid the ring onto your finger, and pulling you up with him to your feet. spinning you around once more, your laughter ringing out like the sweetest melody. the crowd surged forward, enveloping you both in a sea of congratulations and well-wishes, their excitement nearly tangible in the air.

as the celebrations continued around them, max pulled you close, his lips finding yours in a passionate kiss that left no doubt about the depth of his love and commitment. in that moment, surrounded by the people who mattered most, max knew that this was just the beginning of a lifetime of victories, both on and off the track.

-> instagram

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and others

yourusername I LOVE LAS VEGAS BABYYYYY 😘 but in all honesty, i'm so so so proud of you max (more than words or actions could ever express). seeing you grow throughout the past four years into the champion you are today, is more than any gift i could ever receive. there were far more battles and challenges from this season, but you rose above them every time. you are a champion, both on and off the racetrack and you will never be alone in this world, as long as i'm here. keep them coming baby. i love you, forever and always 🧡

comments on this post have been limited

maxverstappen1 i love you very much schatje, thank you for always being there for me 😘

fernandoalo_oficial i am very happy for the both of you 😁👍

yourusername thank you papa ☺️ promise me you wont shunt into max next race? fernandoalo_oficial no promises sorry princessa 🤭

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, francolapinto, yourusername and others

maxverstappen1 four time world champion baby!!! a season full of challenges, but with the support, dedication and the effort of the team, this result would not have been possible 🙌 a huge thank you to all involved for this incredible achievement 👏

and i just want to say the biggest thank you to the love of my life, my girlfriend of four years, and now my fiancee, y/n alonso. i love you so much, and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you (even if your dad wants to run me over now)

comments on this post have been limited

yourusername i love you more than anything else in this world maxie 🧡

permanent f1 taglist (comment or msg me to join)

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© the-flanuer || do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platform.

[ashwhowrites]

Hiiii!!!!

Okay I’ve kinda had this story playing in my mind for a while but we’ve got older sister Henderson who comes back to Hawkins high school for her final year (she was at another school for whatever reason) and she has to pick up Dustin from hellfire. She’s got a stutter and maybe tries to talk to Eddie about dnd because she’s got a crush on him but he thinks she’s pretending or mocking him in some way cause of the stutter (maybe he thinks she’s trying to sound geeky). She gets really upset and goes mute for a while at home and at school and Dustin knows she’s sad but doesn’t know it’s Eddie that made her feel that way. Maybe Dustin invites Eddie over and Eddie is prepared to be mean but Dustin says like “oh she hasn’t talked since someone made fun of her stutter” and Eddie realizes he messed up and she wasn’t lying…. It’s a lot 😅

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. First fic back after like 2 weeks! Hopefully I'm not rusty. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Stutter

It had been a few years since Y/N Henderson was in Hawkins, but now she had to head back for senior year. Even though she was away, Dustin kept her caught up with everything, including his cute new best friend Eddie Munson.

Y/N grew a slight crush on the stranger through photos and stories that Dustin shared. She felt nervous to see him in person because of her stutter. She didn't have the best control over it when she was nervous, it got the best of her and caused insecurity.

She took a deep breath as she got out of her car. She gave herself a small pep talk as she entered the school. She hadn't been in it for years but barely anything changed. She smoothed down her jeans, giving her outfit one last look in her reflection in the windows. She had no shame in trying to look her best because she knew there was a big chance she would see Eddie.

She made it to the door Dustin directed her to. She knocked on it softly and heard the voices on the inside go silent.

She backed up when the door swung open, and there he was.

Eddie had his hair down, the only way she ever saw it. His eyes were gorgeous in person, so much brighter than the pictures.

"Hi" she breathed, a smile on her face

Eddie shut the door behind him. A suspicious look on his face. He crossed his arms, trying to threaten her but she found it attractive.

"Can I help you?" he asked

"Dustin's sister, Y/N," she said, smiling as she felt proud of herself for not stuttering once. She tried to stay in control of her tongue.

"You are a Henderson?" He asked, she felt her skin burn when he stepped back and looked at her up and down. "Seem too cute to be related to him"

And just like that, it switched

She got so nervous her mind went blank. She couldn't practice the sentence beforehand as he waited for her to speak.

"Dung..eo..eons...and ddddr...ag...on...ons, do yyyou en...jjjjoy plaaa....y..ing...th..a...a..t?"

She wanted to smack herself for how stuttered her sentence was. She felt her body shut down when his eyes snapped into slits like he was glaring at her. She fiddled with her fingers nervously.

"Wouldn't be the master if I didn't." He scoffed, his tone much ruder than before. "If you plan to just stutter and mock me, don't bother talking to me. I'll get Dustin." He snapped, then he opened the door and slammed it.

The wind from the hard slam smacked her in the face. She quickly bit down on her lip to make sure she didn't cry. He sounded much nicer and sweet in Dustin's stories.

The door opened again and Dustin came out with a smile. Immediately talking he told her all about the campaign. She listened quietly as they made their way home. She was stuck in her head and pity. And it hurt to admit just how much Eddie's words hurt her.

~~~

She respected what Eddie said, making sure anytime she ran into him at school she didn't say a word. She didn't say a word to really anyone. She knew her stutter could be annoying and she didn't want to give anyone else a reason to shut her out.

Dustin didn't question her about her silence. She just got back and probably needed time to adjust to everything again. He figured maybe she was overwhelmed. Until he overheard her talking with their mom about someone saying something about her stutter and now she didn't feel comfortable speaking. Dustin's heart hurt for her but he didn't want to invade her privacy.

Y/N never said who so Dustin had no idea the person in the story was Eddie. As a result, Dustin didn't think twice about inviting Eddie to dinner after a long campaign.

"Your sister here?" Eddie asked as Dustin unlocked the door.

"Yeah," Dustin said, taking off his shoes. Eddie followed his movements, slipping out of his dirty sneakers. Eddie cracked his neck, already planning comebacks in his head if she tried something again.

He looked up as Y/N came into view, she offered a small smile and passed her way into the kitchen.

"Don't mind her quietness. She's got this stutter and some asshole made a comment about it so now she's silent. Don't take it personally, once she's warmed up to you she will talk." Dustin said with a smile

Eddie felt his stomach drop as the kid walked into the kitchen. She had a stutter? She didn't purposely stutter in front of Eddie to make him feel like he was being made fun of? Instead, he made fun of her for something she couldn't control. He hung his head in shame as he felt like a true asshole.

He walked into the kitchen, and sat in the familiar seat he sat in every time he was over. He felt uncomfortable when he realized his seat was directly across from hers.

She smiled again, then looked down at her plate.

Eddie coughed and dug into his plate. Dustin and his mom got into a conversation as he kept looking up at Y/N. He hated that he made her silent in her own home.

"So dear, how has the first week back been? Feeling better after that situation?" Mrs. Henderson asked, her attention on Y/N.

Y/N shrunk down in her chair, her eyes avoiding Eddie's at all costs.

"I..I...I'm tttt...trying to practice with my ttt....tapes again." Y/N stuttered out, giving her mom a soft smile before she went back to her plate.

"Good girl," Mrs. Henderson said as she softly touched her hand

Eddie lost his appetite as his stomach twisted with guilt.

The rest of dinner was mostly Dustin talking but that was a relief to everyone at the table.

Everyone was excused and Dustin prepared for bed. Eddie prepared to leave but he knew he needed to apologize. He nervously walked to her bedroom, her name written on the outside in glitter.

He knocked and waited for it to open

She opened the door and was surprised to see Eddie. She stayed silent as she waited for him to speak.

"About last week, you deserve an apology. I'm sorry for being a total dick and treating you like that. I made a horrible first impression, but I'm used to people making fun of me and I thought you were too." Eddie explained

He watched as she took a big breath and opened her mouth

"Ittttt's okkkkay" she stuttered, Eddie smiled as he tried to make her feel comfortable

"Thank you for saying that. Maybe we can start over? Over dinner sometime?" He asked, that flirty tone was back and it made her heart race.

"Yes," she said with a smile, "one thing"

Eddie watched as she walked to her desk and grabbed a pen. She softly grabbed his hand, his heart racing as she wrote on his palm

She clicked the pen, smiled, and softly shut her door.

Eddie smiled to himself as he looked down at his palm, her name and number in black ink.

Tags!

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[robin-the-enby]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a Markus(DBH) x Reader where she is the S/O of Leo Manfred, but the relationship is definitely not a happy one. Like he insults her and pushes her around all the time.

If that is triggering please ignore this request! Hope you have a lovely day! :)

You can think that you're in love, when you're really just in pain...

Pairing: Marcus x f!reader

Warnings: use of Y/N and she/her pronouns, female reader (appearance is not discussed or mentioned), swearing, mentions of psychological and physical abuse, Leo is a gaslighter, I guess that' it

A/N: OMG, I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Will you ever forgive me? 😭 But I took my time with this piece (and honestly might have gone a bit overboad) and while it did suck the soul out of me, I am very proud f it and hope you will like it. I made the reader female in the end, but the appearance of the reader is never mentioned, she is only reffered to with she/her pronouns, so I hope that's not a problem. If yes, I'll make sure to change it ;)

By now, you knew these streets by heart, that's how often you visited Carl Manfred. The old artist liked to joke that you were his in-law, given that you were his son's spouse. This wasn't the only reason however, because Carl also thought you were a kind and gentle soul and he really hoped that Leo saw that and tried to better himself in life, if not for himself, then for you at least.

Carl only talked well about his son, preferring to think about the god times instead of where exactly it went wrong and whose fault it might have been. But your presence was calming and very much enjoyable. He did have Marcus to run errands for him and take care of him, but you offering your helping hand gave him the feeling that he oh so lacked - his family taking care of him, now that he couldn't do it very well himself.

Even though you and Leo weren't married or even engaged, the old artist still considered you family. After all, you have been with Leo for a few years now, the thought of you leaving from his and Marcus' lives was strange and one Carl did not like to think about. Although...

Sometimes, when the house got quiet, when Marcus was fetching some paints or doing other errands in town, Carl would think. To be fair, he didn't know what you saw in Leo, even though he'd never admit that. He knew that opposites often attracted, and he really did hope your love would help Leo, whenever he'd ask you how his son was doing, no matter what mood you were in, it instantly changed. Something in your eyes...shifted. You looked tired, somehow older in those times, and he could see there was a heavy burden weighing you down. When it came to talking about Leo, you stuck to the basics. "He's doing fine." you'd say with a smile. But whenever Carl would ask hopefully "Has he found a job yet?" or "Is he...clean now?" you found that you could not answer. You didn't want to worry the old man, but it felt wrong to lie to him either. So you just hung your head low and admit quietly that no, he doesn't have a job and no...he isn't clean. You tried to lighten up the mood by saying he's looking for a job, which wasn't really a lie, at least, Leo insisted that he's looking for employment any time you'd bring that topic up, but you suspected Carl had stopped believing you at some point, although he never said so.

Today, you were once again visiting the old man and his android. It was strange to think that Marcus wasn't human. Every time you interacted with him, you almost forgot about it, enjoying his presence around you that much. Marcus was...serene. He wasn't loud, he wasn't crass and he was always kind. To everyone. Even if it created more trouble for him. Sometimes you wished you didn't have to leave. That you could stay with them. You were pretty sure Carl would be more than happy to let you stay, wishing for the company of his loved ones, even if he never said it, and Marcus...well...Marcus would be happy if Carl was happy. If you could call it happiness. It was strange to imagine that Marcus has never experienced any emotions at all. It made you a little sad. But the fact that he didn't know what emotions were and so he couldn't be aware of the fact he's missing something made you feel a little better. Although sometimes...sometimes it felt like Marcus was...different. Many a time have you seen him just...space out. You could see the, probably very much real, cogs in his head turn as he processed...something. But what that something was? You weren't sure.

Pulling your car into the driveway of the Manfred residence, you didn't even attempt to fight the stretch and the deep breath you took. It felt so freeing to be here, far away from...well, home. And the air was so clean and fresh, too! You could spend the whole afternoon sitting in the garden, just breathing. Carl sure did have taste when he picked out this place to live out the rest of his life at. It was calm, mostly quiet and smelled so, so good. Most people don't realise how amazing fresh air is until they taste it with their lungs, you thought to yourself. But even as you were here, your mind couldn't stop comparing everything to how it was at home. The yelling outside and inside. The constant sense of unease. The constant suffy air that wouldn't get out of your apartment, no matter how long you left the windows open. And you knew you had to come back. This place, as nice as it was, was just a break. A small oasis that would fill you up with strength until your next visit. But your reality was out there. In the downtown Detroit, in the tiny apartment you were renting.

Maybe if Leo admitted that he has issues and put his pride aside just once, you wouldn't have to take up so many shifts. You could actually like your job. You could do so much more than to just keep the both of you alive. Maybe you could have a bit of peace. But you doubted that. No matter how hard you tried, how much you did for the both of you, it seemed to never be enough. You took up extra shifts to treat the both of you to some nice meal? The apartment wasn't clean enough. You deep cleaned the apartment? You didn't cook dinner. You didn't have money to lend him? He didn't believe you, unless you showed him. And god forbid you asked him what he needed it for. Or if you complained.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you made your way to the front door. Yes, reality wasn't...perfect, but you wouldn't let it ruin this moment for you. Or, at least, you would try. As you were about to raise your hand to ring the doorbell, a figure appeared from behind the corner, abruptly stopping at the sight of you. You whip your head around, startled a little at the stranger's sudden appearance. But, as your eyes focused on the person, you recognised Marcus. His intense eyes that never made you feel unsafe, his short hair, which you weren't even sure was real, you thought briefly, and his firm build...

"Oh, (Y/N)! I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you..." Marcus apolgised with a very sincere feeling smile. You chuckled slightly at your reaction "Oh hello, Marcus. It's alright, you just startled me, that's all." Marcus was quiet for a moment, and judging by the intensity of his gaze, you assumed he was assessing your vitals to ensure you really were alright. At first, the intensity with which he looked at you sometimes unnerved you, but when he explained it was just to make sure you were physically and mentally alright, you relaxed. It was handy to have someone that could tell you something was wrong with just one look, something you yourself might not have even noticed.

"Carl noticed your car, so he instructed me to tell you that we're in the garden." Your mouth made an "o" shape in silent understandment as you nodded and followed Marcus around the house. The short walk was silent, but comfortable. Soon you could see Carl relaxing in his wheelchair in the sun, looking as content as can be. You couldn't help the smile that bloomed on your face at seeing him. You've come to learn that this place, these people, were your safe place. You felt free here, not judged, not scrutinised. Nobody expected anything from you here and everything you did for Carl or for Marcus was met with appreciation.

Carl turned around at the sight of your footsteps on the small stone path and his face lit up "(Y/N)!" he exclaimed, opening his arms for a hug. You hugged him shortly and greeted the artist. "It's so good to see you! Come, come, sit down, let's have a chat!" he urged you as he moved towards a wooden bench overlooking the various flowers and bushes in the garden. From what you knew, Marcus not only took care of the old man, but the house, and by default the garden, as well. And if that was true, then he did an amazing job. The colours of all the petals were radiant and fresh, bees buzzing around happilly. It was a lovely sight. Sitting down, you made yourself comfortable. Carl stopped in front of you in a way that he could comfortably talk to you, but let you enjoy the sight as well. Something was telling him you needed it.

"Marcus, could you get us some drinks please?" he asked his android assistant gently. You always admired how Carl treated Marcus with such respect and care, as if he was a real person. All the time, you were met with people abusing their androids, seeing them as things to care for their every need, including receiving their master's anger. And although it felt obvious that one should treat their helpers respectfully, it was still a nice change. Another perk of spending time here. Marcus nodded with a small smile, asking Carl what he would like. "Some tea would be nice." Carl replied and Marcus turned to you. For some reason, you felt your face warm up slightly and you looked away from his enchanting eyes. Your mind ran a million miles per minute, trying to come up with something that wouldn't troube him too much. "Uhm, just some lemonade, please." you stammered after a second. Marcus nodded, never mentioning your stutter or pointing out your awkward behaviour.

When the android disappeared from view, Carl looked towards you "So, how is everything?" he asked, smiling. You never liked to answer that qestion, No answer felt right unless you went into detail, but you didn't want to burden him with all that. So you did the thing people usually do, you smiled and waved your hand dismissively "Ooh, you know. Everything is the same. Nothing interesting happening in my life." Carl nodded, but you were sure that being the perceptive person he is, he could see right through you. So he nodded without pressing the issue, and instead decided to press another one. "And how's Leo?"

It was as if that protective curtain around your happy place opened and you were exposed to the harsh light of reality. As if on autopilot, you hung your head slightly, the idea of looking into the old man's eyes suddenly uncomfortable. You chuckled awkwardly and shrugged "Yea, Leo's...Leo's good." you said, but your voice was small, void of the confidence and cheeriness it once posessed. Truth was, you haven't seen Leo in two days. He has been ignoring your calls as well as your texts. On one hand, you were worried about where he was, what he was doing and with who. But on the other...You were relieved. Your home is finally quiet, you don't wake up in the middle of the night to unexpected company coming over, because Leo invited them for a red ice party. You feel bad for feeling good when your partner is missing, but at the same time you can't help but enjoy it.

Sometimes fate has a strange way of playing with our lives. And it seems that in your case, Carl chose this day to finally choose the uncomfortable topic and interrogate you. "(Y/N), what's wrong?" the artist asked softly and you wondered when exactly has this became an intervention. "Nothing's wrong, work has just been tiring." Not a lie, but not a complete truth either. For some reason, you felt ashamed to admit to Carl how has Leo been treating you. You knew it wasn't right, but you also weren't someone who'd let others just push them around, and you knew Carl knew that. And maybe that's why you didn't want to tell him. Besides, how do you tell someone that their child is a toxic abuser?

"Cut it out (Y/N), I know something's wrong. Now, I know Leo doesn't have a job and that he's still on that...thing." Carl said the word as if it left a bad taste in his mouth "But I feel like there are things you haven't been telling me." The worst thing about this conversation wasn't the fact Carl knew you were lying to him, it was the way he was so nice about it. You felt like this whole thing was wrong, for some reason you felt like he should have been mad at you, should have been asking why you were so stupid as to staying with his stupid son, who everyone knew was a scumbag. You sure felt stupid. And yet... "You know I wouldn't do that." you smiled at him while racking your brain for an exit out of this conversation. "Hey, Marcus has been gone for quite a while, huh? I'll go help him out a bit." you didn't wait for an answer, already standing up and heading to the backdoor. Carl turned around to look after you and from behind you, you could hear him call out, cheekiness masking his worry "I may be old, but I'm not senile!"

Stepping into the house was like teleporting to another world. While the garden was full of colours and bustling life, the house was quiet and the brown hues of the furniture and decorations almost made it feel sleepy. But it let a lot of light through its big windows and it didn't feel heavy or suffocating. The worst you could say about it was that it felt serious, but glancing at the life sized giraffe taxidermy in the living room disproved even that claim.

Following the soft clacking of mugs and the conistent hum of the kettle, you made your way to the kitchen. Marcus was standing at the counter, preparing Carl's tea, your lemonade already done on a small tray on the table. His broad shoulders moved uder his uniform and you found the movement...mesmerising. And while observing Marcus quietly was quite normal for you, as creepy as that sounds, this was the first time you felt as if your...affection, towards the android might not be as platonic as would be appropriate. You were taken for pete's sake, you couldn't be fantasising about another man like that! But, you reasoned for yourself what was the harm? It wasn't like Leo was here and even if he was, he'd probably pay little mind to you. You would be surprised if he could even stand still for more than half a minute.

"I know you're there, (Y/N)." you heard Marcus chuckle, successfully bringing you out of your thoughts. You realised that during your internal argument, you have leaned against the doorframe and probably was watching him like a creep the whole time. Great. "Heh. Somehow, that does not surprise me." you chuckle in return, hoping to brush off your inadequate behavior. Marcus' shoulders shake in silent giggles as he looked behind his shoulder at your drink "Your lemonade is done. Do you want to drink it outside with Carl?" he asks and you shake your head. "It's okay, I'll stay here for a while, but I'll join you two afterwards." you explain, hoping he doesn't push the matter. But it seemed that luck was not on your side that day.

"Did Carl's questions about Leo tire you out?" Marcus tried to joke, but he quickly realised he must've brought up a sensitive subject at your lack of a positive reaction. You just hung your head, as you were used to when talking about your boyfriend and smiled, although the expression held very little joy. "Yeah...sort of." you said quietly and sipped on your lemonade. Your brows scrunched together and you odded a little "Hy, this is some really good lemonade!" you commented, hoping to divert the conversation once more. Marcus thanked you and finished with Carl's tea. Then, he wordlessly picked up the tray and went outside to give it to the man.

He was gone for quite some time, that you almost thought that you would really be left alone, even though you didn't know whether that was what you wanted anymore. But it seemed that Marcus was more in tune with your emotions than you would've guessed for an android. He quietly sat down next to you and after a bit of silence, during which he probably ran through all the things he could've said, he finally spoke up. "Why Leo?" Yo had to say that it was the last question you expected, although, you didn't really know what you were expecting.

Sighing, you shrugged "I don't know...anymore." you added after a second, deciding that if you were to tell someone about your troubles, it would be Marcus. Would he tell Carl? If he asked, which you know he would, then the android would tell the artist everything. But hey, at least you didn't have to do it yourself. "Anymore?" Marcus asked quietly and you felt those gorgeous eyes trained on your face as if it was the only thing he could see. You nodded "Yeah...I guess- I guess he wasn't that bad at the start." you shrugged, the memories of him showering you with sweet words and gifts that weren't expensive, but that much more meaningful, almost gone from your brain. "And then I found out about the drugs and I thought-" you took a sharp breath in, already feeling the familiar pressure behind your eyes "I thought, he loves me, I'll be there for him and help him get through it. But he never got better. And when he blamed everything on the drugs, or on the withdrawals I believed him, because...Well, because I never thought I'd end up in that kind of situation, you know?" you chuckled, the noise laced with self deprecation.

You felt his hand land on your arm gently. A fleeting thought of how warm his hand was crossed your mind, before you heard him speak "It's not your fault." You quickly nodded "I know, I know, but it doesn't feel like it, you know? From a young age, we are warned of the signs of abuse in relationships, so how could I have ended up in one?" you sighed "I just feel...stupid." Your shoulders sagged and you slumped a little in your chair, as if a tremendous weight was lifted from your chest.

Even though Marcus was already lookng at you, you somehow felt his gaze sharpen "Is he..." he breathed out and it looked like he didn't know how to phrase what he wanted to say, which made a weird feeling spill throughout your gut, because it was strange, almost unsettling to see the lovely android, who is always so composed, at a loss for words. "Does he hurt you?" "No, no!" you were quick to assure him and you could see his shoulders droop as he relaxed his posture slightly. "He can be a bit rough, but-" you shook your ead again "it's no a big deal."

"What do you mean, rough?" Marcus presed on, his tone still as gentle as if you were a scared animal that could run away if he made one wrong move and yet, his eyes never left yours and when you looked at him, looked at those beautiful eyes that you were sure could count as a piece of art, there was...emotion behind them. You were sure of it. You've lived around androids for the better part of your life and you knew how they looked, even when they were assisting someone. Never ever have you seen such intensity behind synthetic eyes. And yet, you almost felt...relieved. You cleared your throat "Oh it' uh, it's ot a big deal..." you tried to reassure him once again (or maybe you were trying to convince yourself it hasn't gone that far, that hope and love haven't blinded you towards physical abuse as well) "Just sometimes when we fight, he grabs me a bit too roughly. It usually doesn't even leave a mark." you shrugged, but as you were saying it, you realised how horrible it sounded. So you stopped yourself before you'd dive into explaining how sometimes it was not just grabbing but shoves and pushes that you'd endure from Leo when you were too uncooperative for his liking.

You turn to face Marcus again and he looks a you with such sadness it almost feels like it was him who went through thaat. It wasn't just pity, the kind of look the pharmacist would shoot you every time you'd come for that one cream to help soothe your skin after a rough argument with Leo. But no, Marcus seemed...almost heartbroken, the kind of heartbroken a child is when their beloved pet dies.

"You don't have to put up with it you know?" Marcus asked gently, although it felt more like a reminder "You only have to say a word and I'm sure Carl would have nothing against-" you stopped Marcus' rant by putting a hand on his chest "I know, I know," you said nodding "but I don't want to bring Carl into this. He shouldn't have to put up with whatever mess Leo gets into, let alone my problems."

"It's ok to ask for help." he put his hand over yours that was on his chest, caressing yor skin lightly with his thumb. Your eyes were immediately drawn to his and on yours, the contact making your cheeks heat up as you mentally cursed yourself. "I know, but..." you trailed off "I just feel like...if I got into this mess, I have to get out of it. I don't want to-" you groan "I guess I don't want to give him the satisfaction of having that complete control over me. I know it sounds stupid-" you went to pull away, feeling the hot shame flow over you, making you want to cringe away from your robot friend. But Marcus only queezed your hand and tugged you closer to him. "It's not stupid. And there's no need to be embarassed." he reassured you and you shot him a quick smile, which he reciprocated, before you continued "So yeah, I guess that's why I never...said anything. Besides, he's not always like this. Sometimes he wakes up and is the textbook version of a doting boyfriend. I guess...I guess it made me hope that something could be done, that if I try hard enough, he'll see what he's doig and we can ge through it together." you chuckled sadly and this time, Marcus hugged you.

At first, you went stiff as a board, not expecting such a gesture from him, after all, Marcus has never been very touchy, since he wasn't programmed for that, but by now you were suspecting that Marcus could do more than what he was programmed to do, even if you didn't understand how that worked. Gradually, you relaxed into the hug, letting your arms gently wrap around his neck as his were wrapped around your waist. You let your head rest on Marcus' chest and as you breathed in, you caught the smell of his clean clothes. The warmth rdiating from his body was also something you couldn't complain about. You stayed like this for what must have been minutes, before you felt the android shift. Thining he was done with the hug, you went to let go of him, but his arms only tightened around you. You looked up at him only to find him already looking down at you, his eyes portraying some sort of inner conflict.

Just as he was about to voice whatever was on his mind, you registered hurried footsteps as well as rushed sentences beig exchanged, and not in a positive manner. Both you and Marcus let go of each other just in time before Leo rushed through the dooray, visibly seething, with a worried Carl on his heels.

"I told you dad, I just want to talk to her, so either you tell me where she is, or-" he stops mid sentence when he sees you and Marcus in the kitchen. He looks disheveled, his hair tussled, his clothes wrinkled, he looked sweaty and the whites of his eyes were very red, no to mention his pupils, which were way out of proportion. For a while, he just looked beween you and Marcus, his gaze jumping from one to the other, before he nodded and chuckled throwing up his hands "Well isn't this just great. I come home to no girlfriend, no car, no food and when I finally find her, she's all over a fucking robot." he sneers first at you, then at Marcus. Leo takes a few steps towards you, extending his hand as if to grab yours and you can't help but back away out of habit. Leo, of course, notices this and chuckles awkwardly "C'mon babe, we're going, the taxi won't pay itself." he says it as if he was lightheartedly joking, but the tension in his voice as well as his body gives away his real emotions.

And for some reason, something inside you...switches. You've had enough. Enough of not being appreciated, enough of being ordered and pushed around, when you deserved something, someone much better. Someone who would hold you tenderly, who would smell like fresh clothes, who would be warm and lovely, who could at least take care of himself.

"I'm not going anywhere." you said calmly, shaking your head. Leo looked at you like you just grew another head "Sorry?" And you gladly repeated yourself, adding "Maybe if I would've known where the hell you've been for the last two days, I would have waited for you. But I guess I'm not worth picking up the phone for. That is, if you even have it." you allowed yourslf to release the frutration that's been building up inside you for god knows how long now. Carl's eyes were wide, shocked fromhearing all this new information about your relationship with his son.

"Babe, you know I was busy-" Leo tried, but you were having one of it "Yeah, I see how busy you are. Couldn't you at least wait until you sobered up till you came here?" you scoffed. Leo narrowed his eyes at you and growled lowly "Listen, we can talk this through at home, no need to make a scene." And you actually laughed, catching all three men present slightly off guard "Cause a scene? You roled up here in a taxi, which you expect me to pay for, because no way you have any money on you after wherever you've been, you barged in like a hurricane and demanded to see me, and why? Just because I dared to drive somewhere? The ca is the only thing you have to your name, you live in my aparment, off of my and your dad's money, which you still send on useless shit. You don't help me out with anything, whatever I do is not enough, even though last time you actually put any effort into our relationship was years ago, so when I decide to take a break and visit a place I actually feel welcome at, it's still somehow my fault."

Maybe if it weren't for the fact that your soon to be ex boyfriend's face was getting redder with your every word, you could actully focus on the weight being lifted from your soul after that monologue. But Leo didn't look just mad, but insane. A small part of you started regretting your words, but feeling Marcus' and Carl's presence slightly calm you down. Still, when he took another step towards you,your body tensed up and you took an instinctive step towards Macus, trusting him to intervene if something went wrong. And given how your stomach squeezed uncomfortably, the situatio was more than likely heading that way.

But Leo, of course, noticed this "Bullshit." he spat out "I try, so fucking hard to please you, to be enough for you. Every day, all I think about is you. So sometimes, I need something to help me relax. But none of you," he turned around to direct his words not only to you, but his father as well "none of you get that. You all just bring me down." at this point, Leo was borderline yelling and you tried to stop your body from shaking, out of fear or adrealine, you didn't know. "I was worried, have you thought about that?" he focused on you again"I was worried where you were, what happened. So I looked for you. And when I finally found you, my fucking girlfriend, what do I see?"he turns his attention to Marcus now, both of the men staring deep into each other's eyes "I found you all over this fucking piee of plastic." he growled with disdain "I have no idea what you and dad see in these monstrosities-" he would continue, if it wasn't for Carl jumping in "Leo, that's enough!" the old man said sternly, even though you knew very well how much it pained him. As Leo was turning around to face is father, Marcus grabbed his shoulder firmly "Perhaps you should leave." he said, keeping his voice calm, although you knew that he was anything but calm. You never noticed how expressive Marcus' eyes were until today...

"Not without her I'm not!" Leo jerked away from the android's hold, turning to face you again, bringing you out of your thoughts. "I told you, I'm not going anywhere." you said, suddenly more tired than anything "I'll pay for your fucking taxi, but it's the last time I ever want to see you." you offered, just wanting him to be gone already. You knew you didn't have to do it and that it would probably be wiser to not do it, but you just wanted him out of everyone's hair. At least for today. Carl sure didn't need this day to be more stressful than it already was.

Surprisingly, Leo huffed "Fine." and you pulled some money out of your wallet and handed it to him. And with that, he turned on his heel, muttering "Fucking bitch..." as he walked out, making Carl almost scold him again, but you placed your hand on his shoulder as a sign to let him go.

After that exchange, the tension disappeared from the room, until Carl moved to the table and you sat next to him, Marcus standing by Carl's side. For a while, none of you said a word, until he old artist sighed "I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know it was that bad." he muttered apologetically and you shook your head "It's ok, you couldn't have known." and after that, you had a very long conversation with Carl about you, Leo and everything that has been going on with him. Some of it he knew, most of it he didn't. You went through many different emotions during that conversation. Frustration, anger, but mostly relief. It was finally over. When the tears started maing their way down your face, you felt Marcus' hand gently squeeze your shoulder and you grabbed it with a sniffle, intertwining your fingers to ground yourself. You felt Carl's eyes follow your every move during that interaction, but you didn't look at him.

Finally, after the tears had mostly dried, the old man sighed "I think...I think I need to lie down." he said quietly and you almost apologised. Almost. Mrcus let go of your shoulder to help him, leaving you alone. After they disappeared up the stairs, you stood up and went into the small bathroom on the ground floor, to wash your face, now sticky from all the tears you've shed, but also to get your mind together. You knew you would have to leave at one point, but you really didn't want to go to your apartment. And definitely not alone. After all, Leo still had the keys. Changing the locks would be a pain, as well as making sure he won't try to pull some other shit in the ext few weeks, maybe even months. You knew that there was a chance he would leave you alone, but something was telling you it would not be so easy. Not with Leo. You sighed and returned to the kitchen, only to find Marcus already there, waiting for you.

"Would you like a cup of tea? There's an herbal mix that should help you calm down." he asked you so gently you thought you would start crying again. Instead you just sniffled and ndded with a thsnkful smile "That would be lovely, thank you." As Marcus started preparing the tea, you found yourself sanding awkwardly a few steps away from him, leaning against the counter. It felt wrong to just sit down. You didn't even know what to do with your eyes, or what to say, but luckilly Marcus beat you to it "Carl said to tell you that you should stay here tonight. Unless you don't want to of course." he informed you as gently as before. "No, that would actually be very nice, thank you." you said, relieved "I'll nee to bring some take out for him as a thank you." you said, knowing very well the artist liked some junk food every once in a while, despite his doctor's protests, as a treat. "You don't have to do that." Macus turned to you, while carefully filling up your cup with the hot water. You shook your head and closing your eyes with a sigh "It's only right, after what happened today."

Suddenly, you feel a presence right in front of you and you open your eyes to fid Marcus right in front of you. He leans forward, resting his hands on the counter on either side of your body, looking deeply into your eyes "You may feel like it, but none of this is your fault. You didn't deserve the way he treated you and you're not stupid, or a failure for getting tangled up in that." he said quietly, but firmly enough to let you know you should better get it through your thick head sooner than later. You gulped as you got lost in his mesmerising eyes that told you how sure he was of what he has just told you. And suddenly, your hands found their way to his chest, catching the android slightly by surprise. His eyes seemed to pull you in, until you realised that your faces actually were getting closer, both of you leaning towards each other, none of you brave enough to clos the gap entirely.

You saw something in Marcus's eyes shift and he exhaled, lowering his head unti it was resing on your shoulder. You almost automatically wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close. "I'm sorry, I..." he started, but agai, didn't quite know how to continue "This is all very new to me, but... something is telling me I- we should wait." he confesses, chosing to bluntly say what he was feeling, probaby figuring out you knew he gained the ability to feel and that he definitely felt something for you. He could feel you nod next to his head "Yeah, that's...that's probably for the best." you pulled away slightly, and he could sense that your body temperature rose slightly, especially in your face "But in the future...I would really like to try again...I think." you said bashfully and Marcus couldn't help the smile growing across his face.

Sure, you had a long journey of healing and finding yourself ahead of you. And inevitably, he would have to talk to Carl about his deviation, but as long as he could figure out his newly gained sentience alongside you and help you flourish again and find that spark that had almost been snuffed out of you, he could wait for eternity.

[leviscolwill]

daydreamin'

pairing: more jude bellingham x f1 driver!reader

summary: you get interviewed by your celebrity crush after getting your first pole position, and you boyfriend can't stop teasing you for it. [wc: ~850]

contents: reader is feeling silly, fluff, awful attempt at being funny ‼️NOT proofread (i'll do it later 😪)

req: We need more driver gf x jude 🙏🙏🙏

note: this is sort of a part 2 to ballroom extravaganza but it can definitely be read as a stand alone !! i'm happy that you guys enjoyed my f1 driver!reader work, i have a few more requests for this trope that i'll write when i find the time :D

now playing: daydreamin' by ariana grande (yours truly)

"y/n don't freak out, alright ?"

the words of your race engineer in your ears were already freaking you out, you were already imagining your flying lap deleted because of track limits or a penalty.

"you're on pole! congrats y/n, you deserve it."

"no way, no way... i think this is the best day of my life." you couldn't help but scream in joy, probably destroying your engineer's ears.

"fuck, thank you so much guys... i love this team so much, i swear." you cringed at your sappy comments but you couldn't help yourself. you had a hard time adjusting during your rookie year in f1 and the first few months were quite challenging to you. but this, it was the proof you were getting there, that you couldn't give up.

getting out of your car, you ran towards your team in the parc fermé as they kept congratulating you for your great result. as your team's engineers and mechanics kept patting your back, your eyes met your boyfriend's. you hugged him strongly as if he would slip away from you if you let him go.

"i'm so proud of you my love. you're the best." he kissed the top of your helmet before walking away to get your interview done.

you watched lando get interviewed by jenson button, as he finished p3. he'd always been comfortable doing media work, something you definitely needed to improve. you dreaded this moment, jenson button was one of your favourite drivers when you were younger and you had a little celebrity crush on him back then. of course, it was no longer the case, but you were terrified of embarrassing yourself in front of him, even more so knowing cameras would be filming the moment in 4k.

lando went to congratulate you after finishing his interview while you were waiting for perez to complete his. quickly, a mic was handed to you and you walked to the interview zone.

"y/n, what a lap! congratulations on the first pole of your career, hopefully the first of many..." jenson beamed.

"thank you... i hope to get more poles if i get rewarded by a jenson button interview." you were still out of breath from your lap and the excitement you felt. your nervousness dissipated a bit when jenson laughed at your attempt at a joke.

"that was a perfect lap, you think you can keep that position tomorrow for the race ?" jenson asked you.

"of course it's gonna be hard but both lando and i have the possibility of going home with a great result, maybe a 1-2. we just need to find out the best strategy and my job is just to make sure i drive perfectly."

"that you showed you can do. once again, congratulations y/n, pole sitter here in sao paulo. let's hope i get to interview you tomorrow as a race winner this time!"

"now that's good motivation, see you tomorrow." you waved at the crowd before getting your trophy and getting the pictures done.

jude was already waiting for you with a big smile on his face. he hugged you again and peppered kisses across your face.

"my pole sitter, you were brilliant today."

"thank you, i thought i would pass out after crossing the finish line."

"we need to talk about that interview though, you really want to replace me with that old man?" he raised his eyebrow questioning you.

"he's not old! i might replace you with him if you keep being mean to my main man like that..." you took a quick glance at jude, gauging his reaction.

"maybe you should ask him to take you to the restaurant that your boyfriend got you for tonight, if he'd do a better job than me.' he said feigning offence.

"mmhh you're right, i'll ask him when i see him..." you ducked jude's smack that was aimed at the back of your head and started to run away.

"my media duties are calling sorry." you ran off before jude could make you regret your words, only turning around to stick your tongue at him like a kid.

jude walked towards mclaren's motorhome to wait for you when someone started walking side by side with him.

"how long have you two been together ?"

he looked at the origin of the voice only to find jenson button.

"um, it'll be one year in december. are you planning on stealing her from me before that?" he joked with jenson.

"i don't think i could steal her from you even if i wanted to from the way she looks at you, you two are lovely. see you tomorrow mate" he patted jude's back before going his own way.

when you joined jude at mclaren's hospitality, he had a big smile attached to his face.

"what happened to you ? are you texting your other girlfriend ?" you asked, sitting down next to him

"i'm just proud of you." he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, kissing the side of your head.

he liked the fact that his little encounter would remain a secret between him and your first crush.

[libraryofgage]

A Place Like Steve in a Boy Like This (2)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two (you're here!) Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedidiah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) (I also have plans for this one actually they just need to simmer a little lmao)

Hi welcome back to my Mummy Crossover where Steve's parents are Rick and Evelyn O'Connell this took forever bcuz the words didn't want to word correctly lmao

Anyway, here we are! Some interactions, some more insight on all of Steve's talents, a teensy bit of chaos killed before it could flourish. What more could you want?

As always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

--------

"Breathe in."

Steve slowly inhales, keeping his chest and arms steady.

"Now pull as you breathe out."

Steve steadily exhales, squeezing the trigger as he does, and feeling the gun kick in his hand. Several yards away, a tin can that's little more than a speck in the distance topples to the ground.

Before Steve can realize his aim was good, the gun is plucked from his hand and he's lifted into the air. Weightlessness overwhelms him, and he shrieks with delight as he falls back into his father's arms. "That's my boy!" his father says, tossing him into the air again.

"Oh, do be careful, Rick. He broke an arm the last time you threw him around like that," Steve's mother says, a proud smile tugging at her lips despite her words.

Steve finds himself safely held in his father's arms a second later, his heart racing and his breaths short from exhilaration. "Again! Again!" he shouts, looking up at his father hopefully.

"Sorry, kiddo, you heard your mother," his father says, messing up Steve's hair before lifting him onto his shoulders. Steve grips his father's hair tightly, grinning as his father jogs over to the tin can. "You'll be able to shoot running in no time."

"Am I gonna be as good as you?" Steve asks, leaning over his father's head. "How long will that take?"

"You'll be better than me, Steve. It'll take a few years, though. At least one hundred."

"One hundred?! I'm gonna be bones by then! Dust and bones!"

"Nah, you'll be fine," his father says, waving his hand dismissively.

"I'll be dead!"

"In my experience, the dead don't make a habit of staying that way."

Steve huffs and rolls his eyes, pinching his father's cheeks and tugging on them until he laughs, grabs Steve's hand, and playfully bites his fingers. Steve shrieks again, laughing as he tugs his hand away and yanks on a few strands of his father's hair for revenge.

------

Steve, Max, and Eddie get discharged within days of each other, and even though Steve was expecting his house to be invaded by his friends, he still finds himself wishing he'd had a few more days with his parents before everyone showed up and started interrogating him. In fact, he almost considers ignoring the doorbell when it rings the day after Max is discharged.

"Steve!" Rick shouts, his voice carrying all the way from his carefully maintained weapons room. "Can you get that?"

"Can't put it off any longer," Robin says, grinning at him from her spot on the couch. She stretches out her leg and nudges Steve's thigh, urging him to get up.

He sighs, pushing himself off the couch and grimacing at the slight tug on his sides. "Got it," he calls back, walking to the door and bracing himself before opening it.

The porch is packed with his friends, Dustin and Eddie at the very front. "Finally!" Dustin says, pushing past Steve to get into the house.

Everyone else streams in after him, and Steve ends up just holding the door. "Yeah, welcome in, make yourselves at home, thanks so much for calling before showing up," he mutters, closing the door after the final person, Will, has walked inside.

He follows after them, relieved they filter into the living room instead of heading to the kitchen. Uncle Jonathan has been in there all day, trying his hand at a new gin brewing technique that makes Steve's head spin just thinking about it.

Steve flops onto the couch next to Robin, dropping his head onto her shoulder. Dustin looks ready to speak, and Steve is ready to pretend he's listening, when his mother walks into the room. She looks around with a concerned frown, her fingers covering her mouth and tapping against her lips. "Steve," she says, her voice slightly distracted, "dónde está el machete de tu papá?"

"En el garaje," he replies, waving off her thanks.

"You speak Spanish?" Max asks, glancing at Evelyn as she walks past her to reach the garage.

"I speak several languages," Steve tells her. He feels the couch shift next to him and looks over to see Will scooting over to make room for Eddie. "Spanish, Hebrew, Arabic, Egyptian, French, Greek, a little Urdu, but that one is rusty."

"Holy shit," Mike says, staring at Steve like he's shapeshifted into an alien, "you're smart?!"

"Wait, is that how you guys cracked the Russian code so quickly?" Dustin asks. "Why did you make Robin learn Russian if you already knew it?"

"I didn't make Robin do anything. She started learning while I called a guy I know who can speak Russian. He only managed to get back to me the same day Robin got the whole thing translated."

"You know a guy who can speak Russian?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow at Steve when he glances over.

Steve shrugs. "I know a lot of guys who know a lot of things. I met all of them while traveling with my parents," he explains.

"Where have you been?" Will asks.

"Every continent except Antarctica. More places than I can count, actually."

"Why did you travel so much?" El asks, her gaze drifting toward the mantle where several of his mother's souvenirs are carefully arranged. "Did those come from your travels?"

"I followed my parents while they worked until high school. And yeah, those are souvenirs, you can pick them up, but be careful."

As though the lack of permission was the only thing holding her back, Max jumps up and hurries over to the mantle, pulling down a small jar and turning it over in her hands. Its lid is shaped like the head of Anubis, and Steve is just realizing what she's picked up when his father walks into the room.

Rick stops, stares at the jar in Max's hand, and then marches over to her, a man on a mission. He swipes the jar, ignoring Max's shout in protest, and looks it over carefully. His expression becomes disbelieving, fond, and annoyed all at once. "Evie!" he shouts, turning around and about to go looking for her when she appears in the doorway.

"No need to shout, dear, I was just in the other room," she says, smiling until she sees the jar he's holding.

Her expression says it all, but Rick still holds the jar up, smiles sweetly at her, and asks lightly, "Evie, darling, is this what I think it is?"

"Well," Evelyn says, rolling her shoulders back in a way that tells Steve they're about to argue. And then start kissing like nobody's around. "It very well might be."

"What is it?" Dustin asks, sliding closer to get a better look at the jar when Rick holds it higher.

"Really, Evie? Did you forget the part where these things are cursed? Did you completely forget what happened to the Americans who touched these?"

"Aren't you American?" Max asks.

"And aren't you touching it?" Erica adds.

"It's certainly not cursed anymore," Evelyn says, walking over and easily plucking the jar from Rick's hands. She looks it over, idly brushing off some of the dust. "Imhotep is thoroughly dead. You made sure of that, dear."

"I'm sorry, did she say cursed?" Mike asks.

"Yes," El says.

As Evelyn and Rick stare each other down, Steve sighs and drops his head on the back of the couch. "It's a jar used in ancient Egypt to store the organs of mummies. That one specifically belonged to Imhotep, a mummy with a curse. He ate people and tried to sacrifice my mom to bring his girlfriend back and killed a bunch of Americans in the process. But Mom and Dad defeated him, like, twice and he hasn't been a problem since, so Mom is pretty sure he's gone for good now."

"There is no way any of that is true," Max says, huffing as Rick takes the jar back before Evelyn can even think of letting Max look at it again. "I mean, seriously? Mummies?"

"Oh, inter-dimensional monsters are perfectly believable, but mummies are a step too far?" Steve asks.

"Inter-dimensional monsters?" Evelyn asks, whirling around on Steve and placing her hands on her hips.

"So that's where he gets it from," Eddie says, his voice soft and more than a little amused.

Before Steve can comment on that (or try to kick Eddie from where he's sitting on the couch), his father moves to stand next to his mother, arms crossed over his chest with a stern look and still holding the jar. "Wanna share with the class, kid?" he asks.

Steve grimaces, knowing that tone of voice and sinking a little lower on the couch. "Not really, no. Most of the class is already in the loop."

"Humor us," his mother says, her voice firm and leaving no room for argument.

"Gee," Erica says, shifting closer to the doorway, "I'm suddenly feeling pretty hungry. Anyone else wanna go loot the kitchen?"

"I'm in," Max says, hurrying across the room in long strides.

"So are we," Mike adds, grabbing Will's hand and dragging him along before he can get caught up in whatever shit storm might occur. Lucas quickly follows after, flashing an apologetic smile at Steve once he's behind Evelyn and Rick.

They've all disappeared before Steve can warn them about Jonathan's gin experiments, but he figures they deserve to have their nostrils burned from the smell for abandoning him.

Only Steve, Robin, Eddie, Dustin, and El are left with Steve's parents frowning and looking at them expectantly. Steve manages to hold out under their stare for a few seconds before he sighs, sits up straight, and waves for them to sit in the loveseat perpendicular to the couch.

Once they're settled, he glances at Dustin, gets a shrug in return, and rolls his eyes. Robin places a hand on his shoulder, getting his attention to flash a grin and say, "Good luck, dingus. Just know I'll be thoroughly entertained by the end of this."

"Gee. Thanks."

Eddie snorts, settles back into the couch, and helpfully offers, "I mean, it can't be worse than being the main course of a demobat feast, right?"

"Oh, I assure you," Evelyn says, her eyes narrowing, "it certainly can."

"Oh, damn," Eddie says, shaking his head, "What do you want on your tombstone, Stevie?"

Steve rolls his eyes as Robin laughs and high-fives Eddie. He ignores them for now, secretly grateful for the lighter feeling in his chest that their joking has given him, and looks at his parents. "I guess it started with Will's disappearance."

-------

Tag List (there should be room still! So, if you'd like a tag, let me know!)

@trueghostqueen, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @thoughtfulbreadpolice, @mogami13, @blcksh33p1987, @beawritingbooks, @remus-is-trans, @your-confused-friend, @estrellami-1, @nburkhardt, @vacantwatchers, @yeahhhh-suga, @phantomcat94

@blackpanzy, @ape31, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @plantzzsandpencilzzs, @flustratedcas, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @just-a-tiny-void, @disrespectedgoatman, @fallingleavesinthewind, @nymime, @nectandra, @moomkin77, @nadenia, @resident-disappointment, @copper-arrows, @romanticdestruction, @rowanshadow26

[coucouatoi]

we're not who we used to be | h.s.

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Summary: Some letters you've written but never sent to Harry over the years.

Warnings: Angst... so much... there's some fluff, emphasise on the some, there's a hopeful ending tho!

A/N: Sooo this is the childhood friends to strangers fic no one asked for... Hope you all enjoy! This is my writing debut in Harry land :)

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

April 10' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your first fan

Hiya Harry,

It's currently 11:29 pm about 10 hours away from your audition. I figured since you told me to stop praising you and boosting your ego, I'm writing down the rest of the things I want to say.

Firstly, I know you're going to smash it! All the judges are going to want you in. There's no chance that they won't see how special you are, how you're the next big thing.

I won't let you back out of it last second! Anne, Gemma and I are ready to drag you onto the stage, we've discussed it thoroughly...

Secondly, I'm already so proud of you. This is a huge step, I know how nervous you are about it. How you think that everything is going to go wrong and that you'll fail. I've got enough hope in you for the both of us. I'll stand by your side the whole time and I'll cheer the loudest.

To finish, you're Harry Styles. You can do anything.

Break a leg superstar!!

Cheering you on already,

Your first-ever fan

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 12' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your biggest fan

Harry!

You've made it all the way to the finals! It's crazy! I knew you could do it but seeing you go further and further has been surreal.

I hope you and the other boys get along well! We haven't had much chance to really gossip about it all, you seem excited with them!

The finale is set to start in about 2 hours and I had to get some emotions out (my mom was tired of hearing them... rude) Anyway! I remembered that I had written you a letter a few months ago and now I'm back in this notebook.

I'm so nervous, excited and kind of nauseous about watching the last episode tonight. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now... You must be so scared but incredibly jittery!

I'm counting the days until I get to see you again! I want to hear everything that's happened behind the scenes! You know how nosy I am!

I've already taken up two pages so I'll stop for now.

You can do this!

Talk to you soon,

Your favourite person ever

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 7' 2011

To: You From: Me <3

You called me Angel today...

I don't know what to make of that.

I had so many butterflies in my stomach.

Could you call me that again?

You're my favourite person,

Angel

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

November 20' 2011

To: Harry From: Angel

Boo!

You finally let me listen to the full album today! Said you had to be there when I listened to it so you could give me all the secrets. You also wanted to see live how I reacted to every song. You're too cute.

"I Want" is my current favourite.

You did tell me that you'd resonated with a lot of the lyrics you sang on this album. That almost scares me.

How did you relate? Who was going through your mind?

You do have the world at your feet now. I shouldn't feel jealous but I do like having you all to myself. Don't worry I'll get used to sharing...

The Up All Night Tour is starting soon! I'm happy that you've invited me to come to some shows. I'll be there no matter if I have to miss school.

I have to show all these newbies that I'm THE biggest Harry Styles fan out there!

Hopefully, you thought about me while signing.

Because I think about you all the time,

Your favourite fan.

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

April 13' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel

G'Day Mate!

So you're officially all the way in Australia now! That's so exciting I wish that you could have stuffed me into your suitcase... sniff

I bet it's super warm there! Or not wait their seasons aren't the same as ours, are they? I'm not even sure...

Hopefully, you can tan a little while you're there! Don't go near any animals or insects!!

I miss you a lot, maybe I'll send this one (spoiler I definitely won't).

Talk to you soon hopefully.

Go swim in the ocean,

Someone who wants to be in it

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 29' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel?

You haven't come to see me since you've been back.

Too busy being a celebrity?

I've been seeing all these tabloids... I'm not allowed to be jealous I know but I miss you.

I hope you've missed me.

I really really wish you were here with me or that I was with you wherever you are now.

I just want to be us.

Have you forgotten your friend from the small town already?

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

January 1' 2013

To: Harry From: Someone You've Hurt

I don't know what to think,

You kissed me. It made me happy.

You said it was a New Year's kiss.

You said you drank too much, it hurt.

You ended up kissing someone else about 20 minutes later.

That hurt even more it almost made me feel used.

I'm happy you were my first kiss.

I don't think you'll even remember it,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

November 27' 2014

To: Harry From: Me

I love the new album, took me a while to finally listen to it. I thought you'd come home and make me listen to it in your presence.

You didn't. The first album that I've listened to alone.

Spaces and Fools Gold are my favourite songs. I wonder how many lyrics you resonate with. How many of them did you write?

Come home?

Only for a day please,

Your first Angel

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

October 21' 2015

To: Harry From: Y/N

It's been a while,

It's your mom's birthday today. Well only for a few more hours...

She invited my family and me to the party, and of course we went. I didn't think you'd be there. I haven't seen you in almost a year.

It was fun.

Catching up about everything that's been going on with you and the band. Your life is so much more interesting than mine now.

I'm just a boring college student... you're this huge star but that's ok there's no one like you for me, you're my safe place. No matter how far away.

You asked about my love life and I told you about the date I had a few days ago. You asked if we had sex, I lied and said yes. I didn't want to embarrass myself by telling you no one's ever been with me like that.

We ended up getting drunk. Too drunk.

We fucked.

You took my virginity and you have no idea... should I tell you? You were so good. So gentle, loving but you fucked with a purpose, you needed to get off. I won't ever see your childhood bedroom the same way.

This was only a few hours ago.

I've felt every emotion about it. Now I'm crying because I know you'll find someone new to share a bed with. I'm just a notch in your headboard.

It meant everything to me.

But I think I regret it...

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 12' 2017

To: You From: Me

Really?

I hope Only Angel isn't about me.

But I'm overanalysing every single song. Is one about me? Did you think of me while making this album?

We haven't talked since the last time we saw each other. When we fucked again. It wasn't even the second time, after your mom's birthday two years ago we never stopped. It's all we do when we see each other.

It doesn't make me feel all that much better but I feel like if it wasn't for that we wouldn't even know each other anymore.

I'm moving away this year. Got a job offer in Canada and I'm taking it.

Maybe I'll get over you... hopefully.

I can't live my whole life waiting for someone who I don't know anymore.

I'm blocking your number.

I miss who we used to be,

Your first-ever fan

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 4' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Hello,

You've crawled your way back into my life, Harry. This morning, you decided to send me your album. Your new one, Fine Line. Your fans haven't even heard it yet. The public hasn't either.

You didn't write a single thing in your email, the mp3 link was staring me down with your automated signature. Not even a greeting.

I shouldn't have listened to it.

I don't know why you sent it to me. We haven't spoken or crossed paths in over a year. Not since I moved and tried to get rid of every way of contact between us.

I still haven't answered, I don't think I will.

You don't get to know what I feel about it. Not anymore.

I'm sorry Harry.

I've moved on,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 13' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Your new album came out today.

I'm proud of you even if we are strangers now.

You're a superstar.

I always knew you would be,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 17' 2020

To: H From: Y/N

I saw that you had to postpone your tour.

You must feel so defeated.

I know I do. Everything's been closed and opened and closed again here in Canada. It's getting exhausting.

I hope the world starts working again soon.

This all sucks...

Crossing my fingers for the tour,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 18' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Hi,

You sent me the album before the release again.

This time you did say something: I miss you Angel, Can we meet up?

I didn't think I could feel so many butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a teenager again. And I cried more than once listening to Harry's House.

I'm still considering if I should answer... if I do what should I choose? Should I agree and go into the unknown or forget it happened and keep on going with my life?

I miss you too... the one I knew. Not the one who used me. I guess I used you too... How did we get here?

All I want is to be loved and to be in love.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for the hurt this will bring but maybe I should just be a grown-up about this...

I want you back in my life.

That scares me,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 16' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Well,

I'm going to the Love On Tour today and after we are going to "meet". We even have until the 20th because that is when your next show is, after today obviously.

You were so excited when I agreed.

It's almost as if no time has passed when we text (he changed his number in the last few years... no need for an embarrassing unblocking).

My friend, the one who convinced me to agree, helped me pick out an outfit. Thankfully for her, I won't stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd of feather boas and cowboy hats.

I really want this to work.

I want to believe that we can be good again. We can be healthy for one another again but I'll be worried until I see you.

Until we speak.

I won't let myself touch you, I have a feeling that it would be far too easy to fall back into a bed. Maybe a hug would be okay.

I'm excited for the show, to see the Superstar Harry Styles in action. After so many years you have to have evolved so much.

You aren't little Harry from Worcestershire anymore.

I'm not the same person I once was either.

See you tonight.

Break a leg,

Y/N

[pixelatedraindrops]

Hello everyone!! Today I grow a year older :3 (and I hate it lmao) FEEL FREE TO REPLY BIRTHDAY WISHES IF YOU WANT :3

So, over the time I've come back here, I've become pretty confident and proud of my once hidden passion about sick characters, sickfics and sick comfort/whump... 🌡️

And you all have been so supportive and sweet despite my weirdness so I thank you for that. You helped me feel more confident in my otherwise weird fixation <3 So, for my birthday I thought I'd try and make up a little drawing challenge for anyone who wants to give it a try... There are soo many talented artists on this site (and in this fandom)

So... It's your turn to target your faves now. You will see how fun it is and hopefully understand why I love doing it so much. 😈🌡️

(plus it's my birthday and I require some sustenance LMAO JKJK)

But yeah anyone can join in. This is just for fun though! You don't have to if you don't want to! I think its okay to ask for some food on my birthday though...right?? X'D So if you wanna do sth for my birthday...then... 👉👈 💦

CHALLENGE BELOW~

DRAW YOUR FAVE ON A SICK DAY CHALLENGE🌡️😷🥵🤧

~~~~

(Mmmmkay, I am lying to myself when I say this isn't mostly aimed at the RainCode community... X'D Can't help myself. But anyone can join regardless of the fandom!!)

So here's the challenge and the rules!! (featuring my two main lil targets ofc :3)

Regardless of who it is, put your fave through some sickness hell >:3c I'd love to see it! Make em' as miserable as you want!

destroy them 😈 jkjk XD

If you're in the RainCode community you can target anyone, but as you know, my main targets are Yuma and Makoto. If they're also your faves and who you decide to use, that will make me extra happy!

Some tips for anyone new to drawing a sick day scenario art. A few things that make it look convincing are the following:

Pajamas or Loungewear

Messy Bed Hair

Fever flushed face w sweat or at least a red nose

Tired Eye bags

Shivery body

Ice Pack or a Compress on the head

Thermometer sticking from their mouth

LOTS OF BLANKETS

Tissues or medicine surrounding them

Tea or Soup (or both)

Those are just to name some from the top of my head. If you'd like some pointers on how to make a character look ill, check out my Fever Coloring Guide. This is for digital artists but traditional artists can try it too!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

The scene can be anything you want to, it can be fluffy and wholesome (with a caretaker) it can be angsty, or it can be silly. Its all up to you! Do it for the sake of fluff! Caretaking scenes are the best for any kind of relationship >w<

Either way, have fun with it!! I look forward to see what people make if they decide to give it a try! It doesn't even have to be a full on picture! Doodles and sketches are fine too! Just show me something >w<

(feel free to tag me and say happy b-day and mention my challenge, I am proud to be known for this and would love for many to participate :3) I wanna see you take a go at it :3 Show me your style! :D

~

~~~

(wow look at me misspelling the word writing on text when I did it fine with my own hands lol)

Now, I know not everyone can draw...

Well never fear! I accept writing as well! ✍️✍️✍️

(hi vivia lol sorry for giving you a cold, at least you have an excuse to read and do nothing now haha x3)

Sickfics are one of the biggest things I live for! Any little drabbles or full fics with more than one chapter are welcome! Again target who you want any fandom you want, but I'll def be super happy if you make a RainCode fic. And even happier if you target my faves as well, but again, anything will do! Just make a cute story about your fave being miserable and being tended to! Trust me, it's super fun!

You can add injury or angst to the scene but I'd like illness to be the main focus of it.

Feel free to post your writing here and tag me or mention my AO3!

If you need a start to your fic, look on my blog for illness prompts! Maybe it can help give you a good start or give some inspiration! (thats why I share 'em :3)

I look forward to anything you try to write!

~

That's about all!! I hope you decide to participate! ✨

Good luck, have fun, and godspeed you future whumpers! 😈

(nah jk XD)

AGAIN THIS IS FOR FUN! NO PRRSSURE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO!

[filmtv2022]

To The Bitter End:

The Meeting of a Lifetime (Extra Scene)

Series Masterlist (It is 18+ as a whole... even though this part isn't)

Synopsis: This scene occurs right before Doc and Y/N share a quiet moment on the porch after meeting for the first time. Doc, Wyatt, and Y/N share drink and laughter together, and for the first time in a long time, John and Y/N feel alive.

Warnings: Language + drinking + smoking + spoilers? (It connects right into the rest of the story, but I think anyone could probably read this and be okay)

A/N: Well, it's been nearly two years since I posted To The Bitter End, and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I went back and read it again, and I have to say, I'm so unbelievably proud of that story. With that being said, recently a few ideas for extra scenes popped into my head for this story, and I thought... why not write them for others to enjoy (hopefully). As always, I apologize for any errors! Also, I'll put the stupid page break in once Tumblr gets it shit together! :)

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Passing the bottle of whiskey across the table to Wyatt you could feel the impending lull in conversation. Maybe it was the alcohol loosening your tongue or perhaps it was the mesmerizing smirk that played across your guest’s face, but you just couldn’t help yourself, “So, John, you said you’re a doctor. Of what exactly?” 

Wyatt tucked in his drink, falling silent as his focus darted between you and John. Not yet worried, but also unwilling to relax. He’d seen you take a conversation a step to far one too many times to be comfortable. 

“Dentistry,” John sipped at his drink, hearing your murmured hum of incredulity he continued on, “I sense skepticism. Care to enlighten me as to why?” 

“How perceptive,” Clearing your throat, you tossed back the rest of your whiskey, “It's just that you don’t strike me as a man who’s willing to settle down. Which I assume would be necessary to have a thriving practice. I truly have a hard time picturing you like that… a white coat covering your fine suit and tie, no gun in your holster, and only patient after patient to occupy your mind. It doesn’t add up. You’re an intellectual, I’ll give ya that. A businessman, sure. But one to call any place home longer than absolutely necessary… never. You, John Holliday, are a wanderer. I can see it in your eyes."

Doc remained quiet as you reached for the bottle, and poured yourself another. There was something in his gaze as it remained fixed to yours. A dark haze belied his base nature, but for John, it was the distinct feeling of you peeling back the layers of his cultured facade as easily as breathing that terrified and intrigued him the most. Trapped in your aura, he finished his own drink, letting the glass thud on the thick wooden table before inhaling deeply from his cigar, “And you darlin’… are as dangerous as they come.” 

“Perhaps,” you chewed the inside of your lip, tugging your features into a sly smile, “And yet, what does man, such as yourself, have to fear of little ol’ me?” 

“Everything,” John’s tone was serious and steady, and yet nothing in his response could hide the way you drew him in. 

You clung to his every move, tracking the minute changes in his countenance. The pull of his lips, the bob of his throat… the hitch of his lungs. It felt as though there were no secrets between you at this moment, and it thrilled you.

“Smart answer, Mr. Holliday,” the uncomfortable grit of Wyatt’s cough broke the trance, “Now where were we? Ah, that's right we were discussing my brother's propensity to find himself embroiled in less than lawful activities from which he cannot extricate himself without help despite being a legendary lawman. That's precisely what we were talking about, care to elaborate Wyatt?”

“You're a downright menace, you know that?” Wyatt's huffed chuckle assured you that no offense had actually been taken.

“Yes, I’m well aware. And who do we have to blame for that?” you brought your glass up and took a deep swig of the amber liquid, “Because truthfully, I’m not sure what you expect of me after bein’ cooped up in this hell hole of a tinder box all day while you go off galavanting as some goddamn hero of the wild west. But again, I am glad you aren’t dead. I don’t know what the hell I’d do without ya. Quite honestly, I’m afraid I’d be joining you six feet under when Virg and Morgan got a hold of me ‘cause somehow I’d be blamed for your death.”

“Jesus Christ, Y/N you can't say shit like that.”

“I can… and I will,” smirking at Wyatt you couldn’t help, but swell with pride at the sound of John’s laughter. Joining in the levity, your tone was light and airy as you spoke, “Now if you don’t mind. I’m going to get some air.” 

Despite opening the open windows, the room had grown stuffy with heat from the fire & smoke from the men’s cigars.

Needing a small break for fresh air you excused yourself to the front porch. Wyatt took advantage of the moment to go seek out yet another bottle of whiskey as you all had worked your way through the first. 

The air had cooled substantially from this afternoon and sent goosebumps running over your skin. But you didn’t care, the clean, crisp scent of the air was exactly what you needed to clear your head. There on the porch, staring out into the vast nothingness ahead of you, the palpable tension you felt in your body began to dim. Losing a loved one was something that scared you through and through, and realizing how close you’d come to that today put your nerves on high. The creak of the door opening had you turning your head back to see who had joined you. You were pleasantly surprised to see John making his way towards you. Laying your palms on the wooden railing in front of you, you closed your eyes & and let your head fall back a little as you inhaled deeply. The scent of the night air mixed with another, one that over time you’d realize was distinctly John. It was a perfect mix of whiskey, smoke & sweat. It filled your lungs sweetly bringing with it a feeling of peace. 

You could feel him stop behind you, only a few inches separated the two of you. The pair of you stood there for a moment in silence. Your eyes were still closed allowing your body to relax. John on the other hand was fixated on you. His eyes mapped your face, trying to commit every beautiful feature to memory. His gaze landed finally on your lips, and the longer John stared the more difficult it became for him to refrain from leaning down to kiss you. A small gust of wind blew over the porch causing you to shiver slightly. Without thinking John removed his jacket & placed it over your shoulders before rubbing his hands along your upper arms in an attempt to warm you. Sighing with contentment, you leaned your body back until you met his frame. The skirt of your light yellow dress blew in the wind wrapping itself around John.

Opening your eyes you turned your head to look up at John.

“Thank you. Thank you for keeping him safe.”

“Anything for you darlin’ ” 

It was here on this night that the invisible string that would tie you two together had started to form.

[thetriplets3]

Could you do one about matt, where the reader has migraines and matt does everything he can to help her, lots of physical touch, words of affirmation etc

Ilysm and your writing ur amazing<3

as someone who’s had migraines and headaches every single day for 4 years I loved writing this. i hope you’re doing well feel free to message me if you ever need to talk, i know how difficult this can be. sending my love to you

꩜ migraine ꩜

Waking up in excruciating pain has become my new normal. From the moment my eyes open I’m greeted by the familiar feeling of a migraine. The dull pressure around my head makes it feel like it’ll burst at any given moment.

Rubbing my eyes, I sharply inhale as a sharp jolt enters my temple and eye making it feel as if a nail has been driven into my head. Pulling the blanket over my head I groan. This isn’t how I expected today to go. You and I were supposed to spend the day in the city. Aimlessly reaching for my phone I turn Siri on and instruct her to send you a text.

“Hey Siri, send Matt a text” I grumble.

“What do you want to say?” Siri's voice irritates me more.

“Hi love, would we be able to do today’s plans another day? I woke up with a migraine again. I'm not doing well, it's taking a toll on me and I don’t wanna be a drag on our date. I’m really sorry I feel so bad. I know how busy you’ve been and how excited you were for this and I’ve ruined that. I'm sorry. If you aren’t busy maybe we can call later? I miss you and I love you” I tiredly mumbled to Siri to type out for me.

Putting my phone fast down on my nightstand, I bury my face into my pillow and pull the blankets up to my chin and try to sleep the pain away. I only slept for probably an hour until I breathed in a familiar scent. I slowly open my eyes to see you laying beside me. I waste no time burying my face into your chest and wrapping my arms around you.

“I'm so glad you're here” I mutter.

“I figured you'd either need or want some help since you aren't feeling good and I missed you” you whisper, making sure not to worsen my headache. “Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?”

“I need my heated eye mask and my meds please, you know where they are right?” I ask.

“I'll go get them, I'll be quick” you softly say as you plant a kiss on my forehead.

Staying true to your words you’re back in a few minutes with my nice and hot eye mask and some meds to hopefully ease the pain.

Putting the warm mask over my eyes I get comfy, resting my head on your chest as one arm wraps around my waist and the other massaging my scalp, easing the building tension in my head.

“I’m so proud of you, you know that? It’s difficult being in pain let alone constantly and this badly but here you are still fighting. I know it’s draining and takes a mental toll on you but you’re doing so good. I wish I could take your pain for you. You amaze me with your strength” you praise me.

“Thank you for coming over. I’m sorry for ruining our plans not just today but every other time I end up having to cancel. I feel bad about it. I don’t want you to think that I don’t wanna spend time with you because that’s really all I want is to be with you” I whisper.

“Anytime sweet girl I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Don’t apologize, remember we don’t worry about things that are outside of our control. You can’t control when you get a migraine so don’t feel bad for canceling. Plus when you have a migraine it means that I get to come over and take care of you which I love. You could never ruin anything, simply being with you is enough for me. I love you sweet girl, now get some rest I’m here” you tell me, soothingly massaging my scalp.

Your gentle voice, the head massage, the eye mask, and the meds is the perfect concoction to make me doze off into a much needed sleep in the arms of my favorite person. Migraines aren’t so bad when I have you by my side.

taglist:

@d0wnt0wnstu4n1ol0 @iluvmatt @stxrniqlo @antisocialties @fake-coolbeans

[conkers-thecosy]

Hullo!

So, this might be long, but I wanted to write a proper wee writing update. I have my fingers in a few pies and as October is coming to an end, and thus "Bagginshield-tober" with it, I thought it might be nice to let folks know what my plans are as far as projects go!

I've got three chapters left to write for "Stealing Moments, Moments Away" - I've decided not to do the prompt for Sunday, so this weekend I'm going to park my butt in my desk chair and write those last few chapters. I'm out on Tuesday (my friend is doing a drag show, so I'll be at work all day, then going out for dinner and drinks right after) so I won't have time to update the final chapter on Tuesday. I'm thinking of updating Monday's chapter on Sunday, and Tuesday's on Monday, but we'll see!

Once that's done, I'm going to take a few days off! I wouldn't usually, but I've had such a busy month and I got a bit burned out there for a bit, so I think I need to start scheduling breaks for myself. Next weekend I'll get cracking on "Backs to the Wall" and hopefully get back to weekly chapter updates with that once again!

Now, I know folks were waiting for me to start "King" in November (because that was the original plan!) but if October has taught me anything, it's that I can't work on multiple projects, haha 😅 I had meant to do NaNoWriMo and work on it for that, but honestly? I got so stressed when I was writing "Poet" for Camp NaNo and it's actually the fic I'm least proud of in my whole collection. I've worked so hard on the series, I really want to do the finale justice!

I do feel bad because I know folks are waiting for this one, but I'm going to focus on "Backs to the Wall" first, then write the smutty one-shot set directly after "Poet" and then work on "King". I really hope no one is too disappointed, as it's likely that I won't make a start on it until the new year now - please forgive me! 🙏 

After that I have another canon-verse one-shot that I've been toying with since day dot, and then I might branch out into some AU ideas. But that's a ways off yet!

I know this is a bit of a long post, and honestly I don't know how much anyone will be interested in any of this, but I just wanted to document it somewhere for anyone who might be wondering what I'm up to! I wouldn't want to leave anyone hanging, especially after changing plans with regards to what I'm working on in November.

Thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting and showing any kind of interest in my little fics! I mean to keep scribbling out my silly bagginshield nonsense for a good while yet, so your enthusiasm keeps me going!

Ily guys! 💛

[icypantherwrites]

It is finished.

Words I wasn't sure I was ever going to be able to write, but at 11:51 pm last night they became reality.

Bottled Ocean is finished.

I am really, really proud of myself for being able to come back to this story. I started writing it in all the way back in May 2020 so it has been almost four years from start to finish and it's been a really long, bumpy road. So much has happened over those four years and the story went from a vibrant, engaged audience when it first published to, if I'm lucky, one or two engaged readers and maybe five reading it total. It's been really hard to put forth the energy into writing such a monster of a story (it is officially over 250,000 words long) knowing that there's no one there really to read it and even now I'll be lucky to have one or two engaged readers for it.

But it is done. My legacy after writing over 400 fanfictions in the last 7 years is not an incomplete story. It's something I can look back on and be proud of that I wrote that and as anyone knows, 250,000 words is not a small undertaking.

I had promised myself that if I went back to writing this I would finish the story before it began publishing again on Patreon (which resumes today) and then life hit. I had Covid the last two weeks and felt really terrible and dizzy and unable to focus. I thought writing fight scenes was hard, bah, writing fight scenes while you're distracted by the word 'sword' because it says 's-word' and going off on a tangent of swear words you think pirates would say while still trying to write a fight scene is hard. I kept going.

I reached yesterday morning and realized that I still had at least four chapters to write and I wasn't sure how I was going to do it and even if my deadline was self-imposed I was going to fail it.

I didn't.

Outside of taking breaks to walk the dog (it reached 42 here in Chicagoland and for this time of the year that's practically tropical) and guzzling down over half of a 2-liter of Dr. Pepper and trying to drink water in there too, I did it. I sat down, wrote my ass off, and a little over 16,000 words of the most pinnacle parts of the story as it all comes together and concludes I did it. I am exhausted and I honestly didn't even recall most of the final chapter so I went back and read it this morning and not to toot my horn but damn I'm a good writer, and I am just so relieved and happy it is done.

I am done too. My writing journey comes to an end with this story (I'll still for sure be posting on Patreon for the rest of 2024 though with my insane backlog and of course Bottled Ocean and some works on AO3 too) and I'm hanging up my keyboard. It has been a long seven years full of the good and the bad, the bright spots and the dark, but I can look back at this chapter of my life and see that I wrote over 3.2 million words worth of stories to share and I feel...

I feel content. And relieved and honestly my wrists are aching from pressing against my laptop all night, but I am happy. Thank you to all who came on this writing journey with me, who have been with me since As Color Fades Away posted in 2017 or stumbled across my works this year. It has been a life-changing seven years of writing.

I'll still be around here posting updates and hopefully, maybe, trying to get a few of y'all to bite at Bottled Ocean and join me in reading my final fanfiction, but this author is finally, finally finished and it is the start of a new adventure.

Thanks everyone ♥

[dem1verse]

﹏ ❛ laced with love, intensive grooving.⠀⠀⠀cardinal copia/papa iv

˖⁺ ⊹୨ ★ the one where you finally get to paint his face.

content disclaimers ╱╱ gn!reader. post!anointment. pure fluff. lovesick!copia. making out. wc: 476.

YOU HAVE (1) MESSAGE UNREAD !⠀⠀—⠀⠀“my first ever flufftober post and i decided to make it about one of my comfort characters. i'll try to release smth every weekend at least. i haven't written in like 5 months so hopefully this makes up for it 👉🏾👈🏾”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"COCO, PLEASE STAY STILL," You demanded as you straddled Copia's hips, cradling his face as you tried to pull off his iconic skeletal makeup. "I don't wanna poke your eye." Copia looked at you, smiling as he chuckled at your intense state of focus. You asked him for an opportunity to do his facepaint, wondering how it would look were you given a chance to do his facepaint. He declined at first but slowly gave in after endless begging on your part. "Are you done yet?" The anti-pope whined out, a somewhat thick Italian accent overshadowing his words. His lips pouted as you told him once again to stop fidgeting. "No, now stop moving around."

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀You tried your hardest to keep a straight face, but seeing your scary-looking partner looking at you with such attentivity threatened to break you. "You should ask your makeup assistant to start doing graphic liner." you suggested, outlining his eyes. "It'd make your eyes stand out." The cardinal blushed at the sudden compliment, his dichromatic eyes widening.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀The experience ended after nearly an hour, smirking at yourself as you mentally pat yourself on the back. "Done!" you declared with glee, gesturing for him to look in the mirror. "It might not look all that great, to be honest, but I tried." you sheepishly admitted, his amazement going unnoticed. "I love it." He whispered, his mouth ajar in awe.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"Y-you do?" you stammered. He nodded. No matter how many praises he had, it wouldn't do your skills any justice. The end product wasn't all that bad. It looked a lot better than he expected. The white face paint sat perfectly on his face, the black jester-like eyeliner bringing his eyes out. The makeup sat perfectly on his face. "I do. You did very well." He complimented. Now, it was your turn to get flustered.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"O-Of course, I am!" you coughed out, still processing his praise. "Does this mean I can start doing your makeup now?" you hopefully asked, eyes twinkling. The poor man couldn't help but smile at you, overjoyed that his significant other was passionate about their hobbies.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀"I-I guess so." he stuttered, startled by your squeals of joy. You jumped around like a child, rambling on and on about different things you wanted to try on his face. Slightly off put by your ranting, he grabbed your face and pressed a searing kiss to your lips, pulling away after a few seconds. "You talk too much, my love." He said, the huskiness of his voice making you feel hot. You soon returned the favour, pressing multiple kisses to his face, ignoring his complaints of annoyance at how you were dirtying your face.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Man, did the both of you have a good excuse for why Copia's face was smeared. The ghouls were never gonna let you hear the end of it otherwise.

DEMI'S POST-IT⠀❞⠀i wrote this like 2-3 days ago while listening to faerie soiree hence the name lmao. this is prob rlly rough on the edges (i haven't written JACK in like nearly half a year work w me here) but im kinda proud of it so happy october ig?

template by @tinytowns! taglist: @ue-projectz

[neptune-lover]

Pregnant? Pt6

Author note:HOWDY sorry this took forever I've been sick the last few weeks and late last week I ended up getting an allergic reaction to something we still don't know yet I see my allergist soon about it but I've also had writers block so I apologize this took so long but here it finally is

Tag list: @hauntedpostpersona @moxkindagirl @babybatlover

Tw: talks of pregnancy, mentions of death and miscarriage, mentions of vomit/throwing up and mentions of sex, use of their real names

It's been about a week since Rhea took the test and you guys went to the appointment and found out that both of you we're in fact pregnant about 2-2 and a half months to be exact. Both of you and all 3 of the boys were very excited but some other people didn't have the best opinions about this. Of course you guys had to tell hunter so he could plan a head and set up a promo to announce you departure from the company for about the next year. The boys decided that it was alternate 1 being home and the other two being away every week so one of them would be home with both girls. Hunter was very excited to hear the news considering he was the one who brought you to NXT from Japan all those years ago. But some of your fellow could workers were not the happiest although you had the ones who were your closest friends out side the WWE Universe like Baily, Becky, Asuka, Seth, liv and so many others but then again not all of you got along in real life like solo sikoa which was weird because the rest of the bloodline were very good friends with you and Damian. Speaking of bloodline Sami was another wrestler fond of you all because of the whole poly thing he never understood and though it was selfish for someone to date more than one person. But all your guy's friends threw a party for you and Rhea as a going away for now kinda thing which was a lot of fun Bad Bunny was there as him and Damian were still the best of friends Rey was there as he was happy he was getting 2 grand kids and he said that if Eddie was still with all of you he would be so happy for all of you and be proud if how far Dominik has come and some of your friends brought their little ones as everyone loved them like edge brought Ruby and lyric and Becky and Seth brought Roux but it was a lot if fun and you were so tired afterwards that when you got home you and Rhea got changed into some pj's and just passed out on the bed. It's been a few days since the party and currently you were sitting on the couch waiting for Finn to finish cooking lunch because you were extremely hungry and today Rhea decided she wanted to backstage with the other two because it was Finn's turn to stay home today so it would just be the two of you.

Hey guys that's all for part 6 I hope you enjoyed again so sorry it took so long I had a bunch if shit going on and I don't always also have a bunch of motivation so being sick and all that didn't help with that but hopefully I will be back to making a bunch of stuff soon and don't forget to check out my request post I'm currently working on one but please feel free to flood my inbox cuz that also give me motivation and also if you aren't sure if I do a character ask in the request and I'll DM you if I make stuff for that character or not

[milascenta]

December 22nd 10:41pm

I'm so sorry I haven't talked in a while, N. I wanted to wait until I was in some sort of good place or heading in a good one but its not really working out that way too much. A few things have happened over the months. Though I am hoping for next year should be a bit better.

I'm so happy you had a good time in London, the Stranger Things play looked awesome and the stuff you got looks so cool. I love the bag and the plushie Demogorgon (? I'm sorry I didn't watch too much of stranger things, first season was awesome and I love Winona Ryder but Its so hard for me to get into shows lol, same with the Witcher I love it but haven't watched past the first season haha) You looked really beautiful in that black dress, and I also love your hair with the black its a nice change and twist on your usual look. I hope you kept it or have something similar because it really suits you. You tattoos too OMG they looks good, I really love the Cpt Rex ones, subtle and cute on the fingers (omg again another series I need to get back into hahaha I'm really bad with shows) the portraits look insane, although I haven't seen much of the show they are probably my favourite characters too. I just looked up the Jaig eyes and I love them so much more now, its really up my ally and something I would get done, they suit you more now. I'm looking into starting a large tattoo idea hopefully during next year. I want to get a torso tattoo from cyberpunk, the one with the snake and the ram head on the back. I want to start with the snake curling around my body then work from there. The fact that you got them done in one day is very deserving of the aussie coveted "Hard Cunt" status, on the shins and everything is insane, I'm really proud and impressed you could sit for the whole thing.

I'm happy you met someone but then also I'm sorry he kinda turned out to be only really there for one thing. Maybe things have changed by now? either way it sucks to have met someone and you think one intention and they're another. I'm also so sorry you were having troubles with your friend, the trip started so nicely I hoped it would end that way too. I hope you're in a better place with each other, maybe talked it out or at least got closure.

I want to reassure you that you don't have to talk about anything you don't feel fully comfortable with, so I'm glad you didn't force yourself with that. Whenever you're comfortable to talk I'll be here but I'm here regardless. I'm just sorry you were ever reminded of those things and hope that person isn't continuing to do so. (cause they'll catch these hands nah jk.... unless) I'm also sorry about the news with your grandmother, its definitely not the news I was hoping for and I really hope things a turning around.

I want to properly reassure you that you are important and you are significant. These posts are really important to me and I know it helps you get things off your chest. I understand the thoughts you have been having, and can relate to them too, I just want you to know I care about you and you're important to me. I know that can't take any of the bad thoughts of feelings away, as much as I would like that, I just want you to hear them and hope they can act against those thoughts in some way. Those thoughts aren't you, those thoughts aren't shaping you or the path you're going down, you are doing better ever year and I'm so proud of you for that. Being strong sucks sometimes and you know that more than a lot of people but its won't be forever I promise.

Thank you for your birthday wishes. I did have fun, even though birthdays don't really mean much to me these days lol. honestly just reminds me of time I'm wasting. But I tried to have fun and surprisingly did. Before I say what I did on my birthday day, I took my friends to go see Nightmare Before Christmas with a live symphony at the start of November and that was unbelievable and fantastic and amazing. Such a surreal experience, watching the movie and the music being right there, by people. I watched the orchestra more than the movie, which I hoped they appreciated. One of my favourite movies with the music live was a great experience. I then saw the new Wicked movie on my birthday day with my friends too, and that was surprisingly great! They really did translate the stage show to screen, both Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande did amazing and really sold the characters and their relationship. And the visuals were amazing, apparently a lot of it was real and they took a lot of the in set vocal takes too. We then went to fortress, which is a kinda of "nerd" bar, looks like a medieval tavern, they sell mead and stuff as well as good food and you can rent board games, play video games and do dnd sessions there too, they also have a really cool futuristic cyberpunk cocktail bar upstairs from the tavern which we went to aswell. I bought a shirt from them, senpais.jp did a collab with them so I got a really cool shirt from them, but I took it home at the end of the night and it turned out they gave me the wrong one, so I had to trek it all the way back to the city the next day to exchange it, which they almost didn't do they had to get a manager involved but he said it was ok to change, I had proof of purchase and everything. I also bought a lot of stuff I needed for myself. A bunch of shirts, some new black jeans, and new cologne Jean Paul Gautier Le Male Le Parfum, long name but its my favourite cologne lol oh and a nice green linen shirt too.

But then its kinda gone a lil down hill, a couple week ago, we found out my grandmother had passed away, heart attack. Which I'm glad it was quick and painless but sucks she's not around anymore, I feel really guilty not talking to her more or going to visit her more. We went to her town for her funeral, which we had two. A smaller close family one at the crematorium and one we had at a church that had sooo many people attend. She was very community driven and had a relationship with probably everyone in the town to some degree so it was great to see that. You would have liked her, she was a badass headstrong woman, and stayed very active and lucid up to the end. Going back to her town was very surreal. All the smells and sights were the same, well the sights mostly, the town has grown a lot. A lot of people go through there now so its developed a lot more. And her house was the same, but none of it had the soul anymore, all of it felt empty. We didn't stay super long, a few days, I took lots of pictures, mostly of nostalgic things, patterns in her house and things that were always around. Then my brother got me sick with a chest cold, how that happens in 35+ degree weather I have no idea. But its starting to go now just a bit phlegmy lol. I'm on the waiting list for some psychologists my doctor recommends. I've tried a couple recently and they've not been good, I got lied to about cost, was told one thing and ended up being charged almost double with no warning which sucks and we just didn't click so I'm trying again with someone else. I don't mind if its a little bit expensive just tell me that at the start not after I've been charged and have no control over it like what is that, especially after I was told a different amount. I told my doctor that and he was like ok I'm not going to recommend them anymore lol.

I'm hoping next year will be better, for both of us because we really need it. I really hope at least your new year is better and you can keep progressing. I hope you have a good christmas, and hope you get some good holiday time off too. Know that I'm thinking of you.

I'll talk to you soon,

E

"Hey little monster, you know its all okay"