#so he feels uncomfortable any time he thinks he's getting parented (which admittedly isn't very often the emperor is Harsh)

[lloydfrontera]

lloyd saved the dad he got after transmigration from debt after kim suho lost his dad to debt, and rakiel saved the dad he got after transmigration from a stroke after lee han lost his dad to a stroke... parallels...

waiting to see what the twist on this novel is. what happened to og!rakiel that made someone with suspiciously appropriate abilities and trauma end up in his body. what twist of fate makes it so these people have the chance to save, if not the people they lost, the people they gained in their new lives.

but also i do think it's kinda funny how lloyd's conflict in with his parents was 'the count and countess are good people and i don't deserve to call them my parents even though i love them very much because they don't know i'm not their son' and right up until where i am in the novel rakiel's conflict with the emperor seems to be 'this bastard keeps wanting me to prove myself please i am so tired just help me out this time no don't be proud of me just let me help my patients dang it'

[system-contact]

[NINE] - What do they consider luxury? Is it a stereotypical definition (e.g., millionaire status), or is it simply the ability to have stability?

(* ^ ω ^)

[ THE CUPS - ACCEPTING ]

[ NINE ] for Fei, Id, and Coward

Look, Fei is a pretty simple guy. He's not really one for frills or all the bells and whistles: he doesn't want a huge house, he thinks he'd just get nice clothes dirty (he is very correct), he feels very out of place when waited on by butlers or maids and likes to take care of himself. He's just not the type for extravagance, and often outright rejects it, maybe with a little attitude because of how uncomfortable he is with it. Even being overly praised kind of puts him in an uneasy spot. For three years he was raised in a simple close-knit village doing hard work, and that’s honestly how he prefers to live. No, simply having stability and calm is plenty for him (though he may make an exception for really good 'decadent' food). Even more so, he was tossed violently into a life of adventure and world-saving, without much choice, and constantly learning that people he’d never even heard of wanted something of him, and would do whatever it took and whatever it cost to make him do it. So, really, his biggest luxury now is just being. Not being anyone’s puppet, having the freedom to choose what and who he is, not being trapped by a vicious cycle, just being able to exist as a human being with his loved ones close-by in content normalcy is the biggest luxury he can think of right now. But, there is one stereotypically (kind of?) luxurious thing he still thinks about. He really really liked having a nice shower. Water that's just warm right away on command? A shower that isn't a rusty old bathtub? No ominous clunking from who knows which on-the-verge-of-exploding pipe in the wall? Now that's a luxury he can be comfy with. And it actually really helps with chronic pain, which is a massive relief to him.

Id, in a similar but harsher breath, just doesn't really think of material luxury at all. He was always provided with exactly what he 'needed' to grow and develop, and not much more. It didn’t really help to begin with that he was having to live mostly on the run for most of his life, so traveling light became sort of unquestioned. Though, that didn’t stop him from noticing his deprivation eventually when he started seeing other children from afar, and growing frustrated and jealous over his apparent lack of worthiness. There were a few ‘objects’ of luxury: Grahf giving him new paints or brushes when they could be found, or taking him to dinner in an actual restaurant, or even the occasional but very monitored walk around a festival if they happened to coincidentally travel through one. But, whether he likes to admit it or not, much like Fei, it's not the 'things' themselves that are the luxury. It’s the stability that they signify. Even while under Grahf’s care, having the time or peace to paint something was a sort of respite, and led to him forming a sort of (admittedly not entirely healthy) parent-child bond that he didn’t have before. Even now, understanding, acknowledgement, and just any sense of normalcy all feel like luxuries, because he grew up thinking he wasn't worthy of them and being very upset about it. It's something he's still getting used to having access to, and it can lead to some still very mixed (and sometimes angry) emotions.

And then there’s fɘi, who might at first seemed to be more material-oriented than the other two. He of course thinks big houses and shiny treasures are luxurious, and would eagerly take to them with excitement. He loves new toys or fancy foods, especially ones he’s never had the chance to see before, as he was a kid who lived in a very small humble house in a very remote area with no friends his age. Rare excursions to festivals or holidays in the cities were and are his favorite thing, and he would play games until he couldn’t move, eat food until he might’ve gotten sick a few times, and wanted nothing more than armfuls of prizes and toys. But in truth, it’s much more what those things meant when he had them: his father's time. With Khan so busy and often sent away on very long missions, fɘi having him home for any long stretch was a massive luxury. Even during the massive change with his mother's behaviour, when Khan could come home for festival holidays or bring him something from the faraway places he worked in, it just meant he was home. And as long as the whole family was together, he understood that bad things wouldn't happen. Everything would be happy and perfect as long as dad was home. Sometimes he dreamed of being a prince in a fairy tale who lived in a big fancy castle with everything he could ever want, because Kings (as far as he knew) were rich and so they didn’t ever have to leave for work, and Queens were always nice and fair, and fairy tales ‘always have happy endings where the big bad monster dies’.