#so far the Thing That Made Me Uncomfortable hasn't shown up again so maybe it was just Early Show Weirdness?

[musical-chick-13]

I am reminded why this particular character archetype doesn't usually work for me.

[seonghwasriceball]

NCT DREAM REACTION

To you being jealous

Mark Lee

The dude's oblivious to the entire thing and probably only notices because Johnny spelt it out to him or something. He thinks the girl flirting with him is just being nice, and he's just trying to return the favour until you get back from the bathroom, although he feels really awkward the whole time. When you step out of the bathroom to see this girl with clearly flirtatious body language invading your boyfriend's personal space, you initially don't think much of it because you trust Mark. Still, as you approach from across the room, which takes you a while, she's getting closer, and he's getting more uncomfortable. You can see it clear as day, so you're not upset at Mark for not pushing her away for you, but you're upset he didn't push her away for him. You approach the two and immediately take Marks hand and wrap his arm around you, kissing his cheek and asking him 'who his friend is', all whilst sending a glare in her direction. If she doesn't take the hint straight away and keeps trying to chat him up, you put out your hand for her to shake and introduce yourself as Mark's s/o, quickly excusing you two from her presence straight after. Mark can tell that you're upset on the drive home, but he doesn't know what about, so he brings it up to Johnny, who tells him the girl was flirting, and you were probably jealous. When he brings it up to you the next time you're together, he apologises for making you feel that way and reassures you that he loves you and only you. Nothing will change that. He feels terrible until you tell him you're more upset that she was invading his personal space and making him needlessly uncomfortable, then he just feels rather sheepish. You tell him how you wished he could stand up for himself, but you understand that it's just not in his nature to do something like that. After a long talk about it, you two understand each other better on the topic, and your relationship comes out of it all the stronger for it. goals

Huang Renjun

Kind of insulted that you felt the need to be jealous, really. Like, don't you trust him? He'll reassure you that you're the only one he wants, but then he'll scold you for feeling like he doesn't 1000% place his entire heart in your hands. He's actually kind of mad for a while, so he just goes to his room to cool off so that he can talk to you civilly and rationally when he comes back. When he has calmed down and wants to talk, he wants to get to the route of why you felt threatened by the girl he had never met before giving him her number so that you can try and tackle those insecurities together, as a couple should. Deep psycho-analytical dive into your psyche to try and figure out the best way to reassure you and the best way to make sure this never happens again. He doesn't want your insecurities getting in the way of you two basking in your love for each other, so Renjun tries to nip any jealousy, yours or his, in the bud.

Lee Jeno

Soft boy, sad boy. Why would you be jealous? Has he not shown you how much he loves you? Has he done something to make you think he'd leave you so easily? Are you looking for a way out of the relationship but want to make it seem as natural as possible rather than just breaking up with him out of the blue? ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT LEAVING HIM??? Jeno somehow gets more insecure in this situation than you do. He thinks that if you're jealous, then he clearly hasn't done his job as your boyfriend right and immediately goes into panic mode. At first, you get confused about what's got him all stressed, then you get worried in case he's remembered an anniversary or something last minute that you haven't. When you ask him what's up, he lets out this tidal wave of apologies and promises, which you barely have time to comprehend before he basically crushes you to death in a massive bear hug. When you finally get it out of him, you sit him down and explain that it has nothing to do with him and that you weren't upset at him; you were madder at the other person flirting with him right in front of you. He still tries to apologise, saying that you wouldn't have felt that way if he had made you realise how much he loved you and would never think of leaving you, but you shut him up with a kiss. You take it slowly as you explain that you never thought like that, you were more jealous that they were all cuddled up to him, even if he was pushing them away, and that you wished you had been the one hanging off his arm because you loved his cuddles so much. Needless to say, he has a pretty easy fix for that, as he scoops you up and drops you on his bed, before jumping on top of you, telling you he can fix all that.

Lee Haechan

BULLIES YOU. Like, the reason you were jealous will walk away, and this guy turns to you, clinging on to his arm, and smirk. Then he'll do the tongue thing, you know when he pushes his tongue against his cheek when he's annoyed, but he's not actually annoyed this time; he's just trying to get even more of a reaction out of you. He says something about how nice the person is and says he wonders if they'd maybe want to hang out with him sometime, but you know that's a joke because he was pretty quick to shut down all advances at the time. The rest of the day is just him joking around, and if you do something that "upsets" him, like get up to go to the bathroom when you were cuddling, he just goes, 'I bet they wouldn't have left me alone like this.' But, eventually, he sees you've had enough of it and feels a little bad because he knows you were just a little insecure, and he kept bringing it up, so when you're trying to sleep that night, he'll whisper into your ear about how much he loves you, and how he hopes you know he'd never leave you for someone else like that.

Na Jaemin

His baby???? Sad????? No, big no. As soon as he sees even the slightest indication that you might be feeling the tiniest little bit jealous, he is removing you two from that situation and cuddling you and telling you in a baby voice how much he loves you. He won't go so far as to insult the person, but he makes sure you know he would never choose them over you and is even insulted at the thought. If he can't get you two out of there, he will aggressively hold your hand and make it a point to show you off as his s/o to the other person, almost making them so uncomfortable that they apologise for interrupting,,,,, whatever it is he's trying to do with you. Once the necessary conversation with them is over, he whirls around to you and sorta just blocks them out, standing between you two, so they can only see you back, and you can only see him. Then he loudly declares how much he loves you and tells you all the fun COUPLE stuff he has planned for you guys to do together, and then he sort of just hugs you while trying to walk away at the same time. It's a site, alright.

Zhong Chenle

LAUGHS just, the situation is absurd to him, so Chenle does what Chenle does best. He laughs because he doesn't know what else to do. The person flirting with him gets confused, as do you, so you share a look with eachother, and look back at him, and he's still laughing. It gets to the point that everyone is uncomfortable, and he manages to stop, but by then the person has decided that it's just easier if they leave instead of keep trying to persuade him into flirting back. They might try again in the future, but Chenle will see them, remember what happened, feel really awkward and head in the opposite direction. When you finally drag him away, he's constantly apologising through giggles, but you reassure him it's all fine. He still feels bad, so as an apology he buys you an apple watch your favourite snacks and gives you lots of cuddles.

Park Jisung

Babie feels bad. He just loves and cherishes you so so much, he would never want you to think he was interested in someone else. He's also hella awkward, you're most likely his first relationship, and also first person in years he's really known outside of SM, so he's not really up to date on how to do ~interactions~ so he goes to Jaemin for help, and that was sort of useful in that now you've got a massive boy stuck to your side begging for forgiveness. He doesn't know what to do so he just does what his hyungs suggest. He also just does everything for you, to prove that he loves you. Sure, it was fun having him get anything you wanted for the first half of the day, but by lunchtime you felt bad, so you pulled him to cuddle on his bed and told him you forgive him, and apologised for feeling jealous, too.

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 4, part 3: visiting jean’s mom

an: so, i decided i'd write the elimination in a separate chapter, one, just to mess with y'all and two, to give you time. i honestly think picking one of these three guys is really hard. obviously, i know who i want to win, but i look at the two other guys and i'm like 'oh, they would be good too!'. i like pulling at your heartstrings ;). i'll probably put together another q&a (depending on the numbers of questions i get) and once i do that, i'll wait for a day and then close the poll to start writing! anyways, let me stop sharing my thought process with yall and start your date with jean. link at the bottom!

tags: black, fem reader

tag list: @taybird

Bertholdt drove you back to the mansion and you texted Connie asking him to prepare something for you, Bertholdt. Jean and Connie to eat. And maybe a lil something for that brat Levi. Connie responded with an 'ok' and a smiley face.

The car ride home was silent. You felt awful for Bertholdt. You wondered how many silent post-hospital drives he's been through.

Once you got home, Bertholdt told you he wasn't very hungry and just wanted to lay down. You wanted to argue with him but Bertholdt needed space. You wish him good night before making your way to the kitchen.

Connie and Jean were chatting it up in the kitchen once you walked in. Connie was the one to announce your entrance. "Hey, y/n," he greets. Jean then turns around. "Hey, y/n. How is Bert holding up? I understand that visit was really hard."

"Thank you for asking, Jean. Bertie...well...he's just being human. His dad...it's really bad," you reply. You take a seat by Jean at the kitchen island. "The fact that he's been holding in for a while...it's crazy. I would have never thought he was in that situation. No wonder he was so stressed after that Porco got angry with him," Jean says. You raise an eyebrow at Jean. "Oh...after Porco got angry with him about you, Bert seemed sadder and more introverted than usual. He only really confided in Reiner, though," Jean explained.

"Ah, that makes sense. Poor Bertie."

Connie had made some garlic bread with ava ado toast and egg. You didn't expect that out of him but you all enjoyed it. You felt tired, so you told the guys you were ready to lay down. They wished you good night before diving into a conversation about...y'all i don't even know what men talk about 😐

The next morning, you woke up at the same time as you did for Connie's visit. Your final visit would be Jean's mom. She also lived far away from the mansion but Jean insisted that you could take your time. She would still be at her home. No nurses to rush you out or kids bugging their parents. You hoped this visit would be as peaceful as it sounded.

You were very hungry though. You didn't realize it last night about the whole Bertholdt thing and you only had those little stupid avocado things that Connie made. It was good but didn't feel you up. You decided you would take a bath and get ready for your visit later.

You crept downstairs, hoping not to wake anyone up. You didn't want Levi questioning you and you didn't want to stop and talk to the boys because you would probably have a day-long conversation and if that conversation was with Jean, you probably wouldn't see his mom.

You made a few turns and found yourself in the kitchen. And you weren't alone. Jean was leaning on the kitchen counter, sipping on some coffee that he had made. His eyebrows widened at your presence.

"Good morning," he greeted, "I didn't expect you to be up right now."

"Oh, I'm just hungry right now. Didn't eat much yesterday," you say. Jean places his coffee down on the table. "Would you like me to make you something?"

You were about to say yes but a greater idea came into mind. "Why don't we make something together? It would be fun and give you bonus points..." You wiggle your eyebrows when you say that last part. Jean let out a laugh. "Well, you're hungry and I can't let you starve. Us working together will make things faster...and those 'bonus points' would help a lot."

You walk towards Jean and his eyes remain on you. You find yourself wrapping his arms around his waist. It was just on-demand. Jean pulls you close and kisses your forehead. "What do you wanna make?"You think for a minute. "You know how to make (meal of your choice)?"

Whether Jean says yes or no is up to you. However, Jean is really good at following directions. If you need something, he'll get it. If you needed him to watch something, he watches it with intensity.

After a few minutes, the meal was ready and you both sat by the kitchen island and dug in. "I hope Connie doesn't wake up and butt into our breakfast," you joke. Jean let out a small laugh. "Connie's really nice. He hasn't shown me or anyone else any hostility during our time here."

"If you could say...who did you think was the worst person here?" you ask. Jean doesn't even have to wait to answer. "I'd have to Floch. Confidence is key but Floch just got disrespectful about it. Talking about how we should all go home and let him have you. And he was only here one night and everyone already had a bad vibe about him."

Your heart panged at that answer. "Thank you for telling me. I know everyone likes drama but Floch sounds...dangerous. I don't know what would have happened if he stayed." "Yeah, of course. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable," Jean said sheepishly. The discomfort must have been visible on your face. "No, don't apologize. I asked."

You continued to eat your breakfast and chat and hear about Jean's experience in the mansion so far.

After breakfast, you and Jean got ready for the day and finally decided to head out. Jean was starting his car when you decided to ask another question.

"I've never heard you talk about your dad. I've heard bits about your mom and you've mentioned her to the other guys but I never hear about your father. He isn't dead right? Is he sick? Like Bertholdt's?"

Jean is silent for a minute. "Oh...I don't really like talking about my dad, but you would have to know at some point."

"Oh, Jean...you don't have to. Don't worry about it."

He shakes his head. "It's fine. We were going to have this conversation pretty soon, so it doesn't matter."

Jean starts moving the car and when he's out on the road, he begins to talk.

"My dad has never been in my life. At this point, I don't know if he's dead or not. Sometimes I feel like he isn't my father. We did talk like once or twice when I was a kid and I was actually desperate to see him. But once I reached high school and started preparing for my adult life, I realized he wasn't worth it anymore. If my dad really wanted to be there for me, he would have reached out more often and let me know that things were hard on his end. I know everything I'm saying is being recorded and broadcasted, so if he ever sees me on TV, he can always hit me up. I just won't be naïve and stupid like I was the last time."

You immediately jump in after that last line. "Hey. You weren't naïve or stupid. He was stupid. You were a kid waiting on his dad. You had every right to wait for him, so don't insult yourself over him."

Deep down inside, you weren't sure if you wanted to meet Jean's dad...if he was alive. Jean didn't seem comfortable talking about him at all, so you shouldn't expect any visits or calls from that man. If you were to have kids and he popped up, that'd be hard to deal with. It would probably break Jean's heart to learn that his father would want to see his grandkids before even meeting the guy who helped make them.

Jean doesn't respond to what you said. Again, this was hard for him and he didn't even want to bring his father up in the first place, so you weren't upset.

You end up falling asleep in the car. Hours later, you wake up and Jean is parked in front of a bakery. He's on the phone. "Yeah, ma, we're here. Right in front of it, she's sleeping but we'll head inside....I miss you too...alright then, bye."

Jean hangs up and places the phone down. He jumps slightly when he realizes you're awake. "H-hey. I thought you were sleeping."

"Well, I was. Your mom is ready to see us?" You ask. "Yeah. She owns this bakery and decided to close completely today to meet you. I asked her if we could meet at home but she insisted that her bakery would be best. She's really proud of it," Jean explains. "Are we going to bake something?"

Jean laughs and shakes his head no. "Oh, no. My mom won't let you do any work in there, since you're a special guest. She put some things together if you want to eat something."

You imagined Jean's mother as someone who prioritized her future-in-law over her own son sometimes. It sounds overbearing but you thought this was a good thing. You wouldn't want an evil mother or father-in-law. If Jean were to cheat on you or hurt you, you knew she'd probably be on your side or hear both sides instead of immediately siding with her son.

You also wanted to assume that she was tough on Jean. Considering that she raised him herself, she had to do other things like work. To give herself some peace, she probably had a no-nonsense household- maybe why Jean was more like a puppy and wasn't as scandalous as the eliminated.

Jean got out of the car and helped you out. He didn't take your hand when directing you to the bakery but opened the door for you. Inside was a short, older woman, standing there with her hands clasped. The minute you stepped in, her excitement exploded. "Hi! Welcome! It's finally nice to meet you," she says. The older woman squeezes and you can't help but let out a chuckle...or a wheeze. "H-hey, mom. Maybe you should let her go," Jean steps in nervously. Jean's mom slowly lets go. "I'm sorry! I just got excited. Are you hungry?"

You shake your head. "No, Mrs. Kirstein. Jean actually helped me put together breakfast."

"Good, good. I'm glad he's being useful! And call me June. Come, sit, sit."

Jean's mom takes your hand and leads you to a small table and pulls open a chair for you. Jean quietly pulls a chair up by you. You start to worry about him because all the attention is on you, rather than the both of you.

"Can I get you something to drink?" June asks. "Some water would be nice," you answer. Your eye catches Jean's hand. You place your own on his and you feel him jump slightly. "Jean, would you like something too?"

"I-I'll take water too," Jean croaks. "Well, Jean, I'm sure you can serve yourself. I'm getting old, you know. Make sure you get a glass for y/n too."

Jean looks ready to argue back but he keeps his lips zipped. He carefully removes your hand from

his, gets up, and heads over to the back of the bakery.

You watch Jean do all of this and then finally turn away so that you can give June all your attention. "Please tell me he's been good to you," she starts. You weren't expecting this question but considers why she's asking. "Yes, Jean is...amazing. He's always coming to my defense. Which I shouldn't be surprised by, he is a lawyer."

June sighs in relief. "I hope he stays that way. He told you...about our situation right?" You nod. "It's unfortunate that his father did that to the both of you. If Jean does get married to me, I hope he doesn't pop out of anywhere. Jean's a good guy but I'm not too sure how he'll react to something like that." June let's our a small hum.

"Have you been watching the show?" you ask. "A little. I work, so it's hard to catch up on what's going on. Sometimes I'll read articles and Jean will text me to let me know if he didn't get eliminated. I was a little concerned about him doing the show because nothing is guaranteed."

"Hm...is he cocky about this whole thing? Does he really think he can get me?"

June thinks for a moment. "I can't say cocky but there's nothing wrong with a little confidence. Jean is handsome, he has a good job, he's smart- and he knows that. He believed those would be good reasons for you to like him. But...he does get bashful sometimes. He doesn't want all the attention on him and for people to view him in the wrong way. The fact that he had a mirror in his pocket on the first night was interesting to me. He's never done anything like that before."

You open your mouth but Jean enters once more. He places three water bottles on the table. "Sorry for taking too long. Ma, I'll replace the waters. Don't worry about it," he says. June shakes her head. "Don't worry about it, Jean. We have plenty of water."

"So, have you two discussed wedding plans? Anything for the future?" June suddenly asks. You look at Jean, who looks like his stomach was doing the chacha slide or sum. "M-mom-!"

"Well, we haven't reached that point because we don't know if he's staying or not but I'd like a really elegant wedding. I know we'll have a live-streamed wedding but I'd like to have a private wedding too. That would be nice right?" you cut in. Jean nods in agreement.

"What about kids? I read somewhere that you wanted a family," you tease. Jean's face reddened. "W-well...um...yeah...two would be nice. A girl and b-boy maybe?"

"See? We have a plan," you say with a wide smile. You could imagine Jean as a cautious dad but he still knew how to have fun with his kids. After long days at work, he'd cuddle with them and put them to sleep for you. When the kids are asleep, he'll check on you and make sure you had something to eat. He'd probably make sure to schedule regular date nights and family vacations. He'll have photos of you and the kids and maybe a few bandages in a wallet. Obviously, you would both be in the public eye once in a while but he would make things feel normal.

"I think you two would have beautiful kids. I do hope Jean gets picked. But your two other guys are good too. Bertholdt is absolutely adorable and Connie seems like he knows what he's doing. I don't know how you're ever going to choose. I can't imagine being your situation," June says.

"Wow, thanks for having my back mom," Jean says jokingly. "But if not me, pick Connie. He's a good person."

"Oh, Jean, don't do that to yourself. You're lovely." You cup his cheek and his reddened face returns.

Jean's mom starts talking about Jean when he was a kid- how he was such a big softie and a great helper,  how he was popular in high school but still to himself, and all the girlfriends and boyfriends that she didn't like.

It was getting late. Jean's mom offered you her home but Jean stopped her before she could ask. You didn't question why he didn't want to stay at her home but still wondered why. You said your goodbyes, watched her lock the bakery, and drive off. Jean helps you into his car and gets into the drivers' seat.

"You know why she wanted to you go home with her?" he asks.

You shake your head no. "There's only one bed. A twin size bed," Jean says as he starts the car. You let out a chuckle. "Connie's parents tried that with us except Connie had a bigger bed."

Jean looks over at you. "Oh...I should have probably taken her offer."

"Connie and I didn't do anything that night...maybe you could give me a sample of what you can do. It'll help me decide."

Jean didn't hesitate to lean over and cup your cheek. He went in first. Jean was gentle and careful with your lips. You soon gave in and wrapped a hand on his wrist. When things started to get hot, you pulled away. "Didn't expect you to be that gentle...You really want me, huh?"

"Yeah," Jean says scratching his neck. "You're pretty rough... you have experience?"

Whether you say yes or no is up to you.

Jean smiles at your answer and starts driving. You try to fall asleep but it's so hard. All you can see is Bertholdt, Connie, and Jean at the next elimination. You wished Eren or Onyankopon did stupid stuff later on and were a part of the final three so that this could be easier.

Hours later, Jean reaches the mansion. He thinks you're still asleep. He doesn't want to wake you up. So what does he do? Jean opens the passenger door and scoops you up in his arms. Your heart jumps. You hope it's dark enough outside so that he can't see the small smile you're trying not to crack.

It doesn't Jean long to get to the door and ring the doorbell. He must be really strong. The door opens and he's greeted by Connie.

"You need help with that man?"

"Um...no...I think I'll get her up there. But you could get her purse from my car though. She'll probably wonder where that is."

Connie probably gave him a non-verbal response since there was just silence after that. Jean got you up the stairs and struggled with your bedroom door but he got in within ten minutes. Jean turns on your lights, places you on the bed, and removes your shoes. He steps away but you hear ripping sounds proceeding by scribbling. You can hear Jean turning off your lights and closing the door behind him as he leaves. Your eyes flick open and you wait a few moments. You turn on the light on your bed stand to see the note Jean wrote you.

'Wasn't sure what to do with your clothes. It's not my place to decide that- at least not yet. But I hope you slept comfortably.'

You smile softly at the note. It was definitely something he would say.

i use YOUR opinions to not only put together dates but to put together personalities. if y’all say you hate bertholdt, i’ll work my magic to mess with y’all :) anyways here’s the link! ask good questions. this is the last time you’ll see bertholdt, jean, OR connie. vote and ask wisely

[katsukiboom]

How about some hcs for kaminari, shinsou, bakugou, and todoroki wih a fem!s/o with low self esteem and is a bit chubby? Like, they're about to do the dirty, but she stops them because she hasn't ever shown her body before because she doesn't like her stomach (biggest insecurity). Sorry if this is so specific.

hey my dude, here you go! i’m so used to writing chubby reader things and honestly it’s quite cathartic being a chubby girl myself lol - i hope you enjoy this! <3

Ko-Fi || Commissions

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Kaminari Denki

This boy right here is completely static about finally having some time alone with the love of his life aka you

You were in his bedroom and you had even been the one to initiate the action that night, feeling confident enough to actually go further than ever before though you found it hard to keep silent as he worked wonders on your skin with his mouth and tongue

It was only as he begun to lift your shirt and caressing your bare thighs that the little voices inside your head started eating away at you again

Why are you letting him do that? He’s going to see you. He’ll see everything and leave.

You breathed in before pushing away gently, quickly rolling around and covering yourself again – “is everything alright, babygirl?” he asked, placing a hand on your back and rubbing circles as a way to soothe you

As the voices grew louder, you bit your lip to avoid letting the tears fall as you quickly told him it would be okay if he wanted to wait, that he didn’t have to go through it because you wanted to

Unfortunately for you, Denki can read you as clearly as he reads new Reddit memes

Letting you sit up and face him again, he reaches out and fixes your clothes and hair before placing a soft kiss on your forehead, making you blush at the contact as you dried the few tears that had escaped

“We can take as much time as you want if it will help you feel more comfortable with this,” he whispered as his hands roamed up and down your arms. “I just want you to know you’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever known and that I still don’t know how you ended up with a dunce like me. I love you so much it doesn’t feel enough to say it like that.”

Leaning against his touch, you allowed his words to seep into your mind though you knew the voices would still be there – you hoped to drown them as you once again got close to your boyfriend, lying down on his chest with his arms wrapped around you

 Shinsou Hitoshi

Sex isn’t particularly a necessary part of your relationship to him though he never completely disregarded the idea – he wanted to make you feel comfortable enough first

One particular night after four months of dating, the dreaded talk came up and he was surprised when you agreed to try and see what would happen

Hitoshi would be lying if he said he ever put any thought on your shape – he liked you for you, and there was no denying  he saw you as the most precious work of art

He was amazed at how soft you felt under his touch though he tried to be as careful as he could

Unfazed by whatever marks your skin had or anything else, he relished every part of you and tried his best to make you feel good

That was until you stopped him, putting a hand on his chest yet not pushing away – “Are you okay? Did I hurt you, kitten?”

He was a blushing mess out of plain embarrassment, making you giggle before you explain that you just didn’t want to expose yourself yet as it made you feel uncomfortable with how you looked

Hitoshi felt mortified because he felt like you might’ve tried to do it because he had brought it up earlier, so he quickly pulled back and apologized, but you cupped his face with both hands

“It’s not your fault babe,” you said with a soft tone, making him look up at you with a sorrowful gaze. “I trust you enough to come this far, even if it’s not enough for you”

He smiled weakly and wrapped his arms around you, whispering in your ear time and time again that you were perfect and deserved the world, and that he’d be there to let you know that until you believed it yourself

 Bakugou Katsuki

Now, Katsuki isn’t exactly tactful so he’s pretty straightforward to ask you if you’d like to fool around one evening his parents weren’t home yet and you’d come by to spend time together

You both were on the living room just casually sitting on his couch opposite to each other and you felt your whole body turn red at his words

Truth be told you were kind of afraid you’d miss the chance if you said no and you didn’t want to risk him getting the wrong idea either, so you thought it would be good to try and see where it would lead

Even knowing your own insecurities, you risked it by crawling over to his side before he grabbed your arm and gently led you forward until you were sitting on his lap

His arms snaked around your waist as his lips found yours, starting out with short soft kisses before deepening it

You were lost in him and his taste, so lost you almost didn’t notice the way his hands wandered around your back and sides over your shirt and your mind kicked in, making sure you remembered where he’d touch eventually

You pulled away from him just as he was kissing his way down to his neck and the puzzled expression on his face made you feel even worse -          “What’s going on?” he asked, though his voice wasn’t as rough as you were used to

When you explained, you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as you unconsciously hugged your tummy as an attempt to hide it from him

Cupping your face with one hand and putting another on your lower back, he made you look up at him again; “Maybe I’m awful with words,” he started, “but I’m sure you’re fucking beautiful and no matter what you’ll always be the most beautiful girl I know; we don’t have to do this, I’m in no hurry. I’d wait forever to see that damn gorgeous body of yours”

You playfully punched his arm and buried your face on his neck as he hugged you tight, happy that he still understood what you felt and was willing to wait

 Todoroki Shouto

There’s only one word to describe Shouto – attentive

You were in your dorm room at midnight; you sneaked him in after waking up from a nightmare and were now being spooned by your boyfriend as he hummed an unknown song to you

The sole idea of being so intimate with someone would’ve scared you but with Shouto, it felt different, as if he didn’t even notice the imperfections you worked so hard to hide from everybody else

Then, his hand tentatively wandered a bit further down until it reached your hip, and you turned around just a little bit to be able to look at him – his cheeks were red but his eyes were clear, and your heart started racing as he leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on your lips

You were on top with your legs to each side of his hips as you kissed him vigorously, and when you moved to his neck and started licking and sucking he let out a soft whimper which surprised but didn’t stop you

You thought that would be the night when it would finally happen for you, but when his hands tried to move up your shirt you recoiled and sat up on his thighs much to his shock

It had been an instinctive reaction though it left him very, very confused

Your eyes watered at everything and you got off his lap, curling up on the sheets and covering your face with both hands; you felt nervous and scared all at once, yet when his warm hand snaked around your waist you looked back at him and tried to stop him, but his profound stare made you freeze

“I don’t know what shit might’ve happened to you before (Y/N),” he said in a calm tone, “but I do know that I love you, and that whatever you see in yourself is not an impediment for me to feel the way I do. You’re still gorgeous in my eyes, and you know I don’t fucking lie”

With his arm still wrapped around you, you turned around again but scooted closer to him, his hand squeezing your tummy over your shirt ever so slightly as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear until you fell asleep

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 2

Chapter: 2/12 Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Any formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix. Chapter Content Warnings: Forgetting to eat, fainting Excerpt: "You can’t stand seeing Hot Daddicus Finch sad. You want to fix it for him. It’s funny, actually.” To illustrate his point, Remus gave a shrill, hyena cackle. "After all those nights complaining about his, what did you call it, 'saccharine simpering,' it turns out you --" he poked Janus in the chest-- "have a sweet tooth." “I--” All of Janus' instincts were screaming at him: deny, deny, deny! But shock stilled his tongue and left him staring at Remus as a horrifying realization dawned on him. Remus seemed to reach the same conclusion at the same time. "Holy shit, was I right? I was just teasing!"

Speak easy on the grapevine Keep shufflin' in a shoe shine Old tin lizzy, do it 'til you're dizzy Give it all you got until you're put out of your misery

A gentle tapping on his door interrupted Janus' fitful attempt at sleep. It couldn't be morning already, could it?

He chalked it up to sleep deprivation when the sight of Patton's face in the doorway actually made him smile. After all, irritation flooded in soon after. Janus had been trying (and failing) to sleep .

"'Morning!" Patton said, his own smile a touch strained.

Janus hid a yawn behind his hand and blinked slowly at Patton until his higher reasoning kicked in. "Good morning, Patton. I assume you need something from me? Or have you developed a magnetic attraction to my door?"

"What?" Patton stopped leaning on the doorframe and stood up straight. "No, I-- I was just about to make breakfast and I thought I'd come see if you wanted to join me."

Janus could practically feel the steam coming out of ears as he tried to come up with a way to decline that wouldn't hurt Patton's feelings. "I don't usually eat first thing in the morning," he said, only just managing not to stammer.

"Coffee, then? Black coffee."

"Like my soul," Janus said automatically.

Unfortunately, Patton seemed to take this as an agreement to join him. "Great!"

His smile wavered a little and his eyes kept flickering to the top of Janus' head-- "Just a moment." Janus ducked back into his room, put his hat back on, and followed Patton down the hall, surveying himself with distaste. His outfit was wrinkled after a night of tossing and turning, and that simply wouldn't do. Janus focused and watched in satisfaction as the creases receded from his clothing.

Then he did some mental math.

Even now, there was no chance that Janus was Patton's first choice of companion, and Patton would have at least had the good sense to warn him if any hostile parties awaited them in the kitchen. At the moment, Logan, Virgil, and Roman all counted as 'hostile parties.' This being the “light” side, Remus didn’t factor in. Ergo, Janus and Patton must have been the only ones awake or willing to come out.

The eerie silence lent credence to that conclusion. The Light side was usually full of such spirited bickering that Janus and Remus could hear it on the other side of the curtain if they listened.

It was a bit odd that Virgil and Logan weren't showing their faces. Virgil in particular couldn't have known Janus was there unless Patton had told him, but Patton had given no indication last night that he was planning on speaking to anyone.

It was quite the mystery, and Janus was more than happy to let it lie until he was better-rested. Last night's headache had returned with a vengeance and exhaustion clawed at the corners of his mind. His capelet may as well have been wet denim, the way it weighed down his shoulders.

"Black coffee," Patton handed Janus last night's ouroboros mug, "espresso-ly for you!"

Janus shook himself. He hadn't even realized they'd arrived in the kitchen. "Thank you," he said, for once at a loss for something sarcastic to say. He thought about much smoother his day would go if he didn't have this budding migraine to contend with and quickly swallowed down the aspirin that appeared in his palm.

"You're sure you don't want breakfast?" Patton asked. "I could make something light. After all, you should know better than anyone not to skip breakfast, Professor Self Care."

"I'm not skipping anything," Janus said, trying to keep a lid on his irritation. He leaned back against the counter and forced himself to take another long swallow of bitter black coffee. "Just delaying it."

"Okaaay," Patton said, sing-song, "but you're gonna feel icky later."

Janus almost responded that he felt pretty 'icky’ now and the nagging wasn't helping, but managed to keep his mouth shut. It didn't help that Patton was technically correct.

Now there was an uncomfortable thought.

Janus leaned against the counter and let his mind wander, idly watching Patton crack eggs into a skillet.

Janus had work to do. Now that Thomas was prepared to listen, Janus' subtler methods of suggestion would serve him no longer. He had thought patterns to dismantle and others to build, not to mention that he wanted to see Remus and find some time to take a nap if possible. And of course, he would have to find time to eat breakfast. Just not now. Not with Patton.

However… Patton's aversion to being alone meant that Janus would have to wait until another side emerged so he could pass off the baton.

Speaking of…

"Patton?"

"Yeah?"

"I understand Roman's hesitancy to show his face--"

"Hey."

"--but surely Virgil or Logan aren't scared of me. I'm a bit surprised Virgil hasn't shown up to try to run me off."

Patton bit his lip, his brow creasing. Janus hadn't been trying to upset him, but Patton looked like he'd just been forced to give his favorite puppy up for adoption. "Probably not." A beat. "Every time I try to talk to Virgil, he just says he's 'going through it' and won't open the door."

Janus hurriedly raised his mug to his lips so Patton wouldn't see his smile. That certainly sounded like Virgil. "Surely Logan has been more forthcoming."

"I knocked on his door a few times, too, but he won't answer at all. I think he's upset with me."

Now that was an interesting development. And problematic, because that meant Janus was going to have to babysit Patton until something gave. "I thought Logan didn't get upset."

"You heard him yesterday. He said we didn't care about him!"

Janus studied the seams of his gloves, feigning disinterest. "Yes, I did think he was being a little melodramatic. Of course I didn't hurt him."

"He wasn't being dramatic!" Patton insisted. "If Logan feels like we don't care about him… It must have been going on for a while, and none of us noticed. We're supposed to be his friends!"

"I'm sure he'll get over it soon," Janus goaded.

"I don't know, Janus." Patton fixed him with a sorrowful look before turning back to the stove. "I've never known him to get this upset about anything. It feels like everything got really bad all at once and I don't know how to fix it. I don't know what to do."

Janus downed the rest of his coffee and immediately went for a refill. Of course Patton couldn't fix it; the Lights needed more than nagging and platitudes, more than just the Band-Aid solution of superficial apologies with no changed behavior. No, they needed someone to help them introspect, someone smart enough to see through their self-absorbed nonsense.

"Penny for your thoughts," Patton said.

Janus didn't jump like he'd been electrocuted. "My thoughts are worth far more than that," he said, recovering smoothly.

"Can I get a friends and family discount?" Patton asked. He switched off the stove and carefully levered the eggs he'd fried onto a bagel.

"I was thinking about all the work I have to do today," Janus said. It was never too early to start dropping hints.

"Don't forget about breakfast,” Patton said. Nagged. “I could bring you something later, if you want."

Something in Janus' head clicked. Roman and Logan both seemed like the type to get caught up in their work and forget to eat. Patton had probably grown used to babying them. "Don't worry, Patton. Unlike certain other Sides I can actually take care of myself."

"Oh?"

"Yes, it would make perfect sense for the embodiment of self-care to forget something as basic as eating ."

Patton circled around the counter and hopped onto one of the barstools. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to be pushy."

He looked at Janus with an expression of earnest regret, his eyes sparkling in the overhead lights. Somewhere deep inside him, Janus' heart pounded. He set his coffee mug aside. Patton must have brewed it strong; it usually took at least three cups to get his heart racing like this and he hadn't even finished his second yet.

"Janus?" Patton looked at him over the tops of his glasses.

"Hm?"

"Did you hear me?"

"...Yes."

Patton smiled. "I asked if you wanted to work in the living room. You know, since, um. It's just gonna be the two of us."

"No," said Janus automatically.

"No?"

"Yes."

"Now I'm confused."

So am I, Janus nearly said. He schooled his expression behind the distraction of another sip of coffee. "I have business with Remus I need to attend to." Why was Patton's bereft expression so unbearably painful? "Maybe later we could," don't, "play cards again."

Patton's sun-bright smile was so dazzling that Janus nearly had to look away. "I'd love that!"

Janus tipped his hat and sank out before he could sign himself up for any more bonding activities.

--

The Dark Side was pitch black. Janus stood very, very still. "Remus?" he called tentatively, not wanting to interrupt if Remus was focused on a project.

A spotlight clicked on, illuminating Remus standing in the center of a stage. "Oh!" he said, glancing in Janus' general direction. "Hi!"

Janus looked down with annoyance to find that his sensible black oxfords had been replaced with pointe shoes. He changed them back with a concentrated effort. "What's this?"

"I was working on a nightmare for Thomas." In a blink, Remus restored the living room. He flopped down on the couch and kicked his feet up on the coffee table, revealing blood stains on the tips of his own pointe shoes. “Little early for day drinking, don’t you think?”

Janus realized he was still holding the coffee mug Patton had given him. He switched the contents out with water and took a long drink. The aspirin had barely touched his headache and the nagging, low-level pain invited in nausea and lightheadedness. Better to take care of that before it escalated into something worse.

He sat beside Remus on the couch and ran a hand through his hair, knocking his hat askew in the process. “You have no idea what it’s like over there.” He straightened his hat and squinted at Remus' shoes. “Wait. A nightmare about ballet?”

“You remember Black Swan?”

“Oh. Well. As much as I’d love to waste your time when you clearly have something better to do, I can always come back later.”

“No, no.” Remus changed his pointe shoes back into boots. “You look like shit. What did they do to you?”

“I do not!” Janus set his water down and summoned a hand mirror. He did look, perhaps, a little tired, but that was easily fixed with a small illusion. He sent the hand mirror back to his room and didn’t glare at Remus. “I do not.”

Remus’ smile shattered into a laugh. “Go on, what did they do to you? Wrap you up in a blanket and make you cookies? Wash your feet with scented oils?”

“Yes, right after the parade they held in my honor.”

"And then they all took turns sucking your--"

"Please put that image in my head."

Remus just gave an apologetic shrug and settled back into the couch cushions. "So what's really going on, hm? It hasn't even been a day and you're already running back to me to bitch about it. They’re not still fighting, are they?”

“Ugh, Remus.” Janus tilted his head back, pressing the back of his hand to his brow in an exaggerated swoon. Still, he was careful to keep his voice low in case anyone was listening. “They're all locked in their rooms pouting. Except for Patton, who keeps following me around like a lost little puppy. "It’s so…" A litany of words sprang to Janus' mind; to his horror 'endearing' was among them. "Ugh," he said, waving a hand vaguely.

“You like it.” Remus’ grin was positively demonic.

“Oh, yes, I do so enjoy having a nagging little tagalong,” Janus said, but it was too late. Remus had latched onto the idea like barnacles to a boat's hull.

"You like him !"

"Oh, yes, Remus, I've been planning out our wedding all day. I just love the sad little puppy dog look he gives me whenever I try to leave the room. It was love at first self-righteous lecture."

Remus' grin widened until it threatened to split his face (a very real possibility when he was involved). "The snakey doth protest too much, methinks."

" No, I--"

“What’s your plan?" Remus interrupted. "Going to seduce him? You going to write a love poem ?”

“Oh, definitely ," Janus sneered. "What rhymes with ‘exasperating’?”

“Masturbating? Kind of a slant rhyme, but I think you could sell it.”

“Charming.”

“Hey.” Remus shrugged. “You came to me for romantic advice.”

“Yes, that was why I came to see you. Not to complain about how The Great American Nag won’t stop following me around and sighing wistfully about how his friends are sad, boohoo.”

Remus’ eyes sparkled. “You do have a plan to deal with him.”

“One that doesn’t involve seduction via dirty love poetry, I’m afraid," Janus said, making an exaggerated pouty face with accompanying hand gestures.

“Boring," Remus replied.

“But you’ll listen anyway because you love me ever so?”

“Like flies love dookie.”

Janus held up a hand to stop Remus from actually summoning a cloud of flies. “If I can at least get Logan out of his room, then Patton will stop following me around and I can get back to--”

“Lusting over Daddy in the shadows?”

Janus took a long, measured breath. “I’m not lusting--”

“Face it, Snakehole."

"Ew."

"You can’t stand seeing Hot Daddicus Finch sad. You want to fix it for him. It’s funny, actually.” To illustrate his point, Remus gave a shrill, hyena cackle. "After all those nights complaining about his, what did you call it, 'saccharine simpering,' it turns out you --" he poked Janus in the chest-- "have a sweet tooth."

“I--” All of Janus' instincts were screaming at him: deny, deny, deny! But shock stilled his tongue and left him staring at Remus as a horrifying realization dawned on him.

Remus seemed to reach the same conclusion at the same time. "Holy shit, was I right? I was just teasing!"

If Remus were any other side, Janus would have thrown an insult at him and made a tactical retreat. Instead, he stood, fussing with his cape so he wouldn’t have to look Remus in the eye. “I have to go speak with Logan.”

“That means I’m right, right?” Remus cackled again, longer this time. “Careful, Jay, you’re getting predictable.”

“No, this was all according to plan,” Janus said, already walking away. “You’re just a pawn in my vast chess game.”

“I prefer checkers,” Remus called after him. “Good luck! Don't forget to wear a condom!"

--

Janus chose to appear right outside Logan’s door, the better to avoid an accidental run-in with Patton. Despite Remus’ taunting, Janus really didn’t want Patton to know what he was up to, and not because he thought it might hurt Patton's feelings, and certainly not because he feared the effect that Patton’s starry-eyed gratitude might have on him. He just preferred to handle his dealings in the dark, that was all.

Strategy remained something of an afterthought. Remus' teasing had left Janus too flustered to focus, and now he was outside Logan's door.

Well.

First, he had to get in. Then he could draw the details out of Logan and improvise from there.

Janus knocked on the door with the back of his hand. “Logan? It’s Janus. I had a question for you, if you’re not too busy.”

It was gentle flattery, but flattery all the same: Janus humbling himself before Logan’s intellect. It was also an appeal to Logan’s natural curiosity; surely he would want to know what it was Janus needed help with.

Sure enough, Logan opened the door a crack. His eyes were blank behind his glasses, his mouth a straight line. “Did I hear you correctly? You want my help?”

“No.” Janus couldn't help but roll his eyes. “I was hoping to have an intellectual discussion with Roman. Isn’t his door blue?” His head throbbed and he realized with some irritation that he had forgotten to eat something before getting on with his business. Patton had been right after all.

Logan didn’t budge. “What’s your question?”

“Logan, I’m surprised at you. I'd think you would know better than to leave a guest standing in the hall.” “I'm sorry, but I don’t desire company at this time.”

“Well.” Janus straightened up. “Maybe I will ask Roman instead. For all the good it'll do me."

It was an obvious bluff: Janus weighing Logan’s jealousy against his anger.

The scales tipped.

Logan opened the door properly and stepped aside. “Come in.”

Janus fought to keep the smile out of his voice. “Thank you.”

Logan shut the door behind him and crossed to the opposite side of the room. He neither sat nor offered Janus a seat, only stared at him with cold expectation. “Your question, Deceit.”

“Janus.”

“Excuse me?”

“Call me Janus.”

“Very well.” Logan stared him down. “Your question, Janus.”

“What’s that? ” Janus had never been the best at eye contact whereas Logan insisted on it. Janus had flicked his eyes away from Logan’s icy gaze and caught sight of a line of sickly blue bruises on the side of Logan’s neck. An instinctive wave of guilt made his stomach clench.

“They are bruises,” Logan said matter-of-factly, though his facial expression displayed an intense desire to talk about something else. “Bruises form when capillaries, small blood vessels near the skin’s surface, are broken, usually due to an impact with something hard.” He hesitated for a fraction of a second. “Something like a wooden shepherd’s crook, for example.”

Janus chose to avoid meeting Logan’s gaze; his capelet was sliding off his shoulder and he needed to adjust it. “You know as well as I do that injuries only affect us if we believe in them. Or have you forgotten Remus’ little throwing star lobotomy?”

“I’m aware,” Logan said stiffly.

Another dizzying wave of guilt threatened to knock Janus over. He took a half-step backwards to keep his footing. “Look. If it’s any consolation, Logan, I wouldn’t have done that if I had known it was going to hurt you.”

Logan’s face twitched with something that Janus recognized a split second later-- suppressed rage. “Janus,” he said, his voice somehow even. “I do not believe you.”

"Oh, yes," Janus spat, every word laced with venom, "You're right . I love causing unnecessary bodily harm to other Sides, that sounds exactly like me."

Logan gave a slight shake of his head. “You-- all of you --have made it abundantly clear that my presence is neither welcomed nor, in many cases, even tolerated. You would have done whatever it took to get me out of the way so you could pursue your agenda, and the others would likely not have stopped you even if they had known. Or rather, had they tried to stop you, it would have been in the service of doing just that: stopping you, rather than in service of assisting me ." Janus' defensive anger gave way to something very like concern, but Logan was still going: "They have given no indication they care about me; in fact, I believe they have grown to dislike me.” Logan broke off, breathing heavily. He didn’t seem to notice the way his fingers dug into his neck. "So, no, Janus. I do not believe you. Kindly ask your question and leave."

“I…” said Janus, for the sake of not making Logan feel judged while he came up with something of substance to respond. He hadn't been expecting that . “Didn’t Patton come check on you?”

“He left,” Logan said. “I waited, and he left.”

“You wanted him to apologize,” Janus guessed. “You wanted him to notice that he’d hurt you and apologize for it.”

Logan adjusted his tie. “I do not feel, and therefore I do not want.”

Janus didn’t even have to respond to that, only raise his eyebrows and look at the bruises that marred Logan’s skin (the bruises he had left).

“Janus, I do not understand what you stand to gain from this conversation,” Logan said. “I don't believe you would have come here just to watch me embarrass myself. Did you have a question, or was there something else you wanted from me?"

Janus ignored the question. He had just landed on his strategy. “Would you like to learn something, Logan?”

“Always.”

“Even though you might not like it?” “It is irrational to dislike knowledge.”

“So it doesn’t bother you that 85 is divisible by 17?”

For a moment, Logan looked like he might argue. Then he sighed, and might even have smiled a bit. “Go on.���

"You," Janus pointed at him, "have been derelict in your duty." He waited for Logan to look suitably offended before he continued, "Not as Logic, but as a friend."

Logan frowned, not offended, but puzzled. "I have?"

Janus thought it might be a bit too much to change Logan's room into a stage, but it was alright; he didn't need the physical change to feel the spotlight on him, to see Logan sitting, rapt, in the audience. “If you haven’t told the others how you feel, you have no right to expect them to just know . Patton and Roman especially have a difficult time intuiting how others are feeling unless you spoon-feed it to them. You cannot lock yourself away and expect them to come crawling on their knees, begging for your forgiveness. You need to communicate. You need to tell them how you feel .”

“How,” Logan said drily, “does one ‘spoon-feed’ emotions?”

“Please keep trying to deflect; you're so good at it."

“But you’re saying that I should explain to the others that my f…”

“ Go on.”

“Feelings are hurt.” Logan winced.

“Growth is often uncomfortable,” Janus said, adding a silent ‘ not that I would know’ for his own benefit.

“And you’re sure they’ll listen?” Logan, for the first time since Janus had known him, looked unsure. He adjusted his tie, which was already immaculate, and stared at Janus.

“One can only hope, since they claim to be your friends," Janus said to reassure him. "And you know, use ‘“I” statements’ instead of ‘“you” statements,’ you remember elementary school.”

A pause.

“Janus? Please elaborate on one thing for me."

"Yes?"

"Why are you helping me? Last time we were in proximity, you gave no indication whatsoever that you cared for me or my 'feelings,' nor for anyone else's. What changed?"

"It's complicated," Janus said, trying to evade the question.

"It's my job to handle 'complicated.' So tell me: Why are you helping me?"

Oh, Janus just loved feeling cornered. His eyes kept finding their way to the bruises on Logan's neck, tangible proof of all the pain Janus had caused. "Quid pro quo," he lied. "Patton misses you and I owe him a debt." His head swam and he forced himself to stand perfectly still to try to keep his balance. Blue bruises dominated his vision.

"Falsehood."

"Fine." Janus curled his lip. "Because I felt sorry for you--"

"Janus," Logan said in a tone of patient annoyance, like an irritated schoolteacher, "please."

Janus took a breath and tried to swallow down the sick guilt clawing at his chest. He wished Logan would have offered him a chair. Now was probably a bad time to ask. “It's because I’m sorry . I--” The room tilted sideways and he staggered in a bid to keep his balance, as there was nothing to steady himself against. “I’m sorry I did that.” He gestured at Logan's neck, fighting for breath. Every word seemed to require twice as much oxygen as usual. “It was wrong of me to silence you. And…” Deep breath. “Even though I thought it wouldn’t affect you--” Telling the truth didn’t usually hurt like this; he felt a little like he was going to be sick. What was going on? “It did, and I'm sorry."