#so err wtf am i supposed to do because lord knows it didn't work last time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

celestetalkstoomuch · 3 months

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trying to give up my Zhongli hyper fixation for a relationship was really hard, and it's not just because I'm obsessed with him but also because literally, all my emotional regulation had something to do with him, so when I was feeling things I didn't know what to do with myself and it makes me upset because 1 why am I like this and 2 how am I supposed to have any kind of healthy relationship when the thing that would help me be reasonable in a relationship is also a thing that feels like emotional cheating

#its hard becasue this year is coming up to 3 years of this zhongli obsession and its not going away and I have come to terms with that #and as much as i love the fact that I can find solace and respite and calm in this fictional character I know it will affect my capacity to #love and be in a relationship because #as embarrassing as it sounds #i dont think i can reasonably expect anyone human to take up the role this silly fictional character takes up in my life #i cant project all my problems onto a real person the way I do with zhongli and a real person cant know everything I want like the zhongli #in my head does #so err wtf am i supposed to do because lord knows it didn't work last time #also like #trying not to think abt zhingli also made me lower my standards in my last relationship and i put up with a lot of things that i really #should not have and would not have put up eith #its really hard bc i recognise that its unhealthy but when a 2d character is what kept you alive during #2 of the worse time periods of your life its not the kind of thing u can turn around #and just let go of

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